File: 1360685479727.jpg-(79 KB, 594x396, Chef+Ainsley+Harriot+Prom(...).jpg)

79 KB JPG

>Sitting in the dark, reading these threads.
>No music, just rainymood.
>Entertain me.

File: 1360685539740.png-(952 KB, 1642x1404, the-hero-tg-deserves.png)

952 KB PNG

>>23123454
Admit it, OP, we all know you just want to see how this turns out.

File: 1360685693076.jpg-(130 KB, 873x678, 1360683166483.jpg)

130 KB JPG

>>23123517
Don't forget her side of the story, with our friends at mirror /tg/

>>23123546
I would post the picture of that, but... Well I'm a bit of a noobie to 4chan, and for some reason it won't let me post the picture, as I posted it in the old thread. It says: Duplicate file exists here.
Can anyone help me with that?

>>23123577
try changing the filename?

File: 1360686037838.png-(100 KB, 1366x438, In other.png)

100 KB PNG

>>23123546

>>23123598
You need to change the image type, or edit it in some way.

>>23123598
>>23123601
So once you've posted an image once you can never post it again? Seems a bit backward.
And thank you good sir, I'm the fellow who made the "Give her the dick" cthulu pic.

>>23123639
You can repost the image once the thread falls off of page 10.

>>23123664
Ah. Anyway, sorry for dragging us off topic OP. Let's get back to the nightmares shall we?

>not using the suptg archive.

IT's like you are really a homosexual

File: 1360686591175.png-(16 KB, 300x250, GRf3MraLRY-4.png)

16 KB PNG

Waiting for the guy to come back. Highly unlikely that he will die from the looks of things.

>>23123717
suptg is down right now.

>>23123739
Well he's in class, so should only be a few hours.

So there was a time when I was a frequent sleepwalker, I'm not the best at remembering dreams. But what I did do, is terrify the shit out of my family.

When I was around 8 years old, my mum awoke to find me standing behind her bedroom door, allegedly facing the window, I talked at a hushed whisper, apparently switching topics at random, as well as tone of voice. At one point I allegedly talked about sheep, sounding incredibly happy, then out of nowhere my voice dropped and I just said. "They're coming." then my mum started actually getting scared and woke me up

>>23123898
>out of nowhere my voice dropped and I just said. "They're coming." then my mum started actually getting scared and woke me up
Seems to me you were about to say something important. Shame she had to go and wake you up.

Shit like this is why we don't get any good prophecies anymore.

>>23124009
Personally I'm more interested in the sheep.
Now, I have a few other stories, if anyone's interested.

>>23124031
Regale us with your tales, bard of slumber.

>>23124041
Well here. I only have one good sleep walking story, but I have plenty of other stories...

ACTUALLY

This story isn't about me, it's about my mother, when she was young.

My mum sleep walked just like me, but she was much worse, one particular time she got out of bed, unlocked the front door then managed to walk 3 streets, she was in fact heading for her uncles home. And it was her uncle who found her, he was coming home late from the pub and saw her on the street in her pyjama's right in the path of an oncoming car and tackled her out of the way.

Now, this story isn't that interesting until you learn something about my mum

All through her life up till around when she was 30. She saw dead people. She would blink and when she opened her eyes, there would be dozens of people who were clearly dead walking around, and though they didn't seem to be interested in her, their eyes were always locked on her. Then she'd blink again and they were gone once more.

And when her uncle asked what she was doing alone in the street, she said she was following grand-dad.

Who had died the year before.

I have one story, the only supernatural shit that has happened to me and I don't remember it because I was 3.
I didn't speak until I was about 3y old. This worried my parents a lot, since most children start speaking even earlier. That year my grandma's brother, Valentine, died in a motorcycle crash. I don't remember how much time has passed but later that month (or was it a few months after his death) my grandma walks into my room and starts talking to me "where's #anon? There you are!" And I just look at her and go: "My name is not #anon, it's Valentine". I can confrim, many bricks were shat. And after that incident I started speaking. No idea what the fuck was that, nobody ever mentioned his name around me, I don't even remember the guy but here you go.

Hey, going back to the matter of teddy bears being our best defence.

The only plush toy I still own is a tiny rabbit my mom made for me while she was still pregnant with me, so technically its a few months older than me. It's lost all of its fluff and both its ears, it's been repaired so much it looks like frankenstein's monster. But I still keep it, because it's been with me my whole life.
...
Is that like... The ultimate defence? Or is it not as good as a literal teddy?

>>23124167
I still have a blue blanket my Mom bought for me when I as born. Sometimes if I'm having trouble sleeping I'll cuddle it like when I was a kid. Sounds lame but it works.

>>23124227
This thing is like, the size of my hand. I still keep it in my bed, under my pillow.

Oh and, I do have Max, a plush toy dog I now use as a hatstand, he sits on top of my warddrobe. Wearing my bitching fedora

File: 1360689327394.png-(160 KB, 1315x1656, juliet.png)

160 KB PNG

I posted this on /x/ back in the day, before /x/ was shit. Some anon back then was nice enough to screencap it, so I guess it's worth posting here, for anyone interested.

>>23124296
Oh vundebah. Thank you for the contribution, sir!

File: 1360689983342.png-(818 KB, 1632x2485, the hero tg deserves.png)

818 KB PNG

Updated that shit, yo.

>>23124436
Busting makes /tg/ feel so good

File: 1360690932848.jpg-(58 KB, 650x350, Mayhem is Everywhere.jpg)

58 KB JPG

>>23124436
>mfw /tg/ starts imbelishing the story before it's even finished
I suppose it's only a matter of time before this anon's haunting gets turned into a setting of some sort.

File: 1360691184450.jpg-(7 KB, 119x149, dramatic entry on a bunny.jpg)

7 KB JPG

>>23124640
Hey man, we know our duties.
Giving the dick to things that really shouldn't be dicked

And making said dickening a tabletop campaign

As a psychology student, I find these threads very amusing.

>>23124723
If we discount the possibility of these being genuine supernatural encounters, on a scale of 1 to 10 how insane are the anons who experience persistent visitors that they interact with?

>>23124795
Not very much as long as it's only in bed. Some of these sounds like classic Sleep paralysis.

>>23124817
Or just very real dreams, effects of minor sleep deprivation, things you mistake for other things in the dark, or just plain old stories.

>>23124817
I have a single visitor I've met 3 times, and seen many times more. But all but 1 time, they're in public places, and my friends have seen and commented on her as well. And she's also interacted with my physically. Shall I get into this story?

>>23124861
Sure, I enjoy storytime. I won't discount any story as untrue since that's not the point of storytime. I just find it fun to reflect on them.

>>23124861
Hell yes

File: 1360692188589.jpg-(88 KB, 511x510, Fedora Dog.jpg)

88 KB JPG

>>23124167
That rabbit will help protect you, for he is obviously a veteran of many battles, hence his war wounds. You should be fine.

>>23124227
Blankets are nearly as good at defending against monsters as hiding behind the sofa is.

>>23124261
>plush dog
>wears a fedora

"Here's looking at you, kid."
>pic related - the dream-time incarnation of the dog

>>23124887
>>23124892
The first story I mentioned in the previous thread, I'm tired so I'm gonna copy paste

she never scared me in the slightest. First time I saw her I was 11 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night and saw this blonde, 20 something girl sitting at the edge of my bed, even though the room was dark I could see her perfectly, like she was lit from within. She wore a white tanktop and jeans. When she noticed I was awake she just smiled at me and reached forward, lightly ruffling my hair. Then she left the room, she came back a few minutes later with a glass of milk, she waited for me to drink it, then sat back down at the edge of my bed and just lightly stroked my hair until I fell back to sleep. Now I would've taken this as a dream, if it weren't for the fact that the glass was on my bedside table when I woke up

The second time I saw her was down at the beach where I walk my dog. I'm a bit stupid in that, from time to time, I take it upon myself to climb the small cliff face there, it's not particularly tough so I never saw it as a problem. But this time as I grabbed hold of a rock to pull myself over the lip, it cracked off from the rest and I lost my footing, going to fall to what was almost certainly to a broken spine. But then something gets my wrist, I look up and she's standing at the lip, one arm holding me up by the wrist, the other wrapped around a tree for support. Without too much effort she pulls me up over the lip, then when I go to thank her for well... Saving my life, she just grins at me and shakes her head before going back onto the path and jogging around a corner, I move to follow, but when I round the corner, there's no sign of her.

>>23124996
The final time I interacted with her was last year.
I was in the city with a few friends, coming out of KFC after having lunch when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to find her standing behind me holding my wallet.
"You forgot this."
That was the first time she'd actually spoken to me, and the only way I can describe her voice.... Well it's playful, and almost cheeky, but I can feel a certain affection from her.
I responded with.
"Oh, umn, thanks." (Kinda lame, I know.)
She gives me a grin and says
"I swear you'd be screwed if I weren't looking out for you."
Then before I could respond, she turned on her heel and walk away.


Every now and then, I see her in the city, usually sitting by herself in a cafe, or on a train going by, or in a crowd for a moment, but gone from it moments later, she always winks at me as I go by, but, well I don't know, I don't approach her because for some reason I feel like I shouldn't actually talk to her unless she wants me to.

>>23124996
>>23125058
This is the type of spirit you give the dick too!

Seriously though, you're a lucky guy.

>>23124996
>>23125058
Sounds like a rad guardian angel. Thats mad lucky bro. Is she hot?

>>23125087
I can only say she's my guardian angel or something, which might explain one thing from my past.

When I was 13 I was runover by a bus, I suffered heavy lacerations on my face and arms, but only a broken collar bone, even though I was thrown a good 10 metres by the hit. The doctor said it actually doesn't make sense that my spine isn't broken, but I came off well enough to leave the hospital later that day

Sure I was hit by the bus, but I like to think it's thankts to her I came out as well as I did

>>23125121
Yes, blonde, thin, long ponytail with a few loose bangs. She always wears the same white tanktop and pale blue jeans.

This anon >>23123107 reporting in.

As per your suggestions, I left a small ruby on the nightstand as an offered gift for my visitor, slept nude, and remained as passive as possible in order to see what she would do when left undisturbed.

At 1:47am, I was awoken by the faint whispering sound that had often accompanied my visitor in the past. I looked towards the source of the noise and saw that it was indeed my pale visitor, standing a few feet to the right of the bed staring at me. As far as I could tell, there were no words or even a discernable rhythm or pattern to the whispers, just a continuous stream of soft atonal sound. I glanced at the clock and went back to sleep.

Some time later, I awoke again to find my visitor lying to the right of me, facing me as she had the night before. Not sure of the time as I could not easily see the clock and did not want to move. She had one arm across my body, and was tracing a fingertip along the various bones of my torso. Collarbone, sternum, along some rips, hipbone, and so forth. Eventually, this gave way to a more general caress. Several times her fingers briefly brushed over my penis, but she paid no particular attention to it. I got the general impression that her touch was more exploratory than sensual. A few minutes passed like this before she stopped moving and simple lay motionless at my side. Some time thereafter I drifted off to sleep once more.

[cont.]

>>23125306
[cont.]

Later on I awoke again to find her lying more or less on top of me. It felt as though some time had passed, but judging by the darkness of the room it was still several hours before dawn. She was motionless as usual, and had her lips pressed to the base of my neck. I will say at this point that sleeping in the nude was a most excellent idea. The sensation of her cool lithe body stretched out full length against me was distinctly enjoyable, though it is worth noting that she has no observable heartbeat. Feeling increasingly cold, I pulled the covers in close around us and out of curiosity I placed my left arm across her back, hugging her against me. For a moment I could feel my visitor tense and I feared that she might vanish as she had before. On the contrary, she relaxed and sort of writhed against me for a moment before resuming her habitual stillness. Unfortunately the feeling of cold remained unrelieved (if anything it seemed to grow worse) and while I did my best to remain awake as long as possible, at some point about an hour later I lost consciousness and did not wake again until morning.

Rather worryingly, I found that there have been some lingering negative effects to her visit. I feel as if I haven’t slept in a week; complete and utter exhaustion in mind and body. I could barely keep my eyes open in class. Hell, just breathing is tiring. And I have this persistent feeling of cold. The thermostat says it is 75 degrees in here but I might as well be sitting in the refrigerator.

Also, though I didn’t see her take it, the ruby is nowhere to be found. Gift accepted?

Anyway, I’m starting to wonder if I made a mistake. I suppose it’s too late to turn back now. Suggestions on how I proceed from here?

>>23125139

I also walked away from an accident. Was driving down a country road, around 60 mph, drifted too far and overcompensated. Went across both lanes of traffic, took down a utility pole, and rolled my car. Walked away with assorted minor abrasions, and a hematoma that developed afterwards.

Don't really have a guardian angel that I know of, though. Maybe it's because I'm agnostic.

>>23125320
She's stealing your energy. You're gonna have to do something about that or dicking her will kill you.

>>23125320

your doing gods work keep at it
leave a flower tonight kiss her back

File: 1360694337072.jpg-(57 KB, 400x296, You're Boned.jpg)

57 KB JPG

>>23125320
>>23125306
I think you know how this is going to turn out, anon.

If you have an possession of value, I'd suggest you write a will before tonight.

>>23125320

That might just be from you waking up repeatedly throughout the night.

>>23125408
Anon should tell us what town he lives in. That way if he never responses we can check the local paper and look for any weird "Young man dies in sleep" obituaries. Then we'll know.

>>23125320
Optimist here. Maybe it's just a coincidence and you've come down with a nasty flu from college that has nothing at all to do with your nighttime haunting?

File: 1360694698553.png-(42 KB, 486x1329, 1348022491629.png)

42 KB PNG

>>23125320
I would say keep at what youre doing. If she's draining you it may just be innate. Most guys dont bang spirits or whatever, so we may not know. And she definitely seems to be warming up to touch and your awareness of her presence, so thats a big plus. It may just take some time. If you feel like crap turn the thermostat up more if needed, and just hope for the best. The gift seems like it worked, so I guess the next logical step is communication.
But Im not quite sure how to go about that exactly yet.

>Be young.
>Play prank on my brother: turn on the lights, or some electrical apparatus in the middle of the night, so he have to get up to turn off everything before going back to sleep.
>My brother curses at me, I giggled and run back to my room.
>Before getting into bed, I loose the light bulbs and unplug everything.
>Go to bed, after a few minutes there it goes: the click of the switch, someone is trying to turn on the lights.

At this point, I turned around to watch at the switch and I saw my brother, covered in darkness, his hand on the switch. I smile, congratulating myself on being clever enough to prevent his revenge, so I keep watching him trying to turn on and off the lights. It was weird, because it was late night, but somehow my brother was darker than the shadows around him. It could be said, my brother was nothing but shadows, a ethereal and solid object made out of nothing, but shadows.

Anyway, I ignored, my brother exasperated, wave his arms in frustration and went away without telling a word.

>I fall to sleep.
>Later on the morning, I mocked by brother on his attempt to prank me.
>My older brother tells me that my little brother never get up or move out of his room, neither him.
>I remember something: the shadow who was trying to turn on the lights at my room have short, very short hair, almost bald. My little brother had long hair, the same length than my old brother.

>>23125501
If she can touch him and interact with him then maybe she can also write stuff down? But then she probably doesn't know English.

>>23125522
why would an ethereal shadow creature try to turn on a light?

File: 1360694976376.gif-(51 KB, 321x240, Bishop_up_close.gif)

51 KB GIF

I've never had a night horror, but i've never had a dream either.
When I need to sleep My eyes close and then I wake up 6-8 hours later.
Once someone taped me sleeping because they thought I was having dream but forgetting about them.
Turns out I don't go into REM sleep and go straight from asleep to awake even if i'm deliberatly woken up.
If a person or animal moves around near where i'm sleeping i'm awake, especially if its a patterned movement.
When I am asleep I don't move, I allegedly barely breathe and my body temp drops right down.
My friends joke that i'm a souless monster or some kind of biological robot.
I think they might be right.

>>23125320
Do you have one of those fever thingies that measures bodily warmth?

>>23125444
So much fucking this. It's college. You WILL get sick while at college.
>>23125411
This also makes sense.
>>23125320
Assuming you're on the level, how is it she's shown up twice back-to-back? I've never seen my "visitor" and been lucid at the same time, and she never seems to show up when I'd like her to.

All I got last night was a dream that I tripped over a curb and broke my knees. Woke up and my legs hurt.

>>23125559
Bullshit. You tell lies to feel special, if any of this was true you would be making tons of money as a legit sleep study project.

>>23125594
>assuming you're on the level, how is it she's shown up twice back-to-back?
I have no idea. Until a few days ago I had not seen my visitor in four years. Perhaps I'm losing my mind, but it feels quite real. Not at all like a dream at all.

I once lived for two weeks in the abandoned, burned out farmhouse on my parent's farm after they kicked me out of the house.
Now, this was not easy for me, as I have always been paranoid and had never, till that point, slept alone in a room or even in a bed (9 siblings in a 2 bedroom mobile home is no picnic...) and in addition to the above, my older siblings had a few ghost stories they liked to tell about the place.
I'm open minded, but skeptical of things I haven't actually seen, so I largely dismissed the stories but still was not keen on the idea of sleeping alone in someplace that had been abandoned for so long. There were the coyotes and bobcats we had dealt with attacking our animals in the past, after all.

(Continued...)

Shouldn't this be more the realm of /x/.

/tg/ is atheist scientists.

>>23125559
utter bullshit, you dream every single night, period.

>>23125550
I have no fucking idea!

Honestly, I have this idea the shadow was my brother, who died that year and used to had the same haircut I saw, and I guess would enjoy playing pranks on us too. It kinda made sense. Become a shadow, turn on light, the light made you disappear (as you are a shadow and such), intended victim turns around to watch after the responsible, but is all alone in the room.

Nope.jpg

But, as I said, I have no idea who or what happened there.

>>23125306
>>23125320
>Anyway, I’m starting to wonder if I made a mistake. I suppose it’s too late to turn back now.
It seems to me that this creature is quite skittish. Surely it would be trivially easy to chase away if your really wanted to be rid of it.

If you end up dying, you've got nobody to blame but yourself.

>>23125792
and we will fuck the supernatural for SCIENCE!!!.

>>23125792
/tg/ doesn't say "lie" or "untrue" in a storytime thread.

>>23125792
You are mistaken, sir. /tg/ is SCIENCE!

/x/ would tell anon to light candles and draw a pentagram to ward off his nightly tormentor. We tell him to fuck it and report on the details.

>>23125784
So the first couple nights, nothing unusual happened besides the expected insomnia from my usual fear of sleeping alone, and in the dark.
I fixed the light issue with some old christmas lights I scrounged up from the attic, and that night was also uneventful.
After that it started to get odd. The next night I kept suddenly awaking hearing -something- upstairs, but I could never make out if it was part of a dream or something real, and it never repeated itself after I was fully awake.
The next night the noise was from the stairs. I was sleeping in a place where I could see up the stairs, as the dividing walls on the ground floor had been torn out after the fire.
There was, as I expected, nothing actually there, and I have heard weird things while half asleep my whole life, so I was concerned, but had an easy explanation handy so I could eventually get back to sleep.

(Still continued...)

>>23125792
I assume this being he is trying to fuck isn't a deity, in which case, why is this incompatible with atheism? Atheism is strictly against the idea of deities, creators, etc - nothing I know of suggests you can't be an atheist, and believe in ghosts/fae/etc.

>>23125998
i wouldnt say /tg/ is atheist, mor of agnostic. there might be something, there might not, no reason to jump in one wagon or another.

just fits /tg/ the way i see you fucks

Man, people have interesting stories to share. My best would be returning to places about I already dreamed. Sometimes even years after I had dream involving them.

One is interesting: there was a small ravine, with two small spruces, one old log and a big grey rock. First time I visited that location I was around 10 or something. I was just walking around, looking at the grass and shit, because the place looked interesting and had a nice feeling to it. Then freaking BEAR came out of nowhere and started chasing me. Woke up at some point.

Next visit, there was only one spruce. There was no trace of the other one. I was 16 years old or something at the time. Surprisingly, I completely REMEMBERED the place, including the bear. Yet he didn't came. I remember that I was sad and a little unsettled.

Few months forward, I came there again. This time I met the bear, sitting on a log. I joined him, patting him twice on the back. He didn't make any noise, but I knew he noticed me. As far as I can tell, we just sat there, feeling totally like old friends.

Never been there again. Never met him again.

File: 1360696912003.jpg-(629 KB, 1024x741, 1320281749897.jpg)

629 KB JPG

>>23125888
The hypothesis is that it is fuckable, the null hypothesis is that it is not fuckable. This is testable, as if the guy dies, clearly it was not fuckable. If he fucks it, clearly it is fuckable and we must reject the null hypothesis in favor of our prime hypothesis that spirit/dream entities may in fact be fuckable.

SCIENCE.

>>23126034
Oh, definitely - agnosticism is the most scientific method, after all, since we don't have proof either way, so deciding 100% one way or the other would be unscientific.

Still, anon trying to dick his supernatural visitor and reporting back to us gives us vital data on how we can interact with these beings. I can only imagine the possibilities and applications for cross-breeding with them, if possible, as they might have any number of genetic benefits that would help mankind.

>>23125306
>>23125320
Keep up your good work, anon, for we need to discover if these creatures are weak to human dick. If they are, then we have our first line of defence against them.

Am I the only one that keeps thinking Homo Novus when OP describes the ghost?

>>23125966
After that is when the dreams started. Intense, realistic, and horrible dreams. All of them had fire, and all of them ended with me burning to death and awaking to stare at the ceiling, barely breathing and sweating profusely.
After a few nights of this, i simply couldn't sleep anymore and just waited, staring up the stairs for hours in the dim, multicolored light.
And that's when I saw her. Thin, twisted, so transparent and ephemeral as to be barely more than a wisp of smoke. She gave no sign of seeing me, and simply drifted slowly down the stairs, across the floor and right past me, through the wall behind and into the darkness.
I followed through a broken window as soon as I could gather my wits, and assumed she was headed for the old holly tree in the yard outside.

(Conclusion follows!)

>>23126098
We have to define fuck, if he dies while fucking it is it not fuckable?

>>23126098
Wouldn't it still be fuckable if he gives it the dick, and he still dies? I mean, yes, it would then show death to be a side effect, but it would show that fucking the creature is still possible. We would just then have to figure out a suitable method of protection that allowed for humanity to fuck them, but not suffer the after effect of death.

We would also need to test it with multiple elegan/tg/entlemen and supernatural beings, as well as with ca/tg/irls and supernatural beings, to see if gender, etc, is a variable that can change the outcome.

>>23126098
It seems to me from reading his account that the most likely outcome will be that anon dies during or upon completion of the act of fucking it.

How would we interpret such results?

>>23126139
>>23126146
while yes it is still fuckable in the letter, in spirit, or the practical fuckability, would be shown as a net of zero, as you cannot brag about it later because of an early onset of death.

I don't have anything like being haunted by demons or stuff and frankly I'm not sure I believe you guys but I don't want to be a hypocrite because I know there's some weird shit out there. Only time anything kind of like that happened to me when was camping in Maine. Woke up in my tent to a sound like someone was talking gibberish really fast through a radio with the treble turned down mixed with the wind. Figured it was just the way the wind was blowing through the trees and went back to sleep. Next morning there were dozens of bare footprints around my campsite. Not like sets of tracks but footprints in random places in the dirt. Left foot here, right foot 5 feet away pointing a different direction. Some of them where right outside my tent. Got the fuck out of there that morning. Never did figure out what the fuck that was.

>>23126174
You're disregarding after-life bragging rights. I bet fucking that thing gets you at the Napoleon, Einstein and Mercury table of bragging.

>>23126173
>>23126146
>>23126139
The problem is that from a purely scientific perspective, that outcome is not observable given the structure of this experiment.

If anon dies, he will not be available to report the events preceding his death. While it may be possible he fucked it and then died, there will be no way for us to observe the difference between that and an outcome in which the creature kills him outright before anything sexual happens.

>>23126249
No we'll have to consider the experiment a failure if he dies.

However he could still survive and observe that it is indeed unfuckable.

If you're still in the thread, how is getting a boner around her? I imagine it could be hard with the cold and all.

>>23126249
This means only one thing...

Comrade Anon, you must set up a webcam to watch you while you sleep, that /tg/ can watch, so we can verify the existence of the creature, and also verify whether you did indeed give her the dick or not.

Seeing whether you survived or not would also be useful, and would allow us to seek medical attention for you should complications arise.

>>23126174
but that is based on if an afterlife exists at all, which we agreed earlier is not quantifiable at the moment.

>>23126139
>>23126146
>>23126173
I choose to define "fuckable" as something that may be fucked repeatably. If you die during the first attempt, then yes, you CAN fuck it, but it isn't "fuckable".

>>23126283
thus, proving the wisdom of those before us,

Pix or it didn't happen

>>23126308
I think that is one proverb all of /tg/ can agree with.

when i was young (about 5) i would have repeat nightmares about this wooden mannequin in my bedroom at night. It was carved from wood like red mahogany, and its face was only just carved into a suggestion of a brow and nose, the rest was smooth. it freaked me out a lot until we moved house, when i never saw it again

>>23126292
What if you keep your boner and someone helps you fuck it while dead?

>>23126283
I don't wanna see a dude's dick.

I like this method >>23125425

>>23126336
Now that's what you call rigor mortis.

>>23126337
You wouldn't be, if he was under the covers. Plus, this is for scientific discovery. You think scientists don't do certain tests because they would prefer not to look at dicks? You need to look at this in a scientific, dispassionate manner, not a sexual manner.

File: 1360698075938.jpg-(43 KB, 376x490, george-clooney-picture-2.jpg)

43 KB JPG

>mfw anon is most likely making stuff up

>>23126132
Now, so far as we can tell, the house was empty when the fire happened, about 70 years ago now. It was apparently an electrical fire, and afterwards the house and property lay abandoned until my family moved a mobile home onto the land about 20 years back.
And yet, under that aged tree, in the dark and the cold, I found a irregular stone about the size of my head, with a crude 'M' scratched on it.
I don't know what it stands for, but after that night the dreams and the noises stopped, and I slept peacefully the next two nights until my eldest brother came by to pick me up, for I had asked to move in with him after the falling out with my parents.
They pulled down the old house recently after bees colonized it, but the stone is still there, sitting quietly under the tree.
Nowadays, when I visit the farm I always make a little time to go and sit by it, clear off the leaves and moss and maybe lay a flower beside it.

>>23126391
>good end

>>23126336
Then you're not actually doing the fucking. You'd be like a zombie dildo.

>>23126269
While I'd like to think that my erectile function is as robust and indiscriminate as befits a fa/tg/uy, the more than passing similarity between my visitor and a corpse does make it a bit challenging. It wouldn't be so bad if she just moved a little more. Towards the end of the night when she briefly snuggled up to me I was definitely at "half mast" so to speak.

And I don't own a webcam, nor am I buying one on your account. I'd much prefer to go insane or be killed by the horror than to have 4chan watching me naked as I sleep.

>>23126336
>>23126468
Oh god, this thread has taken a rather dark turn.

>>23126387
It's as real as George Clooney's heterosexuality.

Which is to say about 50% chance either way.

>>23126499
Could you take your temperature? You mentioned feeling cold.

>>23126429
Heh, gland you think so. Kinda weird seeing it all on paper for the first time, since I've never really told people about this before.

>>23126499
>go insane
>have 4chan watching me naked as I sleep
Yeah, same thing really.

I wonder how I could make things like this more likely to happen. I could use a little excitement, and having a lucid dream or being visited by some crazy extra-dimensional dream lady would fit the bill.

>>23126574
whatever the fuck it was just wants to be remembered. hard to blame a soul for a littel recognition, right? sure, it took horrifying and fucking with you, but in the end dont you feel better off paying the ersatz tombstone a little respects now and then, like you mentioned?

>>23126629
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

If there are any true stories in these threads that would explain a lot of them. It can be self-induced.

>>23126544
I seem to be around 97°F. Perhaps a little low, but not meaningfully so. I still feel more or less the same as when I posted before.

>>23125425
I have to subscribe to this.

>>23126652
As Cohen the Barbarian once said, "Somebody's got to to remember the poor bugger, yeah?"

>>23126767
>>23125425
I live in St. Louis.

If I die, I'll probably be the only obituary for a person under the age of 30 that doesn't involve being shot to death.

>>23126832
>I live in St. Louis
I'm sorry.

>>23126832

>St. Louis

You'd be better off moving away with your ghost waifu to another plane of existence. My condolences.

>>23126682
I dunno, try eating some chocolate and drinking some juice. Like what you'd do after giving blood.
Gotta get that Vitality back.

File: 1360700122683.png-(870 KB, 1670x1982, the hero tg deserves.png)

870 KB PNG

The official account of Anon's adventure has been updated. Feel free to add Descartes or whatever other silliness as you wish.

May god have mercy on Anon's soul.

>>23126991
Meh, it's possibly some sort of lucid dreaming combined with somnambulism.

>>23125320
I have a suggestion, anon. Just for the sake of finding out if it can interact with the physical world or whether it is specific to you, try lining your floor with crisp and unwrinkled sheets of tin foil right before you go to bed and see if there are any footprints or indents in it when you wake up.

I did this when I was having horrible nightmares to prove to myself that everything was happening in my dreams and not in real life.

A couple threads ago you mentioned that the covers were thrown open when she seemed to get startled and run away, so this little foil experiment has the potential to yield some interesting results.

>>23127169
The point isn't what it probably is, the point is to bring an element of fantasy into everyday life. Without that sense of wonder and possibility, we might as well be robots.

>>23127279
Beep boop.

>>23127279
>we might as well be robots
>>23127344
>beep boop
The matrix has you, Neo.

>>23127279
/m/ has taught me that even robots can dream.

>>23127279
Agreed. Even though I don't necessarily consider myself a superstitious person, I still find the back and forth about it quite interesting.

I find these threads to be a great inspiration for creating fantasy or horror settings/stories because they are a good look into people's heads to see what we fear without being too over the top about it.

>>23127382
It's most interesting when a skeptic is the one things happen to. We always end up trying to rationalize or explain it, but almost invariably can never PROVE that our explanation is the infallible and objectively correct one.

>>23125425
Not to be a downer, but if Anon dies, checking the obituaries won't help much.

Since he appears to live alone, it could be weeks or even months before his body is discovered. Probably not until the landlord came to evict him for unpaid rent.

File: 1360703477595.jpg-(29 KB, 396x385, Sad Frog.jpg)

29 KB JPG

>>23127702

>>23127702
Nah dead humans smell really terrible, someone would probably complain about that first.... Unless ghosty freezes his body for a while.

>>23128101
>>23127702
Hmm. If anon does not report back in the morning, how long should we wait before declaring him dead?

File: 1360704720660.png-(984 KB, 1632x3000, the hero tg deserves.png)

984 KB PNG

>>23126991
Sillyness has been added.

>>23125320
>>23125306
I'll have you know that my dick is diamond hard right now reading that.

>>23128335
A true masterpiece. Let us hope the story does not end too soon.

So it clearly wants to fuck but doesn't know how

Sensual experiences with it results in feeling drained and tired

It's otherwordly

What if it's a newbie succubus, working her ass off to claim her first victim without even knowing the tools of the trade yet?

>Three threads on how to seduce supernatural entities

Never change.

>>23128974
>Sensual experiences with it results in feeling drained and tired
I'm not entirely sure that's the entity's doing; Anon's in college, which is a draining time as is, but he also had a very sporadic sleep pattern last night, waking up often and such.
It's entirely possible that the tiredness is unrelated to his otherworldly friend.

>>23128974

Or maybe a vampire. Not the bloodsucking sparkling exaggeration our cultures made, but something more subtle and, well, "natural".

File: 1360707440434.jpg-(102 KB, 1280x720, [AnCo^2] Durarara!! - 12 (...).jpg)

102 KB JPG

Ghostfucker Anon, if you're serious about this make sure you see a psychiatrist to make sure you're not schizo. Don't mean to be a downer since it's a cool story.

File: 1360707823695.jpg-(33 KB, 628x479, 1359672342284.jpg)

33 KB JPG

>>23128335
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.

I think it was the ruby that did the trick.

>>23129199
To get the diagnosis Schizophrenia it's not enough to simply hear voices or see hallucinations. They have to hamper your life in some way for a substantial amount of time. That said, these would be easier to explain on sleep paralysis or dreaming rather than schizophrenia and unless he is seriously fucking up his life I don't think he'll get a diagnosis.

Psychologyfag from earlier.

File: 1360707911070.jpg-(14 KB, 288x227, Psychic Vampire.jpg)

14 KB JPG

>>23129138
You mean like a psychic vampire?

>>23129371
More like a succubus.


Oh shit.

File: 1360708581875.png-(194 KB, 1600x1200, Zodd's_Reaction.png)

194 KB PNG

>>23129371
They say psychic vampires can actually leech your life essence more-so than just energy.

>>23129371
Which is basically a succubus

File: 1360709155721.png-(81 KB, 492x886, 1358719047315.png)

81 KB PNG

>>23129625
Nah, he had it all wrong. People can choose to be Psychic Vampires and leech off others if they wish, including actually sucking their soul as well. I don't think I've heard of a spiritual entity with the latter capability, but I won't be surprised if there are.

As for the succubi, they vary, but none should be able to suck your soul.

File: 1360709479145.png-(70 KB, 202x246, paranatural.png)

70 KB PNG

>>23129765
>Embodied Cubare can be found on OkCupid.com

>>23129765
And here I was thinking a succubus was a feminine demon of varying attractiveness that stole your semen and gave it to an incubus so he could impregnate someone with it.

>>23129923
Alternatively, the succubus /is/ the incubus and merely transforms between genders depending on whether it's making a withdrawal or deposit.

>>23129199
not all hallucinations are related to psychotic disorders

>>23129947
This is true.

>>23129765
it had me up until the okcupid part

>>23129947
But this raises another question, perhaps one of the most important question /tg/ has ever dealt with.

If a succubus can transform into an incubus at will

Is fucking a succubus gay?

>>23130018
It's a demon. I'm almost certainly they laugh at our petty notions of sexuality. It probably counts as bestiality.

>>23130018
A succubus can be whatever the you want it to be. Some people like to add a picture of what they want to appear in their dreams. Really, a spirit doesn't have a gender.

Summoners of ritual magic will tell you the manifestations they've seen could include a fucking peacock head on a human body.

File: 1360710504429.jpg-(26 KB, 317x475, 89622.jpg)

26 KB JPG

>>23130088
To be more specific, the peacock head thing would be a distinct signature of a particular spirit. Pic related has some actual drawings, though I don't recommend actually reading the material because it's watered down to shit.

I really need to do homework...

File: 1360711268569.jpg-(225 KB, 800x549, Carmilla.jpg)

225 KB JPG

I once dreamed that someone I know was a vampire, covered in blood in my dream and when I woke up I saw that person crouching next to my bed and I was unable to move.

fucking sleep paralysis. Incidentally I finished reading "Carmilla" a few days before, were exactly the same thing happens with the protagonist.

So after the initial shock and being able to move again I actually thought this was awesome.

File: 1360713074316.jpg-(412 KB, 2560x1600, alucard-hellsing.jpg)

412 KB JPG

>>23125337
>Guardian angel anon again. Good morning all.
I in fact disapprove of all forms of organised religion, discluding buddhism and a few other monastic groups, I believe in god but more for conveniences sake than I actually "worship" him. My view has always been that he got things going for us not so that we could spent all our time praying to him, but so that we could live as happily as possible. So yeah, I'm agnostic to.

On the subject of actual dreams, the scariest ones I've had tend to be somewhat esoteric. There was one which involved swarms of hypercarnivorous pipistrelle bats in a giant cave that we went to for a school trip. They managed to set fire to my school in between eating people.
There was that dream were I got turned into a superfast, non-reflective vampire and then was segregated from the other kids at playtime.
There was that one where I was in the sewers and being chased by some well-built green humanoid giant with a jaw the envy of any deep-sea predator and a face that looked like it had headbutted a woodchipper.

>>23131260

They...set the school on fire? How'd they manage that?

I've had a dream that's stuck with me for years. It started off pretty normal. It was nighttime and I was headed to my place of worship. When I got there it started to rain heavily, which wasn't a big deal since I like rainy nights. While I was sitting inside the rain got a little thunder in it. And as I continued to sit there I slowly began to realize that it wasn't thunder.

Suddenly a god damn Tyrannosaurus comes bursting through the wall, roaring all over the place and stomping on some people. Soon everyone was fucking dead except me, I was pissing myself in a corner. The big guy approaches me and roars in my face. I distinctly remember fucking flames coming up from his throat.

And then the dream ended.

I generally don't remember my dreams. The ones I do remember usually involve bad things.

I remember one where I was in a school bus driving down a dock. The bus driver tried to pull a U turn and the bus fell of the pier and into the water.

I could hear the intercom telling the people on board to exit the bus through the emergency exits. I saw the other people leaving. The bus sank deeper. I couldn't move. It got dark. I couldn't breath.

And then I woke up.

>>23132026
I have absolutely no idea. Then again, I could also turn myself into a liquid in that dream, so... yeah.

>>23132038
I have a lot dreams bout having to drive down a highway it is the utter terror for me as someone who has never learned to drive.

>>23131260
The scariest dream I've ever had was about being chased by killer plants in a hotel, in broad daylight. Wherever I'd go, killer plants. Plants in the floor, plants in the windows, plants on the ceiling; it was inescapable. In hindsight, it wasn't even that creepy. The plants were pretty mundane and I could see everything perfectly. I remember thinking after I'd woken up how odd it was that I was so scared. But dear god, for the short time I was dreaming that dream, I experienced the most intense fear I've ever felt. In terms of sleep paralysis stuff, there was once a nurse named Margaret that yelled "Theory" at me when in a very cheerful voice. That was more exhilarating than terrifying.

My subconscious isn't very interesting.

Not really horrors, but related.
I've had a series of dreams over the past few years, though they are quite rare. The basic gist is that I live someone else's life for a long period of subjective time, anything from a couple days to a few months (that one was so bizarre to wake up from...) But anyway. Usually I start out at an interesting point in the life, after just getting a job, or preparing to break up with a SO or what have you. This usually plays out over the next several days and invariably ends when I make a poor decision and am gruesomely killed by it. The multiple month dream was a particularly good run, as I kept that life going long enough to actually fall for a girl and become engaged, the end came when a car hit me in a McDonald's parking lot as I was walking her home from a date. I still have feelings for her, but since I'm never the same person twice in these dreams I know I can't ever see her again.

>>23132839
Holy shit I wish I could have dreams like that

>>23132839

>that feel when I'm not the only one who's fallen in love with a girl who's only been in my dreams

That shit sucks.

Sleep paralysis? most notable experience was waking up on the floor with a haggard, hideous old crone bent over me cackling and taunting me. scared me shitless, but I retained enough composure to brute force my body into working enough to headbutt her. I felt it connect, but she disappeared almost immediately after I got past the paralysis. Got a bruise from it, which I assume was some kind of psychosomatic thing.

>>23132869
The problem with dreams is that you have to wake up. And the best dreams feel the worst to wake up from.
>>23132883
It's... yeah. Losing her hit me hard. It was all just so -real-...
>inb4 'not as hard as that car in the last part'

So you thing she's going to appear again?

>>23133042
If she understands the esoteric and mythical significance of a ruby, yes.

>>23132839
Damn man, I know that feel.

I've had those dreams where you build up a deep emotional connection to a girl or have a happy family of your own and a job that you love and feel like you've been living that life since the day you were born.

I hate waking up from those just to realize that the people that I loved and the accomplishments I worked towards were completely snuffed out the second I opened my eyes. It sounds so strange to feel love and pain for things that never even existed, and to be nostalgic of events that never happened.

I miss my dream girl.

>>23133098

Don't worry, you and her are very happy together in a different universe.

>>23133135
Ya, but I'm sill a bit pissy that it isn't in this universe.

Fuck alternate universe me. That lucky son of a bitch.

>>23133181
If that's true, then in an alternate universe I've been eaten alive by bats. I'm pretty damn happy with this universe

>>23133071
>the esoteric and mythical significance of a ruby
Which, for the uninformed, would be...?

And how did this paragon of Descartes manage to acquire said precious stone on such short notice, anyhow?

File: 1360721335265.png-(196 KB, 342x359, 1360529146844.png)

196 KB PNG

>>23133199

And I've (implied to have) been fucked up by a Tyrannosaurus of completely unknown origin.

I'm happy here as well.

>>23133250
Long story short, he may as well have left a wedding ring.

File: 1360721461334.jpg-(15 KB, 640x480, Give Her The Dick.jpg)

15 KB JPG

>>23133250
>It is the chosen stone of Leaders, Kings and Priests for its ability to guide and help make wise and noble decisions.
>It is said that the power of Ruby is in its encouragement to follow your dreams and your bliss, helping you to change your world.
>The Ruby is filled with love. It also helps sexual love to be more passionate.
>The Ruby is also said to be a symbol of life and blood.

Basically, by gifting a ruby to the creature, he has pledged his blood, love and life to it, and expresses his wishes to give her the dick.

>>23133250
It's an uncut ruby from a failed business venture is what he told us.
As for the meaning of Rubies:
>It is the chosen stone of Leaders, Kings and Priests for its ability to guide and help make wise and noble decisions.
>It is said that the power of Ruby is in its encouragement to follow your dreams and your bliss, helping you to change your world.
>The Ruby is filled with love. It also helps sexual love to be more passionate.

File: 1360721736518.jpg-(22 KB, 509x203, YouJustGotNINJAD.jpg)

22 KB JPG

>>23133402

>>23133348
Could have been fucked BY that same tyrannosaurus.

>>23133445
You just copied that from the other thread like I did!

>>23132839
>>23133098
What if your current life is a dream?

Wake up

File: 1360722019016.gif-(444 KB, 119x152, I'm out - WLISA.gif)

444 KB GIF

>>23133445
>Papyrus Font

>>23133380
>he has pledged his blood, love and life to it

anon is fucked

>>23133199
>>23133348
You guys are lame.

What's the point of life if not to plot creative and original ways to die?

File: 1360722177814.jpg-(24 KB, 200x288, Science will fuck you up.jpg)

24 KB JPG

>>23133531
Fucked for SCIENCE!

Which is the best kind of fucked.

I don't have anything really interesting to tell about, but it might be of interest that I recently escaped a dangerous situation in a dream by intentionally waking up. Also, I apparently tend to be much more capable of remembering my dreams than most people, which may or may not be related.

>>23133531
Well that was kind of the goal here...

Alleged paragon of Descartes here. Sorry I've been absent for a while, but I drank an indecent amount of whiskey in an effort to cure myself of that lingering cold feeling and was lying insensible on my sofa for most of the afternoon. It doesn't seem to have worked all that well, and now I'm drunk as well as apparently doomed.

Anyway, have I missed anything important?

>>23132981
Man I know those feels. I had a dream at 14 of wetting this redhead at my comic shop. She was pretty, not incredibly but still pretty, and knew my favorite things. She was cool. Super cool. And then I woke up after a month of being with her.

Then at age 16 I met her in real life. Not everything happened the same way. Our first kiss was different for example. But she was a redhead I met in a comic shop that was super cool and used to be homeless. So the big things were there. A month later she is pored and disappeared. She no longer worked where she worked, she no longer lived here she lived, the only thing was her phone number and she never picked up.

I lost my mind for a bit, I thought I was still dreaming (inb4 inceptionfag). I tried to kill myself before this, I have clinical depression, but never could do it. This time was the closest I got. I just wanted to stop feeling like nothing mattered. But I couldn't. Still can't shake tat feeling sometimes and I hallucinate so that just makes it worse.

Moral of the story? Fuck lucid dreams.

>>23133790
You messed up, now you'll be drunk or approaching a hangover for her visit tonight

>>23133811
I never get dreams like this. Just surreal kooky stuff that looks live-action GMOD. Why can't I have deep, emotional Hollywood dreams?

>>23133790
Other than the fact that you're basically blood-bound to a succubus?

>>23133790
Did you save any for her? We should try and find out if dream entities can get hammered.

SCIENCE!

>>23133790
We seem to have determined that by leaving that ruby out, you symbolically offered her your life and blood forever. Her acceptance of the offering would suggest that she intends to take your life.

>>23133891
THIS.

Time to wine and dine her fine spectral ass before having consensual sex in the missionary position

>>23133790
It's okay, you're not completely doomed.
You know how to deal with drunkenness and hangovers, right?
In case you don't: Take a couple of aspirin. Drink water. LOTS of water. Like, as much as you can get down without throwing up and/or pissing yourself. Get some vitamins and antioxidants in you if you can. Berries, citrus, fruits, stuff like that. Can't hurt, right?

As for the mystical voodoo-hoodoo, can't help ya there, but I'd assume you want to be in as stable and sound a state of mind as possible.
Is there a psychologist in the house?

>>23133856
Don't. You don't want his curse. I see things everyday that aren't there. I have to convince myself of that so I don't just lose it. It's hard for me to leave the house cause new areas can fuck with my sense of reality. If I'm not familiar with something I can get lost in hallucinations. If I ant remember how I got somewhere I think I'm dreaming. Used to keep a journal so I always could remember my day. Was thinking of getting one of those things from Inception so I could always tell if I was dreaming.

>>23133790
We've decided that your visitor is a succubus, or a vampire, or an eldritch abomination, or a ghost, or you're crazy.

>>23133181
>>23133199
Yeah, even if I survived the car hitting me, (which I doubt, seeing as I saw at least one major organ get smeared across the pavement) I don't imagine I'd be in any shape to lead a very fulfilling life.

>>23133790
Don't drink after an experience with her. Strong alcohol will actually lower your body temperature.

>>23134004
Or a fae creature, or an embodiment of Death.

Don't forget those possibilities.

>>23134005
I'm >>23133856 and I've shot myself in a dream, died, and kept walking like a zombie without waking up.

>>23133790
Listen to >>23133991

Most importantly, BE AWARE of your drunkenness. We've seen that she's skittish, and you're in an uninhibited state. Do NOT push her.

>>23134029
To clarify, it lowers your core body temperature slightly, but MOSTLY what it does is it contributes to dehydration, which exacerbates any other conditions like hypobaropathy or hypothermia. Trust me, it's a BAD idea.

>>23134062
Who her is going to include this in their modern fantasy game? Cause I fucking am.

>>23133911
>>23133869
Oh god what? I thought I was just leaving a pretty little trinket out for her. Oh well, I suppose there's nothing to be done about that now.

>>23133829
>>23133991
Don't worry about me being drunk. In my experience I tend to sober up quite quickly, and I should be entirely back to normal by the time I go to bed around midnight.

Has anyone stopped and considered that ghostfuckeranon's night time visitor is a hag? That would explain the life draining effects and the fact that she only appeared during your childhood for the most part.

He should dump rice on the floor and see if it starts counting them. Supposedly hags have ODC and will stop what they are doing to count piles of small scattered objects.

>>23134219
But every other supernatural creature has that, vampires do too and I bet a few others. We'd get barely any data and possibly scare her off.

>>23134219
>ghostfuckeranon
He really should namefag or tripfag with that name.

File: 1360725464394.jpg-(1.82 MB, 1600x1295, night hag.jpg)

1.82 MB JPG

>>23134219
From his description, it doesn't seem to look like a hag. Like at all.

Night hags are almost always shown as short, squat, dark skinned creatures that kinda crouch on top of their victims.

>>23134428
Personally I think Paragon of Descartes makes him sound more badass, and his inevitable dicking shall live in legend.

>>23134428
Why bother? I mean he's probably going to die tonight; seems a little late in the game to tripfag.

Besides, I like that he's stayed anon. It's like he's doing it for all of /tg/.

Some helpful advise from /x/!
>You know I was thinking, maybe he should leave some instructional charts on how to git 'er done so it could, you know, follow along and get some vital educated on the matter?
>Been 2 nights of fumbling about now, it's just getting silly. I'd have purple balls if I were him.

>>23134561
We haven't even been able to establish communication with the creature yet, and you're talking about giving it flowcharts?
We're talking about an unknown, possibly extradimensional being here. How are we even sure it can perceive electromagnetic radiation?

We really should have made sure it passed the Harkness test before going forward with plan D.

>>23133531
Hrm, perhaps by pledging your life to it and the resulting exhaustion means that it is literally assimilating you into it.
Hope you like the idea of sharing a conscious.

Maybe that's how it does marriage, not that its any different to our version. Dohoho

File: 1360726438819.png-(168 KB, 500x647, Harkness test.png)

168 KB PNG

>>23134724
ALWAYS USE THE HARKNESS TEST!

File: 1360726636358.jpg-(163 KB, 600x600, 1334997509288.jpg)

163 KB JPG

>>23133930

>>23134724
A picture is worth a thousand words!

>>23134734
In my view they already ARE sharing a consciousness. As in, she's already a part of his mind.

It's all very Jungian.

>>23133991
advil before bed increases chance of hang over

>>23134830
Do you think a picture of a human male silhouette with the genital region circled in red along with a pictogram of intercourse, would convey the message easily?

Sorta paranormalish maybe, more self-induced brain fuckery. If anyone remembers that tulpa thread about a month back and someone commented that they thought they might have had one when they were younger that kinda dissipated. Since then I've been concentrating, dedicating an hour or so to visualizing him and speaking to the idea of it each day. I do believe he's starting to show up again when I'm not thinking about him. Occasionally my thoughts take a strange turn and refer to myself by a different name, motion from the corners of my eyes.

Seems to be working, look forward to talking to him properly again.

>>23135033
Yeah. Pretend you're trying to teach sex to a retard who doesn't speak English.

>>23134753
The Harkness Test isn't very useful when dealing with incomprehensible extra-dimensional horrors.

Something like what anon is trying to fuck may not even have a relevant answer for the question of age and sexual maturity. It's not really communicative in any meaningful way, so intelligence is hard to determine, as is consent.

File: 1360727610414.jpg-(264 KB, 791x737, creepy couple.jpg)

264 KB JPG

Y'know, I've never had a nightmare.

I've had a few recurring dreams that I can't recall until I actually get in the dream, but the real money is on the dreams that try to make themselves nightmares.

For instance: Zombie apocalypse. Trapped in a car garage/office building. My Colonial Marine buddies are being slowly picked off one by one. Xenomorphs everywhere. Facehuggers latched onto zombies like headcrabs. Soon its just me and I take matters into my fists, punching the shit out of zombies, judo-flipping Xenomorphs so hard the burst open and melt zombies but ohno the zombies are getting acid everywhere and there are holes in the floor so I drop the high yield bomb I suddenly remember I'm supposed to blow this place up with, then Spider-Man my way out of the building. The building is disintegrated while I give JJJ a pressed ham.

The only ghosts I ever encountered were during my tenure at the local haunted movie theater.

>>23135046
San loss is no laughing matter. Take care lest you go mad.

>>23135056
Everyone knows that incomprehensible extra-dimensional horrors aren't covered by the Harkness Test. They're automatically okay to fuck.

>>23135085
Is this a variation of the old "It's not rape if it's an elf" thing?

>>23135075
Oh shush, I already have something crossed in my brain that lets me 'see' sound in colours and the occasional smell. A little more san loss can't hurt.

>>23135098
Yes, only it's pretty much impossible to rape incomprehensible extra-dimensional horrors since they don't have a concept of rape. However, you do, so it's best to just skip all the mental anguish that comes along with being brutally raped by things that exist as a mass of tentacles, teeth and 497.5 degree angles and just go along with its desires.

>>23135075
Yea, that to a tee. I had a mental break when I was twenty two, now. Have a secondary conscience in my mind. It's cool since I can talk to him like a person, but we don't tell everything to each other and I'll pass out during the day and he will take over.

Insanity is hard o deal with. I make money as an English prof with a few short stories as supplemental income so I can't risk taking drugs and losing that spark.

Saying that its nice to have company and a bit adventurous.

>>23135145
Huh, I've been sleepwalking since I was little. I often write notes to my sleep-self and sometimes he'll write back. He also demands bananas and will trash my kitchen if he can't find the customary banana on the counter. Took me a week to find the brownie pan last time he hid it on top of the cabinets. Had to get a ladder to get it down, must have thrown it up there.

>>23133811
Man that is a supremely shitty deal, I feel for you.

At least with my emotionally attached dreams I know when I wake up that it is all gone forever and there is nothing I can do about it. Even though it sucks and puts knots in my gut I still have closure.

>>23135033
It may be too early. She's still trying to explore a male body, give it a night or two, let her make some progress of her own. If you're lucky, she'll come up with something herself

>>23134538
We can at least pretend anon has a chance, right?

I don't want to think we've sent him to certain death.

>>23135145
Having a second conscience is great though, I developed one in my teens because of loneliness, best thing I ever did. I'm never lonely anymore, always have someone to talk to, share ideas with or even roleplay

>>23135385
I still say if she wanted to kill him she would have YEARS ago.

>>23135369

Might ram a finger in an eye socket at this point.
Better to give her a guideline.

>>23135385

You're having a laugh if you think he's going to survive this in one piece.

>>23135430
She may "accidentally" kill him during the dicking. Seems like neither of them know what they are getting into, or what could happen afterwords.

>>23135385
Definitely certain death.

>>23135430
The description of her visits in the past seems significantly different than what he's describing now. I get the feeling that this is heading for some sort of final resolution, whether that resolution be sexual or lethal or both.

Perhaps the greatest danger is that anon's visitor, in her apparent naivete towards the mortal world, just snuffs out his life accidentally. Or that she decides to take him "home" with her and brings his soul but not his body.

>>23135268
What does he-you do with the banana?

>>23135285
Heh thanks. I guess at the very least I'm somewhat rare right? Who says we can't be speshal snowflakes...haha

Worst I ever had was this one time I got really sick and had to take the fuck-you-up aspirins.
>this was around the age of the N64
>Big Boo's Haunt
Later that night
>Can't sleep tossing and turning
>the drugs take hold
>eyes wide, look at my wall
>Big Boo materializes through it.
>Stares me down
FUCK
THAT
SHIT

>>23135575
Eats it. Sometimes puts it in the freezer. Then he goes about his business as far as I can tell. Have woken up in a variety of interesting places, including the laundry room, a linen closet, my computer (once mid-post on skype asking a friend if he had any cheesebread), and in the bathtub with a rubber iguana (I still don't know where the fuck the rubber iguana came from). Has never left the house (as far as I can tell).

>>23135033
Just make sure you show it from the FRONT.

>>23135033
What if she misunderstands it and changes her form to have a huge, bulging, spirit-infused, demonic 22" horsecock to violently tear your anal virginity from your grasp?

I'm masturbating furiously right at this moment

>>23135835
This is just making me think Slaanesh is fucking (with) our hedonis/tg/entleman more and more.

>>23135835
That sounds somewhat less than ideal.

Also, Descartes-anon here. That other fellow was not me. I have no intention of leaving porn out for my visitor. There are just too many ways that could go horrifyingly wrong.

>>23135835
she was descartes all along, and descartes-anon was the one meant to recieve the dick

>>23135902

Suit yourself. I'm thinking, and just follow me here, your visitor isn't even organic.

Doesn't breath? Cold to the touch? Seems like some sort of probedroid to me. Never thought that whole idea of greys being robots was accurate but who knows? Personally always thought they're what we are to apes to dolphins. Don't ask.

Anyway. Think it's feeling you about to figure out your anatomy. Counting bones and such, strange stuff. Not sure why though, we have books on the stuff already, could just go to a library.

Then again we still dissect animals even if we know what's inside. Bit long for a lab experiment though. Guess they want to see how you grow and change before splitting you open.

>>23136008
>Counting bones and such, strange stuff. Not sure why though

Constructing a throne of bone is a delicate process, to properly collect the required materials, one has to calculate both size and number before killing the victim.

>>23135902
Smart move, though I suppose she understands it about as well as you do being a dream/mindform created entirely by your own consciousness assuming it works the way I think it's working for me

You know. Psychological. Rational.

File: 1360731310991.jpg-(42 KB, 400x400, Biggie Inception.jpg)

42 KB JPG

>>23136061
What if, get this, we're all just manifestations of some guy's subconscious? All of /tg/ is just a collection of tulpas or whatever in the mind of a crazy person in an asylum somewhere.

>>23136140
2deep4me

>>23136140
The world is in my head, so it's technically true.

>>23136140
CHIM

>>23136140
Amusingly enough, that's rather similar to one of Descartes' philosophical arguments.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil_demon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cartesian_doubt

>>23136140
So if someone tells me to go fuck myself, it could be seen as a sexual advance?

>>23125320
>>23125306

boner

>>23136475

I imagine the X-Files theme going into a sort of smooth Jazz transition for the scene.

>>23136140
Je pense donc je suis.

File: 1360733585037.jpg-(21 KB, 225x225, image.jpg)

21 KB JPG

>>23136537
www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

>>23136619

There we go.

Paragon of Descartes should throw this on for some added atmosphere.
I'm sure it'll help set the mood.

This anon >>23133790, >>23134211 reporting in.

I’m not sensing a lot of optimism about my odds here, and I must admit I’m feeling more than a little trepidation about the coming night. I am unfortunately more sober than I might wish, and feel as close to death’s door as I did in the morning.

I guess there’s nothing for it but to see this through to the end. If luck is on my side I’ll have stories to tell in the morning, and if it is not, well I suspect I’ll have stories that I won’t get to tell.

Any advice before I head off to bed?

>>23136689
Well, all I can say is play it slow.

>>23136689
If you get a chance to talk to her, ask her not to leave you so drained.

>>23136646
Man if he does mirror /tg/ will be amazed.

>>23136689
Just be careful, OP. Would suck if you died.

>>23136756
>meanwhile on \gt\

>>23136689

What this anon >>23136725 said. Remember, she's a spectral lady, not a spectral whore. If she was a ghost ho you would have been ravaged 20 time over already.

>>23136774
We all know tht if dies, he dies for the best cause. A bard cause.

>>23136782
Also get a saxophone. Bitches love saxophones.

>>23136619
Sleep with a remote, turn this on when she appears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j3okb3kuts

Load up on cheesy, terrible lines, shit the quality of "Baby I'm sure you know all about eternity, but you aint got no idea how long i've been waiting for you"

>>23136865

He also has to make sure to say it in as low and gravelly a tone as possible without sounding stupid.

>>23136689
>Any advice before I head off to bed?

Keep a blunt instrument near you.

>>23136689
try to get a hard on next time she is lying on you or feeling your body.

>>23136689
Remember you may never dance again and go slow, guilty feet have got no rhythm. Though it's easy to pretend we know she's not a fool.

>>23136774
No, if OP dies, it'll be BECAUSE she sucked.

>>23136865
>>23136619
Don't be silly. We're trying to seduce an supernatural creature here. Gotta think about it from her perspective and play some music that would appeal to a nameless horror from the infinite blackness beyond time and space.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHt5ODPjy9s

Alternately: Yakety Sax.

>>23137101
Speaking of seduction, is two martinis and a pint of beer too much before a date with the girl of your dreams, or am I good for another martini?

>>23137101
George Michael spans every dimension, including those that don't exist within the fabric of space time.

>>23137128
Better to get drunk with her on the date than show up drunk.

File: 1360735692033.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 210 KB, 760x596)

210 KB JPG

Prediction for our close encounter.

>>23137146
I can't get drunk with her, so I'm getting drunk beforehand instead.

>>23136689

>Any advice before I head off to bed?
flowers and a glass of wine as an offering this time
remember you take with you the hopes and dreams of all /tg/ with you
mat Kirk and Descartes protect you

>>23136689
Don't listen to any of these last minute suggestions that you leave things out for her.

Last time you did that you inadvertently pledged your life and soul to her forever. While it may not be easy to fuck up any worse than that, do you really want to risk it?

>>23137128
Eh, you're probably OK for one more. As long as it's a manly James Bond Martini.

>>23137330
... I suppose I could improvise a vesper, but I've got no vodka.

It's just as well.

>Glowing gurl that doesn't look human-ish too much is visiting OP every night
>She put her lips on his neck everytime
>He is just about to die

Smells like nosferatu in there.

>>23137230

Well when I suggested a blunt instrument, I was talking more of a weapon than an offering. In case things go south.

Then again it might use it on him, so it really depends. Find out in the morning I guess.

Or on the news in a week.

>>23137393
One of the earlier threads suggested a psychopomp, which makes sense in some contexts.

>>23137357
HOO. I made a manly appletini instead: apple pie, rangpur gin, a dash of vermouth, and a couple drops of angostura.

Holy shit.

>>23137449
Son, you sir are no James Bond.

>>23136725
>>23136745
>>23136774
>>23136782
Duly noted.

It is my intention to proceed as I did last night and allow my visitor to do as she pleases. If I should die, let it be known that I went to my fate willingly in pursuit of knowledge and sensation.

As always, I will endeavor to report my experience in the morning. If you have not heard anything from me by tomorrow afternoon, you will know what has happened.

Good night and good luck, elegan/tg/entlemen. It’s been an honor.

>>succubus comes back with her eyes on your soul
>>you roll over stinking of booze
>>she finally speaks
>>"b-back dat essence up"
>>you vomit on her and start farting

>>23137425
>Or on the news in a week.
Odds are his death would appear to the coroner as a simple heart attack. Death by "natural causes" in one's sleep doesn't tend to make the news.

You'll never find out. He will die and go unremembered and unknown to all the world.

>>23137453
Hey, ease off. I have no vodka and no lillet. So I mixed some flavored corn whiskey, some strong gin, and evened it out a tad.

Besides, the whole "shaken not stirred" thing is not the behavior of a gentleman. A proper martini should always be stirred: film-Bond was famous for ordering a subpar drink in an arrogant manner. The vesper is a fine enough drink, especially with grain vodka, but he only ordered it once and you can't make it anymore, since they changed the formulation of Kina Lillet years ago. Now the closest you can come is Lillet blanc with a bit of quinine powder added, which is how I used to like to make the drink.

tl;dr don't argue with a functional alcoholic over the finer points of imbibing.

File: 1360737656771.jpg-(119 KB, 600x418, 341234545634.jpg)

119 KB JPG

>>23137479
Godspeed.

>>23137479
Godspeed, brother. You're doing good work.

>>23137528
Who's to say the pale girl won't eviscerate him and paint horrifying occult symbols all over the walls with his blood and entrails?

Surely that would get a few minutes on CNN.

>>23137479
Good luck and godspeed!

>>23137618
That doesn't seem her style. Besides, as I have stated numerous times, the probability that she is a physical being is INCALCULABLY low.

One time when my girlfriend was sleeping next to me I woke in the middle of the night. I sat bolt upright and with complete conviction said "Slenderman's in my closet."
Of course in reality it was shadows playing off my suit hanging in my closet, but my sleep addled mind saw Slenderman, and my easily scared girlfriend couldn't get back to sleep for the rest of the night. I slept like a log.

Another time a similar thing happened where I awoke and the grim reaper made of shadows was standing at the foot of my bed. I couldn't move at all, couldn't look away. I *knew* that I was helpless. So I thought/said "If it's my time, just take me." The figure slowly faded away until I was once more alone in my room.