12:49am UTC - 10/05/2008

Oh yeah? I see your It and raise you a Thing:


You've got to be fuckin' kidding me.

Some people are afraid of clowns. Everyone is terrified of a fucking spider-head-thing. Also, Species? Pff, that wasn't scary, unless misogyny is terrifying. (Best part of the movie is where they find the guy with the needle, but it's just insulin for his diabetes; it's not like a male could possibly be evil in that shitfest and be hooked on heroin or something.) And as for House, the original was ntended to be horror-comedy; it's got too much silliness amidst the horror to have been a serious movie. (I prefer not to think about the sequel.)

The three movies I watch in rotation every Halloween are House on Haunted Hill (the remake, I didn't much like the Vincent Price original), Phantoms (based on the book by Koontz), and Event Horizon. You may roll your eyes at one or all of them, but they've each got some fucking spectacular moments. Phantoms has an empty town, brain-sucking moths, a few really good "boo" moments, and a bitchin' villain (or two). Hill has some great moments with Geoffrey Rush losing his mind, Jacob's Ladder-inspired special effects, and some pretty intense scenes (like when he's trapped in the scary-go-round, the asylum bit in the beginning, and anything with The Doctor). And, of course, Event Horizon. Haunted house in space. How can you not love that?

I completely reject the entire genre of torture-porn as "scary" because it's just idiotic. The only exception to the entire genre, which seemed to have actually started the whole mess, was the original Saw: a thriller-mystery with a brilliant plot and plenty of twists. I classify it as a thriller, not horror. The sequels basically forgot what made the first one such a smash success and all its imitators focused on the limb-removal instead of the "whodunit."

Anyway, yes, we're still on for tonight for horror movies. I'm fairly certain that SHOUTcast can stream video; I just need to get the right tools to encode a movie and then broadcast it to the SHOUTcast. Again, if anyone has any experience in doing this, please let me know as I'd love to have someone help me get this shit going as soon as possible.

~Lord Licorice

Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.



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