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  • File : 1271303976.jpg-(83 KB, 800x600, 0000.jpg)
    83 KB MAID QUEST PART XV - MAID IN AMERICA Anonymous 04/14/10(Wed)23:59 No.9198867  
    WHAT HAS COME BEFORE:

    Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/
    Part 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9050315/
    Part 3: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9052773/
    Part 4: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9054492/
    Part 5: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9055966/
    Part 6: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9070998/
    Part 7: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9073610/
    Part 8: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9075194/
    Part 9: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9077019/
    Part 10: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9078487/
    Part 11: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9093599/
    Part 12: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9096268/
    Part 13: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9097972/
    Part 14: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9099543/

    If you're pathetic enough to follow this fucking shit on twitter, it's at http://twitter.com/maidquesttg

    TL:DR version:

    You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

    1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.
    2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.
    3. Have sex with at least three of them. (1.5/3)
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:00 No.9198878
    Loot
    Alien Repair Bots
    Mysterious Alien Sphere (0% analysed)
    Demonic Ace of Spades - Alicia's Phylactery

    Mansion Status:
    Facilities: Beachfront property
    Kitchen: Average (3 of 5)
    Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
    Gardens: Fair (2 of 5)
    Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
    Beach: Average (3 of 5)

    Staff
    Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)
    Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE
    Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Warm 8/10)
    Felicia, the cute catgirl (Warm) - SEXED
    Jehanne, the paladin (Trust) - LOVE
    Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust (Hostile)
    SISTER FUCKING CARMINE, THE FUCKING FEMALE FUCKING ANGRY MARINE! (Angry)
    Koyomi, your Japanese gamer science nerd. (Neutral)

    65 XP

    It is Morning of Day 7 of 30

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:01 No.9198903
    This is the first thread since last week, correct? In that case, masturbate. Or have sex, if Felicia is under our covers.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:01 No.9198914
    Fix up the decor
    masturbate
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:01 No.9198920
    >>9198867
    Keep up the tradition! Masturbate furiously.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:03 No.9198941
    >>9198903
    This is indeed the first fucking thread since last week.

    So yes. It is morning. You do the traditional thing: whip out your schlong and start beating off. That's right. Surrounded by beautiful women and a catgirl who sucks you off on a regular basis, and your best friend is still Rosie Palms and her Five Daughters.

    What the shit.

    Anyway, you're in the midst of making like Faptau and rubbing one out for the Greater Good when you hear a loud CRASH. Sounds like a fucking bomb went off or something. What the shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:04 No.9198956
    >>9198941
    Finish up, then check it out.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:04 No.9198960
    >>9198941
    You've forgotten your name so far, bossman. Suggest fixing.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:04 No.9198962
    Also, Felicia is not in your bed. Just FYI.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:05 No.9198971
    >>9198962

    Wait, what?

    Wonder where she went.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:08 No.9199026
         File1271304504.jpg-(90 KB, 500x378, 6a00d8341ca35253ef00e54f2ff71b(...).jpg)
    90 KB
    >>9198971
    You soon discover that when you hear a loud yowling sound from the front yard. Poking your head out the window, you discover the source of all the noise.

    There is a construction crane in your front yard. They're lowering a lot of heavy machinery into a pit dug in the ground. You see Koyomi directing them. She's wearing a pair of overalls and a yellow hard hat along with her traditional lab coat.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:08 No.9199033
    You know what, let's skip the masturbation today, and just walk right out to investigate with out morning wood.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:08 No.9199036
    >>9198962
    I hope that the explosion wasn't her. Anyway, finish up and go investigate the noise.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:09 No.9199043
    >>9199026

    UNDEGROUND BASE?

    FUCK YEAH!

    WHEN DO WE GET OUR POWER ARMOR?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:09 No.9199057
    >>9199026
    Finish up and then see how Koyomi's new lab is coming.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:11 No.9199082
    >>9199026
    I stand by my "skip masturbation, go investigation" thing. Find out what science girl is up to.

    Specifically, ask her "Are you putting a Large Hadron Corridor in my backyard?"

    If the answer is yes, say "Okay" and walk off.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:12 No.9199107
    >>9199026
    please tell me she's not makign a large hedron collider
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:12 No.9199110
    One minute. Let me get a glass of cheap brandy.

    Better.

    All right, so having decided that you're going to finish off, you beat off while standing at the window, watching the workers work. They're pretty damn fast: within a few minutes, they've already finished loading some kind of huge machine with fucktons of magnets into the hole in the ground. There are also guys moving in desks with lots of computers and sciency shit that moves a lot and beeps a lot and makes blinkenlights.

    You also see Felicia curled up on the roof. She's looking down at all the noise, terrified, and her tail is puffed up like a bottle brush.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:12 No.9199113
    >>9199026
    Investigate that shit, and see how much it's going to cost us.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:13 No.9199114
    >>9199026

    Cum out of the window and onto Koyomi's face.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:13 No.9199124
    Noooooo I have to sleeeeeep D:
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:14 No.9199142
    Finish up, then put something on and run out asking what's going on.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:15 No.9199147
    >>9199110

    After we're done, call Felicia.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:15 No.9199162
    >>9199082
    >>9199107

    I do pray that if she is makign something it's the HADRON collider and not the HEDRON collider.

    the LAST thing we need is eldrazi up in our shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:17 No.9199190
         File1271305049.jpg-(58 KB, 648x972, in case of half-life.jpg)
    58 KB
    Just to be safe, when she fires this thing up, keep a crowbar on us. Just in case. Never know when one of those fucking resonance cascades might happen.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:17 No.9199191
    >>9199142
    >>9199113
    >>9199107
    >>9199082

    You wind up cumming in the palm of your hand and wipe up with a pair of old boxers you tossed under the bed instead of in the laundry, then pull on your silk bathrobe and walk out into the front lawn.

    You walk past a couple of guys slowly moving the Alien Sphere into the science equipment with a forklift and a pallet. One of them seems to have a short goatee and big, black-framed glasses.

    "What's going on here?" you ask Koyomi. She turns to you and smiles. "I brought the equipment from the lab."

    "Please tell me you didn't bring a large hadron collider," you groan.

    "Of course not, that's far too big. All I could bring with me is a simple linear accelerator. Just about half a kilometer long, is all."

    "Just that, huh."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:18 No.9199216
    >>9199191
    Tell her you don't mind her experiments, but so help us, if those construction workers lay one hand on those Morning Glories....
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:18 No.9199218
    >>9199191

    OH FUCK. GET A CROWBAR.

    Also, insist all scientists have hazard suits, crowbars, and combat training. Also, get Felicia, she's probably scared.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:19 No.9199234
    >>9199191
    All nines and ones with you...

    Ask her the next obvious question. "Why?"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:21 No.9199256
         File1271305263.jpg-(100 KB, 500x490, WWGFD.jpg)
    100 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:21 No.9199259
    >>9199191
    "cool... how long do you figure it will take to finish?"

    then go calm Felicia down
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:21 No.9199268
    >>9199218
    >>9199216

    "Don't worry, no one's going to lay a hand on those morning glories," Koyomi sighs. "It was in the briefing."

    "All right. What about resonance cascades? Hazard suits? Crowbars? Combat training?"

    "I don't know, I'm not in charge of that," Koyomi says seriously. "You need a doctorate to get checked out on crowbars."

    "A doctorate."

    "Yeah. Opening crates is very delicate. Doctor Freeman did his thesis on the physics of type 1 levers." She gestures to the guy with the goatee, who smiles back and nods silently.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:22 No.9199287
    >>9199268
    OH GOD, FREEMAN IS HERE? WE, AND OUR POOR MORNING GLORIES, ARE FUUUUUUUCKED.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:22 No.9199288
    Ask her how fucking magnets work.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:23 No.9199293
    >>9199268

    Insist she drills with Reginald and gets a melee weapon.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:23 No.9199294
    Wat?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:23 No.9199301
    >>9199268
    On behalf of everyone here, allow me to state HOLY HELL!!!

    Ehem.

    "I have to admit you've got me curious. What kind of science are you planning on doing on this thing? It's not mad science is it?"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:25 No.9199329
    >>9199301
    >It IS mad science, right?"
    ftfy
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:25 No.9199333
    >>9199268
    FOLLOW FREEMAN
    We walk right behind him and generally get in his way until someone asks us to leave.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:26 No.9199342
    So gordon freeman exists in this reality. Cool.
    Go calm Felicia down
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:26 No.9199349
    >>9199301
    >>9199293
    >>9199259

    "Well," Felicia says. "The surface material of the alien sphere is made up of a very unusual type of matter, closer to the kind seen beyond the event horizon of black holes. Possibly, based on eleven dimensional super-string theory. . ."

    "In language that the GM doesn't have to bullshit badly," you say.

    "Oh. Ummmm. . . we're going to zap the alien sphere with ray guns and see if we can find out what it's made out of."

    "Okay. How do magnets work?"

    "Aligned electromagnetic fields?"

    "Yeah, let's go with that."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:27 No.9199367
    go calm Felicia down
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:28 No.9199371
    >>9199301
    QFT.

    also talk with Sam or Kat, see what kind if dirt we can dig up on reggie.

    frankly sam is falling so hard for us that she's a gimme if we need it (say, day 29 or something), jehanne is also an ass we can tap should we need it.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:28 No.9199372
    >>9199349
    FELICIA GET OUT OF HERE
    YOU ARE A CAT NOT A SCIENTIST
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:28 No.9199373
    >>9199349

    Give her a 'keep up the good work' and go get your cat off the roof.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:29 No.9199401
    >>9199349
    when in doubt, go meta.

    I approve.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:29 No.9199407
    >>9199367
    >>9199342
    >>9199259

    "All right, I'm gonna go get my pussy now."

    And with that, you head over to the roof and try to get Felicia off the roof.

    She's still staring down at what's going on, hissing furiously, her hackles up.

    > Affection roll: 12

    Thankfully, you manage to get her down off the roof without too much trouble. With a little bit of coaxing and some leftover bacon, you manage to convince her to come down the roof and into your room.

    You close the window behind you just as there is a knock on the door.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:30 No.9199418
    >>9199349
    Ask her if we are prepared for unintended consequences.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:31 No.9199429
    >>9199407
    Answer it for once.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:31 No.9199430
    Answer door
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:32 No.9199441
    >>9199418
    Those consequences being the end of the fucking rule of man on this planet in case of Combine. God damn, we've already had to fight our way out of hell, we don't want to deal with the overthrow of man too.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:32 No.9199452
    >>9199407
    Go answer the door and consider asking the good doctor Freeman to give us a little lesson on the finer arts of beating shit to death with a crowbar.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:33 No.9199464
    >>9199407
    Pick Felicia up, take her to my desk, have her curl up in my lap, begin softly stroking her, and then tell them they can come in.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:33 No.9199468
    >>9199452
    >>9199430
    >>9199429

    You answer the door.

    "YOU FUCKHEAD!" sister Carmine screams. "WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG! YOUR BREAKFAST IS GETTING FUCKING COLD! EAT YOUR GODDAMN OATMEAL, YOU COCKSUCKER!"

    She slams the breakfast tray down onto your desk. Plain oatmeal and a glass of water. Huh.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:34 No.9199477
    Time to go study magic. We need to turn the trap into a girl, and magicing felicia full sentience might not be a bad idea either.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:34 No.9199481
    thank her and eat
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:35 No.9199485
    >>9199468
    "Glad you could join me, Mr Bond..."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:35 No.9199495
    >>9199468
    ...

    ...

    ...okay. I think carmine is off kitchen duty. For, like...ever.

    have her work on decor. If we're gonna have flying butresses and all that shit, we're gonna need some demo work!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:35 No.9199496
    >>9199481
    Don't forget to say a short prayer to the Omnisia before chowing down.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:35 No.9199499
    >>9199477
    we might be able to get Alicia to do it...
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:36 No.9199507
    >>9199468
    WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT, DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN QUAKER? AM I WEARING A FUCKING WIG?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:36 No.9199512
    >>9199499
    For the price of our soul? No thanks.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:36 No.9199514
    >>9199468
    Consume nutrition. Go get Reg and alert him to possibility of xen/Combine invasion later today, in case he wished to prepare.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:37 No.9199523
    >>9199468

    "Good god you fucking suck at cooking. You know what, fuck this. No more cooking for you. Instead, we're going to put you on decor. You get to wreck shit. Sounds like it's more you're speed."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:39 No.9199553
    >>9199523
    Lets have her guard the sphere instead.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:39 No.9199555
    Be uncharacteristically polite thank Carmine and eat
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:39 No.9199558
    >>9199507

    "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT, DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN QUAKER? AM I WEARING A FUCKING WIG?"

    "NO!" Carmine screams. "YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FAGGOT!"

    "THANKS FOR BREAKFAST, CUNTBISCUIT!"

    "I LIVE TO SERVE, SHIT BREATH!" Carmine screams. She slams the door shut behind her. A picture rattles off its hook and falls to the ground.

    You wolf down the bland yet filling meal and drink down the water. Felicia pokes around your tray, hoping for some meat. Getting none, she sighs and goes off into the corner to curl up and stare out the window at the work. Seems that now she's looking at it through the window, she's more interested, less terrified. "Nyuuuuuuuuuuuuuu :3"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:40 No.9199578
    Hug cute
    go about daily buisiness
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:41 No.9199586
    >>9199558
    Yeah, we do need to work on getting her sentient. Anyway, I repeat my suggestion of finding Reginald and alerting him to the possibility of the world ending on our watch.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:41 No.9199589
    >>9199558
    Now... lets find a way to fix our Valued traps problem.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:42 No.9199595
    among other things see if we can pull koyomi aside and bang her again.

    might as well avoid all confusion as to that requirement. plus she doesn't seem to be against it...
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:43 No.9199619
    >>9199558
    Go inform Reginald of the certain impending doom, and that Gordan Freeman is a valuable ally. Also, look for Jehanne. I'm wondering how the night went for her.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:43 No.9199624
    >>9199499
    Fuck that shit, we need to learn magic if for no other reason than to make her useless and know it. After she loses all hope and is trying to redeem her soul and create a meaningful good life, MAYBE then we will give her some pity.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:44 No.9199637
    If we're going to be doing any magic with Alicia we should have Jehanne stand watch just in case. The act might cost us a bit of trust building but it's better to be safe than sorry.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:45 No.9199662
    >>9199558
    Scratch Felicia behind the ears.

    Get the other maids to work: Samantha in the kitchen, Kat in the gardens, Jehanne on the decor, Carmine on the Beach, Koyomi on her experiment, and Felicia and Alicia to help the others out if they need help.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:47 No.9199681
    I'm for asking Alicia about FUCKING MAGIC.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:47 No.9199684
    >>9199558

    Seriously contemplate getting some snacks hidden in our room.

    She's here often, and she deserves it.

    I mean, penis isn't enough ALL the time.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:47 No.9199689
    >>9199619
    >>9199624
    >>9199578
    >>9199586

    You give Felicia a hug. She myuus at you and rolls over, batting at the hem of your bathrobe, but doesn't seem interested in sex this morning. Maybe the loud noises ruined her mood.

    After finishing your shit-tacular breakfast, you head out of your bedroom, still dressed like Hugh Hefner on a lazy Saturday morning.

    You see Reginald sitting on the porch, sipping a nice cuppa tea and watching the Science People doing their thing. "Reg. . ." you begin.

    "So, it is time?" Reginald asks. He stands up and cracks his knuckles.

    "NO! Not yet! I just wanted to tell you that they're building a science lab in our front yard, and to watch out for in case zombies and aliens rise!" you shout.

    "Oh yes, I noticed. Very nice chaps, these Black Mesa people. One of them offered to buy me a beer when he gets off duty. Nice young man." Reginald sits back down and goes back to his tea and biscuits.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:47 No.9199699
    >>9199637
    We are NOT doing magic WITH Alicia. We are going to do it on our own like real men.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:48 No.9199714
    >>9199689
    Actually, we might as well get some hand-to-hand training in.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:48 No.9199721
    Walk up to Gordon Freeman, and in a stern voice say "Freeman, you're not doing anything. Report to Reginald to be briefed on the use of the Crowbar Mark II."
    Follow Freeman to Reginald, getting in his way often and saying "Sorry doc".
    Have Reginald train Freeman and yourself in the use of Axes. Axes are always good.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:49 No.9199741
    >>9199714
    Don't be a dumbass, no we aren't.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:50 No.9199754
    >>9199689
    Seriously, check in on the other maids. Particularly Alicia. We haven't really been watching her at all since she got back.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:50 No.9199755
    All right, guys, I now need a vote.

    I'm getting two major threads of thought here.

    1. Ask Alicia about learning magic.
    2. Ask Reginald about preparing in case of a Resonance Cascade.

    Any other suggestions?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:50 No.9199764
    Perhaps we should ask them if they have a free HEV suit lying around sometime.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:51 No.9199769
    >>9199755
    2
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:51 No.9199780
    >>9199755
    1 is more productive.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:51 No.9199782
    >>9199755
    2
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:51 No.9199784
    >>9199699
    Why the hell would we do it alone. We know nothing about the craft and unless we have any old magical tomes lying about we don't know where to begin.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:52 No.9199799
    2
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:52 No.9199802
    >>9199784
    We might be able to check the liberary, after all our ancestor was a wizard who originally bound Alicia.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:53 No.9199809
    >>9199662
    Sam -> Kitchen
    Kat -> Garden
    CARMINE -> Decor.
    Felicia -> Beach. (Cats are good at collecting random shiny shit)
    Jehanne -> help train Gordon in the art of melee combat.
    Koyomi -> keep building that shit.
    Alicia -> Might as well help CARMINE.
    Self -> get some more training in with Reginald.
    Reginald -> aid Jehanne with the training of Gordon and yourself in the use of axes or swords.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:53 No.9199811
    talking to Alicia is bound to end with her fucking with us (and not fucking us) and causing us to somehow break the contract. no fucking way.

    res cascade seems unlikely but we never know.

    Also, don't paladins at least get some magic? jehanne might be able to help, plus she won't try to kill us.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:53 No.9199825
    >>9199755
    1
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:54 No.9199827
    >>9199809
    CARMINE>Stand watch over sphere.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:54 No.9199830
    >>9199755

    2 is far more pressing than learning magic. At this point any of our goals can be completed without magic.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:54 No.9199837
    >>9199755
    2. Get the paladin in on it, too.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:54 No.9199838
    Fuck preparing, it won't help. We need levels in wizard now, we all know how broken wizards are.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:55 No.9199856
    >>9199838
    Truth. Get out Paladin, and then visit the den of the loli.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:55 No.9199862
    >>9199755
    1.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:55 No.9199875
    >>9199838
    Get Gordon some levels in wizard.
    Imagine Gordon with a +2 Vorpal Crowbar.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:55 No.9199877
    >>9199799
    >>9199782
    >>9199769
    >>9199721
    >>9199619

    "All right," you tell Reginald. "Just be careful. If anything does go wrong, find Doctor Freeman. He's a powerful ally."

    "Doctor Freeman?"

    "The man with the goatee and the glasses. Trust me. Give him a crowbar, and he'll take care of any aliens lickety-split."

    "Although I wonder how you know this, young master, I'll take your word for it," Reginald says, a bit nonplussed.

    DECISION POINT.

    1. Improve a facility

    Kitchen: Average (3 of 5)
    Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
    Gardens: Fair (2 of 5)
    Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
    Beach: Average (3 of 5)

    2. Explore the Mansion (haven't had a chance to really get into the bizarre, under-areas).

    3. Check in on one of your maids. All maids are currently on duty doing something or another.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:55 No.9199878
    >>9199830
    >At this point any of our goals can be completed without magic.
    You forgot to point out the high chance of fatality in attempting so.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:56 No.9199887
    >>9199877
    IMPROVE THAT FUCKING DECOR.
    MAKE IT MORE GOTHIC
    AND MORE FUCKING ANGRY.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:56 No.9199895
    >>9199877
    Explore the mansion.
    ...
    EXPLORE
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:57 No.9199899
    1 is more rewarding.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:57 No.9199900
    1
    decor
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:57 No.9199914
    >>9199877
    Study magic.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:58 No.9199923
    >>9199877
    I say we round up Gordon + Paladin. See if we can get Gordon some ranks in paladin.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:58 No.9199925
    Decor
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:58 No.9199931
    2
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:58 No.9199933
    Explore. Ask when the new decor will be coming in.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:58 No.9199936
    >>9199877
    Get to the decor already. It's about time we actually do that.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:59 No.9199950
    >>9199914
    Explore, maybe we'll find some of our ancestor's stuff at least.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)00:59 No.9199954
    >>9199900
    >>9199899
    >>9199887

    Heading out into the main lobby, you see that the interior decorator is already there. He appears to be chatting with Sister Carmine.

    "It needs MORE EAGLES," Carmine growls. "MORE OF THEM. LIKE FUCKING EAGLES UP IN THIS FUCKER."

    "Oooh, very nice!" says the interior decorator. "The majesty will go very nice with the gothic architecture."

    "ALSO FUCKING SKULLS! AND PAINT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING YELLOW AND RED!"

    "Yellow and red! How bold! See, this is the kind of original thinking we need nowadays!" coos the interior decorator.

    Seems like they're well on their way towards turning this mansion into a home to be proud of.

    -----
    Any other choices?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:59 No.9199956
    >>9199936
    THAT NEW MOTHERFUCKING DECOR BETTER BE MOTHERFUCKING DARK GRANITE OR DARK MOTHERFUCKING MARBLE. AND IT BETTER HAVE GOTHIC MOTHERFUCKING IMAGES WITH SHITLOADS OF MOTHERFUCKING ALCOVES.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)00:59 No.9199965
    >>9199877
    bring Jehanne and Kat exploring
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:00 No.9199971
    >>9199878
    The only goal that can't be is the final boss fight with Reginald. That can wait, we have plenty of time. Also, personally I'm just tired of the same person who's been harping about hurp derp we must learn magic every thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:00 No.9199980
    >>9199954
    LOTS OF DARK MARBLE AND WROUGHT IRON.
    ALCOVES EVERYWHERE.

    STAINED.
    GLASS.
    MOTHERFUCKING.
    WINDOWS.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:00 No.9199986
    >>9199965
    This sounds good.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:01 No.9199995
    >>9199954
    Explore the mansion
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:01 No.9199998
    >>9199755
    3. Check in on everyone. 'specially Jehanne. Maybe Sam, too. Does she know about our deal whith her dad yet?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:01 No.9199999
    >>9199965
    I second this motion. We can always spend more time with our lovely trap.

    ... And paladin.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:02 No.9200010
    >>9199933
    >>9199950
    >>9199895
    >>9199965

    "Excuse me, Jehane? Katherine?" you say, as you come across the two maids doing laundry.

    "Yes, what is it?" Jehanne asks.

    "I'm about to try and explore this mansion some. . . there are parts that haven't been explored in a while. I was hoping you two would help me."

    "Why do you need us?" Kat asks suspiciously.

    "Because this was my uncle's house."

    "I'll get my sword," Jehanne says.

    -----
    A few minutes later, you find yourself inside a dark basement. Obvious exits are (n)orth, (e)ast, and (w)est. There is a set of stairs here, leading upwards into the kitchen.

    > Command?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:02 No.9200011
    >>9199954
    Wrought iron, Dark masonry, Support columns that make alcoves. Stained glass windows. Gargoyles and eagles. Every possible ceiling should be a pointed dome.
    Hire a dwarf and get engravings everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:02 No.9200014
    send carmine to work on decor, talk to jehanne about ranks in wizard or sorc
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:02 No.9200015
    >>9199954

    Chill out. Figure out where everyone is.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:02 No.9200019
    N
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:02 No.9200020
    >>9199971
    Uh... There is a high chance that attempting to genderswap Kat without magic will kill her.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:03 No.9200024
    Enough with the decor shit, time to explore.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:03 No.9200031
    >>9200010
    north
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:03 No.9200032
    >>9200010
    >Obvious exits are (n)orth, (e)ast, and (w)est.

    Dennis.

    ... All right, fine. Let's go east.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:03 No.9200036
    >>9200010
    WAIT WAIT
    BACK UP
    Ask Black Mesa if they have a spare HEV suit.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:03 No.9200038
    >>9200010
    North
    East
    West
    North
    East
    South
    South

    Obtain the room of Newness.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:03 No.9200039
    >>9200019

    You go north.

    You find yourself in a dark hallway. It is very dark here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

    > Command?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:04 No.9200046
    >>9200010

    See if we can hear anything behind each of the exits.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:04 No.9200047
    >>9200039
    GET OUT
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:04 No.9200050
    >>9200039
    Frotz grue
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:04 No.9200052
    >>9200039
    Go back and get a lamp or a flashlight.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:04 No.9200057
    North, make a map as we go.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:04 No.9200064
    >>9200039
    Sally forth my good man.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:05 No.9200067
    >>9200039
    cast Light.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:05 No.9200068
    >>9200039
    Find light switch, and flip it on and off repeatedly.
    OONST OONST OONST
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:05 No.9200073
    >>9200039
    go back, get torch
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:06 No.9200083
    Eat Grue first.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:06 No.9200086
    >>9200020
    You forget that we're essentially rich and can or will be able to afford the best doctors and care money can buy. We have a scientist and yet to be fully researched alien technology out of our disposal which could provide improved methods of surgery. The risk is pretty minimal when you take all of our resources into account.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:06 No.9200090
    >>9200039

    Were we dumb enough to not bring a torch? We were. Go get a fucking torch.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:06 No.9200102
    HOLY LIGHT
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:07 No.9200104
    >>9200052
    >>9200050
    >>9200047

    "Frotz Grue," you say.

    Nothing happens.

    "What was that?" Jehanne asks.

    "It's very dark here," you explain. "I was hoping for some light. Maybe we should go back and get some. . ."

    A moment later, there is a click. Katherine appears in your field of vision, holding a flashlight. She looks at the two of you curiously. "You mean neither of you thought to bring one?"

    -----
    You now see yourself in a darkened hallway. Obvious exists are (n)orth and (s)outh. What do?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:07 No.9200113
    >>9200086
    we aren't going to get her gender reassignment surgery, we want to make her a real woman

    ovaries et al
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:08 No.9200126
    >>9200104
    Again, sally forth!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:08 No.9200129
    >>9200113
    This.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:08 No.9200136
    >>9200104
    I now see myself?
    Admire self.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:08 No.9200141
    >>9200104

    North again I suppose.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:08 No.9200145
    >>9200104
    north
    "keep on the lookout for grues... I've always wanted a grue skin carpet"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:09 No.9200150
    >>9200104
    What are the non-obvious exits?
    OONST OONST OONST
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:10 No.9200165
         File1271308210.png-(218 KB, 979x674, ASK-AXE-COP-16.png)
    218 KB
    >>9200113
    And for that, we'll need magic.

    pic related, its magic
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:10 No.9200168
    >>9200068
    >>9200141
    >>9200136
    >>9200126

    You look at yourself in the mirror. Damn, you're sexy. It's the bathrobe. It makes you look like a sexy playboy hunk.

    You continue north through the hallway. It's a straight shot. Aside from the dark, slightly dank halls, and the bare concrete floor, ceiling, and walls, there's not much to this place.

    After a few dozen meters or so, however, you come across a brick wall. You are now in a cul-de-sac. Obvious entrances are South.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:10 No.9200177
    >>9200145
    Fuck, that reminds me. Next time we see the decorated we need to get a giant fireplace with a bear rug and a giant portrait of ourselves with our staff to put over it. Then we can sit in a chair by the fire and look fucking classy, we could also get one of the maids in there and do some classy fucking.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:11 No.9200185
    >>9200168
    Search room.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:12 No.9200198
    >>9200185

    > Cunning check: 10

    "This can't be it," you mutter. Tapping on the walls, you notice that the brick wall seems to sound slightly odd. Now that you notice, there seems to be a bit of a draft coming from that direction, and the bricks sound hollow, as if there's some empty space behind it.
    >> Jabberwock 04/15/10(Thu)01:12 No.9200205
    Go through the wall. It can't stop you.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:13 No.9200210
    >>9200168
    Say "Xyzzy".

    Also, be on the lookout for a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:13 No.9200212
    >>9200198
    Jehanne, knock down this wall.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:13 No.9200218
    >>9200198
    Yell OH YEAH before doing >>9200205 to get plus 10 on our roll.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:13 No.9200220
    >>9200205

    "I attempt to disbelieve," you say to yourself, and you take a deep breath as you walk right at the wall.

    A few seconds later, you're sitting on the ground as Jehanne lays on hands the scrape on your face and your bruised nose.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:13 No.9200225
    >>9200198
    Begin to dismantle the wall, do so delicately so as not to trigger and possible hidden traps around it.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:14 No.9200228
    >>9200198
    Run back and get Gordon Freeman to hit the wall with his crowbar until it breaks.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:14 No.9200230
    >>9200198
    Knock it down yourself!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:15 No.9200259
    >>9200177
    Screw your bear rug, we'll get an actual bear.

    We will give it fish, berries, honey, and our enemies to do with as it sees fit; it will give us a warm, fuzzy, very well protected seat by the fire, along with comforting hugs when we need them.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:16 No.9200270
    Have one of the maids (Kath?) casually lean against the wall, hoping they'll accidentally trigger the secret opening.
    If it fails, dejectedly look around for candles and such, perhaps some tapestries. Oh, an look up, make sure we're not just under a ceiling vent.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:16 No.9200273
    >>9200230
    >>9200225

    You poke at the wall fruitlessly with your bare hands before realizing that yes, it's solid brick, and getting through it with your bare hands isn't gonna work.

    >>9200212

    "Jehanne, could you try knocking this wall down?"

    "With what, my liege?" Jehanne asks.

    "Your sword, I guess?"

    Jehanne gives you a dirty dirty look. "This sword is meant to cleave evil, not worthless objects," she points out. "But if you insist on me trying. . ."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:16 No.9200277
    >>9200259
    Yes, but will we be able to have sex on the bear?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:17 No.9200288
    >>9200277
    I'm sure the bear won't mind.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:17 No.9200297
    >>9200270

    "Kat, try leaning up against the wall casually," you say.

    "Why?" Katherine asks.

    "To check for secret passages. It always works in the movies."

    Katherine shrugs and leans against the wall. It does not suddenly shift, and she does not fall through.

    "Any candlesticks, bookshelves, mirrors?" you ask.

    "No, just. . . bare concrete. . . except for that wall, which is solid brick," Katherine explains.
    >> Jabberwock 04/15/10(Thu)01:18 No.9200299
    >>9200273

    The wall is obviously held together with pure evil.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:18 No.9200300
    >>9200273
    "Fine, CAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE GET YOUR WEAK ASS DOWN HERE AND KNOCK DOWN THIS WALL."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:18 No.9200301
    >>9200273
    If we're not going to Cunning our way past the wall, just let Carmine run through it later on.
    Also, since we're who we are, pull out graph paper, record map.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:19 No.9200320
    >>9200297
    We start humping the wall.
    UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:19 No.9200324
    >>9200297
    Move on down the line. There's alot of stuff to explore.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:19 No.9200325
    >>9200297
    Say "Xyzzy", see if it teleports us to the other side of the wall.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:20 No.9200331
    Remember, this is your uncle's house. Try something perverted. Get naked.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:20 No.9200343
    >>9200300
    And I just realized that she's already dressed in red.

    For her, screaming OH YEAH would be a +20 bonus to bust through the wall. Minimum.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:20 No.9200344
    >>9200301
    >>9200300

    It's actually a fairly lame map. It's like. . . a straight shot north, and then a brick wall.

    After you yell for your Angry Marine, you wait a moment, expecting at any time to hear a sudden rumble as she races towards you.

    Your expectations are granted. A moment later, Carmine comes screaming down the corridor with a chain fist and punches the wall down. She then turns around and runs back the way she came, screaming, "FUCK YOU COCKBITE!" over her shoulder as she leaves.

    -----
    ASSIST TRIGGER: CARMINE HAS BEEN USED.

    You now find yourself standing in an empty corridor. There is a broken brick wall to the north. A sickly green glow emits from the darkness in that direction.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:21 No.9200365
    >>9200344
    Venture forward, have the paladin ready to smite evil shit that could be emitting the light.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:22 No.9200367
    >>9200344
    Move toward green glow of doom.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:22 No.9200385
    >>9200344

    explore!...hopefully with jehanne flanking, sword ready. kat is on flashlight and map making duty.

    do we have a pipe to compliment our robe? even a bubble pipe would be acceptible. if not preferable.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:22 No.9200389
    >>9200277
    >>9200288
    Better keep Jehanne or Samantha away from it, though.

    You never know what its reaction would be to that sort of grade-A bare ass.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:23 No.9200390
    >>9200367
    >>9200365

    You continue towards the sickly green glow.

    It turns out to be an electric sign reading EXIT. It points to a fairly ordinary looking double-door with a steel push-bar handle.

    Katherine scratches her head with her flashlight. "I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this," she says.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:23 No.9200391
    >>9200344

    Onward! Start jerkin' it while you explore though.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:23 No.9200399
    >>9200344
    CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE DARKNESS
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:23 No.9200403
    >>9200344
    "THANKS BITCH, I GUESS YOU'RE GOOD FOR SOMETHING."

    Walk into the light, paladin up front.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:23 No.9200405
    >>9200344
    "Well, my loyal servants, today we venture forth into the dark recesses of my ancient manor, possibly to face unspeakable horror.

    Jehanne, you take point."
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:23 No.9200412
    >>9200390
    Open the door by pushing the handle.
    With YOUR PELVIS.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200415
    I ATTEMPT TO GET YE FLASK
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200420
    >>9200390
    ... Well, that was anticlimactic.

    Open the door.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200422
    >>9200390
    Open the doors and look outside. Curse the green sign for it's deceptive appearance and glow.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200423
    >>9200390
    Push the door open and poke your head out. See where it leads.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200427
    >>9200344
    This is strange. Search for traps.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200428
    >>9200390
    Go through the door.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200429
    >>9200390
    Go through.

    Be ready to grab Jehanne and Kat and then say "Xyzzy" at the first hint of mortal danger.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200430
    >>9200415
    YOU CAN'T GET YE FLASK
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:24 No.9200438
    >>9200344
    I'm sure that wall wasn't built to keep things in, we should be fine around the mutagenic ooze/magical radiation.
    Same bare walls and such in there, or is it themed some way?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:25 No.9200452
    >>9200390
    Raise arms, pelvic thrust door open.
    Upon triumphant open, look proud, click your fingers, and give a thumbs up to the women (well, man and woman) with you.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:26 No.9200461
    >>9200427
    There is one trap about 3 feet to your left.
    His name is Katherine.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:26 No.9200466
    EXIT is kind of boring. take a quick peek outside and turn back to explore other rooms.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:27 No.9200471
    >>9200461
    Attempt to disarm.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:27 No.9200479
    >>9200438
    >>9200429
    >>9200428
    >>9200427
    >>9200423
    >>9200422
    >>9200420
    >>9200412

    You check for traps.

    You don't find any traps. . . you could be wrong, though.

    You're about to find out anyway. . . as you push open the door with your pelvis. . .

    . . .

    . . . and you find yourself standing in a darkened cave. The smell of sea salt is all around you, and you can hear waves crashing in the distance.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:28 No.9200498
    >>9200479
    >You don't find any traps. . . you could be wrong, though.
    did we check Kat?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:28 No.9200499
    >>9200479
    I've found a trap!
    *points to Katherine*
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:28 No.9200505
    >>9200479
    Sally forth to victory! This must be some kind of secret escape route to a shore cavern.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:29 No.9200507
    >>9200479
    Onward to the ocean!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:29 No.9200508
    >>9200479
    >you find yourself
    ENLIGHTENMENT GET!
    That has to be worth at least 5 xp.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:29 No.9200518
    >>9200479
    Look for pirate ship.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:29 No.9200524
    >>9200499
    >>9200498
    perfect trapmind
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:30 No.9200535
    >>9200499
    >>9200498
    >>9200461

    I need to be drunker for this.

    >>9200505

    As you continue through the cave. . .

    > ROLL FOR INITIATIVE
    > You 6
    > Jehanne 4
    > Katherine 1
    > EVIL 6

    SOMETHING LEAPS AT YOU FROM ABOVE OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT DO YOU DO!?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:31 No.9200544
    >>9200524

    (in all fairness, on many boards here there'd have been like 12 of those in a row. but carry on.)
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:31 No.9200546
    >>9200479
    Move forward, you dogs! Not one step back!

    ... yet, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:31 No.9200551
    >>9200535
    Uppercut it in the taint!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:31 No.9200553
    Make mental note to ask Reginald about SCUBA gear later on. Possibly explore beach some as well. In mean time, explore cave some, make sure we don't have a sub/boat or something in here.
    Must also remember the rest of mansion, of course.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:31 No.9200559
    >>9200535
    Draw Pfeifer-Zeliska, cap evil.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:31 No.9200561
    >>9200535
    Distract it by opening our bathrobe and flashing it.
    If it is a girl, we seduce it.
    If it is a man, we disgust it.
    Either way, beneficial. Flashing go go
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:32 No.9200573
    >>9200535

    >INIT 6

    grab jehanne's sword via her hand and THRUST PARRY THRUST
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:32 No.9200574
    >>9200535
    Step off to one side and let it hit the ground comically.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:32 No.9200589
    >>9200574
    sexually molest it while it is prone.
    >> Jabberwock 04/15/10(Thu)01:33 No.9200591
    >>9200535

    Give it a hug.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:33 No.9200598
    >>9200535
    SHORYUKEN!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:33 No.9200599
    >>9200535
    Dodge, pull out our pistol from it's holster.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:33 No.9200603
    >>9200573 also approves of >>9200574
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:33 No.9200607
    Bruce Lee Dragon KICK!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:33 No.9200609
    If it's female, scratch it behind ears if one of our maids. If female, and good looking, proceed to grope and otherwise distract.
    Else, put our demon fighting skills to use, likely by giving Jehanne a clear shot at it and making Kat keep an eye out on us and the ceiling.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:34 No.9200610
    >>9200535
    Swipe sword, thrust into air.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:34 No.9200613
    >>9200591
    >>9200589
    >>9200574
    >>9200573
    >>9200561
    >>9200559
    >>9200551

    In your panic, you flail blindly at whatever it is. . .

    > You: 2
    > It: 8

    . . . and blindly clip it in the head.

    It, whatever it is, manages to grab you by the face. You smell something wet and salty, and feel powerful tentacles with suckered arms wrap around your head, stifling you.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:35 No.9200632
    >>9200613
    Nothing to worry about, it will realize, we're a guy and move on.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:36 No.9200633
    >>9200613
    ....

    Its a tiny octopus, isn't it.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:36 No.9200634
    >>9200613

    if its generally on our head, headbutt the wall via whatever it is.

    if elsewhere, turn it's mass to jehanne and hold the fuck still
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:36 No.9200640
    Jehanne screams, "My liege!" she draws her sword, but hesitates, unsure what to do next.

    Katherine screams ineffectually like a little girl and cowers in the corner.

    Party:

    You
    Jehanne
    Katherine

    Evil (Hit Points ????/????)

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:36 No.9200645
    >>9200640
    Ram it inot a wall!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:37 No.9200648
    >>9200613
    Deep One Meido!?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:37 No.9200653
    >>9200613

    Try to get it to fight Jehanne and kat. I'd like to see a tentacle monster have some fun.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:37 No.9200657
    >>9200640
    "Uh, Kat, would you mind pointing the flashlight this way?"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:37 No.9200659
    >>9200640
    Squeal like a Japanese schoolgirl, start hitting evil with whatever weapon or object we can find.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:37 No.9200661
    >>9200640
    "MMPHH MMPHH!"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:37 No.9200663
    Does it taste like octopus? Lick it.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:38 No.9200672
    >>9200661
    THIS!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:38 No.9200682
    flail wildly and hope jehanne gets the picture.

    also a "counter target black spell" would be nice for this smother...
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:40 No.9200704
    >>9200640
    "MMPH THMP UMPH MNNGH"
    (well this was annoying"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:41 No.9200715
         File1271310076.jpg-(342 KB, 800x1000, bloodsucker.jpg)
    342 KB
    ?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:41 No.9200720
    >>9200663
    "Oh, tentacles. I love octopus. Looks like I'm going to get an early lunch."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:42 No.9200724
    >>9200645
    >>9200634

    You turn towards the nearest wall and headbutt it at full speed~!

    > Athletics: 8 vs 12

    . . . and manage to SLAM your head into the wall hard! You have taken 4 Stress, but the thing has let go of you!

    Jehanne runs at it and swings with her sword!

    > 8 vs 15

    She fails to hit anything, as the horrible tentacled thing evades her strike!

    Katherine continues to hide in the corner. "TENTACLE MONSTER, OH GOD, AND I'M WEARING A SKIRT HELP HELP HELP!" she screams.

    "It" lashes out at all three of you!

    > 18 vs 10
    > 12 vs 24
    > 6 vs 24

    Jehanne manages to slice at the tentacle, forcing it back, and Katherine manages to evade its horrible slimy awfulness from grabbing her by the ankle and dragging her away.

    You, on the other hand, get a tentacle around your neck and are lifted off the ground!

    You: 8 Stress!
    Katherine
    Jehanne

    Evil: Undamaged

    WHAT DO!?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:43 No.9200743
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>9200724
    can i fuck it?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:44 No.9200754
    >>9200724

    kick! squeal! attempt to bite tentacle around our neck!

    or just coolly say "...little help here"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:44 No.9200756
    >>9200724
    "I'm not a female high school student, you stupid calamari"
    draw gun and shoot it in the tentacle
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:44 No.9200757
    >>9200724
    Have Jehanne throw Kat at the tentacle monster.
    The tentacle monster will be no doubt confused when it realises it has grabbed 2 men, and will most likely apologise then pretend this never happened.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:44 No.9200764
    >>9200724

    Bite it. See if it tastes like sushi.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:44 No.9200770
    >>9200724
    We're going to get molested SO hard. Well, might as well get a half-point out of it

    "I don't suppose you're looking for a job?"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:45 No.9200776
         File1271310324.png-(18 KB, 379x214, i'm okay with this2.png)
    18 KB
    >>9200757
    I'm okay with this.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:45 No.9200778
    >>9200724
    Time to whip out the old ass-gun.

    Or, y'know, the .22. That might work too.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:45 No.9200781
         File1271310341.jpg-(26 KB, 440x330, barnacle.jpg)
    26 KB
    >>9200724
    WHAT WOULD FREEMAN DO?
    LOOK FOR EXPLOSIVE BARRELS
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:45 No.9200782
    >>9200724
    the only correct answer is RUN THE FUCK AWAY
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:46 No.9200792
    >You: 8 Stress!
    What happens when we hit 10 or whatever or limit is?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:46 No.9200801
    >>9200781
    Gordon freeman would be hitting that shit with his crowb...

    No. Fuck that. Gordon freeman would have hit that shit with its crowbar. It would now be dead.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:46 No.9200803
    >>9200770

    Tentacle meido is awesome option.
    tentacle threesome with trap-kun is god tier.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:47 No.9200811
    >>9200792

    Our limit is like 20 or something, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:47 No.9200828
    >>9200792
    >or whatever or limit is?
    [...] or whatever OUR limit is?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:47 No.9200829
    >>9200724

    Get free, then fall back into the corridor. Slam door shut. Pant loudly.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:48 No.9200834
    >>9200811
    Your limit is 20, at which point you suffer a Stress Explosion.

    Basically, you go nuts and possibly pass out. Also, in this case, you'll probably lose your anal virginity to a giant squid. This is to be avoided.

    Well, have you decided on a course of action yet?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:48 No.9200840
    Pull out the .38 and unload a magazine into it.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:49 No.9200843
    >>9200803
    You know what is going to happen if we start that discussion again.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:49 No.9200853
    >>9200803
    Sexuality of tentacle monsters summarised :

    Tentacle monsters: Gay if their tentacles resemble penises.
    Tentacle monsters: Gay if they are male tentacle monsters.
    Tentacle monsters: Not gay if they are girl tentacle monsters (birthing / egg-laying tentacle monsters) whose tentacles look like tentacles.
    Traps: Always gay.
    >> Jabberwock 04/15/10(Thu)01:49 No.9200854
         File1271310582.jpg-(49 KB, 627x478, 1265863616782.jpg)
    49 KB
    >>9200834

    Praise Cthulhu.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:50 No.9200859
    >>9200840
    Oh god if we critical fail our firing roll we'll end up shooting ourselves in the neck.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:50 No.9200865
    >>9200834
    Jehanne throws Kat into tentacle monster.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:50 No.9200874
    >>9200865
    +1
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:51 No.9200890
         File1271310666.jpg-(21 KB, 407x250, tommylee.jpg)
    21 KB
    >>9200853
    >Traps: Always gay.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:51 No.9200895
    >>9200865
    Oh, why not. Let's be a dick to save our own ass.

    Literally.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:51 No.9200901
    >>9200865
    >>9200874
    Do this, but apologize profusely afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:52 No.9200910
         File1271310735.jpg-(469 KB, 800x600, No_4527.jpg)
    469 KB
    Please tell me this is what we are going against!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:52 No.9200912
    >>9200901

    lets save this for like 18 stress, shall we?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:52 No.9200915
    JUST A REMINDER: IF YOU LIKE THIS GODDAMN HEAP OF ENTERTAINMENT DON'T FORGET TO ARCHIVE IT PROPERLY & VOTE FOR IT SO IT DOESN'T SPONTANEOUSLY DISAPPEAR INTO THE VOID OF FAGGOTRY.

    GOOD DAY, SIRS.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:52 No.9200919
    >>9200840
    >>9200778
    >>9200756

    You open fire at the tentacle!

    > 9 vs 15
    > 15 vs 3
    > 9 vs 15
    > 12 vs 18
    > 3 vs 15
    > 18 vs 3

    What the fuck, I keep rolling 6s on the monster. You do, however, manage to deal 27 damage to it with the two shots that hit!

    "Jehanne!" you gasp out. "Throw Kat at it!"

    "WHAT!?" KAtherine shouts.

    Jehanne turns and drags Kat out from behind cover, obeying your orders. . .

    > 12 vs 8

    . . . and pushes her out in front of you guys!

    IT LASHES OUT WITH ITS TENTACLES!

    > 3 vs 4
    > 3 vs 16
    > 18 vs 9

    . . .

    "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Katherine screams. It wraps a tentacle around her leg and lifts her into the air as you break free!

    WHAT DO NOW!?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:52 No.9200922
    >>9200910
    This is the least gay thing ever. I approve of this.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:53 No.9200946
    >>9200919
    Laugh.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:53 No.9200949
    >>9200834
    We should have a knife on us after CQC training. Stab the tentacle to get it to let us go.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:54 No.9200955
    >>9200919
    Order Jehanne to attack first then BITE THE FUCKING CREATURE.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:54 No.9200957
    >>9200919
    Well obviously we retreat to a safe distance and shoot at it until it dies.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:54 No.9200959
         File1271310854.jpg-(57 KB, 550x434, untitled.jpg)
    57 KB
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>9200919
    now we save kat

    pic related
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:54 No.9200964
    >>9200919
    Grab the flashlight and shine it on the body of the beast. Get an idea what it is, exactly, that you're fighting.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:54 No.9200975
    >>9200910
    This appears to be Consensual.
    This appears to be dangerously close to the Missionary position.
    This shit does not fly on 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:55 No.9200983
    Rip and Tear you fucking faggots.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:55 No.9200985
    >>9200919

    grab kat's now dropped flashlight and start beating the monster with it. or try and fuck it's breathing holes. whatever.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)01:56 No.9200991
         File1271310962.jpg-(144 KB, 600x801, comic_lotr16.jpg)
    144 KB
    >>9200964
    You grab the flashlight and shine it at the body of the beast as Kat swings by overhead, screaming.

    This is what you see.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:56 No.9201003
    >>9200975
    We already broke the 4chan barrier when we had actual sex.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:56 No.9201006
    >>9200919

    Now that its tentacles and attentions are occpied with us, have Jehanne dash forwards and strike at tits body, for massive damage!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:57 No.9201020
    >>9201006

    That sounds eerily reminiscent of when we faced Gluttony. I approve.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:57 No.9201029
    >>9200991
    Jehanne get choppy.
    Protagonist get shooty.
    Kat flop about like a scared little boy.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:57 No.9201030
    >>9200975
    So far, monstergirl waifus seem to be accepting of such.

    Now that Kat has distracted it, both us and the Paladin proceed to procure sushi.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:58 No.9201044
    >>9200991
    Good Lord!
    How do we fight DM of the Rings?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:58 No.9201048
    >>9200991
    We're fighting a panel of DM of the Rings?!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:58 No.9201055
    Here's hoping Kat dies.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:59 No.9201064
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>9201048
    >>9201044
    WE'RE FUCKED

    GAME OVER MAN
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)01:59 No.9201075
    >>9200991
    CHOP/SHOOT IT UP LIKE THE GIANT, SLIMY FAG IT IS!

    COOK & FEED THE REMAINS TO FELICIA. SHE'LL LOVE THAT SHIT!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)02:00 No.9201081
    >>9200985
    >>9200983
    >>9200959
    >>9200955
    >>9200949

    "NOW, JEHANE!" you scream. "KILL IT!"

    YOU CHARGE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER WITH A KNIFE IN ONE HAND AND A FLASHLIGHT IN THE OTHER

    > KNIFE 9 vs 15
    > BLUDGEON 18 vs 15
    > BITE 9 vs 15

    Your knife sinks into rubbery flesh. You also manage to follow up with a solid flashlight hit that makes it flinch.

    Your bite doesn't do that much, although you do confirm it tastes like calamari.

    Jehanne shouts as she swings away with her sword!

    > 24 vs 4

    And scores a solid hit, severing a tentacle!

    Katherine screams as the thing reaches up under her skirt. . .

    > 4 vs 6

    . . .

    . . . you hear ripping cloth, and her panties are now hanging off one ankle. Her skirt is flapping free in the breeze. Although Jehanne can't see it, you're pretty sure there are other things flapping in the breeze too.

    Wounded, it tries to drag Kat underwater!

    > 12 vs 16

    But Kat manages to grab onto a stalactite and hold on tight

    "HELP HELP HELP!" she screams. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!"
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:00 No.9201082
    >>9201055
    Well not so much "dies" as "becomes less trappy".
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:01 No.9201101
    >>9201081
    Kaaat!

    Sever the tentacle! We must save our maid!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:01 No.9201113
    >>9201081
    Unload on the tentacle holding Kat. Make that thing break it's hold.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:02 No.9201122
    >>9201081
    Keep choppin'.
    Keep shootin'.

    Focus on the tentacles that AREN'T holding Kat. The tentacles holding Kat are already occupied and are not a threat.
    Reassure Kat that he will not die a virgin, as he will surely be violated before he drowns.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:02 No.9201124
    >>9201081

    we need to team up on that tentacle with jehanne! fucking stat!

    (we're also going to want to have that brick wall relaid. or bring reginald or something)
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:02 No.9201126
    >>9201081

    Yell out "We can help you with that!"

    Then rush over and interpose ourselves between her and the tentacles. use this opprtunity to fall back.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:02 No.9201130
    >>9201122
    Sounds reasonable.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:02 No.9201134
         File1271311378.jpg-(25 KB, 263x282, 1269705148251.jpg)
    25 KB
    >>9201081
    >"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!"
    "I don't think you'll have to worry about that."
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/15/10(Thu)02:03 No.9201135
    >>9201081
    Sorry i'm late! its been a while!

    CHARGE! get +2 on attack rolls, sever tentacle carrying Kat!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:03 No.9201139
    >>9201081
    >I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!
    I'M PRETTY SURE IT WON'T LET YOU.

    Anyway...HELP HER. JEHANE ATTACKS THAT TENTACLE & WE PUT ON THE MAN PANTS & HELP OUR TRAP OUT GODDOMMOT!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:03 No.9201149
    >>9201081
    I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THAT MISERABLE FATE!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)02:03 No.9201157
    >>9201113
    >>9201101

    You and Jehane rush forward and try to save Kat!

    > 8 vs 6
    > 4 vs 6

    . . . Jehanne doesn't manage to get a solid hit in, although you get a nice, hard shank with your big knife. . .

    Kat tries to break free. . . one last attempt. . .

    > 8 vs 12

    . . . failure.

    With a despairing screen, she is dragged away into the darkness. There is a wet, splashing sound, and then she disappears under the surface of the water.

    WHAT DO!?
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:04 No.9201160
    Why risk counter-attacks by rescuing the trap?
    Let the trap tank some damage for us. 'sides, everyone knows you can't violate traps.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/15/10(Thu)02:04 No.9201171
    >>9201157
    I CALL FOR REGINALD's AID
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:04 No.9201175
    >>9201157
    Dive in like the heroic manly bastard that you are!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:04 No.9201178
    >>9201157
    JUMP
    IN
    FLASHLIGHT IN MOUTH, GUN AND KNIFE IN THE HANDS
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/15/10(Thu)02:05 No.9201180
    Actually. Call for Reginald while you dive in yourself and attempt to save Kat.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:05 No.9201185
    >>9201157
    DIVE IN AFTER THEM!!! BLOODLUST!!!

    KILL THE FUCKING THING THIS IS OUR FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:05 No.9201187
    >>9201157
    ACQUIRE NEW MAID.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:05 No.9201190
    >>9201157

    DIVE AFTER HER.

    WE MUST SAVE OUR TRAP!

    Also, to whoever suggested putting our non-combat maid in harm's way. Go die. You retard.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:05 No.9201198
    Sever tentacle holding Kat. Any remaining time spent on potshots at beast to further encourage it running away.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:05 No.9201201
    >>9201178
    Gun in water... I think not.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201204
    >>9201157
    Dive in after her.

    We're saving her, dammit, even if we have to go through Hell again! We put her in this situation, we're going to get her out of it!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201205
    >>9201157
    DIVE THE FUCK IN! AND SCREAM FOR GORDON FREEMAN'S HELP - JUST IN CASE.

    FUCK IT! SCREAM FOR CARMINE TOO!

    DO WE HAVE A RAMIREZ, YET? WE NEED A GODDAMN RAMIREZ TO DO EVERYTHING FOR US & ADVANCE UNDER COVER OF SMOKE.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201209
    >>9201171
    >>9201180
    Screw Reginald, we have to drag her out ourselves in a MANLY FASHION before she gets violated! Otherwise, we'll never get away with claiming that having Jehanne give it Kat was all part of a justifiable cunning plan!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201210
    >>9201081
    "Well it might fix that for you before killing you... so that's a positive thing"

    attack the tentacle attacking Kat
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201213
         File1271311588.jpg-(95 KB, 990x604, 1268993788819.jpg)
    95 KB
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>9201157
    we're going in

    no maid left behind
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201217
    >>9201201
    You do know quite a few guns work underwater right?

    They work about once.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201219
    >>9201157
    Get some support, do the right thing and save him.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:06 No.9201221
    >>9201157

    DIVE IN!!! KNIFE IN TEETH AND ALL!!
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:07 No.9201233
    >>9201217
    ONE SHOT IS ALL I NEED
    ONE SHOT IS ALL I NEED
    ONE SHOT IS ALL I NEED
    ONE SHOT IS ALL I NEED
    ONE SHOT IS ALL I NEED
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/15/10(Thu)02:07 No.9201242
    ... or we can call for ya know. Mr. Freeman, claiming an advanced tentacle headcrab has stolen KAt
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:08 No.9201246
    >>9201157

    Dive, Dive, Dive!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)02:08 No.9201247
         File1271311698.gif-(442 KB, 640x965, 5f05a8cd4cca8d04021e476f806a35(...).gif)
    442 KB
    >>9201175
    >>9201178
    >>9201180
    >>9201185
    >>9201190

    You dive under the surface of the water like a manly motherfucker. . .

    . . . as you dive down lower, you see Kat being dragged under. . . she attempts to hold her breath, but suddenly, a blow from a powerful tentacle knocks the wind out of her. . . air bubbles up from her mouth as she gasps involuntarily.

    She inhales water and jerks around as the water hits her lungs.

    . . .

    With one last, powerful effort, you go after that last damn tentacle.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:08 No.9201249
         File1271311704.png-(1004 KB, 1105x517, Autosage.png)
    1004 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:09 No.9201266
    >>9201247

    RIP AND TEAR YOUR TENTACLE
    YOU ARE HUGE
    THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE TENTACLES
    RIP AND TEAR
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:09 No.9201270
    >>9201247
    Sever tentacle.

    Then share our air with Kat.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:09 No.9201272
    >>9201247
    give her our air, resurface
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:10 No.9201280
    >>9201247
    SEVER TENTACLE
    SAVE TRAPMAID
    SPEND XP FOR IT IF WE MUST
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/15/10(Thu)02:10 No.9201284
    >>9201247
    Sever Tentacle. Give Kat your air even if you're running out.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:10 No.9201286
         File1271311848.jpg-(62 KB, 1105x517, Autosage.jpg)
    62 KB
    Ahem.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:11 No.9201291
    >>9201247

    KISS OF LIFE

    Hell, it'll go some way towards making up for throwing her at the thing. We're going to need a good excuse for that.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:11 No.9201293
    >>9201272
    >>9201284
    What? No! Fuck that.
    That's gay.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:11 No.9201299
    Give Kat kiss of air, continue swiping at Beast to get it to let go of her.
    So, what can we get if we spend some experience to help out here?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/15/10(Thu)02:11 No.9201301
    >>9201280
    I FUCKING APPROVE AND SECOND THIS MOTION.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/15/10(Thu)02:11 No.9201302
         File1271311898.jpg-(442 KB, 985x1276, 3e84c879b1656f20cf9b43c00d0356(...).jpg)
    442 KB
    >>9201289

    New thread, someone archive this one
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:12 No.9201309
    Too much homosexuality detected here captain. Think of a NON-homo way of rescuing the drowning man, please.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:12 No.9201321
    >>9201293

    Balls aren't touching. It's fine.

    Also, she's a sexy redheaded tsundere trap. So it's quadruple fine.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:15 No.9201399
    >>9201293

    homophobicfag is homophobic.
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:25 No.9201593
    archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9198867/
    >> Anonymous 04/15/10(Thu)02:26 No.9201619
    >>9201309
    Seconded.



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