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Demonic Ace of Spades - Alicia's Phylactery

Mansion Status:
Facilities: Beachfront property
Kitchen: Average (3 of 5)
Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
Gardens: Fair (2 of 5)
Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
Beach: Average (3 of 5)

Staff
Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)
Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE
Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Warm 8/10)
Felicia, the cute catgirl (Warm) - SEXED
Jehanne, the paladin (Trust)
Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust (Hostile)
SISTER FUCKING CARMINE, THE FUCKING FEMALE FUCKING ANGRY MARINE! (Angry)
Koyomi, your Japanese gamer science nerd. (Neutral)

50 XP

It is evening of day 6 of 30. You are currently working out Alicia's contract with your lawyers.

WHAT DO?

1.5 of 3

>>9097988
1.5, sorry :P

Get the contract buisiness finished up

Let's do this thing. Sign the contract, specifying that the phylactery will be held by a neutral party.

>>9098009
Math errors, XP, etc.

>>9098021
Any specific neutral party?

>>9098032

Give to Reginald.

>>9098017
>>9098021
These two. Maybe suggest hanging out with Alicia tomorrow and doing something with her. The sooner she's not hostile to us, the better.

I'm gonna repeat my proposition again:

Call the Paladin and CARMINE!

Bring a hammer.

Put phylactery and hammer on table.

Have Alicia sit across you. Explain VERY calmly that SHE DOES NOT GET TO DEMAND ANYTHING!
Threaten to break it if she refuses.

remove her out of our inheritance

>>9098021
Also, see if Literal Genie bullshit is prevented by the contract.

If it isn't, that's our first order.

>>9098032
Reginald sounds good.

>>9098032

Reginald.

He will know what to do if the contract is broken.

ALSO OONST OONST OONST.

>>9098017
concur'd

Then banquet to celebrate its completion and the hiring of our nerd scientist; formal wear mandatory, clothing optional.

>>9098057
No Literal Genie Bullshit is literally the very first clause in the contract.

Someone needs to archive XII, I archived XI and can't do it

We should also keep the contract itself somewhere where no one will find it. I'm thinking Reginald here especially, as there will probably be... sticky questions regarding the presence of the clause about his daughter.

>>9098063
>>9098062
>>9098061
>>9098043
>>9098040
>>9098021

You agree to have Reginald hold onto the Ace of Spaces, and then you sign the papers. The lawyers nod and fold up their briefcases, then walk out of the room.

You find Reginald sitting in his bedroom. The walls are covered with guns and knives.

He is sitting in a large, rather ratty easy chair, wearing a smoking jacket and smoking a pipe. He is reading a book. It appears to be Charles Dickens.

>>9098111

Experienced lawyers will keep even this vague enough for nobody except us and Alicia to understand.

>>9098126
"So, hey, you know that whole 'aliens probing your daughter' thing? My idea!"

HAHA JUST KIDDING NOT A SERIOUS RESPONSE OH PLEASE DON'T OH GOD OH GOD

Approach him cautiously

>>9098126
>>9098126
I want you to teach me to be a man that you can approve of.

STOP OBSESSING OVER THE CONTRACT

YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO THWART THE GM'S WILL

THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT IS THROUGH SHEER BRILLIANT AD-HOC MANUVERING, AS ALWAYS

YOU WANT BVR? YOU WANT AIM-120S? FUCK YOU. JETTISON THAT SHIT AND GET READY FOR SEAT-OF-THE-PANTS ACM, BITCHES.

>>9098126
>Dickens

Ooooh, ask him what he thought about David Copperfield, but tell him not to spoil anything as we're only 100 pages in.

>>9098126
Ask Reginald if he knows anybody that could run a background check on Koyomi.

I'm suddenly suspicious. No reason not to play it safe.

>>9098070
Excellent.

Also, our first order to Alicia is to magically conceal the existence of that gag order about the alien probulator thing from anyone who isn't her, us or the lawyers.

Then we order her to not accept any sleazy orders from us (like to have sex with us, to kill herself in our service, etc.) unless she willingly chooses to.

>>9098181

Second.

>>9098126

"Please keep this in the safest confidence. It is a matter of life and death"

And then place the Ace Of Spades into the novel as an improvised bookmark.

Memorize the book's title.

>>9098126
Spend some of that XP. We could use some better stats.

>>9098062
NOT REGINALD
if Alicia breaks the contract and tells him, we won't be able to destroy the phylactery.
Give the phylactery to Jehanne instead.
keep Reginald removed from these goings on

>>9098170
>>9098170
psst, you missed the thread... The airplane thread is the other one.

>>9098126

"Sir, I have a question. Between the fact that your daughter is.... well, yeah, and the fact that she can shoot a squirrel in the left nut at twenty paces, she has the potential to hurt me like I've never been hurt before. It scares me.

She... she doesn't play games, does she?"

>>9098126

"Hello, my good man."

Hand him the card.

"Guard this with your fucking life. Thank you."

>>9098181
What for?

Thus far Alicia was the only one that warranted caution and we exercised it a bit too late for it to matter.

Just let him know what happened and that we're trusting him not only as a butler, but as a friend to make sure nothing happens to the Ace of Spades.

>>9098201
Honestly if we want to rules lawyer, give it to Sam as she can never not be devoted to us...

>>9098181
>>9098174
>>9098168
>>9098160

"Reginald."

"Young master."

"How are you doing?"

"Just reading. . . it's not a bad book. It's no Great Expectations, but then, little that Dickens wrote is. What can I do for you?"

"I've signed a contract with Alicia. Part of it holds that we have to keep her phylactery in safe keeping. . . as long as she cooperates, we don't destroy it. But you can hold onto it as insurance in case she goes insane."

Reginald takes the playing card from you and tucks it into his jacket pocket. He taps out his pipe on his ashtray. "I feel, young master, you did not come here just to give me this," he says, patting his pocket.

>>9098206

Oh, no, that was just a tortured analogy for how we should go about things. BVR == careful planning, ACM == seat-of-the-pants wildness.

And I find it interesting that you're not the only planefag keeping track of this thread as well as the plane one... :)

>>9098207
ooh, thats interesting, but he may be offended...

>>9098207
I like it. We should make plans to play a short game of a tabletop game on day seven where it's mandatory for everyone to play. We could make it customary to do so every seventh day of the week.

>>9098228
I want you to teach me to be a real man. I want you to teach me to be someone you can be proud of.

>>9098228
oh god
what's in the pocket?

Let's make a simple contract that is nothing but a contract that forces her into an eternal quest of redemption for all the wrongs she has done that results in her eternal death if she were to stray from it. That is enough and will fuck up any an all of her plans.

>>9098228

"Indeed, we didn't."

"How do you feel about David Copperfield?"

>>9098207

I'll re-iterate this one.

>>9098228

Background check on our newest maid?

>>9098228
"...What do you mean?"

>>9098126
Say hello to Reggie. Give him the card, tell him the score regarding it.

Then tell him we think Jehanne might be attracted to him. Tactfully, though.

And we tell him the following: "I have two very important things to say to you. First, your daughter is one of the most physically, mentally and emotionally attractive women I've ever met, and the reason I say 'one of' is because when I sit down and think about her it's hard to remember other women well enough for comparison. Second, I am utterly terrified at the prospect of you experiencing justified paternal rage. What should I do to acknowledge the former while preventing the latter, especially given the details of the will?"

>>9098284

(to be clear, I'm samefag.)

Man.

Do you guys know any good eroges? I need, ah, to do some research. While I'm in the mood, y'know.

Someone needs to archive Thread 12.

>>9098191
Seconding this, to be done as our very first order the next time we see Alicia.

>>9098289

blatant asskissing is not the way to go. Present it from our perspective- Samantha is more dangerous then Reginald. All he can do is kill us, and we're (WINK WINK) terminal anyhow. Samantha can shatter our soul. :<

Just FYI: Reginald is reading A Tale of Two Cities.

>>9098289
>>9098285
>>9098284
>>9098273

"I need you to do a check on our newest Maid. . . Koyomi. Something about her feels off."

Reginald nods. "Of course. I will unfailingly protect my young master."

There is an awkward pause.

Reginald sighs and rubs his mustache. "Young master, we are both men of action. Let us get to the point. You want to sleep with my daughter. I want to cut your balls off if you do so. We are at an impasse here. Perhaps we should settle this properly. Like men."

>>9098340
BUT I'M NOT A MAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN

>>9098340
>You want to sleep with my daughter.
DENY DENY DENY DENY DENY DENY

>>9098340

There is no way to do that without one of us dying, however. There must be a way to settle this with only minor burns, sprains, and tissue damage...

Isn't there?

>>9098334
This isn't blatant asskissing, this is simple truth. We do find Samantha incredibly attractive in every way, and Reginald does completely fucking terrify us. We may as well be honest with him on both counts. Especially since he also knows the conditions of the will, and thus knows that we're going to have connections with at least two (in his mind, three) other maids.

>>9098340
I don't want to necessarily sleep with her this early on in the relationship...

>>9098318
>In return, you need to pay her and she gets a cut of the inheritance money.
>implying we would sleep with a slutty evil bitch that has slept with probably everyone in our family
Even we have standards.

>>9098340
"I beg to differ, good sir. I don't want to sleep with your daughter. I want to marry her, love her, live her, and protect her."

>>9098340
"Yeah. Okay. uh. I guess I'll meet you on the field of honor. Pistols at dawn, etcetera."

Talk to Alicia about arranging a tragic accident for Reginald.

How do you propose we do that my good sir?

>>9098340
Respectfully acknowledge him. No backing out or backing down. We will die honorably.

>>9098340
"What do you suggest?"

>>9098366
>>9098380

". . . so you're saying you don't want to sleep with my daughter? You're saying you don't find her attractive?"

Reginald fixes you with a hard, stern look. The barest hint of a smile quirks his lips.

>>9098375 here.

There is only one manly solution I can think of.

DRINKING CONTEST.

>>9098387
no.
We will never betray Reginald.
Even if he were to attack us.

>>9098340
"If I wanted to sleep with her I would have done so already, whether you liked it or not. The fact that I haven't should tell you something."

>>9098408
She is much like her father.

>>9098387
...Have to second this.

I do NOT want to die.

Not to mention, we get to comfort Sam then!

>>9098408
"She is very attractive if that's what you want to her. But we don't know her well enough and her feelings for us seem to be sincere. It would be a shame to abuse that."

>>9098340

>you want to sleep with my daughter

This statement deserves to be met with a dark and terrible scowl most fearsome to behold. We've got a mansion of delectable pussy at our fingertips, and Samantha is the only one we've bothered to FLIRT with coyly, talk to, and generally act like smitten dipshits around.

OH REGINALD MIGHT KILL US. BEEN THERE DONE THAT, talk to Alica about that one.

>>9098340
"By which you mean get blind-sided when she takes charge and shuts both of us down before we can say anything?"

Shrug.

"What? I am genre-savvy, you know. We both know who's going to wear the pants in our respective relationships with your daughter, and it isn't either of us."

>>9098408

Oh hell no, we're not doing this sitcom-y BULLSHIT.

Yes, we find your daughter attractive. Yes, we do want to make love to her. No, we do not intend to leave her after doing so. We think. Polygamy may or may not be needed.

>>9098318
I would do it, but to be fair I have no idea how to go about doing that.


Also : DANGER DANGER

>>9098434
>her
I meant to write "hear".

No it's not that, I just like to ensure my continued existence.

>>9098408
I'm saying I would not have a fling with your daughter.
Were I to enter into a relationship with her, it would be fulfilling and meaningful.
I think far to highly of her to do anything less.

>>9098408
I don't want to force something sir. I mean, I do like her, you have a wonderful daughter.

(Oh god, it's the father/boyfriend conversation all over! Except with an even more real chance of death!)

>>9098340
Yes. Yes I do. But it's not that I JUST want to sleep with your daughter. I care about her. And I care about you. Out of respect for you, I have held back. I want your approval first.

>>9098408
"I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, someone I don't deserve. I love her, I respect her, and I want what she wants. If she asked for you to cut my balls off, I'd let you.


Although I really hope she didn't ask for that."

>>9098397
>>9098406
>>9098388
>>9098387
>>9098386

Reginald shakes his head and smiles. "Young master, it is not like that. I am your butler, I would not wish to harm you. But I am not a young man. One day I will be gone, and my daughter's husband must be strong enough to protect her. If you can defeat me in single combat. . . hand to hand. . . without killing me. . . by the time the month is over, you will have my blessing to ask my daughter to marry you."

>>9098346
You're right.

We broke out of hell.

We are officially a man and a half.

>>9098469

Then I hope you do not sabotage my CQC training.

>>9098408
"You do realize that pulling the male equivalent of the 'Does this dress make me look fat?' line of questioning is a low blow, right?"

>>9098408
"What, you haven't figured it out yet?" *wink at him seductively*

>>9098408

"It's not the attractiveness that terrifies us, it's the way we freeze like a deer in the fucking headlights when she tilts her head one way and laughs."

>>9098469
PUT IT ALL IN ATHLETICS.

ALL OF IT!

>>9098340

Shrug.

"You're rushing to conclusions."

"You know as well as I do that I need to sleep with three maids before the month expires. And I'm not nearly stupid enough to make Samantha one of those three."

"Once this madness of my inheritance is over with...I'll be able to commit. For the short time that God allows me, anyway."

>>9098469
XP TIME!!! Raise skill or athletics to three! Challenge Reg to another knife fight!

>>9098469
FUCK YEAH
TRAINING MONTAGE

Accept. Raise stats

>>9098469

IT'S ON.

Get scientist chick on the task of re-sizing Carmine's power armor. FUCKING STAT.

>>9098513
>>9098497

Goddamn it, show some patience. We're only on day 6.

>>9098469
Oh, sweet. So we just need to grind some xp. Awesome!

Okay... Wacky quest hijinks. well, we should just bang everyone else before the final boss (Reginald) then.

Although, it is COMPLETE bullshit that he's being a total dick here. His daughter wants it, he knows it, he knows we're going to have her, and he can go fuck a sock for all I care.

>>9098497
Oh, and let me remind you of Reginald's stats.

Athletics: 6
Affection: 1
Skill: 4
Cunning: 6
Luck: 3
Will: 7

Super Evasion (Can negate an attack by taking 1d6 Stress).
TACTICAL GENIUS HURR HURR (Always has reinforcements/equipment prepared ahead of time).

>>9098535
GODDAMN, SHOW SOME BALLS AND AMBITION

We're not going to get anywhere doing nothing. Let's train, BITCH!

>>9098511
This sounds like a good idea.

But I'm beginning to think we're going to be having a much harder time achieving our harem end now...

Ah well, we'll burn that bridge when we cross it. We're only a fifth of the way through.

>>9098536
Fathers get to be total dicks about their daughters. It's a classic plotline, dude, don't knock it.

>>9098535
SO IMAGINE THE PUSSY WE COULD SCORE IF WE GOT THIS OUT OF THE WAY.

A maid a day keeps the fleshlight away!

>>9098513
we'll need a lot more than 3.
Reginald is the bonus boss after final.
Once we have slept with three girls and the will is fulfilled, we must defeat him to get the extra good ending.
He's the Ballos of this game.

>>9098532
Screw that, we have a good ol' fashion fistfight. He is manly as hell. We WILL be just as manly when that time comes around. We shouldn't rush to battle right now, we rolled horribly last time and our CQC lesson was mostly "How NOT to do CQC."

>>9098469

Accept.

>>9098469
"In that case, one other important question.

I can agree to not make a move on her for a month. I care enough about her feelings and your opinion to fight off my physical desires there.

But can we both agree that you won't murder me if she's the one who makes the first move? Because as much as I respect you, I'm not going to crush Samantha's feelings by rejecting her. Your opinion matters to me, but hers matters more."

>>9098549
Super Evasion
Will: 7

Oh fuck.

>>9098564
The best way to gain experience is by fighting someone who is stronger than you.

>>9098560
FUCK THE PLOTLINE, WE FOUGHT OUT OF HELL

NEXT MAID WE MEET IS GOING TO BE NAMED PLOTLINE, AND WE WILL FUCK HER SO HARD SHE'LL BE...PLOT...BENT AT A WEIRD ANGLE

>>9098469
Does magic count as hand to hand if you use it buff yourself?

>>9098579
this

Get science chick to work on some massive geneboosts STAT

We should be able to take out Reginald by the end of the week.

>>9098563
>>9098555

You aren't even trying anymore.

I'd modify those terms. "I defeat you, PERIOD. Not on your terms, or your ground. No warrior worth a damn lets his opponent dictate the terms of battle."

>>9098607
What?

>>9098585
Or we do this the anime style and train under him and ultimately go up against him to prove that we have become his equal.

We're not trying to best Reginald here, it's not life or death. Not anymore, anyways. We just want to prove that we're more than strong enough for Samantha.

>>9098579
Well put.

>>9098581
For those who don't understand, Reginald can negate an attack every turn by taking 1d6 Stress, and he can absorb 70 Stress before it has any negative side effects.

Basically, we're looking at around 20 rounds of combat before we can actually start hitting him.

Ehhhh... I dunno guys. What if something better comes along? It's not even been a week. we might be able to get something better than Samantha here.

>>9098469

I am suddenly reminded of a certain baseball game.

>>9098617
agreed.
Reginald is our master, and the final boss.

we should get Jehanne to train us. She'll be impressed over our muscle growth being a size queen and whatnot.

>>9098641
If that happens, that happens.

But the reward is so much sweeter if you have to fight for it.

>>9098632
Again, magic/poison will be necessary in this fight.

He is a man. He would not expect us to go halfway for love.

Don't bother with Athletics, it's where he's strong.

Boost our Affection and our Luck. Maybe Cunning too, maybe Will. But Affection and Luck are paramount.

Boost our Affection high enough and we can channel The Power Of Love to a degree beyond anything Reggie's Tactical Genius can withstand. And Luck gives us a better chance of pulling it off.

>>9098610
And we've be a better man by honoring his terms and still managing to best him. He fought with our father and served him before he served us. The least we can do is respect him that much.

We might be a fa/tg/uy but we're not a /b/tard, goddamnit.

>>9098632

That's why this "best me in hand-to-hand combat" shit can go straight to hell. Point out that no warrior fights on his enemies terms if he's worth a tin shit.

And if we can't do that, we cheat and cheat hard any goddamn way.

>>9098641

In that case?

We lose to Reginald and don't get to marry Samantha. He keeps being our butler, she keeps being our head maid.

Win/Win.

>>9098632

So, to beat Reginald, we nede:

A) Uberdefenses
B) A way to make his stress spike

We have /one/ bit of information that will achieve B, but then we never get Samantha, and he will fucking kill us.

Lets go learn that transformation magics now. We can turn Kat into a girl and be able to become godzilla!

>>9098665

>implying our uncle was honorable

>>9098656
True. It's not like we'll be permanently stuck with Samantha. Also, she's easy enough to distract. She won't be able to get in the way of our loinal conquistadoring.

>>9098666
We are no warrior, we are a gentleman.
Or at least we're trying to be.

So. . . accept on his terms, or would you rather do the "on my terms" thing?

>>9098693
On his terms

WAIT.

To be as badass as Reginald, we need a suit. Do we have a suit?

>>9098693
Accept his.

>>9098693
You know what, fuck the rest of /tg/.

I'm sticking with his terms.

>>9098693
accept

make plans with both paladin chick and angry marine chick to train.

>>9098693

ON MY TERMS.

As a warrior, he'll understand this perfectly.

>>9098693
Bring up >>9098579 before accepting.

>>9098661 is our strategy to beat him. Trying to beat him Athletics against Athletics is just asking for a Bad End Flag.

>>9098549

Yeaaahhh, we're boned. Quick, call upon our super nerdity to quickly browse TV Tropes and some manga sites to find anything that'll give us an edge!

Oh, and stick with his terms, it'll probably make him approve of you more.

>>9098689
We are a low down munchkinizing demon fucking terminal illness faking nerd raping fa/tg/uy.

I don't know what you're talking about, but me? I say we think laterally, and not play at being some honorable prissypants. Would we be the kind of guy to charge the gunline with a lance? No. We'd be the guy in the fucking tank.

>>9098693
OUR TERMS.

He's a badass ex-SAS fucker. He'd think we were a pussy otherwise.

>>9098693
We still have a harem to assemble... but in any case, we need to keep his respect and unlock Samantha. This still achieves both.

Agree to his terms.

>>9098693
On a warrior's terms; no honor.

Masturbate.

>>9098743

fucking seriously. This is REGINALD. Without consulting his stats, fucking consider the mad shit we have seen him do. CONSIDER IT. CONSIDER IT GENTLEMEN.

WE ARE BONED. Even with power armor to match his athletics, his cunning is SHIT HOT. and the will + evasion thing is fucking insane.

His terms.
He's been nothing if not a bro and I still feel bad about the alien thing.

Agree to his terms.

Loophole the fuck out of them.

Offer an extra share of our inheritence to Alicia if she helps us think of loopholes in the terms of his challenge.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCombatPragmatist

We need to train with just about everyone so we know enough to pull it off.

do not forget what has taken us this far- sick, twisted deviance.

Challenge him to a game of Ro-Sham-Bo

>>9098791
Sam should know her father's techniques better than anyone...

His terms. Why bother fighting him to prove we are worthy of his daughter and then do so in a dishonorable manner.

>Faked a terminal illness for sympathy.
>Tricked the guy's daughter into getting raped by aliens to steal their technology.
>Forced a demon girl into slavery so that you could fuck her.
>Thinking about forcing a paladin to break her vows to fuck her.
>Just raped a nerd girl.
>"WE R GETNLMENZ"

Oh /tg/.

>>9098693
Lets spend the 30 xp to buff our skill skill and start studying magic to give a an extra edge against the fights to pursue.

>>9098781

We have plenty of time to work on becoming an uber badass that can compete, and potentially defeat, Reginald. We will work on this while going about our other duties.

>>9098809
Hey, no one ever said a gentleman had to be a moralfag.

>>9098790
Nah, she helps us kick his ass, she gets her precious card back.

>>9098809

You have a very strange definition of rape.

Seems the conversation is still going. I'll let it continue for a bit.

We can use alien technology to augment ourselves once sci-bitch produces some serious results.

>>9098809
>Forced a demon girl into slavery so that you could fuck her.
No, we forced her into slavery for trying to kill us and because some of us are too pussy to kill the evil(literally) bitch.

>>9098823
>Not a moralfag
>Not using the demon loli to solve our problems

>>9098797
If push comes to shove I'm sure we could randomly blurt out, "I WANT YOU INSIDE ME, REGGIE!"

I mean, we've jerked off to Sonic boning Tails and masturbate first damn thing we get up. We're going to be a manly man but we're still going to be a disgusting one.

>>9098848
Yeah! fucking her will come later!

>>9098832

And then tells him about the alienrape.

No, we're keeping that card. But we can offer her other things to improve her lot in life in exchange for her help.

>>9098838
Well GM, what would agreeing to his terms rule out I mean? That has a lot to do with it. What exactly do you mean by one-on-one hand to hand combat?

Where's the orky waifu?

What is with the sudden influx of faggotry?

Oh, euro/tg/ is waking up. Maybe we should end the quest for today?

>>9098838
you might as well call it, I don't think we're gonna get anywhere.

>>9098843
Then we can learn magic to further boost ourself.

>>9098876
Well, just that. One on one. Hand to hand. No weapons.

>>9098889

Magic+Science=AWESOME

We didn't force her or the paladin and we didn't rape anyone.

...What the fuck did I just read?

Isn't this shit more up /jp/'s alley?

As we play we must be observant! We must kill the old man before he becomes a problem! Or clone him and watch the fireworks.

>>9098853
I never agreed to that part. I think we should exploit the bitch.

>>9098809
>Forced a demon girl into slavery so that you could fuck her

Actually once Alicia went loli on us a whole bunch of us said we shouldn't fuck her. Maybe pick on her and act like she really is a little girl, but she's apparently out of the question. Then again, I assume that group is the same one that doesn't want to fuck Kat before turning her true female.

>Just raped a nerd girl.
She was begging for it, sir. Literally. I suggest you go read the last thread again. She was the one who wanted to sex us up first, we just obliged because really, who wouldn't?

>>9098894
With no shirts?
And Samantha tied up to a bomb?
On top of a METAL GEAR?

You know this is only about marriage. Didn't say jack about her jumping in the sack with us.

Just saying.

>>9098894

Aight. We agree.

And our demon loli finds ways to abuse those terms.

With Carmine's Power Armor on hand for reverse-engineering, and other related advantages, we might match Reginald for Athletics, and match him via Cunning, but how the FUCK do we beat his SICK willpower and special ability?

His "deal" is bullshit. Fight like we have always fought- recklessly pursuing devious lateral thinking. Fight like Reggie himself will fight- unfairly as fucking possible.

He's a bro, yes. But he also beat us fucking senseless and we haven't yet laid a hand on his darling girl.

>>9098809
The nerd girl was fine with it, she initiated it even.
She only made us stop when she realized the device would activate.
But yeah, that's /tg/

>>9098579
Reginald nods. "I'll agree to this as long as you'll allow me to try and make sure, within reason, that I am almost always there to. . . chaperone you two."

He closes up his book and nods to you. "And now it is late, young master. Time for you to go to bed. You have an early day tomorrow."

also someone needs to archive

I think we can beat him, but we'll have to fight dirty. Get our stats up a good bit, and forcibly max out his stress.

Unless his stress explosion just makes him more violent...

>>9098907

>>9098916
>Then again, I assume that group is the same one that doesn't want to fuck Kat before turning her true female.

Sorry to disappoint you, I'm in the pædophile camp but disgusted by the idea of fucking the trap. I don't have a problem with playing along if other people enjoy it, though.

>Faked a terminal illness for sympathy.

Hang on, when did this happen?

>>9098945
That's a good question. You might want to research his Stress Explosion.

>>9098942
This is acceptable for now. I don't think we're quite ready to make a decision regarding Samantha for endgame.

As for now, we've gotta talk to our other maids. They've been neglected all day!

>>9098942
Lock the door when we go to bed. It won't keep Felicia out of course, but hopefully anyone else won't interrupt.

And on that note, we should look into soundproofing the house.

>>9098942

>OP allows us to postpone the details of the deathmatch

This man knows how to manage game flow. Observe. Fucking observe, gentlemen.

>>9098974
No idea, one anon suggested it and Goshu went with it.

>>9098933
he can block one attack per turn.
Learn to punch twice per turn.
Problem sort of solved.

>>9098975
Can we gain our own? I mean, we could train with FUCKING CARMINE, THE ANGRIEST FUCKING SPESS MAHREEN DICKSHITTING OUT THERE GODFUCK.

I'd love to let ours explode into a blood-crazed frenzy the moment his does.

>>9098975
What are our current stats anyway?

>>9098977

Yes, this. Check on other maids before bed.

>>9098995
clearly we'll have to fake a miraculous recovery when (and if) we win the fight. On the bright side, we seem pretty good at bullshitting our way through things so far.

I'm currently re-reading last thread's details of the date. It is so. amazingly. D'AAAAWWWWW

also, are all threads archived?

>>9098995
can we just reticon this?
It had no affect on the plot and just came from some random troll post.
Nobody really wanted it.

>>9099010
+1

>>9099010
Fuck that, go research magic before bed.

>>9098961
The trap wants to be a real girl. I'm in the camp of simply helping her out for the sake of being nice about it. If it's possible to do so safely, that is.

Quite frankly, this anon is likely in the minority in that respect.

>>9098990
why don't we just let felicia in to begin with and then log the door

>>9099010
We haven't talked to our paladin maid or carmine pretty much since we first came back out of hell! We should fix this.

>>9099006

Funny you should ask: it's getting a bit late, so I'm going to wrap up this thread soon. Quest will continue at some point, probably not tomorrow: most likely either Sunday or Tuesday of next week.

Your current stats are:

60 XP
Athletics: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Affection: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Skill: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Cunning: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Luck: 1 -> 2 20 XP
Will: 2 -> 3 30 XP

RANDOM EVENT: 15 XP
RANDOM LOOT: 15 XP

>>9098945
You know what would raise his stress? Making out with his daughter once on the field of battle. Or otherwise making sure she WANTS us to best her father and gaining her assistance. And he won't always negate attacks anymore than we would try and weasel magic into not being a weapon.
But he's cunning 6 and knows our uncle. He damn well knows we're going to try and trick him somehow. If we do it well, then it will be acceptable. Especially if Sam is the one that helps us tilt things in our favor.

>>9099021

Yep.

>>9099021
Not sure. Somebody earlier was requesting an archive.

>>9098977
I agree. A quick maid visit is in order.

>>9099019
I'm sure we could just say we've become so man (and SCIENCE!) through beating him that disease just can't affect us anymore.

>>9099021
I think that's two threads ago.
Last thread was not D'AWWW.
More bow-chick-a-wow-wow.

>>9099030
She is a CAT NINJA. It doesn't matter where we put her, she'll go where she wants.

>>9099037

Could you be so kind and make a twitter account or something to keep us up to date when you plan to continue?

>>9099037
random event, random loot, and cunning.

>>9099047
>>9099033
>>9099010
You can visit two of your maids before you go to bed. Which ones?

>>9099037
level up luck and skill maybe?

>>9099037
I would say up Luck and Will.

>>9099070
CARMINE and then felicia to bring her to bed with us

>>9099075
yeah, that may be better

>>9099019
We've already died once, point is moot now.(I'm not even sure if we actually revived yet. We may just be a demon from hell now, especially considering that we woke up in physical form in hell.)

>>9099037
Luck and skill

>>9099037
We should upgrade our athletics and luck.

>>9099070

Kat and Sam

>>9099070
Jehanne and Alicia

Need to inform them of the contract being in effect at the least and they are our least interacted with.

>>9099055
Where did you get that from? Here type is Lolita / Lolita.

>>9099070
Alicia to try and get her to neutral.

Kat to get more dirt on Samantha. If we're going >>9099038's route we need to know her intricately.

>>9099079
Jehanne, then bring Koyomi to bed.
get to 2.5/3 schmexes.

>>9099070

Kat and Jehane.

>>9099070
Jehanne and Sister Carmine.

>>9099070

Carmine and Kyona (the scientist chick!)

luck and skill

>>9099070
Carmine and Jehanne

Also, you know we've technically already died once. We were perfectly correct about us dying soon when we said it then.
While we've suggested continuing it, we haven't outright said we're still about to die I don't think since returning from Hell. On a helicopter. Hmmm, we're not still all ghosty or anything, right? We can't go between walls if we concentrate or such?

>>9099121

Kyo went back to the university to get her SCIENCE equipment. She'll be back tomorrow.

>>9099115
This. Do 'er proper.

And introduce her to our own anal probe...

Kat first for intel, then Koyomi to see if she's interested in cuddling / maybe more sex for the night

>>9099148
she's not back yet?
where is she staying?

jehanne and FUCKING CARMINE

>>9099147
I bet we are the demons. The other mortal souls in hell were bodiless, we had a body there.

If our Scientist is Out Of Town, then Kat for intel and then Jehanne for... whatever.

>>9099147

This is true. We should ask Alicia how cosmological metaphysics work within the context of the physical soul.

>>9099183
the conditions protected us from demonic magic, remember?
We would have died once the will was up and we hadn't fucked 3 maids, but that doesn't matter now since we killed the demon.

>>9099202
It protected us from demons doing stuff to us, not from becoming one...

>>9099202
Also we already died.

Jehanne, to mention that dating between maid and butler isn't forbidden among our employees. Also, some training may be in order (we're going to need to draw from all our maids to eventually face Reginald, even if Sam makes the move on us and we just need to survive the fight in an acceptable way).
Then off to Kat, to mention you're making efforts to help out, but that you still haven't found anything near certain. Still, you're keeping her in mind. Make sure things are going well.

>>9099060
God, I fucking hate Twitter, but I guess you have a point.

maidquesttg

If you follow this twitter thing or whatever, all you'll get is, like, maybe me calling you a fucking pervert and telling you I'm gonna continue the fucking quest.

------
I'm getting Carmine and Jehanne. Confirm?

Op, you shouldn't end on thread 13. tis bad luck.

>>9099147

When you leave hell you get your body back at the gate. Like how prisons check your possessions at the door.

DUH.

>>9099237

AYE AYE CAP'N

>>9099233
Science won't work, we need to turn to magic for Kat. Let's start researching.

Jehanne - plant seeds of interest in Reginald, talk about training
Kat - tell her to keep an eye on other maids (especially Alicia and Koyomi), let her know we are trying to find a way to make her and true her

>>9099079
This.

>>9099237
>Twitter
>For a fucking porn quest

This is the saddest god damn thing that /tg/ has done so far.

STFU HATER TROLL DERP A HERP

>>9099237
confirm

>>9099271
STOP TRYING TO PAIR OFF MY PALADIN WAIFU WITH CAPTAIN PRICE.

>>9099246
Nope, else uncle would be running around raping our maids.

>>9099240
Don't worry about it, you superstitious fuck. It'll cancel out the fucking black cat I walked across yesterday.

>>9099273
You're fucking telling me.

>>9099237
what about Kyo
Isn't she back already?

>>9099273
No, the couple hundred write and roll monster girl fap threads are far, far, worse.

>>9099237

>>9099060 here
Thank you very much.

>>9099273
We didn't even get sex until what, like, Part 5? 6? 7?

If anything we've been on a lucky streak every since we got out of Hell. Felicia wanted our dick and then Koyomi wanted our dick.

You find Sister Carmine. She's pretty much incoherent.

"FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCK FUCKERS GOATFUCK!" she screams as she punches the sand with her power fists. You see that portions of the beach have been vitrified by the power fist strikes, leaving glassy knuckle prints in the sand.

>>9099299
these threads are both funny and well written
I'd say their low point is when we actually have sex...

>>9099273
Come on, every single touhou thread is a hundred times more pathetic than this.

>>9099037
Affection and Luck.

>>9099324
"WHAT'RE YOU FUCKING PISSED TO SHIT HELL ABOUT NOW YOU FUCKING MASSIVE SLUT COCKGOBBLER PIECE OF SHIT?!"

Can you tell us what the fuck we are, whether undead or demon? We NEVER actually revived.

>>9099324
who suggested Carmine?
worst maid ever.

>>9099324

ask if she ever calms down and give her a small smack on the ass.

or a huge, wind-up smack. whatever.

>>9099348
as if she would even notice with all that power armor and rage

>>9099324
We need this bitch to settle down somehow.

How do you cool off an Angry Marine?

>>9099324
"Hey. How's it going."

>>9099324
HEY BITCH, ANYTHING GOT YOU PARTICULARLY MOTHERFUCKING PISSED OFF?

>>9099324
Offer her a brew. Or whatever we can offer her, I guess.

Always Angry, All The Time! doesn't necessarily mean rage. A quiet, melancholy anger while sipping a cold one can also work on occasion.

>>9099324
I know of a good psychologist you should see. He can help you with anger management. Anyway, I need you to help me train in the future.

>>9099324

LET US KUNG-FU FIGHT!

>>9099362
Don't get too angry. Slaanesh will get you.

ORDER HER TO STOP BEING ANGRY

>>9099362
YOU DON'T FUCKHEAD
THEY JUST KEEP GETTING ANGRIER

>>9099385
Don't you mean Khorne...?

>>9099362
...drugs?

>>9099324

Ask her what the hell is wrong now.

If she's wearing powered armor, tell her she needs a new uniform.

If she isn't, >>9099348

tell her that her anger issues have no business existing now that she has proven half-eldar can punch demons in the face most righteously.

>>9099385
It's more of a righteous fury.
AND YOUR SAYING THAT MAKES ME ANGRY

>>9099347
I was planning to have her left in hell punching demons, but /tg/ wanted to go after her. :P

-----
>>9099368
>>9099374
>>9099365

Carmine sits down on a rock, glaring at the ocean. "I spent six fucking hours cleaning this damn beach then the tide brought in some more fucking goddamn seaweed," she snarls. "Fucking nigger cockbite ocean."

Looking up and down the beach, you realize that she hasn't just been cleaning the trash, she's been cleaning everything. The entire beach has been scoured of almost anything messy. Including every single living thing.

>>9099324
Ask her to pop the power armor and step out. Leave the angry behind in it.

Then we talk to her.

>>9099404
>>9099399
Slaanesh is basically the god of excess, and excessive anger, well...

>>9099420
Uh.

Carmine? Please don't purge the tourists.

Wait, hang on, aren't we supposed to be running a business at some point?

>>9099420
So, our beach is at 5/5 now, right?

>>9099432

It's a private beach. Damn straight she purges the tourists.

>>9099420
There's no need to be angry. You did a great job. Relax and enjoy the view. See how nice the beach looks now? A little seaweed is no big deal.

>>9099420
A beach is made of things besides sand. Seaweed and plants and animals are supposed to be here. Just garbage and stuff needs to be kept out.

>>9099420
Tell her that living things are fine, and should be left alone. Except for jellyfish, which should be carefully returned to the ocean to reduce the risk of anybody stepping on one and getting stung.

Consider introducing sea turtles to eat the jellyfish.

Also, have her stand down on the angry. She's Lofn, so angry probably isn't really where her true talents lie.

>>9099420

Here's an odd thing to do.

Pat her on her shoulder and say "Good job. Go ahead and head in for the night."

>>9099445
It's actually around the same. It's very clean, but also eerily quiet, like something out of Silent Hill.

>>9099453
>>9099412

"Look, just quit trying to fucking get in my fucking pants and tell me what you fucking fuckknocking want already, you cockbite," Carmine growls. She pops open a compartment in her glove and lights it up with her hand flamer's pilot light.

>>9099420
You know what:

Have her pop the armor. We'll go for a swim together. Let her splash around a bit, relax, start getting over her abandonment and inferiority issues...

>>9099484
lights up a cigar with her flamer :P sorry.

>>9099484

"Well, I really do want to get in your pants. But aside from that, just felt like we hadn't gotten to know each other much since we got out of hell. And...I wanted to see how the beach was doing."

>>9099484
Geez, just trying to help you relax. Anyway, I need you to help me train in the future. I have to beat Reginald and I have a long way to go.

>>9099487
right, like she's agree to that.
We should move onto visiting Koyomi.
Can we just ignore Carmine until we need her in a fight?

>>9099484
"Just checking in. You've done good. Head on in."

Have her instruct us in the ways of purging xenos and heretics.

>>9099484
"You to chill out, relax, enjoy things a bit more...

After all, you're a maid now. Not a Space Marine. Not a half-eldar. Not the Demon of Wrath. Just a girl, that happens to be a maid. So enjoy that. I'm not going to leave you behind, regardless of what you do. But I would like to see you a bit happier. A face like your deserves to have something that it can smile about."

>>9099484
We want you to settle the fuck down, you keep fucking breaking shit and causing problems.

>>9099484

"I want to learn how to unleash a tidal wave of homocidal face-fucking fury, and obliterize every niggerhumper in my path."

>>9099543

Last thread of the night.

Carmine is awesome simply for the comedic value of... well, herself.

Also, having a power-armor equipped personification of ultimate fury on one's side is useful.