>MUSKMELONS

I don't know what that is, so I'm picking that.

rolled 5 = 5

>DON’T let Minna find you
>Find Trude

oki

>>17846854
You're early planefag. Out of curiousity, could you tell me the leadership situation of the French Government-in-Exile? Petain, De Gaulle, Giraud, Darlan, of none of the above?

Also:
>Find out what the fuck is going on

We need to know how many more pilots are arriving, so we can know how much more booze we need to acquire.

>>17846854
We gotta find our crew and introduce them, it would be rude if we didn't. Plus I'm sure they'll be shocked as hell to see us.

OH WOW
FIRST TIME POSTING IN STRIKE WITCHES QUEST!!

OHMIGOD I THINK I'M GONNA PISS MYSELF WITH EXCITEMENT!

>MUSKMELONS

i have no idea what this is, but im guessing it'll be awesome

>>17846873

Muskmelons.

The delicious dewy taste of the best melon ever to grace the Earth. The luscious fruit of the middle east, the powerhouse of Latin American agricultural export economies. The savory, fantastic, varied muskmelon.

The war between men slowed their transit, and the Martians put an end to it. It has been years since you have tasted a muskmelon.

Of all their crimes, that one you can never, ever forgive. They try to kill you all the time, true, but nobody - from any planet - fucks with your muskmelons.

>>17846854
>Find your crewmates
>Try to find out what the fuck is going on

Find Minna. Take Minna and visit Trude.

The thing with Trude's sibling is still unresolved, and I think Minna could learn alot from how others deal with the potential of losing people they care about.

Plus, it would be good to have someone backing us up, and keeping us from saying anything dumb.

>Get drunk
>Get stash of aviators AND pants

>Be WHEELCHAIR CLAUS

>Don't let Minna find you.
>Find Crewmates

>>17846956
Are you saying muskmelons are more important than booze?

>>17846956
Those. Utter. BASTARDS.

>>17846956

Shit, I thought the crime we could never forgive them for was not liking/shooting up our booze.

Random poster from a previous thread:
>They hate our booze more than they hate our freedom
>And that’s why we fight.

>>17846956
SONS OF TENTACLED WHORES. THIS WILL NOT STAND.

>Try to find out what the fuck is going on

>>17846908
Concur, we bring Chuck, introduce, and see if crew know anything. Did we hear if they made it out alive following the encounter with robo-spider, prior to bouncing Minna?

Also, we gotta to Trude at some point here...

Beer with the new buddy, and invite the rest of your crew. You can all get introduced and caught up together. If some witches come along during, well that's how it is and no fucks need be given.

>>17846854
Find out what is going on, if we're going to be getting more male pilots (which means we need to work on the kill tally to stay top dog).
The let's find Trude and see if she's better now.

Have beer.

Don't let Minna find you.

Find Trude.

Eat delicious Muskmellons.

.get beer, introduce to crew. Slip away and find Trude.

Oh yeah, at one point we need to deliver all the aviators and pants. Wonder how that will turn out.

>>17847085

Everyone would probably accept, perhaps except minna.

Fuck yes strike witches quest.

Find crew, acquire booze

First order of business is drinking time, you and Chuck with your crew. Then the lot of them help giving out aviators and pants. Avoid drama as much as possible.

>>17847085
It will be almost as awesome as we are! (Nothing is quite as awesome as we are, but this would be close!)

>Out of curiousity, could you tell me the leadership situation of the French Government-in-Exile? Petain, De Gaulle, Giraud, Darlan, of none of the above?

De Gaulle is currently in Spain with the remnants of the French 7th and 9th armies, along with most of France's surviving armor support. They're the main reason the Iberian Peninsula is still mostly-free.

Darlan still lives, though he's mostly been discredited after most of the escaping French fleet defected - of their own accord, ship-by-ship - to the Allies in 1940. The Richelieu is currently in the Indian sea with a small battle-group, but they're two weeks late for a check-in and are feared lost. He's under Germany's wing, but not a man of much note anymore.

Giraud is the only man known to have been captured by the Martians and escaped to tell about it. Whatever he had to say on the matter is highly classified and not much discussed. Having proven rather inept with armor in the Battle of France, he redeemed himself by decimating the Martian drive on Paris at the beginning of the invasion, managing a devastating defense-in-depth with anti-tank gun screens and unusually swift movements of infantry.

Petain had a loud conversation about patriotism and national duty with an irate citizen during the chaos of the Martian invasion. Petain held forth resolutely, but the citizen's Luger proved a compelling and very, very final argument.

>andnothingofvaluewaslost.jpg

High Priority
>Crew
>Beer

Lower priority
>Trude
>Finding out what the fuck

On a semirelated note, what's the story with your OP pic, Planefag?

>eat delicious muskmellons
>give aviators and pants out
>drink booze
>kill alien scum
this is the ideal i think.

>>17846991

The best thing is, drinking booze OUT of muskmelons. Best be sitting down when you try THAT, lemme tell ya.

>>17846854
Don't let Minna find you until we have acquired a delicious muskmelon to share.

Because nobody can stay angry when they have a slice of muskmelon in front of them, and a happy Minna is... well, I don't know if we've actually seen a happy Minna yet, so it should at the very least be an educational experience.

OOC, I find it amusing that apparently in the actual show Minna is the nice one and Sakamoto is the hardass.

>>17847131
It's the actual Yeager. The one that flew the plane in world war 2.

>>17847131
Those are two Chuck Yeagers standing side by side.

>>17847128
Now just tell me that Douglas MacArthur and Mark Clark both died horrible deaths and I will be a happy, happy man.

On behalf of any britfags here, you can also dispose of that Percival fucker.

>>17847148
Sakamoto is probably still a hardass, but not to us - we're proven badasses, after all - but to the younger witches like Miyafuji.

As for Minna, the lady from Japan said it - we have her all fucked up.

>>17847128
Ah, thanks. Abrial is amongst the French fleet, I take it?

>inb4 noone cares about a random French Admiral

>>17847143
Wrong. The best thing is drinking booze OUT of muskmelons, when the booze was MADE from muskmelons.

>>17847188
We must do this. Immediately.

>>17847177
This isn't the kind of wish fulfillment I expected to see in here. But I approve of it.

start a noisy IM NOT DEAD party in the lounge

>>17847203
Well, first we need Charlotte to get us in touch with the engineering crew on base, since they're the ones who're most likely to have built the inevitable still.

Then we can get on with brewing our Yeagermeister.

>other?
So here's what we do.
We divide the Russians into two groups.
The first group sets out to the arctic circle or some other VERY COLD VERY ICY sea region and starts building a giant cannon.
The other group goes more south and builds a bunch of smaller cannons that can be set up in a nifty circle. Once they finish they should head down to the Indian Ocean and make a massive facility that can house thousands and thousands of missiles.

Then we will be ready to deal with the Martian menace.

>>17847224
But not with Chuck still in tow, we don't want to get in the way of THAT.

Fuck it, I want to go and talk to Trude.


>Find Trude

>>17847188
This must be done with all haste!

From the last thread:

"Calling it now, Chuck will do something that'll make our MC EXTREMELY jealous of him."

"He'll NTR us with Minna.

Oh, the fucking rage that will bring."

You're not getting any funny ideas, are you planefag?

>>17847226
But can we fit all of the Russians in a B-52?

You know what Eila needs to have as a weapon?

She needs to wield Simo Hayha in battle.

>>17847165
>>17847153
I should have guessed it was something like that.
Have a reaction image.

>>17847241
I hope so. Pair Chuck off with with Crazy McPsychobitch, and we dash off with femChuck.

>>17847241
>NTR
Explain what that means, if you would?

>>17847241
stop reminding him fool.

stop trying to get rid of us having any chances of friends or bro's you jackass.

>>17847241

You mean that wasn't the intent?

You have us and Chuck, two troublemakers cut from the same cloth.

Theres too much overlap. There can only be one in the end.

You and Chuck visit the kitchen and liberate a healthy sum of beer. Chuck goes to open his, but you stay his hand. "Hold up, I'd like you to meet my flight crew."

"Crew? What do you fly?"

"Black Widow."

Sudden comprehension dawns on Chuck's face, and you see him re-evaluate you. The predatory glint of the combat pilot comes into his eye. "You're the guy that just made ace-in-a-day."

"Ayup."

"So did I."

Oh, really now. How interesting.

"Yeah, I had one to my credit before that, though. Some tosser trying to shoot up a Fortress with half her engines out."

You nod sagely. "I corked a rocket bomb the other day. Personally. My gunner did for a Firebee or two, I think - we're not sure yet."

Six-to-six. Your eyes lock on each others, and a dangerous tension passes between them.

IT'S ON.

>>17847259
cuckold.

>>17847265

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER~!

>>17847259
netorare > cuckolding, waifu-stealing.

Not seeing it happening though, for the same reasons Minna flipped out at us.

>>17847250
Simo Hayha = Gnome?

brb quick dinner

>>17847259
It stands for...Neotare? Netorare? Something like that. It's basically the fetish of your significant other cheating on you.

>>17847250

COMMENCE FUNDING.

>>17847265
>There can only be one in the end.

Yep.

>>17847274
RUN TO PLANE! IMMEDIATELY BEGIN SHOOTING DOWN ALIENS!

>>17847259
You know those h-manga where it show two people in a loving relationship then old men mindbreak the girlfriend in front of the boyfriend?

>>17847274
EYE TO EYE WITH CHUCK MOTHERFUCKING YEAGER.

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS.

>>17847250

Judging by how Eila's oneesan Aurora was upgraded to a canon witch (despite her RL counterpart never flying a plane or driving a tank), it's more than possible that Sini Häyhä is a witch too.

>>17847259
Japanese slang for cuckolding.

Why people here feel compelled to use it instead of cuckold I do not know.

>>17847274

oh god yes

>>17847226

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIZFABon-BE

If we're going that far, we should also invest in that magically Russian technology that lets them invade all of Europe at once. And have all of these blessed by the Orthodox Church.

>"So did I."

>Oh, really now. How interesting.

He said this the moment we met him, so we already knew. I thought we mentioned that as well.

Anyways DISREGARD BUTTHURT, ACQUIRE FRIENDLY RIVALRY

>>17847312

Saves four letters. Time is money.

>>17847274
BEER PONG CHALLENGE NOW!!!!!

>Put on Danger Zone just for shits
>Check /tg/ for anything interesting
>Strike Witches quest

Well shit.

>>17847274
>it's on
Will we now have a balls-to-the-wall manly and crazy as fuck competition during a furball to see who can bag the most kills?

I will laugh if Charlotte outdoes both of us.

I found the most AMERICA strike witch

bonus points, dalmatian waifu

>>17847350
Don't worry, she will.

>>17847257
I'd actually be fine with going with that girl.
She's busty, which is a huge plus.

>>17847365
Considering she already probably has more than the two of us combined, I think that's a given.

Only slightly late, most excellent.

>>17847329
if we do beer pong, it must be done on our plane's wing

>>17847387
And she clearly wants our bratwurst.

>>17847416
Not like shes alone in that

>Other things to do

>Aquire/steal/borrow dagger/gladius

Those goddamn martians seems quite immune to our pistol.

Again, no, Shirley is too dangerous for us. Remember she suspects us being gnomes and we're taking that little secret to the grave.

Gah. The hell!

You started on time for once! Now I'm late!

>>17847392
I think that's something that a lot of us, and admittedly the MC as well, forgets.
Most of these girls have triple or more kills than us.
If we want them to actually respect us then we need to shoot down more Martians.

>>17847431

That just means we need a bigger gun.

>>17847257
>>17847387
>>17847416

This is acceptable.

>>17847311
I'm now imagining a Finnish girl wearing a lot of white lace and not much else using a Moisin-Nagant to kill things in orbit.

>>17847443
>we need to shoot down more Martians.
The problem is that said Martians have a much easier time shooting down our plane than we have shooting them. Let's not get in over our heads.

>>17847432
Actually I think she's liable to keep that secret if she works it out, she's nor stupid and would know what revealing it would mean for us.

>>17847470

MORE MARTIANS!

>>17847448

Something hopefully, man-portable.

>>17847454
>Sniper Witches.

I am not...oppose to this idea.

>>17847470

oh really? but i seem to recall 5 dead martians and no dead us.

>>17847486
We need to carry a large caliber gun and a big ass knife at all times

>>17847274

COMPETE IN GROUND KILLS

GLOCKNADEEEE

>>17847416
That too, yes.
Busty + wanting us, good combo right there.

>>17847487

Already have one.

>>17847494
And I seem to recall hundreds of dead men and a majority of Martians being killed by Witches.

We're lucky, yes, but pushing it too far is liable to result in BAD END.

>>17847486

Ignore American guns, acquire Obrez

>>17847479

but shes also a woman and the whole 'witches are uniquely female' thing is a big part of keeping women outta the kitchen in this version of the witches 'verse. Its a political matter that touches very directly upon her life. her reaction is unpredictable at best.

>>17847510
We've got our crew for that.

>>17847324

But now you're repeating it for effect. It's The Challenge.

>2012
>not knowing how to plane-peen

I seriously hope you don't do this.

>>17847517
How the fuck is she.... is that a Handle on the stock?

That must hurt her wrists like fuck when she fires it

>>17847510
Our 1911 is already a good pistol. I agree with carrying a combat knife at all times though.

You know, this sounds like we're giving a fuck. Perhaps recent events have shown that the attitude should only be partaken of in moderation, lest you wind up dead?

>>17847548
They need to carry their own as well. I think every damn person on the base does.

>>17847549

He's Dangerous planefag, he can be our wingman, anytime.


Just as soon as we play some vollyball, in the tightest shorts known to humanity.


No homo.
Honest.

>>17847550

Witches have ridiculous strength when they wear their strikers. I vaguely recall it taking three grown men to carry her gun in the anime.

>>17847541

But again, she wants us. Bad. And is incredibly laid back, so not as likely to flip out about it.

>>17847586
It's a Boys Anti-Tank Rifle. Normally, they're fired using a bipod.

>>17847550
>How the fuck is she.... is that a Handle on the stock?
>That must hurt her wrists like fuck when she fires i
Dude, she's a witch. She can do what she wants.

>>17847581
YES~! WE MUST DO THIS!

>>17847599
And besides shes too damn sharp not to notice. Let's be careful that she doesn't make us stick around an area with multiple ticking clocks or any equivalent.

>>17847567

NGAF when concerned with matters of life and death is suicidally stupid.

MC would probably know better

>>17847581
do it.

See if we can't cause Every witch on base to break out in nosebleeds

>>17847623

It might be beneficial to see if we can co-opt her. She's too sharp for us to hide it from her for very long, and we're pretty sure she's attracted to us, or at the very least actually likes us. She might be a useful ally in keeping anybody else from knowing.

>>17847274

Before you two can do anything more then exchange The Look, someone enters the kitchen at a brisk pace, greatcloat flapping. You both turn to see Erwin Rommel striding about quickly, examining the room swiftly. His eyes light on the refrigerator, and he nods sagely. "If you gentlemen would assist me," he says, opening the refrigerator.

"Sure, Field Marshall," you say politely. "But with... what?"

Rommel calmly begins removing the shelves in the refrigerator, and handing them to you and Chuck. You both look at him in bewilderment.

"Under the table should do it," he says tersely, moving swiftly and with purpose. You and Chuck exchange wary glances, but you get on with it. Soon the refrigerator is emptied, the contents stashed underneath the table. Thus decimated, you note it's a particularly large refrigerator, the kind used in large mess hall kitchens - which this is, you suppose.

"Thank you, gentlemen," he says, nodding to each of you in turn. You and Chuck just take your beer and silently remove from the room.

"What the fuck?" Chuck asks.

"You'll get used to it," you reply.

"Was that... Rommel?"

"Yes."

"What the hell is going on?"

>>17847630
See, that's what I and another anon were saying a couple threads ago in the face of other Anton's going "NGAF all day erry day! Even if it harms us!"

As good as we are, if we really acted like that Sean an Ian would probably have dumped our retarded ass by now.

>shirley
>keep secrets

OK so, witch tally:

JAPAN: Miyafuji saved our bacon, we need to get the little squirt candies or something. Sakamoto is Sakabroto, 'nuff said.
BRITAIN: I think we've only talked to Lynette like, once.
FRANCE: The Bitch from Gaul! IMO, less annoying than when we started, though.
ITALY: Goddammit, Zucchini.
USA: Yeagertits is hot, bro, and could potentially blow our gnome cover something fierce. WARNING
RUSSIA: Sanya is going to summon Yog-Sototh in our faces one day, I just know it.
FINLAND: Eila. The Troll is strong within her.
GERMANY: Oh boy. We have a SITUATION with Minna, Trude hopefully doesn't want to murder us anymore and Erica--- you know, I think we've also only talked to her once.

>>17847623
>Implying that Chuck isn't a Gnome

>>17847680
>lack of wat do
Eagerly awaiting next post. This needs an explanation.

>>17847668
>She might be a useful ally in keeping anybody else from knowing.
At least she can help to explain away any mechanical oddities that result from our gnomish ways.

>>17847680
Is Rommel still running from Patton? Or setting him up for an ambush?

>>17847680

inb4 Patton runs in screaming and Rommel hides in the fridge.

>>17847680
>Patton's face when he goes to make a sandwich

>>17847680
...if what I think is going on is going on, we need to get the fuck out of here post haste. We don't want to be anywhere in the same building.

ESCAPE

>>17847680
Rommel sometimes comes round and hide in our fridge. What? Doesn't MacArther do that to you?

>>17847716
Rommel's just being his usual magnificent bastardy self, is all.

>>17847680

Stop putting martian bodies in the fridge. How are we supposed to keep beers cold when the fridge is full of martians?

>>17847680
>Rommel hiding in a fridge

Oh dear god my sides

>>17847668
Are you suggesting we tell her? That's a terrible idea.
We will never bring up the gnome buisiness. If she suspects and confronts us we can still feign ignorance, male witches don't exist after all, everyone knows that.

>>17847731

...Keeping them in the martians?

>>17847719
inb4 rommel is rorschach

Less running, more hiding. I want to know what goes down, but not get caught up in it.

>>17847740
Keep her on our side, and if she learns we'll just have to trust her. No letting the beans spill without need.

>>17847680

LIGHTER

BLACKMAIL ROMMEL FOR HIS LIGHTER, LEST WE TELL PATTON

>Inb4 Rommel ambushes Patton

>>17847762
Patton would punch us out of the wheelchair if we tattled on Rommel. THIS IS PERSONAL.

>>17847680

You rub your head miserably as you roll along in your wheelchair. "The ground crew told me the brass are planning something, something big. A counter-offensive or something."

"That'd make sense," Chuck says, thinking. "And Castle Barin is about the most secure location on the planet, besides the other combined-wing operations."

"I've expected them to do it at Edinburgh," you muse. "The stronghold there is even older, the wards are still pretty nasty and its, you know, further away from the Continent."

"As if it matters one fucking bit," Chuck says, and you both go silent, musing on that one.

"Objective?" Chuck asks, after a minute.

"Who the hell knows," you reply. "Haven't seen any Russkies about, so I doubt they're trying to link up with the Balkans again."

"I hear Monty is still pushing hard for that," Chuck replies. "Well, scuttlebutt says, you know. Still..."

You shrug in silent agreement. The Polish Witch Corps is one of the oldest and most experienced on earth, but the chances of them breaking out of the Balkan Pocket with the rest of the Polish army-in-exile is pretty slim.

>>17847479

That and the fact she can try to blackmail us to make her strikers EVEN FASTER in exchange for keeping our secret...

>>17847740

Of course you don't come straight out and tell her. What are you crazy? subtlety is the word of the day.

>>17847526
>Ignore American guns, break hand
ftfy

whats with the nugget love in this thread, its like im really on /k/

>>17847791
Why would we even want to subtly imply it? No one must know.

>>17847783
I don't think our effects are permanent like that. We'd only be able to speed up a striker if the witch using it was carrying us.

>>17847779
We're in the English Channel, right? Maybe we're going to push back towards France.

>>17847783
This is a bad thing? Better combat efficiency plus girl that isn't trying to kill us at all?

>>17847816

D-Day

OHHHBOYYY

>>17847816
Ohboyohboyohboy.

>>17847833

>>17847815

>>17847816
In strike witches tv that was the plan, to retake the mainland since there is a massive hive over northern france, so if we do that, we can retake Europe, and slowly start the liberation of Earth.

>>17847779

After twenty minutes of fruitless rolling about fail to turn up your crew, you accept Chuck's invitation to go eyefuck his aircraft, and he yours. Upon entering the hangar, you spot people climbing about your Black Widow almost immediately. Most of the damage has been repaired, and it looks like they're servicing the guns. One man is busy checking the turret .50s.

"Ayo," the man says in an Aussie accent. "Yer radioman's playing with 'is tubes or summat."

Indeed he is. You find Ian standing under the rear nacelle, scowling up into the open access hatch, where you see Sean fiddling with his equipment.

"Sup," you say.

Sean nearly strips the rungs off his ladder coming down it. "Fucking idiot! You've got a hole through your middle!" he cries. "What the hell are you doing out of bed?"

You look down at your belly.

"I got b-"

Ian hoists a wrench menacingly.

"Okay, okay. Miyafuji did her mojo."

Quest Themes

I'm a Pilot - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__s4OMTVyhI
Dangerzone - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPz1Mqr0zQI

>>17847878
"How the fuck do you do too, assholes. Also, meet new challenger--- FELLOW PILOT."

>>17847812

Controlled exposure is better in the long run. Total secrecy is better short term, but when it does inevitably come out, we could be well and truly fucked. Besides, even if hinting to Charlotte does backfire, we're currently still locked in the protective glow of recent heroics. They can't touch us. *cue Hammertime music*

wild ramblings inbound

chuck is also a gnome, shirley knows knows but keeps it secret.
thats why she was so suspicious and interrogated us.
because she has seen her brother pull the same shit.

>>17847878
And by 'Did her Mojo' I mean 'I got better'. Also! Fellow pilot!

>>17847878

"Who's this?" Sean says, looking at Chuck.

"Chuck Yeager. 8th. Or, I was. Just mustered in."

Sean blinks. "Yeager?"

"Yep!" he grins. "Brother."

"Isn't this a barrel of fucking monkeys," Sean says disgustedly, collapsing onto a nearby ammo crate.

"What? What's the problem?" you ask, trying to hand Ian a beer. "I'm alive, we've got somebody here who knows all the best ways to annoy Charlotte - er, Shirley, and also I'm fucking ALIVE!"

"Haven't you heard the news?" Ian asks you.

"Sorry, it's so hard to pay attention when you're unconscious," you snap.

"That's right. Christ," Ian says, rubbing at his eyes. "Man... Hugh Dowding is dead."

>>17847878
>tseandere modo activated

>>17847930
D: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

That guy kept the RAF together during the German air invasion...

>>17847930

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

>>17847930
fuck.

>>17847930

FUCK

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If Bomber Harris is still alive we are FUCKED.

>>17847930

>Hugh Dowding Dead
>Air Chief Marshall Dead

>Malleroy is vice
>MALLEROY IS AIR CHIEF MARSHALL

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>17847930
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

>>17847930
>"Man... Hugh Dowding is dead."
Well that's not good.

>>17847930
Well that's not good

>>17847930
ALIUMS!

>>17847930

>"Man... Hugh Dowding is dead."
So I take it this is where history takes a turn for the worst? Fuck. Raise a glass to him, and speculate who is going to take over command for the RAF

>bad at history
>very bad at history
>like, inexplicably bad
So who's this Hugh Dowding fellow?

>>17847955
OH DOUBLEFUCK!

thats less than ideal.

>>17847986
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Dowding#Battle_of_Britain

>Dowding was known for his humility and intense sincerity.[8] Fighter Command pilots came to characterise Dowding as one who cared for his men and had their best interests at heart. Dowding often referred to his "dear fighter boys" as his "chicks". Indeed his son Derek was one of them: He was a pilot in 74 Squadron. Because of his brilliant detailed preparation of Britain's air defences for the German assault, and his prudent management of his resources during the battle, Dowding is today generally given the credit for Britain's victory in the Battle of Britain.

Let's hope it was aliums and not... something else.

>>17847930
Oh boy, SWQuest!

>Hugh Dowding is dead
Why? Just why?

>>17847930

You and Chuck both recoil at that. "Wha- what!? How?"

"Those... we're calling them tele-bots, at the moment. Like the ones that almost ganked us. There were more of them at the major airbases the Martians hit a few days ago, including the Parliament buildings and such. Bodyguards managed their business in most cases, but-"

"Fucking sweet Jesus FUCK," you snarl. "And who's up now?"

"Malleroy."

"FUCK!" you exclaim.

Chuck is looking confused. "Did I miss something?"

"Malleroy is a massive asshole," you explain. "And he's very good at political dickery. I don't understand British politicking, I just know a backstabbing bastard when I see 'im."

"He's not that bad," Ian counters. "Seems to know his business."

"Unless you disagree with 'im," Sean mutters. "We were stationed with the 442nd at EastChurch, got to hear the limey's bitch about 'im all the time."

The four of you mill about in silence, slowly addressing the beer. The death of the hero of the Battle of Britain is a sobering thing, and sober isn't what any of you want right now.

>>17847930
>Hugh Dowding
Raise a beer for this man

>>17848020
Fuck, I knew the killerbots would succeed SOMEWHERE.

>>17848020
We have a new liver. We should fix that.

>>17848020

>Called it

FUUU, wish I was wrong.

We didn't just piss off god's adjunctant, we've now pissed off god.

>>17848020
Clearly, the man needs a military memorial service.

In an unused room in the basement.

With more beer than a ruskie can handle.

>>17848020
Just for reference, it's Mallory.

>>17847128
Speaking of this, planefag, when you have time - what of the other countries? Are the Nazis still in power in Germany? Is Mussolini calling the shots for Italy? What about Japan? Shit, who is the American president?

>>17848012
So I see. Very unfortunate.

>>17848098
Nazis got ball-kicked, but I think Speers got out. Not sure about anyone else.

>>17848020

"It gets worse," Ian says after a minute.

Sean nodded. "I was mucking with the radios, so I happened to overhear a short-range VHF communication between Sutton Farm and somebody on a portable, probably up in the tallest tower of the Castle."

"What 'bout?" you say, drawing on your beer.

"Trude's sister has vanished."

You choke on the fucking beer. "What? What the fuck do you mean?"

"They dug out the room her hospital bed was in. She wasn't in the room. Bed still had her imprint on it and everything."

You consider the mode of communication and come to the obvious conclusion. "They haven't told Trude, have they?"

"And neither should we," Ian says softly.

"Miyafuji basically regenerated my liver," you say, "and in my opinion a new liver is like a new gun."

"Need to break it in?" Ian asks, plopping down on an ammo crate.

"Ayup."

You fish out another beer and pop it open by applying it to the frame of your wheelchair in a creative fashion. "So what were you dicking around with the radio equipment for?"

>>17848098
Well, he explained that Hitler is dead, so even if the Nazi Party still exists, it's been reduced in craziness.
As for Japan/Fuso, Yamamoto had enough of the Army High Command's crazy, and couched his arguments that they step down in the form of a full broadside from the Yamato's main cannons.

>>17848128
i'd laugh my ass off if speer is head of germany because hes the only humane one of the entire damn bunch...

>>17848146
In fact, Udet fought his way out of Berlin with Speer in the backseat of a Me-110.

>>17848136
Oh sweet fuck...

>>17848136
She's gonna be sent back as an alium assassin. Calling it now.

>>17848146
Get laughing, kid.

>>17848136
>trudes sister is missing, not dead: just missing
welp, sounds like alium rape time.

>>17848136
Son of ten fucks. If the Martians got to her... but how would they know?
>>17848143
That's good, Yamamoto seemed like an alright guy.

>>17848136
>Chris disappeared
>not telling Trude
Aw fuck. The Martians got her, didn't they?
And I feel bad for not telling Trude.

Point Bomber Harris at Mallory, hopefully they'll kill each other and the RAF can find a COMPETENT replacement for Dowding.

Maybe have the Fleet Air Arm do it? They certainly have good reasons to want to personally strangle the command staff of the RAF.

>>17848136
awwww, shit...

>>17848136

>MFW

I'm pretty much assuming SW!Yamamoto to be the way he was in Zipang, am I wrong?

>>17848098

Since USA seems to be mostly like OTL, I assume FDR is still God King at this point, unless its 44, also is the Bomb being designed, because with no Japan, there is only one clear target for Super to be used..

>>17848136
>not telling her that her sister is missing and not dead

Why?

>>17848098
Possibly-RoboStalin's still running Russia, I think. Most of the relevant world background is at the end of thread 2:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17567390/

I really hope that Goering died with Berlin, because the idea of his running the airforce in a world where that airforce includes a large number of attractive teenage girls without pants is a horrible one.

Also, still hoping for confirmation on the agonizing demises of certain douchebags.

>>17848136
we should probably tell sakabroto, because she might not know and may have a different perspective on it.

>>17848203
Because she would punch us in the dick?

>>17848136
How crazy is the idea of a rescue mission? I mean, finding out where they could have possibly taken her...

>>17848182
There are certain things that you don't tell someone who is already angry at you and can make the front of your skull come out the back.

>>17848182
It's not our place to tell. It should be from her friend and commanding officer, not somebody who heard it third hand.

Besides, do we REALLY want to right in front of her if she decides to go Muhammed Ali again?

>>17848203
she went psycho on us when she found out the hospital was hit.

Imagine how she'll react to the news that ALIEN ABDUCTION MISSION happened to her sister?

>>17848098

Hitler was asploded. Stalin was badly wounded, but lives on - possibly with magitech robotics, nobody's quite sure. Neither of them liked their inability to control the national Witch Corps with terror and secret police, and so had almost all of them forward deployed in BumFuck Nowhere. Witches were the only forces to really respond well during the opening "decapitation strikes" of the Martian invasion, since they need little in the way of numbers, supply, organization or preparation to be a formidable fighting force (unlike, say, a ship with half its crew on liberty in port.)

In point of fact, Albert Speer is current head of Germany, and he was evacuated from Berlin by Ernest Udet in a Bf-110. Udet is currently commanding his own squadron, flying in combat, and happier then a pig in shit.

>>17848218
>>17848228

While it certainly isn't good news, its better than just assuming your sister is dead, I would think.

>>17848203
Because of what Martians have been rumored to do to the humans they capture.

>>17848216
Yeah, I'm kind of agreeing with you. She knows Trude a hell of a lot more than we do. Minna would be best, though, from a purely 'Trude-Experience' context.

>>17848136
Tell Minna about Chris, assuming she hasn't already heard. Ask her for her advice on what we should do about telling Trude, if anything.

After all, she knows the Witches better than we do, plus she's their CO.

>>17848203
Because she might come to terms with her being dead, but would go bugfuck crazy if she knew that Chris might be alive but missing and probably in danger?

>>17848221
XCOM casualty rate if we do this.

calling it now

>>17848237
well, that makes my day completely and utterly.
Speer germany=best germany.

>>17848237
>Robo
>Stalin

Oh yes

>>17848201
They might still be building the bomb to be used on Neuroi targets, such as the hives or something similar.

>>17847922

That makes a scary amount of sense. If we assume that to be true, then those other guys might be right and dropping yeagertits some hints might be helpful.

>>17848240

It really means that siscon is going to fly out and murder everything on the france coastline until she gets shot down.

>>17848182
If we tell her then she explodes on us again because it's our fault that her sister is being raped and dissected by Phyrex-err, Martians.

It's not our job to tell her.

>>17848212

Let me quote from the .doc file I wrote up the alternate timeline in:

>German night bombers accidentally plaster Coventy. Churchill, the brand-new Prime Minister of Britain, has Berlin bombed in retaliation. Hitler, in a frothing rage, orders the RAF Bomber Command be “vaporized.” Goering, unable to reach Bomber Command’s inland airbases with the short range of his fighter escorts and unwilling to launch unescorted strikes after the heavy losses of the prior weeks, is considering the wisdom of asking the Furher for permission to retaliate against London instead. Ernest Udet, ignorant of politics and Goerings predicament between an impossible demand and displeasing Hitler, sarcastically suggests Goering fake photos of destroyed British bombers. To his utter shock, Goering adopts the idea happily and hammers bomber-capable airfields within German escort range, then takes credit for RAF Bomber Command’s “retreat” to inland air-fields. When this actually works, Udet begins drinking heavily.

And yes. Goering is so fucking dead it's not funny.

>>17848240
>Little sister taken alive by the Martians
>as opposed to merely killed by them

Dude, picture the Martians as the Dark Eldar in this situation. In both cases, the person in question is almost certainly dead (or heading that way). The former implies a SHITTON more suffering along the way.

>>17848265

hey maybe this random assertion is true
lets risk our wings and our lives to find out, with no potential gain!

>>17848247
Yeah, Minna should know. It may also help us with her by giving us something serious to talk about besides the SITUATION or kill count dickery.

>>17848240
While I'd be happy, it's still not our place. Probably need to talk to Minna about it,

>>17848247
It's not our place to mention it, ans it is extremly presumptuous to even assume it is. We would probably just end up pudding off minna I'd we asked her

>>17848260
No, best Germany would be run by Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck. Who lived until 1964 IRL, so I wouldn't be surprised if he came back to the colors to fight against aliums (as opposed to fighting for Nazis).

so many people died....

We need to keep a logbook of everyone we need to kill a martian for.

and charge a high interest rate

>>17848281
Hahahahahaha oh fucking wow.

I think you also have some notes on what the aliums are, too? Mind posting them later, if they're not too spoilery?

>>17848281

>Udet begins drinking heavily

Only one I'd trust with this is Sakamoto

minna hangs out in the towers

the signal was to a portable in the towers

minna knows you dullards.

>>17848302
>caring what Minna thinks of us
But Trude is clearly the superior waifu.

>>17848263
>hives
Well, we have roughly two weeks before they start deploying laser units after we start dopping bombs. Then we upgrade to TSFs.

>>17848285
>>17848269
>>17848300

What do the martians do to prisoners, anyways?

Should tell Minna at least, maybe let her break the news somehow.

>>17848330
Point.

>>17848263
In this timeline, we might go for The Big One style of mass producing Super and deploying it with super-heavy escort at every hive, that way we can rush them and produce boundary space between major settled regions and the battlefield. Their technology does not seem to be that much more advanced, and Super should even the odds on the planet.

>>17848337
see
>>17847128
Only one guy has lived to tell about it and it's classified Darker Than Black.

>>17848337

I'm expecting the Martians to do similar things to prisoners as another kind of aliens in one certain, post apocapyptic mecha vn

>>17848285


They're probably going to try and research their own 'Witches', especially seeing how effective they've been thus far against them, and who better to research on in lieu of a real one, than the unconcious sister of a witch?

>>17848337

I suspect she already knows. To the top of the tower? She likely took it from there.

Perhaps we should confirm it with her that she knows, though.

>>17848281

Can we have access to the contents of this .doc at some point in the proceedings?

Have there been any cases of rescues of abductees?

>>17848365
But that begs the question - how do they know she's Trude's sister? Maybe there's some sort of magical radiation they can pick up. Or worse, maybe they have spies in the British government.

>>17848337
They probably take the prisoners apart, find out how they work.

>>17848354
Starting a WMD fight with an enemy that can probably decide to start dropping rocks from orbit with impunity is not something that will end well for us.

>>17848388
>spies in the british Government

Dude, how exactly are you going to hide a huge, tentacled monstros-

oh god, THEY CAN MAKE CYLONS

>>17848386
Exactly one. Henri Giraud. >>17847128

And whatever happened to him is classified so deep that you need to be part of the Illuminati to read it.

So if Patton's on the island, did he bring his tank girls with him?

>>17848136

"Sanya was doing the hover-thing because she was picking up Martian communication broadcasts in her sleep," Ian explained. "The others said the flying thing was kind of like sleepwalking."

You snort, and shake your head as Ian briefly summarizes the events for Chuck. "C'mon, the can fly unaided?"

"How do you think they used broomsticks, dink?" Sean says. "Broomsticks are like a staff, or a wand - a physical focus. Can't hold a candle to an actual engine, of course, but still."

"So that's why you called them tele-bots," you say, musing.

"Yeah. The spiders are mechanical, but the rubbery ones..." Ian shrugs. "The eggheads have no fucking clue. Keep on saying things like 'nanopipes' and 'artificial silk fibers' and such."

"Thing is, they haven't subsided," Sean says, pointing up at his radio station, in the Widow. "I don't think anybody here has realized yet, but there's still a shitload of traffic. It's not quite discernible on regular sets; I had to fuck around a lot till I could pick it up."

You mutter darkly. "Well, we'd better tell the brass. Lemme pop up to the dorms and get dressed, and we'll go."

"You mean our dorms, don't cha?" the Aussie engineer drawls.

"What?"

"Didn't you hear? All your things were moved into rooms in our side 'o the castle an hour ago."

>How does this make you feel?

>>17848404
The implications are VERY ugly.

>>17848388

they probably dont care that shes trudes sister specifically. just detect magic-->lol shes a witch and defenseless grab it.

>>17848386
>Have there been any cases of rescues of abductees?
Read >>17847128
Only one man has ever been successfully recovered from the Martians.

>>17848373

That's the idea, yep! I just need to finally finish the damn thing. Haven't quite finished writing up to Black Tuesday, when the Martians actually show up.

>>17848414
Change into official uniform, i.e. NO PANTS.

Until Minna orders us to put them on

>>17848404

This may prove to be a problem, if true.

>>17848414

So?

We'll crash any bed we need if we're really dead tired.

>>17848414

our view of the sea!

this is unacceptable!

>>17848414
>how does sticking you with lowly ground crew feel
>pic fucking related

>>17848414
"I won't be choked to death by random Gaul bitches? FUCK. YES."

>>17848414
>pilots
>living with ground crew

Beneath us

>>17848414
Oour stuff has been moved? IT BEGINS.

>How does this make you feel?

>putting an officer with pig disgusting enlisted

I AM FRUSTRATE

>>17848414

Well. At least we're less likely to get raped.

>>17848410
Damn, thanks. Dunno how I read over that bit.

>>17848439
This. That's when we give pants to everyone else.

>>17848414

Zero fucks, we've almost died, told one of the big names in our forces has died and replaced with a schmuck and that one hostile witch now has reason to go Full Perrine on our asses. Where we sleep should be of little consiquence compared to all that.

>>17848453
This. Oh god this.

>>17848414
Too goddamn worn out to care. We came back from the dead to find that the world went considerably more to shit in our absence.

That said, make note to officially protest at a later date being lodged with enlisted men.

>>17848414
THEY STUCK US WITH THE FUCKING GROUND CREW?!

No offense.

Fuck it, sleep in the plane. be ready for a scramble at any time

>>17848414
FFUCJKJAHGING MINNA!

WE DO NOT BUNK WITH THE FUCKING MACHNICS, WE ARE PILOTS! DRAG THAT SHIT BACK TO OUR GOD DAMN BED!

>>17848414
Minnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

>>17848414
>implying we arn't gods made flesh
>implying we arn't wizards
FUCK YOUR SHIT MINNA, STOP BEING AN ASSHAT!

>>17848414
We're a pilot, damnit! Not groundcrew slobs!

>>17848414
>How does this make you feel?
Feels like we're just gonna have to move everything right back.

>>17848414
>How does this make you feel?
Makes me feel like sarcastically asking our commander if there's going to be a male wing commander as well, and if we're going to be getting our own bathing facilities. Hey, maybe we can even get another castle built right next door, to really drive the segregation home!

>>17848414

>MINNA'S PAD

FORGE ORDERS CANCELLING MOVE

>>17848487
FORGE ORDERS MOVING US T HER BEDROOM

POST ORDERS IN MESS HALL

WE NEED PROPER ROOMS THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. I mean sure if they want us more to one end or something thats fine, but with ground crews? HELL NAW.

>>17848487
lulz, epic troll time, activate.

>>17848365

>>17848263
In this timeline, we might go for The Big One style of mass producing Super and deploying it with super-heavy escort at every hive, that way we can rush them and produce boundary space between major settled regions and the battlefield. Their technology does not seem to be that much more advanced, and Super should even the odds on the planet.

Also, Neuroi Witches? Because, Neuroi Witches time

ITT: bitch being a bitch. move along, nothing to see just business as usual.

>move everything into Minna's room
>move her stuff in with Hartmann's piles

Problem?

>>17848487
>FORGE ORDERS MOVING ALL GIRLS THERE AS WELL

>>17848487
YES. WE MUST MAKE USE OF OUR ARTIFACTS.
Supporting this wholeheartedly.

>>17848449

Don't be an ass. The ground crew are bros and there's no better place to be in an attack. Those guys can fight!

>>17848414
We're all night flyers, basically?

We move our shit back while the Witches are on day patrol, preferably into their rooms (on the "one occupant asleep, one on patrol" principle).

Just to troll, we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Shirley's. Ours in... hmm, Erica's I think. She appreciates a good joke.

>>17848466

"Why do you own an apartment if you always sleep in the office?"
"So I'm never late to work."

Why complain when we can just sleep in the plane. It's better than home. Or a bed. Plus sleep is for the weak and the (very) drunk, and we're not drunk yet.

>>17848506

Neuroi Witch always reminds me of Chie.

Create Box fort in the enlisted men's Quarters.

Label it FORT GIVE NO FUCKS

In crayon, write NO GIRLS ALLOWED

>>17848486
>segregation

...blackface time?

>>17848426

Though if this happened when the spiderbots went nuts, then they can't have moved her very far. As we know there have been a number of alien craft shot down in allied territory, now we know on purpose to distribute these things. We can only assume they have had enough oppertunity to sneak in actual resources enough to make a functioning foward base, after all if they managed to get in here, then a spot in the British countryside should be easy. However until they can fly out of there with our presumed captive witch we should be good. Though I doubt it would be long before they came in for a pickup.

>>17848542

"NO MINNAS ALLOWED"

>>17848542
"No Witches Aloud"
Add a black and white Maltese cross and we're good

>>17848524
>Don't be an ass.
The way some of us have been playing the MC, we're a bigger asshole than Minna is a bitch.
Only reason people put up with us is because at least we're willing to put our money where our mouth is and are good enough to back it up.

But no, no offense to the groundcrew, but this is a matter of pilot's pride.

>>17848466
Seems the most reasonable response here.
Needs more arrogance

>>17848542
Do this in front of Minna's door.

>>17848439
we need pants to protect our dangly parts from slicy alium spiders
Shirts, however....

>>17848542

>>17848529
>Just to troll, we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Lucchini's. Ours in... hmm, Shirley's I think. She appreciates a good joke.

This is a good plan.

>>17848542

>>17848542
>>17848572
Also, Forge a new contraband List and post it in a public space.

list should include "Giving Fucks, pants, Shirts, Cheap liquor, Minna's pocketwatch"

>>17848524
I don't care how big of bros they are. We have principles, goddamnit!

And for that matter, they probably don't want pilots actually living there either.

...time to get the engineers to do petty but incredibly annoying bullshit (broken coffee machines, baths blocked off and cold showers only, etc.) until this is fixed.

>>17848548

ohboyherewego.

But that reminds me, are the Tuskegee red tails or Patton's Panthers active in this timeline? Because if they are we need to roll these guys in for extra high badass concentrations.

>Support sleeping in the plane or hanger

>>17848542
This. It has to be this.

Leave some cheap porn in Minna's room

>>17848602
>patton's panthers
Oh god thanks for reminding me I need to read that book again

>>17848474
>>17848469
>>17848467
>>17848466
>>17848464
>>17848463
>>17848462
>>17848460
>>17848459
>>17848458
>>17848457
>>17848453
>>17848452
>>17848449
>>17848448

Chuck turns to you, face pale.

"They... they didn't."

"We're going to sleep with... with the ENLISTED," you breathe, horrified.

"Ah, cry more, you wankers," the Aussie retorts from atop his turret. "We're gonna have to sleep near OFFICERS." He makes the sign of the cross hastily before going back to the guns.

Ian takes a deep breath, and steadies himself. "So. Did you know Perrine hasn't seen that picture in the paper yet?"

"Oh," Sean says, "most of the Witches think you're hovering near death, still. Minna's kept her trap shut - miracles do happen - and they sent a man down here to tell us not an hour ago that you survived your second... mojo session with Miyafuji," he tells you. "Charlotte was here. But the rest of 'em..." he shrugs.

You stroke your chin. "Okay, how do we exploit this for maximum chaos?"

>>17848610
I second this as well.

"So I don't get lodging as a pilot? Fuck you then, I'll sleep in my plane."

>>17848591
Do eet

Pilots CANNOT stay with ground crew

They'll kill each other.

WITH OUR PLANE, WE SHALL STAY.

>...time to get the engineers to do petty but incredibly annoying bullshit (broken coffee machines, baths blocked off and cold showers only, etc.) until this is fixed.
>we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Shirley's

Column A, Column B

>>17848621

>Oh, sorry. WAT DO?
>Any trolling you've been meaning to get to - DO IT NOW.

PLANEFAG, WE ARE STILL BUILDING THE NO GIRLS ALLOWED FORT

Anyways, Don a white sheet, wear nothing underneath it, and "Haunt" the lounge

>>17848621
We must become the ghost of pants. Our spirit demands these little girls wear pants so that we may pass on.

>>17848621

disguise ourselves as a ghost by cutting eyeholes out of a sheet and putting it on.

roll around the hallways going woooOOOoooOOooOOOOoooooo as loud as we can.

>Write FORGED ORDERS on MINNA'S PAD

Come on. We have it for a reason.

>>17848617

Oh dude I read that book. That's how I know they're fucking badasses (or that they even exist).

>>17848621

So it begins.

>>17848621
>You stroke your chin. "Okay, how do we exploit this for maximum chaos?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
EXCELLENT!

anyways we should probably start forging orders on minna notepad and start screwing with people and let them continue to think you are all kinds of fucked up.

>>17848621
FAKE OUR OWN DEATH! FUNERAL AT SEA, INVITE EVERYONE!

>>17848621
First, use GNOMENESS to fuck with SHOWERS AND BATHING.

Second, get back to medical and continue to be dead. On the third day, rise from the grave.

Can we combine trolling with both protesting our treatment and giving out the pants and shades somehow?

>>17848644
Pretend to be a ghost!

We need kilts.

>You stroke your chin. "Okay, how do we exploit this for maximum chaos?"

MAXIMUM CHAOS!!!

>>17848621
First of all:

>put on AVIATOR GLASSES
>perform GENDO POSE

This requires TACTICAL TROLLING ACTION.

What would be the best use of our newspaper clipping? Maybe we should frame it.

>>17848644
>we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Shirley's
>Construct fort
>Pretend to be dead
>Take panties, leave only trousers.

>>17848650
>>17848665

I like these plans.

>>17848669
WE ARE THE GHOST OF PANTS PAST, DOOMED TO FOREVER ROAM THE BASE UNTIL EITHER EVERYONE IS WEARING PANTS OR NO ONE IS WEARING PANTS

Can we walk yet?
If so.
>Apply white sheet
>Aviators
>Flight jacket
>Haunt the castle

get ian and sean to invite everyone to a memorial service for us. get a casket but keep it closed. halfway through roll up in the wheelchar "he, hey sorry im late" and start trying to climb into the casket.

>>17848683
Use NEWSPAPER with NOTEPAD. Acquire Minna's Note On French Bitches Sexuality

>>17848661
This would be hillarious

>>17848704

THIS! OH MAN! THIS!

>>17848644
GUYS, GUYS.

>Any trolling you've been meaning to get to - DO IT NOW.

SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL. LAST CHANCE FOR UNABASHED COMEDY.

>>17848683
Enlarge it, build Billboard.

>>17848690
>>17848704

COMBINE! We go around pretending we're a ghost and, just when everyone is fucking sick of it have Ian do this.

>>17848685
This, all of this.

Just add false orders and memos

>write love letter to Sakamoto on Minna's pad addressed from Minna
>attach picture and add note about how frenchie is a floozy
>leave somewhere frenchie will find it

???

Profit

Minna knows we're alive, that would ruin any funeral trolling plans.

UNLESS... we show up and claim the service is not for us - it's for Hugh Dowding. People serious the fuck up, and we can deliver some stealth trolling for Minna, since she was a part of the Blitz.

Hmm, need to co-op charlotte and Miyafuji into the plan.

Get them to distract Minna, say its' a surprise or something and get her away and arrive later.

Use the pad and word of mouth, say MC passed away and his will said to be buried at sea asap. He to be dropped from his plane into the sea.

Load craft with PANTS and a pair of aviators stuffed into their pockets each.

As the P-61 flies overhead, dump the pants on them.

>suggestions of faking our funeral
I'm pretty sure Minna will kill the fun by just telling everybody.

>>17848739
Nah, man. Using Dowding like that goes from trolling to tasteless douchebaggery.

Whatever we do, we should remember to give the witches their pants and aviators.

>>17848744
I like this plan. Lets do it.

>>17848739

Dude what.

What.

No.

Just...

No.

>>17848738
YES! We must do this.

>>17848739
How can she? Ian comes in teary-eyed, we're in the medical, what is she gonna do? 'No, the witches will not honor his sacrifice.

>>17848744
Yeah, this sounds better than my idea.

Wear sheet and pretend to be ghost. Put Aviators on over sheet.

>>17848738
>>17848744

These two. One is simple enough to be fun. One is complicated enough to be MAGNIFICENT.

>>17848744

THIS, oh yes, this!

the whole funeral thing seems unworkably complex and genuinely dickish.

BECOME GHOST PILOT

LEAVE ORDER FOR WITCHES TO ROOM WITH ENLISTED MEN

???

PROFIT

Also, find frenchy.
Ask her to sign the newspaper before we get it framed.

Anything involving funeral trolling is going to backfire spectacularly

>>17848744
Trude might take this very wrong, though ("you think it's fucking FUNNY to joke with death, asshole?") But we can solve that by using the pad to order the witches to stand in formation to receive some random dignitary - like, uh, a Mssr. T. Rouser.

Then we fly over, dump the pants on them, then land and give them the aviators before they punch us back into the hospital bed.

Post newspaper in mess hall and outside Minna's office

Chuck snaps his fingers. "Lets go Tom Swift on them!"

Ian looks at him blankly.

"Uh... Tom Sawyer?"

"... oh," Ian says. "But he already tipped his hand. Can't exactly have a funeral for a man who's been seen rolling around, quite alive."

"Oh, really?" Sean says, sniggering wickedly. "Only Minna and Charlotte know. Minna's too busy with the brass to actually show up in the kitchen for meals. It's almost lunchtime."

"I can take care of Shirley," Chuck says confidently. "If... she doesn't take care of me, first," he says cautiously, looking about the hangar.

You huddle closer, laying your plans with precision and gleeful malice. The Aussie groundcrewman listens in so intently he almost falls amongst you, at which point you badger him for the aid of his mates, which he grants immediately. Filthy officers treading around in their hallowed, poorly-supervised living quarters is hardly to be tolerated, after all.

You roll away to find a nice, quiet corner to sleep the day away in, until tonight, when the real action begins. But before that, there's... lunch. That's a repast you'll want to witness.

And you know just where to hide.

With regards to the funeral, Charlotte has probably already told the others.

>>117848833
you have a point there, hadn't considered that.

>>17848826
>>17848833


YUP

TOO LATE

>>17848854
Can't be the fridge, Rommel's already in there.

>>17848854
HIDDEN MOVEMENT.jpg

You know, their command structure isn't quite as rigid as ours. Crucify Minna with public opinion.

See all the witches.
Look very tired.
Mention that you're ready to scramble since you were just released.
Mention that even though you were just released Minna transferred to the other side of the base.
imply heavily that you had to move all your shit yourself.

>>17848872
>>17848854

Welp

>>17848872
*sigh*

I swear to fucking GOD, we act like we're fucking autistic.

>>17848872

Oh dear.

>>17848796
>GHOST PILOT
"Never know what hit 'em."

>>17848872
Do we give any fucks?

NO!

>>17848872
Well, when it does go wrong, we can (in-character) blame the idea on Chuck.

>>17848872
PLANEFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG

>Lord coselys
MAY LORD COSELYS WATCH OVER OUR TROLLING ASSES

>>17848872
lol.


well shit, they can just have the funeral again right after they kill us.

>>17848872
When all of this goes terribly pear-shaped and we get punched again, I hope you all keep in mind that being a pilot doesn't protect you from the warranted and righteous retribution for our assholish behavior.

With that said, I can't wait to see how badly this goes.

>>17848872

>>17848854

Well this is going to end as a spectacular distaster.

>>17848872

BUCKLE IN. IT'S TIME FOR MAXIMUM OVERTROLL.

>>17848904
Hey, I was pushing for non-funeral trolling too. But this is going to be fucking hilarious.

Oh boy.

This won't end well.

>>17848872

Well then. If this is going down, this is going down with as much STYLE as any human or gnome has ever STYLED before.

bracing for 'find work in depression era america' quest.

oh god this is going to be terrible

>>17848913
Forgot your pic.

>>17848854

Planefag, which plan are you going with?

>>17848854

You poke your head up above the ficus, scan the hallway, and duck down again as footsteps echo down the stone-floored corridor.

As unusually well-equipped with random suits of armor, ancient weapons and decorative ficus plants Castle Barin may be, you still had to get Sean to drag four or five of the fuckers together in a clump to shield you AND your wheelchair. It's rather obvious-looking, but everybody seems pretty preoccupied with the tense meetings between ranking generals, the death of Dowding, and, you know, the war.

Which is probably why you and yours are putting so much effort into pranking the Witches - the alternative is to go insane with fear and loathing, and that shit just doesn't fly outside of Vegas.

At long last, the coast is clear, and you gun the wheelchair, zooming out from your makeshift blind, around the corner, and into the kitchen. Hoisting yourself onto the counter, you collapse your chair and ram it in between the fridge and the counter, then with your strong arms, pop open the refrigerator and sling yourself inside.

>>17848939

probably writing his own 'fake funeral' scenario.

>>17848898
Remember, if we slow down, the laws of probability of chance will stop being shocked at our audacity ans burn us. We can never stop, only become a legend.

>>17848933

Thank you kind sir. My image library is poorly organized.

>>17848941
So it begins.

>>17848941

Oh god the fridge.

>>17848924
Nah, they'll just hand us a broom and reassignment orders to some hole in hell that we will spend the rest of our days cleaning, assuming we don't find a jail cell at the end of all of this. Good times await us, gentlemen.

>son washmen
ooh, Captcha threw in its bets with me eh?

rolled 1 = 1

>>17848872
Rolling to perceive all the reasons why this is a horrible horrible idea doomed to end in flames.

TG DICE DON'T FAIL ME NOW

Hey, have they invented those disguise glasses with the fake eyebrows and mustaches yet?

Show up wearing one of those

well then

>>17848941
>the fridge
ROMMEL.
HE CAN SEE THE FUTURE.
ROMMEL CONFIRMED FOR GNOME.

>>17848973

Hahahaha

>>17848941
>Trapped in a fridge with Rommel

This is going to get really weird really fast.

>>17848973
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1
>1

>>17848973
This is a good sign

>>17848973

ahahaha OH FUCK

>>17848973
FUCK YOU TG DICE

FUCK YOU

>>17848963
>>17848964
>>17848941

Wait. Rommel cleared out that fridge for a reason. How can he hide in it if we're there?

Alternatively, it's LUNCHTIME. People are going to be opening that fridge for FOOD. Unless we're going to be the fridge ghost, this is a pretty bad plan.