Now you have to figure out what to ask the MILFy matriarch first. You can hardly decide. TIME FOR DRUNK DIPLOMACY!

>What to ask about first?


[ ] [details of the agreement]

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]

[ ] [continue hitting on daughter and mother both at once]

[ ] [imbibe liquor, offer some to Izaya]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 12

>>22330393
>[ ] [imbibe liquor, offer some to Izaya]
then
>[ ] [details of the agreement]
followed by
>[ ] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]
&
>[ ] [continue hitting on daughter and mother both at once]
at the same time while
>[ ] [Imbibe Liquor]

Rolled 19

yay. new HRQ

>>22330393
[ ] details of agreement
then
[ ]questions about the rest of the non-human lands
whilst
[ ] continuing to hit on mother and daughter
and of course the obligatory
[ ] imbibe liquor, offer some to Izaya

Rolled 5

>>22330393
All of the above

>>22330393
[X] [imbibe liquor, offer some to Izaya]
[X] [continue hitting on daughter and mother both at once]
[X] [details of the agreement]
[X] [other] - see if you can drink her under the table and bet that if she can't, she gives you "tail"

>>22330481
you forgot
>[x]offer tail brushing to all in sight

Rolled 2

>>22330527
you are correct, silly me, how could i forget

Rolled 12

Plan from last thread:
[X] imbibe liquor and offer to all present
Then [X] imbibe more liquor whist explaining agreement
Segue/derail into
[X] tails using more liquor

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR HERETICS!

im going to be civil and choose only one option.
[x] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]
>and how she got that much
>implications? implications.
>implying we can't give her 1 MORE so she will become a goddess.

Rolled 1

What kind of boring-ass hobo only chooses one option?
When no options are given we even select [X] imbibe liquor twice (at least)

Apologies, I had to go take a shower and drink champagne like I give no fucks, which I don't.

>>22331166
AND I'M SO GLAD I WAITED.

I should really stop leaving my die on.

Rolled 10

>>22331237
didn't that get you the first 1 of hoboquest this year tho?

All of the above, in >>22330481 's order, if you would please.

Rolled 10

Maybe if I roll hard enough I can get the first 20 too?

Rolled 9

>>22331166
huehuehue. our first 1 of the thread and so soon.

Damn it all, I am getting at least ONE post out before I pass out from the New Year drinking.

WHY DO I ALWAYS START NEW THREADS AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME

>>22331869
Because you are drunk and being drunk isn't good for planning stuff?

>>22331895
WHO NEEDS PLANNING WHEN YOU HAVE ALCOHOL

Rolled 16

Planning?

>>22331936
>>22331936
Did I say being drunk was a bad thing?

Rolled 15

BY THE POWER OF THE NAT 1 I SUMMON THY NEXT POST HOBO KING

>>22332160
I'M TYPING AS FAST AS MY DRUNKEN FINGERS CAN, DAMMIT

>>22332185
Less complaining, more typing.

No booze ration until after the next post!

Rolled 20

It worked. That is indeed a post.

>>22332197
DAMMIT. Now I have expectations to live up to.

First nat 1 AND first nat 20 of the year, Squid. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Rolled 17

Evidently I rolled hard enough.

You thump to the floor, landing cross-legged as you reach back into your coat pockets, from which you pull a bottle of rather high-quality vodka that you managed to poach while that wimpy store clerk wasn't looking. And a bottle of rum. And a bottle of whiskey. And a bottle of gin......

---5 MINUTES LATER---

At least twenty bottles of various liquors sit on the floor in front of you. Satisfied, you turn your attention back to Izaya, who is staring at you with an amused look on her face. You bow as best you can from your sitting position, which, because you're drunk, causes you to nearly fall over.

"As many things as I would like to discuss with you, Izaya----I can call you Izaya, right?" You interrupt yourself, cocking an eyebrow at the nine-tailed matriarch. Your initial gambit may have succeeded (despite not actually having an idea what you were doing), but you're not willing to risk your status as non-crispy a second time.

"You carry on with the silver tongue, and you can call me whatever you like, Lincoln Bismuth." Izaya quips, eyes rife with mischief. Uh oh. You think you may have flipped a switch in this foxwoman.

.......Wait, what the fuck are you saying? FUCK YES, YOU FLIPPED A SWITCH IN THE MILFY MATRIARCH! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY HOBO!

"I think I'll save the sweeter names for a more....private time." You grin, earning a smirk from the matriarch in return.

"Oh dear Glorian, this is not happening." Illiana miserably groans from her spot up against the wall.

"Hey, if you're so impatient for your turn, I could always do the both of you at----"

"MY MOTHER AND I ARE NOT GOING TO---!"

"Well......I suppose it would be good to check how Illiana's.....matured....."

"M-M-MOTHER!?!?!" Illiana shrieks, wrapping one arm over her foxy goods while covering her crotch with the other. Self-conscious, that one is. Which, of course, makes it all the more fun.

"Relaaaaaax, Illiana. Here, have a drink." You toss her one of the assembled bottles, which she snatches out of the air before hugging it to her bosom, still intent on covering herself from the cheeky leering her mother is now directing at her. She stares at the bottle for a moment.....

".....I am NOT being sober for my mother hitting on me......"

.....before ripping the top off and taking a long few gulps of it. You give her a small golf clap at her good show of drinking.

"Wooooo, atta girl Illiana! You need look no further than this for why your daughter originally caught my eye, Izaya. Such spirit." You chortle, grabbing another bottle and holding it out to the matriarch. "Would you like some as well? I guarantee you you've never had liquor like this before."


"Ho. Even sticking to the proper ceremonial drinking traditions.......you certainly keep impressing, Lincoln Bismuth. I shan't mind a taste at all." She reaches out with one of her tails and takes the bottle from you with a wry grin, examining it for a few moments before unscrewing the top and taking a cautionary sip.

She almost immediately splutters, which forces you to bite your tongue to keep from laughing. "Glorian! T-This....I've never tasted such a strong drink! What manner of liquor is this, Lincoln Bismuth?"

"Rum." You reply, pouring yourself....absolutely nothing, what the fuck are you supposed to be? You drink straight from the goddamned bottle. "And if THAT'S your idea of strong, oh beautiful matriarch....." Your grin goes distinctively impish again. ".....then you're in for a hell of a time."

[Roll 1d20 for HILARIOUS MATRIARCH DRINKING PARTY TIME]

>ROLL, YOU BASTARDS
>I'LL DEVISE SOMETHING SUITABLY RIDICULOUS WHEN I REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS

Rolled 8

>>22332307
Mother daughter flirting, drinking, hobo charisma?

Yes.

Rolled 15

>>22332307
oh boy here we go

Rolled 19

>>22332307
LET'S DO THIS.

We still have some of that 96-proof stuff, right?

Rolled 14

Now the roll is relevant it'll be low.

Rolled 13

>>22332336
96? have you no taste, we have 192 proof bottles of sheer happines and joy

Rolled 11

>>22332336
You mean 192 right.
We are not that weak

Rolled 14

>>22332336
Fuck, I meant 96%. Yes, 192-proof.

Get off my back, guys, you know what I meant.

Rolled 10

has any one seen faye?

also let the Izaya meet her grand daughter.

Rolled 17

>>22332383
clearly you've been drinking some of it

Rolled 14

guys no sexing them before zuli!!

i don't want another emotional zuli! episode!!
who am i kidding ofcourse i do, she will be extra clingy from then on."clingy" heh.

Rolled 19

>>22332421
Rather than clingy, I'd rather she was a little more loose.

Rolled 13

But Zulu is always emotional, it's just the emotion is anger.

Rolled 18

*Zuli
Although Zulus would probably be emotional after 192 proof as well ( or unconscious)

Rolled 20

So I wake up to hilarious foxgirl MILF drinking parties?

I have a good feeling about this year.

(Fuck I wanted to delete my post in another thread, but instead deleted this. Oh well. Re-Rollin')

>>22332595
I wholeheartedly agree with what just happened, you should accidentally delete posts in this thread and re-roll all the time.

Rolled 16

>>22332595
it is a good thing you did, ahaha

>>22332595
>>22332603
>>22332604

Well, shit. This year is starting SURPRISINGLY nice.

That means something bad is about to happen. That's how my life works.

Rolled 9

What ho? 2 natural 20's in the same thread? Can we go for 3?

Rolled 5

>>22332614
I know what you mean.

My life is getting into utter shambles, which means more natural 20s, right?

Rolled 16

>>22332642
appears not

Rolled 9

>>22332620
Why not?
Also we should call Zuli in for a "demonstration" of the 192 proof

File: 1357040095892.jpg-(82 KB, 500x688, weta.jpg)

Rolled 2

From now on I can no longer say happy new year.(12:00 where I live)
Also why have spidergirls when you can have this? (Yes it has BAD END written all over it)

>>22332974

Hey man, SCREW you. Give me this bad end and like three years from now on, HoboKing will find an army of huge killfuck spiders, with me standing in front of them. I'll extend my hand and say "It is time. The world is now ready for people like us."

no homo

Rolled 14

>>22333023
Hey, I didn't quite get a 1

For the sake of anyone who wants it, Here is the Story Book of 'The Misadventures Of Lincoln Bismuth, Drunken Hobo Extraordinaire'
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QmsMoDt0fmOclLoslO4vchn04oTdqmdPdZd_7roTYXU/edit

And also the 'Book of HUE's and UNDO's'
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxtD2LOcLrQpM-c9EGLpNLqHPpf4tT2RbtDU-Xs7oQ/edit

>>22332974
Mother fucking weta

Rolled 11

Drunken MILF time!

So, I wake up this morning, and find out that there's already a new HoboQuest thread. And the first thing on the agenda is a drinking party with Illiana's mother, while Illiana watches and even participates. This is literally the first thing I've done in the new year.

It's gonna be a good year, huh?

Rolled 4

We will be one with the booze!

>>22333696
.......

for now.

Rolled 20

Don't you die on me!

Rolled 16

>>22335715
Well, if that isn't an omen, I don't know what is. And believe me, HRQ is going nowhere. At least until Hobo King finishes off his liver.

Just realised, that my name fell off this one...
also, any feedback on the Story Book thus far?

THIS is what I wake up to?

YE GODS, THE NAT 20 PLAGUE HAS RETURNED!

......since it IS in response to a drinking roll, though, I suppose I can let it slide without much grumbling.

Is Deadbrain still up in here? I thought of something else I think would be interesting to draw, if he finds it interesting enough.

>>22339130

Sort of. I am still awake and will be for the next two hours, but I doubt I'll be able to draw something right now, since my break ends and I need to go back to school.

That said - put those ideas up HK. I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

>>22339130

i can do sketches... kind of....

File: 1357077108215.jpg-(52 KB, 674x424, Faceexample.jpg)

The aftermath of the drinking contest, as viewed from a POV on the ground, aimed up at Lincoln, who is sitting in a chair.

Draw Lincoln's face by not drawing it. Have it in the shadow cast by his hat. One of those wreathed in shadow faces, kinda like this (best example I can find off the top of my head).

Other than that, just remember to have unconscious piles of foxgirls and foxboys framing him.

It's an idea. Take from it what you will. Anyone can have a shot at it.

I think the only way to actually draw Lincoln while keeping his faceless protagonist nature is to only ever draw his face in a stylized manner like that. Or just draw it from a perspective where you can't see his face.

>>22339435
I imagined him sitting like a Southern Gentleman. One leg propped up, his hat tilted, and drinking from the bottle.

File: 1357077589610.jpg-(39 KB, 340x530, worm-s-eye-view-500ca.jpg)

>>22339435

Well, this one might be hard to pull off, but it's doable. I needed perspective practice either way.

I'll try to do it from a frog's/worm perspective (pic related). If that fails I'll employ some other manner of making him look intimidating.

As for his face - Going with the 'shadow' idea is the best bet. I'll just place the sun/source of light above him.

It might take a while to finish it though. But I'll do my best.

Rolled 19

>>22339582
Your best is really good, so I'll look forward to the results.

File: 1357080439363.jpg-(117 KB, 690x1853, girls-of-the-wilds-3243435.jpg)

Rolled 3

>>22339435
That Manhwa is awesome. First male student at a formerly all-girls school...for fighting prodigies.

Next page from pic all those girls have camera phones out.

>>22340446

Well fuck now I want the title.

You heard the captcha man. You're bropons 100% YOU CAN'T LET ME DOWN HERE.

>>22340519
Girls of the Wild(s) (depends on who's translating). I'm quite fond of it.

>>22340519
It's in the filename, Girls of the Wilds.
http://www.mangapanda.com/girls-of-the-wilds

Also, my family has company over, so it may be a little while before I can get out the next post. Considering all the twenties rolled, I want to make sure this next one lives up to expectations.

>>22340544
>>22340547

Curse you sleep deprivation! You rear your ulgy head again!

File: 1357081402982.jpg-(46 KB, 742x741, Scary Lincoln.jpg)

>>22339435

Here is my rendition. it is from the eyes of an upside-down villager, led at Lincolns feet. The villiager is most likely thinking/saying "You're some kind of Monster!!!" before passing out...

sorry i didn't do any piles of unconcious foxpeople as i have yet to workout crowds...

>>22340717
Hohohoho. This amuses me.

>>22340736

btw, what do you think of my Compilations, 'The Adventures Of Lincoln Bismuth, Drunken Hobo Extraordinaire' and 'The Book Of HUE's & UNDO's'?

File: 1357081727519.jpg-(35 KB, 355x355, yougongetraped.jpg)

>>22340717
>that face

>>22340761
Your efforts are appreciated; these compilations are truly the Booze Gods' work.

Rolled 20

>>22340761
I like it.
Beats archive searching.
Keep up the good work.

>>22341227

does this mean that Lincoln finds a girl here to write his Autobiography?

>>22341227

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp.

Okay NOW I'm going to sleep. I have hit the stage when typing 'welp' took me five fucking minutes.

Goodnight. I expect to see something awesome the moment I come back from school tomorrow.

>>22341333

i have just had a startling revelation...

the author of Lincolns autobiography will be...

FAYE!!!!!!!!!!

that girl sees all...... she sees everything.... ever...

or some kind of psycic monster girl.... like an Abra girl.........................

>>22342798
You do realize that autobiographies are written by the person they are about, right?

>>22342969
Some people use ghostwriters. And do you really trust Lincoln's objectivity on his biography?

>>22344184

I can just envision Lincoln's autobiography. Where he drinks literal oceans of booze to gain superpowers and can give women multiple orgasms just by looking at them.

Rolled 15

>>22344269
He's being surprisingly modest then.

>>22344411

It's just the first chapter.

>>22344517
How many chapters?

>>22344636

It's more of a series, really. As Lincoln thinks up more stuff, he just keeps writing it down. The autobiography is divided into several books, each huge and detailing important subjects, such as the feel of Zuli's boobs.

Rolled 6

Someone needs to stop hoboking from drinking after he passes out again.
Next post when?

>>22346039
Funny you should mention me.

Fuck me, I thought the company would never leave.

FINALLY. Peace and quiet and liquor. I can get back to typing up the next part.

Rolled 14

>>22346121
Huzzah! He has returned to us!
This calls for more boobs!

Rolled 16

I meant booze dammit, however boobs work too.

>>22346307
Rarely are they ever separated in this quest.

Rolled 8

>>22346307
maybe what you really meant was boozbs

Still writing, haven't abandoned. Just having a bit of difficulty getting this thing right; I've actually started over about three times now.

Rolled 6

>>22346400
Boobze?

>>22347261
I'd like to comment that drunken antics, while entertaining, do lose their shine if overused.

Rolled 9

>>22347384
HERESY.

WE WILL NEVER LOSE OUR MOONSHINE.

>>22347384
Hmmmmmm. I get what you mean, but.....this is sort of a situation in which drunken antics are called for.

Also, I'm not sure if people are here only for the drunken antics, or for the "deeper complexities of the plot which are totally real and right there you guys just can't see them I swear".

>>22347384
They do?

>>22347424
>>22347432
I suppose THAT answers my question.

>>22347425
Really it's both for me.

>>22347460
So you're of the opinion there might be a plot behind all this ballyhoo?

File: 1357105187310.jpg-(3 KB, 127x122, You keep telling yourself that.jpg)

>>22347460
Riiiiiiiight...

>>22347475
Yes. I just love how the machinations of lords and governments can be derailed by one hobo.

>>22347530
.........

.....Well, I suppose time will tell whether you're right or not.

Rolled 6

>>22347475
I'm of the opinion that whatever the plot is, it will be entertaining when we drive a tank through it while having sexy with Zuli in the turret

>>22347544
>leaving out the rest of the harem

Rolled 10

>>22347445
I have faith in your ability to write drunken antics. (You certainly have the experience)
also if we wanted plot we would be in a different quest,however some plot is necessary.

>>22347544
This is another way of saying my opinion.

---1 HOUR LATER---

Izaya tries to stifle a hiccup. It doesn't really work, considering she's already gone through seven bottles of hard liquor, as her flushed red face clearly indicates. For someone who's never had modern booze before, she's doing pretty well. Guess that's what being a nine-tailed foxwoman gets you. You'd look into genetic splicing (i.e. break into DARPA and see what you can steal), but you haven't lived this long and ingested as many spirits as you have to switch off hardcore mode now.

Illiana is leaning up against the wall with a sour pout on her face, sipping quietly from her bottle of whiskey. She's spent the last hour attempting to convince her mother and you to stop flirting with each other, with decreasing levels of success. Halfway through, she switched from indignant to what you think may be slight jealousy. This suits you just fine.

Zuli and Moira, having come in after hearing the cacophony of noise you and the foxgirls were making, are leaning on each other. Zuli has spent the entirety of the last hour alternating between chugging another bottle of 192-proof and grilling Moira on her little midnight....."escapade." You have no idea what Moira has been saying back, but the distance she held her hands apart made you VERY pleased indeed.

Faye, who was apparently hiding behind her mother's tails this entire time, has been trying to sneak bottles of booze for herself with you or her mother noticing. She failed on both counts, but some unspoken looks exchanged between you and the matriarch confirmed that nobody gives two shits.

"(Hic) Linnncoln Bizmuth." Izaya giggles softly, sidling up to you and wrapping her arms around your arm. You can feel her sizeable matriarchal privileges; they truly are formidable. "You truly are a man of (hic) impeccable taste. What's say we leave my prudish daughter to her pouting and----"

"B-BACK OFF, MOTHER!" Illiana suddenly yells out, crawling drunkenly across the floor to forcefully grab your other arm. She may not be as well-endowed as her mother, but boobs are boobs. "I-I-I saw him first! I figured out he was more respectable than he appeared! Y-Y-You can't just come in and---"

"Oho? But don't you think (hic) he'd like a woman with a bit more....experience?" She flashes you a sultry smile, squishing her breasts further against you.

"H-H-HA! I think Lincoln would prefer a younger and more f-fresh girl! D-D-Don't you, Lincoln!?" She urgently strokes your face, looking at you with a mixture of embarrassment and pleading.

You take another swig from your latest bottle before answering. "(Hic) Truthfully? I want both." You flash them both a shit-eating grin.

"Hmmmmmm, is that so?" The matriarch muses, tracing a finger across your chest lazily. "You know, I don't think I can just hand you BOTH generations of the family THAT easily....."

"That's not going to stop me from trying." you shoot back bluntly.

"Ho. And indeed, I never said you should. Just that a good woman does not bend over so easily....." She licks her lips slightly. "Still though....such boldness should be rewarded....."

And before you can respond, Izaya reaches over to grab her daughter's face, crashing her mouth down onto Illiana's before the shocked bandit leader can react.

Illiana struggles for a few moments, but being as sensitive as she is and up against someone as obviously experienced as Izaya, she stands no chance. Her resisting arms slowly fall shaking to her sides as she slowly surrenders to the taboo that her mother is forcing upon her.

You say nothing. Only drool.

"........(hic) I KNEW shticking around wish Lincoln wash a good idea...." Moira giggles from her spot next to Zuli.

You crane your head backwards as you hear footsteps behind you, your eyes happening upon Fritz, who has just entered the doorway. You start snickering at the priceless look on your face.

"Whassamatter, Fritz? Too much for ya to handle?" You throw a verbal jab at your spec ops bro.

"So.....is that supposed to be the leader of the village making out with that bandit girl?" Fritz raises an eyebrow, shooting you a questioning look.

"Better. She's also Illiana's mom."

"HER MOM!?" Fritz's mouth drops open in shock. "So they're......"

"Yeeeeeeeeep." You drawl, grin on your face glimmering with insane glee.

"........if this is the result of you trying to do diplomacy, we can send you to the United Nations and have world peace in a week." Fritz chuckes after a long moment, shaking his head in disbelief.

"What's diplomacy? I just wanted to get everyone drunk." You turn around, directing your attention back to the mother/daughter foxgirl makeouts, which has now expanded to Izaya feeling up her daughter quite lewdly. Glorious.

"......Lincoln. As much as I hate to be the one to remind you....we ARE here to facilitate diplomatic relations. Not facilitate incest and orgies. You can do that all you want later, but I don't get PAID if we fuck around too much."

You grumble for a moment before responding. "Fiiiiiiine. Far be it from me to get in the way of you buying Minerva an engagement ring." You snicker, Fritz's face darkening with embarrassment.

"That's a long way from now--!---I mean, it's NOT LIKE THAT!?" You just laugh, ignoring his protests. YOUR HOBO MATCHMAKINGWILL NOT BE DENIED. There's nothing he can do to resist it.

You spin back around with a sigh, reluctantly tapping Izaya on the shoulder. "Izaya? We're supposed to do some diplomacy or some boring shit......much as I hate to break this up....."

She pulls away from her daughter, letting Illiana collapse to the floor in a panting, drooly mess. "Hmmmmmm, diplomacy, is it? Well....business before (hic) pleasure, I suppose....."

She makes her way back to her chair, seating herself in the best approximation of her earlier composed posture she can manage. As if she HADN'T just molested the crap out of her eldest daughter.

"Well, then. What shall we (hic) discuss first?"

>What DO you discuss first?

[ ] [details of the agreement]

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]

[ ] [continue hitting on daughter and mother both at once]

[ ] [other]

[ ] [details of the agreement]

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]

[ ] [continue hitting on daughter and mother both at once]

[ ] imbibe liquor

I want it all.

>>22348259
[x] fluffy tails
[x] brushing thereof
[x]continue hitting on daughter and mother at the same time

>>22348259
[X] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]
[X] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]

The details can wait until Fritz get's suitably drunk. After all it's not fair if one side of the negotiation group is sober.

>>22348311
Seconding

>>22348259
[X] [details of the agreement]
[X] [continue hitting on daughter and mother both at once]

I wanna know what kinda support these foxy ladies (and men) are gunna want and/or need.

Rolled 13

>>22348311
Let's just run down the list, shall we? Inserting >[X] Imbibe Liquor wherever (in)appropriate

Rolled 16

[X] details of the agreement
While [X] hitting on mother and daughters at once.
Then [X] Talk about tails while [X] touching all the tails and continuing to hit on everything except Fritz

Rolled 3

>>22348397
this, in this order

Rolled 13

>>22348397
Oh go on...

Alright then. Now.....considering this next part, I must ask for input. I'll have to make the final decision on what makes the most sense to use, but your input is needed here.

Name monstergirls you want. Demons are out, seeing as they have their own special lands, and water ones are obviously in the water, but other than that, choose monstergirls you want to see. Roll 1d20 too, just because I think it's funny.

Rolled 17

>>22348259
>[ ] [details of the agreement]
>[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]
>[ ] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]

Rolled 17

>>22348946
A Kappa. I want to know what'd happen if we filled her head with booze instead of water.

Rolled 4

bakeneko

Rolled 1

>>22348946
Militant Lizardsgirls.

Rolled 8

>>22349044
Well shit.

>>22349044
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKing hell here it comes.

Rolled 2

>>22348946
dagrons wouldn't be considered demons would they?

Rolled 5

angels

Rolled 14

LAMIA!!!

Rolled 14

>>22348946
Koboldgirl?
(Preferably a mad scientist/alchemist for Science/ magic booze)

Rolled 19

>>22348946
Sun fairies?

>>22349264
Oh good. Actually just managed to read everything last evening and this morning and that was my first roll.

Rolled 8

>>22349087
Also fine with dragongirl.
Lincoln's booze breath ability is far superior to dragonbreath.

Rolled 11

>>22348946
Dryad.

Rolled 12

>>22349191
Seconding. It aint monstergirls without a lamia.

Rolled 15

>>22349288
Beats my grand entrance with a Nat 1

Rolled 3

>>22349044
Can we sic them on Johnson? Like cut away to him and find out that he's been given the mission to pacify them for the human lords to join up only for him to accidently a harem of lizardgirls?

>>22349592
This would be kinda awesome.

>>22349592
>Oooh Johnssson, you are sssso...commanding~.
>Goddammit stop groping me you scaly hussies!

Rolled 13

>>22349592
I like how you think.

>>22349592
Militant order of dragons, lizardgirls and other scaly and/or militant-ish.

And now I'm imagining Johnson looking like Che Guevara. Expect american. And in fantasyland.

>>22349592
>>22349616
>>22349621
>>22349650
>>22349717

For how much Johnson hates you, I'm surprised at how insistent you are at throwing monstergirls at him.

This was the correct decision to ask for input while I went and made a midnight foray for foodstuffs. I now have hilarious ideas.

>>22349769
We are the hobo of love, we know all he needs is some good monstergirl lovin to see things our way.

Rolled 11

>>22349769
It's because it will only fuel his hate somehow blamingus for being hunted like a pieceof meat.

Rolled 12

Crazy zombie girl and her straight-laced skeleton girl companion!
also elemental girls.

Rolled 3

A doppleganger for Dave. It is then every girl/guy he ever hits on in the quest but never catches on.

Rolled 13

>>22350286
Firegirl?
I remember someone saying something about that in an earlier thread.

File: 1357115701278.jpg-(139 KB, 573x800, Gap hag.jpg)

Rolled 11

Incomprehensibly multidimensional cosmic horror which presides over various foundations of our universe.

Rolled 12

>>22350341
>My own clone! Now neither of us will be virgins!

And the ideas keep coming. Now that I've had a good meal, I can get back to work.

......I'm quickly realizing how much stuff I'm going to have to try to cram in. Yes, I SUPPOSE I could just leave things out.....but where's the fun in that?

Rolled 12

>>22350380
Speaking of which:
Alternate universe dimension-slider genderbent Lincoln.

Rolled 4

>>22350365
Sobriety?

File: 1357118020192.png-(563 KB, 1367x629, Dopplegangerprofile.png)

>>22350341
This thing?

>>22350793

we need a roper girl...

also we defiantly need a Arachne and a Beelzebub.

Rolled 1

>>22350793
huh. It counts them as undead. Does that mean that necromancers could theoretically raise a doppelganger? we must find a necromancer and test this for MAGIC-SCIENCE and adorableness.

Rolled 4

>>22351018
well then fun times ahead.

>>22351018
HUEHUEHUE.

Having said that, I never noticed that before. The fact that they're partially composed of "the lingering regret of those who lost love" and are categorized as an undead monstergirl....

I find it bleakly poetic.

>>22350793
I never actually liked that particular monstergirl book. So many folktales condensed into simple fetish-fuel, with everything just having their own little "trick" and personalities described with a single word.

Don't mind me, just saying. I'm just kinda fearing that it just ends up with "Oh it's a catgirl, I wonder if they purr and have delicate ears, plus murderpresents" - "Yep, they have delicate ears and they purr. They also are vicious fighters who act adorable with their kills. Next."

God damn, I've become jaded with generic monstergirls!

>>22351245
I'm actually somewhat in agreement with you, from a writing standpoint. While they are excellent source of ideas, as far as universe-building they are somewhat......lacking, to say the least.

That's why I only use their concepts and drawings as the basis of my ideas, and throw out every part of their "personalities" that I don't particularly find useful or desirable. Obviously, anything as to their placement in the world is completely overhauled.

That's why this next post is taking so long, actually. drunken hilarity is one thing to write, but when it comes to laying out the elements of the world, I have to be cautious. A drunken hobo is not nearly as much fun if the world around him isn't properly laid out for him to destroy.

>>22351245
Yep, pretty much this. Also the fact that there's no mystery to any of them. All of them are "defeatable" and "known". Nothing strange or mysterious about any of them. It's one of the reasons I liked Papa-Ns Suyettar, because I know fuck nothing about what the hell she is. Some kind of vore-bard-witch-loli, I don't know.

>>22351375
Suyettar is based off of a Norwegian legend, I believe.

And if you people think I'm just going to throw you fastballs the whole time......

Heheheheheheh. I chuckle at what may happen to you.

>>22351392
My apologies, I just checked. It's FINNISH legend.

You straighten yourself up to a cross-legged position on the floor, attempting to appear as serious as you possible can while drink off your ass. "Well, first things (hic) first."

Fritz nods approvingly.

"How fluffy ARE your tails?"

Fritz slaps a palm to his forehead with a sigh. He should have known.

"Ho. Noticed the allure of my tails then, did you? I must say, you have a good eye...." The matriarch slowly sways her voluminous tails back and forth in a teasing manner.

"Well, I've already had a (hic) taste......your daughter's tails here are quite glorious." You reach over to the still panting Illiana and grab one of her tails, stroking it.

"H-HYAAAAAANNH!?!?" The foxgirl bandit lets out a combination of a yelp and a moan, a little bit of drool leaking out of her mouth as she goes slack-jawed at stimulation. "L-L-LINCOLN, PLEAAAAAAAANHHH!!" She attempts to beg for mercy. She finds only Hobo.

"....But I know that nine-tails, whether on youko or inari, is a rare (hic) thing indeed. So I have to admit I'm curious."

"Hmmmmm. For someone who's supposed to be from another world, you're certainly well-informed....." Izaya muses, tapping a finger to her chin in thought before letting a wicked smile grace her face. "Would you like me to show you how soft they are...?"

"The first moment (hic) I have free time, foxy lady." you grin back, still stroking Illiana's tails to make her whimper.

"......You're pure evil, you know that, Lincoln?" Fritz lightly comments from his position leaning up against the wall. You ignore him; after all, he's right.

"Well, on to actual (hic) business, yes?" You rub your hands together business-like, giving Illiana time to gasp her breath back. "We're here to offer you a deal, on behalf of the United States of Hobo."

"Lincoln."

"Gaaaahhhh, fine. The United States of AMERICA. For now." You grumble the last part under your breath.

Izaya nods, settling into a much more contemplative demeanor. "My daugher..." She motions to the incapacitated inari lying on the ground. "...has told me the details. You wish to open trade routes and diplomatic arrangements with the fox tribes, I believe? Though I can scarcely believe that'd I ever find myself receiving such an offer from humans, even in my long lifetime....."

You refrain from asking how old the inari matriarch is. You're drunk, not suicidal.

"Well, humans on my side of the rift don't exactly have generations of discrimination for non-humans passed down....." You point out. "And we aren't exactly so fond of the humans on this side. You know, since I lit one of their castles on fire and shot the noble and all. He was a dick, though, so I don't regret it."

You get a cocked eyebrow from the seated matriarch "Quite a bold tale. And your reasoning seems sound enough. But I find myself questioning the agreement's....necessity. You'll have to try a bit harder to convince me than my daughter."

You straighten your tie and shoot Fritz a quick look. He gives you a nod, and you turn back to the matriarch nervously. "Well......first off, increased trade, that's a no-brainer. There's over seven billion humans on the other side of that portal, and you'll have the goods that get first crack at them."

Izaya blinks a few times. "That is...a sizeable market. Continue, then."

"Besides that, you get protection, provided straight by the U.S. military, the most powerful fighting force in all of our world. And I can guarantee that NOTHING the human kingdoms could throw at you would even be able to come CLOSE to beating it."

".....I'm sorry, but I find that part rather hard to believe." The matriarch replies with a skeptical look on her face.

"I hold some sway over the many nomadic kitsune tribes because I am currently the only nine-tail in existence. While we stay civil by avoiding much interference with one another, they leave representation in non-human discussions up to me. And even then, I try to keep the tribes out of the direct conflicts. Do you know why? It is because even with all my power, I would be felled by the sizeable armies of the humans." The matriarch finishes her statement with a bitter air. "What reason do I have to believe that you can succeed where even I fear to stand my ground?"

>What do?

[ ] [convince through words]

[ ] [invite outside, give demonstration]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>Grabbin' some z's
>Did most of the necessary thinking for the most difficult question, delays should be minimal

>>22351678

Invite outside, give demonstration

>>22351678
Invite outside, let Fritz show off. Tell Minerva later how Fritz impressed a nine-tailed matriarch with his knowledge.

>>22351722
And this gives us enough time to imbibe liquor while Fritz beats everyone in hand-to-hand/tactics/strategy/firepower/physical skills.

>>22351678
[X] [imbibe liquor]
then
[X] [FIRE ZE CANNON!]

File: 1357124896669.jpg-(39 KB, 499x450, 1265500308774.jpg)

>>22351678
let's show them the power of our tank(more of a rape train around here but heh), if it has any ammo left which I kinda doubt seeing how we've thoroughly used it, so just used a sniper rifle, or use a grenade.

Rolled 2

>>22351722
>>22351793
Both of these.
While [X] imbibing liquor and explaining that the village was unconscious when we arrived.

Rolled 8

>>22351678
>[X] [invite outside, give demonstration]
how could you not pick this option?

Rolled 3

>>22351881
no ammo? no problem, load some 192-proof bottles into some sabot cases and shove a 120mm propellant charge up its arse

>>22352004
oh right I forgot about the power of this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure it can melt flesh too.

Rolled 17

>>22352004
why did i just think loading a 120mm canister round with nothing but glass shards would be a good idea?

Rolled 12

>>22352062
It'll certainly be impressive.

>>22352062
shrapnel round? that's one of the most dangerous thing against infantry (I think don't quote me on that) and since around here they have nothing but infantry....

Rolled 10

>>22352172
I just realized that the booze should explode out the barrel in a massive fireball. Extra awesome!
Also about those unconscious villagers…

>>22352237
meh let them sleep, for now I imagine it'll be hilarious when we wake them up by firing the canon.
but yeah...napalm+shrapnel by the way of alcohol...AWESOME...wait wouldn't the glass melt because of the explosion?

Rolled 20

>>22351914
this post and its contents, because making a point should never wait.

Rolled 2

>>22352277
Problem?
I was more worried about Izaya's reaction to her entire village being unconscious.

Rolled

I should probably put the dice down as I have rolled so many 2's and before I roll lower.
>>22332974
>>22352329
>>22351914
And Faye is probably disappointed in us for interrupting her shlicking.

Rolled 12

>>22352423
I shall save us by way of good rolls!
or not

Rolled 15

>>22352682
only moderately better than average sir, of bobptidou.

Rolled 17

>>22352799
still better (arguably) than a 1 good sir, of anonymous

Rolled 5

>>22352850
Agreed there, little to disagree with actually ahaha.

Rolled 5

>>22351678

the course is clear.

[imbibe liquor]
[invite outside]
[explain how we ON OUR OWN out drank her entire village]
[imbibe liquor]
[give demonstration]
[say "Your Move"]

I love how I'm gone for a day, I come back to 138 posts, and only 2 updates. Though Inari incest? DROOOOOOOOOOL

Rolled 19

Dig around in the shopping carts for a video projector and a documentary on the Manhatten Project. There's probably one in there somewhere.

Rolled 5

>>22353362
we probably have one of everything in these carts

Rolled 7

>>22353420
Probably, but I don't think we're drunk enough to pull out a Davey Crockett just yet.

>>22353436
Pulling out a raccoon hat might not be a good idea, especially if we run into any Tanuki.

>>22353463
I'm pretty sure he means the tactical nuclear recoilless rifle.

Lucky for us there shouldn't be a single live one left because they were stupid.

>>22353502
You underestimate our reality warping abilities.

>>22353560
Even for us a weapon than has a launch range smaller than its blast radius is a terrible idea. And irradiating slime girls might be the worst idea ever.

>>22353502
do not underestimate the reality bending power of the HOBO KING, if we want something we can and certainly will find it in those carts( as long as it exist in our world)

>>22353595
a launch range smaller the the blast radius? that IS retarded

>>22353644
Retardedly AWESOME.

>>22353653
since we'd probably survive it I suppose yes, but still... now we need the general to learn thunder magic, to regrow our bear, have Johnson to be able to kill people by ricocheting bullets, and the rest of the spec ops become his fan club, and well have an expy of MG3

File: 1357147296474.jpg-(52 KB, 600x456, Neckbear_by_MK01.jpg)

>>22353821
>to regrow our bear

>>22354738
We must now grow a bear. BECAUSE THATS HOW MUCH OUR HOBO POWERS CAN WARP REALITY. Course, we'll probably get eaten by our bear beard, but its so worth it.

>>22354809

well, we've already had Beard Vore once...

might happen again...

Rolled 3

>>22354809
Didn't we already have beard vore?

>>22354858
>>22354864
Not bear beard vore though.

HoboKing I'm sorry to admit that I probably won't be able to draw much, as school just announced that I'll have three tests in the next two days. Sorry.

Well that and the fact my drawing hand is now covered in band-aids.

Rolled 10

So I wake up, expecting a post from hobo king after he said he would return to normal delays and instead find you discussing bear beard vore?
As far as plans go I like >>22353123

>>22356716
You've read the threads were we've discussed Monstergirl space flight, yes?

I wonder where hobo king went.

>>22357042
You are Hobo King. You are meant to be running a quest.

What will you do instead?

>[ ] Booze
>[ ] Sleep
>[ ] Sleep off booze
>[ ] Education
>[ ] Sadistically decide to make the people on /tg/ wait because this is probably one of your fetishes goddamn

>>22357272
booze. always booze.

>>22357272
I dunno, that last one is looking preeeeetty tempting......

>>22357977
oh hey I was right.

Procrastination fetish.

Amazing.

>>22358078
To clarify, I've been asleep, which I mentioned briefly right before I dropped off the radar again.

But I've got the next post ready, so hopefully I can be forgiven.

You do a small mental jig at her question. Hooooo boy, this is going to be FUN.

"Well, my dear matriarch, I just so happen to have brought some of my world's weapons with me on this diplomatic visit. If you'd like to step outside, I could show you how they work...."

Izaya pauses for a moment, considering your offer. Even drunk, she's ridiculously cautious; you have to give her credit for that. But after a few moments, she nods her head, climbing to her feet while only swaying from the intoxication slightly. "This would be the best solution. I wish to observe your so-claimed strength for myself."

"Zuli, Moira? you coming with?" You ask your two drunken compatriots as you stagger to your own standing position.

"Naaaaaah. Moira's still got a LOT to tell me about things. Important things." Zuli snickers, poking Moira in the cheek. Moira merely giggles. Yeah, those two will be fine. You'll leave them to discuss your Hobo Staff of Lovemaking in peace.

"Well, then. Shall we show the honorable inari matriarch the power of modern technology, Fritz?" The SAS soldier merely smirks at you as he steps outside, you following close behind.

You turn to walk back towards the tank......

"Ah. Right."

.....only to come face to face with the still unconscious village. The WHOLE village.

The matriarch steps outside, only to immediately recoil in alarm.

"Wha--! What in GLORIAN'S NAME happened here!?"

"They were like this when I found them."

"Lincoln, that excuse isn't going to work for everything, you know."

"LIES AND SLANDER!"

---5 MINUTES LATER---

"So.......you came into the village."

"Yep."

"And the hunters returned and attacked you."

"Failed, but yes."

"And then you challenged them to a drinking contest."

"By way of punching a crater into the ground, yeah."

"Upon which you....."

"Drank the entire village into unconsciousness by myself."

The matriarch stares at you incredulously, jaw slightly slack.

"I'm afraid I must share my daughter's skepticism that you are actually human."

"Nobody's really sure, to be honest." Fritz offers with a rueful grin. You leave them to their comments about your questionable genealogy and march your way back to the Hobo Pain Train.

So many choices.....after all, you managed to nab even more crap while the General wasn't looking. What to have Fritz show off to the matriarch.....?

>Pick weapon(s)

>Confirmed Hobo Arsenal Includes:

>S&W Model 500
>M590A1 (already equipped with red dot)
>M14 EBR
>Kriss Super V XSMG
>CheyTac Intervention M-200
>RPG-7
>M1 Thompson
>AUG-A3 CQC
>AF2011-A1
>Neostead
>MTs-255
>SRM Arms Model 1216
>Obrez
>LeMat Revolver
>Enfield EM-2
>Korobov TKB-022
>Choose whatever accessories you want because I don't give a shit

>>22358114

>RPG-7

I guess we'll just impress them the same way we'd impress just about everyone.

By blowing shit up.

If that fails

>M14 EBR

Snipe something that's small and far away or something.

>>22358114
RPG-7 equipped with thermobaric warhead

>>22358108
> SAS soldier
>murrikan military
Either I don't know much about American special forces or this is a typo

>>22358220
It was explained earlier that Fritz was over in America for some reason or another when the rift emergence happened, so they threw him onto the first response team for diplomatic reasons. With him being SAS, it's not like he's going to slow them down.

>>22358114
BRIDGE LAYER!

ALL SHALL COWER AT THE MIGHT OF OUR PORTABLE BRIDGES!

>>22358114
For Fritz magical operator time:
>CheyTac Intervention M-200
We were talking about how to kill things from a mile away, so let's start with that.

There's bound to be some spotters binoculars or something in there.

>M590A1
For some boomstick operator action

>RPG-7
Because things need to go a little boom.

>AUG-A3 CQC
Because operator operating operationally with famas is bound to get Fritz some tacticool points.

Hobo fun while drunk:
>AF2011-A1
Where the fuck.... Nevermind. Go with that. While double wielding
>Obrez
Because magical hobo.

Fuckit, put Kriss on top of Korobov and go to town with full auto.

At the tank.

And then shoot with the tank.

That should be enough.

And foxpeople should wake up by the time of RPG hitting something.

>>22358114
RPG-7 for show of raw force, and explain that it's a cheap, crappy weapon in massive use because it's cheap.

Then Cheytac to show the kind of range we can snipe at.

Then explain what the tank's gun is.

>>22358266
The all mighty bridge layer needs to be shown too!

The fun part is that bridge laying is always a two man job.

One controls the car, the other shouts the commands.

This should be interesting.

>>22358220
NZfag here, get our special forces out of your country

>>22358261
mah bad
Also, use any one of the many full auto guns we have at our disposal before revealing the coup de grace

THE BRIDGE LAYER

>>22358114
So much shit that shouldn't be in there... Magical hobo powers warp spacetime to bring us guns from the 60s soviet russia.

Rolled 10

>>22358114

Screw guns. Get into tank. And blow something up. Preferably not in ownership of fox folk. While pouring down the bottle.

Rolled 3

>>22358114
show EVERYTHING!
I mean what could go wrong? right?

>>22358114

Whatever is demonstrated, Izaya needs to get some lessons in it, just to feel the power with her own two hands.

>>22358618
You can do the whole thing where you press your body against hers and teach to fire a gun for extra hobo flirtings.

>>22358114
M1 ABRAMS, GO! THEN WE GET ZULIS DRUNK ASS TO BE HEAVY WEAPONS ONI.

>>22358572
You sir, are an anon after my own heart.

Well, the responses seem to have stopped and my business is finished, so I can write the next post now.

Just got off the phone with ASRock, looks like my motherboard's definitely under warranty and I'll be able to get it replaced after all.

Just a shame that now I'll have to buy an actual copy of Windows 7 instead of that OEM install I bought to save money.

Oh well. At least my gaming rig will be working again.

>>22359520
My god, two posts in day? COULD THE LEGENDS BE TRUE?

Rolled 18

>>22359544
he isn't *that* slow...is he? (first thread I actually follow)

>>22359708
I may be exaggerating somewhat, but these threads can go on for days. Which is why we have side-quests.

>>22359708
I admit I am one of the slower OPs out there due to my ever-changing schedule, but the last few days have just been particularly bad for me. I usually try to keep a brisker pace, if I can. Also, since I prefer for as many people as possible to get their say in, I tend to wait longer between posts for responses.

So it's a bit more of a relaxed pace when reading HoboQuest, interspersed with intermittent bursts of hilarity. So sit back, relax, pop open a beer or six. We'll be gentle with the vore......maybe.

>>22359871
I'll be honest, I prefer it this way. I just pick it up whenever I see it appear on the front page, catch up, throw a suggestion down, wait for the next post whenever it comes up. Everything about this quest is like so chilled dude

>>22359871
>vore
>HRQ
pick two

Rolled 19

>>22359871
meh take your time this quest is the only one that can make me laugh due to the shear WTF it channels.
in other words it's very good, I have a good time reading it and frankly thats all I care about.

>>22358895
Why, thank you! I was thinking of suitable targets. Maybe that eyesore bridge we must haul along?

>>22360451
Nah kid. Ever blown up a castle?

File: 1357172136299.jpg-(1.1 MB, 1000x1000, 1343966950150.jpg)

>>22360527
I did, it was glorious

>>22360611
I'm not entirely sure how to feel about that picture. On one hand, we could get the armaments for our promised zeppelin. On the other, the thing couldn't hold up the armor plating we would need to do that. So conflicted.

>>22360639
>All the power is in his glove.

Rolled 4

>>22360639
Dude, magic. We can totally have a badass zepplin (a zepplin, not a shitty little blimp) with turbines powered by 192-proof and magical fox fire and I'm imagining we add a wind elemental to our harem at one point, they can help with lift

>>22360527

I did.

My character has dragged a huge demon along for a ride, and out party mage was kind enough to make the portal spit us out right on top of a castle that the army of our allied lords were about to storm.

Since I was about to die either way, I climbed on top of the demon and (since I was playing a bard of METAL) rolled to play a guitar solo as it crashed down on the walls.

This counted as a good end for a character in my book.

>>22360724
Not gonna lie, thats pretty bad ass.
>>22360720
Heresy, we do not use the liquor as fuel. Fuel for shenanigans maybe, but NEVER as straight fuel.

>>22360639
it's a...boat...I think...holy shit I never though about that! I just posted it for the lulz