Well tonight is going to awesome.

Cosmic Break thread is thisaway >>10436918

Huh, I thought you got banned.

What did I miss after we got the rat as our chef?

>>10438986
The ban was only for 24 hours. And the answer is, not much. You saw some fireworks then went back to the hotel room and did some snuggling.

So what's on the docket for tonight, chief?

rolled 1 = 1

>>10439018
On a 1 I run Maid Quest.
On a 2 I don't assemble Tyranids.

The Maid Quest conundrum:

my principles make me believe that actual roleplaying should be taken to private groups off of /tg/. My practical side reminds me that if they ever did, I'd lose Maid Quest along with the trollplayers and shitquests.

>>10439016
You know, strange as it sounds, I'm content with the snuggling and just laying together, sans the usual mind-blowing thundersex.

But somehow, I get the feeling there will be disagreement.

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE:

First Chapter: Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/

Most Recent Chapter: Part Some fucking thing: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10378714/

If you want to find the rest, they should be tagged "Maid Quest" on the archive.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=maid+quest

Discussion Thread 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10342577/
Discussion Thread 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10400355/


-----

If you're pathetic enough to follow this fucking shit on twitter, it's at http://twitter.com/maidquesttg

-----

-----

You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.

At least, that's the basic idea. Things have gotten confused since then, and people have decided to devote most of their time to trying to get all your maids to become one huge fuck harem.

Loot
Alien Repair Bots
Reticulan Combat Android in a Sphere
Demonic Ace of Spades - Alicia's Phylactery
Silver Key
Iron Key
Occult Book
Sword
Alicia's Locket, containing Kat's Love
Music Box

--Your Costumes:--
Magician (Magic Missile, Shield, Ritual Magic)
Bloodline Sorcerer (Reality Warping)

--Unassigned Costumes:--
None

--Mansion Status:--
Facilities: Beachfront property, Huge Yacht ("Kat"), Secret Passages (Connects Master Bedroom to Maid Quarters).
Kitchen: Good (4 of 5)
Decor: Good (4 of 5) - BEING IMPROVED BY 1 MAID
Gardens: Average (3 of 5) - BEING IMPROVED BY 1 MAID
Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
Beach: Good (4 of 5) - BEING IMPROVED BY 1 MAID

DEFENSES: Being worked on by 1 Maid and 1 Butler

>>10439120
> Ritual Magic
Expand on this, please. Or point me to the thread where you did.

STAFF:
Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted) - Boon

Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE - Boon Activated - TROLLED

Koyomi, your Japanese gamer science nerd. (Warm) - SEXED

SISTER FUCKING CARMINE, THE FUCKING FEMALE FUCKING ANGRY MARINE! (Neutral) - Boon
- Costume Option: Sexy Commissar - Changes her type from ANGRY/ANGRY to Sexy/ANGRY
- Costume Add-on: Blood Splatter - Causes Fear upon dealing damage to an enemy.

Kristopher, formerly Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Distant)

Felicia, the cute catgirl (Warm) - SEXED

Jehanne, the paladin of Bahamut (Devoted) - SEXED

Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust. (Warm)

90 XP

It is morning of Day 17 of 30. You are at Walt Disney World with an evil demoness who has claimed she wants to kill you. As you wake up in her room, from where you fell asleep cuddled up to her, you realize that she's not there.

WHAT DO?

Other costumes: Alicia's Evening Dress.

Masturbate in great detail. It's a tradition!

>>10439142
Masturbate. Tradition demands it.

>>10439142

Check for any obvious traps...

That is. Booby traps. Not men dressed like women.

I fucking knew it. It is always when I'm pressed for time

>>10439169
>>10439170

Well, there is no going against tradition.

Masturbation, of course!

>>10439199
A thread without tradition is as unstable as...

Well, a fiddler on the roof!

>>10439133
No explanation needed. Simply put, you can use ritual magic and use it to cast more complex and complicated spells. It's a plot point power.

>>10439169
>>10439170
You jerk off. At first, you're a bit nervous, expecting Alicia to burst in at any moment, but she doesn't. In fact, you manage to get in a really good session, although cumming all over the Mickey Mouse washcloth kinda feels sacreligious.

>>10439184
You check for any obvious traps.

> Cunning Check: 16

No obvious traps.

>>10439218
Search room for clues as to where she went.

>>10439189

BONUS ITEM GET: Roll 3d6

Sense extraplanar being

reported for spam

>>10439244
Someone break out the lucky dice.

rolled 5, 4, 2 = 11

>>10439255
Thanks for the xp

YESSS!

>>10439274

NEW COSTUME GET: Will explain what this is later.

>>10439255
+10 Falsely Reported XP. New total is 100 xp.

>>10439235

> Cunning Check: 20

You get up and search the room for clues as to where Alicia could have gone. You don't see her in the room. However, when you go out into the sitting room of your suite looking for her, you hear some sizzling noises from the kitchenette, and smell cooking bacon.

Go back to bed, pull the half asleep act

>>10439319
Walk into kitchen nude.

>>10439319
Does this demonloli have some sort of bacon fetish or is our dear GM projecting?

>>10439319

Let's put on a Hugh Hefner robe and head to the kitchen (this a pretty pimpin hotel room to have a kitchen).

>>10439350
Our DM projects and describes like a motherfucker. It's great.

>>10439345
Well obviously this.

>>10439350

Who doesn't like bacon? Only heretics.

Damn, it seems like we are going to the kitchen. at least let's not go naked near hot oil

rolled 3 = 3

>>10439189
See subject

>>10439350
> Don't want your baked potato? Put some BACON on it. Now it's your favorite part of the meal!

There's only one way to decide this. DICE ROLL: 3+ you walk in naked

rolled 5 = 5

>>10439420
Can this be 4+ to make it 50/50 instead?

>>10439420

I approve of this conflict settling method.

>>10439420
Having just finished your marathon epic fap session, you walk into the kitchen naked, with your john thomas gently swaying.

Alicia is standing there in the kitchen with a pan of frying bacon. She's also made an omelette which is gently steaming on a plate off to one side, and apparently some buttermilk biscuits too.

You don't see any frozen dough wrapper in the trash. Apparently she made the biscuits from scratch.

>>10439436
Our dice are as perverted as we are.

>>10439456
deredere

>>10439436
> see pic

"Damn, I should probably go back and wear something more formal"

Hey cool it's maid quest.
Can Remy understand and speak English, only understand it, or is he only fluent in French?

>>10439456
Walk up and give her a big loving hug from behind. Try not to get an erection in the process.

>>10439456

Sit down for some chow.

"Good morning. Where did you find the ingredients for all this?"

We should probably put some clothes on. Bacon grease hurts like a motherfucker, I can't even imagine it hitting us in a sensitive area.

>>10439514
Hey, Naked Bacon (or Nacon) tastes all the sweeter.

>>10439498

Try not to get hot oil on our dong.

wash our hands and set table.

>>10439524
Well that goes without saying.

>>10439514
very this

>>10439498
This.

>>10439492
We are so going to place a locked hard plastic cover and habitat so he can work without getting lol eaten. Then he goes back to the safe area while we get the pots and plates out

rolled 3 = 3

> On a 5+ you get an erection.

>>10439543
>>10439536
>>10439523
>>10439524
>>10439498

You come up behind Alicia and give her a hug from behind. "Hey," you say. "Did you make all this for me?" you whisper lovingly into her ear.

>>10439567
I am incredibly grateful that the young child does not make us hard.

>>10439567

I was hoping for an erection, but the dice have spoken.

rolled 6 = 6

>>10439567
"Nope," Alicia says, as she continues to cook the bacon, seemingly unconcerned that there is a naked man pressing up against her from behind. "The rat did the biscuits and omelette. I'm just doing the bacon."

You glance over and see Remy the rat crushing some oregano and sprinkling it over the omelette. He looks up at you and waves a greeting.

>>10439567
Hooray, we're not pedophiles.

...actually, we're hugging a loli while nude, so we're probably in a bit of a gray area there.

>>10439588
Of course she does. Just, thankfully, not at this momment.

>>10439567
You know, I just realized that Remy probably helped her. If Alicia could cook well enough to make biscuits from scratch we probably wouldn't have needed a cook in the first place. So we totally just showed our new cook our dong.

>>10439600
Purely technical query: which is longer, Remy the Rat's entire body, or our wang when erect?

>>10439600
Bro fist Remy.

>>10439607
Well he's naked too.

well, fuck, I think we found someone who could be Alicia's new familiar, if we can suggest it well enough

>>10439607

If I got shy every time a rat saw my dong then I wouldn't have made money from those videos.

>>10439600
"Well, bacon is the most important part of breakfast."

>>10439637
Excellent point. I agree with the brofist.

>>10439620
Seconded.

>>10439637
good point

>>10439619

Remy wins by a head.

>>10439620

You extend your fist for the fist-bump. Remy returns it. His fist is smaller than one of your knuckles.

Alicia ahems. "Are you planning on staying here and hugging me while naked all morning, or are you going to get dressed for breakfast?" she asks, as she turns over the bacon.

>>10439662
Strike a naked pose.

>>10439607
>showed our new cook our dong
How many of our employees haven't seen our dong? Reginald, maybe?

>>10439662
> Ask question designed to squick the DM

> Serious answer

Alright, japname. You've got my attention.

Go get dressed.

bring Alicia's hat

>>10439673
like this.

>>10439662
"Well I was, but now I'm going to eat my breakfast naked just to spite you."

>>10439662
The loli has a point gentlemen. We're not ready to bend her over the breakfast table yet so lets go get some clothes on.

>>10439697
+1

>>10439662
I'm not the guy who asked, but that answer just raises another question. Is that measurement with or without his tail?

>>10439673
"What, you don't like it?" you ask, putting your hands on your hips and swaying back and forth. "I happen to think it's quite impressive, myself."

Alicia sighs. "I'm handing hot oil, here, and you're naked. One slip and you could get an injury that would make several young ladies back at the mansion extremely upset at me." She gives you a smirk over her shoulder. "Clothes. Now. Or no bacon."

>>10439697
>>10439722
+2, but we have to otherwise be perfectly polite/nonchalant/act oblivious to our nakedness.

>>10439752
Make a check to see if she's annoyed or amused.

>>10439752
"Damn you and your witchcraft."

Re-requesting Hugh Hefner robe.

Pants, shirt, giant hat, nao

>>10439751
Not the tail.

> Affection Check: Good enough.

Alicia seems amused by your antics, but also slightly annoyed. More, "This again, great," not, "HATE HATE HATE."

She also seems totally unaroused.

>>10439752
The Bacon is being held hostage gentlemen. It goes against our nature, but I feel that we must concede to her demands and put on some clothes. For the Bacon's sake.

>>10439752
>I'm handing hot oil, here

She has a point.

Go back to our room to get dressed while muttering about how we're not even married and she already orders us around.

>>10439752
"You win this round, grease."
Put clothing on.

>>10439797
>Go back to our room to get dressed while muttering about how we're not even married and she already orders us around.
oh yes

>>10439801
+1

This, now.

Put on bathrobe and slippers. Thats all I plan on wearing today. Think Arthur Dent.

>>10439801
>>10439797
>>10439796
>>10439791
>>10439782

"You win this round, grease. If there weren't bacon at stake I'd never have backed down."

You head into the bedroom, put on a red silk robe, and come back out. By the time you sit down at the table, Alicia has already laid your breakfast out in front of you: omelette with cheese and mushrooms, bacon, buttermilk biscuits, and a small basket of fresh fruit.

Alicia sits in the seat across from you and picks up an orange, peeling it delicately, keeping the peel in one long spiral as she does. "So," she asks, as she pulls off a wedge and pops it into her mouth, "What's the plan for today?"

>>10439846
I'm thinking the Zoo.

>>10439846
Have we went to the Animal Kingdom yet?

"There are a lot of options. I was thinking goats, nature's adaptable jerk first, then perhaps something soft, like a theater or cultural rides... Unless there is something warranting attention"

>>10439896
No, we're off to the mothafuckin zoo

I was 7 or 8 when I visited Disneyland, I've forgotten what's there. All I remember is that it was huge.

>>10439846
"Since screwing like epileptic rabbits is out of the question, how about a trip to Animal Kingdom?"

>>10438910

Fucking touhou is retarded.

god damn pedophiles.

>>10439896
>>10439882
> Animal Kingdom has been suggested.

"I was thinking Animal Kingdom," you say to her.

"Oh, that place where we had dinner yesterday?" Alicia asks. "That big zoo?"

"It's not a zoo. They make a big point of that," you grumble. "It's supposed to be like this super zoo. . . anyway, you'll like it. It's got animals."

"Does it have any roller coasters that will make me want to kill you again?" Alicia asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think so."

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Remy the rat is washing his hands and drying them off on a washcloth.

>screwing like epileptic rabbits
That's plan A, plan C, plan D, and plan R.

>>10439953
Ask Remy what he's going to do while we're gone.

>>10439985
It features strongly in every other plan up to and including ZZ

>>10440014
"So, Remy," you ask the rat. "You going to be okay when we're gone?"

The rat gives you an "A-Okay" sign with his thumb and finger. Either that, or he's calling you an asshole in sign language.

Alicia finishes eating her orange and stretches out. "I'm going to go take a shower," she says. "Don't come in or I'll kill you."

She gets up from the breakfast table and heads into her room. You hear the door close and lock behind her.

Let's go to the zoo. Be careful with those foie gras birds, they bite everything

Get a shower ourselves. When's the last time we did, anyway?

>"Does it have any roller coasters that will make me want to kill you again?"

Well, they do have the one...

http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/animal-kingdom/attractions/expedition-everest/

But we can skip that.

>>10440050
She's dropping that "I'll kill you" line rather often. We'd better be careful or Reg will have to gas the chopper again after another trip to Hell.

"So Remy, do I even have a chance in this situation?"

>>10440123

Finish showering quickly.

Biggest question now is how we're gonna dress our loli today.

We ought to make some sort of reservation for a special Lunch or Dinner while she's occupied with her lengthy shower.

>>10440014

This. See if the little blighter needs anything to keep him busy.

>>10440090
> "So, Remy, do I even have a chance in this situation?"

Remy thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs, as if to say, "Alas, I am but a rat, I have no idea what the hell to do here."

You sigh, head into your bathroom, and take a long, hot shower. You also take a piss while wearing only a bathrobe. Feels good, man.

Coming out of the shower and getting dressed, you find Alicia waiting for you in the main room. She's dressed today in her usual white sundress and hat number. Maybe this time there won't be large amounts of water to soak her clothes and force her into cosplay. Maybe.

>>10440050

>"Don't come in or I'll kill you."

"Been there, done that, learn some new tricks, goddamn."

>>10440156
Doubt they have classy lounges in Dland.

Sometime after lunch, we should get to using that new key of ours. Get the magic flowing

>>10440172
We could have him write up a list of desired acquisitions for our kitchen at home, and send it ahead of us. No reason not to get a bit more improvement on the kitchen done.

>>10440186
You know, if I remember right, there is a water ride in Animal Kingdom. Just saying.

>>10440172

"...and thats when I bought the rat a prostitute."

>>10440188
Fuck, that would have been perfect.

>>10440220
Thank you, Rayne
>>10440202
Yes, there are. There's also at least one Wolfram and Puck.

>return from INNA WOODS

>store rifle

>get ready for an 8:00 AM wakeup

>twitter

>well I can skip one thre- HE'S COMPARING OUR DICK TO THE SIZE OF A REMY THE RA- FUCK, FUCK, IT'S GOT ME THE GAME HAS GOT ME

Sometimes, Goshujin, I hate you.

>>10440220
See picture.

>>10440253
Epileptic rabbit impersonation imminent!

Man, can't we move back to exciting things now? Disney World is as boring as fuck.

So Zoo and wild tour, then lounge?

>>10440172
>>10440205

"Hey, Remy," you say, as you pick up your hotel room keys and your tourist backpack. "While we're gone, if you want, get on the internet and send an email on to the mansion. Let them know if there's anything you need."

Remy rolls his eyes and cocks his head to one side, but seems to understand.

>>10440220
>>10440253
> Sometimes you guys make me sigh.

>Maybe this time there won't be large amounts of water to soak her clothes and force her into cosplay.

During my trip to Disney World, it rained on the day I spent at the Animal Kingdom. Interestingly, it rolled through in it's entirety while I was on the Kali River Rapids, on which we were probably going to get drenched anyway. I feel that the rain only enhanced the experience. Turned it into the psychological thriller of water rides.

>>10440291
Like, say, have Koyomi start working on a rat-to-human translator. That'd be handy.

>>10440290
Yup.

I've never been to the damn Animal Kingdom, so I'm going to fast forward past most of the day. Someone roll 1d6.

rolled 5 = 5

>>10440328

rolled 1 = 1

>>10440328

>>10440322
Think we can get a dog-to-human translator while we're at it?

>>10440287
Day 1 Disneyland was pretty awesome I thought. Hopefully Day 2 continues the trend.

>>10440352
"Alpha! The ROCK moved!"

Also, should be noted, there's another PUSH in Animal Kingdom. This one's a recycle bin.

>>10440291
We've got to see some orangutans.

>>10440382

>talking recycle bin

AL GORE

>>10440352
Actually, it might be better to get Remy some sort of miniaturized force field generator for personal protection. Felicia's a tricky one, and she'll be after him. Or maybe we could have a series of rat-sized secret passages installed that she can't get into.

Point is, I'd rather not just drop them into the same house together without any prep.

>>10440418

put our rat in a ROBOTIC EXOSKELETON

>>10440291
eat meal at mgms 50's prime time cafe

do eet

>>10440345
> Affection check.

Long story short: Alicia seems to really enjoy the park. Some highlights from the montage:

1. She encounters a spoonbill bird. It tries to eat her hat. This upsets her greatly.

2. Discovery Island is okay. That 3D Bug's Life movie nearly freaks her out, but she does manage to restrain herself from attacking the screen and getting kicked out like that Mickey Mouse Philharmagic one.

3. That Mickey Mouse Camp thing is declared "BORING" and skipped almost as soon as you set foot in there.

4. She seems to really enjoy the tours of the continental themed areas, although the droning of the tour guide makes you a bit sleepy.

Coming up on 1pm, you're heading back to Rainforest Cafe to get lunch, when you encounter a group of people standing around in a circle, giggling.

There is a recycling bin standing there, talking to a small girl.

"Are you sure I can't have your hat?" PUSH is pouting. "I really think I could turn it into something useful. Tell you what, if I can have your hat, I'll give you one made out of empty soda bottles, okay? I think I even have some soda still in them!"

>>10440430
Mecha-Remy. Fully two feet tall, and equipped with a variety of slicing, dicing, and pureeing tools!

>>10440455
Say hello to push.

Head back to the mansion. We have work to do. AND TRAINING TO DO.

We're running out of time, here! And we have nowhere near enough skillz to beat Reginald.

Negotiate our plastic cups and stuff for some info on the key

>>10440503
the key opens any door

>>10440493
Chill out, we'll get special training from Reg when we get back.

>>10440493

>He thinks Goshujin is going to let us get out of Disney Land without a few more GREAT TRIALS

>>10440493
It is very true that we have nowhere near the skills and training needed to beat Reginald. However, we said three days, and we'll damn well do three days.

Also, Reginald has decades of experience as a badass. We're not going to be training our way to victory in two weeks, though I suppose it couldn't hurt. We'll have to achieve victory through less conventional means.

>>10440493
didn't we gain extra boons?

>>10440543
We shall play michael jacksons thriller and have a dance off!

>>10440557

Yes we did. Regs' and Carmine's.

>>10440485
"Hey there, Push," you say, walking up to the recycling bin.

"OH!" PUSH says. "It's the nice lady who gave my brother who works at Magic Kingdom a hat! Thank you, nice lady!"

Alicia gives PUSH a bemused look. "You're ummm. . . welcome."

"OOOH! And you have a new hat too!" PUSH says, running up to Alicia and bumping into her like an affectionate kitten. "Can I have this one? PLEEEEASE!?"

"What does a trash receptacle need a hat for. . ."

"I work all day in the hot sun, and all this hot sun can't be good for my skin!"

"But I like this hat," Alicia sighs. "I bought it yesterday. . ."

"Tell you what," PUSH says. "If you give me this hat you're wearing, I'll give you something nice! Although, I think you wouldn't like a soda bottle. . . I know! I'll give you this!"

A robotic arm extends from inside the recycle bin. It is holding up a garment bag. "This was made from 100% recycled and earth friendly materials!" PUSH declares. "I think you'll really like it! It's a full set of clothes, and that's more than a hat!"

Get Alicia's opinion on the whole Disneyland's Lich Lord thing, she must have known him, and if he can be relied/trusted upon

I'm pretty sure Walt is subtly trolling us, like an uncle...

>>10440611
look at alicia and roll your eyes slightly

>>10440611
Sounds like a free new outfit for Alicia. Ask he if she wants to trade for it though, it's her choice.

>>10440611
> "I work all day in the hot sun, and all this hot sun can't be good for my skin!"

You're a trash can. :I

>>10440611
Pimp slap the robot for trying to give a woman in our company garbage.

>>10440665
Recyling bin. His brother is a trash can.

>>10440656
Take a look at the outfit first.

trade something ours for it

>>10440611
"Alicia... well, it's your hat."

>>10440665
"My skin is made of aluminum, yes, but that's still not good for it!" PUSH insists.

>>10440642
>>10440656
Alicia looks back at you and shrugs. "Well, I don't give too much of a care," she says. "If you really think I should trade, I might as well.

>>10440611

It's her day, ultimately the choice is hers.

Let her know we'll get her another if she does.

>>10440670
>It's a full set of clothes
Guess what the 3d6 roll was for...

>>10440687
Offer it our hat instead. Presumably we have one.

If it agrees, give Alicia the new outfit as a gift in a ridiculously over-the-top fashion.

Trade hat, recieve power.

>>10440687
In case she decides to make the trade, promise to get her a new hat and even some new clothes or something.

>>10440710
last i knew our standard outfit was a old style british hunting outfit, red coat pants and hat

>>10440674
>>10440700
>>10440670
"I really don't think a set of clothes made of GARBAGE are going to go over well," you say. "Let's go."

"Oh, wait!" PUSH insists. "Don't you want to see it first?"

"Look, I don't have time for. . ."

PUSH removes the garment bag.

There is a GASP as everyone stares at the outfit he has revealed.

> The Finest Maid Uniform in the World
> This is a very mysterious maid uniform. It was woven using thread and cloth so fine that it simply can not be seen by the human eye. Once you put it on, you gain 1 point in each of your stats just for wearing it, but it cannot be removed or replaced by a different outfit. People are often so blinded by this fine Maid Uniform that they simply stop and watch, or look away nervously from you when you approach. It was totally worth the money, as it is rumored to have been previously owned by an emperor!

Hey guys, i just looked at the past few posts.

What the fuck is going on in this thread?

>>10440777
Do it. What better for a daemon lord of lust?

Tell her we can buy an identical replacement hat, but this recycling bin? Does it look like HE can just roll in and pick up a new hat? Hell no.

>>10440777
You...you...words fail me in expressing my emotions...Hell, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now, you magnificent bastard.

>>10440777
>can not be seen by the human eye.

"Alicia, is this magic? I'm kinda new at this"

>>10440777
GLORIOUS! We must have it.

LOL NO

>thread and cloth so fine that it simply can not be seen by the human eye.

>>10440796
We went to Disney Land with a daemon lady who's currently in the form of a small child to conserve energy. We're currently trading her hat to a recycle bin for invisible clothing.

>>10440777
i rather like our maids being able to get naked

it promises fun

As much as I want Alica to wear it, it probably would work better with Jehanne.
Probably.

>>10440796
This.

>>10440777
Okay, this we simply must have.

Not necessarily to give to anyone, but just to keep around and know that we could.

>>10440777

Yes, let' superpower the one maid with the potential for lethal violence against us.

>>10440777
There is no longer a choice. We must have it. Promise Alicia two hats in case this happens again.

>>10440817

Who said anything about maids wearing it?

WE WEAR IT BEFORE WE FIGHT REG.

Then we magick it off. :D

>>10440805
". . . it looks like an empty coat hanger to me," Alicia mutters.

"No," PUSH insists. "This is the finest maid uniform in the world! It is made of gossamer silk so fine that it feels like wearing NOTHING AT ALL! NOTHING AT ALL! If you wear it, you'll feel like a new woman! People will gasp whenever you walk past! It will be fantastic!"

> CUNNING CHECK: 16

You don't see anything there either. . .

...Oh god, we've been had.

The Emperors New Clothes.

>>10440851
poke it

>>10440851
Anyone else thinking this?

>>10440851

.... that actually looks like a REALLY nice hangar...

>>10440876
You feel nothing.

"I don't feel anything," you say to PUSH.

"Yes, isn't it fantastic! This is the finest gossamer silk known to man! It's like it isn't even there!" PUSH insists. "At least, that's what the people who gave it to me claimed. . ." He is starting to sound a bit dejected. The crowd is grinning at him and making amused noises.

Fuck, this is like one of those dnd trolling traps, next time we'll ask if the bag is magical

>>10440851
no thanks, my maids are for my own viewing pleasure, not everyone elses

>>10440900
Dammit, now I feel bad for a trash can. Lets go buy him a hat. Let Alicia keep hers.

>>10440900
I think we're good, thanks.

Guys, I'm stumped... wat do, indeed

>>10440870
>>10440885
Applause. You got it.

OOC: The outfit's effects are accurate. If you "equip" it on someone, they will spend the rest of the quest in the nude. However, all their stats go up by 1.

You can wear it, if you want, but it will mean removing and being unable to use your wizard outfit.

>>10440900

Give him hat.

Convince him hes the only one fit to wear the dress.

Yeah, no thanks can-man.

>>10440900
Okay, how about this plan. We ask to look at it more closely for a minute, and take the hangar.

Then we give the hangar back, having stolen the uniform! He'll never know! MWAHAHA!

>>10440953

Then we take it.

Keep it until we fight Reg.

>>10440975
If we put it on for the Reg fight, than we're going to be stuck nude in the epilogue.

Goshujin-Sama, you are going to write a damn awesome epilogue, right?

>the rest of the quest in the nude

This can only work for Felicia. I bet she keeps a collar and bell though

>>10440964>Okay, how about this plan. We ask to look at it more closely for a minute, and take the hangar.

>Then we give the hangar back, having stolen the uniform! He'll never know! MWAHAHA!

>>10440994
gotta include how everyone but alicia kills us when they find out we weren't actually dying

alicia of course already knowing that fact

>>10440953
I say we show it to the maids when we get home, and give it to whomever fails their cunning check hardest.

>>10441007
That could work as well.

So ya. Best ideas so far
-give to catgirl
-give to paladin of ...whatever her god is now
-keep until fight with Reg

Still voting for Jehanne

>>10441020
I think the smarter maids have already figured out we aren't dying.

Sam should already know the truth, at least.

>>10441020
actually, I'm prepared for that

"But I am, my therapists always told me I wouldn't get far in life" or something like that

>>10441038
we aren't?

i was betting on at least one more trip to hell before the end of the game

All right, vote time. Make the trade or no? Five minutes while I go grab a beer.

>>10441060
no

yes

>>10441060
Is he dead set on that particular hat? If not, let's go buy him one.

>>10441060
In game, is there any way we know that it's not a hoax? If so, yes, and explain.
If we can't prove it in setting, don't get it.

Not that I care about the roleplaying aspect, but we don't want Alicia to think us crazy(er).

>>10441060
Steal it.

Failing that, give him our hat.

Failing that, buy him a different hat.

Failing that, what the hell, fine, he can have Alicia's hat. We'll buy her a new one.

No. Too ridiculous even for us and everyone will think we've been had.

>>10441072
but that'd mean that everyone could look at the beauty of our maids, that should be reserved for our own pleasure

though felicia would be my secondary vote if we do end up getting it

>>10441060
A hat for a permanude maid with +1 stats? Yes.

>>10441038

>I think the smarter maids have already figured out we aren't dying.

Well, even if we WERE, we've been re-bodied twice, now.

NO

>>10441060
No, Steal the dress.
While he hands you the hangar, let it fall onto the ground, and then hand the hangar back.
He won't notice.
Then, just bend down and pick it up from the ground.
Fold it up neatly, and keep it in your backpack.

rolled 5 = 5

>>10441060
>Check /tg/ before heading to bed
>Find Maid Quest
>Remy is bigger than us
>Not going to get any sleep tonight

Alicia likes the hat, lets run and buy another one for PUSH.

let's get out of there, find a Jack Sparrow and use our shiny new key

Do it. Fuck other peoples' opinions, there's stats to be raised!

>>10441103

yeeeah I say no; half the fun of a maid is in the cute outfit... and tearing it off...

keeping it till the last second when we fight Reg is a good idea; but then we can't fight him in an awesome outfit.

>>10441060

I vote for theft.

Anyone wanting to keep it for the Reg fight is an idiot, because we have the Magician's Suit for huge benefit, and we can remove that, or go into public without lawsuit.

Yes, give it to felicia i guess

Time is up, Tallying the votes nao.

Gonna go with no. Trolling is one thing, but that outfit is permanent cruelty.

You know, Goshujin, with your focus of hats and costumes, I wonder, do you work for Valve?

rolled 1 = 1

Thinking about it, would it also raise our sexing stat? And if so, would it be a perma-condom and be stuck with a waterproof invisible outfit?

>>10441221

who fucking think of shit like this

>>10441214
It's a byproduct of using MAID RPG. That book has fucking lists and lists of costumes.

> Yes: 4
> No: 6
> Steal: 3
> Make a Different Offer: 2

"Sorry, PUSH," you say, "but I don't think I'll need this. However, if you want, I can get you a hat of your very own."

"Oh, would you? Would you please? That would be fantastic!" PUSH declares.

A quick trip to the hat store later, and you've gotten PUSH a large pith helmet to wear.

"Wow, thanks!" the recycle bin declares. "Now I'm dressed for the job! Okay, gotta go and help keep this park clean. Bye now!"

And with that, he trundles off to another part of the park.

>>10441250
People who participate in Maid Quest apparently.

>>10441250
4chan. Now shut up and think of ways to pedosex the lolimaid.

>>10441221
No and no.

Think of awesome shenanigans to get into, guys. Disneyland has to have ADVENTURE

>>10441284

congrats, you have made the man who runs Maid Quest do a mild "lolwut"

>>10441303
we could always fight a dinosaur

2d6 roll, please.

>>10441265
Follow him. Follow him closely.
See what nefarious secret deeds he's up to.

rolled 5, 5 = 10

>>10441313

rolled 2, 5 = 7

>>10441313

rolled 3, 1 = 4

Well I'm feeling awesome.

>>10441323
>Two high numbers
Thanks, anon.

>>10441318
follow push to his dark lair?

rolled 3, 6 = 9

>>10441329
Correction, was.

>>10441323

Not bad at all.

>>10441329
Nope

>>10441323
Wow I'm actually not rolling shit for once.

>>10441344
it was probably just something you ate

>>10441336
Yes.
PUSH holds dark and terrible secrets.
They will be secret no longer.

>>10441371
We just gave the dude a hat, we can't betray him now.

>>10441396
He's machine. That's like dinosaurs

>>10441396
but there's no better time to betray a person than immediately after giving them a hat

the jubilation turning to bitter crushing dissappointment is so delicious

>>10441371

the fuck does PUSH stand for, anyhow?

>>10441323
> All right, let's see what the Random Event Chart says. . . 55 doesn't make much sense, let's go -1

> Random Event 54 - A starving T-rex (Attributes 5/Spirit 10) emerges from the jungle!

>>10441312

As you watch PUSH glide away, you are filled with a sense of pride and happiness.

This lasts for a few minutes before the screaming starts.

"RUN RUN RUN!" someone shrieks. "THE DINOSAURS HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF DINOLAND U.S.A.!"

As you turn to where the screaming and fleeing tourists are running from, you see a huge fucking T-Rex roaring and chasing the fat Japanese vacation-goers.

Alicia's expression <-

>>10441434
Take her to watch the show!

And by show, I mean the fleeing people.

>>10441434
Well, get behind cover and shoot it, for fuck's sake.

>>10441434
"Wanna pretend that none of this is happening and go to mgm?"

"Alicia, if the weird ever stops, would you marry me?"

Get it to sic on us, use our key, bait him into otherspace

>As you turn to where the screaming and fleeing tourists are running from, you see a huge fucking T-Rex roaring and chasing the fat Japanese vacation-goers.

HAHAHA OH GOD YES

I JUST THREW MY HEAD BACK AND LAUGHED, JUST LIKE THIS
<--

Use illusion magic to confuse and disorient!

>>10441458
>shoot it
Bitch, please.
We'll take it down with our bare hands.

>>10441434

Look for a triceratops and ride it into battle! That's the T-rex's arch enemy!

>>10441493
Is it a girl T-rex or a boy T-rex?

>>10441474
i shall build a room shaped and painted like that in my future house, not moving of course. but people who walk in will likely walk into walls

>>10441512

WE'RE GONNA FUCK THE TRAP IN THE ASS AND YOU CAN'T STOP US HOMOFAG

rolled 4, 2 = 6

>>10441434
>My face when I see a real Dino and imagining PUSH to sound like CL4P-TP

>>10441512
No, you did not just go there.

>>10441459
I would have been so happy if you guys decided to do this. But since it seems people want to fight. . .

>>10441512
Would you like to spend your first round action getting close enough to find out?

-----
YOU: Spirit 20
ALICIA: Spirit 30
SUE: Spirit 10.

WHAT DO?

I'm strongly tempted to say; find a relatively safe location and watch the show.

Is higher ground to be had?

>>10441531
Well that was random. I was suggesting an attack to the T-rex's genital region.
But if you wish to be a megagay homofag, so be it.

>>10441546
challenge sue to a game of poker, cheat

>>10441540
>imagining
No, it's very similar. No imagination needed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0JY0UZe5jc

>>10441546
*Shrug* Shoot T-Rex.
Have Alicia do whatever magic bullshit she usually does to attack the T-Rex.
I get the feeling there's something else that should be done here, but I don't know what.

Produce handgun, do it with magic instead of going for the reach around, we have an image to keep

>>10441546

MALCOM, FREEZE!

>>10441546

How's our offensive magic inventory doin?

Is it to late to leave?

>>10441546
No, spend our first round action asking Alicia if she wants to fight it, or just watch it chase people, or go off and do something else.

Personally, I'd be interested in watching Disney deploy their presumed forces to deal with this. Let's see what the lich has in hand to protect his park full of children's dreams.

Fire the Ass-Canon™ at the bastard. Aim for the eyes, I want to take the skull home and mount it over our fireplace.

>>10441611
>>10441612
>>10441561
Yeah, if you don't want to fight, you can climb the tree of life and find safe haven from the dinosaur while park security handles it.

The other option people are leaning towards seems to be using the ass cannon to shoot the thing.

>>10441612
This.

Or you know, just... punch it where it hurts the most.

>>10441626
We'll need a larger fireplace then.

+1 for seeing what Alicia wants to do.

Magick ourselves invisible.

Watch the show.

>>10441632

Climb the tree of life, then attempt to jump on Sue's back and RIDE that bitch.

rolled 3, 2 = 5

>>10441568
>My face on the realization that I need to go to a Disney Park

>>10441632
Shooting a creature the size of a T-Rex with a gun small enough to be pulled out of our anus on short notice is a terrible plan.

Watch park security. It'll be way better than one of their silly movies.

>>10441632
Let's not pull the ass cannon out at disneyland. Let's see how the code Nabokov guys handle a Trex.

Cancel >>10441644
Do >>10441648

>>10441632
conjure up some popcorn and sit in the tree of life with alicia to watch the show

>>10441632
Go to tree, chat Alicia up on what to do to spend a calm evening

>>10441648
>Climb the tree of life, then attempt to jump on Sue's back and RIDE that bitch.

Is it a girl T-rex?
Then we can seduce it.
And THAT means ...
that we can TAME it.
And THAT means...
we can have our own T-REX MOUNT.

Approve of this plan y/n?

>>10441686

I was gonna say "lay hold of a nearby chain (from a barrier or whatnot) and use as a bit.'

>>10441686
no

>>10441669
>>10441667
>>10441665
>>10441659
>>10441648
>>10441644

"Well," Alicia," you ask. "Do you want to. . ."

"I'm on Vacation, and I just got out of Hell. Let's not get involved," Alicia says.

"Sure thing."

You climb up the Tree of Life and find a branch relatively high up where you can watch the drama ensue. As you settle down on the branch to watch, you see a bunch of Japanese tourists cowering behind a fence, as the T-Rex claws at them.

"So," you ask. "Having a good time?"

"It's okay," Alicia says. "Pretty fun, but a bit tiring."

From the outside of the park, you see a bunch of huge bald guys charging into the fray, yelling, "CODE CLEVER GIRL, CODE CLEVER GIRL!" at the top of their lungs.

>>10441686
I have a feeling that we'd need to somehow finesse this plan with magic.

How much magic would we need to use to make this work?

>>10441733
"I'm glad you let me bring you, Alicia."

>>10441733

Meta but what in the world was 55 anyways?

>>10441733
>"It's okay," Alicia says. "Pretty fun, but a bit tiring."

Loli have nap in tree.
Loli have nap now.
Pat loli!
protect loli while loli naps.

I love how every time I think I've figured out what you guys want to do, someone comes up with a badass plan while I'm typing and everyone jumps on the bandwagon. . .

>>10441738
Well, let's be fair. . . this isn't entirely magic. So if you want to try out this plan and have a chance of succeeding. . . you'll defeat the T-Rex in "Combat" to tame it, then spend 10 XP to get it as a mount.

"If you keep living in the mansion, vacation time is on the house"

use magic to stick the t-rex's feet to the ground

>>10441733
Wait a minute. If "clever girl" refers to a t-rex on the loose, what would they use if the raptors escaped?

>>10441810

>>10441777

> Out of Food.

I was using the "Wild Kingdom" chart, which usually applies to jungle adventures.

>>10441810

Here~ kittykittykittykitty

>>10441788
Let's do this shit. We can have it carry us around the park so Alicia won't be as tired.

>>10441810

CODE YOSHI CODE YOSHI

>>10441788
i'm ok with just watching the battle

popcorn would be a nice addition though

>>10441777
Out of food. Will you go search for food, or eat something that isn't normally considered food?

I have a rulebook too. ;)

at most, we'd use magic to make a minor illusion to distract the damn thing, either to lure it under the tree, or lure it away if we fail and it tries to chomp us.

>>10441788
Well it's a T-rex mount isn't it.
Then our Loli can have a nap, on the back of the T-rex.

Magic missile it, we can do it without attracting attention

In fact, let's give magic to Alicia so she can missile it

>>10441788
Eh... it would be cool, but we don't really need it. We'd have to feed it and crap anyway.

Let's just watch and talk with Alicia. Ask her if there's anything she'd like to do before we go home, while we're the only two around.

>>10441891

But she doesnt want to get involved.

Cant we just watch?

Anyone have that image of a viking fistfighting a gentleman-raptor with a maid on it's back?

It's shockingly related right now.

We're in autosage territory now.

>>10441849
+5 XP for MEIDO RPG.

All right, if you fuckers want to tame a T-REX. . . LET'S DO THIS SHIT!

You stand up as the T-Rex starts to trample over the hapless park employees. "Well," you say. "What say we save some money on transportation?" You jump off the tree, your wizard coat teleporting onto you, as you cast a spell. . .

Someone roll 1d6 for a MAGIC attack.

rolled 1 = 1

>>10441952
1

>>10441973
Delete your post, quickly!

rolled 3 = 3

>>10441952

>>10441973
>>10441973
This is epic fail win

>>10441973
I hate you.

>>10441973
GET OUT OF HERE COMMIE!

>>10441997

New thread.

Magic a grand piano over its head

>>10441973
One goes in every field, clearly.

And here I wanted to just have a nice chat with Alicia...

>>10441973
If you try to fail, and you succeed, then what the fuck did you just do?

Can you force a 1?