Well, Thing's are pretty scary.
02:23pm UTC - 10/05/2008
And fuck you in the ear for stealing what I was planning to use. I guess I'll have to bring out something that terrifies any internet nerd...
Not, not an alien, a vagina. But since I have to keep the frontpage moderately SFW, I suppose that's as far as I can go.
[SPOILERS AHOY, FAGGOMORPHS]
Totally watched Phantoms today, I swear to God, normally I don't like shock-horror much, but it mixes them up fucking good. Latter half of the movie goes a bit downhill, though, the way they beat it and such is just, I don't know, a tad out of the blue, plus it's a bit anticlimactic that it has all these fucked up forms, and then they just end up shooting needles at a giant golem made out of corpses. Flyte's actor was excellent, though, can't say as much for the rest of the main cast, except for the creepy cop. He really WAS pretty creepy and sleazy, and the ending was brilliant.
Speaking of alien dongs and vagina, Alien. Pretty decent horror the first time you watch it, especially the Director's Cut. Really, ALL of the Alien movies, even Resurrection, benefit SO MUCH from their Director's Cut versions. Aliens has a lot less horror, being more action-y and character-oriented, but it has a couple of scares and creepy bits. Alien 3? I'd say that's definitely classic horror, and it's also VERY Good at not doing shock, it's genuinely creepy. Resurrection? More in the vein of Aliens than Alien or Alien 3. And it's actually not a bad movie up until the fucking Alien Baby. Honestly, if there's anything it suffers from, it's a LACK of action. Most of the battling and dying and shit outside of the main cast happens off-screen, some soldiers vs aliens battles would have been a nice addition, and generally just a bit more gibbing of aliens.
Predator and Predator 2 aren't actually horror, but they're about as close as the Aliens and Alien 4.
Resident Evil could have been some epically awesome horror if not for the fact that most of the movie is spent wondering why the fuck the characters are so goddamn stupid. The main characters being retarded should NOT be required for the script to function, fuckdammit. "HUR DUR THIS CORRIDOR IS TOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS, LET'S ALL FUCKING WALK INTO IT TOGETHER RATHER THAN MAYBE SENDING SOMEONE ON AHEAD, JUST TO CHECK THE DOOR AT THE END ISN'T LOCKED AND IT'S SOME SORT OF RIDICULOUSLY FUCKING OBVIOUS TRAP DUR DUR DUR."
I swear to fucking God that movie.
Mimic was an alright movie, actually, suffers are bit from Tard Script, again, but not so badly.
You know what always bugs me about horror/sci-fi? When some random scientist just sits down and looks at something for a second and then makes some AMAZING leap of logic or random discovery by spilling something on something and BAM, NOW WE UNDERSTAND THE FUCKING PLOT. Or they take 2/3rds of the plot to figure out something that's glaringly obvious to the viewer. Jesus.
Just keep science and computers out of these fucking movies, guys. You don't understand it and you can't involve it without making it retarded. JUST ACCEPT IT.