In Dark Alleys: Like Kult With More Tentacle Dicks
06:04pm UTC - 1/01/2016
Ever read/heard about Kult and thought: "Man! I'd love to play this, but only if it had more explicit gay sex and rants against literacy, science and modern medicine as evil things?" Then boy, IDA is the game for you!
Thankfully, it's not just cringeworthily stupid, it also has some occasional creative sparks, combined with poorly-designed mechanics, which result in it being possible to play a hideously-scarred ex-con without a brain, with a child sidekick whom everyone believes is Barack Obama.Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10Part 11Part 12Part 13Part 14Part 15Part 16Part 17Part 18
The Kromore RPG: Making 3E D&D Look Fair To Fighters
07:54pm UTC - 8/16/2015
Kromore is an RPG that I only noticed after someone popped into #suptg to beg for a WAREZED version of it. I laughed at him, then googled it to find out what it was, since I'd never seen it before. Turns out it was a Kickstarted RPG promising 10,000 years of history, a system that works in all eras, from fantasy through medieval, steampunk through sci-fi.
It just seemed like there was no way it was going to deliver, or at least not deliver with quality. I was right.Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7
The Wraeththu RPG: Vampires Just Weren't Homoerotic Enough
10:49pm UTC - 8/13/2015
Wraeththu is a series of books based around androgynous magical hermaphrodites that transform pretty young men into more androgynous magical hermaphrodites by bleeding on them, then riding unicorns, casting spells, being the perfect gay buddies for human women and then engaging in horrifying evil wizardry powered by sexually violating human men to death.
Oh and it has a section in the back on how to get your group to ERP with you. Wonderful, right? Of course the rules are also muddled shit(for doubled hilarity, after the semi-incomprehensible skill and combat rules, the relatively straight-forward chapter on magic makes all the skills and combat irrelevant by turning every single Wraeththu character into a godlike wizard. Why know how to fire a gun when you can railgun slugs of pure plutonium across the landscape?), the art is terrible and the only good words I have for it are about some of its foreword.
This review is another repost from Something Awful.Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10
Hc Svnt Dracones: Furry Capitalist Eclipse Phase
09:42am UTC - 8/04/2015
Earlier this year I reviewed Hc Svnt Dracones, or "HSD" simply on the basis of it being a furry RPG with atrocious cover art. Unfortunately, I reviewed it on Something Awful's forums, in their "Fatal & Friends" thread, so you guys didn't get to enjoy it. I've now transplanted the ten posts that make up the review to SupTG, some of the formatting is a bit wonky, but it should all be readable and "enjoyable."Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10
I know I say this all the time and only half-follow through, but for realsies, I'm going to be purging the archive soon. My laziness came back to bite me today when something got stuck in a loop and ate all the drive space, so I had to start culling just to get shit working again. I deleted the graveyard (no whining, you had like two years to grab shit) and specifically killed a bunch of .pdf dump threads that were taking up massive amounts of space. We're fine now, but culling will definitely help space issues.
Speaking of .pdf files, these are no longer archived, and I'll be removing existing .pdf files specifically. .pdf threads are the even-more-wasteful bastard brethren of image dumps; this is an archive, not a filehosting site. As for /tg/ projects, anyone seriously working on something is going to have their own site for hosting copies of their work, so they won't need outdated versions cluttering up the archive. (I don't think many people will even notice or care, but someone always complains about change, so I'm letting you know now.)
Anyway, repent and so on, the end times are nigh for your elf slave wat do quests!
Addendum: I'll see about adding .webm support going forward.
Happy holidays, everyone! We've been experiencing some technical difficulties the last few days with connectivity. Things seem to be stable again, so hooray and shit! If you had a thread lost during the upheaval, send me a .zip of the content and I'll see what I can do.
This time it's about being unprepared [#]
All aboard the writing bus!
08:57pm UTC - 9/19/2014
For once I'm not telling you how something you love and enjoy is utter shit and tripe. You should totally read this article just for the novelty of it.
Guess who wrote dumb shit on the internet again? [#]
No Fun Allowed: Stross Edition
08:16pm UTC - 5/30/2014
That's right, it's me. This time, we're talking about why you should feel bad if you actually read Charles Stross' terrible fucking The Laundry novels after experiencing the second one.
It's been a long while since the "reviews and ramblings" have been updated and I suspect it might go completely unnoticed without this post, so, here you guys go!It's a review of Eclipse Phase!
Featuring me being a cranky old man.
Comment system update, impending purge
04:59am UTC - 11/29/2013
Hi all, it's been a while. I never did complete the purge I began in my last update, but with Black Friday and nothing much to do, I'm going to likely spend the majority of my time tomorrow removing the remaining crap from 2013 and putting up downloads for the archives. It's been a while coming, and it'll be nice to make sure at least someone
else has a copy. I'm still likely going to do it via torrents, but we'll see what's easier.
Also there was a ton of spam showing up in the comments, so I went through and cleaned it all out with the help of new moderation tools that I'll likely never need again. You're going to have to solve a very difficult riddle to post from now on!
Howdy folks, it's that time again~
I've taken this week off to get some shit done that I just haven't had the energy to do. This means getting my car cleaned, license and registration renewed, and a variety of other crap. But you don't give a shit, do you? You just want to know what horrible quest threads I've removed this time. Here it is!:
Completed: January 2012, February 2012, March 2012, April 2012, May 2012, June 2012, July 2012, August 2012, September 2012, October 2012, November 2012; January 2013
Total: 964 culled threads, ~7.3G
- honey-bee-badger-dolphin hangrape (what)
- Civ Game: Welcome to Waterworld (FUCKING WATERWORLD QUEST)
- Rule 63 Potterverse: /tg/ continues getting shit done, in between drooling over various r63 Potter characters (kill me now)
- XCOM Waifu Simulator (squad broken)
- Blues Brothers in 40k. Need we say more? (Just one more word: nope)
- The Joker and a player in a game, both in a nude footrace. Epicness ensues. (I seriously need to auto-ban 'ensues')
- Skyrim Quest: We give no fucks to a dragon and escape from execution. Only to make our way to the nearest tavern to get our bard on. (this is literally what you do in the actual game, why did you make a quest)
- /tg/ begins building a Magic block based on WW2. Hitler is a planeswalker! (I hate you)
- Elf, what do: The wut do quest. (it's like an ouroboros of bad ideas)
- /tg/ is asked if anything on the good axis is compatible with slavery. Scenarios, modifications, and arguments ensue. (what.)
- Elf Ear Length - Discussion: How long is too long? It is this question that leads to discussion about the evolutionary necessity of long ears as well as a few "WTF, Japan?" moments. (all of my hate)
- 1000 fa/tg/uys fell from the sky... (and were deleted)
- Profound Social Commentary Regarding the Objectification of Women (prime example of ironic shit-archival, stop)
- Post It Quest 1: Lonely OP waits for participants, one shows up and takes his leave. Also, male genitalia. (this is only funny because of how sad it is)
- Black People Quest (no comment)
- Wheel of Time and My Little Pony (oh u)
- Katawa Shoujo as a D&D group (literally gimped characters)
- Orkmosis Jones Quest (I hate everything forever, especially because I laughed anyway)
- /tg/ reminisces. Tags: DADDY DON'T FUCK ME ON THE FRIDGE (that explains a lot actually)
- Transmetropolitan Quest Part 2 (Well part 1 got a pretty high rating, guess I'll just leave this alo--) In which the protagonist gets a new suit, goes on a date, gets laid, and makes a priest shit out of his mouth (welp)
- Dark Heresy Story Time. Tags: mediocrity ensues (then why did you archive it, assbutt)
- /tg/ is asked about Admech science, is answered with discussion of Techpriest schoolgirls and milk (why do you still draw breath)
Actually Good Threads:
- Embarrassing Spacecraft Names: Local Space Taliban leader "I suck cocks for a living and you can quote me on that", was caught trying to arm the ship "With As Many Guns As My Wife Has STDs" (solid gold, my lungs are on fire)
- Anal Prolapse Quest (okay this one is honestly fantastic, I can't stop cringing and laughing simultaneously and its rating is nearly 40, and it even has a conclusion, goddamn why is a parody so much better than the real thing)
Special Mention: Live With Your Shame
I was debating on whether or not to call out this particular archivist, because he's made a habit of adding the worst of the worst /tg/ threads to the archive. Whether deliberate or ironic, shitposting is shitposting, and I'd prefer this not happen. However, I do have to say at least he's 1) made it much easier for me to remove this garbage and 2) he's actually fairly funny with his descriptions.
Special Mention: Troll archival
I realize there are a number of people that really despise quest threads, and after cleaning literally hundreds of non-starters out of the archives, I can certainly see where you're coming from. However, by mis-archiving quests with shitty labels, you're only serving to accomplish two things: one, you're taking all of thirty seconds out of my day to fix the tags, and two, you're training quest creators to immediately archive their threads to avoid mis-labeling, which just exacerbates the issue. Post-It Quest is a prime example, it had all of twenty replies, but was archived as soon as the author could refresh 4chan after posting it.
The only way you're going to stop quest threads on /tg/ is to stem the tide at the source. Shitting up the archive isn't helping anyone's cause. For the record, I am not, have never been, and, saints preserve me, will never be a janitor or moderator on 4chan. I have no power, authority or influence to stop quest threads from existing on /tg/; I'm just an archivist. By definition, by the time it reaches me, it's already too late. You're going to need to change the community's mind, and that can't be done with goofy labeling.
Literal Viral Advertising
05:08am UTC - 4/13/2013
I'm not really sure how many people actually visit the front page, but Viral asked me to link his Engine Heart Kickstarter, so here it is!
From the site:
Engine Heart is a game about little robots. When the humans were around nobody paid any attention to them, but now the humans are all gone, and they're on their own in a world that's falling apart.
You can download the game completely free here if you're interested, but the Kickstarter will get a physical copy in stores. Go check it out!
Server Move part deux
09:36pm UTC - 3/05/2013
Hey guys, sorry about the downtime earlier, they moved the server to another location in Luxembourg and I totally missed the announcement. Everything's back to normal~
WELCOME TO LUXEMBOURG
So I was going to make a post about how we're migrating to Luxembourg at the end of the month, but my VPS provider decided I'd forgotten and just moved the whole thing for me. So, as of last week, we're in Europe now. Amerifags may see some latency while Euronurds will undoubtedly have a better connection; however, overall it should be far more stable and bandwidth-friendly than it's been in recent months.
If you notice any severe fuckups or shit getting crazy, please let me know, but otherwise enjoy the newer, faster, farther server!
I'm finally getting around to culling the archive of low-rated and useless threads (e.g. image dumps). I'm going to do one or two months' worth tonight and press on until the content is cleaned down in preparation for a server move in December. Someone's also working on getting the older archives' files up as torrents for me so it doesn't get messed up if I switch servers while seeding.
As usual, I'll be keeping the killed threads in a separate graveyard archive for a while so I can recover anything I may need or provide threads to any interested parties. On a related note, I've still got the graveyard files from last time, so if anyone needs them, now's the time to ask. (I was going to make a full torrent out of them as well, but I think the interest is low enough that I can simply FTP it at whoever really wants it. Yes, anon from like a month ago who was looking for a particular story thread and had no idea what it was called, hit me up on the IRC again and I'll give you the files.)
I've put this off for long enough, so with the deadline of jumping ship to the hosting provider's new datacenter, it's given me the incentive to finally get off my ass and do this thing. I'll keep this post updated with a running record of culled threads in a separate page so you can see what was removed.
Thread deletion progress
List of deleted threads
Total threads removed: 705
Total data: 5.3G
Completed: June 2011 (152), July 2011 (121), August 2011 (90), September 2011 (96), October 2011 (119), November 2011 (127), December (105)
- "Wherein /tg/ discusses baculae, dracoliches, and beats people up with their dicks. This thing is composed of sweat, calluses, homoerotic manlyness, body hair, bones and cocks!"
- "If a werewolf has sex with a dog, is it beastiality? - /tg/ thinks far too hard about questions that really do not need thinking." +5 after 31 votes. This was HOTLY CONTESTED and still came out positive.
- On a quest thread: "Part 1 doesn't exist. Don't look for it. We pimp out our mammoths like real niggas."
- "One anon firgures out how to make 17,773,437,500 gallons of blood per year in the name of Khorne." I love these kinds of broken math threa-oh. Period blood. Hilarious. Bonus points for "firgures."
- "Rape in games, can it be done?" Thankfully, -14 after 14 votes. Squad morale marginally restored.
- "dark heresy archives": +15 after 17 votes. Its OP is two MegaUpload links. That's it. Dear lone dissenting vote: ilu. <3
- Minecraft Quest. Fuck yourself.
- "/tg/ has a reasonable, intelligent, mature, and interesting discussion about sex in games. Includes some storytime." THIS IS A FLAGRANT LIE. IT IS ALWAYS A LIE. I've said I'll never add a filter to the archive for keywords, but 'sex', 'hilarity', and 'ensues' are really asking for it.
- "A troll thread turns good." AAAA LIAR LIAR FACE ON FUCKING FIRE
And now, some actual cool threads!
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