Nuckelavee! When was the last time we used the Nuckelavee? Their scary as hell, just look at them.

>>18862348
Sugarplum Fairy

Yes its there on the board just over his shoulder

The Bride

Uma Therman is going to fuck those kids shit up

Man, why am I the only one who ever votes for the flying heads?

For the record, they later show monsters that aren't on the list. I think it just shows what had been voted for, not what was available.

Devil Car! Devil Car!

Sure, they're in a heavily wooded area with only one road, but come on! DEVIL CAR.

>>18862348
>Witches
>Sexy Witches

These people have a fun job.

Kevin must be a bad motherfucker.

>>18862727

Dude, you don't want to see the sexy witches. You ever read "American Gods," that chapter with the man-eating vagina? It's like that, but worse.

>>18862745

Yeah, they had to cut his scene. It's in the novelization, though.

Oh come on, how has nobody voted for the demons yet?

>>18862754
No, that's a completely different monster.

Can I vote for those Undead Nazis on loan from the Finland facility?

Put me down for the dragonbat. Then explain what a dragonbat is.

I vote for the murderous couch.

>>18862803
No, hell no. Remember what happened the last time we tried to run a foreign scenario? It turned into a farce!

>>18862348

Man, I love the dismemberment goblins, but those guys haven't had a good year since 1984.

>>18862817
It's pretty much EXACTLY what it sound like.

Lantern?

>>18862874

Is it a bat-like dragon or a dragon-like bat? Because a dragon is already pretty bat-like.

>>18862885
I think that says "Intern" actually.

My guess: kitchen staff. Stuff of nightmares right there.

>>18862885
>>18862909

Yeah, maintenance and Ronald the intern both voted for the Zombie Redneck Torture Family.

I think The Whore has a copy of Twilight in her bag. Lets bring Orlock out of storage to fuck with her.

>>18862947

...can I change my vote?

So, no votes for "Angry Molesting Tree"?

My moneys on Angry Molesting Tree!

>>18862979

Clean-up is a bitch with that thing.

>>18862983
Please, selling the tape to the Japanese easily recoups our cleaning expenses.

Which of the artifacts summons the angry molesting tree anyway?

>>18862947
Orlock's a classic. Always bet on these guys.

>>18863005
I imagine a big reel-to-reel tape recorder.

>>18863004

It's not the expenses that bother me. It['s working the clean-up detail that bothers me.

I leave /tg/ for a few months and don't know what the heck is going on anymore.

>>18863018

Naw, naw, that summons the Deadites.

>>18863026
you sir. need to see cabin in the woods.


thank me later

>>18863005
an old wooden dildo

>>18863037
Thanks for the heads up.

I had an inkling this was related to that, I've heard mixed reviews about, but all say it's nuts.

>>18863043

...what... What do they do with it to summon the tree?

I'm hoping for Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain.

>>18863029
Do you guys know where we even got angry molesting tree?

It was just there after that whole debacle with Mr. Williams. No idea why, but we rounded it up along with the deadites because why not?

>>18863061

Oh I think you know.

>>18863059
no problem.

the Japan scenes alone make the cost of the ticket worth it

So, I'm kinda new here, but I was wondering... What happens if they activate multiple artifacts?

>>18863063

We just call him the Hell Lord for short. You want to vote for him, you'll have to split it with Sitterson.

>>18863087
They never do. One always grabs everyone's attention at the last second.

It's weird, but we don't question it.

>>18863095
That's fine, that's fine.

So is he more Bondage or Pain? I'm okay with both, but...y'know. Just curious.

>>18863096
Well except for that time we got the muderous dream invader and the undead hockey mask slasher summoned at the same time. That was some weird shit.

Man, finance is so boring. They always vote for the werewolf.

>>18863120
Damn shame to, seeing as how we lost BOTH of them. That was a complete fiasco.

>>18863120
Yeah, but that was Internal Logistics fault and half the department got shitcanned for it.

Try to mask your writing style a bit better next time, Joss.

>>18863105
Both in equal spades. Also, you have to always refer to him as Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain. It like A Tribe Called Quest, you say the whole thing.

He knows when you don't, I'm sure of it, and it pisses him off.

>>18863132
>>18863133
It wasn't so bad guys, we got a Whore, an Athlete, a Fool and a Scholar. So maybe they got into a populated area and there were some... bonus scenes. But hey, successful ritual. Close enough.

>>18863180
It wasn't nearly as bad as the Scream scenario. Seriously, how can you run the same scenario 4 times and it never works?

Poor Reptilius. You young guys don't remember, but he had a golden run in the mid sixties, but I swear he hasn't been out of his cell for nearly fifty years. Big fella's probably awful cramped.

>>18863217

Man, Japan was laughing at us for years over that.

>>18863217
I don't know why they kept throwing that guy back into the rotation. I mean really. Just take the damn phone out of the house, let her trangress on something else for once.

>>18863217
Hey, that was the Urban team's fuckups. There's a reason they got folded into our department. Remember back when they released that Leprechaun?

Where the hell did they even find that worthless little shit?

>>18863253

I hear Archives had been sitting on that bag of gold for years, and it got sent upstairs without proper clearance.

Is communications jsut joking around with the Snowman vote?

>>18863219
You mean the "Giant" Gila monster? He's so old he can barely support his own weight.

I can't imagine what working here in the 50's was like. Someone high up must have had a giant fetish, or something.

>>18863324
No, we actually do have a killer snowman.

Zoology here. It still pisses me off that you guys lump Wendigo in with Sasquatches and Yetis. Sure, it makes it easier on the Story Dept. to keep track of possible scenarios, but they aren't even the same creature. Yetis are giant apes while a Wendigo is a giant ape ghoul.

>>18863360

Right, but it's NOT WINTER. What's he gonna do, melt on them?

Does anyone bet on Kevin?

>>18863371

Listen, YOU'RE the guys that voted for the sexy witches just because none of you have seen a real pair of tits in five years. Your opinions don't count.

>>18863355
No, Devil Car is for country roads and urban settings. Besides, they do their jobs even when we release bring hundreds of them to life at once.

The Overdrive scenario was such a disappointment.

>>18863381

Nobody really wants to sit through the shit Kevin does.

So what's the consensus on disbanding the Alien Parasite? I know Xenobiology fucked up the last times, especially that time they infected someone with that acidic gel and the moron went to a doctor, but it's a self-replenishing entity.
Besides, people ALWAYS go to check out the artifact. Making it a meteorite was the best damn idea I've ever had.

>>18863381
We don't talk about Kevin.

Unicorn.
Always.

>>18863373
>We're an organization that conducts ritual sacrifices using summoned monsters.

I think we can handle keeping a Killer Snowman from melting.

>>18863371
Well, we can't keep it with the zombies. It makes them EAT ONE ANOTHER!

>>18863415

Do you remember the last time they picked unicorn? The Scholar figured out the Virgin could tame it after ONE FUCKING FATALITY. We gotten beaten by Brazil that year. BRAZIL!

>>18863434

Story Department will throw a shitfit if they have to make a killer snowman work in the middle of Spring.

>>18863373
We fixed that problem last time we used him, sent him to like, the Bahamas or something. I don't remember much about that run, I've tried to block it from my mind because they killed him with fucking Bananas.

Which movie is this from?

>>18863452
It's a cabin. In the woods. In the mountains. I'm sure they can fake a freak snowstorm at high altitudes in the spring.

Global Warming be damned.

>>18863452
Who gives a shit about story department, it's not like the guys downstairs are watching these things for the plot. They're job is to come up with justifications.

>>18863505
The cabin in the woods. It's pretty good.

>>18863443
Don't blame me! Brazil had not only a couple last tourists, but they selected the Normal Guy With a Dark Secret! They were practically cheating when their NGWDS was allowed to use roofies.

>>18863526

What the hell critters does Brazil have, anyway?

Put me down for five bucks on renegade saw robot. He needs more love :(

Speaking of the story department, can we plase get the guys down there to come up with something other than Latin for the creepy ominous language?

I mean seriously... I know it's the go-to standard for these sorts of things, but there are other creepy sounding languages out there.

So when do we make an RPG where you play as one the people conducting the ritual?

Merman.

>>18863550
I don't even think they took things from mythology or folklore. They just hire a few gangsters to hide in a house then chop up the year's victims.

>>18863526
I hate it when other countries cheat. It just seems unsporting.

Japan, for example. I don't think they've ever made a scenario that was truly escapable, and then they act high and mighty at the rest of us about their "100% Success Ratio." As if it's anything to be proud of when the scenario doesn't have a out.

Does anyone else think that this could be made into a kickass scenario?

Out of this year's lineup of artifacts, I like the chances of the Huron getting the job done if he gets picked. The woodland environment suits him, the curse does most of the work, and there is something to say for the crazy old evil witchdoctor actually knowing how to fight. When the shit hits the fan and they figure out their antagonist's weakness, it helps to have one that can actually kill even once it has been robbed of its supernatural power and made mortal again. Last time that happened he still walked away with their scalps.

>>18863517
I saw it while high on pot.

Greatest horror movie ever.
I flipped shit when I saw Sigourney Weaver.

>Felt bad for the SpecOps guys. And that one black security guard.

>>18863554
This is just a rumour, but I heard the Director picked the language...

So, yeah, it is going to be Latin for the forseeable future.

>>18863587
I thought it would be awesome for nWoD or CoC.

But I was high as shit, so I might have been stupid.

>>18863593
>That scene is the closet we will ever be to an SCP Foundation movie.

>>18863576
That's becuase they just don't get it.

They let their super efficient mindset get in the way fo actually enjoying the damn thing.

Funny, you'd think with all the fucked up stuff that comes out of Japan, they'd at least know how to make a ritual sacrifice interesting. Even if it is for pure WTF value.

>>18863610
>Feels bad, man.

>>18863587
Hell, make it into a quest.

>>18863554
I put in my vote for German. It sound angry, and it has Nazi connotations to sound even more evil.

>>18863598
That makes no fucking sense.

When even the mile-high pothead knows not to read the Latin, you know that it's outlived its usefulness.

>>18863633
And they always use ghosts. It's always fucking ghosts. In fact, most of the time it's the SAME FUCKING GHOST!

>>18863668
That's why you put it in a recording. Sure, the last time we did that, we basically fucked over the timestream by sending that one guy with a chainsaw back to medieval times, but it's convenient!

Is it Kevin or K.E.V.I.N? Could be the killer robot.

>>18863644
Nazi connotations are overrated. Especially here in the states. But I could see it working for one of our European competitors.

That being said, German or something else nordic would make for some good ominous chanting.

>>18863644
The problem with German is that most HS college students can bullshit their way through German. It's not really spooky if they can understand it right away.

>>18863668
That was the Chem department's fault. First the 1998 incident, and then not realizing the ultra-paranoid stoner might have a hidden stache.

>>18863675
You have to admit, though; she's very good at her job. Remember when they stepped aside and let us run the Grudge scenario after seeing what we did with the Ring? I don't think I've ever met a more focused ghost.

>>18863725
What was the 1998 incident? No one ever talks about it. It couldn't have gone that wrong.

>>18863716

No, it's just "Kevin."

Sugar Plum Fairy, that bitch is my fetish.

>>18863756
We used Kevin.

>>18863719
Then go for Russian maybe.

Or if you really want to bring the Transylvanian feel, how 'bout some Romanian?

Well, if anything, my vote goes for Deadites. It's been a while.

The dragonbat is too small, in my opinion.

This is the wrangler department, we are gonna be honest, we picked Angry Molesting Tree for simplicity sake.
The bastard doesn't even move...technically.

>>18863774
I prefer Swarm of Tooth Fairies. Funny as hell seeing the victims get their teeth ripped out, then getting beaten to death with quarters.

>>18863788

"Small"? The thing's the size of a cow.

>>18863788
The Dragonbat though man, he's all heart. Poor little guy just needs a chance to shine. I'm really pulling for the little guy.

>>18863797
Yeah, but then you have to figure out a way to get people to come TO Angry Molesting Tree, and that just makes more work for everyone else.

I read on some article that had an interview with the director, I think, that Kevin was just an original creation of there own - that they just envisioned an ordinary guy named Kevin, like a Wal-Mart employee looking person, that goes around killing people.

I kind of like the idea that in the Organization's stable is an ordinary psycho killer.

>>18863827
Man, wranglers have the hardest job here by far. Give them a break once in a while, you selfish ass.

>>18863756
Chem failed to account for a drug dealing low life handing out some homebrewed cocaine-like drug that killed, KILLED, the alien parasites. By the time we figured out what was going on, the scumbag had jammed a pen filled with his drug right into the queen's eye.

The entire ritual was botched.

>>18863756
Let's see...
The "Faculty" incident, the killer doll getting married, we tried doing the "Halloween" scenario 20 years later, we tried to kill those kids who ran over a drifter, we pulled Norman Bates out of mothballs too, and the Japs countered with the "Ringu" bitch.

Oh, I think it was a fine year, don't you?

We never see enough of the Undead Native Americans.

For fucks sake is it too much to ask for some angry killer Indians?

Anyone Remember the mad scientist from '58?
Favorite way of disposing of the kids was shrinking 'em.
The virgin even got away that time! Although I'm not sure what kind life she could have had after that...

>>18863872

You mean the Huron? Yeah, it mystifies me too. You'd think the stoners would go right for the the big old peace pipe.

>>18863872
I think we tried to run a Deer Woman Scenario once, but she didn't get as many kills as we were expecting.

>>18863859
That was the year Japan started winning every year...

Bastards. We even tried copying their scenarios, and still they kept winning.

>>18863845

Yeah, he was supposed to get a brief scene during the chaos. Sitterson and Hadley, as they try to get a handle on things, briefly panic when they realize they don't know where Kevin is. They flip through the security feeds until they find him walking down a hallway, a nice, normal looking guy with a funny little smile, who seems completely untroubled by all the monsters and murder around him. A wounded guard mistakes him for staff, reaches up to ask for help, and Kevin removes all the blood from the guy's body in mere seconds.

The implication of the scene is that Kevin, despite looking normal, is possibly the most dangerous creature in the facility. It's still in the script and the novelization.

>>18863975
I like to think that all of the other monsters are terrified of Kevin.

>>18863851
Thanks man. Its not easy but it's better than clean up. I pity those guys.

>>18862348
SEND FORTH...


.... KEVIN!

>>18863997

So what's the worst one to wrangle? Is it Fornicus? I bet it's Fornicus, I hear he can teleport when he's out of his cell.

>>18863997
You do know you're the ones that have to go and *Re-acquire* Angry Molesting Tree, don't you.

>>18864035
Lord of Bondage and Pain!

What? Look, I'm just looking out for you.

>>18864038
Angry Molesting Tree is easy as hell to distract long enough to wrangle it. Just get a bunch of Real Dolls to distract its largest branches.

How about a skinwalker?

Navajo shit is fucking scary. And not a chance in hell that Joe Schmo average is going to crack the language.

I always sort of wanted to see what would happen if we let the Pooka out.

Hey guys, remember when the Suburban division made all those 'board game becomes real' artifacts? What happened to those, anyway?

>>18863892
Oh Yeah! That was a weird one.At least cleanup wasn't too bad. Jesus. how tall was she 12", 6"?

That was the same year as the giant woman. And again in 1993. That got out of hand quickly. Never many deaths if I remember...

You know what I wish? That we were allowed to do the really out there stuff. I really enjoyed the Cube scenario, the 1408 Scenario, and the Lecter scenario was, taken as a whole, a fucking masterpiece that I'm amazed Story department came up with.

>>18864035
Zombies and other types of "Infection" scenarios are always hard wrangles simply because of how many monsters you're dealing with. England did a really good one once where they tricked the marks into thinking that all of England was fucked. I don't know how they manged that, and the bastards won't tell us.

This is a good thread.

I have no fucking idea what's going on, or what OP's image is.

>>18864160
I think those were the only times that Urban actually won. Well, that and the Elevator scenario.

>>18864205
Didn't England do the Zombie scenario multiple times, though? I heard they stopped once the entire zombie horde was defeated by some moron in a business-casual suit and his friends.

>>18864225

then you will love Cabin in the Woods. Seriously, go see it already. It's like Delta Green or some shit.

>>18864275
Tell me it's on Netflix, I need me some sexy witches and Kevin.

>>18864205
Umm... they didn't. The clean-up was hell, but they said it was completely worth it.
The media cover-up was what really impressed me.

>>18864227
Oh, the old lady was Satan.
Like we didn't see that one coming.

>>18864258
I thought the guy and his friends were pretty much screwed until the "military" showed up and killed of all the zombies.

Although rumor has it that they let some survive as cheap slave labor.

>>18864294
Still in theaters.

But you can probably find it online in the usual places.

>>18864323
Worth the theater price?

Or at least /tg/ related?

>>18864338

Yes and yes.

>>18864294
Sorry, but it is still in theatres and Kevin and the Sexy Witches really don't appear on screen.

>>18864323

From what I heard, stuff with Kevin was cut out for time. So it (and others) may find their way onto the disc release.

>>18864227
They didn't pull a win with 1408, the sap they put in the room killed the room, and at least the first Lecter scenario, on it's own, looks like such a complete failure that I'm surprised the director let them keep developing it.

The Se7en scenario was brilliant though. Urban hit it out of the park with that one.

>>18864302
I don't see why we haven't fired that guy. The only scenario of his that has ever worked was that and the one where the plants released suicide gas.

>>18864038
>>18864075

Exactly. He's cruel as hell but not the brightest.
The decoys work every time. Who knew one tree could hold so much hate and perversion. You really just got. To look out for when he drops seeds. Christ what a year. Thankfully science boys figured out that it was just a seasonal thing.

>>18864035
Fornicus Lord of Bondage and Pain really isn't that bad honestly. Once he's done with them he walks back to your cell, as long as your polite.
The worst is honestly a tie. The merman rarely comes out and fights every second to stay that way. Eats through nets and unbelievably fast in the water. Trick is to get him on land.
The other would have to be those goblins. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't blend in so well. But every creature has its day.

>>18864426

What's the deal with the goblins anyway? I mean, aside from the dismembering.

>>18864477

I hear the little bastards wreak havoc with any form of equipment. And they love setting nasty traps.

>>18864477
No, dismembering is pretty much all they do. We had other Goblins once. Vegetarians, apparently. It was almost cute how they tried to be threatening.

>>18864520

(Dude, you can see the goblins on one of the monitors near the end; they look just like the Troll 2 goblins.)

Am I the only one who feels that Security is woefully unprepared for one of the beasts getting loose? I've written some very strongly worded letters to the head of Administration pointing out that if the Werewolf got out, that no one on security seems to have silver bullets. Oh, and God help us if Kevin someone got out of his cube.

>>18864109

Jenny in Finances let my pooka out last weekend. BOOM!

>>18864426
(His) cell . Sorry its been a long night.
>>18864142
I was THERE for her wrangling. I'll let you guys in on a
secret. Shes the "Giant" on the board. The whole Zoology department has a bit of a crush on her. Hasn't aged a day and legs that go on forever,I can see why.

>>18864571
Somehow, not someone. Maybe that's why my letters got ignored.

>>18864571
Werewolves are harmless most of the time, and if Kevin gets out then we're fucked no matter what we do. It'd be easier just to blow the whole facility.

>>18864571

Relax, there's all sorts of protocols. All the cubes are hooked up to a gas system that'll knock all the stupid bastards out. It's part of the contingency plan in case we have to pack up and move to a new facility in a hurry. All you gotta do is activate the gas, purge all the cells, and then roll the unconscious subjects into the transport units.

I mean, it's not like anybody'd be stupid enough to purge the cells WITHOUT activating the gas, am I right?

>>18864140
They never got results, for one thing. If you beat them, they just suck everything back in. We have a dozen of the stupid thing, and all they're good for is hazing interns.

>>18864612
You know, it makes me sort of uncomfortable that we a button to open all the cells at once.

Just saying it feels like a, what do you call, Checkovs Gun?

>>18864571
What à nightmare that would be. The guy literally looks like everybody else. The body count would be enormous.
Hmmm maybe I need to write a letter too.
But come on , do know the likely hood of even ONE of
those fuckers getting out? Better chance at winning the
lotto.

>>18864659
What a great Christmas party that was.
>>18864708
It's not just ONE button...it's like 3 or something.

>>18864708
No, no, they're right. It would take something unimaginable to happen before anyone would flip the switches, put in the codes, turn the keys, unlock the doors, break the glass, and open the system purge function.

It is just that I still have nightmares from that one Clowns scenario, that's all.

>>18864798

Fuck, one of the guys in Zoology said the Clown can take a goddamn tank shell.

>>18864798
The one where the clown was an elder horror, or the one where they were from outer space?

Because the latter scenario got a little to campy.

>>18864784
I still remember sneaking that elephant into Reptilliuses cage to see who would win.

Old Lizards still got it!

>>18864832
The Elder horror from beyond the stars. What makes it worse was how young children would always go for it. Say what you want about our job, but the young children scenarios always leave me a little sick to my stomach.

>>18864905
Yeah, he's real fun, too bad he's got too much of an imagination. One of the kids beat him by convincing him that his inhaler was a container of acid, for fuck's sake.

>>18864925
That's why we don't use children, unless it's as monsters. Otherwise, they always get away.

We tried to tell Japan that, but nooooooooo, they're bound and determined to prove us wrong this year.

>>18864925
I hats that clown I always called in sick for those. I know that seems pretty shitty but I he's maimed the most wrangler's as far as I'm aware.
>>18864856
Hell yes he does. I don't think hes quite done yet.

>>18865024

Yeah, Reptilius still has a bit of the ol' atomic fire in him, but these days it seems the giant snake or spider get picked more often.

>>18865061

What summons those two anyway? I mean, they're so generic.

That's it, I'm sending in Kevin. He's been patiently waiting and needs the exercise.

Friendly reminder to all staff, fornication with monsters is strictly forbidden. Do not attempt it, ever, regardless of apparent advances on the part of monsters. I don't think I need to remind most of you about the Witches incident, but there's always some stupid intern that get a glint in his eye.

>>18865087
No, remember, we lost that Kevin when that huge guy wandered into the scenario.

The new Kevin is much more dangerous than the old one.

>>18865174
I still miss old kevin. I'm still pissed at security for getting killed and letting that huge guy wander onto the grounds.

>>18865083
I think the snakes thing is actually a tooth from Titanboa. Not sure about the spider, though.

>>18865150

Man, they were cleaning that hallway for weeks. Never quite got the bile stains out of the ceiling.

>>18865254
I'm amazed that THAT'S what it took for management to finally okay the use of force-fields.

That was a hell of a fight, though. I'm glad we got that on tape.

>>18865150
God damn it. We lose 1 intern back in 03 and now every year we gotta have the same crappy HR meeting. it's fucking ridiculous!

>>18865284
It is a spider web in the cellar that if the sacrifices destroy, unleashes the giant spider. Shame some of the vets are saying old Itsy is no shape to go tonight, because Itsy is my favourite.

>>18865254
You can't go feeling sorry for ever antagonist we lose in the field. We consider it a bonus if we're able to reacquire them afterwards.

I remember the Toothfairy. That one had so much potential and she got killed off on her first outing.

Ooh /tg/. have my babies!

>>18865313
I don't know, the victims pretty soundly won the last time we let Itsy and her brood out. Though, maybe it was a bit ambitions to try and do a whole town...

>>18865308
You mean the one where we get to watch a highlight reel of every Female monster disemboweling someone? Those are great, though.

>>18865413
Look, I enjoy that clipshow as much as the next guy.

it's the roleplaying scenarios with that bitch from HR that are just demeaning

Fuckin' Japs.
At least they're the only ones that're competitive. What the hell does Brazil even have besides the demon goat thing?

>>18865061
The snake is boring. You let it out-
BOOM
it swallows em all and you have to finangle him back in.

Reptilius stomps, roars, hunts and crashes through everything. Makes for abetter show.
>>18865308
I swear the internal get dumber every year.

I for one think the blame for our recent failures belongs to those Norwegian guys who transferred over from the Scandinavian team.

I hear they are still trying to pitch trolls to the story dept!

>>18865448

too bad it's the macho pyramid head and not the sneak-up-and-stick-his-dick-in-your-pocket-creepy pyramid head

>>18865450

My favorite bit is the Reptilius' radioactive healing factor. Nothing messes with the victims more when they finally manage to blast off part of his face or something only to see it grow back. That and, you, know, the flesh-melting toxic spit.

>>18865466
I don't know, I think that scenario worked pretty well. Maybe I just like it when we get to fuck with documentary filmakers. Of course, you could never implement it here.

>>18865466

Trolls are fine... FOR FUCKING VIKING MOVIES.

Yeah, should never have made a modern troll film. And if they did, it should have been about actual trolls... like the kind that get out of bed in the morning to anger xbox fanboys.

>>18865448
Look the Japs are a one note team. Ghosts. thats it.
they do Ghosts really well. probably better than anyone.
but whenever they try for monsters, demons, or even zombies they fuck it up. remember when they tried zombies in their forest set up?

It was flustercluck to say the least.

Man, how many times have we had to rebuild that Cabin from scratch now?

>>18865539

nigger I know you didn't just talk shit about Versus

>>18865510
Remember in 1994 when we lured in that doc. team and they unleashed Witches. Shame it wasn't Sexy Witches, but you take what you can get.

>>18865513
They did. It was called Cyberbully and it was the best movie EVER.

>>18865554
hey, I love verses. but the zombies didn't actually kill anyone, the gangsters did and therefore the Jap team didn't get credit! also like 3 people survived the whole thing. as fun as it was to watch, it was a technical failure on the team's part.

>>18865448
All the Japs have been doing is Pale Ghost Girl for the past 10 fucking years. Remember when they had the guy that slowly turned into a metal monster with a drill for a dick? That was brilliant.

Then again I'd say they are slightly more creative than the Canadians. All those fuckers do is lock the subjects in a murder cube they built in the basement. Big whoop.

>>18865566
I prefer the one where we tailed that ghost hunter team and riled up the spirits in the asylum they were planning to stay in.

Even with how much we fucked with them, I never expected them to start shifting space. THAT was cool as hell to see.

And the best part is, we don't even need to really film doc teams. They do all our work for us.

>>18865599
On the upside, the murder cube proved to be a good prototype for our containment cubes.

>>18865599
wait. Canada still has a team?
I thought we shut them down back in 05?

>>18865554
I'm with him, if you like it that's fine, but don't pretend you like it because it's good. I'd wager you like it precisely because it's shit.

>>18864588
Does anyone if shes intelligent?
I heard a rumor that shes actually normal,like the rest of us! Just bigger. Or is she just a raging beast?

>>18865599
How'd they even do all that hypercube shit? Wish they'd share that with the rest of the class.

>>18865641

LSD. Chem department came through that time in spades.

>>18865618
I think it was because they tried to go all Meta with the last scenario they ran. "Oooo look, these are the people who run the cube, totally not us we swear."

Hey guys, Chuck here from the East coast team.
Listen have any of you seen run into these two guys?

they showed up on our cabin set back in 05 and actually killed our ghosts. like all of them.

we thought it was an isolated incident but our other teams say they've run into them as well.

Why don't we ever use robots anymore? Robots were always fun.

>>18865671
turns out finding and capturing ghosts, mummies, zombies, monsters and other hellspawn is actually cheaper and easier than building and maintaining robots that can actually go up and down stairs.


i mean, we all remember the Johnny 5 incident back in the 80s.

>>18862348
What is this from?

>>18865663
Central hasn't actually sent anything around about them, which makes me thing that we might actually be playing the long game with those two, y'know, like those FBI agents back in the 90's that we were screwing with.

>>18865618
They got downsized to the guys running the Hypercube and an international Wrangler team. Its a shame really; their old director was a genius.

>>18865663
I'd be more worried about those counter-agencies. Always going around and either shooting up or capturing our beasts. Hell, I even heard they took in Ancient Proud Warrior as a leader of one of their strike teams.

>>18865663

Looks like you've got hunter problems. They mean well, but they obviously don't get the big picture. You might have to keep them busy elsewhere, deplete some of Archive's least used.

Hell, sometimes we even contract them sometimes for procurement.

>>18865706

The joke's on them. He has a murderous split personality.

>>18865696
Stupid robot, YOU DON'T HAVE PEOPLE FEELINGS!

God, that was embarrassing.

>>18865618
Their still around,just been downsized.
They really weren't helping bringing in the kills. They are mostly R&D now. Helped with the containment cubes.
>>18865543
At least 30.Maybe more.sometimes it just got too old and needed renovating. That's not counting adjustments. I'm
talking ground up.
>>18865497
Oh the look on their faces. Its priceless. That spit will take out almost anything. Zoology said they feed him a shit ton of citrus fruits and taco sauce. I think they are pulling my leg though.

>>18865706
They don't ever have half of an idea about what we do! You know that have like, 3 different names for us? They think we're a bunch of different organizations! It's priceless!

>>18865638
Oh she's intelligent, and she prefers silk drawers.

You now, we should do more haunted house scenarios. I know that we're still cautious because of how the 13 Ghosts scenario played out but I really loved working on them, and we got some good stuff before the house blew up.

>>18865731
No, I don't think they are. That shit smells like lemons and pepper spray. Burn marks make your eyes water just being 30 feet from them.

There's a reason clean-up is a punishment for us Sec guys.

But I gotta say, I love putting on an army uniform, grabbing an assault rifle, and "rescuing" the mercies once it's over.
I found the UK year to be a damn party.

Attention employees.
Do not tap on the glass cages for any reason whatsoever.
That is all.

>>18865855
Any one of those ghosts could have been a proper antagonist in their own right. Not only did we use them all, but they only killed 2 people and in the end we lost all of them! Someone should have been fired for that screw up!

Let's leave the ghosts to the Japanese, at least there's don't run away.

>>18865915
13 ghosts had potential. the problem was logistics and casting fucked up by making the victims family and 1 of the 13 ghosts was their mother.

It is a bit of a logistical pain in the ass but i feel we shouldn't of abandoned it.

>>18865974
If i had a nickel for every time the power of "love" caused a complete scenario failure I'd have like 3 dollars

>>18865974
I know that the writing department is full of drama queens, but someone needs to tell them that, while interesting, family ties are fucking difficult to pull off. Its just not worth the hassle.

>>18865974
The higher ups like to try and cover this up, but the guy who wrote the scenario also played the role of the "Villain." That whole "Eye of Hell" thing? That would have worked.

That's the real reason the scenario had to be aborted. Next to something like that happening, losing all those ghosts is no big deal.

>>18866043
Wait, what?

So you're saying he could have fucked over the entire system with a homemade doomsday device funded on the system's dime?

>>18866072

Portals to hell are not uncommon.
how do you think we got the Hell Lord or the demons?

>>18865974
Top Ten List of Things You Don't Want Showing Up In a Scenario.
10. Stoners
9. Witches
8. Fantasy nerds
7. Talking dogs
6. A survivor from a previous scenario
5. Survivalists
4. Priests
3. An atheist one good scare away from becoming a Prodigal Son
2. A disfunctional family yearning to make amends
1. Children

>>18865893
Yeah clean up is the worst. But it can get much worse than Reptilius on jobs like that. But what are you gonna do?

How is Security by the way? There was a guy complaint earlier about how easy it would be tor something to get out? Was he just blowing off steam? Also Jack o lantern?
That's...an interesting choice.

>>18866072
What can I say, no one pays any attention to the guys in the writing department. All I know is that ever since then management has been riding our ass and looking over our should constantly. Used to be they'd run with anything we came up with, but since then every idea I've submitted involving any sort of ritual has been rejected out of hand. Not just me either, it goes for the whole department.

>>18865663

Fucking Winchesters.

There about as bad as that private investigator. You know the one in Chicago? Apperantly he's a wizard. And get this. His name is Harry.

>>18866101
Yeah, but aren't those obtained through very specific channels under very close scrutiny by the higher-ups?
I mean, doing it in the middle of a ritual... that seems too risky. I mean, we only have to do this, what, twice a year?

That said, looking back on it, I think the scenario we pulled off with the haunted derelict cruise ship was gold.
I mean sure, it wasn't as classic as the cabin or anything, but it was efficient as all hell.
Shit, I remember the damn antagonist that got picked was in the observation room with us (spooky bastard).

>>18865814
Mother of God.

This cant be real. Can anyone confirm this? Zoology? Operations?

>>18866072
Wasn't the ritual supposed to give him the power of "the Devil?" In other words, he was going to turn himself into one of the Old Ones.

I don't think they would have appreciated a lowly human rising to their level.

So, what's the easiest scenario you've ever been on, and what was the hardest?

For me, it was the Ruins scenario. Hardly had to do a thing. Find the ruins, Grow a plant, stick some people on it and watch.

The Hardest would definitely be the Final Destination Scenario, but that was the most ambitious thing we've ever done.

>>18866142
Also, a guy told me that Fornicus ain't from hell. He's from some "higher" plane or something.

>>18866118
We got the training and the attitude... but... Well... don't tell anyone, but right now we're running dangerously low on silver and sanctified ammo. Shipping was delayed a day and the guy who was in charge of ordering in the first place slacked off.
I tell ya heads are gonna roll tonight once word gets out.
But hey, what's the worst that can happen? Werewolf hasn't been used in a decade.

>>18863845
Just thought I should let you guys know....

Um.....Yeah

Good news everyone!

our Zoology dept recently picked up this guy in Korea.
after a bit of examination and tinkering we are gonna be trying him out here in the states.

oh also don't tell Japan. they'd be pissed if they found out we stole a creature from their neck of the woods.

>>18866209
...

Nobody panic, that could be anyone name-tag.

Someone check the cell.

>>18866106
>talking dog
?
....oh. OH!
>>18866142
What ever happened to that guy...

>>18866246
Oh shit...

>>18866195
Easiest? Probably the Children of the Corn scenario.

We found a premature old one(he who walks behind the rows) and let him do his work.

The hardest? Cloverfield scenario. We had to shoot down a satelite to wake the thing up.

>>18866220
Is it a ghost? No, so Japan won't care.

I was talking to someone in the London office, and they said something interesting about Japan. Sure, ghosts ghosts ghosts is really effective, but by not randomizing their selection, they are now running against the odds some religous mumbo-jumbo will go down and their ghost will get its ass kicked. Spirits are very effective, but it sometimes helps to have a bruiser on the roster. Or Kevin.

>>18866271
Dunno. Last anyone saw of him was one of the clean-up guys saw him walk out of the docks with the gold ingots with a pleased little grin on his face. I heard we didn't get those back, either.

>>18866280
Yeah, sorry about that. I just need some ME time you know? I get a little IMPATIENT waiting in that cell all day and night. I'll have some fun, then I'll be back. Don't worry. Keep an eye on the news. Western Mass. It'll be amazing, but I'll be back in a jiff.

>>18866280
Don't worry everybody! Stay calm! Look, he left his ball so that mean he's not trying to escape. That mean he should still be in th

You need some new writers. Thought you ought to know. :)

>>18866297
I prefer the Good Life scenario

give one kid god like powers, lock down the town, hilarity ensues.

I enjoy it cause its literally YEARS of entertainment as opposed to just a few hours of quick gore.

Maine division here.

We'll take care of Kevin.

Again.

>>18866339
Way to let me know you're coming! HA!

>>18866339
Why does that boy have to be so difficult? None of the others ever act up like this!

>>18866339
thanks maine but i'm gonna go ahead and call in our Innsmouth team just in case.

we really need to get those guys off their asses. nothing has gone down there since the 20s. but they keep sucking up money and resources. what could the possibly be working on? whatever im rambling, im gonna give em a call.

>>18866316
Yeah...
This came straight from the Colonel:

"Sec's not gonna deal with you, Kev. Enjoy your vacation, but we're pulling off total blackout with you. We've had enough of your shit when it comes to wrangle you. You are, as of this moment, not our problem.
State law enforcement will go after you, and so will plenty other "hunters". But we, the System, will neither step in for you, nor throw you to the wolves.

All said, you're welcome to return to your cell at any time. You're a great asset, and will welcome you back. As long as you keep Staff fatalities to a minimum. Good day to you."

Front door's open for you, Kev. Godspeed.

>>18866331
Yeah, but you eventually have to take those powers away from him. More trouble than it's worth.

>>18866203
There is no way. I thought Fornicus Lord of Bondage and Pain was just some cultists who tapped into the Old Ones power.

I'm sure it will be fine though.Even if it isn't Ive heard Japans got it down
This year. Again...
>>18866300
Please. Its not even challenging for them anymore. Not gonna lie, I'd actually like to see them trip for once. Just once.

>>18866353
We're already there Kevin.

While your reading this post, we've set up a nifty perimeter. The stuff we use to capture people like It.

>>18866386
not really. those kids usually burn themselves out once they take out the whole town.

but even so. it's totally worth the fun. the real hard part is cleaning up the cornfield after.

I still get nightmares of what i saw there.

>>18866382
Awwww. Tell the colonel I said thanks. I'll be back in a few days. I'll even bring some souvenirs!

I forget.
Does he prefer femurs...Or was it pelvic bones?

So I had an idea.

You know how we had the Jason and Freddy guys fight? We should do that with the Jeepers Creepers and Pumpkin Head scenarios.

Ones a demon who eats people and the other is a demon who is summoned for vegeance! It writes itself.

>>18866410
May want to get the viewing window of his cell removed. I've just been there. There's a woman drained bone dry just outside his door. Looks like he charmed one of the female interns.

Took a picture. Gonna hand it in to HR so that they can put it in the female version of the slideshow.

>>18866449
Femurs. The old man's a stickler for the classics.

>>18866410
Maine, let him go. Kev's chill once he gets a few kills under his belt. Also, the Colonel doesn't want to have to completely restaff your Wrangling division. Again.

>>18866382
Wait...someone get a satellite on the sector Kevin's hiding in. Load up a C130 with drugs and have it carpet the whole area. We can turn this into an impromptu ritual.

>>18866487
Those don't count, remember?

All victims have to be punished, not simply murdered. They need to go "looking for trouble" so to speak.
Or have you forgotten why we need to have such a goddamn elaborate set-up every time?

Don't you remember how much a fuckup it was when we released zombies in that midWest town a few years ago?
We had half a SecOps division round up the town, quarantine got breached, and then it took a Daisy Cutter to clean up.

>>18866487
No, this has to be done right! You need the sacrifices, and you need the out, and it can't be random! They have to encounter a gateway or a barrier and still press on instead of turning back.

>>18866487
DO NOT engage. We do not need another ritual, they got one going already. The kids just pulled into the driveway!

I could bring him in.

Just make a wish.

>>18865706
The Ancient Proud Warrior? I thought the Psych Department had cleared that guy...? Wait, which one are we talking about here?

>>18866589
I thought his fucking cell was soundproof?

Could you boys down in maintenance go around a check thing out? Kevin may have fucked with something before he left.

Get on the ball, people. We aren't the Foundation, This shit isn't suppose to happen to us!

>>18866614
The one that claimed to be Abel.

You know, the biblical one. I'm glad they took him. I never liked that guy.

>>18866589
Nice try, Djinn.

The new intern is in the break room. Disney movies have convinced him that you're fun loving and trustworthy.

>>18866625
Oh, don't be like that.

I can even stop all this senseless killing.

Just wish for it. The old ones will slumber, no people need to die, and I get..well my freedom.

>>18866681
This situation is best for all parties involved. We get a paycheck, humanity as a whole gets to live, you guys aren't destroyed, the old ones are content.

It's pretty good deal all around.

Now shut up until your summoned.

>>18866712
Oh fine. Keep that damn angel's sword away from me.

Come on nightmare, maybe we can go scare that intern for a laugh. First we put on the disguise and the boo! And by boo, I mean we eat his soul.

>>18866127
as bad as the Winchesters and that harry guy are. id take them any day of the week over these bastards.

many of you youngsters may not remember the 70s but THESE FUCKERS are why we had to start capturing REAL ghosts and monsters.

meddling fuckers.
and that dog too.

>>18866778
Eh. I remeber the chick from the nineties. Buffy. She was a hoot for a bit, but then Sunnydale's operation got sucked into a sink hole.

Wolfram and Hart had fun with that.

>>18866778
>>Velma
That rotten whore gave me herpes at Woodstock. Shy virgin nerd my ass.

>>18866816

i dunno. i always felt we wasted all our vampire supply there.

i mean they went through vampires there like shit through a goose.

>>18866866
The thing about vampires is that they're easy enough to kill, but they're harder to exterminate than fucking cockroaches. They've gone extinct six times now, and every time they're all over the place again within a decade. I'm surprised anyone still tries.

>>18866778
7. Talking dogs >>18866106

>>18866866
Nah, we took plenty of 'em out too. The younger ones at any rate. We owned the undertaker in town so we got first cut. It was a perfect example of spooling out a few (the ones we buried before they rose) to a Hunter to keep her from interfering in other operations.

We almost brought her on the reservation for a while after she went to college... but the results of that are the reason why Security departments don't have the best death benefits anymore.

Okay, so at first I thought that it was cool that every horror movie is canon through this movie, but every movie is canon through this movie?

Cabin in the Woods is one of the greatest movies ever.

>>18866936
Didnt the head of that department pull a Frankenstein?

>>18866986
Any movie where young people are killed by something supernatural in a contained environment and they are being punished for stupidly ignoring obvious warnings.

>>18866993
close. the head of that department was killed and now he IS a Frankenstein.

a common misunderstanding

>>18866986
Yes and no.

Move along Civilian
*security needed in level 7, writers hall.

>>18867051

we'll be there shortly.

we've encountered difficulties getting our segways up the stairs

>>18867035
While moves like The Mist and The Crazies are canon events where something goes wrong and some of our tools cause problems outside of designated staging areas.

>>18867176
Oh god how many times did the foundation in Maine fuck up?
I'm serious it's like every other year they released something from the archives or an experiment went wrong.

>>18863975
there's a novelization? or was this a book before it was a movie?

>>18868968
And if he's so dangerous, why hasn't anyone taken him in the betting pool?

>>18867327
THe Massachusets branch hasn't had to actually make a sacrifice since the 1930's. Under ideal conditions, they'd only have to do it one year out of every six, and every fucking time there's an errant cloud, so "the stars aren't right"

Ours are fucking *demanding*.

>>18868984
Because no-one WANTS to see Kevin.

>>18868984
>>18868996
That, and when he gets out no one manages to collect on their bet anyways

So where is the Laundry setting for this?

We can assume the Whedonverse is coherent so there could also be a Buffy/Angel setting if Unisystem is preferred over BRP..

Just don't make it DH. Use DRYH if you want to make an entirely new thing.

Just get to work /tg/. Get shit done.

So what item summons Kevin?

>>18870526
Reading his name tag of course. His proper one.

bump