>>20684912
These Outrealmers are mostly fair-skinned, like the Mirthterrahns, yes, but there are also some who look like our people or even like the southern barbarians and even stranger races. In one of those first days I made the mistake of approaching one of them mistaking him for a Serridian, I quickly realized my error when he answered my greeting in our tongue with that language of theirs. Now I can't even believe I once mistook one of these Outrealmers for one of our people. They might look like other Humans in this land, but they are different creatures. After some time everybody can tell whether someone is an Outrealmer or not, you just need to look in their eyes for a hint of what a less observant person would call madness. That's the mark of a true Outrealmer. Once I learned how to see it, I never got mistaken again.

These people can understand and speak Common Mirthterrahn, but in all truth the actual language of the town of Castle Waifu is something I've come to call the Teegee Cant, a mixture of Common with Felim and Outrealmer words. The very concept of "Waifu" is alien to our world and one I still have problems describing but I take must be almost synonymous to lover. The worst insults you can say to another man is "That Guy", I've been witness myself to a few fights between Outrealmers after one called that word to another. "Mary Sue" is also a derisive title they throw to each other but one I suspect they don't even agree on what it means. "-4 Strength", "railroad", "munchkin", "meme", to the newcomer it does indeed sound like nonsense. When two Outrealmers engage in the heated debate (I suspect of religious nature) they call "Edition Wars" the TeeGee Cant can almost rival with the arcane language of the Djinn invokers of the Desert of the Thousand Sands.

>>20684926
TeeGee is a land without caliph were commoners mingle with noble-born and the closest thing they have to a ruler is something they call the Council of Dee-Ems, at best a consultative body without any real power where those interested can go to discuss the politics of the entire realm. And yet the Outlanders don't live in anarchy despite organizing themselves according to their whims. My only explanation for this is that, somehow, they can get in contact with Erz and receive orders and instruction from their leaders. Sometimes I catch them talking about a God Emperor and how they are going to purge the heretics, or recalling horrible tales of slaughter and war set in worlds very much like our own. Their elite army, the Harem Knights, are composed by their best warriors (women included!), but there are also Sires among the common population, their title earned in an Elven skirmish almost two years ago. Nonetheless, this title doesn't offer any benefits and some Outrealmers seem to take it almost as a joke (which is a very common attitude for them).

>>20684947
During my stay in their midst I had the chance of interacting with many of these Outrealmers and, to my distaste, some of their Waifus, as well as finding some of their secrets. Future Sarrid spies would do well to memorize some of these names. Sir Giovanni is the head of the Harem Knights order and he's in charge of the castle guard, if Sarrid ever goes to war against TeeGee he'll be a very important piece in the board. I've yet to approach him. Other member of the order is Sir Fearghaile, a diplomat currently aboard establishing relations with the Mirthterrahn kingdoms. I found him a very likeable person, but still possessed of that insanity of the Outrealmers. Yet the most famous knight of them all is who they call the Ear Rubber, Sir Gavran. He came looking for a gift for her Elven lover to celebrate what they call the Day of Union. Gavran was the one who convinced the Outrealmers to go to war against the Elves and to this day his voice still has weight in the council. Always laugh his jokes, even if you don't understand them. You can't either forget Sir Lyrik, another regular presence in Castle Waifu and some sort of war engineer, designing strange machines for war. Next you have Sir [Nope], whom I've found most agreeable with reason despite being an Outrealmer. He tends to be the most level-headed member of the council and can perhaps be persuaded to listen to some of our suggestions as long as they don't go against the interests of TeeGee. Sir Rhenel, another member of the council, tends to listen to what Sir [Nope] has to say, but his behavior is far more erratic (some whisper his Waifu is to blame). You can still win his favor by pretending to enjoy the horrible noise he calls music.

>>20684912
>Older thread 404'd
Did it?
Foolz says it was manually deleted.
...I hope the mod didn't turn into an asshat, yet again.

Anyway, I loved what I read of your writefaggotry. Is there a third part?

>>20684953
Most times the guard of the Castle is commanded by Sir Artorias, sergeant and another Harem Knight. I suspect he might be using his position to benefit the business of his Kanin lover. Other guard to take into account is Kotunn, he's in charge of the night watch and counts with the aid from two bat-like creatures that follow him everywhere. It would be difficult for even for a small group of soldiers to reach the walls of Castle Waifu at night without being noticed by the two flying watchers. Yet not all Outrealmers stay inside their lands, some of them have begun exploring the continent and having what they call "adventures". You have no doubt heard of Sir Kasai and his attacks to our slave traders, but there are also others out there like Sir Ornlex ,who we also should be keeping our eye on. By the Caliph, I'm afraid that, as the tales of Teegee spread, the number of sympathizers in the monster races grows. They have even designated one of the buildings as a library, open to all inhabitants of the land and managed by Olin, a somewhat imposing Outrealmer known for having a bad temper and yet quite patient with those who look for knowledge. Be careful when asking too much about Erz, he can get suspicious. Other remarkable Outrealmers are Sir Alaric and Alexander, the first one in charge of organizing the bands of pillagers and gravediggers who explore abandoned ruins and caves in the land of TeeGee, the latter is quite a popular individual. For some reason many Outrealmers have short sight and require some sort of binoculars to see correctly, he's the one who crafts such valued objects.

>>20684968
The Caliph (blessed be him!) made the right choice by choosing me to become his ears in the north. Other less trained spies would have missed the strange reunions late at night between Sir [Nope], the one they call Fatwelder and Sir Antonius. I approached them in silence, using the shadows to hide from them and from any other possible witness. They were talking about something they called "gunpowder", an Outrealm substance capable of great destruction. I've tried to attain some of that gunpowder, but after what happened with what that machine that launched shovels, vigilance has been upgraded and now there are watchers all over the courtyard. I believe we should investigate further and act quickly or our enemies would win this hand. The Dwarves have sent a liaison, a certain Dorf Strongfast who has somehow earned the trust of the Council of DMs although I suspect he's as disgusted as I am about having all these monsters around. The Drasavian envoy, Evarion Windfellow, has gone native and I suspect he has cut all his ties with his nation. Let that one be a cautionary tale for all of us.

>>20684983
The wind brings also rumors. Rumors of the Elvish Realms banding together to retaliate for the attack to the western village, a true war and not the skirmishes Outrealmers have grown accustomed to. The Caliph (may the water never run dry in his reign) knows how patient the Elves can be, willing wait decades before striking their enemies. It almost seems as if the Outlanders have forgotten about their eastern neighbors. Almost. I suspect the support from their monster allies and the use of gunpowder could perhaps level the balance for TeeGee. Siding with them in exchange for the secret of gunpowder would be a wise decision, although one that could put us at odds with the Elves were them to win this battle. We'll see what happens. Other rumors also speak of a wizard, the one responsible of the presence of the Outrealmers in our world. A necromancer who lives beyond the Knoll wastes and commands power over undead armies. I wonder if we could perhaps reach him first and convince him to break his spell and send the Outrealmers back to Erz. We would then search Castle Waifu and unearth their secrets for the greater glory of Sarrid.

I must stop writing right now. I suspect Sir Virgil is onto me and I must send this report as quickly as possible.

Blessed be the Caliph! May the fruit of his garden always be sweet!

- His faithful servant, Ahelub el-Izir,
Last Seed 19th (According to the TeeGee calendar)

File: 1347383197272.jpg-(211 KB, 500x563, tumblr_m5eyvdgAKe1rvvidco1_500.jpg)

>>20684957
A third part and a big shout out to all of you making this happen! I'm cheap like that. Thank you for reading it!

>>20684957
I strongly suspect some asshole mod decided we were having too much fun.

As I said, the scarcity of sulphur was my idea. That, alongside the difficulty in finding and refining mercury, or the production of nitric acid means our firearms production is likely to be limited. Besides, a few short-term enchantments on arrows, coupled with a longbow (an invention I claimed credit for in thread #2, given that the Mithterrahns use crossbows and Elven musculature means they're restricted to composite and recurved bows), are just much more efficient.

On another note, I have a slight objection to that map... It seems that, given the area it's supposed to cover, there shouldn't be so many disparate biomes so close together. Even in a world of magic, the laws of nature are still obeyed.

>>20685018

That quite a nice story. Especially the part about everyday life in the castle.

>>20685026

A scale would help greatly, if there there is a significant distance between these places then it could be fine.

>>20685026
I thought this was supposed to be set in a generic D&D world with DESERT right next to FOREST right next to UNNAMED OCEAN.

>>20685026

Maybe repeating crossbows? They're shit against any better armor, but they could be useful. Otherwise normal crossbows. There's a reason why they were outlawed in Christian Europe against Christians during the Middle Ages.

>>20685026
I wonder if we can find Uranium or Plutonium.
Though the latter would likely never be discovered, due to the fact that even retardedly low amounts of it in the air will kill.

While earth is too pussy to run with nuclear energy, we shouldn't have such objections. The biggest issue would be keeping the non-peaceful applications a secret and creating the turbines.

I think it would be fun if the dwarves found titanium.
Titanium burns before it melts. Will be fun to explain to them that they need a vacuum.

I guess that's something where magic will help quite a lot.


Anyone know about aluminium?

>>20685093
On earth, it's the most common metal you can find. Refining it is a stone cold bitch though, as you need to electrolyze it, or use the Hall-Heroult process. Besides, it's a soft metal, so I'd count it of limited use for most medieval purposes. Besides, without access to the internet, we'd need a certified expert to even have a hope of refining it.

Just use a permanent feather spell on steel. Much easier.

>>20685070
You want to try containing that shit safely? Be my guest, just do it a long-ass way from here. And downwind too.

>>20685093

Find bauxite, acquire aluminium. That's all I know.

>put through first post
>writing second post
>404
>lose the progress of the second post
Crap. Writing some things down in Notepad, but I probably won't post anything before I go to class.
>4chan posting error shenanigans
Well. This can't be good.

>>20685149
You ain't alone, friend. Someone archive this fast. If some mod's getting trigger-happy, I don't want to lose this. Especially OP's story. I got mentioned! That does so many lovely things for the shrivelled ego.

>>20685093
Well, normally you can find it in those rolls...
maybe we have to search a cylindrical mountain or something like that...

>>20685184
Done.
Normally I'm opposed to profilactic archieving, though.

>>20685184

You were who in the story? I'm new around here, give me some ropes.

>>20685184
Eh...if only I still had a ego...

>>20685207
He's the [nope] guy, because he doesn't want to state his name.

>>20685184
>implying the foolz archive doesn't exist

Quick question. Why did the wizard send us here in the first place? My guess is a social experiment of a sort. What would happen if a bunch of fa/tg/uys got transported to another world, that kind of thing.

Either that, or he did it for shits and giggles.

>>20685237
Either way, we killed him in blind rage after a mind control attempt to calm us down.
Turns out that guy was autistic.

File: 1347384964456.gif-(23 KB, 600x263, wizards.gif)

>>20685237

>every reply ever

File: 1347384995740.jpg-(100 KB, 834x600, 1322384740756.jpg)

>>20685248
That also explains why no one can read his notes.

>>20685237
Also, what about local fauna? we're surronded by manticores and shit?

>>20685068
Issue with crossbows is lower range and rate of fire. They can be used by un-trained scrubs though, which is why the French and their peasant armies loved the hell out of them. The Welsh longbow and bodkin arrows used by the English won every archery duel it had with the French crossbowmen, not to mention making the knights quake in terror. The issue of it was that it required a lot of practice and strength to use, so most medieval armies just decided, "Man screw that. Just spam the peasants with crossbows; much cheaper and easier."

>>20685207
Sir [Nope]. Never changed my name, but I'm not giving out my real identity on /tg/. Scroll through sup/tg/ archives a bit. I can scarcely believe /tg/ made something so awesome out of so generic a premise, but my next DnD character is totally being as close to a Knight Harem as I can get.

>>20685260
This reminds me:
Did we manage to do indoor plumbing?

Now I want us to have a pimp-ass aqueduct.

>>20685264

If you never state a name for the journal entries you wrote I'm totally writing you in as Sir Nope.

>>20685281
Still looking forward to that novel that was supposedly in the works. Hell, if it's good enough, I'd donate for that shit.

Fuck it, I'll use Sir Andrew from now on. Was born on St. Andrew's day after all and it's my dad's middle name.

>>20685264

It's not like you're giving your real identity when you call yourself "Sir Bearington" or "Sir Henderson"


Also, I find the whole concept of Teegee so idealistic. A small, rather democratic country, led by adventure-lust and love to things considered unnatural. Harem Knights (at least from what I've understood) do not want to be rich, powerful or feared. They do not desire to acquire new lands or vassals. They don't want to wage war of aggression.

They just want to spend their lives with their waifus.

Add economical freedom in this small kingdom and I'm all yours.

>>20685306
We basically steamrolled all of society in this new world. Our whole being is offensive to them.
So, basically, we are liberating everyone by being perceived as huge-ass dicks.

>>20684997
The Serridian spy tied the report he had been working on for the past days to the leg of his messenger falcon. The Caliph would be most satisfied with the contents of this letter, he thought. Despite their strange ways and technologies, Ahelub realized the weakness of Castle Waifu, a weakness that would eventually crumble the walls of this town. What would these Harem Knights do when the Serridians held the edge of a blade against the necks of their beloved Waifus? Their love for these beasts was going to be their undoing, if not by the Caliph armies, by the hand of any other empire. He started to think. If Ahelub could fin d away to kidnap somebody close to Fatwelder or even "Big Mek" Jim perhaps they would reveal to him the secrets of the gunpowder. Yes. Not a bad plan. He was about to free the falcon when he heard a voice at his back.

- So it was you -the Outrealmer accent was quite clear in the silence of the night. So were the growls of the beasts surrounding Ahelub-. I guess it's no surprise; you couldn't sell a slightly used camel for shit.

Then the Kanin attacked. The spy never had a change, soon blood reached the boots of the Hound Master. One of the creatures brought the dead falcon to the feet of Dythier. He smiled and caressed her face. That's what happens for underestimating TeeGee. He turned back and left, followed by his faithful Waifus.

>>20685327

Oh, then nevermind.

Still, you have economical freedom in there, no?

>>20685341
The freedom is the offensive part.

>>20685344

Fuck yeah. I'll make manufactures producing shoes and pants.

Flood the kingdoms with cheap goods.

>>20685327
I'd even go as far as saying that romantic love could easily go against almost every tradition in this world. Castle Waifu is the center of a romantic revolution that somehow included having sex with monsters. But hey, what are you going to do?

>>20685367
And then /tg/ was the free state of China.

>>20685437
Imagine if a nation appeared out of nowhere in our world and didn't give a fuck about nuclear weapons.
It's likely that it would be able to conquer most of earth without anyone attempting to nuke them. No sane person would actually use nuclear weapons. It's just the fear that someone might be not quite sane that stops everyone from fighting.

And we broke the game by not being xenophobic.

>>20685468

F-filthy xeno, it's not like I like you or something!

Anyone mind if I dump what I've written? I can't promise quality, story or romance in any decent quality. In fact I can't promise you anything except TL;DR.

Anyway, without further ado:

You want to know what I do? I’ll admit most Harem Knights don’t walk around looking like an Elven Lord and introducing themselves as ‘Lord Fey The Elf’ but I might as well tell you as I wait for my partner to arrive. Take a seat- this might take a while.

>>20685468
How much will it last? differences will accumulate one generation after the other, and someday everything will go back to speculation and xenophoby.
that's how humanity works. injecting human genes and values in other species, you'll make them more similar to us...both in good and bad behaviour.

>>20685533
Anyway, as I’m sure you are well aware. We kind of ended up with a minor political problem thanks to a mixture of misunderstandings, fear and slight problems in communication. The Elves, it turns out are not the most welcoming when it comes to ignorant humans treading on sacred ground- which is to say anyone anywhere- and our alleged policy of ‘It’s not murder if it’s an Elf’ didn’t win us any favours in that department when we ended up a small war with those Fey Vagabonds.
So shortly after we managed to get established and started to send out adventurers, me and some of the other elegant gentlemen who had felt most worried about the sad state of affairs with our close neighbours decided to venture out into the land of the Elves on a diplomatic mission of peace. We might not be slaying dragons but, behind love of course, I would say that peace is one of the greatest treasures a man can have.

>>20685549
Sadly, it turns out that despite any noble intentions we may have had the Elvish word for ‘Human’ is remarkably similar to their word for ‘Monkey’ and so our diplomatic mission struggled to make much headway since no matter what knowledge or wisdom we held our noble hosts viewed us as akin to a travelling circus. Unfortunately for us, whilst we were amusing enough to avoid execution for our humanity, we weren’t so jovial that the Fey changed their view on humanity as a whole. Disheartened, we returned to TeeGee with nothing to show for our troubles other than a tapestry one of our number had stolen after being informed that it was ‘too great an artistry for the eyes of humans to view’ and a gaggle of Elven women who a few of our number had apparently seduced by vigorous ear rubbing.
By the time we had arrived home the land of TeeGee had swollen in population and many of us quickly lost interest in our hopeless cause in favour of heading to these new lands to meet more exotic beauties that we now saw roaming our streets.
I, on the other hand, headed to an overcrowded in to try to forget that a species as full of itself as the Elves could have survived for so long. And that is when I met her. A Mimic by the name of Vi Lorit had seen my group arrived and was interested why a group of Harem Knights such as ourselves could return from an adventure to distant lands so glum and with such a small camp following. Whilst I was reluctant at first to inform her the offer to pay for my drinks whilst I did quickly loosened my tongue and soon she was listening attentively to me whine about how the only way we’d have had any hope of affecting Elvish opinion was if we claimed to be Elves.

>>20685560
“Well, why don’t you?” Vi asked, motioning for the kitsune bar tender to pass another pint along. “I bet I could make you look reasonably like an Elf with a bit of magic- and given how much the Elves love their stories I’m sure if you claimed to have been raised by Dwarves or something they’d overlook the occasional mis-step.”
Sadly for all involved I was far too drunk to see through this obvious ploy to get me gutted by some annoyed Fey lord and by the time I’d recovered from my hangover enough to realise that I was indeed sleeping half a days walk from the Elven border accompanied by a disgustingly cheerful Dwarf claiming to go by the name of ‘Vi Lorit’ who repeatedly assured me that if things went badly she could fix my ears if ‘The Plan’ didn’t work out. Despite my reservations my Mimic ‘friend’ convinced me (with the aid of some additional alcohol) that being this close the border, we might as well see if the Fey would buy that one of their number had been raised by their Dwarfish foes and had returned to seek his true birthright as an Elven Lord.
Needless to say, by the time we reached the border I was truly ‘Mining with the wrong axe,’ as I assured the Elven border guards that the Dwarves said. Depressingly, despite never having seen an actual Dwarf in my life my Fey ‘countrymen’ not only bought my tale of being raised by Dwarves as true but they even bought my blatant lies about having rose to power amongst bearded ones- for as an Elf I was truly a world more competent than actual current leaders- only to be overthrown by a Halfling Conspiracy. Allegedly the Halflings had convinced the Dwarves I was in fact a dragon in disguise and had stolen vast amounts of Dwarvish wealth to add to my horde. Thus I had to flee to my ancestral homeland with the only Dwarf still loyal to me- a cheerful young lass by the name of ‘Tirol Iv’.

>>20685562
Anyway, long story short I’m the reason the Elves are in open war with the Dwarves and as my day job I get drunk and assure Elves that TeeGee is totally not important to the larger scheme of things and that the Dwarves really did have a Elven King named ‘Cacame Awemindale’.
Talking of people who lie too much, I can see Vi approaching. And by the looks of that drink she’s holding I’m certain that she’s going to suggest that I do something I shouldn’t. I’m sure you have something better to do than hear her next scheme, why don’t you leave us alone for a bit? I’m sure you’ve got more interesting things to do than watch me do something stupid.

>>20685533

Screw you man, I still don't have balls to write something about being a cook and flirting with a bartender from pub next door.

>>20685567
...And I just noticed that I didn't do paragraphs correct. Sorry about that. Anyway, anyone got critisim?

>>20685567
We seem to be a bunch of bumbling fools who stumble from one adventure to another.
We've got insane engineers, socially retarded heroes and all kinds of other people, and every last one of them is a fool of some kind.

>>20685592
It's pretty good.
Some sentences seemed to not make sense, though, or at least were hard to understand.

>>20685592
You mean besides, "Oh gods, my sides, that's fucking brilliant?" Not really. /tg/ is so endemically batshit bonkers that it only makes sense someone would end up doing this!

I think I've got some time for a bit more writefaggotry before I have to run Civilization Quest... Time for another perspective on the inner workings of Teegee's council... Then maybe another time, a view from one of the other elven nations, one of the ones NOT ruled be a 'Totally-an-elf-raised-by-dwarves-guv-honest'.

Priceless.

> Edited to make the time frame fit better.

Extract from the journal of Sir Andrew
4th day of Sun's Height, 2nd year after arrival

Gods take the council and all the fools on it! I always said organising roleplayers was like herding cats; drunk, stupid cats and it seems ending up in a fantasy world has done nothing to change this! I wish everything ran like it did in the early days. Then, everyone knew what to do and DID it. Our very lives depended on it, in fact! Now we've got political parties, of all things! I had to restrain myself from leaping out of my seat and slapping the stupid out of a few of the more annoying members of the council. Thankfully, physical short-sightedness is far more prevalent than the metaphorical variety, for now. After the meeting, I contemplated making a motion to put Sir Giovanni in charge, as a sort of president, or elected lord. His position as Knight Commander makes him a little unsuitable however. Still, I fear unless some method of directing everyone is found soon, we may yet devolve into political infighting. Maybe some form of dual government? With an elected head from the council and the Knight Commander serving as a check against his (or her) power? I'll have to refine it before presenting the idea to the council, but most of them are Americans; a system with at least some element of democracy should be an easy sell.

On another note, we had a visitor to the castle today. Ahelub el-Izir of Serrid seems a civil enough man and a very canny trader. I'm not sure though; there's something oily about him. Maybe I'm just being too cynical, but it's never failed me in the past.

Note: Definitely oily. Asks far too many questions to just be a merchant. Likely modern media and meme culture prepared us for more insidious methods. Seems harmless at the moment. Must find a knight to keep an eye on him though.

I'd like to write something, mainly because I'm bored, but on the other hand my English ain't really that pro.

Sooner or later I'll start writing something, that's for sure.

>>20686047
Are you me?

>>20686082

Only on Tuesdays.

>>20685970
>Note: Definitely oily. Asks far too many questions to just be a merchant. Likely modern media and meme culture prepared us for more insidious methods. Seems harmless at the moment. Must find a knight to keep an eye on him though.
Ok, that's kind of hilarious.
Imagine going to a marketplace, where all of the advertisement methods just don't affect you anymore because you have been bombarded all your life by the refined science of modern ads.

>>20685567
Fey, you have done what I could never. Even so much as stepping foot on Elf land without a sword ready would get me beheaded. I'm sure they already have stories of my barbarity or some such over there. Actually, ask about that, would you? I'm sure it would give me a good laugh!

Okay, got quite a pile typed up in Notepad. Incoming.
Day 3
Well, I have a dozen steno pads in my bag here, might as well put them to use. I figure keeping a diary of some sorts will at least help keep me sane. For posterity, I suppose I should start with the beginning.

In what I will now refer to as my previous life, I was a freshman pre-engineering student. I had just gotten back to my dorm from my Pre Calculus class and was looking forward to some /tg/. Perhaps a good That Guy thread or something. I stumbled upon a monster girls thread that appeared to have some chocolate elves of various flavors. Well, why not? I opened the thread and it was there I saw an image I had never seen before, a Native American style elf. Here I'd thought I'd seen them all. Apparently not, so I opened it up. Next thing I know I'm in a strange new land with only my school bag and my clothes. Around the general area I could see others of various shapes and sizes, mostly larger than I, also wearing clothes I determined to be out of period considering the surroundings. I've been told several times that one of my greatest characteristics is how remarkably unremarkable I am and it certainly came into play here. At least, if anyone noticed me it never came up. With some eavesdropping, I discerned that other people had all done something similar, monster girl thread, opening an image, suddenly here. The image seemed to vary depending on the account, but there was one thing clear to me. I was surrounded by possibly hundreds of people from /tg/.

I chose a direction and NOPEwalked my way right on out of there. So help me I would not be caught dead in the company of the denizens of 4chan.

>>20686382
After a lot of walking, I stopped to take inventory of my things. I recall doing exercises like this in boy scouts, except those always put us in Maryland or a desert in Arizona or somewhere that existed.
School bag.
Dozen steno pads.
Dozen mechanical pencils.
Two pens, blue and black.
Sharpie.
Pre Calculus book, depending on how advanced the math of this place is it might give me an edge.
Bottle of water.
Pocket knife. University policy may have had a problem with it(had they ever found it), but to me Rule 9 trumps that.
Wallet.
Mostly empty tube of Carmex. Won't last too long, but I'm sure it'll save my life.
Phone. Probably won't be able to charge it, can't get a signal.
Keychain. Keys might not be any good, but there are a couple of small lights on there that might help.
Extremely comfortable pillow. Not essential but I'm sure keeping it. It's too comfortable.
U/G self mill MtG deck. Figured I might need it somewhere in day-to-day university life. Guess not.
Having had enough of a break, I continued on my way. Thankfully, I found a small village just after nightfall. Walking through this forest at night was not something I was keen on doing. I found my way into some building with a lot of hay and crashed there. When I woke up I found myself moving. I was on a wagon or cart or something with the hay I had slept in. Curse my heavy sleeping. That brings me to now, my third day here. My water is empty and I am quite hungry. I'll have to do something about this soon, but am not sure how to feel about leaving the relative safety of whatever it is I am riding.

>>20686402
Day 4
Well, looks like I didn't hop ship after all. We came to a stop in this nice grassy plains kind of place. It looks like how Garrison Keillor would describe Minnesota.
Crap, there's no telling how many episodes of Prairie Home Companion I'm going to miss.
Regardless, it was this nice open place, quaint like a ranch or something. Soon after we stopped there were some voices, some male some female, and suddenly I'm looking at a guy and some kind of woman. Something seemed off with her, she kinda looked like a cow. She even had a tail and ears like a cow. They exchanged some harsh words, he had no idea who I was, and he ditched me there. Other women had come out to watch the show, they all looked like cows, too. I was fairly tripped out at this point out of hunger, thirst, and, you know, seeing cow women. After being left behind by someone who obviously never learned "bros b4 hoes," some of these chicks started looking at me rather hostilely. The one who had been arguing with the guy snatched me up, held my arms behind my back, and walked me over to this barn looking place with even more cow women.
Oh, it's worth noting that yes, they all have large tits. I suppose being a lover of DFC in life has come back to kick me in the nuts.
They started talking about me, saying nasty things. Not all of it was in English, just a good chunk. "Spy" and "assassin" came up a couple times and then one of them finally approached me. The rest I can't even begin to describe. There were some grunts and even some moos in there, but the other sounds are beyond my capabilities. She asked me why I was here. I was pleased at the opportunity to defend myself. So I told them of my plight, being ripped from my home and being dropped into an unfamiliar world.

>>20686434
Or at least I wanted to. Turns out not drinking anything for about a day leaves you with a very dry mouth and throat, which means less talking and more dry wheezy rasping with some coughing. I guess they knew what was up with me because one went and got me some milk. I had looked at the milk for a bit, I was never fond of regular milk. I'm a chocolate man. Still, better than nothing, so down it went. It's pretty good stuff. So then the questioning resumed. They wanted to know who I was.
I told them to call me Jay Dubya.
They wanted to know why I was there.
I told them I was avoiding some people and slept on some hay. Few days later here I am.
They wanted to know where I was from so that if I were fortunate enough to be returned they would know where to deposit me.
I asked, "Got a place called Texas?"
The confused looks that drew told me I'm not in Texas anymore. Definitely not Kansas. California's still a possibility. The one questioning me wasn't happy with my answer, so she asked again, but much more angrily.
I told them I'm not from here, I've been dropped here in a world foreign to me.

>>20686467
That sparked some anger. Many more accusations of my being a spy from, and I'm only guessing how this is spelled from the way they said it, Murthterruh. I guess that's where I am, huh? Well, turns out they were so displeased by my answer they actually locked me up in this place. Not a cell, more like a room where the door is locked, or so I assume. There's a couple windows, some hay. They let me hold on to my stuff, but I'll not be trying an escape, don't want to antagonize them any more. Maybe if I play nice, be good, and push my luck into my smile and my voice I can get through this. So here I am, writing away. They gave me some corn recently, so the hunger pains are mostly gone. Got some more milk, too, stuff's pretty good.
Wait. Wait. These are cow people, and this is milk. Is this...oh my. Hoo boy.
I guess they're still discussing what to do with me. They'll probably be back any

>>20686493
Day 5
Well, looks like they're convinced I'm not trying to rob them or kill them. Turns out my clothes, which are getting rather ratty and nasty now, along with my strange belongings managed to persuade them that I'm from nowhere near here, thus I shouldn't be a threat. I still get some wary glances, but at least I'm not being held in a room anymore.
Oh, yeah, so the door to that was actually unlocked. Someone got scolded for it. I'll just take it that not trying to escape got me some bonus points. Anyways, they're lending credence to my story of not being from here and taking a degree of pity on me. Most of them, at least. Part of the terms of my release is that I'll be living with one of the families here, the mother of which goes by the name of Belen. She has two sisters living there, can't remember their names, I'll write them down later, and each of them have a daughter. Belen's daughter is Rilen, the middle sister's daughter is Poltia, and the youngest's daughter is Annya. Well, at least one of them is really easy to remember. They're all about my age, just slightly younger than me, yet the only one shorter than me is Annya. I'm still not quite used to it yet. Had dinner with them, some kind of fish along with carrots and corn. Apparently, tomorrow they start putting me to work, which isn't unreasonable, I am bumming here. Might as well keep a running tally of what I know about these folk.

>>20686534
What I know:
Holstaurus. Cow people.
Only seen females so far. If there are any males, no clue where they are.
Milk is a pretty big deal here. Looks like this is how they make their way in the world. Have yet to confirm where it comes from. Hoping I'm wrong.
The world around us is definitely lower tech than I'm used to.
Murthterruh seems to be the name of a nation rather than the world. Kingdom of men kind of deal, nothing new. I will not be amused if they refer to their leader as a God Emperor.
The Holstaurus seem to just be humans with cow features. Ears, tail, hooves, some fur, small horns, even. They also appear to be bigger than average humans, likely with some extra muscle mass. There's no way I'm taking any one of them on.

Well, looks like I'm just stuck here for now. But maybe that's not so bad. Whatever the case, I need to figure out how to shave this crap off my face. Not gonna turn into one of those neckbeards, no sir. Really hope I don't have to try shaving using a blade from my pocket knife, that doesn't seem like it'll work too well. Don't even know how I'd begin doing something like that. Angle the blade and slide it down my face?
Note: figure the logistics soon.

>>20685676
So I need to proof read? Thanks, I'll try to remeber that next time I writefag.

>>20686210
Knowing Elves any stories based on you will either have replaced you with some noble Elf showing all those silly non-Elves why they should respect the Natural Order of things (that is, worshiping Elves and mourning ones own lack of pure Fey heritage) or grossly exagarated tales of what a horrible monster you are for not worshiping Elves.

Fey Egotism is quite a thing. Think that old HFY people used to complain about but without the good parts and even more of the 'aliens' realising they are inferior in every way..

>>20686556
Anyways, that's as far as I've gotten. Thinking about shooting it up weeks at a time from there.

Any more going up any time soon?

>>20685306
Well, phat lewt and waifus are par for the course when it comes to ADVENTURE! And that was what I thought was the unifying element behind Teegee, adventure and waifus. The aggressive expansion comes from them just throwing ourselves at the nearest ruin or dungeon, endearing the locals to them, and romancing exotic fatasy babes. Harem Knights be livin it up, man.

>>20686740
You mean as far as writefaggotry? I was planning on writing up something short for later tonight, but besides that I just help out newcomers.

>>20686740
>>20687024

Maybe I'll write something tomorrow, if the thread will be around.

File: 1347397422345.gif-(10 KB, 125x125, 1337144657949.gif)

Was reading this at work today fellow sirs and was probably going to writefag up later if the thread is still around. Thanks for giving me some awesome stories to make me feel like writing again.

A Sunbro for your help.

Well, Perhaps I can squeeze off another segment. Got part of it written up already

Five years ago, if you had asked me what I would be doing now, I would probably rattle off a short list of jobs I had taken interest in. One job that would not have been on that list is "schoolteacher". Yet it seems my vocation was chosen for me. With waifus come children, and with children come the need to learn. The parents needed someone to give their children an education, and apparently I fit the bill. And so began my duties of reciting information to an audience much more interested in playing games and sweets. Though the sweets (or the promise thereof) do tend to be an effective motivator.

Some of the patents have become interested in my lessons, as well. I have to say, I much prefer discussing the sciences with someone whose first priority isn't sugar. Other teachers have been hired as well, due to the growing number of students. I have the most experience, so it seems I may end up as the de facto principal in the coming years. As long as they're learning as a result of my tutelage, I'm happy.

>>20687271
The idea of knowledge being lost makes me sad.

>>20687322
If anything, our arrival should result in a leap in science, as well as philosophy and politics.

There is no chance in hell I'm ever going to run anything similar to Castle Waifu for my players but I'm curious, /tg/, what could be a good system to run such a chronicle? Blue Rose's T20? Savage Worlds? Pathfinder?

>>20687453
I'd imagine anything, preferably rules light for potential antics, so long as it's in a standard swords and sorcery setting.

>>20687453
FATE!haha!

>>20687453
If I were to run it, I'd just use DnD 3.5 to be honest. I don't have a lot of experience with a lot of different systems though. I prefer to focus on just a handful.

Also, I'd really like to type more; I like the idea of looking at Teegee and the knights from an outside perspective, but I have a quest thread to run. If it's still alive tomorrow and I can find time, I'll do something then.

All right, here's one for y'all.
Pronounce Kanin. Go.

>>20687795
Canon.
Cannon.
Kane-in.
Can-in.

>>20687795
"Kanin". like "cane" or "canino".
I'm italian, duh

>>20687795
Kah-nin or Kan-in
Kay-nin would probably be closest to its canine roots, but Kah-nin or Kan-in just seem to roll off the tongue better.

>>20687795
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0IsT7tVpzLf

>>20687795
Basically the same as Caanan.

>>20687904
Oh man.
oral-told stories when?

>>20687875
>Kah-nin or Kan-in just seem to roll off the tongue better.
You got a weird tongue.

>>20687927
>monstergirl Shiki
I want it

File: 1347402854275.jpg-(66 KB, 600x799, Commish__Singing_knight_b(...).jpg)

>>20687951
Are you kidding? We have something way fucking better than stories:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0HpxwOQLv8T

Fearghaile, we don't deserve you.

>>20687951
Well there was this one time when I-
Wat you meant orally TOLD stories?
Very well then, disregard everything I just said.

Another thought I had. What would the later generations look like? Are the second generation hybrids even fertile? If so, I imagine the average citizen of Teegee a few hundred years hence would have subdued features from several races. Thoughts?

>>20688079
Chaos Spawns bonanza!!

>>20687993
>5/10 singing voice better than oral stories

>>20688148
If it was accompanied by some simple arpeggios it would sound much better. And there are probably better singers in /tg/ anyway.

>>20687993
>>20687951
>implying we wouldn't just write books

>>20688079
I always imagined magic fuckery would make it to wear children inherit the race of their parent genders, with maybe slight influeces from the other race. For example, human male and female lamia would beget human sons and lamia daughters, but the sons might be taller and more flexible than the average human and the daughters might be stout for a lamia. So yes, chubby lamias are most likely the result a human/lamia couple.

You could always switch it up and do the opposite, too, wither father -> daughter and mother -> son. Just for shits and giggles.

>>20688183
I feel like I have missed a lot, can someone give me a brief summary of what's going on and how I could get involved?

You know, where we are in the story currently and character constraints. I tried reading the first thread, and got very confused.

File: 1347404081017.jpg-(52 KB, 337x367, ...What.jpg)

>>20688183
>Half-elf Half-Dwarf chick

OhsweetmotherofgodIwantthis.jpg

>>20688079
I mentioned in an earlier thread that half breeds resembled the mother, but tended to have slightly subdued features. A half-Felim is still obviously a Felim, but the ears are a tad more tapered than normal.

>>20688266
Well, it would be more like 99% elf, 1% dwarf chick or the other way around. So you would wither have a dwarf gal with a thinner waistline or an elf gal who could get pretty damn buff.

File: 1347404347674.jpg-(31 KB, 534x424, 1347403471124.jpg)

>>20688266
>multiethnic families.jpg

>>20688255
Read the second thread, things get much more refined there, including a bit of talk about that, if I recall.

>>20688266
I believe the word you're looking for is "human".

File: 1347404614452.jpg-(361 KB, 1009x1300, 1331599871477.jpg)

>>20688255
Long story short, a bunch of fa/tg/uys got zapped to a fantasy realm and built a polygamous knightly order based around booze, bros, and waifus.

The Harem Knights base of operation is Castle Waifu and the surrounding Waifu Town, in which reside the knights and a large number or monster/fantasy race girls reside. Much funding comes from raiding dungeons, which are strangely abundant, again, probably due to wizard fuckery.

Most stories are self contained pieces about the individual knights or the natives and their reactions to the strange order, sometimes in journal entry format.

It generally keeps a lighthearted tone and is set in a generic high fantasy world. If there is an existing Harem Knight that you'd like to mention/cameo, that's generally acceptable.

I left my workshop in the stewardship of Sir Andrew and Big Mek Jim, two men I know can be trusted to use the workshop and the tools I decided I wouldn't need, I've decided to take the oxy torch, a small assortment of tools made on this side, hammers, shifters, a few clamps, spanners and even a small collection of crude screwdrivers, though production of screws with any kind of standard thread has eluded me.

>>20688255
I'm here since the beginning, and I'm still confused.
its normal. well, I hope...

>>20688438
But it is time to set out! I plan to visit the dwarf mountain holds, to see if I can learn a little of their secrets. The few dwarven runes explained to me so far would be invaluable, although Not in the production of firearms.

The lack of gunpowder readily available is a mixed blessing. Castle Teegee can be made nigh unassailable with creative use of present technology and magics.

>>20688464
Cannons, guns, even blacklisted rifles would turn the castle into a mausoleum. The walls simply aren't thick nor Strong enough to withstand such bombardment, a firm argument against developing such technologies even before taking moral an ethical arguments into account.

>>20688491
As such, rather than destroy any documents pertaining to firearms or any other kind of modern ballistic weapon I left with Sir Andrew personally. Through his arguments in the council were often against my purpose, his reasoning was sound, and without him, it wouldn't even have occurred to me to try to install plumbing, but thanks to him, and a little bit of elven magic, we were able to install a few small communal washrooms/toilets.
Secure sourcing of water is an issue I leave to others, my experience in such things is relegated to open dams and lining them with plastic, practically useless.

>>20688436
Waifus, waifus. Reginald remembered days when waifu was simply a strange hope on the other side of a glass screen. Of course for him this dream was still unobtainable, but instead of a screen separating him from his dreams the waifus walked among him. Everywhere he looked elfish and neko girls went from market stall to stall, they worked in the farms, and helped in the forges.

When first hearing that they were establishing a knight order he had jumped at the chance. For years he had dreamed of adventure, dreamt of something more than his simple life of mountain dew and cheese puff. Alas it didn't turn out exactly how he envisioned.

>>20688678
He was called the mountain for a reason, back in the realm he had specially design a desk chair to fit his girth. A small fraction above seven feet and over three hundred pounds he towered over the others around him. When first meeting him a few traders had feared a giant stood in their midst.

Luckily he had simply been allowed to join one of the knights, to fight with his fellows. His armor's buckles strained against his bulk, nearly being able to contain his belly. Instead of a sword the forge workers had adhered a massive iron mass to the end of a stick. Reginald had named it the boulder. The boulder and the mountain. It would be a long time before he would be called the Lord of Earth.

>>20688735
During the battle of the forest, during the ransacking of the elven city he had been busy fighting off archers that hid among the trees. Others had already gone to bring together the elvish women, while Reginald had hunted among the trees, assuring his fellow's safety.

A few had run away, yelling of a giant in their midst. Who beard was red as flame and eyes shone with the anger of the gods. He didn't think he looked angry, far from it, the entire time he had been forcing himself not to soil his armor in fear.

>>20688079
If I may, I would like to postulate a theory.

We have already observed that inter-breeding with other species, while possible and indeed, to some, preferable, is often harder than with other humans. This is only to be expected, but logically, it should not work at all. The genetic structure should simply not allow it. It is reasonable them to assume some magical quirk of this realm's genetics is at work.

I would postulate that the progeny of a mixed-species pairing would in turn beget children based upon their partner. Human blood may be adaptive, but it sacrifices strength for this (naturally, this is conjecture, but from what we have observed, the common laws of dominant and recessive alleles does not apply in mixed-species pairings). Let us take an example a half-elf of either gender. If this half-elf were, in turn to mate with a human, the result would be another half-elf, as it would be, if it were to mate with another half-elf. If, however, this half-elf were to mate with a full-blood Elf, the child would be fully elven. The interesting bit occurs if the half-elf mates with a half-breed of a different pairing, such as half-felim. In this case, the union has a low chance of producing offspring, but the child would be a half-breed of the mother's species. On a final note, if the half-elf were, for example, to mate with a full-blood Felim, there is an even lower chance of conception, but the child would be fully Felim, the dilute human blood being over-whelmed by the Felim genetic structure.

I hope this helps to enlighten you to the topic of cross-species reproduction. It seems as likely an explanation as any, in light of any contradictory evidence.

>>20688790
Most of his time in the following months was spent heading into remote cursed caves and ancient runes to try and retrieve treasure to support castle Waifu. No one seemed to want to go with him, apparently he was too big for stealth, and too stupid for tactics. Months went by and he only took enough to reserve for himself a modest living in a room in castle waifu, spending his spare time in the sparing room. The rest of his spoils went to the knight order, even if he couldn't be happy it didn't mean others should't be.

Word came from the higher ups in the order, unfortunately he had never made it past page, apparently proper knights used swords and his maul did not meet requirements.

>>20688877
There was a dungeon that needed exploring. The last three knights who was sent there did not return. To the knights it had become knows as Rockglen, as it was contained in a massive grotto perches high atop a mountain. The higher ups didn't want to send anyone in the upper echelon of the knights order or someone who would be missed.

"Hey... Oi Reggy I'm talking to you!" yelled the leader of his unit, a small man that Reginald could not remember the name of.

"What?" asked Reginald, looking up from the book he had been reading.

"Gather your stuff, you're heading up to Rockglen. We're giving you a few of the Jibblies to carry back what ever treasure you find."

Dammit....

>>20688148
>>20688171
In my defense, I was more than a few in when I was singing that. Alcohol does more than a few funny things to a singing voice, and considering I had just come up with it on the spot, well...

>>20687993
You flatter me good sir.

>>20688960
Three weeks and a lot of lonely time on the road later Reginald looked up the sheer cliff towards the mountain top. While on the road many of the other travelers had looked upon him with fear, some whispered to each other something about the mountain. Reginald didn't care what they said, similar rumors had come to his ears before. Castle Waifu's resident giant. It didn't matter to him, as long as none of them attempted to direct him in search of valuable alchemical ingredients.


Climbing was hard work, especially while dressed in his heavy armor. The forge masters had used him as a guinea pig, testing exactly how much he could carry. His body had been draped in enough iron to crush a normal human flat. Pulling himself over the rim of the grotto he spied the castle. Spires stretched towards the roof of the cavern. Long dead bleached white trees formed a ghostly forrest towards the castle. Mist spilled over the edge, wafting past him and moistening his armor.

>>20689020
Walking towards the castle the mist became continually thicker, between the trees shadows danced and crept towards Reginald. This didn't exactly concern him through, wherever he went it did not seem that much could hurt him. Arrows splintered against his armor and spells ricocheted off his skin. Maybe they weren't exactly wrong about him being a giant, at least he was tough as one.

The iron gates of the castle loomed above him, there didn't seem to be an obvious way to open them. No matter though, around Reginald closed doors didn't stay that way for long. Hefting the hammer on his back he smacked it against the door. The iron grating bent inward, twisting around the head of his maul. More strikes bent the metal further inward, screeching groans filled the silent grove. Finally with a mighty blow the hinges crumpled on the ground...

Wait...

If he wasn't hitting the door any more why were there still screeching groans?

(also, for anyone curious this story will end with us acquiring ghost girl, if everyone is ok with that)

>>20689109
Only issue I have with the story is the assumption that a maul wouldn't be considered a worthy weapon for a Harem Knight. We're /tg/! Like we care if you prefer the fine art of smashing, instead of stabbing or chopping? Gotta remember, that whole business with the elves, most our weapons would have been rusty scrap, shivs, knives, or spears.
If I saw someone wielding a maul as a weapon, I'd jokingly call him Locksmith.

>>20689109
Everyone is entitled to their own waifu, Sir Reginald. So long as it isn't forced, we do not judge (with a couple of exceptions, like paedophilia. That shit's just wrong).

Incidentally, knights in medieval Europe more often used lances, halberds, hammers and yes, maces, than their swords. They were just more effective on the battlefield. Everyone on /tg/ knows, usually, the 'longsword' (more properly, the 'arming sword') was a backup weapon. It's just a really iconic one, like the Japanese katana, or the cowboy's six-shooter.

>>20689109
A few steps inside the castle Reginald found the corpses of three men piled in the center of the room. From the crests on their shields they seemed to be the three knights who had lost their lives in the attempt at taking the castle. Their faces had twisted into something resembling mortal terror, hair white and mouths agape in screams. He would have to bury them before he left, the honor of his fellows mattered above all else. Reginald turned his head, listing to the strange wailing that had continued ever since he had first hit door. Unfortunately each time he stepped on the floor he would cause loud clangs drowning out the moaning, though finally he got an approximate location. It was coming from the eastern wing. Every hallway seemed to have been done up by a DM who had watched Dracula far too recently, large musty red tapestries hung from the walls, and skulls seemed to be in abundance. Deeper into the castle he went checking all the rooms as he went. Empty bedrooms, torn bed sheets, and skeletons...

Lots of skeletons.

Reginald climbed a small mountain of bones in the middle of a hallway, femurs crunching beneath his feet.

As in a ridiculous amount of skeletons. And now that you mentioned it there seemed to be a lot of other cheap scares along the way. A lot of bats hanging from strings on the ceiling and other things of that nature. Reaching up to one of the web sticking in a corner Reginald realized that it was not actually real, instead it was made of cotton. What was going on here? Why was he in a cheap haunted house? In one of the corners a book case sat, pulling one of the books of the shelf Reginald blew the dust off of it.

"How to scare people for complete troll brains."

>>20689224
(I realize that in reality that swords were the back up, but we are a bunch of rpg dudes who got thrown into a fantasy world. The stereotypical becomes the dominant or what not, but I guess you're right)

There was only so much more hallway to go, far at the end the source of the eldritch wailing. To prepare himself Reginald stood wall, and subsequently scraped the top of his helm against the ceiling, throwing sparks onto the floor. With a sigh he hunched over again and pulled his maul to the ready. Creeping towards door Reginald became aware of the fact that the wailing was actually saying something, the undulating cries forming words. Listening more closely he could make out something.

"No no no no! I'm a good ghost, they weren't supposed to get that scared!"

Perplexed he tried another step forward, and realized that any idea stealth was completely lost on the situation. There was no way that the voice would be able to hear him over it's on wailing. Instead he barreled forwards, and kicked the door. In a shower of splinters he burst into the room beyond, pits of wood flew across the room. What he had come into seemed to be the back room at a hallowed store. Buckets of fake blood sat around, and fake hands skittered away from the sudden commotion. Looking around he saw on the walls posters, on which seemed to be rock stars, but instead of instruments they held various artifacts of the middle school haunted house arts. A half transparent man with a fake bat, another holding a rubber spider, and even a particular silly one with a pile of fake vomit. Casting his view around the room he caught site of the source of the wailing, a half transparent girl sitting in the corner. She sat with her face buried in her hands. Upon Reginald's destruction of the door her head whipped around, ghostly strands of hairs floating around her face.

All this tale-telling makes me want to tell the tale of how I met my first waifu, yes I have a waifu, many in fact, you probably actually know or at least have heard of a few. We just prefer to leave the other party (or parties) to their own devices outside the home, well, all except for her, but we'll get to that soon enough.
I digress, it was during one of my many adventures that I met her. I was traveling through a city on my way to who-knows-where (the name escapes me right now, I'll remember to ask her later) when I heard some rather violent coughing from an alleyway. Naturally curious as to the origin of this coughing (and the severe lack of impoverished people in the town) I decided to investigate. What I found was a girl, paler than a bleached skeleton and about as thin, wrapped in a tattered old blanket that had probably already begun to rot, coughing her lungs out (figuratively, but probably very close to literally) whilst huddled up in some dank corner. She didn't notice me for a good five seconds (which told me a good bit more about her health) and hen she did she gasped and quickly (or as quickly as she could giver her deplorable condition) lifted the blanket up to conceal her face. It was then that I got a good look at her hands and arms

File: 1347409961193.jpg-(200 KB, 920x563, 1322330168733.jpg)

Anybody want some half-bolds?

>>20688866
I would have thought that the trend of becoming the same species would have made them fully human when breeding with humans. Why do they become elves if half elves breed with elves, but not humans when breeding with humans?

>>20689477
Standing up the girl backed away against the opposite wall. For a moment Reginald thought she would pass through it, but instead the back of her head struck the far wall and she fell into a kneeling position, cradling her head. The moment the girl had had looked into his eyes Reginald had been overcome with a sickening nausea, from the pit of his stomach fear spread through his body. With effort he forced it back, and after a few deep breaths, stepped forward, his hammer held high above his head. Luckily the room's ceiling was much taller than the corridor before, and he actually managed to reach his full height.

"I am here to avenge my brothers of the Knights Harem. Three are dead and I demand equal numbers in penance. Stand and fight!" The girl looked up back into his eyes, ghostly tears streamed down her cheeks, and the most pale of pinks painted her translucent grey face. Her cloths consisted of nothing more than a rough ragged dress. This time at the sight of her she covered her head again, shaking it violently. The girl curled up into a ball hugging her knees, with her face buried between them. Faintly Reginald could hear her mumbling something.

"I said... I demand penance!" When the girl did not move but continued to mumble. Reginald was quickly losing steam, he had expected to come and knock off a few goblin heads, or something like that, not a small phantom. Letting his hammer fall to the floor Reginald came forward and bent down towards the ghostly girl.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it..." she whispered over and over.

And so Alesia, a knight or two and their companions set off with me, our mode of transportation a steel carriage, a crystal core powering the motion enchantment that spun the wheels Thai powered the tracks at the rear of the carriage, steering provided by a pair of steel wheels, although the carriage shouldn't be confused with halftracks or cars of the old world, I used thin steel sheets because, to my knowledge, we still have no way of creating aliminium, but I digress.

The carriage trundles away from castle Teegee with a squeaking, shuddering motion, somewhere between a horse cantering and a human sprinting, but it's slowness was made up by the fact that it carried us all, and our baggage with ease.

>>20689606
Simple. It's the weakened blood. No logical way to explain it, apart from just that. Humans can breed with anything, but that versatility means our genetics don't carry as strongly, for some reason. Don't ask me to science it; as I said, dominant and recessive alleles have decided to vacation in Hawaii for now...

>>20689634
By this point Reginald didn't know what he should do, so instead he lowered himself onto the floor, his armor clanking as he sat. The small girl certainly didn't seem dangerous, at least she wasn't trying to top his head off or something. Maybe he could resolve this without any more blood shed, of course if he was up against a ghost bloodshed wasn't exactly a possibility unless it was on his part.

"You didn't mean what?" asked Reginald, reaching out to pat the girl on the shoulder, unfortunately his hand passed right through, a numbing chill ran up his arm. Well, normal comfort wasn't going to work, of course the had never had that much human interaction to begin with. Maybe he should just talk to her, a reddening blush crept into his face. Talking to a girl? Both in this world and the old one he had only done this in the most extenuating of circumstances, and only when the situation demanded it. He always grew nervous when it was about to happen.

"I didn't mean to hurt them?"

"Who, you mean the knights?" asked Reginald, the small girl looked up back into face, the same pain crept into the pit of his stomach, but his time he was ready. Forcing it down he stopped from getting sick.

"All I wanted to do was scare them! Like a real ghost!"

>>20689542
Her hands (which are more appropriately described as claws) were covered in a bony carapace-like material, not at all that unlike what one would expect a triceratops' frill or shield-head thing or whatever you want to call it to be like. Her actual hands, as I previously have stated, were formed into demonic claws, which looked especially foul as if they hadn't been washed or groomed for years. In a coarse, terror-filled voice that sounded like it hadn't tasted any liquid for decades she asked me who I was and if I was going to beat her for being a "Filthy half-bred demonic whore". The second I heard those words come out of her mouth, I felt righteous anger bubbling up from the depths of my soul, fortunately, I managed to subdue by anger and explain to her that, no, I was not going to beat her, and I was merely a traveler who was curious about her coughing and the apparent lack of beggars in this town. Upon hearing this she relaxed her guard, if only a tiny bit, and lethargically began to explain that the reason there were no homeless in the town was because of the church-run welfare programs in the town, which had completely eliminated the beggar problem in the town. When I asked her why she was in such a sad shape despite all the supposed "public welfare programs" she told me this: she told me that she had been "kicked out of one of the orphanages when she was a baby for being a filthy demonspawn heretic, and had been forced to wander the streets since".

>>20689985
After another dreadful bout of hacking, she quickly added "Well, wandered, since it doesn't look like I'll be doing much of it anymore" like it was some sort of joke. My disdain with her for saying such a thing in such a lighthearted way was nearly palpable, and it became very clear to me that she could sense it after she added "well, it doesn't look like that will matter for long, considering that I'm going to die soon." in almost the same tone as her last statement. It was at this point that I was furious with this girl, Furious at her for giving up on life so easily, for taking all those years of abuse without a single word opposing it, for not trying to escape this hell of hers before it was too late. I was so furious at her that i simply said one thing to her before angrily storming off, and that was "Stay here, I'll be back".
Anyone reading this, or should I stop?

>>20690228
I'm reading during breaks in the soccer

>>20690228
You keep writing, I'll keep F5ing! You don't want me to have fractured my finger for nothing, do you?

>>20690228
Keep writing

>>20690261
F5? you obviously haven't noticed the auto update feature of the new inline extension

>>20689829
During the ride, we all shared our stories of our lives since we were ripped from our home realm, or how life had changed since the emergence of Teegee.

For my part I told the story of my first days in this realm, a story most saved for the annual celebratory feast, I cannot say why I chose that particular moment, having kept my silence for years, perhaps my sanity had slipped enough that I could contain the guilt, for During those first few days, I engaged freely in violence, being part of the mob that swarmed the one who dragged us here, and in that first war with the Elves, with a makeshift knife, I had stabbed, slashed, punched, kicked and bit in my frenzy, only when my fellows slaughtered the last surviving Elven males dis the haze clear from my eyes, and the memories of ending lives with such enthusiasm sickened me to my core, and from then I decided whilst I would make weapons, armor and tools, I would leave warfare to others, thats not to say I wouldn't defend myself, but rather that I would no longer actively seek fights.

>>20689892
"What do you mean a real ghost?" asked Reginald, in response the ghost girl sprung to her feet, actually leaving the floor for a moment to float along the ground towards the piles of costume pieces. Throwing them a few pout of the buckets she dug deeper until she pulled out a magazine. Across the front in large letters the word "BOO" shone out in bright orange.

"Like the ghosts in here! I can never scare anyone, no matter how hard I try. All I wanted to do was be like all the ghosts in here." The girl opened the book leafing through the pages. It looked like one of those teen magazines from back on earth, except the pages were covered with the equivalent of teen ghost pop stars. Many of them in the act of scarring mortals, finally she found the last page and pointed to an advertisement. It read 'Want to up your scare, buy fear tonic!'.

"I never was able to scare anyone as a kid, and my parents said i was a disgrace to the family name, so I bought that to try and help... I kinda bought too much." Point to a cover she indicated a pile of glass bottles nearly stretching to the ceiling. Reginald gimaced and walked over to pick one up.

"So how did those men die?" The ghost girl squirmed in mid air, floating a few inches off the ground, not wanting to look at Reginald. Eventually she began to speak, still looking the opposite way.

"They laughed at all the scary stuff... and they got to my room and saw me... and.... they just..." tears began to shell again in her ghostly eyes.

>>20690414
"They just stopped moving. You're the only one who it doesn't more on." Reginald thought back to the pain in his stomach.

"I wouldn't exactly say that." With a sigh he pulled himself back to his feet, putting the maul onto his back. "You obviously didn't mean to do this, and I can't just leave you here. You'll end up killing more people. You're coming with me back to the castle." Had he just invited a girl to be his traveling partner?

"But all my things!"

"I have pack mules to carry them, we can bring it all." No really, had he just done that? He had hardly ever talked to a girl let alone ask her anything. A tingle crept through his neck beard. A tingle ran up his spine, and a sudden sweat broke out against his skin. Maybe his springtime had finally come.

"Well... ok."

>>20690420
Hur Derr... mfw my story was a piece of shit. I'm not the best of writefags.

>>20690438
It's all good, I can't say mine is any better

Will this setting be expanded further or will there just be story after story?

>Control+f'd rape
>No results

Is there really no rape? At all?

>>20690484
Yeah, lets be incompetence buddies!

My ghost waifu and your.... not sure what to call it waifu!

>>20690517

The setting is noblebright. Some people wrote a story about murdering elf children. If you want rape, write it.

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>>20690517
We are above such ignoble and heinous acts.

>>20690251
>>20690261
>>20690262
'Kay
>>20690228
Now, back in the old world, I wasn't a medical doctor, or a doctor of any sort, but I did have enough knowledge to see that this girl was starving and probably had a nasty case of scurvy to boot. Naturally, I headed into the town's marketplace to buy her some new clothes, some freshly baked bread, apples, and ingredients for a good chicken noodle soup (which was all I could really make at the time). Being the stranger I was, I got plenty of odd or downright suspicious looks in he marketplace (but no more than normal for an adventurer, or so I'm told) but fortunately made it out of the marketplace unharassed. I quickly made my way back to where she was and eventually found her alleyway, despite getting lost more than once. As i rounded the corner of the street her alley was on, I saw a small gang of ruffians fleeing from her improvised home in the night. Suspecting something was amiss (and making a mental not of a few of the gang's general body shapes) I quickly ran to where she was, only to find her beaten and huddled up i the corner, weeping and in the fetal position while her only possession sat burning in a pile beside her. I walked down the alleyway after checking the streets to see if there were any stragglers, and coughed to get her attention. She second her brain had registered that there was someone else there she shot up like lightning bolt and started shaking with what I suspected was a cross between pure terror and sadness. I then said that it was me and that I told her I would be back. This caused her to relax a bit but it was painfully clear that she was still in full on defensive mode, despite my attempts to reassure her. I then nonchalantly set down one of the sacks of goods I had purchased (her clothes and food) next to her and began to work on dinner.

>>20690228
Well, if there's anything I've learned doing minor writefaggotry here and there, it's that you don't always(or often, really) get responses. You just trust people are reading and hope you entertained them.

Anyways, I'll get back to work on mine in a bit here.

>>20690522
Yes! The mad engineer Nd the mountainous knight! Along with freindzone elf and ghost waifu, traveling to the dwarf holds for adventure and technology!

>>20690693
*goes for high five and accidentally smash you into the floor*

>>20690651
FUCK I MESSED UP MY SPOILER
I'll retype the post here for your convenience
Now, back in the old world, I wasn't a medical doctor, or a doctor of any sort, but I did have enough knowledge to see that this girl was starving and probably had a nasty case of scurvy to boot. Naturally, I headed into the town's marketplace to buy her some new clothes, some freshly baked bread, apples, and ingredients for a good chicken noodle soup (which was all I could really make at the time). Being the stranger I was, I got plenty of odd or downright suspicious looks in he marketplace (but no more than normal for an adventurer, or so I'm told) but fortunately made it out of the marketplace unharassed. I quickly made my way back to where she was and eventually found her alleyway, despite getting lost more than once. As i rounded the corner of the street her alley was on, I saw a small gang of ruffians fleeing from her improvised home in the night. Suspecting something was amiss (and making a mental not of a few of the gang's general body shapes) I quickly ran to where she was, only to find her beaten and huddled up i the corner, weeping and in the fetal position while her only possession sat burning in a pile beside her. I walked down the alleyway after checking the streets to see if there were any stragglers, and coughed to get her attention. She second her brain had registered that there was someone else there she shot up like lightning bolt and started shaking with what I suspected was a cross between pure terror and sadness. I then said that it was me and that I told her I would be back. This caused her to relax a bit but it was painfully clear that she was still in full on defensive mode, despite my attempts to reassure her. I then nonchalantly set down one of the sacks of goods I had purchased (her clothes and food) next to her and began to work on dinner.

>>20690651
>>20690720

laughing_waifus.jpg

>>20690720
WHY CAN'T I SPOILER RIGHT?

>>20690741
Probably because you're putting in the starting tag twice.

>>20690345
As my story ended, one of the knights, deservedly titled 'the mountain' told the tale of how he had met his ghostly companion and I smiled widely as I operated the steering controls of the carriage.

(work calls!)

>>20689606
Because elvishness is a dominant trait.

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>>20690720
She was very clearly confused at first; never having experienced any form of kindness aside from being spit on instead of beaten and for quite some time there was an awkward silence in the air. Eventually though, she managed to muster up the courage to ask me what was going on. I explained to her that I was cooking her dinner and decided to buy her a few things that would "help her feel better" and that she should "quit her yappin' and get started eating".
We ended up talking for a while after the meal (which has since become her favorite thing to eat) and found out a bit more about each other (but I'm not telling any of you that because she's not comfortable with me telling other people about her) and became fast friends. The next few weeks I ended up spending in an inn in town, leaving during the daytime to take care of her wounds (and to find out a bit about the ruffians that caused them) and nurse her back to health. She recovered very quickly, being back up to full health in only a couple weeks, and there was no doubt the pricks who beat her noticed this, as her beatings were getting more and more severe. Unable to tolerate it anymore, I asked her to come with me back to Teegee and be my waifu. Unable to understand what I meant by "waifu" but ecstatic to be able to leave nonetheless, she quickly agreed to flee with me back to castle waifu and be my first waifu, but not before I got a chance to knock the guys who had been beating her all these years and brand the most obviously criminal symbol I could think of on their foreheads...

>>20689176
This. This Reggie guy seems awfully disliked and I really don't see how that would happen in Teegee.

>>20691039
Ad that my Friends, is the story of how I got my first of many waifus (If you're wondering why she's not depicted on my helmet, its because none of the smiths could get a good enough look at her to make the figure look right, that and one of my later waifus demanded that it be her on my helmet). And before you ask, No, I don't know what knid of demon her father was (her mom was definitely human, possibly of noble blood) but I highly suspect that he's either an obscure breed or a speshul snowflake demon whos the only one of his kind

>>20691095
Yet more interesting food for thought in the genetics topic. How could a demon be so certain of conceiving? Even with straight human/non-human pairings, the fertility rate is indeed impacted. Is it possible demons have some way of over-coming this? An interesting avenue of research, but I'll be damned (literally) if I'm going to summon a demon just to ask it about their sexual habits.

On another note, it's a little concerning, how many people take monster girl waifus... First, what's wrong with humans, (no offence to any non-humans), second, with the decreased fertility rates I mentioned earlier, we run the risk of breeding ourselves out of existence, if we don't keep some purestrain human genetic stock around... Bah, not like it's an issue. Quite a few of the order have harems, after all! It's in our name!

Write rape so I can fap to this later.

Thank you.
Linking me to elf rape is also perfectly acceptable.

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>>20691168
We're the exception, not the rule, when it comes to cross species loving. It's generally accepted that there are other human and non-human settlements, so there's no reason why we'd die out. Even if we couldn't produce half breed kids, we'd almost certainly get immigrants so long as our philosophy stays alive and our city is wealthy.

>>20691168
>First, what's wrong with humans
You think people who have only had access to humans their whole lives AREN'T going to branch out? Plus, human women might not take to a harem life as readily. On top of that, I imagine the villagers that are eventually annexed would still live regular villager lives, complete with regular villager wives.

>>20691168
As I've previously stated, I have several waifus, but I left most of them intentionally vague so other writes could flesh them out to suit their needs should they feel so inclined to include me in their story [endspoiler]

>>20691168
The problem with other humans is the culture shock. To the non-humans (or demi-humans, since crossbreeding is possible), we're just another group of strangly tolerant humies. The tolerance and white knighting that attracts them, is also the main point of contention we have with the local humans. Also worth noting that most of these stories are the first gen Outrealmers, within the first decade or two of arrival. There might be some human immigration, but between the aforementioned culture shock and the short time to build trust with strangers, it's likely to be limited, and often will include existing families immigrating. Not many options for adoption of waifus there.
In the end, human waifus comes back to the traditional method, go out and seek one.

Alesia told the final tale, one involving a comment that carried an accidental double meaning, one that saw me slapped by a taloned hand, though the offense has long since faded, the scars remain, my Elven freind concluded the story with a laugh at my expense, and I laughed almost as much, though more at the fact that Alesia had spent enough time amongst myself and my outrealm comrades that she had picked up our notion of gentle mocking for the sake of humor.

As the others fell silent, I piped up, singing half forgotten songs from the old realm, from 'you were made for loving me' to 'bohemian rhapsody' I even managed to get the entire carriage to sing 'tribute' and in high spirits we rolled along, at least until I had to halt the carriage to avoid hitting a man sat atop a horse in the middle of the road.

Oi, possible writefag, but I just gotta ask this one thing: If a monster is non-monstergirl and blatantly evil (torching villages, pillaging, abducting cows, salting fields, etc etc etc), are you going to throw a shitfit if it is hunted down and killed?

>>20691619
Were white knights, destroying evil is our job. You have my hammer!

>>20691470
As my hand gripped the latch for the cupola, several others emerged from the treeline, bows drawn.
Instead of opening the carriage, Alesia and the mountain drew the shutters to the rear compartment, and I put my hand to the trapdoor next to my seat, where I kept the crude pistol I had made in the days when I thought we would find a hidden cache of sulphur.
Three shells. In five years I had traded several full suits of enchanted armor for enough powder to make just three shells. Not enough to escape this encounter, even if the pistol didn't explode in my hand.

Instead I brought my hands back to the controls, the Carriage lurching forwards once more.

The sound of arrows slamming into the plates around us was damn near deafening, in a few places spiked tips pierced the plating, but no one was hurt, the mounted brigand maneuvered out of the way at the last second, swinging his sword as he did so, the blade smacking into the carriage with such a terrible crash I thought for a moment that it would tear through the steel.

But as he had moved, my mind was more occupied with the bird and blood drop brand that covered the left side of his face.

>>20691619

You have my blind devotion to the first Harem Knight, Gavran.

File: 1347419392774.jpg-(22 KB, 335x215, my bow.jpg)

>>20691640
and my bow

File: 1347419873559.png-(313 KB, 680x800, 1342084203989.png)

>>20691710
And my gubbins
Edit: can't find suitable gubbins, please accept golem prototype instead

>>20691710
You know TeeGee has an artillery core. We might even call our weapons basilisks.
...Actually, combined with the "steel wagon" Engineer Fatwelder built, that could work. Ballistas with blast shields, able to move under their own power. Depending on wieght limits, perhaps towing an ammo trailer behind it.

did ghost girl story not get finished?

>>20691834
i really could help with that, I have built a trebuchet before for my physics class. we had to launch a basketball 15 meters. most teams had catapults about 6 feet tall, mine involved a stolen telephone pole and I beams. it took the whole class to get it to stand up and they didn't let me fire it since it was deemed too dangerous (just setting it up nearly cut a guy's foot off)

>>20691834
Actually I use a 2000 pound draw siege cross bow as my normal ranges weapon...

File: 1347420622159.jpg-(206 KB, 1067x749, ornstein_the_dragonslayer(...).jpg)

>>20691640
>>20691803
>>20691710
>>20691705
Nice to see some support. You should have your writefaggotry some time tomorrow or on Thursday at the most.

Hopefully by then, one man's dream will come true.

>>20691933
Nah, it's the end of part one. Reginald, the Mountain has just convinced the ghost girl to come with him back to Castle Waifu. I'll do the next part on the next thread (will probably acquire another non conventional waifu)

All right, got a few more of these written up. I'm rather enjoying this journal/diary style.
Oh, and as far as cameos go, should I go and ask the person I'm looking to spotlight or should just go for it?

Day 10
Dear Diary,
I've been neglecting you lately and I'm sorry. Man, when did the whole "Dear Diary" joke thing phase out? I miss it.
Managed to get my clothes clean. Cleaner, at least. Don't quite have detergent. Bathing is also a bit weird. Too used to showers, never was fond of sitting in my own filthy water. Still, it's better than nothing. Come to think of it, life around the house it pretty weird. Didn't really interact with the rest of the family here very much my first night, but I've since learned that upper body clothing is really only worn out in the fields for warmth or protection against sunburn. Of course, since this is normal to them I'm the oddball for wearing my shirt inside.
I've been put to work helping out in the fields. Just general labor, life this, move that there, that sort of thing. Good solid work, quite tiring. I am far and away the weakest work-capable being in this settlement, so I turn out to be a disappointment here and there. I think most of them are beginning to warm up to me, though.

>>20692073
Might have something to do with the way I laugh off my screwups and just give it another go, but I think some of them just like my voice.
Back home, my voice was always my best feature. Every once in a while I'd have a stranger come up and tell me I should be in radio or I should be reading off the news or even get in to audio books. I quite liked those compliments, not sure how often I'll be hearing those again. Sad, I always wanted to give voice acting a shot.
Oh crap. With me gone, what does that mean for my nephew? I'm not there to stop his dad from turning him into a filthy casual. Crap.
I'm drifting too much, getting too distracted. This diary needs to serve as a means to preserve my sanity and give anyone who might find it some useful insight.
Belen just stopped in to talk. Gave me a knife, too. A good one, not something dinky like this pocketknife of mine. Maybe I can give myself a crash course on whittling.
Well Diary, it's about time to go help get dinner ready. Speaking of which, eating at a table with a bunch of topless women is a rather weird experience. It's like Super Hooters or something, except they're not trying to get me to give them more money by appealing to my primitive side.
Yours truly,
Jay
P.S. Jay is a rather nice name, don't you think? At the very least it's suiting.

>>20692088
Day 28?
Heck, I'm losing track of the days. That can't be a good sign. Annya is finally taller than me and she is just ecstatic about it. This has led to me catching some crap from some of the Holstaurus out in the field. It'll probably all blow over soon.
Today I met another race. Konnin, I was told. Something like that, I can only guess at how it's spelled. Dog people, it turns out. Apparently a few of the older Holstaurus could communicate with them and how that was possible is beyond me. Those dog people just bark and yip. Whatever the case, I managed to gather that some good business was done. Turns out dogs love milk. Well, that's only part of the story. I've learned that this whole continent loves them some milk, it's just that the dogs are good close trading partners. Not sure what we get from them.
Been practicing with that knife quite a bit. Took several bad and broken attempts, but I made myself a fork. It's not a very good fork, but hey, I made it. Tomorrow I'll be going with a group into a nearby town. It'll take a couple days, but I'm looking forward to it.
Oh, almost forgot. I was singing in the bath and caught the attention of some nearby girls. They seemed to enjoy it. Enough that they pulled me along to their house and I sang for their family.
Turns out that even in a completely different world that has never heard of the Beatles, their songs are still something enjoyable. Go figure.
Say, I wonder what my roommate's doing? He's the type to worry, I hope he isn't too freaked out by this. What will the university say? What will they tell my parents? Man, that won't go over well.

>>20692117
Day 31, I think
The trip was nothing like I expected. Good thing I didn't have to do any of the lifting, I wouldn't have made it. These women carried boxes of milk containers for miles. It took us the better part of the day to get to the town. They don't have a wagon, never have, either. The technology has been kept from them for as long as they know. That is some bullcrap. That's nothing too complicated, I can probably figure it out. Milk was lost in transit and there were many rest breaks due to the heavy carrying. The limited amount of milk they can bring limits their economic power to a degree. Being able to pull more in with less risk of loss will make life easier for the Holstaurus. I won't stand for this. I may not have been in university long enough to get any real engineering experience, but I am going to figure out how to attach two wheels to an axle and slap that on a big box.
Got some weird looks from the humans in the town, guess a human in the company of Holstaurus helping them out is a rarity. But you know what? Screw them. The Holstaurus were kind enough to not execute me and let me live with them, I'm going to even up the odds with their trading partners.

>>20691935
The important part isn't having artillery, it's being able to move and use it in ways the locals haven't thought of yet. Also, I'm a bit unclear about where the torque of a trebuchet would go, compared to a ballista. It is kinda important that I'm thinking more about mobile light artillery then I am mobile siege engines. In the latter case, this whole "steel wagon" thing will be of most use aiming, I think.

>>20691967
Funny story, I'm now thinking of some young dragon trying to attack TeeGee to liberate those lovely dragon damsels they've "stolen". Shenanigans ensue, or something. Pitty I'm a crap writefag, or I might try it.

>>20692171

Nay. Let it be known that I am the crappy writefag.

>>20692141
That's it for now. Probably get something figured out tomorrow some time. I need to spend some time thinking about how language changes in a maleless society. I would guess there's not much meaning associated with "brother" and only some with "father" or "uncle."

Does anyone know where I can find some bats? I just remembered that bat guano is supposedly a good source of sulphur

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You know, this setting is nightmare fuel when you realize that the last thing you left behind back on earth was your computer and all the tabs you left open before you got teleported.

>>20692204

Try the cave in the basement.

>>20692204
Big natural caves. Need to go a good ways in before the floor becomes bat guano, though.

>>20692204
Well there is that one guy and his dual batwaifus, but that would be creepy as fuck.

>>20692222

It's cool. If left alone for a bit, the computer will go back to the log-in screen, and nobody knows my password. They don't know the password to the other account either, so they would have to restore the computer completely to get on, meaning my secrets are safe.

And my external harddrive requires a password, too. They don't know how to get in.

The only thing that scares me is that they will find my fap sock.

>>20692204
We can find sulfur near volcanoes, and even hot springs.

We can get gunpowder with it, charcoal, and saltpeter, though I'm unsure of how to produce the latter.

>>20692240
Oh, and I should mention, bat guano that just sits there on the ground gets pretty slick. It's still solid, so it's not like you're wading through liquid crap, but moisture builds up on top of it and makes it fairly slippery.

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>>20692171
i think i know a way we can move large weapons that most locals haven't tried

>>20692204
You're thinking of Saltpeter (potassium nitrate).

>>20692673
Waifu powered artillery!

Spidergirl and centaur mounted mortars!

Harpy and batgirl bombers!

Panzer Dragoon Waifu!

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>>20692733
>Sending your waifu out into the battlefield
>Wanting to introduce gunpowder in anything other than to repel a massive invasion
Do you even chivalry?

>>20692673
Just as long as all dragons aren't waifu-material. Some of us have to writefag still...

>>20692769
Remember brother, many of us have waifus that would be more than happy to help us on the feild of battle, myself included (not the half-demon I mentioned earlier, a different one)

>>20692769
>he doesn't have a battlewaifu!
>laughingbattlewaifus.jpg

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So.... can I play along with you fine gentlemen?

>>20692850
Go right on ahead. Spill your writefag guts to the thread.

Guys, I've been thinking, what's going to happen when we die? Now everyone here knows for a fact that not one but many afterlives exist, given that any sufficiently powerful wizard can just port their way to them. What I'm wondering though is what's going to happen to US specifically? Where are we gonna end up? I personally wouldn't be opposed to trying to make out own demiplane that we can herd all the souls of our dead to. It certainly would make other things i'm trying to do easier...

>>20692915

When the first Harem Knight, Gavran, passes on, he will become the first god of the Harem Knights. He will represent booze, love, justice, and exploring. All Harem Knights will go to his domain with their waifus (when they pass), adventuring and loving for the rest of their unlife.

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>>20692915
>One day, you may have to leave your waifus behind on the mortal plane

>>20692915
Valhalla plus waifus?

>>20692915
In case anyone cares, this is me, my name just fell off

>>20692870

Oh.. okay. I guess I'll write something up then, if no one minds.

>>20693076
Do it
faggot

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ok /tg/ this one's a bit outside my expertise so i'm gonna need help, but if we can't get the sulfur for gunpowder, what would we need to make a crude railgun. not necessarily the multi mile ranged weapons that the modern Old World is working on, but still enough to hit like an old cannon

>>20693220
already workin' on it (remember the automatic shovel launcher?)

>>20693220
To be honest, a railgun would be harder to make than gunpowder, and it's hard on the gun itself, as it strains the materials immensely every time it's fired. You'd do better to simply focus on building our tri-ballistas.

>>20693237
I felt it implied it was some attempt at a gunpowder based weapon. Granted, the shovel incident was left very vague, both in the nature of the device and the effects.
Overall though, it is a good idea. Another case of us thinking too Old Realm. Lightening powered railguns could work just fine, if we can power a halftrack with it. We might also consider thinking further outside the box, and just fine a way to magically propel projectiles straight away. A telekinetic cannon, or perhaps some type of spinning stone disks, create the skeet-shooter from hell.

>>20693290
You do realize this is not going to do anything to deter me right? I already have plans for making IRL <REDACTED>s in the works and a railgun is piss-easy compared to that

>>20693320
I ha thought of a magical explosion propelling a steel ball, potential for disastrous misfire is high though.

>>20693347
well when you do manage to make a fully functioning (and safe) railgun, or really any type of cannon, that can be mounted on a dragon waifu, let it be known that i called dibs as of right now

>>20693399
Well I have made a functional cannon, and it COULD be considered safe if you're fireproof...

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>>20690420

Pic related.

Might try another writefagging, just give me some time. Also, glad to see this is still kicking around.

>>20693440
Dear lord, Reginald is far too nervous to ever do anything like that. This writfagging didn't do well the accentuate his insecurities.

>>20693427
1. I ride on top of Rydia and i'm not fireproof
2. even if the fire wouldn't hurt her, the force from an explosion (i get the feeling this would involve an explosion) right on her back would still possibly injure her, definitely screw with her flying, and quite possibly knock her out of the sky

i somehow doubt what you have would be considered safe

>>20693476
It's still in the beta stage and I'm trying to find things other than gunpowder to use as a propellant (though we could avoid this whole situation if we got a suitably powerful mage and some more money)

>>20693476
Ever the problem of mounting cannon on living creatures, they are not A-10 Thunderbolts; spinal injuries occur. Not to mention the issue of gunpowder. One advantage of the idea of using magic to abuse the laws of physics though, is that anything we manage to get working on a large scale, we can likely scale down to at least shoulder mounted.
Problem becomes, at what point do we say screw it and just use magic? Years ago I joked about a staff of fireballs in D&D being fired like it was an RPG, and if magic is easy enough to learn to use such items, I can see us using them in that role.
Developing technology is tricky business even before involving a whole new field of physics.

>>20693471

Oh, I got the insecurites. Mainly because the physical description reminded me a hell of a lot of one of my friends, who's also insecure around the ladies.

But still, spectral fellatio. It's going to happen someday.

>>20693476
Even if it were, how do you intend to reload whilst riding?

>>20693549
I don't know, maybe have it be a belly gun?
Anyways, I need sleep, so I'm gonna go do that

>>20693543
I've determined he needs to get lots of unconventional waifus, but still be exceedingly nervous and clumsy around them. Think of Love Hina, but replace Keitaro with a seven foot tall red haired giant.

I'm thinking the next one should be a golem, or possibly a slime.

>>20693580
maybe one of the prototype golems?
>>20691803

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>>20693580
Sounds good to me. Still not sure if this or a slime first. Also my lodgings in castle waifu are going to get rather crowded with a ghost, a slime, a golem, and a retiliod.

>>20690330
>using the inline expansion
4chan X is still way better.

My my, This certainly has turned out well, the Knight's ranks are filling out and this world is truly starting to take hold. We'll certainly have to start a 1d4chan page soon.

Tonight it's late and I must retire, but perhaps I can tell a story of one of the Adventures I so rarely get to enjoy between diplomatic (and not so diplomatic) missions. Sleep well, brothers.

What does being a knight even mean in this case? Is it just free noble titles for everyone?

>>20693928
We're a bunch of fat guys transported to a fantasy world. We kinda gave ourselves the title. Or in the case of Reginald got his because merchants are afraid of him.

>>20693940
So all fa/tg/uys are knights by dint of being from Erz? I can dig it.

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>>20693960
Now pull up a chair and grab a waifu.

>>20693960
Now the question is, what about higher levels of nobility?

>>20694033
Well eventually plan for Reginald to become known as the Lord of Earth. Though this probably won't be an official title, just something certain people call him after he comes to terms with his giant's blood.

>>20693888
yes, but now there is now excuse not to use an extension

>>20694385
There was never an excuse.

>>20694426
laziness, "I don't want to take the time to deal with that." was the most common one, and now its gone

>>20694463

Personally, I just couldn't be bothered. F5ing isn't that hard, is it?

>>20694474
>F5ing isn't that hard, is it?
One F5 isn't. A million F5s is a hassle, though.

>>20692204
Honestly you don't even need sulfur for gunpowder, it just makes it more powerful (and also makes it corrode the gun barrel faster if it isn't cleaned)

>>20694033
I think 'Sir' is a title given to those of us in the Knights Harem. For nobility, no-one's fleshed it out, but I did mention a bit back about instituting some system of peerage, alongside the Council of DMs. It was un-defined and nebulous however.

By the way, the problem with gunpowder has been established as sulphur being very scarce here. For some reason, it doesn't seem to form under the same conditions as on earth. Now I know people are thinking about smokeless powder, but that requires percussion caps to fire and making fulminate of mercury is just simply beyond our abilities.

Add to that, there are the moral and ethical questions associated with advanced weapons. We have a small stash of gunpowder, used exclusively in the event of an attack on Castle Waifu, but that's it. Besides anything else (absurd as I know it sounds), introducing railguns and the like to the world... Quite apart from the moral question, I feel like I'm going to slip into edition wars, bitching about 'ruining the setting'. So here's the real question: Why do we need them?

>>20695043
In terms of nobility, I'd say that the Council of DMs would be titular princes. Other than that, every fa/tg/uy so long as he's a warrior, and every fa/tg/uy who holds some sort of fort or town or castle is a baron, and any who has vassals is a count, and any with counts as vassals is a duke. That means chances are there will be at most some frontier barons to start with.

>>20695093
But if someone's on the frontier and becomes liege of the barons there, they should become a margrave rather than a count or a duke.

>>20695109
For the border with the Elves, I agree. But the west and north aren't so contested as to require marches.

>>20695118
We haven't taken any land in those directions anyway, so there won't be land-holding nobles there.

>>20695132
Well, I'm envisioning anyone with a frontier house and a fence around it calling himself a baron, and the dude that everyone looks up to there with the biggest wall and the biggest stores of food being the count. So settling fa/tg/uys could be nobility out there too.

>>20695132
Did we even take land from the elves? I thought we just did some killing and pillaging.

>>20695043

The only military advantage I could think of is essentially psychological warfare almost. Even a not very good firearm, railgun or whatever would be a massive "WHAT THE FUCK?!" to the assailants. Of course, history shows us that once something is proven to work, others will create it. I suppose an argument could be made in terms of scientific progress; many mundane civilian technologies did spring from military research. But on the flip side, there's fudging magic in this crazy new world, which doesn't often tend to be good neighbours with the laws of physics.

What does it say about us though, that even in a setting like this the first thing we turn to is devices for the purpose of making it easier to kill others? Personally, I think it'd behoove us more to try and recreate steam engines. The materials would be easier to acquire, just need to design and craft the parts.

>>20695231

Another thing we should create is the printing press.
"What gunpowder did for war, the printing press has done for the mind"
However while I do know a little about how steam engines work I don't know about printing presses :(

>>20695309
>>20695231
printing press and archaic typewriter developed as a side effect of my attempt to create modern industrial tools.

>>20695309
I do. but I like to travel, so no way I'll stop long enough to build a mobile characters Gutemberg.

>>20695231
I covered (briefly) the impact of such things as steam engines in my journal here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20674762/#p20682985
tl;dr? Bad idea

>>20695093
With an elected head of the high council once every ten years, to hold the title of High King? Until we're larger, that sounds pretentious... Probably best if we go with 'High Lord' for now.

Wait... Does this mean we'll actually have a class system? I can't tell you how glad it makes me that everyone recognises the old adage, "I reject any system of government wherein the opinion of the village idiot is given the same weight as the opinion of Aristotle." It's not like serfs are the same thing as slaves either. It's a lord's duty to protect, care for and educate his serfs, as much as it's their duty to serve. They're protected by the Code of the Bro, just like anyone else in Teegee, after all. So long as there's upward mobility (and downward for people who's talents don't match their station), it's a perfectly acceptable system!

>>20695507
Serfdom? Why I do think it is time TeeGee had its first peasant revolt.

>>20695507
I start seeing a tiny crack in your booze, bros and waifus utopia.

>>20695641
...why, TeeGee have peasants? I though it was about equality.

>>20695687
No matter how devoted people are to the idea of equality you still need someone to shovel the shit, plow the fields and do all the boring grunty work that keeps society working.

We might introduce modern health and safety standards and so on, but it's not going to be fun or glamorous.

>>20695687
Serfdom isn't equality.

>>20695706
Really spoken like someone who never worked a single day in his life. apart this, what if everybody shovel his own shit? this way you'll avoid that those guys bored by doing grunty works to keep your fucking orgies running gets too pissed and burn your castle to the ground.

>>20695641
>>20695707
>>20695687
>>20695675
No, serfdom isn't equality. But like it or not, not all men and women are born equal. No matter what people tell you when you're a child, some people are just inherently better at some things than others and it's not all training. Some people are just faster, or stronger, or smarter, or better leaders. So yes, some people just ARE serfs and some people just ARE lords. That's an inescapable fact.

You'll note though, unlike in medieval times, this system has social mobility. We're not the inbred aristocrats of 14th-century Europe; we know that people have merit, no matter who they were born as. As I said, one difference from medieval Europe is that it's a lord's duty to educate his/her serfs. That way, people who are legitimately talented and diligent can rise to a station befitting them. Peasant revolts come not from a class structure, but from the stagnation and oppression within that structure. By eliminating that, you create a much better society.

>>20695812
Well I am the one for democracy but I do agree that it wouldn't be a good idea to introduce it at once. We need to educate our subjects before we can bring the old world system here.

To that guy who was making the book, I'm willing to proofread.

Using my real email address because I'm too lazy to set up a temporary one.

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>>20695812
>some people just ARE serfs and some people just ARE lords. That's an inescapable fact.
why I have the strange sensation that you don't consider yourself a serf?
picture unrelated.

At the start I was not as enthusiastic about obtaining a waifu as the rest of my fellows.

I suppose I should go into detail. Just like everyone else I was ecstatic when the Felim arrived, I just had to have my arm amputated and the medicines they brought staved off my fears of a second infection. I took a while to get used to them, girls with cat ears and tails are a bit more unsettling then in real life then as a drawing. The elves were easier to get along with. The problem stared when the other, for a lack of a better term, monster girls came in. It was no their appearance that unsettled me, it was the tales of discrimination from the native humans. It made me think.

Was the discrimination based on appearance? Or was there a real reason for discrimination?

What is the full extent of their differentiation? Are they like the girls from monster girl encyclopaedia? Do they have mind control powers that can mentally enslave us? Are they releasing pheromones to make men fall hopelessly in love with them? Will we wake up one day to find that all the grass has changed into tentacles and the trees are raping everyone? I have tried persuading the DM’s to pass a degree that any never encountered type of girl should be studied before we allow any of the knights to take one of their kind as waifus. But I don’t have much voice among the council; the knights rightly view me as a coward that got many of their friends killed in the dark early days, the others just view me as a recluse who works late into the night in the labs. Anyway any dissertating views I had won’t be listened to. I’ve become a hypocrite. I’ve taken a waifu, although I a quick to remind anyone that I consider her to be my wife.

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>>20696024

Her name is Arayo. She calls herself a blue Oni. Unlike her sisters she came with she proved herself to very intelligent and well read. We both met in the tavern. I always go for the hard liquor and don’t really talk to anyone. My future wife just sat herself down and instantly started demanding a description of a ‘sciencefag’. I gave her some titbits, her alcohol tolerance allowed us to keep drinking into the night. We repeated this and there was one point where we got ourselves not and bothered while drunk.
I allowed myself to give into temptation.
After then it was as if new chapter had opened in my life. We started talking to each other when sober, sharing life experiences. Eventually after thinking for an entire night, I asked her if she wanted for us to be together. She accepted and I had her officially declared as my waifu. Athough I keep telling her that she is my wife. I still can’t get used to calling her my waifu constantly. I still have reservation about monstergirls and I confess that I have been using Arayo to find if the discrimination is justified for not.

>>20695976
Well, I don't consider myself a serf, but at the same time, I likewise don't consider myself anything like a lord. I just try to do the best I can. If that makes me the best man for the job, then that's how it is. Rulership isn't a privilage, it's a responsibility.

>>20695868
Well, I disagree, but I'll respect your opinion. Besides, this isn't the board for political discussion.

>>20695675
>>20695812
Every utopian setting has flaws, that doesn't mean they're not fun, though. Trying to apply real world ideologies kinda goes out the window when you're dealing with tribes of catgirls and an economy built in part on extreme spelunking. To try to impose serfdom and classism to it is not only asinine but directly oppositional to the tone of the setting.

Its like complaining that 40K doesnt have enough rainbows and bubbles.

Alright, time to get my writefag on.

In the meantime, I would advice everyone (especially Fatwelder and the other techno-revolutionaries) to go look into the Safehold series by David Weber.

>>20695812
you could easily have a system based on who's best for the job without having serfdom. A meritocracy or technocracy would work to achieve that with out having all the land concentrated among the few nobility.

>>20696111

Listen, if you cultivate economical freedom in the real of /tg/, I don't care if you fish or go pissing.

If everybody, from serf to lord, in the light of law, have exactly same ability to open own business in the borders of TeeGee, I'm down to it.

People might not be equal, but the should have equal chances to achieve something.

>>20696446

Original quote had "piss or go fishing" I think. Guess my tiredness is showing.

>>20696446
Exactly. I still believe a class-based, feudal society is best, but it HAS to be a society where everyone has the equal right and chance to achieve something. I'm not about oppression; I'm about people filling a role that fits their natural abilities.

>>20696305
So yeah, part meritocracy.

I always found it a bit strange that, for all their achievements and contributions, the waifus of Teegee are seen by many as only playing a supporting role, even though many of the Harem Knights from our first wave of recruitment were from among them. Bethany, as often as I may describe her as a squire, was a more than competent fighter, more so than I was without using my armor's boosts, a fact I am not ashamed to admit, and she was often by my side, as was Melena, who was herself a well-respected member of the order before she propositioned me, to say nothing of her success afterwards, which arguably overshadows most of my achievements in many ways.

While Karrigan did prefer to be a merchant, she did so because that was her dream when we met, and I have no shame in admitting I did all I could to help her in this. Presilla tried several things, to include adventuring, which she gave up after realizing that she was too much of a homebody, but she did earn a fair bit of popularity once she learned how to make ice cream.