>>9201289
Give Kat air, resurface for air, continue attack.

KEEP FUCKING STABBING, KISS OF LIFE KAT

>>9201289

GIVE HER AIR!

ALSO, KILL THAT FUCKING TENTACLE!

>>9201313
>>9201314
>>9201316
No.
No.
No.

GRAB KATHERINE, SAY XYZZY

FUCK, IT SHOULD WORK

>>9201289

Grab her mouth, insert air, resume hacking.

>>9201313
>>9201314
>>9201316
continue attack: Yes.
KEEP FUCKING STABBING: Yes.
KILL THAT FUCKING TENTACLE: Yes.
The other stuff you wrote: ... Dude, gaaaaaaaaaay.

SEVER TENTACLE
SAVE TRAPMAID
SPEND XP FOR IT IF WE MUST

>>9201328

Fuck you.

This is our trapmaid. We're gonna save her, fuck her, turn her into a girl, fuck her again, and then knock her up.

>>9201316
>>9201314
>>9201313

> 8
As it continues to drag Katherine under, you manage to grab on, put your mouth over "hers," and then exhale into "her" lungs. Maybe it will help.

You swim back up to the surface and then dive back under again.

Katherine rolls a second Drowning Save: 2+ this time thanks to your heroics!

> 6

1 / 3

Action?

>>9201328
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

Sexy trap is sexy. Also she's damn well near dead.

>>9201289
Kat needs air. Provide that.

>>9201337
No.
Hacking is fine. Kissing a man is not.

>>9201334
You need to be holding the rod for that to work, bro.

>>9201289
Give Kat our air, complete with Kiss. Try and catch tentacle against a wall or otherwise wedge us against going down further as we continue to hack at tentacle.
Experience expenditure to help out? Say a point or two to raise our die roll?

>>9201328
YES, YOU RAGING IDIOT!
life or death > homophobia

>>9201351

Continue attempts to free her.

>>9201351
GRAPPLE CHECK ON TENTACLE. we have a light weapon (Knife) we get bonuses!

>>9201360
Balls aren't touching. It's fine.

Also, she's a sexy redheaded tsundere trap. So it's quadruple fine.

>>9201351
Action: lose 5 sanity. Can't believe you went through with that.

>>9201357
Gay fag is homo.

>>9201351

Concentrate on the thinnest section of tentacle we can, at least that doesn't risk stabbing her too much in the process.

>>9201383
>>9201379
>>9201374
>>9201369
>>9201363

Here comes the check

> 15 vs 18

It will require 3 XP to boost your roll to the level you will need to free Katherine right now.

Do it or not?

>>9201366
Death of a TRAP, bro.
Life or Death of a non-homobait > Homophobia > Homobait.

>>9201407
DO IT. BURN 4 FOR GOOD MEASURE

>>9201383
>>9201397

So you wouldn't preform CPR on a dying man?

>>9201407
Voting yes.

>>9201397
>>9201383

Sure is retarded in here. You must think Paramedics and Pool-Lifesavers are all hard gay, too.

>>9201351
Carve a hole into the creature with the knife. Rip and tear flesh with our teeth.

>>9201407
I say it's worth it. anything to stop this faggy gay yaoi fantasy /tg/ seems to have developed a huge homosexual hardon for.

>>9201407
Do it. Katherine is worth far more than 3 XP.

>>9201407

BURN 5, MAKE IT AWESOME. AND SOMEHOW REGENERATE HER PANTIES SO JEHANNE DOESN'T FIND OUT ABOUT KAT'S TRAP STATUS.

>>9201407
>>9201418
BURN 5!!

>>9201407

Hell Yes.

rolled 8 = 8

FIGHT DAMMIT

FIGHT

PUNCH IT WITH OUR FAPPING ARM

>>9201419
D'uh, of course not. No point being gay.
>>9201429
Not paramedics. But pool lifesavers yes, they're all hard gay.

>>9201433
lol

>>9201379
He has a penis. It is thus not fine.

>>9201453
Asshole Troll is an Asshole.

I am in favor of burning as many points as necessary.

>>9201462
She still has a hole. She is cute. Therefore, she is fuckable.

Ignore Chris-chan, were going after her.

Yes to spending points

>>9201407
Burn 5. We want to look heroic and badass to our beloved trap.

>>9201435

BURN 5!!! DOOOO EEEET

>>9201435
>>9201438
Just burn 3, unless you'd rather spend the other 2 xp levelling up Gay.

>>9201419
Ignore the homophobes. They'll come out of the closet when they get comfortable with their sexuality.

>>9201407
>Do it or not?
DOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEET!

>>9201427
>>9201418
>>9201431

. . .

When you come to, you are lying on the beach, outside of a very large cave. Your head is in Jehanne's lap as she bathes your face in cool water.

"Did. . . did I?"

"You did," she says. "You saved Katherine."

You spit bits of tentacle out of your mouth as you look around you. You see her curled up against the cave wall, hugging herself tightly. "Hi there," she says.

"Hi," you say. Doesn't seem to be much more to say.

Later that night, the local news will report a weird occurance: a giant squid washed up on the shore of the beach about a half mile down. It will have been found to have suffered several knife stabs, including one particular vicious one through the eye, which killed it. The most curious part, however, is that one of the tentacles will have been found to be missing, chewed through apparently by human teeth.

But that's in the future. For later.

>>9201481
Fuckable for people who are Gay and enjoy having sex with Men who have Penises.
>>9201484
Lol beloved trap. Faggometer reaching critical levels in here.

sure is homophobic in here tonight.

air =/= balls touching, so as far as i can tell its fine.

>>9201488
>Ignore the homophobes. They'll come out of the closet when they get comfortable with their sexuality.

I was wondering if anyone else would notice.

>>9201499
You gained a level in BI-CURIOUS!
*final fantasy level up music*

>chewed through apparently by human teeth.
I feel manlier by proxy.

All right, actions? Explore cave further, head back home?

>>9201407
Come on Goshujin-sama, try Xyzzy!

I mean, if something from Colossal Cave Adventure doesn't work in a text adventure dungeon crawl, what hope is left in the world?

Otherwise, I go with
>KILL TENTACLE MONSTER
>"WHAT WITH?"
>BARE HANDS

>>9201499
Hug Kat, apologize profusely for everything.

Give her the day off. She can rest in our bed if need be.

>>9201488
Fags wish homophobes were fags 'cause fags are lonely and faggy.

>>9201503

For someone who isn't attracted to men, you sure are saying fag and mentioning penises a lot.

Now then, back to the mansion. Did we ever tell Kat about the possibility of a genderswap?

>>9201499

So, yeah. we need to carefully explain away why we threw her at it. Something along the lines of "We figured it would be an easy kill if we managed to occupy it's tentacles/attention."

Also stress heavily that it did not go according to keikaku. Not at all.

>>9201533
seconded, also nuzzle up with Jehanne after too

>>9201529
I think we've had enough cave exploration for one day. Let's give Kat some trousers and head home.

>>9201524
pretty fucking manly, bro.

>>9201499
give kat a huge hug, apologize profusely for your plan failing. we need to cook her dinner. or order her a case of booze. or both. whatever.

>>9201529
As far as I'm concerned you can go fuck yourself, but whatever.

>>9201529
check on Kat
keep exploring if she's ok, otherwise go back and chill with her

rolled 6 = 6

>>9201503

>>9201529
Apologize to Kat. Continue exploring unless she wants to go home after this due to horrible trauma.

>>9201535
You know, Genderswap is looking more and more urgent. <.<

>>9201529

This
>>9201540

Then head back for now. I think that's enough excitement and near-death experiences for one day.

ACTUALLY! GIVE KAT OUR TROUSERS TO MAKE UP FOR IT!

>>9201529

Head home. Seduce Kat.

>>9201533
>>9201545
>>9201540

"I'm sorry," you say lamely. "I thought it was a good plan. I. . . well. . ."

> Cunning roll: 4 vs 18

. . . burn more XP or move on?

>>9201529
Apologize to Kat about throwing her to it.

Explain to her our reasoning (that it was a tentacle monster, that it would leave her alone when it noticed she was male, that it could be killed then, and that we were still panicking when we thought that was a good idea).

Then promise to take her shopping on her first trip after she becomes a real girl.

And promise to pay for everything, and wait for her while she tries stuff on.

give Kat our trousers to wear, then move on. with a hard on of course

>>9201571

What happens if it stays as is?

>>9201576
Respond with >>9201571

Use Affection or something, not Cunning. We're not trying to bullshit here, we honestly did fuck up and want to apologize.

We're going to need a LONG shower.
With LOTS of toothpaste. And an industrial strength toothbrush.

>>9201571
Burn more.

>>9201580
we only have our bathrobe
... give her that

rolled 8 = 8

>>9201571
wow, that would be a big hit...

i think we should just hope 'threw you at a monster' gets canceled out by 'fought like a demon to save your life'

Apologize to Kat and explain that it did not go according to plan at all. We thought the creature was much, much smaller than it actually was.

>>9201554
Hey, I gotta go with the majority.

Even if that includes things like masturbating into the faces of random women first thing in the morning.

*****
>>9201586
If it stays as is. . . you'll lose a Faction Level with Katherine. At the moment, it's at Warm. It'll drop down to Neutral.

>>9201576
Aah the nine most dangerous words in the english language.

'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'

>>9201568
WE DO NOT HAVE TROUSERS.
WE HAVE BATHROBE.
GIVE BATHROBE TO KAT Y/N?

>>9201571

no matter what falls our of our collective stupid mouth (thanks for the sweet rolls, DM :P) she'll know we didn't mean to hurt her. but i'm game to burn a little xp if it helps.

>>9201571

Yes. We need Kat on side.

"I should probably stop coming up with the plans in a combat situation, shouldn't I?"

(Also, I want to shank those fuckers who thought throwing Kat at it was a good idea. Probably the homophobe squad, actually.)

>>9201610

Burn XP. But why cunning?

>>9201600
Lmfao you wanna burn 14 XP on lying to a maid who isn't even useful.
Yeah, No. Veto that shit and just move on.

>>9201612
Give Kat our bathrobe. Carry on... naked. and aroused. ALSO
RELOAD THE .22. and Rehide it.

>>9201571
How much experience? One per each were off from the target roll? If so then it's just too high, we need experience in order to level up our skills if we ever hope to defeat Reginald. The trap doesn't compare to legs.

In favor of burning more xp.

>>9201610
This is acceptable.
It sure as fuck isn't worth 14 motherfucking XP.

>>9201610
Burn XP, offer our robe.

Take her back to the mansion, apologizing, and give her the day off.

>>9201571

We have a fuckton of XP according to the original post. It's worth it.

>>9201600
>>9201620
>>9201628
>>9201634
>>9201641
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
...
don't waste 14xp on the trap.

>>9201620
I'd actually wager it's the people who want to screw the trap. Would a homophobe really want to have to read a description of a trap (man) be sodomized by a tentacle creature?

You sigh. "Look," you say. "I'm sorry. I thought it would work out better than it did. I had no idea it would be as big as it was, so I figured that maybe if it focused on you, maybe Jehane and I could. . ."

"It's all right," Katherine says. "But if it's all right with you, I'm going to take the rest of the day off, sir." She slowly gets to her feet and starts to totter down the beach.

You notice, by the way, that the cave is part of the cliffside under your home, and leads to the beach. You're not sure why you didn't notice it before now: probably because the cave wall hides it from view unless you know what you're looking for, at low tide.

Jehanne shakes her head. "With all due respect, my liege, I believe we may have angered our friend Katherine."

"Right," you mutter.

>>9201645
Yes. Let me give you a hint.
Level 3 of an ability: 30XP. A permanent bonus. Affects all rolls by 1.
repairing this one roll: 14XP. A one time bonus. Affects only 1 maid, to only one relationship level.

>>9201630
>>9201640
She's useful in that she gives us useful "Getting into other girl's pants" info.

Also, if it really comes down to it, the Will doesn't say the maid we sleep with has to be female. A trap is fine, too.

>>9201661
Honestly, I'd consider it preferable. The tentacle thing is of an unknown sex, after all.

*sighs* also, it's not 14 XP. the XP burn would be 8 points.

>>9201662
sigh and look for comfort with Jehanne. CUDDLE LEADS TO NUZZLE LEADS TO SEX ON BEACH

How much XP do we have?

>>9201662

Spend the rest of day with Katherine. If possible, go shopping for clothes with her. BUT FIRST, we need to tell her about the possible genderswap.

>>9201673
Speaking of this, we should probably invest some of our XP in stat bonuses. Now. I don't know what we were thinking, leaving ourselves sitting on 65 XP at thread start.

>>9201630
Most of us don't feel the need to horribly traumatize the maid further, and hope to do right by them. Well, eventually. And for an odd definition of right.
And if you want useful, Kat is the one who notices things and is our observer. Alicia may be better at it, but Kat is on our side at least.
Eh, go ahead and burn a few points. We deserve a faction kick-back at this point, but I'd rather help her before she decides to run away.
Either way, provide modesty to retain Kat's seeming as a girl.

>>9201685
7 points too many, imo.

>>9201610
Burn the XP. Cover the minor faux pas of nearly sacrificing her to a horrible death with comforting words and tactically-placed acts of tsundere.

>>9201662
Looks like we didn't burn the XP...

Curse self for our stupidity, and go back to the mansion. I think we're done spelunking for today.

>>9201662

"I think this even tops my former low point of getting my head bitten off and your armour eaten in the same combat."

>>9201685
...
In future let's never take the trap with us anywhere ever again until Plot drops from the sky and makes him a girl.
Deal?

>>9201662
Actually, since we're here, inquire with Jehanne about her new deity.

It wasn't worth the XP. Besides, we can't even go the Kat route without all the homophobes crying.

We need 1.5 more sexings. Going for a full clear is foolish.

We need to do some serious bromancing. We need to find the cheat codes for Kat.

>>9201724
Sounds like a smashing idea.

You currently have 70 XP in addition to gains for this adventure and spending to rescue Katherine earlier.

Also, I'd like to ask the homophobes to please pipe down or in retaliation I'll give every single girl in this goddamn Quest a dick. I get it. You don't like the Katherine storyline, but some other people seem to enjoy it. I don't get this kind of whining from the other plots. Fuck, even the Angry Marine gets less derp than this.

In fact, I should have made Katherine the Angel of Rage instead of Carmine, given the amount of drama she's managed to cause.

>>9201732

If the will requires it to be both a maid AND female, Kat will be at least .5

>>9201724
<.<
>.>
¯\(°_o)/¯

>>9201742
>I'll give every single girl in this goddamn Quest a dick.

I am somehow okay with this.

>>9201742

Can you give everyone dicks anyways? Everything is better when everyone has tits AND a dick.

>>9201742
>give every single girl in this goddamn Quest a dick.
OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST

>>9201742
Cuddle, and nuzzle with Jehanne. look for comfort!

ALSO. when we get back, give Kat double pay for today.

> 3+ Saving throw vs Threadcrapping
> 5

I continue.

So there you are laying in the cave with your head in Jehanne's lap, watching Katherine walk away. What do you do now?

>>9201742

Okay. And let's go beat our heads against a wall in frustration at our stupidity later, too.

>>9201742

70XP? fuck I thought we only had something like 20-30

I say burn it and retcon so Kat is good on us again.

>>9201742
I'd give my vote to retconning to burning the exp

otherwise say >>9201715 and keep exploring with Jehanne

>>9201776

Punch ourself in the face for being a moron.

>>9201776
see
>>9201770
(aka cuddle, possibly get sex, go home)

>>9201757
>>9201756
Please don't. That's what makes Kat, um... special.

>>9201742
Let's go back to the mansion, talking to Jehanne about her new patron diety.

I'm just tired of people thinking it's a good idea to randomly throw our maids into danger for profit without thinking of the outcomes. The first time we did it with Samantha and the aliens, now Katherine and the tentacles. Then there's the faking a serious illness deal, which by the way was also retarded.

>>9201776
Inquire about Deity. We did give her that book to look through last night, after all.

>>9201776

See
>>9201692

>>9201770
Brilliant! Solve all our problems by throwing more money at her; she has previously demonstrated a significant sense of greed. Add in kind words to make it seem like less of an obvious bribe.

>>9201803
Indeed. Our maids are our most valuable resource; pissing them off by beign a moron is only going to screw us over. And not in the 'gets-us-the-inheritance' way.

>>9201765
>>9201794
>>9201780

"Jehanne?" you say softly. "I'd like to be left alone."

"All right, my liege." She stands up and helps you to your feet. "Will you be all right?"

"I believe I will be." You give her a kiss on the cheek as she walks away. There's a lot to be said between you two, but that will wait for a later time.

You take a walk back into the cave and lean your head against the wall silently. The wall moves.

You look up. It is, in fact, not a wall.

>>9201776
Use >>9201576 with Katherine.

Roll based on Affection, not Cunning, because this one's honest emotion.

Spend as much XP as we have to to make it work.

XP is replaceable. The feelings of our maids are not.

>>9201744
The will just implies a maid, and if nothing else, there are rules for male maids. Kat should count.
That demonic contract that was mentioned is a different matter, but I don't remember a time limit on that one either.

We have to make it up to Kat. Definitely gets the day off to recuperate. Throw ourselves into more foolhardy exploration? Because I imagine we're a bit dejected at this point too.

Also, make plans to destroy that corpse later on. Massive bonfire maybe?

>>9201742
New maid roster:
Samantha, son of Reginald. (DEVOTED)
Katherine, the red-headed trapmaid. (Warm)
Felicia, the catboy acquired in hell. (Warm) (Sexed)
Alicia, the demon shota. (Hostile)
CARMINE, THE FUCKING ANGRY TRAPMARINE (ANGRY)
Jehanne, the Trapadin. (Warm) (LOVE)
[some jap name] the Shota Scientist. (Neutral)
Reginald, your personal Butler. (DEVOTED)

>>9201742

can we level athleticism at least once? our rolls for attacking consistently suck donkey ballsack. or hell, at least luck.

>>9201841

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

GET SOME! GET SOME! GET SOME!

FPF! CALL IN ARTILLERY!

>>9201841
EXAMINE CLOSELY

>>9201841

Roll to not facepalm ourselves for this stupid, fucked-up day.

>>9201841
Oh cock.

Turn to the wall and say "Hello" in as weak and pathetic a voice as you can muster.

>>9201853
>>9201860

It seems your uncle used to own a yacht. An extremely HUGE yacht, in fact. And he kept it in a dock in the cave. It's still in good condition, although it might need some work to be truly seaworthy.

YOU GOT MANSION UPGRADE: YACHT.

>>9201853

...Nice ...boat?

>>9201742

I would like this quest a lot more if both sides could stop screaming "let's save her because she has a penis" or "let's not save him because he has a penis".
Thank you.

I vote "Retcon this entire day".

>>9201853
We found a NICE BOAT then? Might find some way to use that to help, but I doubt we're up for a cruise just yet. Still, take a look.

>>9201881

Can anybody stop us while we're on it?

>>9201895
No, they can't. Because you're on a boat, motherfucker.

>>9201886
Actually going to second this. All in favor of using a Retcon Punch on this day, say Ham.

>>9201885
This just leads to the next argument: "Give less people penises vs. Give more people penises".

>>9201881
Great. Level our ATHLETICS and our CUNNING using available XP, please.

>>9201881

Well, that's not too bad. Take a look inside it, maybe curl up on the bed in it for a bit.

>>9201881

Nice. I just hope our quest doesn't END with a nice boat.


Go see Kat. Discuss genderswap, go clothes shopping.

>>9201904
Fuck it, Ham.

We need to visit some other maids. Alicia, for instance. Let's see what she's up to.

>>9201910
He's already genderswapped. What else is there to discuss? I doubt he wants to resume acting like a guy, so matter resolved with 0 effort. Success!

>>9201910
we should perhaps give her a little time to cool off

maybe send Felicia (our most cuddly maid) to keep her company

>>9201892
You manage to climb up into the yacht and look around. It's pretty damn huge. In addition to your cabin, it's got rooms for at least a dozen other people, a full kitchen, a bar, and a craps table. It looks like something a James Bond Villain would own. The Master Cabin even has a heart-shaped bed and a jacuzzi. In short. . . yes, a Nice Boat Indeed.

We're not retconning this. It was Anon's stupid idea to throw her into the tentacle monster in hopes of fanservice so now you suffer the consequences.

Let's clean the boat up a bit and plan a little vacation with the maids on the open water. We can go fishing with Reginald and there's the bonus of everyone wearing swimming attire. It'd be a good chance to socialize and clear the air with Katherine.

>>9201881
Does the Yacht have a penis?

>>9201915
>>9201904
>>9201886

Retcons are for pussies. We just got a boat.

Did we retcon when we got sent to hell? NO! We went through with it, and we got Jehanne AND Carmine in the deal, and we put that bitch Alicia in her place!

We are going to make Kat like us, despite what happened today. We've got a boat, motherfucker, we can do anything.

Who's with me?

>>9201923
I meant a PHYSICAL, not mental, genderswap. Because its what she wants.

>>9201904

excessive. i wanted to burn some xp to help with kat, but it's only day 5 or something.

i vote wake up early tomorrow, masturbate, and personally make breakfast for kat.

Also, we shold probably let Sam know that she should avoid serving seafood in the immediate future. Might spark some PTSD.

>>9201943
I AM WITH YOU, BROTHER.


Also I kind of want to buy up our attributes now, could you maybe be with me on that?

>>9201943
We're on a beach. We're taking this fucking boat up alongside the beach until we see Kat. Then we're going to apologize properly, using Affection and as many XP as we need.

>>9201930
Seriously. Magic loli. Is anyone keeping tabs on that bitch?

Re: people talking about leveling up. Save that for later. I'll let you know when you have a chance to level up (in about three days).

In any case, the major votes seem to be.

A. Talk to Alicia
B. Talk to Katherine

Just FYI: the Boat is actually in excellent condition. It's only been about a couple of weeks since it was last used. It needs some gas, and maybe some food and supplies, but it's seaworthy.

Problem is you have no idea how to use a boat.

>>9201943
You have my sword!

>>9201969

Erk, good idea. She needs a checkup. Also she'd probably do a damn fine job of giving us a proper chewing-out rather than the cold, judgmental stares of the other maids.

>>9201930
That's it.

Take boat to the beach, order all maids (except Kat) to clean it and get it ready for tomorrow.

Tomorrow... we set sail on the loveboat.

>>9201969

good call, what the fuck is alicia up to?

PS spend XP on athleticism and (cunning or luck, i don't care which)

>>9201990

I'll assume Reginald can captain this vessel.

Find Kat, see previous posts referring to shopping/genderswap.

>>9201990
Do both in that sequence. Ask Reginald latter if he can pilot a boat or if there are places where we can hire a captain to work on call for us when we need one.

I'm for living with the consequences, since we didn't spend the points earlier. And while I want to repair, for now Kat likely needs some time away from us (though sending Felicia to cuddle with her might be a good idea. Unless she sucks Kat off or something I guess and leads to more drama for our poor trap).
Continue exploring cave, make sure to keep flashlight to return to Kat later on at appropriate time.

>>9201990

>>9202006 here. Never mind.

Let's talk to Alicia, I think we need to leave Kat alone for a while.

>>9201990
this >>9201929 and >>9201952

>>9201990

talk to kat, tell her she has tomorrow off as well. we also need to get up early, deliver breakfast to her in bed with a sheepish look, and leave her the fuck alone for the morning.

>>9202007
>>9202003

You make a mental note to make the boat ready for tomorrow. Perhaps you should have a word with Reginald, too. He might be able to help you out with that.

In any case, we'll move on: you decide, after this lousy day, to see if you can find Alicia. She's probably done with her chores by now, so you might find her in her bedroom.

As you approach her bedroom, however, you hear voices inside. She's talking to someone.

I vote talking to Alicia. Let's give Kat some breathing room for now. Also, taking the maids on a sea voyage? Fuck year.

>>9201990

Let Kat compose herself for now. We'll check on her once she's had a chance to calm down a bit.

Let's poke a looksee at waht our demon loli is doing. having her out of our eyesight is mildy disconcerting, contract or no.

Eavesdrop. Does anyone remember if that breeches the contract at all?

>>9202040
Listen a bit, then knock.

>>9202020
This seems acceptable. Send Felicia to comfort Katherine. That, at least, would be non-gay.

>>9202040
Knock and ask her who's she's chatting with. Maybe invite her to the kitchen for a sandwich or coffee.

>>9202040

Listen, but only enough to determine who she's talking to then move away and wait until she's alone.

>>9202040
Oh, whatever. This day sucks. Fuck this day.
Spend the rest of the day raging at nothing and generally fucking about before falling asleep.

>>9202040
Ignore it, cbf dealing with this shit.

>>9202083

Raging at ourselves seems to be a good bet.

>>9202040

listen at door. make a mental note to have a tiny microphone installed in her ceiling while she's out or something.

>>9202074
>>9202071
>>9202065
>>9202059

". . . do we have a deal?"

"I don't know," another voice says. You can't seem to recognize it, although it does sound male. "I. . . I need to think about it."

"Let me know if and when you decide," Alicia says. "I am patient, but. . . you never know."

Continue listening?

>>9202101
Knock thrice.

>>9202101
Listen

>>9202101

Listen

rolled 2 = 2

>>9202101
Listen REALLY GOOD.

>>9202114
"Who is it?" Alica calls out, through the door.

"It's me. Are you busy?" you ask.

"I'm naked. If you come in here, I will call the one you call Chris Hansen to take you away. Leave me be, please."

>>9202125
>>9202119
>>9202101

HEY

LISTEN

Knock.

>>9202101

No. We're going to get caught, and that'll only make this goddamned day worse. Fuck it, let's just go to bed.

>>9202101
Knock. I have the sneaking suspicion Alicia might know we're out here anyways and use that to her advantage if we're not careful. But mostly because we should either leave or knock, not just hide at this point.

>>9202101

walk back and forth down hallway until somebody comes out of the room. look surprised. and not eavesdroppy.

>>9202135
"... You're a succubus, and I doubt you're less than eighteen.

Nevertheless, I'll wait until you get dressed. I'd like to speak with you."

>>9202135
"I'll just leave you and your boyfriend alone then." And we're off.

>>9202135
say fine and walk down the hall, wait to see who leaves the room

>>9202135
Eh, pretty sure that her contract doesn't allow her refusal rights for room entry. Go in anyway.

>>9202135
"tough"
go in

Okay, guys. DECISION POINT.

Go in or wait and see who comes out?

>>9202135

Fuckit. Let's just get out of here. Go get drunk on the boat. It had a full bar, right?

>>9202135
Do it. We must fight Chris Hansen, defeat him, and destroy his phylactery to bring peace to the lolis everywhere.
For Truth, for Justice, for Loli! CHAAAAAAAAARGE

>>9202168

Kick in the door like a boss.

>>9202168
Wait. If it's a male intruder, have Reginald throw him out.

Say we'll wait.

>>9202168

Wait.

Our recklessness already fucked up one thing today, we don't need two screwups.

>>9202168

Nah, this probably isn't worth the shit we're going to get into. Let's just go and, I dunno. Do something somewhere else.

>>9202135
"... why are you naked in the middle of the day? You're not making horrible incantations that will destroy people's souls in there, are you? Because I've already had a bad day and I'd like to make sure you're not making it worse."
...
"And if you're doing as you should, sorry."

Walk up and down the hallway before kicking the door in like a boss for Justice!. Say nothing, then fuck off, mope around angrily during a boat party for all our maids and sleep.

>>9202168
walk down the hallway and wait

>>9202168

Go to kitchen, choke on a spatula

>>9202168
Walk it, unless she's hiding some sort of spirit or a ninja in there we should be able to spot them in there. Also for the people who want to go to sleep angry or drink ourselves into a coma let's not be that fucking dramatic.

>>9202168

walk in and tell her you heard a man's voice. i'm pretty sure our maids aren't allowed to have gentleman callers without running it by us first.

>>9202216

But going to sleep angry is a national sport for rich little bastards like us!

>>9202169
>>9202188
>>9202192
>>9202195
>>9202197
>>9202203
>>9202204
>>9202205
...
*shrug* Perhaps you're right and this is a bad idea. But what could possibly go wrong with naked alicia?

>>9202168

Walk off/wait is my vote.

>>9202230

Nearly everything conceivable?

>>9202216
Actually, having another talk about our shitty day with Angry Marine might not be a bad idea.

GET OUT ASS CANNON, WAIT AROUND CORNER.

>>9202240
Fuck, let's fight with Carmine for a bit. We need to punch something anyway.

>>9202255

Mmm, ask her to punch us. It might clear all these silly masochistic thoughts from our head.

General consensus seems to be to wait. You lurk back and hide in a darkened corner and wait to see who comes out of the room.

When the door opens and closes, you see a young man, slight of frame, with short, red hair, wearing blue-jeans and a slightly ratty t-shirt, walk out of the room. He closes the door behind him, and turns to walk down the corridor. As he walks past you, not seeing you where you lurk in the darkness, you realize that if this young man were wearing a dress and apron, you would have recognized him sooner.

Kris, usually known by the name of Katherine, turns towards the steps leading upstairs. He hesitates. . . then turns away and goes back to Katherine's room. He opens the door and steps inside, closing it behind him.

You are left alone, standing in the darkness.

>>9202271
Masturbate with unholy fury.

>>9202240
...going on a rampage together might be nice, yes. Though if we do that, send Felicia over to cuddle and comfort Kat first.

Though I still say giving Alicia a few moments to dress and then ordering her to tell us who she was talking to if she doesn't tell us after we ask nicely.

>>9202271

Oh fuck. This can't end well.

SEE WHY I SAID FUCK KAT FIRST? SHE WOULDN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THINGS.

>>9202267

So you're saying we should ask to be punched to get rid of our masochism. Might as well try to douse a fire with fire.

>>9202271
we need to kill alicia, speak with jehanne

>>9202271
Now is not the time to dive into this. We should leave it alone.

To Angry Marine!

>>9202271

oh fuck. She's either asking for soul-selling sexychange magic or he wants Demonloli to curse us horribly. Not good either way.

>>9202271
... What have we done. ;_;

Leave Alicia, let's go get drunk.

...Oh dear. This won't end well. Looks like getting the trap back on our side is more urgent than I thought. Head to her room to confront her.

>>9202287

indeed. It serves as a pertinent exapmle of why it's a fucking bad idea.

>>9202302

Agreed. Raid the Yacht Bar.

>>9202291
Second. Let's fight with Carmine.
We're angry now so why the fuck not?

>>9202271

alicia probably just offered some kind of deal to fuck us over or get her phylactery back in exchange for a sex change.

or maybe to fuck us over after giving alicia the ace. WE NEED TO MAKE KAT FUCKING BREAKFAST AND GIVE HER THE DAMN DAY OFF.

>>9202271

Knew it. Our fuck up has Kat thinking of a way to speed up his sex change so he can get far far away from us. Feels bad man.

Before he can throw his soul away we need to find a better way for the sex change to work.

So, then

1. Talk to Alicia
2. Talk to Katherine
3. Get Beat Up by Carmine
4. Just grab a bottle and start drinking

Also, I think consensus is to send Felicia to cuddle Katherine later?

>>9202302
Let's get drunk and fight.
We can do that.

>>9202323
4 then 3.

>>9202323
Cross out the last two.

>>9202323
Who said anything about getting beat up? We're an even match for Carmine. It'd be a good fight.
But yes, 4. is also good.
I say combine the two! Fight and Drink
Drink and Fight
Fight while drunk
Drink while fightin'

>>9202323
4 followed by 3 is agreed

>>9202323

All 4 sound good, in that order.

>>9202323

Go drinking with Carmine.

>>9202271
Why oh why must our evil conniving-against-us maid be the one who can see whatever is happening that is interesting?
She's starting to turn Kat, presumably. Alicia should be able to change Kat if she returns to her power if nothing else, possibly by making sure we can't make our quota.
Check again with Alicia and ask her to tell us what she's up to. If necessary, order her to if it concerns the wellfare of the maids.

To all the people saying Kat is going to curse us/fuck us over. Hes neutral towards us, not hostile.

>>9202323
3 and 4. Both of them.
Hell, we may spontaneously learn drunken boxing while we're at it. Crazier things have happened.

>>9202324
>>9202334
>>9202336
>>9202338
ANYTHING EXCEPT 4 AND 3!

I still thnik we should just talk to Kat. Alicia after, I suppose.

>>9202323
Talk to Alicia.

The sooner we can make her not be hostile to us, the better.

>>9202323

2 then 4. Or both at once. Mostly, apologize to kat and beg her not to leave, we need her.

>>9202349

Yes, but she did get dropped to neutral in a pretty horrific and trust-violating fashion. It's not implausible, and the hormones she's taking must be playing merry hell with her emotions all the time.

I guess you could head down to the yacht's bar. Or you could go after the one here, which is a lot closer and easier to find.

Uncle always seemed to keep the good stuff around. You grab yourself a bottle of the first thing you can find. Turns out to be Remy Martin XO Cognac.

You pour yourself a stiff drink and knock it back in one gulp.

> 5+ Drunk Save: 2

You feel it burn as it goes down, and the familiar soft mellowness that comes with a jolt of alcohol to the system. Keep drinking?

>>9202349
If he's neutral then he can be offered something in return for turning on us.

Drink, fight, then when the fight is over get carm drunk with us. Angry marines like to indulge right?

Autosage

4. then 3.

>>9202344
Our quota isn't that hard to miss guys. We do the scientist again to get the other half point, then the paladin who is already tagged with love. Then bang, quota filled, unless we are permanently stuck with the half a point which would be a bullshit move to pull.

why do we keep doing retarded fucking shit

some dumb little loli bitch is making a deal with a maid to probably fuck us over and our plan is. . . get drunk

>>9202349
He's not, yet. And Kat wasn't hostile when leaving the cave, no idea after the talk with demon loli. Though Kat likely isn't ready to betray us. We just don't want to make it any easier to turn on us is all.

>>9202369

Another heavy swig, then go find carm.

>>9202369
Invite Reginald and Carmine drinking. Explain whats happened to Reginald, while drunk.

>>9202369

One or two more shots. Just enough to deaden how shitty this day has made us feel.

>>9202369
Nah, we're drunk now.
Let's get fighting.

>>9202369

Now that we have ALCOHOL COURAGE, go see Kat. Apologize as best we can, and then talk with her about stuff.

>>9202395
Fuck. Reginald. We're supposed to be learning knife fighting with him, not getting unstoppably drunk.

>>9202392
who gives a flying fuck about kat the loli bitch is trying to kill us

NO ONE ELSE MATTERS RIGHT NOW

Plan:
Get drunk and fight.

Oh, /tg/. At least Slaanesh can be proud of your loyalty.

>>9202369
Stop drinking. We need to think, to be clear headed and find out the exact nature of what they were making a deal about. Being retarded and "drowning in our sorrows" is not a smart move in the slightest.

>>9202406
This.

>>9202389

This isn't a sodding maths equation. We're roleplaying a person with emotions and feelings. Granted he's a morally bipolar cockmongler, but still.

>>9202414
Well if the lolibitch tries to kill us with Kat
Then without a doubt there'll be a "LOLI OR TRAP YOU MUST KILL ONE" situation.
And it will be the most rage inducing thread ever.

>>9202419

Smart, no. In-character, fuck yes.

>>9202369
yes

we're all over the place tonight.

Autosage.
Also, FIGHT!

>>9202434
Maybe our character needs to build up his character a bit, then, so that we can remain in-character while acting with character.

>>9202396
>>9202393

You pour yourself another stiff shot.

> 4+ Drunk Save: 6

That one shot turns into another, then another. Eventually you're sitting on the couch contemplating doing one more shot, or whether you should stop drinking. Part of you wants to keep drinking until you get sober again.

You stagger a bit unevenly back to your feet and carry your glass out of the smoking room.

> 2+ Saving throw vs. Falling Down Drunk: 3

You manage to stagger through your house and make it to the front lobby.

You are now DRUNK.

Where to?

>>9202389
Actually, as far as the demon who wants to pull our soul (and those of our ancestors) out for a tasty power lunch, that quota. If it amounts to one and the same, then hey, that's fine. If it doesn't, then we're safe from at least her until the maid contract is broken.

>>9202445
>>9202434
>>9202425

was throwing a defenseless trap into a fucking sea monster roleplaying too?

>>9202431
Loli would die, hard. With a vengeance.

>>9202437

It's probably the trauma from almost getting tentacle-raped kicking in.

Every field

>>9202431
>>9202414
We need to make Alicia like us.

Somehow.

One more shot, then let's put the drinks away. Speak to Kat, apologize one more time, then let's just leave her alone for the evening.

Talk to Sam or Jehanne, maybe they can make us feel better.

>>9202455
Call for Reginald. Have him assist you. tell him of the HERESY!

>>9202463

Given how we've handled every other situation before? Yes.

Analprobing Sam, Letting Jehanne get eaten and stripped, etc.

>>9202455
Now that we're drunk
Let's find something to fight!

>>9202455
go drunk talk with Sam, get things off of our chest
try to keep quiet about Kat's trap status

I need an anon to roll me a d6 and tell me the result.

>>9202455
Apparently we're too drunk to figure out what the fuck we're doing.

>>9202455
Drunken apologies to Kat Make 'em heartfelt, and maybe she''l come clean about whatever's up on her own.

>>9202455

Find Jehanne, we need comfort, and Reginald would not like us being with Sam while we're hammered.

rolled 2 = 2

>>9202498
Let's see. Guessing a four.

rolled 4 = 4

>>9202498

>>9202455
Go talk to Jehanne or Sam.

Cry about how you're a terrible master.

rolled 2 = 2

rollin'

>>9202474

Mm. I'm hesitant to do a serious thing like apologizing while drunk...
Actually fuckit. It's an awesome Idea. We'd probably be fucked-up remorseful and showing it. Shodl be interesting.

>>9202455

no more booze. unless we pass the bottle to carmine right afterwards.

i vote we just find felicia and try and cuddle.

rolled 3 = 3

:|

What happens to demons when they break contracts? I don't think they can, but Alicia obviously did when she killed us that one time so she is not to be trusted even under the contract. Warn paladin that Alicia is trying to sow seeds of distrust and/or buy peoples souls with dark powers. If Alicia does ANY evil of her own will then she will be given no more chances and will be killed.

On the way to page 10!

>>9202455
Away from Alicia, and we're pretty much screwed from doing anything but raging around (and failing miserably since we're now drunk off our ass) with Carmine.
Can't really sob out our troubles to Reg or Sam (what with our guilt over the exact same stupidity) and the others aren't likely. Sleep it off early, Jehanne will let them know to leave us alone.
Use somewhat earlier start tomorrow to begin our plans to make things right and plan some time of boat party or something for general morale.

Oh, and have we been saving any of the cash we make, or has it all been spent? I know we've bought some things, but we get a nice daily.

LOL YOU THOUGHT I WAS THE OP BUT IM ONLY USING HIS NAME 'CUZ HE'S AFK OR SOMETHING

>>9202510
Thank you.

You're not sure what happens next. It all happens in a drunken blur. But you do know that your mind is filled with emotional turmoil. You just don't know what to do.

So you do the first thing that comes to mind. Which also seems to be the first person that comes to mind.

2 = Felicia.

You wind up pouring your heart out to someone who can't really say more than "nyu" and swish their tail. It's not much, but it makes you feel better. Maybe you even fuck her a few times. Who knows.

All you know is that, in the end, when you're sober again, things haven't changed all that much.

And on that note, I'm going to bed. Someone archive this shit. Maybe I'll continue friday.

>>9202569

Tomorrow, we'll probably start the day hung over, with our house trashed and ill-tempered ninjas on our lawn.

Or not. It's not my call.

>>9202608
It'd still amke for a better day than today, overall.