I was just saying our civilization will revolve around farms and douchebaggery

>>22114779
One of your tentacle men have been observing the birds, seeing their patterns as they cartwheel through the sky. He thinks about them each second of the way, while he eats, works, bathes, and masturbates... and finally he has come to understand them. They are complete fucking douchebags who will only respect an even bigger douche.

Dawning tentacle gel and a lot of gold rings (also a white sewn coral shirt which he can hold up to show off he sweet abb tentacles) he goes to the birds nests and declares himself the Eggusation. The birds see him, confused at first, but it dawns on them they are dealing with a true paragon of douchebaggery. The birds bow before him, and he is their master.
Btw I saved that shit for hilariousness

Douchebag spiked coral armor

Egg farm

>>22114763
Tentacle slingshot egg shooter

Rolled 2

We are split between making douchebag spiked coral armor, and making an egg farm to eat those dick wad bird's young. I'll roll a d2. If it's one we go with the former, if 2 we go with the latter.

roll a d100 to determine effectiveness.

Birds still need to learn to respect us more I vote armor

Rolled 22

>>22114807
For great justice friends

>>22114783
>>22114790
Coral armor that houses little piranha like fish to attack our enemies.

>>22114815
(luckily you get to a bonus to this for tame animal... I will expand on the rules here slightly. if a magic is applicable to an action you gain +10 to your roll depending on the level.

Level 1: Minor
Level 2: Normal
Level 3: Powerful

Since tame animal lets you control the birds you get a plus 30 to this. How does that sound to everyone... or should I make this shit harder and punish you poor sick fucks.

>>22114835
Be nice I'd say

>>22114835
harder harder... harder oh god yes harder

>>22114835
That sounds about good to me since this one isn't the slime adventure.

>>22114835
Your game, your rules. You're here to have fun and lead us with results you choose how you want this one to go.

Rolled 2

THe tentacle monsters head up to the rocky outcropping to get themselves some delicious eggs to devour. Your douche druid... a drouchid perming a sick keg stand in order to keep them at bay. The birds watch in horror as they get the eggs, cracking them open, and devouring the inside... wait did I say horror? I meant disgust... Do you know what you all just did. You just ate bird periods. Mother. Fucking. Periods. You suck fucks. Anyway, all in all they tastes horrible and one of your fellows caught some kind of disease from uncooked egg, he worsens and dies a horrible painful diarrhea death.

>>22114866
Holy shit man, this drouchid shit is killing me

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 20
12 giant dick wad birds
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

Spiked coral doucheyness armor now

>>22114866
>>22114885
Go with this, he's been trying for a while now

>>22114884
Yes! the EPIC Douche Coral Armor must be crafted!

>>22114885
>>22114891
>>22114905
Fucking douche armor, someone roll me a d100

Rolled 27

>>22114915
Round 2 of shit rolls? I think not

Rolled 96

Armor ahoy

Rolled 61

>>22114923
>>22114929
God why

Oh son of a bitch

>>22114923
>>22114929
Which one of you is the one that kept requesting it I feel we should use his roll

>>22114937
My bad bro

>>22114947
>>22114929
I was. It started off just coral armor

>>22114923
Haha, fucking ha.

The drouchid leads his people to the sea, declaring that douchebag coral armor must be made in order to show their dominance over the beasts of the wild. The tentacle monsters begging hacking off large pieces of coral and stacking them by the village, many gleefully (the drouchid drinking copious amount of liquor and grinding up on a tree or something) frolicking an---

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK... IS THAT A FUCKING SHARK?! From the edge of the bay a giant beast of an animal comes, and many try to scurry back to shore, before they can however five are devoured. Fuck... that sucks. At least you got the coral.

~gained, spicky douchebag coral armor... lost 5 tentacle monsters~

(also someone want to give our drouchid a name?)

>>22114962
his name is Bro

>>22114962
Eldric Douchinton

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 15
12 giant dick wad birds
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22114957
He should get to name the Drouchid

>>22114971
>>22114973

Eldric "Bro" Douchinton

>>22114974
F-Fuck
We gotta make dem babies

>>22114974
F. Lets have douche douche tentacle lovin on the beach

>>22114985
Actually changing to douche bird-tentacle hybrid god race

>>22114985
B-b-b-back dat ass up. We needs to fuck

>>22114985
>>22114991
>>22114995
>>22114997

We need some tentacle cushion for the pushin'.

roll me a d100

>>22114962
The drouchids name should be Hassan.

Also, vote for repopulation.

Rolled 22

>>22115009

Rolled 56

>>22115009
stand back
I got this shit
Theres no way ill fuck up a third time

Rolled 89

spoiler alert, bad shit happens

... How can we fail at sex? Did we accidently use a condom or something?

>>22115018
Does it get a bonus or a minus since we're all douchebags?

Rolled 51

>>22115029
if we tried to fuck the birds then they could get pissy, or maybe we are all guys

>>22115029
The hole is sort of difficult to find your first go round.

We should definetly try and fuck the birds.

FLYING OCTOPUS MASTERRACE!!!

>>22115017
The tentacle beasts all commune on the beach in order to begin "TENTACLE GONE WILD", with a shell in place of a video camera the drouchid oversees the festivities. However, tentacice be startin' some drama up in here, gettin' up on Tentim's D (or what ever they use) when she know he be goin' out with Tentaja for like... a whole fucking year now.

Anyway, suffice to say a bitch got stabbed and there is ink on the sand. No reproduction gets done and you have one more dead tentacle monster. GREAT FUCKING JOB.

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 14
12 giant dick wad birds
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115068
>>22115076

Alright step 2
Fuck THOSE BIRDS

We build a huge citadel under the sea out of the coral.

>>22115076
Sling shots

Repopulate again.

And send one octopus to try and fuck a bird. (We get a bonus since they're tamed, right?)

>>22115093
This

>>22115076
Anybody else imagine our race as a squid form of the cast of Jersey Shore?
Also I still want some little douches running around plus we get a bonus I think

>>22115100
>>22115093
>>22115085
The bird fucking will be a separate action... however since it's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT MAGIC you get a minus to trying to create babies. Sure you can fuck them, won't help you out any though.

Anyway, roll me a d100

Rolled 71

Roll!

>>22115124
THANK YOU GOD

Rolled 8

>>22115115
B-but.. Flying octopus masterrace!

Rolled 91

Blah

>>22115130
You're welcome!

>>22115124
Oh great Cthulhu did we just make bird octo demon spawn?

File: 1355914637817.jpg-(107 KB, 610x401, guido-duck-face.jpg)

This is us by the way, hope you guys are pleased with our life choices. -_-

>>22115124
71+15 = 86

"TENTACLE GONE WILD 2" is held on the shore of the beach, but this time instead of just having a party the drouchid rolls out copious amounts of fish liquor (that's right, you people ferment fish) and gets everyone drunk off their asses and into a big orgy pile in the water. No one is quite sure what happens after this but suffice to say many squelching noises and copious amounts of fish guts were used. At the end of the day a lot of eggs were laid, close to 200... most will not reach maturity, but surely some will fill the ranks.

~those that survive will reach maturity and be able to work in 3 turns~

>>22115160
Flying spaghets monster inc

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 14 (200 eggs)
12 giant dick wad birds
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115167
>>22115172

Next strategy.
Bird-tentacle hybrid
With magics help or whatever

>>22115172
Coral citadel

First, improve magic - Impregnate birds

Then, we'll impregnate them on the next turn!

>>22115183
Fine
Get magic to impregnate birds

>>22115176
First let's sweeten them up a little
Time to pimp our birds with shell armor and slingshot weapons

>>22115180
This, with particular attention paid to protecting the eggs.

>>22115186
>>22115183
>>22115176
Time to develop bird impregnating magic.

Roll me a fuckin' d100

Rolled 58

This better be a good one

Rolled 26

Prego

Can I get in on this? Sounds awesome!

>>22115199
Drouchid "Bro" will love this shit

>>22115201
Your drouchid goes to commune with nature, being his being true peace and become one with the world around him to gain true understanding... enlightenment. Ok... basically he heads into the forest and starts grinding up on the first thing he sees, which happens to be a tree, then another tree, then a rock, and finally after grinding like know tentacle beast had grinded before heads up to the birds. While a bunch of grinding was done that day no real work was accomplished, the birds seem happy enough though.

~gained minor druidism, Calm Animal, also +15 to subsequent hybrid spell creation attempts~

>>22115208
It's a sick pile of depravity no man should be forced to see.

===========

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 14 (77 hatchlings)
12 giant dick wad birds
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115227
More impregnating magic research
Also once again my sides

Hybrid babies ahoy

Rolled 81

>>22115246
Second this. We will have our Flying Spaghetti Monster Tentacle Masterrace.

>>22115257
Why do I always waste my good rolls?

>>22115257
>>22115251
>>22115246
Roll me a mother fucking d100 good friends.

>>22115240
Time to flip the drouchid the bird, or for him to flip the bird or oh fuck the jokes we're having a tentacle monster fuck a giant bird we're all very sick people

Rolled 5

>>22115266
4th roll cant suck

>>22115273
Why? WHY????

>>22115273
hahahahahaha
What was that you said?

>>22115273
God Fucking damn it I'm done rolling

in before mutant bird stds

>>22115273
And great Cthulhu did stir and bitch slap the idea out of our heads.
IA! IA! IA!

>>22115273
5+15.... well.. fuck... at least you're not dead right?

The drouchid heads up once more to the bird's outcropping, this time wearing nothing but a spedo (bulging with tentacles!) and OH MOTHER FUCKER WHAT'S WHAT?! It seems that this wasn't the only birds next out there. before the drouchid can do anything a second set of birds swoops down and gets into combat with yours. There is this awesome fucking aerial bird battle that would take three 1-hour made for tv specials or maybe a movie to do justice... theres missiles and shit, and even aliens get involved.

Anyway though, they fight back the assault, but four douche-birds lay dead in the ocean. Sucks to be a bird.

~no gain, but +30 to your next attempt...~

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 14 (77 hatchlings)
8 giant dick wad birds
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115322
God damn it bird hybrids. Lets get it going

>>22115331
This

>>22115331
>>22115343
....I think I know where this is going. Lets fuck these birds already.

roll me a d100

NOW!

>>22115331
Hybrids now.

Rolled 86

God I'm a retard.

Rolled 41

Roll

>>22115364
Still nailed it!

>>22115240
C. Needs more architecture.

86+30... We have created gods.

>>22115364
86 with the +30 we fucked those birds hard.
Also it's been 3 turns our new young hatch to that sight and are scarred for life

>>22115364
86+30=116

HOLY FUCKING TENTACLE SHIT SON. The drouchid has a flash on inspiration, what he has been doing so far as been meant to work on other tentacle monsters, but if he is to do the impossible, to fuck the birds he must change his gain. Not only does Bro need to walk the walk, he must squawk the squawk. After making himself an enormous feathered headdress he heads back up to the mountain top, and this time, upon seeing his HUGE plumage, some fine bird bitches come over to "sample his yolk". Anyway, late into the night squawks can be heard from the mountaintop, and none of the folks in the village want to to think about what's going on up there.

~Powerful Druidism Gained (animal hybrid)~

==========

The hatchlings have finally reached maturity, 21 survive. While this does increase the ranks of the civilization... it also happens to make your food not adequate. MOTHER FUCKERS YOU IS GONNA NEED MORE FOOD.

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 31
8 giant dick wad birds (21 hybrid eggs, 18 normal eggs... will mature in 4 turns)
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Giant Shells
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115430
I say we extend the range of our fisheries

First a coral citadel to be the base of our operations.

>>22115422
>Squawk the squawk
My sides!

>>22115440
We still have 4 turns for this

I vote for protection or weapons.

We are going to need another farm, this one in the form of a great seaweed forest!

>>22115448
Coral citadel and rookery home for the hybrid mutants and choice fine pieces of bird ass

Captcha Lord Forcenta (I decree this the name of the first mutant)

coral citidel

Citadel it is then

>>22115464
>>22115448
Agreed, coral citadel.

>>22115464
>>22115463
>>22115448

Ok, coral citadel....

someone roll me a d100

Rolled 61

Roll

Rolled 75

Ahoy

>>22115483
THe tentacle beasts begin a true undertaking, something that will last for the ages. From the depths of the lagoon they begin to grow the coral upwards, stacking it to create walls and buildings. In time a castle takes form, but they realize something along the way. CASTLES ARE REALLY FUCKING HUGE. Barely a quarter of it is done... however on the bright side no one died terribly.

~unfinished castle +15 to next attempt~

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 31
8 giant dick wad birds (21 hybrid eggs, 18 normal eggs... will mature in 3 turns)
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Coral Buildings
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal, Calm Animal, Animal Hybrid)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115512
more castle

>>22115512
Finish it up

Rolled 59

>>22115512
Let's do this again. But I'll roll 98, so we'll finish it in one turn :)

>>22115512
Seaweed farm so nobody starves well building?

Captcha Benjamites Urporl (another great mutant name)

>>22115535
>>22115527
>>22115525
More building ya fucks! roll me a d100

also the archive for the first thread is up. Go vote on it or some shit! FUCK!! >>22111596

Rolled 76

Rolling 98 for greater justice

Rolled 35

Build get

>>22115561
76+15 = 91... Close enough!

>>22115561
The tentacle beasts come together for a great meeting of the minds, truly the best and brightest among them drawing upon all their res---

> Hey, Tentaja, how you coin'
> Eye girl! I coin good, you know Duatacle
> Oh yeah he fine, I want a piece of that calamari.
> Yeah, but I be building dis castle so much I can't be around to do the horizontal monster mash with 'em
> Eye I got an idea
> What?
> How about instead of us breaking a...nail (fuck they are tentacle monsters... the fuck to they paint... skin? fuck. FUCK! FUUUUUUCK!!) how 'bout we just grow it.
> Awe yeah, that's the best idea I heard since that squawkin'.

Anyway they start growing the citadel, and it is finished quickly enough. This great castle is christened with a name that will last through the ages Jur'sai.

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 31
8 giant dick wad birds (21 hybrid hatchlings, 18 bird hatchlings... will mature in 2 turns)
Food: Stable (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Coral Castle, Shell Buildings
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal, Calm Animal, Animal Hybrid)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

Let's get us some more food!

>>22115614
its time to create slingshot technology

>>22115555
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Also here is a correct link to the archive for everyone. Just go there and vote, OR I WILL RAPE YOUR EXISTENCE. Or not, I don't care.

Rolled 66

>>22115614
Expand the farms

>>22115614
Seaweed farm of just a weed farm but then we'll need even more food hahaha I love the Jur'sai part

>>22115644
>>22115631
>>22115627
Looks like we're taking up farming.

Someone roll me a mother fucking d100.

(I am beginning to grow weary... I am unsure of how long I can keep this up)

Rolled 12

>>22115683

roll

>>22115693
Of you fucked son.

The tentacle beasts venture out from their home into the ocean in search of seaweed to farm. As they leave the drouchid lets out a mighty battle cry, his bass tones shaking the very earth itself "420 blaze!!!". The party heads out to the ocean in search of their weed. Unfortunately THAT ASSHOLE SHARK is still out in the water and swims up. Turns out he likes calamari and fucking hates tentacle monsters. Before you can gather any weed he manages to eat six of you, they were delicious, and he seems hungry for more. The people have given this shark a name, which in their ancient tongue means "the ravenous hunger" it is called Snooki.

A. Scavenge for food.
B. Explore
C. Try to improve settlement.
D. Try to improve magic
E. Try to improve technology.
F. Other

Population: 25
8 giant dick wad birds (21 hybrid hatchlings, 18 bird hatchlings... will mature in 1 turns)
Food: Poor (A fish farm, egg farming)
Architecture: Coral Castle, Shell Buildings
Religion: None
Weapons&Armor: Shitty Shell Tipped Spears, Douchebag Spiky Coral Armor
Magic: Powerful Druidism (Tame Animal, Calm Animal, Animal Hybrid)
Tech: None
Defenses: None.

>>22115693
aw, fuck. Did we rape the fish to death or something?

We should split our civilization in two.

Let's take 4 birds with 4 octopuses (both male and female) give them some food and let them repopulate at another side of the world!

>>22115733
improve fish farms

>>22115760
*yawn*

I think I'm done for the night guys. I'm not up to making new turns. I think I'll just archive this, so... how do you all like the civ thread? (I will be making more late night civs at some point. I'm free late on tuesdays and thursdays... sunday Wednesday and friday i sun Company Civ... so can't do both in one day... but how about late thursday evening for this?)

>>22115811
Sounds good. Sleep tight, bro!

>>22115811
Would someone mind archiving this on suptg for me?

I can't archive two things in one hour so. This is the name and tags and such

Name: Late Night Hard Mode Civ 2
Description: The tentacle monsters develop powerful magic, through the correct application of douchebaggery. Turns out if you act like jersey shore, you make a good civilization.
Tags: Collective Game, Late, Night, Hard, Mode, Slimes, Tentacles, Civ, Refrek Spine Snapper

Thanks a million to whoever does it.

>>22115846
Done

>>22115889
thanks, now I must sleep.