>>20762850
Has the grimderp been toned down, or are people still at it?

>>20762859
Toned down quite a bit. Only Harbringer really does grimdark, the rest try to tone it down, and I'm writing about festivals and funnelcakes to cancel out whatever's left.

>>20762923
Can I have a corn dog? The State Fair is in town, and the one I got was substandard. All I wanted was a good corn dog...

File: 1347923199506.jpg-(410 KB, 1655x1275, funnelcake.jpg)

>>20763003
In the magical realm of Teegee, there are only delicious snack foods my friend.

>>20763081

And females of all kinds just waiting to find love.

And plenty of dosh and next to none dakka.

>>20763081
I want one so bad.

>>20763003
>corn dog
Ah, there was your problem. You should've gotten the roasted corn. Bonus points if they had lemon pepper available.

Derailed in three posts.
Is that a record?

File: 1347923774959.jpg-(132 KB, 640x480, Wait, what?.jpg)

>>20763081
THANK YOU SIR ALARIC! YOU SHALL HAVE MY LOYALTY FOR ETERNITY!
>>20763148
Dosh good, Dakka levels bad. Surely there's got to be someone with a Mosin or SKS that we can reverse engineer. Pic related: Bad engineering practices.

>>20763171
>Not getting the krispy cream chicken sandwich
>2012

>>scotsbunnies


whoa wait a minute what's all this

>>20763171
I also need to learn to stay away from their curly fries. They make a whole potato's worth, but they're too floppy and they don't let the frying oil drip off enough.

Sorry for the irrelevant stuff, I've been struck with a Fey mood.

>>20763199
At least the barrel is pointing the correct way.

>>20763219
Scottish bunny girls. What else could it mean?

>>20763219
The Scottish war bunnygirls called the Cottentails I think it was. Fierce warrior race who play the bagpipes and eats haggish

Anyway, we were talking about gnolls a minute ago.

So, outright-evil shamanistic race, uses wind magic and bladed boomerangs made of gnoll bone, live in dry, flat wastlands. What else?

File: 1347924266497.jpg-(310 KB, 1600x900, 1332983687834.jpg)

"Alaric, get your lazy ass up!" I awoke with a stir, still groggy from the night before. Rolling off my bed, I hit the ground with a noisy clatter.
"Armor." I muttered, having forgotten to take it off.
"Don't kill yourself with the floor, you're still in a tournament! What kind of knight just sleeps in and keeps everyone waiting?" Sera teased as the front door slammed shut.
"Yeah, you just go ahead." I yawned. The house was silent.

The town wasn't quite as fresh looking as yesterday, but there was still a lively chatter hanging in the air. Still, I was by myself for a few hours before my game arrived. Grabbing a quick breakfast of circus food, I began to wander the town. A lot of land had been cleared for our town, and the inner city looked rather urban, with large houses and buildings, though the fairgrounds lined one edge of town, giving a nice view of the forest, along with large wooden stadiums, booths aplenty, and colorful flags scattered about.

>>20763278
So they use weapons made out of them selves. Can't see Harbinger going grimderp with this at all. Nope not at all.

>>20763313
They're also canabilistic and "truely evil", acourding to red white and britfag.
Dis gon be gud

If you gents would allow it I would like to write my own tale in this land of magic and monstergirls.

File: 1347924826723.jpg-(71 KB, 400x538, The cutest hellspawn 1.jpg)

>>20763278
>>20763313
>>20763365

But aren't gnolls supposed to be modeled after hyenas, like this cute little thing?

File: 1347924859328.jpg-(62 KB, 500x375, The cutest hellspawn 2.jpg)

>>20763413

And this one.

File: 1347924891093.jpg-(104 KB, 470x319, The cutest hellspawn 3.jpg)

>>20763420

And this one too.

>>20763413
>cute
>filename
I think that answer's itself

File: 1347924923915.jpg-(158 KB, 900x572, The cutest hellspawn 4.jpg)

>>20763427

And don't forget this one.

>>20763411
Go ahead always room for another knight.

>>20763430

Succubi come from hell too. Doesn't stop them from being cute, sexy, or both.

>>20763450
Amen brother, speaking of which GearHeart needs to go back to hell soon so we can have more fun in Hell.

So, for some reason the archive of the last thread is missing a bunch of posts. Do they update themselves or what?
>shameful newfaggitry

>>20763433
When did I say anything about me being a knight, my good man?

>>20763476

It's every two hours if I remember correctly.

And I need to write something about a wandering dragon, her fox girl companion, and their pet fox.
I think foxes are one of the cutest things ever.

>>20763481
Always more room for a tale of any one then. Rather you be knight or monster. Scientist or politician. So yeah go ahead, for know I am curious to hear your tale.

>>20763508
BIGBOY BLUE?!?!!!!!!!

>>20763519
Do I even want to know who that is?

I said this at the end of the last thread, but I don't think anybody saw it. Thus, I'll repost it here.

----

I figured out how to share a Google Docs folder, so if anyone wants to take a look and/or comment on what I've done so far, feel free.

https://docs.google.com/folder/d/0B9QzTlP9O8p9NC1WcW5fVmtITXM/edit

Also, I'm hijacking a name that was used in one of the early threads. If the original author wants to take it back, just say so and I'll use another name.

>>20763219
Straight from the horse's mouth here:

The Scottsbunnies are called Coininoch, the Cottentail are a tribe of them. Essentially? Scottish rabbit-people who rate about an 11 on the 10-point scale of asskicking.

>>20763508
Bona is that you?

>>20763159
Funnel cake is pretty easy to make if you have the proper equipment. It's basically fried batter.

Really, anything is good fried. Especially Twinkies. Yum.

>>20763544
The answer is god no. If you value you sanity or faith in humanity never dare look it up.

>>20763565
I shall revel in my blissful ignorance then.

>>20763549
Possibly, depends on who this 'Bona' is.

File: 1347925961046.jpg-(406 KB, 664x900, 37.jpg)

Boy I was here for the second thread but I missed the other ones, look like I missed quite the party

>>20763560
I had a recipe for it somewhere, occasionally me and my friend make them. It is really easy to make; you're essentially frying pancake batter in oil.

>>20763607
>Implying slowing down
>Not implying that things are just at a lowpoint as people work on stories.
>Implying I spam the thread alot.
2 of these are true

>>20763623

That sounds so much better than it has any right to be.

>>20763565
I'll take your word for it, though I do value for the lack of the former quality. Now if you excuse me, I have a merchant story to write up.

>>20763635
Dude, have you ever eaten a funnelcake? They're delicious; nothing tastes like fried dough. Also, be sure to sprinkle powdered sugar on top when you're done, because fuck arteries.

>>20763675

I have, and it one of the greatest things ever, but its humble origins belay its greatness.

>>20763278
Actually, even less than that. Gnolls as I had initially written of them are no more intelligent than dolphins. They're capable of simple tool use and socializing, but they're without language, without capacity to learn one, and utterly savage. They used to roam the southern grasslands where Orks stay, but the Orks' greater intelligence and organization drove them out. The wastes are dangerous because Gnoll are fiercely territorial and will attack anything it sees as a threat, so basically, anything humanoid. The land's not worth much anyway, so no one's bothered to brave those wastes.

Still, some might say it's the perfect place to be if you don't want to be found.

But all in all, the Gnolls aren't evil because they're uncivilized and savage, they're evil because they're incapable of civilization or anything other than their instinctual savagery. And don't anyone try to make one your waifu, that's actual bestiality.

>>20763763

So they aren't evil, they're just humanoid animals.

File: 1347927060240.png-(146 KB, 593x572, 1329498988498.png)

>>20763300
The search continued. Surely there was something stupid or hilarious enough to pass the time.
No snow for shield sledding.
Sword juggling is right out.
And I was still a little scared of shovels after that one incident.

Then, it caught my eye. Another test of agility and speed, and baby, I gotta go fast.
The wonderful directors had set up a large obstacle course, with nets, ledges, and swings. Surely, only the bravest and most agile of rogues could attempt to beat such a course. I decided to have a go.

The crier gave a whoop as he called over a crowd to see the eight or so contestants, ready to race to the end. I looked around, none of these men were wearing armor like I, so it was time to even the playing field. I removed my gear quickly, stripping down to my breeches, and wrapping a cloth around my forehead like a bandanna, in order to emulate one of the greatest Outrealm heroes, Solid Snake.

Pasty flesh exposed, I struck an exaggerated luchador pose for the crowd.

"My body is ready."

>>20763700

That should be 'belie', not 'belay'. My English sucks, and I have no 'second language' excuse to fall back on.

>>20763763
Well, red white and britfag is writing them as intelligent (in a very loose sense), I think. I don't really see a point in having a race of non-sapient humanoids. Why use gnolls for that role rather then, say, the low variety of orc?

>>20763964
What this anon said. Sorry to step on toes, but I wasn't aware the Gnolls had been fleshed out at all.

If writing them as (loosely-speaking) intelligent contradicts existing canon, I'll change it, but I'm on anon here's side

File: 1347928421704.jpg-(44 KB, 473x562, 1334063199404.jpg)

>>20763199
In all seriousness we have rudimentary black powder guns, but it's reserved for emergencies only, due to the scarcity of sulfur.

>>20764008
They have yet to be mentioned in any story I have seen.

>>20763964
>>20764008
Because Nurse Verity, that's why. They're an interesting foil to the Orcs and Orks and an indicator that there are things "Not even the brave and pervy Knights of TeeGee can tame".

>>20764090
They were mentioned in resources as the mindless inhabitants of the Knoll Wastes.

>>20764119
I like to think of resources as more of a guide than hard fact. But yes thank you for refreshing my memory, but my point still stands. Story.

>>20764119
There are plenty of things that could be used as an example of what we can't tame. I just don't see why we should waste a potential sapient race on it. I mean, as you're describing them, they're practicly just animals. If so, why would the area in which they live be marked on the map as "the knoll wastes" rather then just "the wastes".
I just feel like we're wasting an opportunity here.

>>20764227
It should be because, as lawless and chaotic as they are, Gnolls still rule the wastes, for one reason or another. Sure, they're unorganized, cannibalistic, and feral, but they're prevalent and raider groups are among the most dangerous things there.

Right next to Sphinxes and Scorpio-girls.

>>20764169
Very well. Forgive my staunchness on the topic, I just tend to be a bit wary of the doors Gnolls may or may not open. It's tempting to think that I should never have placed them there at all.

If it suits you better, and as >>20763964 suggested, perhaps replacing "Gnoll" with Low Orc would be better? It was foolish of me to put Gnolls into the universe in the first place, but I had no idea of how far this thing would grow.

>>20764260
Theres a difference between chaotic and stupid and mindless.

Let's put this whole issue on the back burner untill red white and britfag finishes his story on the subject.

>>20764275
I have no real opinion either way just playing the devils advocate. I think what ever the general concision is should be the accepted canon. As such I was just trying to get out all facts and views so that people may better chose. But I will say I like the idea of an always evil raider group and I am not particular on what they are called,

All this talk makes me want to recite the story of the first time I had funnel cake. Anyone interested?

>>20763544
Well, that depends. How do you feel about Luke, Plagueson of Nurgle?

File: 1347930100744.png-(170 KB, 414x624, 1274460032967.png)

>>20764301
I'm okay with this. Also, I need to finish this fucking adorable drama story. The way I have it now seems either too wanky or too emo, but it should be an honest dialog...

WAIT, AWESOME IDEA.

>>20764364
All my dialog comes out that way makes me sad.

>>20764332
Might as well go for. What do you have to lose?

Someone remind me what the people who came through the portal are called.

File: 1347930423672.jpg-(19 KB, 500x280, nope.jpg)

>>20764353

>>20764353
The name Luke reminds me of a moron that put sphess khommunists with halo armor into a fantasy so he could shoot everything.... So, a whole lot of anger.

>>20764423
Outrelmers

>>20764431
Its about a thousand times worse than that. And bigboy blue is even worse.

>>20764437

Thank 'ye kindly.

>>20764447

Can we please put this Bigboy Blue thing behind us before someone blinds me with stories of the most unspeakable horrors?

>>20764447
The mattress... the FLIES
I can feel them in my soul! I AM UNCLEAN!
BRING ME OIL AND WOOD! I MUST BE MADE PURE!

>>20764473
>>20764477
I apologize to every one for bringing it up and from here forth shall not mention it again.

>>20764078
I know that, I'm just saying we can do better than black powder. We've built generators, building a bolt action rifle is comparatively simple (though a completely unrelated field). Semi-auto is pretty complex though (still unrelated field).

>>20764539

One story contains a break-action rifle, which uses cartridges.

>>20764570
Excellent. Sir Dustin! Would you be so kind as to send some Blades to see their manufacturing processes, and possibly destroy their workshops afterwards?

>>20764539
From what I understand, we haven't been able to develop modern cartridge technologies just yet. Something about the metallurgy of the primers. Break-action rifles existed before proper shell cartridges, so that's no special technology.

>>20764502
Good Idea. Would you mind if I borrowed Lilly for what I'm working on?

>>20764539
How about lightbulbs, ones that work anyway? Ones that work anyway?

>>20764570
I am considering giving sir gearheart a magic tround hand gun in the future

>>20764608
Go a head.

File: 1347931421131.jpg-(161 KB, 1280x1024, German Armor.jpg)

>>20763801
With a shout, we ran. Jumping over small gaps, climbing ropes, and sprinting, it was a fierce race. Then, I was in the zone, my feet dancing across the wood as I leaped and dashed past obstacles.

The thing about pretending to know parkour, however, is that you get in the zone and think you really can parkour. Then you find yourself slipping off a net ladder, everything in slow motion until you hit the ground with a solid thud.

I finished fifth. The winner received a very decorative knife.

Rubbing my head, I put my armor back on. Getting hit in the head was fun, but it was time for me to go get hit in the head again.

>>20764620
I recall reading in another thread that we built a simple hydroelectric generator to power phones and such, but lightbulbs were still a work in progress.
We did get plumbing installed, though.

>>20764620

A basic vacuum light bulb using a carbon filament, while rather sad compared to modern light bulbs, do give off some light and can last for ridiculously long periods of time. Don't expect them to be much use for anything other than replacing candles though.

>>20764620
Shouldn't be too difficult if we can get the proper inert gasses (unlikely), but glass manufacturing, mass producing filaments, and the vacuum bulb alternative to gas-filled bulbs would make them pretty rare and expensive. Overall impractical.

>>20764603
It was a hand-made one-off, like most firearms produced. It's of no threat.

>>20764665

I had assumed the rifle to be of dwarven make, considering how it was purchased from one of the traders of the current world.

>>20764695
Stolen, actualy.

>>20764603
>>20764665
>>20764608

While I know we've been able to produce a number of muzzle-loading muskets (Or have we been able to make rifles of that size?), I also thought we had a few more specialty pieces.

I myself own a matched pair of trap-door pistol and carbine. I figured that while probably a bitch and a half to make, we could produce small quantities of percussion caps, these could then be worked into large bore brass cartridges. The real limiting factor in mass producing them however is not in making the caps themselves, but firearms that use them.

>>20764742
Just throwing an idea out why not have magic percussion caps. A simple enchanted piece of metal that goes boom when struck. I get that it would be more complicated than that but we have enough wizards to make it work.

>>20764789
...
You know, I'm supprised we didn't think of that sooner.

I'd still prefer we don't start running around with semi-automatic weapons, though. Poliferation would be an issue, and it doesn't really fit the setting.

>>20764789
The problem with that is that it's too much of an easy out, and open up the way for everyone to spam it. Then the next thing you know everyone at their brother has mage rifles, which leads to even more bullshit.

>>20764830

Making the magic percussion caps/primers doesn't have to be easy. It could something extremely difficult to do correctly, most coming out as duds or far to sensitive to safely used.

>>20764405
Sure. Now, some context is needed. I was at Disneyland with some friends. I had never had funnel cake before, and one of said friends was determined to change that. Some time in the afternoon, we hunted down a stall that sold the stuff. I've never been one to take things halfway, so I got one with fudge and chocolate. The good stuff.

Now, for a bit more context. That morning, I had IHOP for breakfast. For lunch, I had a pizza slice. One of those really big fucking slices they have in Tomorrowland that can actually fill you up. And here I was, trying to down a monster of a funnel cake. It wasn't until I got about two-thirds of the way through when I realized that I might not be able to finish the beast. I ended up throwing the last bit of it into a trash can, defeated.

But our day was far from over. We were in the area, so we decided to see if the line for that Indiana Jones ride had died down. It had, and we got on it. The ride in question is half roller coaster, half set piece. The cars are dressed up to look like Jeeps, and the ride was appropriately rickety.

Mind, I got on about ten minutes after I admitted defeat to the funnel cake.

When the ride was over, my stomach had settled. Apparently I'd misjudged my gut's strength.

>>20764830
Well what do you think about magic grenades cause in the story I am writing GearHeart uses one. I figured it was a fireball trapped in a glass container.
>>20764819
I think of a lot of things like that, I don't mention most of them as they tend to run over everything as >>20764830 points out.

File: 1347932877784.jpg-(125 KB, 490x700, waifu demon.jpg)

>go to school
>come back
>people using my vorpal bunny girl idea
What what do you think of that? Mr. Pajama-wearing, basket-faced, slipper-wielding, clide three backle, gethera blaten ma blitherin gomrel, dressy old-looking shtoner, Niff Plookisan Milk-drinking, soy-face shopiff leemoot, Slithering worm-eyed hooten blauk, vile stoogen calibreek tatty

also, in case the red and white britfag still needs a waifu, i know one of our men has a succubus, but there are other demon's you can bed, pic related

>>20764848
Oversensitivity works as a way to limit their use, while also allowing form some uses. Let's go with that.

>>20764858
Yeah the way I think is the reason I am always the Dm and never a player. I always rape every thing with my plans/ideas

>>20764848
That's still a slippery slope. The principal can still be applied and now suddenly be have landmines and cannons to akin to Goblin-tech from WoW, dangerous almost as much to us as others. Sure our people have problem toyed around with it, but it's not a viable option for anything other than use in very controlled situations, maybe for like fireworks or something.

>>20764819
Semi-automatic weapons would be impractical as black-powder is much dirtier. Best we would get are hand-cranked machine guns and manual-action repeaters. Proliferation also wouldn't be a problem as we could keep the tech under lock and key and only hand it out to specific individuals.

>>20764789
While a possibility, it would mean a wizard would have to go through all the rituals to enchant. A single. Little. Piece of metal. And all the components that would have to go into enchanting each cap. Sure, you could get a few dozen primers in a month, but good luck paying for all that.

>>20764858
Sounds like an Alchemy sort of thing, but those things would be quite expensive and difficult to get.

File: 1347933078500.jpg-(65 KB, 425x450, 62242142356.jpg)

>>20764862

>>20764902
Well of course we've got to have fireworks. How are going to have romantic holiday hookups without fireworks?

>>20764906
No see the primers are a permanent fixture of the gun.

>>20764953
Primers are one-time-use only. If they're used more than once, they're going to get corroded and destroyed by the gunpowder, making their effective life very short, and thus unreliable.

And before you say "It's magic!" that's just the problem. Handwaving everything saying a "Wizard did it" is something of a cop-out when it solves all our problems for us, much solutions that have no problem in the first place.

quick question
is sir gary an outrealmer or a new world native?

>>20765092
Outrealmer. It more or less says so in his intro from last thread.

>>20765092
>>20765123
Do I detect another Gary post? Those tend to be pretty neat.

You know, all this talk of guns got me thinking. Yes primer and cartridges and repeaters are all quite difficult to make, but you know what isn't? Cannons. Yea sure it'll take some work before you can figure out the right alloying ratios and cooling techniques so that they aren't too brittle, but they are in effect big metal tubes with a big hole at one end and a tiny one at the other. We could easily turn out a number of small cannon, such as Falconets or 3 pounders. a dozen guns loaded with grape or canister shot stationed on our walls would be fucking terrifying for any attacking force. The main limiting factor would be the amount of powder they take to fire, and would probably spend most of their time in storage, but after the Ork invasion, I can see it becoming our, "nuclear option" if you will.

File: 1347935140494.png-(25 KB, 350x387, steamgun.png)

>>20765205
da Vinci had designs for a steam powered cannon, i'd upload a better pic but it's too big, just google image search steam cannon

>>20764665
Inert gases you say? I'd be willing to bet that there's at least one person in the Natural Gas industry in Teegee, and that's where we got most of our Helium. Let's hire him!

>>20764789
Amazing. I keep thinking in terms of our physics only, when there's a way to make near anything possible. Your name isn't Parson by any chance?

>>20765205
Yes, Cannons are Canon (though machine puns are more desirable, these are fine as well). Only thing is I don't think we parade them out for all to see unless we're preparing for siege. They're our last resort, the "big guns" so to speak, both literally and figuratively.

>>20765259
I'm pretty sure the Gnomes have those.

>>20765301
Still impractical and expensive. Glasses that hold magelight enchantments would not only be easier and cheaper, but they'd effectively be permanent, at least as long as they don't break.

File: 1347935706449.jpg-(170 KB, 633x950, 1333505982959.jpg)

>>20764640
Seeing the crowd cheer gives you a good feeling. The glory, the attention, it's addicting.

And the feel of the lance in your hand, the thundering of hooves, the crazed feel as you face down another man eye to eye with a big pointy stick.

I don't think there is anything quite as exhilarating as being knocked from your horse, protected from death by thick plates of metal. I lied there in the mud for almost a minute, from concussion or a high I do not know. Nonetheless, I'd been defeated gracefully by my opponent.

Maybe next year. There was always the other competition as well, yet I still exited the arena a bit sullen. I could have done better, and made a mental note of what to try differently next time.

"You know, most knights here are competing to impress a girl."

>>20765259
Yes but a steam cannon is not only larger and more complex, but offers even more danger to the gunners, not to mention it's no where near as effective as a black powder cannon. The Mythbusteres tried to build one based on da Vinci's design without much success.

>>20765384

They built some sort of steam operation machine gun too. I remember it being oddly effective.

File: 1347936606815.jpg-(904 KB, 550x372, out.bretheren-before-wenches.jpg)

Just curious, everyone has the 4chan Sounds script, right? I'm kinda loathe to post youtube links when I wanna do stuff like that. [Pic Related] I really need to rerecord this when I'm not buzzed to shit. Maybe in parts?

For those without:
Script: http://ms11.github.com/4chanSoundPlayer/
ogg embedder/ripper: http://sourceforge.net/projects/oggchan/

>>20765539
Will I be the odd one out by not knowing what they are for?

>>20765585
You wont, I've got no bloody clue what they are or how to use them. And after all the shit I had to go though the last time I tried to add a fancy extension to Firefox, I don't think I'm even going to try.

Well I hit writer's block for the grimdark, I'm gonna try something a little more lighthearted.

>>20765539

I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about.

Anyway... I'm going to start posting a tale About a wandering dragon, and her first day in TeeGee.
I have no real experience with this sort of thing, so bear with me here.

>>20765647

I heard many tales of this new country known as TeeGee during my recent travels. Most humans portrayed it in a negative light; calling it a place of evil where humans and animals fraternize, and saying that they regularly raid the outskirts of the local duchies, kidnapping women and burning villages. The non-human races all told me that it’s a wonderful place of peace, love and acceptance, where all can find a place for themselves and love they have been searching for. The elves, as always, refused to talk to me about anything. The aristocracy seemed to grow angry when I mentioned TeeGee though, most reaction I’ve ever gotten out of them.

>>20765658

Knowing that the Felim are one of the more trustworthy races I’ve dealt with, and how they praised the ‘Outrealmers’, I ventured to TeeGee with my companion Belle and our pet fox Ruby.

I was shocked at the number of people who gave us a friendly wave as we passed through the fields on the outskirts of the city. I had become so accustomed to people being terrified or disgusted by my chosen form, and them treating Belle as an animal no better than Ruby. I was already beginning to fall in love with TeeGee, a place where the locals accepted us.

File: 1347937236059.jpg-(1.21 MB, 280x187, 1347936654038.jpg)

>>20765585
Basically, you can post an image with a music file embedded into it and then a small script based player will pop up and play the track for you when you click a word or phrase in [brackets].

I think it would do well to enhance some specific moments with mood music, like a climactic battle or moment of feels. Not to be abused of course, but it might make something more awesome if used carefully.

>>20765664

Standing outside the doors of the inn we had decided to stay at, I turned and asked Belle, “How many do you think I’ll frighten out of this inn?”
“Unless someone from Mirthterrah is also staying here, no one. Everyone we’ve passed has been nice to us; some of the younger men have been looking us over. I’m surprised no one has tried to hit on us yet,” she grabs my arm and blushes slightly as she says this.
“Afraid that someone will try to steal me away from you, Kit?”
“I told you to stop calling me that! I’m not a child Kuro!”
“You are according to the way dragons measure time. And it’s fun to tease you like this.”
“Let’s just go inside before people start staring at us…”

>>20765539
That was beautiful

>>20765678

Once inside, the innkeeper called out to us. “A dragon and fox girl, quite an odd pair. Do you two happen to be anyone’s waifus?”
“Waifu? What’s that?” I and Belle replied in unison.
“You don’t know what a waifu is? You two must be new here then. What brings you?”
“I’ve been searching for a place to settle down where I don’t scare off the all the locals and then get soldiers chasing me down. TeeGee seemed to be the perfect place from what I heard, and it looks like I was right.”
“This place has everything you’re looking for then, you may have to fend off your fair share of suitors though.” He begins addressing Belle, “How about you, little girl, what brings you here? And is that cute thing you’re carrying a fox?”
“Oh? Um… Me? I’m just following Kuro. And Ruby is a fox, our cute little fox.” Belle looks down and holds Ruby a little tighter.
“I think I get it now. The knights are going to have their work cut out if they want to catch you two. So that’ll be a single room then.” He winks at us as I hand him the coins for the room.
I place my arm around Belle’s shoulder as turns a bright red and attempts to bury herself in my side.

>>20765688

Walking up the stairs to our room, I whisper into her ear, “I think I like this place. What do you think about staying here Belle?”
She nods replies with a meek, “Yes.”

>>20765695

And that's all I have for now. May add more later.

>>20765674

Sounds interesting, but there's a little problem with unknown file types.

>>20765732
ogg is an open source sound container not unlike mp3 and the converter converts to ogg for you anyway. They have regular sound threads on /a/ (only consistently decent thing on that board) and that's just the info they post at the start of the thread.

>>20765539
Ah, the drinking song.

And do you happen to have a name for the music embedded in >>20765674

>>20765821
Air on the G String. It's a famous Bach piece.

>>20765802

I couldn't get the script thing to work for me. Didn't recognize the installation file type.

And now I want a way to change .ogg to .mp3.

Perhaps I made a mistake. The Fey sisters Aixys and Ayxis, though adjusting to their new lives, are not quit adjusting that well. One concept that just never seems to get through to them is proper clothing. They never wear anything unless I explicitly tell them to. Even then by the end of the day, they are off again, streaking through the castle leaving shocked waifus, surprised knights, and aroused apprentices. Even then their concept of ‘clothing’ just doesn’t match what I tell them. I tell them that they need to cover their bosoms and their nethers, but all they do is raid my clinic, take some adhesives, and tape them over the ‘naughtiest bits’ in each region. Everything else is still bare. On top of all that, Aryana always berates me for it. I know it’s her love coming out in her own bizarre way, and that she merely wants to keep our children(birthed and adopted) from getting the wrong views on etiquette, but it is getting rather tiring the way I am always the brunt of her wrath. I remember the first day, chasing after the two when they heard of Festival Day. How do I know where they were? Following the angry waifus of course.

File: 1347938564345.jpg-(50 KB, 720x480, Sallet front view.jpg)

>>20765378
"Oh, hey ther-"
"You didn't even get past the first match, Al" Serenity gave off an air of disappointment.
"I was just, ah, conserving my energy! Besides, fencing is more popular; I've got a shot there"
"But you still lost."
"....you sound like me scolding my brothers, Sera." I commented.
"But enough with this snark-fest! This gives me an extra hour to kill." I stated.
"You're about to kill yourself the way you take blows. Is your brain even in one piece?" she asked.
"Oh ha. I'm fine, really. This armor's pretty good" I said, stroking my sallet.
"Right, right. So where to, then?"

The first one I ran into was Sir Fearghaile. Perhaps because his quarters are so close to mine. Whatever the case, the twins always run into him first. Oh yes, Festival Day was not the last time they would do this to the man, and I must honestly say, I pity him for what happens afterwards. As always, I find Sir Feaghaile shielding his face from an irate Kikki. The first time it happened I remember asking them.

“Did you see two tall fey pass by here?” Kikki grimaces.

“Of course we did! This pervert couldn’t keep his eyes off them!” she snarled at me.

“I wasn’t staring THAT long!” Feraghaile said in his defense. That just earned another slap from a red faced Kikki.

“Long enough for me! That’s too long!” This was taking me too long.

“I’ll leave you to your lover’s quarrel, but first please tell me where they went. This statement overloaded Kikki and she started sputtering, and if I wasn’t mistaken, I think I could see moisture evaporating off of her. She stopped her assault trying to search for the right words, just long enough for Fearghaile to say “Yes they ran to the courtyard. West hall, you can’t miss them.”

That snapped Kikki out of her embarrassment. “Oh of course you’d know where they were going, you were staring at their tails long enough!” With my information I had no reason to waste time with this conflict. I left, wondering when they would just shut up and screw each other. Oh dear, the Fey magic is really doing something to my mood.

>>20765060
Back from stuff. Implying we need gunpowder when we can use the explosive spell. But yes I get what your saying.

The awkward situation of man looking at Fey breasts, and jealous waifu berating their man for it continued in a steady line. Sir Markus, Sir Korlus, Sir Ragnar, even Sir Artorias. Which is odd, I never imagined his waifus to be so jealous. Perhaps it has something to do with the aura of the Fey. An interesting topic for me to look into…AFTER I found them. I had to remind myself. After. Had to stay on track.

The Festival was supposed to be a grand day, when the people of TeeGee would have fun and celebrate, and the Outrealmers would peddle wares and foods that reminded us of home like funnel cakes and ice cream. With all those people in one place, I avoided it like the plague, but I knew the Sisters were in there somewhere. So I steeled myself and waded into the throng of happy people with laughing children with the painted faces and sticky fingers…

>>20765714

Anyone have any comments? I'd like to know if there's anything I can do to improve.

>>20766006
Seems pretty good so far. Let's see where it goes with your next part before I get any solid opinions, though.

>>20766006
Well, I thought it was cute, but that doesn't really help you much.

>>20766061
That is what I was going for.

>>20766058
Guess I will have to write another part. But that shall be done another day, for I have more pressing obligations to attend to.

>>20765940
http://www.writingclasses.com/InformationPages/index.php/PageID/304 Ten quick tips.

>>20765944
Honestly, Kikki's alot more subtle and biting than that she probably would have turned that into an insult rather than be offended. Musta caught her on a day after heavy drinking or something.

>>20765940
Consider the flow of your dialog indicators and mix it up not only in words, but in positioning and context of the indicators.

This was very odd. Normally the sisters did everything together. They never left each other’s sight. It was practically unheard of that they would go their separate ways. But separate they did. Which only meant more time outside. The first I found was Ayxis. Guess where. No, really; you could guess. If your guess involved her swimming in something she wasn’t supposed to your answer would be very close. I found her splashing around in a vat of ice cream. The peddler didn’t seem to mind too much. In fact he turned into a bit of a show since so men people had surrounded the tank, ogling this elfin cat girl swimming is a thick, white fluid that contrasted sharply to her ebony skin. The moment she shouted “Who wants to lick me clean?”, I grabbed her and pulled her out of the vat. I left many men disappointed that day. But then again, I do that all the time. Ayxis didn’t protest, since she evidently thought I was going to lick her myself. For a while I admit, I felt like it too, but I had more important matters. Such as cleaning her down properly and finding her sister. Of course, she lost what scant little clothing she wore in the vat of ice cream, so I resorted to covering her with my own garmets. This left me severely under-clothed from my usual button over shirt. I felt naked walking about with nothing covering my torso. For some reason Ayxis also found wearing my clothes to be kinky. Now that I think of it, she finds nearly everything I do with her kinky…

>>20766093
Bookmarked. Thanks bro.

>>20766093

I find this to be very interesting, especially 3 and 4.

>>20766165
Its to help it flow better. The only time you use he said or a variation is to clarify who is speaking. so
"Hey James you seen Bob?" Carla said.
"Nope, haven't seen him recently."
"I am here!" Bob said as he jumped out of the shadows.

>Now rewrite it placing extra stuff there.

"Hey James you seen Bob?" Carla questioned James.
"Nope, haven't seen him recently." James replied most assuredly.
"I am here!" Bob exclaimed as he jumped out of the shadow

See the flow deference?

>>20766265

Yep. Though sometimes it makes sense to use something other than 'said', like if to people are trying to hold a quiet conversation and there no prior indication that they're trying to do so.

The Orkish singing becomes less tolerable by the day. Thanks to my work on the yet-to-be-named chronicle of Teegee and its history, I know that Harbinger is the one to blame for introducing them to metal. That was annoying, but as long as there was at least two walls between me and them I didn't mind.

But then some chucklefuck had to introduce them to the concept of rap battles. Whoever you are, I WILL get you back for this.

Aixys was thankfully still fully clothed. Though I can’t say she was in a less awkward position. She was wrestling with some strong man. The challenge being, if you could beat him, he’d give you a prize. I doubt it helped the stong man that Aixys was only wearing three of my leather belts tied together, one tied around her chest, one tied to that extending down and covering her genitalia, and on around her waist to hold the second one in place. It probably didn’t help him either that the second belt was slipping, or that Aixys was very flexible. Another case of a large crowd of hooting men blocked me, and thus I wrestled past all those sweating bodies, I think I passed one or two who had their hands in their pants. The strong man was defeated, with Aixys planting one foot on his chest, proudly displaying herself. The strong man didn’t look so inconvenienced by his defeat, and was enjoying the show as much as everyone else. “Where is my prize?” she asked.

By that point, I managed to wrestle past the crowd of aroused men and boys, grabbed Aixys and pulled her away, much to the despair of the gathered crowd. Some tried to stop me, but I had a reputation. One good look at my face, and they would step away. Aixys didn’t feel like it was a problem. Seeing me bare chested, she said, was enough a prize for her. I’m not sure if she was kissing up to me or genuinely meant it. I can never tell with the Fey.

Thus ended my one time I ever attended the TeeGee festivals. I can easily say I did not enjoy any part of it except the end. No not the end where I bought the sisters back. The end that came afterwards. The part where I finally managed to release my frustration and- dammit, that’s the Fey side talking again isn’t it?

Alright chaps, retcon time.

The fever. It’s one hell of a thing in this realm. Back in the Old Realm, a couple of days and you are back to normal. You sneeze a bit, have a runny nose, maybe some sinus issues. That’s it. When I awoke from what apparently was a four day long fever induced fit, I was confused to what was real or not. Apparently, after serving atop the walls for so long, even my warm clothes could not stave off the chill of the winds. When my shift was up, I had apparently stood still long enough for a drift to form at my side, and the replacement guard could not see me from the walls mounting steps. Evette had gotten worried, so she came looking for me when I didn’t come home an hour after my shift was up. When she found me, she called the guards to help her move me back to our home. I lay in the bed, in a set of comfy clothes, which made me worry the fact that someone had to have changed me (which I hoped was when Evette was alone) and a massive headache. I asked her if anything strange had happened since I was in bed, and when replied with a deft

“No, besides you talking and shaking a lot in your sleep”

So a few questions.
On the map, the black line surrounding the Desert of 1000 Sands is a river yes? Pretty damn sure it is but just covering my ass.

Next, Serrid hasn't been fleshed much yet, but the brief Ahelub the Serridian Merchant bits, it kinda gave the vibe that the Serridian's embraced the slave trade whereas the Mirthterrans seem to turn a blind eye to it.

Would that be an accurate assumption? I definitely want to write a story arc involving the Serridian slave trade while intentionally leaving most of the culture open, free for more experienced writers to flesh out in the future.

>>20766310
Yeah I forget what he did in such a case. But here is rules 3 and 4 in full. 3 Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue. The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But "said" is far less intrusive than "grumbled", "gasped", "cautioned", "lied". I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with "she asseverated" and had to stop reading and go to the dictionary.

4 Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said" ... he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances "full of rape and adverbs".

>>20766385

I was oddly confused, but relieved at the same time. However, I was not totally convinced that I had not stabbed an ethereal man in return for some strange honour bound oath. I remembered my “Dream” and looked out the door to the living room. The knife. If the knife was there, then I know it was real, if not… maybe it really was just a dream. I looked back at Evette, who was sitting on the edge of our bed, her hand on my cheek as she smiled pleasantly. Remembering the mark, I moved my hand to her collar to see if she had it. With a playful slap on my hand she said;

“Well aren’t you awake now? That can wait till later, Sir Knight.” she said with a sly tone.

>>20766400

The realization to what I just did kicked in, and made me blush a tad. I apologized, and asked her to show me her collarbone near her heart. She gave me a curious look and pulled the shoulder of her dress down, and lo and behold, there was no mark. I gave a sigh of relief, and fell back to the bed. She was all very oddly confused to my actions, but just dismissed it as after effects of the fever. She set about into the kitchen, taking a small book out from a drawer and flipping through the pages. I’m not sure if I drifted back to sleep or not at that point, but I do know I was bed-ridden for the next five days, and let me tell you: after nine days of absence, the guards got a much needed “spruce up” when I returned to duty. The men seemed like the enjoyed the slackness of my absence, but they got back into the swing of things as I began my yard drills and practice fights in the barrack again.

>>20766409
>>20766400
>>20766385

Tadaaaaaa!

Ugh, that was terrible. I'm no good with this lighthearted stuff. Grimdark seems to be my specialty.

>>20766310
I agree. I find there are times "asked" works much better than "said."

>>20766397

"Full of rape and adverbs." That sounds horrifying.
Good thing I do my best to avoid using anything other than "said". Don't want to rape my stories with adverbs and unnecessary verbs.

>>20766439
I won't argue with you guys, but the guy who wrote those rules has written more books than everyone on 4chan combined. And movies and tv shows. I break the rules my self some times.

>>20766486

I'm sure we all do at some point. Though if you've been writing as long as he has, you probably have your own little way to make readers understand your intentions.

>>20766514

His advice on detail is something I can relate to though. I think the in-depth detail of the characters and their surroundings is best left to those reading the story, or some encyclopedia style book for those who like that kind of thing.
But in the story, it usually breaks the flow.

>>20766486
Great writers have broken those rules a thousand times over. Mark Twain broke rule 7 more times than can be counted and yet he's THE Canon of American literature. It's good for people without a developed style, but putting rules on literature is like putting rules on any art. Sure, works for you, but if you understand the WHY of those rules work, you suddenly don't need them any more because you can replicate the "why" while breaking the rules entirely.

Also, was GearHeart in TeeGee during the Ork incident?

>>20766595

Everyone has their own little way of doing things that works best for them.

So, was my retcon not completely awful? Or did I just make everything worse.

>>20766595
Yep GearHeart was there, went kind of berserk
after he saw a young kid get killed.

>>20766595
This is true and he did say in the complete list that these were just guidelines. Problem is I can't find an online copy of it.

File: 1347942626765.jpg-(157 KB, 1032x774, ornstein_the_dragon_slaye(...).jpg)

One year after the orks joined us, we held an anniversary festival. Naturally since we were celebrating orks joining us, quite a lot of the festival involved physical contests. The biggest was the joust, but we managed to bring in a number of sports from the Old World, including beach volleyball, which I had mentioned as a joke. I really shouldn’t have been surprised that a joke was taken so far, TeeGee gets shit done. I decided not to participate, partly because there was a no magic rule, partly because most of the music sucked (though the ork stuff is pretty damn funny, I wonder if they know what rap battles are, this could be hilarious), and partly because I had something else that I needed to do. The first part of my plan was to get Ana drunk; there was no way she’d let me do what I was planning. Luckily all sorts of booze was brought in for our little party, and all I had to do was find someone selling hard apple cider. After that I mounted up on Rydia and flew off towards Thunder Rift Valley.

>>20766868
We landed when we got near the thunderclouds. I didn’t need Rydia getting hit by a stray lightning bolt and killing me because it left a scar. It didn’t take long for a group of local orcs to show up and demand identification. We told them who we were and I dropped Gearheart’s name to ear us a bit of good will, he’s real well liked around there. They ok’d us but we still had to pass their test of strength and beat one of their troops. That was plenty easy, no one ever suspects the lightning. It wasn’t strong but all I had to do was get a decent grip on him, shock him, and bash my new shield into his face. Rydia asked if she had to fight one of them too, but their leader said that only one person had to fight, and if they won they could bring other people in with them, even if they were weak. I’m not sure if that was meant as an insult or not, but Rydia sure took it as one and broke the girl’s arm.

>>20766886
After that I got right down to business. I found an area that had an active lightning storm going on, got the highest point I could find, lifted my spear into the air, and stood there until I got hit by a bolt of lightning (which took surprisingly long). I woke up the next day in a tent in a nearby orc camp with an awesome new scar (it’s like art, it really is) and with Rydia watching over me. I apologized for making her worry, but she said that she wasn’t. Gave some excuse about not taking me as a mate if something as weak as an act of God could kill me, I knew she was lying. Still I had what I needed. I knew that lightning bolt now, and I knew how to recreate it. So after a quick test fire we headed back, where we were met with a tear filled Ana and a Kari that slapped me when I told her what I did. Next day I decided to pay Fatwelder a visit since he was always interested in using my powers to help make his little toys. I gave him a demonstration by charging one of the batteries he made from twenty feet away (ok I melted it, and I didn’t hit the right one either, still wasn’t used to that much power). That wasn’t the most interesting part though. The most interesting part was that where my bolt had been, there was a small trail of iron dust falling to the ground. The most interesting part was that I had found myself a new weapon.

Note for later: try flying about the cloud line and jumping into a thundercloud.

>>20766681
Alright, do you wanna review what I've written with Lilly in it before it's posted? Make suggestions and correct any errors?

>>20766904
Nawh I like your writing enough and if its off I just say Lilly was in a bad mood as she hadn't gotten any recently.

>>20766983
The Orc bitch was going to drag James back to her bed, but I managed to convince her that he needed real sleep. Which was true as he looked like he was dead on his feet. I spent the night watching over him. He talks a lot in his sleep. Mostly stuff that sounds like complete nonsense. But I did pick out a name. Sara, she comes up a lot. I wonder what she meant to him. An old lover perhaps? Someday I may ask him, but for now I do not have the courage. The thing that most worries me though is how fitful his sleep is. Like a man haunted. Meina offered to take turns watching over him, but I told her I would be fine, I don't need as much sleep as mortals.

The Sun rise was beautiful today, never seen one before, least not that I can remember. Normally I sleep through them. After a quick breakfast of lighting lamb we made our way out to the land of the Snow Queen. We were accompanied by twenty of the best warriors of the clan, along with the queen asshole. The good new it wasn't far. Not even a half days journey. Her land was easily marked by giant icicles rising up from the ground.

>>20767006
Of course getting there and getting to her were two completely different things. First and foremost was the problem of the giant storm dragon. We had been walking along when a pale looking man had seamed to walk out of the snow.
“You have entered into my ladies realm. Leave before I must take action.”
“Buddy, I am here to speak with your lady.”
“She wants no visitors.”
“And I don't want to be out in the fucking snow. So get bent.”
“Well I warned you.”
And then he turned into a massive dragon.
“So Lilly, how do you feel about getting a large sized dragon dildo?”
“My insides positively quiver in anticipation.”
I heard some one say mother of god in the background. The dragon flew up in to the sky. It kept flying back and forth overhead spraying us with lightning and hail. The lightning was miserable, it got me on the second pass. I though I would be fine, you know since I wasn't running around in a suit of armor like everyone else, nope fate chose to be a cruel mistress this day and a bolt sought out the worst place to hit. I feel to the ground clutching at my womanhood. Stupid fuck mothering magic asshole ring, when I find out whose great idea it was to use them to train new girls I will make that person suffer. Though I guess in a positive light I had experienced worse.

From my new found position on the ground I watched as James did battle with the dragon. As the dragon was flying to far over head to hit with any conventional weapon, he had turned to magic. There he stood taking strike after strike of lightning in the middle of a field of snow and bodies. Since the rest of us had taken to ground we where no longer getting hit by the lightning.

>>20767021
“How the fuck is the lightning not affecting you!”
“Faraday Cage.”
“What?”
“Magic.”
“Then help me out!”
“Can't it doesn't work that way.”
“Fuck you!”
“Love you too honey. Wait if you stay close to me you should be fine.”
“Now you tell me.” I said as I crawled over to him. Damn the snow was cold, my nipples felt like they were going to burst through the fabric of my top. I got to him and stood up.
“Keep crouched down and you wont get hit.”
“Do you have a plan?”
“Keep hammering him with magic till he dies?”
“That's a nice plan but it isn't working.”
“Well if we can put some holes in his wings and force him to land then I have some ideas.”
“So aim for the wings.”
“Yep.”

>>20767030
I drew my bow and notched an arrow, I worked two spells into it. One that would light the arrow on fire after it left my hand and the other to guide my aim. I let my grip on the string slip and the arrow arched out towards the dragon, it burst into flame midair. It struck true and exploded on contact. Ripping a jagged hole in the left wing. The dragon went into a spiral and crashed into the ground crushing a number of Orcs under it. James ran up to the dragon pulling an object out of his bag. He pried the dragons jaw open and thew it in and then he slammed the jaws of the dragon closed just as it was starting to regain it's senses. The dragon reared up and let out a below and then its neck just fucking exploded. Shards of metal flying everywhere.
“What in the name of the chaste heavens was that!”
“Magic explosive grenade, call it the five pound throat slitter. Made it myself, in-fact it was that project that you kept bugging me to take a break on.”
“Well in that case I'm glad your brain gets more blood than your spear.”

The Orcs that still lived got up from the ground. Meina and the Orc bitch were unharmed. The bitch made her way over to me.
“So are you not going to claim your prize.”
“Nah, I got an eyeful when he fly overhead when I was taking a nap on the ground, must have been a disfigured one. Barely large enough to even bother with. Though you might want it as I am sure it would be almost more than you could handle.”
“Slut.”
“Man-beast.”
“Girls I will separate you two in an amusing and embarrassing for you way if I have to. Ruby have some of the men cut the scales off and drag them back to the castle.”
“Why?”
“One delegating, two armor.”
“But we need the men.”
“They were getting slaughtered. If the Snow Queen is stronger than the dragon their dead, if the Snow queen is weaker then we don't need them slowing us down.”

>>20767038
The Orc men were sent back dragging the scales. We went off in the direction we believed the ice queen would be. We where walking for a while (had to leave the horses behind as the snow was to deep and the hills we had to climb over were to much for them) when Meina started talking to James.
“I suck at this I'm as useless as the Orcs. I'm going to just get in the way and end up dead, they were right. I'm useless.”
“Your not useless, don't ever let anyone say that about you even your self. Cause if you say it you start believing it and then it becomes true.”
“But I did not do anything in the battle and you sent the Orcs back for that.”
“I sent the Orcs back to show the orcs whose in charge. I don't expect any person to fight a dragon on their first encounter with one.”
“You did.”
“I am fucking insane, so it doesn't count.”
“What's your secret?”
“The secret to being insane? Well I guess practice, had a lot of practice playing games of war back in my world. But I do have some tips. Never let them see you sweat, Always keep them guessing. And finally never give them a chance to catch up.”
“That's it.”
“That's it, also pretend you know what your doing, keep doing it long enough and you end up not pretending.”
“Thanks for listening to my complaints James.”
“No problem.”

Meina had a look of happiness on her face for the rest of the day. We made camp that night with a large spire made of ice off in the distance. I stood guard that night, James slept like he did the night before. How did I never notice that.

>>20766983
She's actually quite jovial, playing the friend to Kikki. I'm looking more for references and style more than anything else. I'll be honest, I haven't read her character too deeply, so I don't wanna totally goof it with her thought processes and references to Jim.

File: 1347943413769.jpg-(213 KB, 702x366, dragonslayer_spear.jpg)

Sir Kitril? Yeah I know him, don’t do too much work for the guy though. He gets most of his work done by a Cyclops down in Serrid, gave me the guys address in case I ever head down there. Still, I know his gear. Dragon Slayer Ornstein was pretty damn popular on the Internet, and Lyrik stole the armor design straight from him. Well not entirely, but almost. Aside from giving all the metal a stark white color the helm is a bit different, not as big, with a little lamia statue on top of it, and the plume is made from the hair of all three of his waifus; white, gray, and gold. Stolen design or not, his armor is pretty damn amazing. Pure mythril embedded with these strange red crystals that are supposed to help his magic, elemental ice placed at a few points inside to keep him cool, all lined in silk with enchantments that let him move around the battlefield like a combination of a grasshopper and a coininoch. His spear is mostly iron with some more of those crystals, but the blade itself is adamantine.

File: 1347943490159.jpg-(53 KB, 640x360, f52e086d.jpg)

>>20767091
His shield is something real interesting though, it’s just one big dragon scale with even more of those crystals and his crest etched on the surface, a d20 with a lamia tail, a kanin tail, and a pair of dragon wings. He usually carries a few side weapons with him too; he still has a knife he brought with him from the old world. He doesn’t usually use a ranged weapon; he’s a horrible shot. Don’t think he’s useless at a range though; he’s deadly accurate with his lightning bolts within thirty paces, more if you’re carrying lots of metal. He’s got one more really weird weapon he carries with him too, iron dust. He’s able to use his lightning magic to keep the stuff whirling around him like a sandstorm, tearing into his enemies and cutting down on their vision. Not quite sure how he does it, just know that one day he went out to get struck by lightning and came back able to use more lightning magic than ever. Yea, you heard me right, he went out of his way to get struck by lightning. What do you mean “Is he insane”? He’s a harem knight and a wizard; insanity is a prerequisite for both.

File: 1347943770717.png-(17 KB, 520x520, 1330905091589.png)

>>20765940
"Have you eaten today, yet?" she asked
"Yeah, actually."
"I hope you saved room; Outrealmer food is delicious" she dragged me by the wrist.

I wondered what we had done by unleashing our sweets into this realm.

However, it did feel nice to eat barbeque and other Outrealm food. It must have cost quite a bit of meat, but the planning committee really outdid themselves on making us feel at home; I saw foods ranging from hamburgers to pizza. Groups of knights were even drunkenly singing Outrealm songs; I distinctly recall one group singing The Star Spangled Banner, God Save the Queen, and Hare Hare Yukai all at once. I would be lying if I said I wasn't one of them.

>>20767057
If you want I'll read over it. But she is a jovial person friendly playing the opposite to GearHeart who is more likely to keep to him self. She worries about James alot as she feels like she owes him a lot for helping her to put aside her old ways and rescuing her from hell. She tends to be playful and friendly with everyone but Ruby. Shes a bit of a sex addict. Uh trying to think, oh she has moments of crisis were she ponders her lack of a memory of the past. She doesn't like to do it though. She wants to form her own harem, this is because she never wants to be alone again.

whelp, just did a page count and it's official, i've written more for you glorious bastards over the last week than i have for my classes over the last four years of college.

thank you

>>20767279
I know that feel.

>>20767279

I'm at 7,298 words so far.

>>20767314
WriteFag Dick contest.
I am at a total of 20,000 words total.

>>20767279
As an Communications and Literature double-major, I will never know that feel.

>>20767185
Finishing touches going on now, expect it soon. Perhaps I should save it for the next thread? I think I'm going to write it in two parts.

>>20767314
7456
>>20767329
damn
>>20767376
physics major here

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>>20767376

I'll never write here more than I would for school.

Yay History and Literature double major...

>>20767400

Physics major here too. I hope too add enough to rival everyone else, probably won't though.

>>20767400
History and Law/Criminal Justice here.

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>>20767172
Alright, I need sleep now. Let me know how you guys feel, if it's not too much trouble, and I'll continue tomorrow.
Same Waifu time, same Waifu channel.

After a couple hours of dinner, rewrites and distractions in the form of chasing after a runaway dog, I have finished the first part of my story, which I feel disappointed that I didn't do sooner. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first bit will get to rest of it soon.
---
Welcome to my stall valued customer, you've entered at an oppotune time. Got some rare things on sale, that might interest you if you're out traveling about. What? You want to hear a story. If you want one the library is just down the path. My story? You want to know about ol' Dysgie the merchant? No one has asked that in a while, well anyone that I don't know anyway. Since, I don't know your story, why would I tell my tale? A good story deserves another as an old saying goes. So, how about this: you tell me a tale about you or an story of great signifignance and I will tell you how Dysgie Ryan came to this weird world of wonder. Sounds fair, no?

>>20766886
Your lucky your name wasn't weapon eater. :) If you have an Orc name they test you on it. If you don't then you just have to beat one of the guards.

>>20767492

What kind of weapons would they have you eat? I can think of some more subtle ones that would pose no trouble if you properly trained your body.

>>20766426
Your stuff is dark, but it isn't pointlessly so. Or at least, it doesn't seem like it to me. Also, Harbinger makes for an interesting contrast to the noblebrightness of the Knights.

>>20767549
It loses something in translation. When GearHeart first ran into the Orcs he was full of arrows. Since he basically walked it off they gave him the name weapon eater. So the guard tested GearHeart by stabbing him with a sword when they first met. The test varies based off the name I like I said. So like if your name ment lightning hand then they would test you on speed of hand unless of course it meant lightning coming from your hand.

>>20766426
It was actually kinda funny to see a grimdark character mess around at a festival, a nice change of pace. Your grimdark does provide a nice foil for some people to work with, though.

>>20767585
well my name means "other born", i know unoriginal as fuck, but it still sounds cool
http://draconic.twilightrealm.com/

>>20767655
They only do it if one has earned an Orc name. Sort of like they are checking to see if you really earned it. And like I said if you don't have an Orc name they just challenge you to a challenge of strength .

>>20767585
Sent. 1,076 words, mostly dialog. Hope you enjoy.

I kind of wonder if Fearghaile would have an Ork name, especially after the battle.

>>20767585
>>20767706

Hm... Interesting. What kind of name might they give to a dragon?

>>20767730
Reading it right now. He would after his display

>>20767750
Its a name that is earned, so the dragon would have to do something to really impress the Orcs. Then the name would be based off that action. So think of an action then just sum it up in like two words and make it sound kind of native American Indian.

>>20767780

Never ask me to come up with names. The best I'm capable of is ripping off some random Japanese word that has a meaning I think to be fitting of the character.
Belle and Ruby I got off of one of my friends.

>>20767833

I sometimes venture out into other languages though.

>>20767848
Well if the dragon flew so fast that it caused an after shock they might Call it Air Splitter or something like that. Then you just smash away at the keyboard like so Kljasron and there you go the Orc name for Air Splitter

>>20767730
>>20767753


Message flagged
Monday, September 17, 2012 10:43 PM
Lilly wouldn't give any one a hard time about anything culture or habit related (Due to a open mind and a history of doing worse/dumber so she tries not to judge) so the line about heckling is a bit off. Lilly always refers to Sir GearHeart as James unless its pillow talk, Not that that matters to your story. The only thing that really stands out is the line "If only she knew" if you could explain what your thinking here I would apreciate that. As I have no clue what Lilly is talking about. Other than that its all good. Also great story. I think you captured what I wanted to do better than I did.

>>20767918

Hm... So not that hard. Just mash away till you get something that doesn't sound too silly.

>>20768031
Got it in one. Ozgrumuch is weapon eater.
Cruzmecah is bringer sleep.
Riudiabie is man breaker.

>>20767988
Message returned. Thanks again. I may wait to start the next thread with this, since there's still part 2 (which will be split between Lem and Kikki taking turns narrating), but so far so good.

In the meantime, what name do you guys think the Orks would give him? I'd be terrible at this since he really needs a name from the outside rather than in (ie, his writer).

>>20768071
Thanks for clarifying. It has my support.

>>20768031

I'll try writing more for my story after I finish up with classes tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have their first trip into the castle for the next thread.

>>20768071
Hey could you point me out to the thread were he fought in the battle against the Orcs I can't seem to find it.

>>20768223
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20698883/#p20702212

Starts here. The whole Fearful Gale thing is an in-joke with the Dragoons, and no one really uses it, so you can safely ignore it.

>>20766339
I am now convinced that the fey Harbinger keeps around are the ones behind the Orks' new method of debating. Furthermore, they have taken to editing my books. Other copies exist, but it is a pain to revert their changes.

I do not wish to play their game, but if it keeps my tomes intact, so be it. Of course, how does one out-troll a Fey?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

>>20768272
Tempest, Peace Slayer, One Man, Bringer of Silence, Alpha, Burden Bearer, Three Ork Slayer, possible more. Would be some that the Orcs came up with. Zailleic is a good strong male orc name that could fit any meaning. But you will most likely be able to make something you like better

>>20768468
Exploding runes bitches. Also exploding runes that have special effects. A book that can't be open as the pages are all just one really thick page with fake pages drawn on the side. Also give it a really interesting title. Iron savings every where. Borrow a book of naughty tentacles from someone, Lilly has one. Malevolent inks that attack people that mess with them and dye them a wide mix of funny colors.

>>20768506
>>20768565
Speaking of ink, I have in my possession special ink that reacts to magic, specifically the magic of the person who wrote it. Very useful for those who want to write down something very private. It is also useful for secret messages, the one receiving the message just needs to know the word or phrase the writer enchanted onto the message. I am willing to give everyone 3 inkwells containing this liquid. For a price of course.

>>20768506
A name someone else gives you isn't about liking it, it's about living with it. My last two works were about how my character reacted to events, but not much on the consequences. Not sure if I should be the one to choose it.

>>20768738
I Think Three Ork Slayer would be the most likely as they would be impressed by someone killing three orks in a single blow. And since the Ork language isn't real... The only fast rule is that male names tend to have a Z,O,or M. and Femlea names like R, L, and S. Ganzuma I like it feels like three orc slayer. Also yeah you don't chose an Orc name in story. In story it has to be given to the character. At a naming ceremony traditionally but that not a solid rule, as thats for allies for neutrals and enemies they just come up with somthing they find funny. Like one of the a human dukes earned the name Ronzalow, which is runs away like scarred woman. Also manI have given a lot of thought to Orcs today

>>20768830
Heh, well it wasn't exactly a single blow, it was more like three in a row. But no matter, I must retire. Hopefully I'll make it in time to get in the early part of the next thread if not start it.

>>20764862
I swear, if you mention that BLOODY Capra Demon again, I will PAINT YOUR ARMOUR GREEN! That thing was such a pain, it made me want to stab a puppy!

Good morning, by the way! Let' see if I can't get some of my new story up today! Good thing most of the writing today seems lighthearted; I feel somewhat obligated to read the heavy stuff, but lighthearted slice-of-life I can just be happy knowing exists.

>>20769331
Wait til you get to Sif, you'll feel really bad then.

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When I was first told about the idea of an athletics festival, I admit I wondered if it was someone's idea of a joke. When it was announced that this was not the case, however, I was starting to look forward to it. While a bit apprehensive about my harem's reaction, they seemed to take to the idea well. Swimwear was somewhat of an alien concept for them, but much to my surprise, they all seemed to like the idea.

Thankfully one of the tailors had figured out how to make them, albeit in a cruder manner using cotton instead of nylon, but I saw an opportunity in this.

During one of my expeditions to the northlands we had stumbled on a creature that produced a strange fiber, similar to silk, slightly cold to the touch, that could be woven into fabric, dubbed frostweave. Among it's qualities were the ability to repel water, better even than the sealskin some of us used to line out cloaks, making it a more viable, and less see-through, material than cotton. It still required a cotton lining for most though since the chilled fabric and be a bit unpleasant after a while.

File: 1347963928743.jpg-(102 KB, 470x470, Sode no Shirayuki.jpg)

Oh, its you again. Here you go, fill out requisition forms 3, 5 and 69-34. Hmm? What do I know of the weaboo? Oh, you must mean Sir Kasai. Eh, I don't deal with him much, lucky bastard came with us and had his own sword, a good Katana of modern make that he had commissioned. He stood guard in the early days, and had some skill with it, helping Sir Giovanni keep the Guard running. In his travels he has gathered a few other weapons, couple of elven daggers, a elven short bow and that light cavalry sabre he uses upon his horse Shadowfax. Great big white stallion, a proud horse and it seems to love him too.

He's one of the odder Knights armourwise, he wears a chainmail shirt underneath his clothes after he took an arrow to the shoulder, but otherwise travels clean. He usually wears a khaki shirt and pants, nothing special. He never goes anywhere without that giant maroon cloak though. It was once a fine cloak, but of course it's all patched to hell now cause he never takes it off. Oh, and his hat. He got that specially made, wears it everywhere, says it's to remind him of his family back home. He calls it a Slouch Hat, and he wears it with the left side pinned up with a Rising Sun badge. I heard it took him a good year or so to get the hat made right and for a jeweler to make the badge he wanted.

>>20769290

Potato powered lights. I must continue reading the old threads to see what other oddities people have used to power their electronics.

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>>20769854
Karrigan, after finding out about this material, had cried out "CAPITALISM, HO!" a phrase she picked up after I explained to her how the concept had worked in my world, and, working with Prescilla, figured out a way to domesticate these frost worms, as we called them, and bring them back to Teegee. The frost stone ores discovered in the Dwarven mountains helped to facilitate this since they needed the cold to live, but the vegetation of the warmed lands seemed to agree with them, so they produced much larger amounts of their silk than we originally had hoped for.

This was a good thing too, because swimwear made from this material, dyed in all manner of colors, became quite popular, and the poor tailor had to hire a number of assistants just to keep up with demand. None could deny how glorious the results were though.

While that was being sorted out though, I was explaining to my waifus and some of our neighbors the basics of volleyball. While not a sport I was particularly adept at, I knew enough to give them an idea of what to do.

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>>20769924
His first Waifu, Tomoe, is a Kitsune. I swear when he brought her back she only had 5 tails, but she's a full 9 tail now. She has her own matching pair of swords, a magnificently crafted katana and tanto set. Set brings them in for me to sharpen every few weeks. Not that she needs 'em, her fireballs roast men alive from 50 paces. She doesn't wear any armour but does have a matching cloak to Sir Kasai in blue. Frankly, she doesn't need armour anyways. I've seen her fry arrows from the sky, and she's a master swordswomen. I think her trick is her footwork, but I haven't got the time to go find out either.

And Larissa, well, she's a very shy Lamia, but she's been opening up more and more. Sir Kasai came to me one day and bought her a nice bow, and though she'll tell you she's terrible I've seen her hit the center of a target at 50 paces with a 5 arrow group.

So, you done with those forms yet? What do you mean, "Makes no sense?"...
Nope. No complaints. This is TeeGee. We get shit done, so get to it!

>>20769854
>>20769945
Karrigan is a master trader, right? I need a bugle for the story I'm writing about the first remembrance of Arrival Day.

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>>20769945
I can't remember who won or lost that first year, but I can remember everyone having a grand time doing it.

I recall there being a fine showing of a tournament as well but, much to my waifus displeasure, I abstained from competing. As fun as such things are to watch, they are the proving grounds of knights, and dispite bearing the title of one, I can't say I ever showed much aptitude for most of the knightly arts, particularly jousting. I suppose one could blame my preference to foot combat and tenancy to not fight in organized groups very often on that.

Well, that and I was too busy enjoying funnel cakes and watching everyone else go at it. It was a festival, after all, and I was going to have a good time of it.


>>20769969
She would have been around before then, so yeah.

>>20769988
Sweet. I once learned how to play a song on teh bugle, and for one purpose only. It fits Arrival day ceremonies perfectly.

>Author’s Note: A Catafalque is a Memorial, usually the Coffin of an Unknown Soldier or an Obelisk.
It was before dawn on the 15th of Sun’s Dusk. All of TeeGee stood in the courtyard of Castle Waifu, a murmur running through the crowd. I stood behind the small stage, checking the last of my things. I was dressed in a simple uniform, khaki pants and a khaki dress shirt with stylized pockets matching the Old Realm Commonwealth armies service dress. I did not wear my usual katana, instead my sabre hung at my side on a leather strap.

Sir Artorias’ Waifu Karrigan had done the absolute best to get me a bugle for the occasion, and to put me in contact with a good seamstress to create my uniform. She had also done brilliantly in spreading the word of the Dawn Service, I hadn’t expected everyone to be here. I couldn’t thank her enough before the ceremony. Then, out of the corner of my eye I spotted the first hints of the sunrise.

I stepped forward and took the stage.
Silence fell across the crowd.

>>20770457
All of TeeGee stood assembled before me. Knights and their Waifus, townsfolk and farmers, merchants and messengers, even those simply passing through had been roused and stood there in solitude. Before any nerves could set in, I began my speech.

“We stand here today to remember our Arrival. We stand here today to remember those who have perished. We stand here today to remember those who were murdered. We stand here today to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for us. Today, we remember comrades fallen, and show our respect to the dead. Many of you remember the dark days of The First Winter, and our rescue at the hands of the Felim. Many of you remember the Day of Union, when we stood fast and said ‘No More’, and cried out against the darkness as one voice. We are gathered here today to mark these moments and honour our fallen, as our forefathers have done for theirs in days long gone and in places we will never tread.

This is a time of great sorrow, but also great joy. We will remember them, and we will show our respects, and we will live on as they would have wanted us to. I shall now play the Last Post and I ask you observe a Minute’s Silence.” As I finished my speech, the sun broke over the horizon.

>>20770475
“PARADE! PARADE, ATTENTION!” I called out.
Raising the bugle to my lips, I began to play the Last Post.
> youtube.com/watch?v=gRqMMaCZfHI
I finished, and the Minute’s Silence was held.

“They shall not grow old,
As we who are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.
Lest We Forget.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you. The Remembrance Dawn Service is completed, the Parade is now Dismissed. Any who wish to ride with me on patrol through the forest are free to join me. I shall set out in half an hour from the gates.”

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>>20770478
I don’t recall exactly how many Knights joined me that day, but we rode a patrol through the forest and it was a sight to see. We stopped many times to honour the resting places of fallen comrades, and did not return until after sunset. I know that another service was during the day by others, but that is their tale to tell. I did my part.

Lest We Forget.

---Excerpt from The Tales of Sir Kasai: An Autobiography

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>people going beyond 7000 words
>their characters are behind at least 2 important events
>still haven't finished my second story yet

WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOR

>>20770853
for waifus

>>20770853
KEEP WRITING MAN! ADD TO THE AWESOME!

And if you can't believe in yourself, believe in the me who believes in YOU!

>>20770929
oh god, kamina would fit in this kingdom so well

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>>20770929

>listening to Gurren Lagann soundtrack
>caption under the bottle cap says "wait for the sign"
>read this post

It's official, I'm not sleeping tonight.

>>20770952
Yeah he would.

My point that I am most disappoint about is that I will never hear the roar of a fighter jet before I die... Nor will I soar through the clouds with a little luck, and a little cold blue steel.

Bah, I'm off to bed, sleep calls.

>>20770853
Hey, I just got started.

>>20770983
Have a dragon give you a ride, I'm sure you can find one who would oblige.

>>20771046

Will read your stuff later and give some feedback. Last time I've anonymously given critique to people, some were disappointed that I left them out. Still they're OPINIONS.

>>20771099

Some people love those opinions. I just felt like pointing out that you aren't the only one lagging behind.

Do you guys think this world could handle another antagonist? I have been spinning an idea in my head about an actual evil guy who gathered minions and all that to oppose the harem knights themselves, I figured they dont have actual classical evil overlord type opposing them.

>>20771535
Come to think of it, we're all a bunch of adventurers... Most of the Knights Harem will probably fight at least one evil overlord in their lives. Just depends on the scale of the threat. Most evil-overlord types have over-inflated ideas of their own threat level. You wana write one, cool!

Something that actually poses a threat to the whole order may not be met too well, but someone who could be taken by your standard adventuring group, but who is too much of a challenge for a single knight, might work well.

>>20771569
Well, you will see what kind of person I have in mind when the writefagging is done. If its not good enough, just ignore it. Don't want to let this idea to go completely to waste.

>>20771535
Couldn't hurt, I suppose, but making it a few years after our last big incident, say around 8 AA, would make it so that we don't seem to stay under siege.

>>20771535
I'm with the britfag. if this overlord is a threat to everyone, then everyone is obliged to put their piece as to what they did to help defeat him. Give him a fatal flaw that allows him to be killed by a small warband or heck, just an adventuring party. as an adventurer, do whatever!

>>20771614
Ah, you see, the timeline is very special part of the whole idea. I'll keep writefagging it up, can't really say much without giving it all away. But no, the knights wont suddenly be under huge siege out of nowhere.

>>20771630
I'll keep him believably killable, last thing I want to do is to put a Mary Sue into the setting.

>>20770485
I know you intended differently, but I was hearing "Taps" in my head when I read this. This might have been my favorite of your works.

>>20771614
Worth noting that any story that features Sir Andrew being anywhere but the castle will be taking place after at least the middle of 7 AA, as until that point, he refused to leave, considering Teegee to still need at least someone at home who knew what he was doing. (yeah, I've got kind of a big head like that). What I'm currently working on takes place about the year 8 AA.

>>20771754
I never put a solid date on when the incident with the Black Iron Tarkus was, likely around 4 or 5 though, so I think Artorias was Knight-Sergeant by that time.

>>20771535
Here. Sorry guys, but after viewing my starting text, I realized that.
1. My english is clearly not as good as I thought.
2. The entire idea would simply not work.
3. My writing abilities are not good enough to produce text that is pleasing to the eye.

So, sorry about that. I was just playing around with the idea of "What if this wasn't the first time people were warped over?". Thinking of an guy, perhaps only survived of the so called previous wave, losing his waifu, becoming super mad, and when he sees so called newcomers with waifus, he goes super jelly and wanted to kill all waifus, being self centered brick he is.

oh. another harem knights thread would you like another story about sir iris?

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>>20772264
YOU

>>20772264

Why the fuck not. Bring it on.

Slow morning.

>>20772905
Slow day. I wish I had something to contribute, but I've had... Issues all day. Looking forward to what you guys concoct though. I refuse to believe the thread's slowing down. People are just creating longer works now, right?

Right?

>>20773134
Well I am, its dragging on and on.

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>>20772264
Sure, why not, though honestly, I wish we had more drawfags in on this drawing scenes and things from events in the history of TeeGee.

>>20773134
well we're approaching autosage for this thread I think. I'm still working on this piece, but since I finished part one, I'm not too worried about having something to start the thread.

In the meantime, I've been getting this idea of American South flavored Halflings. Not the racist part, the Close Knit Southern Community part. Since the region climate-wise resembles the Carolinas (and the Appalachian region closer to the mountains) and they grow cotton, sugar cane, and pipe tobacco, it would be a perfect fit.

>>20773134
Yes

>>20773293
Do they play banjos?

>>20773320
I hear banjos...PADDLE FASTER!

>>20773320
http://youtu.be/_jBF1dcTlcM

Damn straight they do.

>>20773392

I must say, I was ready to punch you, if you'd post anything other than this.

>>20773392
Banjo time!

Now I have something I thought up about magic explosives, like the magic primer, that would allow them to exist, but not spread everywhere.
My thought is that these things are gunpowder that has been enchanted to behave differently, such as explode on impact or make a bigger boom. The enchanting process happens to be long and delicate; any mistakes will most likely make it explode in your face, and even successfully completing the enchanting process does not apply a permanent effect..
So magic explosives would require an expensive base material, a lot of time from a skilled magic user, and it would have to be used before the enchantment dissipates.

I thank those who offered their suggestions, but I have found a much simpler solution to my Fey problem. I'm going to bore them. If they don't find me interesting, I figure they'll leave me alone.

I intend to do this by ignoring them and their efforts to aggravate me. If they become desperate enough to show their faces, I will treat them to a lecture on Mirthterran politics and how it compares with medieval Europe. If for some reason they enjoy my rant, I'll threaten to stop if they don't behave.

I was a history professor, dammit. These Fey are nothing compared to Stanford students.

>>20773560

I wish you luck in your endeavor.