But the time for mourning is not now. For there is an important question that you must decide. One that could decide the very outcome of the rest of your life.

WHAT BOOZE DO YOU DRINK NEXT?

....oh yeah, and some other questions you should probably ask the really powerful nine-tailed matriarch in front of you, you guess.

>Ask questions?

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [offer to help repair the village]

[ ] [drive off into the sunset with no idea where you're going]

[ ] [head back to the rift to report successful agreement]

[ ] [ask about other potential rift locations]

[ ] [go bother Zuli (red oni with anger management issues) and Moira (former night post batgirl)]

[ ] [imbibe liquour]

[ ] [other]

Previous Threads:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=HoboQuest


All updates available at @HoboRiftQuest.

>>22369675
[x]Imbibe Liquor
[x] go bother Moira and Zuli

and after that's done and only afterwards
[x] ask about other portals
[x] questions about the rest of the non-human lands

>>22369675
>[ ] [imbibe liquour]
>[ ] [go bother Zuli (red oni with anger management issues) and Moira (former night post batgirl)]
Time to cash in on the promise we made them.
Invite the foxgirls to watch.

....you know what? Diplomacy is for suckers and can wait. LET'S GO CHECK ON THAT ONI AND BATGIRL. After all, it looked like Zuli had bruises on her neck. You'll have to make sure those are properly treated....heheheheh......

"Heheheheheheh...."

"Lincoln. You're drooling again. What are you up to this time?" Fritz remarks with obvious humor in his voice, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Oooho. Nothing! Nothing at all. Just going....this way. Yep. I like traveling in this direction. Nooooothing to get suspicious about at---"

You refrain from finishing, choosing instead to do an abrupt 180 and sprint towards the matriarch's hut.

Fritz sighs. "Hoooo boy. Here we go again. Lucky bastard...."

"If you'll excuse me...." Izaya turns her gaze on the SAS soldier. "....What exactly has him running like that? It's only his companions and my daughters left in that hut, nothing particularly special."

Fritz smirks at the matriarch. "I think you've seen enough to know EXACTLY what he's after. You're welcome to go watch, if you want."

The matriarch thinks silently for a few moments before realization dawns on her face.

"Oho." She chuckles, a bit of mischievousness crossing her face. "If that's the case.....then yes, I do believe I may go watch."

>[Roll 1d20 for luck]

Rolled 1

>>22370541

Rolled 1

>>22370580
This is Hobo Quest alright.

>>22370595
Dear fuck, someone save us.

>>22370606
THERE ARE NO SAVIORS IN HOBOQUEST, ONLY HUEHUEHUE

Rolled 8

>>22370580
...Well that's one way to start a thread.

Rolled 12

>>22370580
>>22370595
Oh god.

Rolled 5

>>22370553
cmon guys get your shit together before it eats you

Rolled 10

>>22370553
Byron Blessed!

Rolled 11

>>22370580
>>22370595
Oh damn. It's this whole day full of things not going right, then?

Welp, Hobo lost all his luck. Let's see if anybody else is more lucky, because damn I want to see what double nat1 gives us.

Maybe rolling for Johnson.

Rolled 9

Need more 1s in here.

Rolled 16

>>22370652

BRIAN BLESSED!

You powerslide to in front of the door, but even before your shoes are cool you burst through the door of the hut to feast your eyes upon.....

"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY CANNOT BEAR THE SIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

"L-L-Lincoln? W-W-What's wrong?"

"AAAAAAAAGHHHHH, NO! ITS TOO MUCH! I REJECT THIS REALITY! REEEJEEEEEEEECTAAAAAAAAGH!"

Your screams only grow ever louder as your eyeballs ignite, flames pouring forth from their sockets as you combust from the wrongness of the sight before you. The flames, ever hungry, do not stop there. They race across your flesh, pillaging cells, gorging themselves on your succulent flesh. But the more ambitious ones reach inside, crawling along your nerves to reach the juicy organs that keep you running.

You gurgle weakly, no longer able to scream as your vocal cords have been burnt to ash. Your thought process grows disjointed from the heat of your brain cells being fried, and you lose control of your bodily functions as your organs fail. But no fluids are released, no soiling of yourself occurs to embarrass you. The fires of rejection burn to hot, evaporating, incinerating, removing all that they can reach. Such is the strength of your rejection.

And finally, it is over. You fade away into oblivion as your burnt and blackened shell of a corpse collapses into ash. But at least....you'll never have to see.....that horrible sight again.....

Zuli blinks at what has just transpired in front of her. "So......what was that all about?" She asks the batgirl sitting across from her.

"I-I-I don't know......" Moira stutters, equally shocked. "I-I-I only took my hat off....."

---SOMEWHERE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE----

"NEVER TAKE THE HAT OFF!" Max Decarus screams, bolting upright from his bed full of heretical ass.

You're only barely above an average of ten, not counting the ones (which I consume for my own purposes).

Rolled 15

>>22370787
Attempting to redeem my 1!

Rolled 8

>>22370787
My the god Brian bless these dice that we may continue our valiant fight

Rolled 8

>>22370814
Lord Quest needs to start running again, Brian does not have enough worshippers.

Rolled 12

>>22370787
lets see if we can't fix that

>>22370821
>>22370814
>>22370801
>>22370840


Pfffffaahahahaha. Congrats, the average is now 10.36.

You don't want to stop at this do you? You're going to keep rolling, right? (FEED ME MORE ONES.)

Rolled 18

>>22370854
You're talking like there's another option.

Rolled 15

rollan. for vore or success

Rolled 20

>>22370854
HUE FOR THE HUE GOD
VORE FOR THE VORE THRONE

>>22370893
>>22370893
>>22370887

.......it seems it was unwise to taunt the /tg/ dice too much.

You guys WOULD get a twenty. You only roll them when it REALLY counts, or when it doesn't mean anything at all.

Rolled 5

>>22370920
ONI ON BATGIRL LOVINS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT MATTERS

Rolled 1

>>22370920
so does that mean this roll meant nothing or everything?

>>22371000
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

Rolled 3

>>22371000
THAT roll meant everything. The 20 does nothing.

Rolled 16

>>22370760
This was not vore.

We now demand vore with the force of THREE NAT 1s.

Rolled 14

>>22371000
Well, this is a conundrum

>>22371036
It was self-vore.

>>22371037
>>22371000
>>22371026
You guys know my policy. 1s are mostly used for vore fuel and HUEHUEHUE Lincoln is stupid enough to put himself in terrible situations all by himself, for the most part.

Rolled 11

It seems the dice gods are being fickle

Rolled 16

>>22371064
Are they ever not?

You walk through the entrance to the door, expecting to see delicious oni/batgirl makeouts.......

Only to be seized by Zuli and Moira instead, who had been waiting for you on either side of the doorway.

"Hello Lincoln....." Zuli says with a creepy air in her voice and malevolent glee in her eyes.

"So glad you decided to join us....." Moira chimes in, enthralled gaze boring into.

"Eheheh.....happy to be here, girls....." You chuckle nervously, immediately sensing so much wrong. "Any particular reason why you're restraining me....?"

Moira chuckles, low and disturbed. "Oh, Lincoln. If we didn't, you'd run away." She stares up at you with twisted anticipation. "And we can't have our main sacrifice running away, can we?"

Your gulp is audible. "Sacrifice? I don't really think I'm interested in that....." Your internal panic only grows as Zuli laughs from your other side.

"Interested? Oh, foolish Lincoln. You don't have a choice. Look, our lord stirs."

It is only then that you notice Illiana at the other end of the room, covered in strange, twisting patterns and a crazed look in her eyes.

"It is done! She stirs, SHE STIRS! OUR GOD STIRS!" Illiana shrieks as she turns to you, crazed laughter leaking into your ears and chilling your very soul.

And behind her, on her mother's chair, sits Faye. Her eyes blaze demonic, her presence inspiring horror in you that no mortal man has known. Horror that becomes tenfold when her forms begins to warp and twist, her appendages and even face splitting, revealing a tentaculous body that seems to only comprise of a titanic maw and appendages to feed it.

"YES! TAKE ME, MY GOD! I, THE CEREMONIAL APPETIZER, SHALL GLADLY GIVE YOU MY FLESH! CONSUME ME!" Illiana shouts at the abomination, and it complies. Tentacles and fleshy appendages of all sorts wrap around her, pulling her down the cavernous gullet of the fleshy best. She shrieks in delight as she is stomached, the extremities fondling and caressing her in the most lewd of manners.

The being that once was Faye is not satisfied, though. It oozes its way towards you, causing you to reflexively recoil, your legs attempting to carry you away from this awful sight. But the girls hold you fast, chanting, chanting, chanting all the while.

"HUE FOR THE HUE GOD! VORE FOR THE VORE THRONE! HUE FOR THE HUE GOD! VORE FOR THE VORE THRONE!"

You scream in fear as the monstrosity finally falls upon you, grabbing you and shoveling you down into the chasm of a mouth with little regard for restraint or concern. You are instantly beset upon by thousands upon thousands of tentacles, of all shapes and sizes. Some suck, lick, and slurp at you, feeling oddly pleasant. Other rip and tear and eat at your clothing, opening the way for ever more of them to poke and prod, touch and caress, explore and conquer.

You moan despite your terror, the combination of fear and stimulation getting you rock hard. In your despair, you laugh a little. Why not? There's no escape, anyway....

Thus, you almost welcome it when the tentacles begin to caress and grab at your groin, pumping you with what feels like an endless amount of strokes and sucks all at once. You cry out as you release into the wriggling mass, which greedily accept your offering and demand more with every passing second.

You do not resist their overtures, allowing them to squeeze every drop they can out of you with all manner of sinful techniques and motions. Your energy leaves you with every passing ejaculation, even as you sink deeper and deeper into the creature's depths....

Suddenly, you feel yourself bump into something hard, and crane your head to look. you come face to face with the crazed, half-dissolved face of Illiana, moaning in ecstasy as the tentacles embracing her violate every hole they can reach, pumping in and out to harvest her sweet juices.

Rolled 6

>>22371064
>Hey, hey! GUYS! The ocean seems to be wet today!

Yep, seems so.

"Aaaaahahaahahahaha!" She giggles insanely, mouth drooling and tears streaked across her face. "Sooooo goooooood! Let's be consumed by our god together, Lincoln~~~~!"

It is only then that you realize what the beast's secretions have been numbing you to. Your body is decaying, melting, being digested for to sate this twisted god's hunger. You can do nothing but lose yourself in the pleasure of the caressing, hoping that the end will come quietly while you lie in the bliss.

And indeed it does, your vision slowly fading to black, even as you see the forms of Zuli and Moira sliding in to join you, still chanting their devotion to the sick god that had made a meal of you all. You let go of your hopes and dreams.....and let yourself become one with the vore......

Faye twisted and shifts, reclaiming her mortal form, thought her godhood is evident in the demonic glow from her eyes. A fine meal......and yet, she is still not satisfied.

A cartographer he called her, was it? Yes.....she shall indeed paint a map of this world. To draw the world, even as she consumes it.....

Such would be proper amusement for a god such as she.
>YOU WANT VORE?
>YOU GOT VORE

Rolled 9

>>22371393
This is both utterly terrifying, yet intriguing.
ALL HAIL THE CHAOS GOD FAYE BORNE OF VORE, HUE AND REALLY WELL MADE MAPS!

Rolled 20, 19 = 39

>>22371393
wat, I wake up and there is nothing but HUE and ones?
.
..
...
I am totally okay with this

Rolled 1, 6 = 7

>>22371980
why do you forsake me so /tg/ dice? why must I always roll so well? not that I mind but still!

>>22371987
hahaha

Rolled 16

>>22371987
Welp.

Rolled 8

>>22372002
woops forgot to roll with my laughter

You hurtle down the road, tearing your way towards the matriarch's hut. Screechin to a halt in front of it, you throw back the woven cloth "door" to reveal.....

.....ooooohhhh Lordy.

Zuli sits in the middle of the floor, legs sprawled out in front of her as she holds the 192-proof bottle above her open mouth, emptying the last drops into it. Moira lies passed out up against the wall of the hut, snoozing peacefully Illiana and Faye are absent, it seems; but you're really not interested in them at the moment, considering what you're staring at.

"Lin.....Lin(hic)coooooln? Izzat you?" Zuli slurs happily, turning her head in your direction with a drunken smile. Her undershirt has been thrown across the room, her suit jacket hanging loosely over her sizeable breasts, threatening to slide off and expose them at any moment. Her suit pats are unbuttoned and slid down just the slightest bit, enough to look disheveled but not enough to expose her. Still, not like you need to see much more skin, considering what's exposed is already covered in a variety of hickies, along with what looks like one of Moira's bites up by her neck. Moira, you sly little minx.....

"Linnncooooooln.....Moira was showing me such a good time.....an' then she (hic) went to sleep...." Zuli pouts, looking at the unconscious batgirl.

"But I'm....I'm not satis(hic)fied. Well....Not yet." Her face grows into a grin as she staggers to her feet, slowly swaying as she wobbles towards you.

Uhhhhh.....Zuli? Please don't punch me." You chuckle nervously. You have a preferred direction this situation is going to go, but Zuli's a wildcard; you could just as easily end up with a smashed face as a smashed red oni.

"Heheheheh.....whassa matter, Lincoln? Scared?" Zuli chuckles, the distance between you growing ever smaller.

"Of you? A bit." You give an honest reply.

"Tha's no good!" She suddenly raises her voice, lunging the rest of the distance between you to wrap her arms around your torso and bury her head in your chest. "I---I don't want you to be scared of me, Lincoln! You....you've been (hic) so nice to me! You told me you loved me, and treated (hic) me like I was normal!" She tightens her hold on you, slightly crushing your ribcage. "I-I-I-I love you too, Lincoln. You're crazy and I (hic) hit you a lot, but you're nice.....so....so don't hate me....." She trails off miserably, sniffling a little bit. Wow. This girl went from happy to teasing to depressed in literally thirty seconds. Wildcard, indeed.

"Zuli...." you tap her gently on the shoulder, ignoring the screaming pain her vice-like embrace is causing you. "I don't hate you. I told you I love you, right? That's not going to change." You pat her affectionately on the head, which amuses you slightly since she's usually quite a bit taller than you.

"R---Realllllyyy?" She almost cries, looking up at you with glimmering hopes. You nod to her, desperately hoping that she'll let go before she crushes you to death.

"I LOVE YOU TOO, LINCOLN!" She shouts, crushing all the air out of you like a press, leaving you unable to even breathe for a few moments before tossing you to the floor, where you lie gasping for breath.

There is a sudden "whumph" of pressure as she falls down with you, looming over you on her hands and knees as she stares into your eyes with a happy, yet mischievously drunken smile on her face.

"Y'know, Lincoln...I'm drunk. And since I'm drunk, I gotta opportunity. An' ya know what? I'm not gonna waste it."

She grins wolfishly as she presses her lips down onto yours.

It's hot, just the way you remember it from the last few times you've kissed her. Everything about this woman is fiery, from her anger to her temperament to her very body. Her tongue, though aggressive, feels a bit inexperienced and cautious, as if she's trying her best to be assertive but has no idea what to do. Smirking a little bit, you guide her tongue in a more sensual pattern, and are rewarded by a squeak of pleasure from the busty red oni.

Deciding to give the girl what she wants, you reach your hands to her bust, edging aside the suit jacket to get at those boobs which you have lusted after for so long (and nearly died in pursuit of). You softly take them into your hands, kneading and massaging at them. It's a bit more difficult than with Moira; Zuli's are too large to be encompassed with a single handful. That's fine though; you love variety.

Zuli moans slightly as you attend to her breasts, redoubling her kissing as she holds your face to hers, as if desperate to keep you from pulling away. That is, until you pinch her nipple a bit.

"HNYAAAAAAAAAAH!?" Zuli cries out, releasing your mouth and arching her back at the sudden intense stimulation. You chuckle, tweaking her nipples a few more times to cause the red oni to jerk.

"Lincooooln...." She pants your name roughly, and you feel your hard-on strain against your pants. GodDAMN, you love this girl's voice. Tomboy's are so fucking awesome.

Deciding she's earned a bit of reward, you distract her by playing with her sensitive nipples a bit more with one hand while your other travels south......

"My, aren't you having fun."

Only to jerk your head backwards to notice the Izaya standing in the doorway, grin making you feel doomed right from the moment you see it.

"Ahahaha......well......this is....." You pause for a moment, not really coming up with any good excuses. "Yeah, this is pretty much exactly what it looks like."

The matriarch smirks, before pointing to Zuli. "Really? So your idea of foreplay is having her fall asleep on top of you?"

You whip your head back to look, and indeed, Zuli is snoozing on your chest, breathing steadily as she slumbers. But.....but......! You were SO CLOSE......!

"Goddamnitall." You grumble, slowly edging your way out from under the sleeping red oni, who doesn't even stir. Izaya only chuckles at your plight.

"Awwwww, such a shame, isn't it? Well, to be fair, I think this may be for the best." She nods towards the sleeping spitfire, a bit of a serious look crossing her face. "Something tells me that woman's issues may be a bit more deep than you're aware of. Might be for the best that you don't sleep with her while she's dead drunk. Call it a woman's intuition."

You grumble and swear a bit more under your breath before reluctantly nodding. You GUESS she's right.....Zuli's been a bit more on-and-off about what she wants you to be to her, what with all the rage-punching you into paste. Moira, bless her heart, was actually more unsure about YOUR consent. You may be a drunken alcoholic who extols the virtues of hilariously liquored-up lovemaking, but you draw the line at non-consensual. Izaya may have just saved your neck there.

Or maybe she didn't, and you just missed out on an awesome drunken fuckfest with a hot red oni. Too late to worry about it now.

You sigh heavily. May as well do diplomacy crap to get your mind off your aching boner.

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [offer to help repair the village]

[ ] [drive off into the sunset with no idea where you're going]

[ ] [head back to the rift to report successful agreement]

[ ] [ask about other potential rift locations]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22372062
liquor
help repair (with ALCOHOLIC SCIENCE!)
liquor
questions
liquor
drive off singing "I'm a poor lonesome hobo"
did I mention liquor?

>And with THAT little bit of cockblock trolling, I'm off to bed so I can continue properly tomorrow.
>HUEHUEHUE

>>22372062
I think I'll add a few more options before I pass out.

[ ] [sulk]

[ ] [drink self into unconsciousness]

[ ] [ask Izaya for relationship advice (and hit on her)]

>>22372087
Jesus tape everything back together, while talking about rifts.

>>22372151
Oho.
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [sulk]
[X] [drink self into unconsciousness]
[X] [fail]
[X] [sulk]
[X] [eventually ask Izaya for relationship advice (and hit on her)]

>>22372162
Jesus tape?

>>22372151
Sulk, rifts and relationship advice.

Rolled 20

>>22372062
>[X] [ask Izaya for relationship advice (and hit on her)]
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [ask Izaya for relationship advice (and hit on her)]
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [offer to help repair the village]

Rolled 18

>>22372216
finally, all i've done tonight is consistently roll low

>>22372192
Jesus tape is what finns and swedes call duck tape.

"Jesus saves, the guy does too."

Rolled 9

>>22372216
>>[X] [ask Izaya for relationship advice (and hit on her)]
>>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>>[X] [ask Izaya for relationship advice (and hit on her)]
>>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>>[X] [offer to help repair the village]
This is a good thing

>>22372216

i will second this, despite the 20 almost guaranteeing it...

Also, Story Book Links;

The Misadventures Of Lincoln Bismuth, Drunken Hobo Extraordinaire
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QmsMoDt0fmOclLoslO4vchn04oTdqmdPdZd_7roTYXU/edit

The Book Of HUE's & UNDO's
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxtD2LOcLrQpM-c9EGLpNLqHPpf4tT2RbtDU-Xs7oQ/edit

Rolled 20

>>22372673
well we had a 20 before and got cock blocked soo...

Rolled 14

>>22372683
now we have another 20, im on a roll

>>22372683

the cock block can be explained by the two 1's carried over from a couple of threads ago. That, and Zuli needs more than one 20 for us to get it on with her...

Rolled 1

>>22372708
well shes got it now

Rolled 14

>>22372724
2 20's then a 1, im on fire

Rolled 7

>>22372732
perhaps you may look into some water then, I hear its good for that ailment.

>>22372745

you forget, Booze is ALWAYS the best solution...

Rolled 12

>>22372913
booze in the form of drunken fox girl vomit? becuse that worked awesome last time we were on fire, or fire on booze, too drunk to remember

>>22372937
That worked beautifully, we got another minislime out of it.

Rolled 1

>>22373348
yes it did, we should try that again

Rolled 20

>>22373526
*applause*

>>22373526
>>22373534

My God! so many 20s and 1s... HK is going to be inundated with HUE and EPIC posts for the next three days...

Rolled 20

>>22373551
hahahaha this is the best thread yet

Rolled 4

>>22373589
IT WONT STOP

Rolled 12

>>22373594
YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW - THIS TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES.

>>22373610

4 x 20s
2 x 1s

and counting...

now, topic of discussion for this break; Plans for the Skeleton & Zombie Girls we have been promised/suggested/joked about....
or any plans for any monster girls.

Rolled 17

>>22373655
we should totally go capture our castle, then set it on fire to attract a hot dragon girl

Rolled 6

>>22373655
How does one bone a skeleton?

File: 1357228120270.png-(166 KB, 384x600, Skeleton.png)

>>22373782

DOHOHOHOHO!!!

it does depend upon the composition of said skeleton, but based on the MGI
< This is a skeleton girl...
and how to bone her, should be self explanatory...

if not, MAGIC-DRUNKEN-HOBO-SCIENCE-SWAG!!!

>>22373782
Hoboswag.
>>22373655
Id like to see dryads. Sexy tree ladies. OR fire elementals.

>>22373970

Why not Both?

we shall use HOBO CHARISMA to broker Peace between FIRE and TREES!!! and then make SWEET LOVE to both...

Rolled 18

>>22373970
A dryad with a deceased fire elemental's spirit soulbound to her? A sexy tree lady who is perpetually on fire. The embodiment of the eternal forest fire.

>>22373984
10/10 plan, would enact immediately.

Rolled 20

>>22373989
Or a tree lady who is in lesbians with a fire elemental but their love can never be until a certain enterprising hobo intervenes.

Thats like, at least three different types of forbidden love right there.

>>22375003
Thus it was written, thus it shall be.

>>22375003

5 x 20
2 x 1

and all we need now is a HoboKing... i fear that this one is the hardest of all to acquire...

Rolled 13

I am considering to have a shot at the MonsterLab Quest to amuse the audience in the meantime (since my hand hasn't healed yet, but I can type). But I don't really know if I'll be able to pull it off. Plus it's someone's else idea, and I'd feel like stealing it.

Also I come back to dryad/fire lesbians. You never fail to amuse me /tg/.

>>22375375

you could always make your own sub quest. i mean, if you don't really feel like it, i could run another episode of Angry General Quest...

>>22375375
YOU are Washington Bismuth, SCIENTIST OF MADNESS, and proud father of a slime girl. THE LIGHT OF YOUR LIFE is currently making breakfast in the other room. YOU have an egg that is about to become a slime. WHAT WILL YOU DO?

>[ ] give egg to rachel so as not to have your brain probed again

>[ ] accept brain probings

>[X] Imbibe alcohol

>[ ] other

>>22375375
I still remember the day /tg/ made a fire elemental girl stuck to a giant candle who makes love with her own flickering shadow.

>>22375407

meditate on resisting the pain of brain probing. probably by imbibing quantities of alcohol...

Rolled 8

>>22375402

Well, I remember that someone suggested I could be a designer for that whole MonsterLab thing?

I don't know to be honest. I'm more of a serious-style writefag, and I doubt it'd fit in this thread. Plus I don't drink much, so that would put a HUGE strain on the experience.

Fuck, I'm derailing the thread again, am I?

>>22375429
One cannot derail Hobo rift quest, only add to the hilarity.

>>22375429

that would have been me offering. mostly because i am an eccentric not-millionaire... once i make the millions, THEN i will employ the hivemind to make SCIENCE!!!

this opinion is most likely full of shit and insanity. the management offers apologies to those affected by this crap

>>22375407
give egg

>>22375407
[X] Accept brain probings.

We must be giving to our children

Alright, two for and one against brain probing. WELP.
Opening your trusty BOTTLE OF VODKA you quickly empty it into your mouth. Because if Rachel was any indication, this whole brain probing thing is going to hurt. A lot. Just thinking about it is making your head hurt. Hell, maybe you should get that breakfast Rachel is making. Wandering over to the kitchen, egg in tow, you find...
SO
MUCH
BACON
I mean, sure theres other stuff, but the girl made you MOUNDS of bacon. Its almost like she can read your mi- Ow.
"Help yourself dad, I don't know what I eat, so I was just making stuff with lots of protein and fats. Turns out I just eat jello, so theres more than enough for you."
However, just as you settle in, the custard egg sucks in on itself and grows a head. Its a pretty adorable head too, so you probably have another daughter. Cute as she is though, she's already reaching for your face.
>ROLL FOR BLACKOUTS

Rolled 20

>>22378960

TAKE IT LIKE A DRUNKEN SCIENTIST!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avYBuijHPBI

>>22379023
Welp. Oh wait. HAHAHAHA, YOU FAILED TO BLACK OUT,

File: 1357253644743.jpg-(38 KB, 634x319, Drunk Science.jpg)

>>22379047

Never underestimate the power...

the power of...

DRUNK SCIENCE!!!

>>22372216
>>22372683
>>22372724
>>22373526
>>22373534
>>22373589
>>22375003
>>22379023
WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING.

>>22372708
Cockblock can be explained by: you rolled a 20, thus earning the right to something resembling a sex scene. You also rolled three 1s at the beginning of this thread alone, thus ensuring trolololol.

I should point out that the only reason you got Moira earlier is because of fantastic rolling. NORMALLY, sex scenes happen naturally; the only way to get them ahead of time is to roll really well. So you guys are promised sex scenes, but your only way to get them sooner rather than later is to roll well when I give you the opportunity. Telling you this ensures that you will roll like crazy, thus ensuring more 1s to feed my ever-growing need for HUE. IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN.

>>22375413
You will explain this shit RIGHT NOW.

>>22379113

HK, i've got an idea for you. it is only a skeletal idea, but there is plenty of opportunisties for you to unleash HUE, as well as plot...

if you care, let me know how to forward the idea to you, as i assume that you want to keep such things as a surprise for everyone.

>>22379200
Forward all ideas, comments, concerns, etc. that you do not want reaching general knowledge to riftquest@gmail.com.

>>22379113
So we better fuck Izaya before those 1 start falling again. And where the hell is her daughter?! Incest is better to not happen without involvement of milf. And hobo.

>>22379023
You brace yourself with a quick chug from a whiskey bottle you found, as the pseudopod approaches your nasal cavity. It oozes its way in through cracks in your skull. And then, oddly, when it reaches your brain you don't pass out. You just slump in your chair as you can FEEL the electrical impulses in your child's body. And oddly enough, even though your brain shouldn't have nerve endings, it feels tingly. You decide to stop thinking about the implications of that, and concentrate on not giving yourself brain damage by moving. More and more of the girl is moving into your brain as it absorbs knowledge from you. Your eyes meet Rachel's, and they ask only why. She has no answer. But after what feels like 10 minutes, but has actually been 2 hours, the new daughter withdraws with a sound like wet paper ripping and speaks her first words.

"You sir, are one hell of a pervert."

"I noticed that too when I was up there."
>DAUGHTERS GANGING UP ON YOU, WHAT DO?
>ALSO, NAME NEW SLIME

>>22379363

"It is not perversion, but THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF A SCIENTIFIC MIND! REGULAR SEXUAL ESCAPADES MEAN NOTHING TO ME!"

And name her Vivian.

>>22379413

seconding both the reply and name

Rolled 12

>>22379413
this and
"It runs in the family"
It'll scare the crap out of our daughters that somewhere inside them they are massive pervs as well.

>>22379413
>>22379519
>>22380396
"It is not perversion, but THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF A SCIENTIFIC MIND! REGULAR SEXUAL ESCAPADES MEAN NOTHING TO ME! ALSO, you should be afraid, you absorbed my mind. That means you are JUST as perverted as I am Vivian."

"And just who is Vivian?"

"Well, considering the fact that I'm Rachel and he's Washington, I'd say you're Vivian. AND I AM NOT AS PERVERTED AS YOU DAD! I am an innocent maiden, pure as the freshly driven snow."

>ROLL TO NOT BURST OUT LAUGHING

Rolled 9

>>22380494
Nat 1 here we go!

Rolled 14

>>22380494
time to roll

Rolled 2

>>22380494

i have used my liquor card for the thread. i now give all responsibility for the roll to the dice gods...

>>22380693
>>22380679
>>22380512
Struggling to contain the gut wrenching laughter climbing from deep inside you, you decide its too much effort to keep this gift from the world.

"BWAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA-"

"Yeah yeah dad, we get it, I'm perverted also"

"-HAHAHHAHAHHHHHAAAAAAA-"

-10 MINUTES LATER"

"AH ha. Whew. Wow, that was an amazing joke kid."

"Fuck off dad"

>WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR ADORABLE LITTLE GIRLS?
>WELL ONE LOOKS 21, THE OTHER LOOKS LIKE SHES 10
>BUT RACHEL IS STILL YOUR LITTLE GIRL, GOD DAMN IT.

File: 1357260277854.jpg-(88 KB, 641x534, Bueno.jpg)

Rolled 1

>>22380782
Make them kiss.

>>22380782

"Vivian, how grown up would you like to be? Your sister chose to be 21ish, but i am curious as to your preference. And Rachel, I'm sure you want some time to get to know your little sister, so I'm going to go over here, and find some cloths for Vivian...."


>>22380818

and there is your one. enjoy it.

>>22380818
huehuehue...

>>22381256

The vore is spreading to the side-stories.

Rolled 14

>>22380879
just read your archives, you should probably separate out the monster lab stuff from the main quest, makes both of them far easier to read.

So I've got one faux-incest and one find clothes.
DUNNO WHAT TO DOOOOOOOO

File: 1357262211894.jpg-(30 KB, 546x401, Both.jpg)

>>22381348
Make her earn her shirt.

Rolled 1

>>22381348
Imbibe liquor.

>>22381371
In Hobo quest, LIQUOR IMBIBES YOUUUUUU
>>22381256
gibe vore P L S

>>22381362
But I do need to make one thing clear. I don't like child porn. Even if its just written, it makes me feel terrible. So I doubt I will be writing loli incest.

I apologize for my rather conspicuous absence so far today. While I am monitoring the thread, most of today has been filled with getting resume stuff and references in order, so please bear with me a while longer. I'll have something good for you guys once I get everything set straight.

"NOW KISS!", you yell, smashing your daughters faces together.

"DAD, WHA-", Rachel screams, only to be cut off by crashing mouth first into her younger sibling.

Together, their faces lose their features, and for a moment they simply look like two formless masses of different-colored slime pressed together.

However, as their faces begin to form, it dawns on you that they are, as you ordered, kissing. But not the way you'd expect them to. Oh no.

Or should you say oh yes? Your two daughters joined in an embrace, and are kissing each other passionately. Really passionately. It's kind of hard to see, but your trained, perveted eye can tell they're tongue wrestling pretty hard. And enjoying it too, if their moans are any indication.

You begin to notice an uncomfortable bulge in your pants. Did you leave something in your pockets.

No wait, that's a boner.

You unzip, unwilling to merely observe this spectacle, and begin to jack off right there in front of your adult and loli daughter.

Man, you think, that /d/ website would have a field day with this.

The spectacle continues, and your daughters don't even seem to notice your crescendo of grunts and squishy sounds.

Finally, you release, spraying both of your daughters. That seems to get their attention.

>>22381409
I was joking anyways and much like you, I actually dislike loli.
>captcha - his huenointed
Well then, captcha.

Well, I actually have to end MLQ, because I have shit to go do. WILL CONTINUE WITH MY HERETICALNESS LATER.

Both of them yelp in alarm, then look down at the semen dissolving inside them.

"Wait, what... IS THIS?"

Rachel says, her confusion turning into excitement.

"This is DELICIOUS!"

Her sister adds, in a slightly off-sounding voice.

"Mmm- ah! I want some more!"

Your scion says as she pushes you to the floor. Hmm... her voice sounds kind of funny as well.

Oh wait, your daughters are greedily sucking you off, who cares.

Even though you just came, you are almost instantly aroused again. You close your eyes and lean back into the bliss, occasionly looking down to see each sister playfully fight over your cock.

Hmm... Their voices are starting to sound... deeper?

Your thoughts are cut off as your cock explodes into an orgasm.

You fall back, panting, and begin to hear your daughters more clearly.

"YES! YES! THIS IS DELICIOUS!"

Your youngest cries in a voice you don't recognize. Wait, is she wearing a comissar ca-

"METUL GEEEEEEER!"

Her sister adds. Wait, when did Rachel grow a beard and get a bandanna?

The horrifying truth dawns on you.

"NOOOO!", you scream, as your man-daughters devour you and continue to yell their odd frases.

>huehuehueHUAHEUHUE

File: 1357263359084.jpg-(78 KB, 1202x812, Rachels Birth.jpg)

>>22381505

i offer you my take on Rachel's Birth.


>>22381326
MLQ is Lincoln's doll action figure play time. also, the Story Book has MLQ separated with a line of hyphens...

Rolled 4

>>22381677
That may be, but by not separating them it makes it nearly impossible to find individual segments of MLQ

>>22381758

did you want me to make a MLQ compilation in conjunction with the Continuum and HUE ones?

Rolled 8

>>22381804
would be helpful, it's a continuous story but the way it's archived now it's really difficult to follow.

It's not that I don't see your point with leaving it interspersed with the main quest either, just that narrative continuity is a good thing.

>>22381987

here you go. One MLQ Story Book.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1noB752pjVMZ3XIblMLnduYU-mpVREjP5ECsdjGb6haw/edit

also, what does everyone think about changing Raider to Archivist?

Rolled 5

>>22382073
So long as you refrain from a secure trip you are not a jerk faceless person who may or may not be a respectable member of a community.

>>22382279

thank you. i was unsure of the proper eticate of altering ones name.

>>22382390
Well faceless, I feel flattered that you would make the effort to catalogue my insanity. And you went and drew Rachel coming to life. It makes me SO HAPPY.

>>22383747

Hobo Rift Quest is a lovely little collective madness, isn't it? We're all a dysfuntional, perverted, drunken family.

>>22383747

you are most welcome. i had been toying around with the idea of compiling quest thread update posts into one document for a while, but i never acted on it until a few threads ago, one anon commented on how it would be nice to have all the updates without all of the votes and OOC. so, having nothing better to do, i created The Story Book. but with all the various HUE's occuring, having them in the story book would just get confusing, so i also created the HUE's & UNDO's book. it is a practice that could be applied to any quest thread, by anyone.

and you are welcome for the little story board. though i must admit, i was never the best at artwork or story boarding... my strengths were in the review and editing of concept ideas. though, i'll do some sketches if i'm bored or if something piques my interest.

>>22383875
A most apt statement. though i feel as though i need to admit to, what is effectively a betrayal to the quest...
I have not and do not drink any alcohol. ever.

Rolled 7

>>22384057
I must admit to the same, although I make up for it with sleep deprivation + caffeine abuse

>>22384057
I got no booze where I am. And no way to get more.

Rolled 19

>>22384460
I do believe that just by reading (and participating) in Lincoln's drunken shenanigans can get us drunk because of his HOBO BOOZE MAGICS

Rolled 5

>>22384057
>>22384405
>>22384460
I only drink responsibly and in moderation when amongst friends.

It's kind of like the vanilla sex in the missionary position with the lights out for the sole purpose of procreation, of the drinking world.

speaking of which, we should totally do that with Zuli.

Rolled 18

>>22384579
>purpose of procreation
>Zuli.
>mini Zuli's

best idea ever

Rolled 15

>>22384579

And her sister. We need to save and recruit zuli's blue sister... and together they will make the PURPLE ONI OF LOVE! And zuli will be fixed.

Rolling for info on zuli's sister

>>22384645
She is blue. And nerdy.

>>22384653

Maybe Lord Douchewaffle knows where she is. We shall have to go and ask him. And we can liberate our castle while we are there.

>>22384653
And yes, I have justification for nerdy. She treats Minerva like a surrogate sister, and would presumably only do so if she had some attribute to replace her actua sister. I assume Zuli's sister is not in fact an airhead, or made of bubbles, and Zuli was unaware of the love of ferals. That leaves an appetite for reading. Combine this circumstantial evidence with the direct evidence that zuli has the fiery temper of a red oni, it can be assumed her sister has the calmer demeanor of a blue.
>>22384724
The US doesn't employ torture though.
We totally do

Rolled 12

>>22384724
if by "liberate" you mean cleanse douchewaffle's taint from the castle with fire, then i approve of this plan

>>22384776
Fire doesn't solve everything. besides, stone doesn't burn all that well.

Rolled 3

>>22384810
exactly, the castle will remain intact and ready for us to redecorate with our awesome hobo interior decorating skills

>>22384874
Which will basically just be booze storerooms and monstergirl mudwrestling pits wherever you go.

Rolled 14

>>22384902
i see nothing wrong with this

The fact that I can go and do actual boring work crap when I have to and come back to find hilarious discussion without fail make me happy.

You guys are awesome and I'm sorry today's been such a shit day for writefaggotry. But I have finally gotten all the crap out of the way, and can continue.

......what was the consensus vote again? Fuck.

>>22385297
It involved drinking.

>>22385297
All I can see is
[X] ask izaya for relationship advice
[X] imbibe liquor

>>22385358
Thank you Captain Obvious, Defender of Everything We Already Know.

Rolled 5

>>22385297
amidst the sea of 20's and 1's I believe >>22372305 was a popular vote

>>22385380
>>22385621
>>22385358
>>22385592

Drunk solicitations of advice from a foxgirl matriarch of undetermined age it is, then.

>>22385883
Hey, all that matters is FLUFFY TAIL

>>22385942
Correction: Tails, plural. We're pretty much guaranteed to drown in a sea of fluffy tails at this point.

You grab yourself another bottle out of your endless pockets, grumbling under your breath as you crack open the top and down the sweet intoxication serum.

THIS close. You were THIS close to delicious red oni sexing times. And then one moment of distraction from Izaya and....and......

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH." You moan, drowning your sorrows the way you deal with every problem, event, or stimuli from the outside world: drinking.

"Oh, come now." Izaya smirks, walking back over to her chair, patting you on the head. "A man does not lament every lost conquest."

"He does when they're comprised of hot monstergirl ass...." You grumble, opening up your second bottle and beginning to do the same to it as the first.

"Hmmmmm. I non-human species would be rather exotic to you, wouldn't they? Though I'm afraid I cannot understand the level of fervor with which you pursue your desire....."

You finish your current mouthful of vodka before speaking, feeling slightly candid for the moment.. "I've dreamed of monstergirls my whole life, Izaya. Delicious, delicious monstergirls. Nothing like boring-ass normal people, who want me to get a job or wear stuffy boring clothes and can't even hold a bit of liquor. THEY SUCK! And they want me to suck with them. Hell if I'll let that happen."

"Hmmmmmm. So you say. I suppose I can understand that...." Izaya muses, though you can read that look in her eyes. She thinks there's more.

You say nothing. There's some shit that you just don't talk about; it ruins the buzz. Time to change the subject.

"Well, if you can understand, then perhaps you can give me some.....'pointers'?" You smirk at her, immediately shifting back into Hobo Attack Mode.

"Oho? And what would those consist of?" Izaya lounges across her chair lazily, reveling in the lingering intoxication as she stares at you with interest.

"Well, I'll admit that, despite my tremendous quantities of Hobo SWAG, I've never even SEEN most non-human species, let alone interacted with them. It'd be nice to know how to.....get along better." You throw her a wink and a grin with the last part. Hey, she's right on one thing: there's no point in moping. Not when there's so many more opportunities you might miss.

The matriarch laughs, swishing her tails to and fro. Fluuuuuuuffyyyy.......wait, no, she's saying something, pay attention. "Your honesty may be bold and uncultured, but I will admit it's nice to talk so candidly for once. Every day of dealing with the other species is a constant battle.....trying not to offend anyone or step on claws, toes, whatever......" She sighs heavily, though you just stare at her boobs. "It can get exhausting. I will admit.....I at least have a personal interest in whatever grand schemes you were shouting earlier."

"Ah. Heard that, did you?" You laugh, starting on your third bottle in a much better mood. "I meant every word, you know. Except when I didn't. I deny everything, and admit everything at the same time."

"You seem to do that a lot." The nine-tailed inari comments, staring at you with a lazy, appraising look in her eyes. "But in any case, I shall do you one better than mere advice. I shall send my daughters with you on this grand mission of yours. They shall advise you on whatever you need. Does this sound desirable?"

You burp lightly. "Long as you don't mind me tryin' to bang 'em." You bluntly state, giving no fucks.

"I really didn't expect anything less. And if you're as capable as you act, there's little I could do to stop you anyway." She shrugs nonchalantly, seeming rather unconcerned with the idea of you banging both of her daughters. "Do you accept, then?"

[ ] [HELL YEAH, DELICIOUS MONSTERGIRL ASS]

[ ] [what's the catch, your tailsiness?]

[ ] [and how do I get to bang YOU?]

[ ] [change subject]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 10

>>22386990
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [what's the catch, your tailsiness?]
>[X] [and how do I get to bang YOU?]
>[X] [HELL YEAH, DELICIOUS MONSTERGIRL ASS]
>[X] [imbibe liquor]

Rolled 13

>>22387027
Seconding

Rolled 3

>>22387027
[X] [MAXIMUM HOBO SWAG OPTION]

>>22387027
Fourthing.

Rolled 7

>>22387147
>not rolling for maximum hilarity

Rolled 6

>>22387167
Oh, forgot to roll.

>>22386990

[ ] [imbibe liquor]
[ ] [HELL YEAH, DELICIOUS MONSTERGIRL ASS]
[ ] [imbibe liquor]
[ ] [what's the catch, your tailsiness?]
[ ] [and how do I get to bang YOU?]
[ ] [imbibe liquor]
[ ] [Find out what awesome weapons they might have as well. Never know when you might need to blow something away, using it as ammo in your tank cannon.

Rolled 3

>>22387800
>not rolling for maximum hilarity

Rolled 16

>>22387027
rollan for this

You slurp down the last drops of your third bottle.....

.....before abruptly smashing it over your head, causing Izaya to jump. Hurling the broken neck off to the side of the room, you grin at the staring matriarch, a little bit of blood leaking down your face.

"Ahahahaha. Wow. Nearly caught me off-guard there for a second." You snicker, adrenaline beginning to mix with the alcohol to bring out MAXIMUM HOBO SWAG MODE.

"There's a catch, isn't there? There's always a catch. You're a nine-tailed inari of all things; there's no way in hell you don't have an angle, lady." You point an dramatically accusing finger at the matriarch, who has overcome her previously startled state and is now smirking at you.

"Not exactly the way I was expecting you to catch it......but then again, you aren't exactly a predictable individual, whelp." She raises from her chair, and once again the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as she makes her power felt throughout the whole hut. Zuli and Moira shift uncomfortably in their slumber as the heat goes up.

"I am offering you a deal here, Lincoln. Not some boring alliance with the country you're working for, but a deal with YOU. Your display of guts, ridiculous as they may have been, impressed me. When you have lived as long as I, you prefer to place your bets on people, rather than nations. It's....more interesting, that way."

You're trying your best to listen, but you're sort of distracted by how hot she is when she acts like this. How many years of experience must she have? Yeah, this one is god-tier level acquisition. No way you're not hitting on her every chance you get. Your Hobo Swag demands it.

"You will take my daughters with you, Lincoln. They will assist you. And in return? You will look after the interests of the fox tribes, and make sure they have a place in the coming of the new world. I am not foolish, and neither are some of the other leaders. I will not pass up the opportunity presented to me by finding out first." Her voice is low and serious, formidable gaze staring you down.

To your credit, you grin just as brazenly and insanely as you always do. You do not fear death, only sobriety. "I think I can make sure of that, matriarch Izaya. What kind of hobo would I be if I judged others?" You spread your arms wide, your tone mocking as if to defy her demands as much as accede to them.

"Then we have an accord." The matriarch smirks.

"Nooooooot quite, foxy lady. There is still ONE thing to our deal."

She narrows her gaze at you, eyes cold. "And that would be?"

You playfully flick one of the ends of her tails as it swishes past you. "How do I get YOU in bed, oh bearer of the fluffy tails?" You grin cheekily at her, and her face turns to one filled with a mixture of amusement and just a hint of crazy.

"HA! You would be so bold. But I'm afraid I will not be so easily caught as your others, who's issues you can simply sooth to have them fall into your arms." She paces slowly around you, giving you an appraising stare.

"I have had many lovers, Lincoln, and I have long since grown bored of the pleasantries and false bravado of lesser men. I have even lost interest in that which is provided by those of higher pedigree: wealth, status. What need have I for those? For all their apparent value, the men still pursue ME in the end. No, only one thing interests me now."

Her tails suddenly dart out, seizing you and hauling you into the air above her, where her eyes blaze into your own. "I want something NEW. This world has grown boring, with its constant squabbling and petty conflicts. Nothing interesting will come of it. You? You present an opportunity." She pulls you in close, hissing the next words into your face. "Build me a new WORLD, Lincoln. Show me sights I have never seen before. If you can do that.....you'll get your chance." She grins with eyes full of promise.

Well. That's quite an offer. I mean, you ARE openly trying to bed a NINE-TAILED INARI MATRIARCH, who has been around for FUCK knows how long. You really shouldn't have expected anything less.

And you? You are a crazy, alcoholic hobo. You benefit from extreme megalomania, intermittent delusions, and an ego the size of a continent. So really, she shouldn't expect anything less of your response.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!" You bellow triumphantly, giving a rough squeeze to her MILF motherloads.

File: 1357284585945.jpg-(3 KB, 127x122, Pfft.jpg)

Rolled 14

>>22387999
>HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

Rolled 7

>>22387999
for a moment there i thought it would end in vore and HUE but I am glad it didn't

>>22387999
honking a goddess?

im down with that.

---5 MINUTES LATER---

"Oh, quit pouting. I only let you burn for a little bit. I have killed others for less." The inari matriarch scoffs at you as you down another two bottles of liquor at once.

"You put yet ANOTHER burn on my suit." You grumble, still brushing the soot off of your clothes. Though at least you didn't get scorched. ....You're questioning whether it may be necessary to wear clothing when bedding any of these foxgirls. Burns in sensitive places do not make a happy hobo.

"And I helped you put it out, didn't I? I told you what I believe about lamenting." Izaya swishes her tails dismissively as she reseats herself. "Now, having said my peace, there are still things we should probably take care of, yes? I believe you had more questions to ask me."

You do indeed. Most of them having to do with enabling your continued acquisition of more monstergirls.

>What to ask now?

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [ask about other potential rift locations]

[ ] [ask about any legends, mysteries, POTENTIAL FOR MYSTICAL TREASURE]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22388975
Well, fuckit. Can't disregard that obvious hook.

Treasure?

>>22389015
Know that anything I put up may or may not be a hook, or just something I dreamed up to fill space in the choices. You can both trust me completely and not trust me at all.

>>22388975
"You're right: And you only burned me a little bit. You must like me a lot, huh?"

>Imbibe liquor
>Ask about other potential rift locations. She's seen some shit.
>Ask about legends, mysteries, and POTENTIAL MYSTICAL TREASURE and any impact it might have on the obtaining of foxgirl booty.
>Imbibe liquor
>Proceed to ask about the rest of non-human lands while petting her big, fluffy tails. Tails are sensitive, so really big and fluffy ones equal ALL THE SENSITIVITY.
>Imbibe liquor and hope she doesn't murder us.

Rolled 17

>>22389034
>Tail petting the ancient godess of foxgirls
>IT CANNOT GO WRONG

Rolled 16

>>22389083
Lincoln could very well die in his adventures, this could be his one and only shot at petting the fluffiest of tails, it should not be passed up.

Rolled 20

>>22389115
>>22389083
>>22389034
Damn straight. Mr. Miyagi would approve of the wax-on wax-off approach to a nine-tailed foxgirl. Wax-on the hands, wax-off with honking.

I mean, what's she gonna do in the face of Hobo Swag? NOT give in?

Rolled 18

>>22389140
Welp.

>>22389151
>>22389140
>>22389115
>>22389083
I can't contain... all these high rolls.

I guess that the dice desire for the mother of all MILFs to ride the Hobo Express.

Rolled 11

>>22389140
at the very least she's going to get her tails thoroughly petted.

"Before I do, I have a request." Time to get straight to the heart of things.

"Ho? And what's that?"

"I wanna pet the fluffy."

"...........I'm sorry, what?" The matriarch, for the first time, looks dumbfounded.

"Fluffy tails. Pet. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay." You state completely without humor. You've never been so serious in your life.

"You wish to....pet my tails. Me. The de-facto leader of the fox-tribes, capable of burning who forests to the ground should I wish." The inari attempts to confirm your apparent request, and only looks more skeptical when you nod your head in the affirmative.

".......And why, exactly, should I do you this honor?" The inari stares at you with an expression of impatience on her face, obviously not amused.

"I'll get the military to give you guns."

"What are---"

"The bang-sticks. Training, too. Inari and youko special forces. That way, even if I fail, you'll have a definite advantage. At least for a while."

"That's a most enticing offer, but I don't see what it has to do with---"

"WOMAN, I AM ABOUT TO GO TRY TO DRINK, FUCK, AND CONQUER AN ENTIRE WORLD. THERE IS A 99% CHANCE I AM GOING TO BITE THE BIG ONE. GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY OF FLUFFY, SWEET CHRIST ON A CRACKER."

The nine-tailed pseudo-goddess sighs heavily, shaking her head in her hands before looking back up at you.

"Fine. I suppose your request is not THAT much of an imposition. You may.....pet....my tails." She says with a slightly uncomfortable look on her face. Could she not be used to this?

.......And if so: IS EVERY MAN ON THIS FUCKING DIMENSIONAL PLANE A FUCKING MORON!?

"BONZAAAAAIIIIII!" You scream, leaping up and hurling yourself head-first into the mass of fluffy tails.

---10 MINUTES LATER---

"Fluuuuuuuuuuuffffyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....................&quot; You deliriously croon as you shift back and forth, hugging as much tail as you can possibly hold.

".....erm......this is...Lincoln, I'm afraid I'm not really......ah.....understanding why you're....." The inari matriarch, for all her power, fidgets in her seat, a light blush noticeable on her face.

"Are you serious? Dear god, they're so fucking soft. Oh man, I could SLEEP in these things! I WOULD SLEEP FOREVER AND I'D BE PERFECTLY FINE WITH THAT. I'll just hook myself up to an ethanol IV or something." You cuddle the delicious foxtails, reveling in their absolutely fluffiness. "Don't tell me that you've never actually let people pet them? Why the hell not!?"

Izaya shifts in noticeable discomfort, answering you hestitantly. "I...it is not in the nature of kitsune to.... let their tails be so easily touched.... by others. N-Nine-tails like me can use them as you've seen, yes....but it's an entirely different tale to let others touch of their own accord."

"Huh. That's nifty." You reply back, mind hazy from all the soft fluffy goodness. "So, they're sensitive, eh? Then why aren't you moaning like Illiana did when I touched hers?"

She shoots you a glare through her embarrassment. "D-Do not insult me, whelp! I have lived before you were even a gleam in the mind of your father." She raises herself up with a bit of haughty pride. "Unlike my naive daughter, I have self-control."

"Oho? Reeeaaaalllly?" You drawl, bad ideas already filling your head. Oh man, this is so going to get you killed. But like you said, you ARE almost certainly going to die trying to put together a harem the likes of which have never been seen by mortal man. May as well go big.

"Self- control doesn't mean you don't feel anything, Izaya. You can't possibly expect me to believe you're not the teensiest bit turned-on?" You innocently remark, running your hand down the length of one of her tails to emphasize your statement.

A man of lesser alcohol tolerance and Hobo Swag would have missed it. Hell, if you had BLINKED, you would have missed it. But there it was. A tiny twitch. And she bit her lip ever so slightly.

"IIIIII saaaaawwwww thaaaaaaaat." You giggle maniacally.

The matriarch's face goes dark, shaking slightly with repressed humiliation. She glares at you with defiance and pride, almost enraged at having put all her cards on the table and still having you gotten under her skin when she was at her most straightforward.

"You cocky little whelp." She growls, staring at you angrily. You meet her gaze with an unconcerned look. How can you give a shit when you're surrounded by fluffy? "You think you've got the upper hand now, don't you?"

"Maaayyyybe a little." You hold up a finger and a thumb, barely separated to illustrate.

"Well.....allow me to give you a taste of that which you chase so doggedly. Perhaps that shall quell some of your bravado." In an instant, you find the tails around you turn prehensile, seizing you and immediately beginning to relieve you of your pants.

"WHOA, IZAYA! WHAT THE---" But you are cut off by a tail wrapping around your mouth, effectively gagging you as the matriarch gives you a haughty smirk.

"Oh no you don't. Nobody else is coming in here and finding out about this. This is between you and me." She growls out, using her tails to hurl your lower garments from you and immediately grabbing for your boner. Of COURSE you have a boner. It's a FOXGIRL MILF, for fuck's sake.

All rational thought is lost, however, as she curls the ends of at least three of her tails around your cock. You reflexively moan into the tail gagging you; it's like you're being jacked off with something made of pure silk. The smoothness is indescribable; it's all you can do not to immediately blow your load.

"Ho. Not so confident now, are we? Let's see how long you can handle this...." The inari chuckles darkly, increasing the speed of her tails ministrations. She works them up and down, even spiraling them around your groin in a perverted dance. She's enjoying this, that's for sure; her flushed face and slight twitches reveal that much.

You can't handle this level of skill. A few years of experience would be one thing; an unknowable number of decades is completely different. You gasp and shudder as you splurt all over the matriarch's tails, soaking them in your spooge.

"Ho. A poor show of staying power indeed. Though considering who you were up against, I can't say it was unreasonable." She lifts her tails away from you, leaving you panting on the ground. "Perhaps it is best that you go after other females before I; If you're going to try to bed me, you'd better work up the experience to be worth my time. Although...." She licks at her semen-coated tail tips, licking her lips as she samples it. "....your essence is rather high-quality. You have potential to be a most tasty snack."

Oh great. On top of being able to burn you to ash at a moment's notice and playing extremely hard to get, she's got a semen fetish. Glooooorious.

"Glad I was able to be of at least SOME help..." You mutter, hoisting yourself up off the floor and grabbing for your pants. The inari matriarch laughs slightly.

"What, wind taken from your sails? You can hardly expect someone who's only lived as long as you have to elicit an orgasm out of one such as myself. Certainly not at first meeting."

You only nod grudgingly. Oh, you'll let her laugh. You're going to go out there and bang every goddamn monstergirl you can get your hands on. And when you come back? She'll be screaming your name, same as the rest of them. The Hobo shall not be denied.

"Having gotten that out of the way......I believe it is finally time to stop delaying your diplomatic responsibilities, Lincoln." She gives you a look that says there will be no more delays.

>Ask questions

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [ask about other potential rift locations]

[ ] [ask about any legends, mysteries, POTENTIAL FOR MYSTICAL TREASURE]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>THERE'S YOUR FLUFFY TAILS
>NOW PLEASE STOP ROLLING 20S FOR SEX SCENES
>I'D LIKE TO GET OUT OF THIS VILLAGE BEFORE WE'RE STUCK HERE FOR SEVERAL MORE THREADS BECAUSE OF MY SHITTY POSTING SCHEDULE

File: 1357298799434.jpg-(108 KB, 592x591, Some_4e1eb9_3029226.jpg)

>>22390202
>Forcing the Hobo Swag to be denied

>Also, ask about the potential for hidden treasure, ancient mythical pirate dens, etc.

>Ask about potential rift locations outside our own (will we have to deal with the goddamn Russians trying to enslave our delicious harem)

>Imbibe liquor
>Ask about non-human lands and stuff. >Because, well, additional booty.

Rolled 15

>>22390202
>[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]
then
>[ ] [ask about other potential rift locations]
we need moar supplies and a decent beachhead for when the war of the waifu's starts

also do all of the above while
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
lastly
>[ ] [ask about any legends, mysteries, POTENTIAL FOR MYSTICAL TREASURE]

>>22390313
The Hobo Swag has not been denied, merely delayed.

Really guys? You think you can just waltz up to what is, harem-wise, a boss character and one-shot it right from the beginning? Even this quest has SOME plot progression rules.

....Though I must admit, you guys certainly have balls for trying.

Rolled 8

>>22390328
>Really guys? You think you can just waltz up to what is, harem-wise, a boss character and one-shot it right from the beginning?
...yes?

>>22390338
To be fair, I expected nothing less at this point.

Rolled 15

>>22390328
You're goddamn right we have gigantic Hobo Balls.

Also, didn't sincerely mean to imply that Hobo Swag was denied, but DAMMIT.

She shall be our first boss monster conquest. First, we have to grind up the tiers (Illiana will be next). And by grind, I mean grind-grind. Grinding. With some Gangnam Style in the background.

Also, have a dice roll for
>>22390318
>>22390313

You have been an awesome Hobo King, Hobo King.

>>22390364
You know, I used the term off-handedly, but I am not liking the idea of boss characters for the harem. Yes, I do believe I may throw one or two more of those your way before this is all over. Heheheheheh. I already have some ideas.

>>22390387
Boss monster is fine. Awesome Hobo Swag or not, we have only managed a singular conquest, and even that wasn't on our own terms.

There's bound to be monsters and other things in here requiring a much more seasoned hobo to properly conquer them. Then conquer them again.

Over and over and over.

Rolled 11

>>22390387
>final boss is genderbent alternate universe Johnson

>>22390313
>>22390318
There are only two votes, and you listed them in EXACT OPPOSITE ORDERS.

>>22390318

I will second this order. Also, ask her if she would be willing to be the regent of our first castle. That way, we won't have to worry about Lord Douchewaffles friends taking our castle from us.

Rolled 14

Seconding >>22390313 so that we're still tied and HK is forced to write more HUE to tide everyone (including himself) over.

Nah, just kidding. More HUE wouldn't go amiss, though.

Rolled 15

>>22390540
she could be the head diplomat for Lincolnistan

>>22390581

About halfway through that post I was about ready to have a seizure. You bastard.

>>22390540
>regent of our first castle
>not just giving it to her because everyone knows we'll have much more

Rolled 8

>>22390318
seems like a good idea

>>22390626
Make her Queen of the territory Douchewaffle once ruled over.

>>22390591
Embrace the seizures. They're seizures of love and HUEHUEHUE.

I have to get some sleep. I'll begin yet another massive exposition section when I awake.

Topic of discussion: Which monstergirls would get along, which wouldn't.

Or just discuss whatever you want.

Rolled 7

>>22390802
now that's an interesting discussion.
I think I'll begin with the undead.
possibly have a poor relationship with Dryads and other life loving monsters.

could be out right aggressive against the soul stealing types of demons as thats potential unlives being destroyed.

they have the potential to be allied with spirits and other races with a spiritual background.

may be friendly with less emotional races (like mantis girls, Saharduin etc) if less emotion = less abhorrence of undeath.

highly aggressive to angels and other such beings of divinity for the constant smiting.

Rolled 13

>>22390802

So, planegirls: A-10 or AC-130?

>>22390802
honestly I don't know what monster girl I'd like to have with us does anyone as an encyclopedia or something of the like?

>>22390802
Dryads and Fire elementals would get along perfectly fine. Well, once we turned on teh hobo swag they would

>>22391312
A-10, for the BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!

Rolled 6

>>22393107
>not AC-130 for the BRRRRT BRRRRT POM BRRRRT POM BRRRRT THOOOOM

also AC-130 and its modernized variants have WAY more staying power that a warthog, also seeing as there's no Taliban AAA you can fly them all day and night in riftia HOORAY FOR MORE DAKKA, as opposed to 2 or 3 gun runs and dumping your mavericks then your out

File: 1357317981773.jpg-(56 KB, 899x550, 1356570025544.jpg)

>>22393107
AH AH, NO STOP I'M GOING TO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!

File: 1357317983055.jpg-(23 KB, 794x487, predator-b-drone-mq-9-reaper.jpg)

>>22393197
There's always the MQ-9 Reaper. It can stay up a lot longer without refueling, and has a pretty damn impressive loadout of its own:

>Up to 14 AGM-114 Hellfire air to ground missiles can be carried or four Hellfire missiles and two 500 lb (230 kg) GBU-12 Paveway II laser-guided bombs. The 500 lb (230 kg) GBU-38 Joint Direct Attack Munition (JDAM) can also be carried. Testing is underway to support the operation of the AIM-92 Stinger air-to-air missile.

So, we're all in agreement, then? We need to construct a magical plane-girl golem at some point. To go along with our tank-girl golem.

>>22393568
Agreed

>>22393588

Very good. This means seducing a magically-inclined monstergirl at some point. Thoughts for that? Magical, scholarly monstergirl just needing some lovin' ?

Rolled 11

>>22390802
Mermaids and catgirls probably wouldnt be too fond of each other. Or maybe one would be much too fond of the other.

Batgirls and harpies I could see arguing over air space, but since they're usually most active at different times I don't see it becoming full blown animosity.

The whole fire/plant/water trifecta probably doesn't get along too well.

And for some reason, I see lamias being as much a bane to the catgirls as they are to mermaids. Maybe just because the idea of a lamia climbing up a tree to assault a catgirl and the mental image of a distressed catgirl having her ears unwillingly licked by a much too friendly lamia hilarious. Harpy nests are probably another similar target.

I could see mermaids and scyllas working together to share hunting grounds and catch more fish.

Desertfolk like scorpiongirls and certain lamia tribes probably squabble over land and arachnes are probably mostly solitary.

Onis probably get along with anyone who loves to drink and hates anyone involved in the Prohibition (we should totally tell Zuli about the Prohibition, just to freak her out).

Aaand I put way too much thought into this, didn't I?

>>22391426

just search Monster Girl Index on google. the first result is what HK is using as the base appearence for the various monster girls. or i could just dump the entire thing. your call.


>>22393793
you can never put enough thought into monstergirl relations. if i recall correctly, we had a rather lengthy discussion on how to equip Moira with jet engines, even going so far as how to get her into orbit... though i can't remember why we wanted to do that.....

OH yeah, satellites and moon bases...

>>22394390
We needed a guided propulsion system, after the stage 1 engines had fired (Zuli throwing the thing). Also, Inari engines.

>>22394562

you are now imagining Zero-G slimegirls... they would get EVERYWHERE!

>>22394562
Slimegirl landing capsule. Sorta like what they did with those drones and the airbags on mars, but instead a giant blob of sentient goo.

>>22394672
Thats what I had in mind, yes. And Bubble slimes for air storage.

>>22394734

Dryads for food production?

Does Riftia have moons? We may need to start up a space program.

>>22394801
The problem with the moon is we have no idea whats up there. There could be moon monstergirls. Also, dryads would need theoretically need more water than most other creatures. We should send up cacti-girls as the first wave.

>>22394801
>Dryads for food production?
And oxygen. A being that lives off your waste AND provides fresh air and food would be a huge boon to any and all colonization efforts.

>>22394866

Water elementals. There's the water problem solved. Actually, elementals are going to be essential to any such program.

>>22394866
Regolith Golem girls?

Bunny girls?

And once again, we're trying to design a monstergirl space program. Good times.

Some interesting ideas on relationships. I'll have to take them into consideration.

.....I KNEW we wouldn't get calls for a tankgirl without calls for an accompanying planegirl as well.

>>22398622

also going to need a battleship girl and a submarine girl....

and a bicycle girl....

but no, we did agree that too many vehicle girls would be madness.
and this is not madness.
this is hobo.

>>22398739
Hobo ≥ madness

>>22398775

i understand how Hobo is greater than madness, but how/when is Hobo EQUAL TO madness?

NOTHING is equal to Hobo. not even Hobo is equal to Hobo.... because Hobo is, was and always will be...

[O] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

>>22398816

Only here can we have philosophical discussions about what it is to be Hobo. My God, I love this quest.

I apologize for the long delay on this next post. There is a LOT to sort out, and it's another of those "what I write will affect the entire course of the quest" sort of things.

To your credit, your discussions have kept me laughing the whole time.

>>22401768

it is understandable, especially when what you are writing about transcends all known social limits and bounds.

i have a feeling that by the time Lincoln has united all of Riftia, he will have the ability to make girls orgasm just by looking at them. and many fun times will be had aboard the Lincolnburg, Capital Zeppelin of the world.

HA! I THINK I may have figured it all out. Since there were so many species, I had to figure out a situation that made sense while not splitting a single continent up into a endlessly subdivided, incomprehensible mess.

Just have to iron out a few more kinks and the DAY IS OURS! You know, if it weren't already over. But I'll be able to get back to posting, so that's good too, right?

>>22403951
BANZAI!
... It just seemed appropriate, being in an inari village.