>>18645891

(No pictures because I need to be quick, also because I have some drawfaggotry for later in the story and don't want to get it lost in an imagedump)

Goro the ghoul gestured out at the water. A black oil rig stood awkwardly out in the coastal waters, leaning about 15 degrees more to the South than would probably pass any inspection. A mass of scrap metal, low-tech boats, and bulbous flotation devices surrounded the barnacle-covered base like a moat; an amphibious shantytown. Speedboats kept a tight perimeter, the black men in them carrying the distinctive silhouettes of RPGs. One such speedboat approached the team’s own. Goro cut his engines, held up his arms, and made clear that he was unarmed (nominally: there was an assault rifle beneath his seat, but the Fanti pirates didn’t need to know that). Dervish kept his gun at his side, accessible but lowered.

return to ravnica and shadowrun storytime, just after return of camping.
trully this is a glorious day

>>18645908

The boat pulled up alongside the team’s own. In it were four men. Three of them wore shemaghs and rags, and were carrying small arms. The fourth, the obvious leader, was every Horizon stereotype of the scary black man known to man. He wore a military uniform of indistinguishable make, with the arms torn off, revealing massive bronzed biceps. His face was unshorn and covered in curly black hair. He wore huge aviator sunglasses, and surveyed the team with a slight, dismissive snarl.

“White men. Explain yourselves.”

Geppetto adjusted his tie, stood up, and announced impartially,

“We wish to do business with the Jackal King.”

The lieutenant growled.

“And on whose behalf do you speak?”

“We are Americans, but we come recommended from Ares and General Sadami.”

“And what is it that you have to offer?”

“Money. Money and guns.”

>>18645920

The lieutenant seemed to consider this, and nodded slowly.

“All who wish to speak with the exalted Jackal King will come on this boat, with us. The dead man will take his boat no further.”

Goro nodded.

Geppetto gestured to Bend and Dervish.

“They’ll come as my security. 2D, stay in the boat. Keep your rotodrones and dragonflies aloft, and dismantle anyone who tries to double-cross us. We’ll take another boat back and switch you out with Bend when we need you to verify Julienne’s code.”

“I hear yah. Diving now.”

2D lay back in the speedboat, reaching into his backpack for sunblock and his water canteen. His “I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally” t-shirt was already soaked in nerd-sweat.

The lieutenant gestured for the team to cross into his boat. Although it bowed dangerously when Dervish stepped in, the boat held true.

>>18645928

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxziFMyRwDg (for flavor)

Dervish, Geppetto, and Bend were treated to a montage of human suffering as they were led through the Fanti’s floating kingdom. Dozens of African civilians, perhaps volunteers, perhaps kidnapped labor, perhaps a mix of the two, lay and sat in various states of starvation-induced languor across mountains of sharp, hot scrap metal. Gunshots resounded at the team approached the stairs up into the rig proper, and intensified until they reached one of the exterior catwalks. A loud, angry man was drilling a dozen small children to use their sidearms properly as they shot at rough scrap facsimiles of Nigerian provisional government soldiers. One scrap mannequin actually wore a torn uniform, stained with old blood. The drill instructor repeated the mantra,

“The government will show no mercy! Neither will you! Kill him! Kill him before he kills you!”

Geppetto stifled an absurdist smile. The smell of gunsmoke, sweat, and cocaine rang triumphantly through his nostrils. For all of the good looks and kindness that the Evo commercials would have you believe constituted the world, this was the real face of humanity. Ignorant, cruel, poor, disease-ridden, with nothing left to it but violence.

>>18645937

Bend just looked deeply, deeply uncomfortable as they neared the top of the defunct oil rig, nearing the foreman’s office; the court of the Jackal King.

Compared to his minions, the Jackal King lived in utter excess. His corroded metal walls were done up with garish purple wallpaper. Gold plating covered utterly superfluous objects such as a commlink and a set of ceramic body armor. A fancy heart-shaped bed with curtains had been imported, like some kind of tacky harlequin romance fixture.

Lubnana Kwesi, the Jackal King, sat on his plastic golden throne, having evidently just received very vigorous oral sex from one of the many women surrounding him, if his demeanor was anything to go by. He wore a leopard-print pimp suit, ugly diamond-studded bling, and AR shades of the “Kanye” variety. He looked healthy or even a little bit broad, with none of the malnourishment of his soldiers.

Standing in the back of the room was a harsh-looking German man in a Peace Corps uniform, looking drained. The medical set at his side was barely depleted, having evidently been claimed by the King, rather than distributed to his dying people.

>>18645945

“Americans!”

Kwesi laughed loudly from his chair, exuding the sort of childish glee that only a war criminal can when presented with new toys.

“And what do you bring me today?”

Geppetto stood in front of the Jackal King.

“Guns and money. Whatever you desire, sir. We only ask that the Peace Corps doctor return with us.”

Julienne turned his head toward Geppetto, attention piqued. Kwesi scoffed.

“The doctor is invaluable. He treats me when I become sick, and has many drugs, and the ability to make more. I will need many rifles for him. And much money.”

“Please, King, be reasonable. If you can fathom letting him go, then let us know your price.”

Kwesi growled and tapped himself on the knee. He held an arm out to the side and a bodyguard handed him a diamond-tipped cane, which he began to fiddle with. Eventually he reached his decision.

“AKs. At least five. And one thousand of your American dollars. And your tie. Give me your tie.”

Geppetto stared.

“This is a Sicilian tie.”

“No tie, no deal.”

Dervish and Bend both looked expectantly at Geppetto, and he glared back at them out of spite. Eventually, with a huff, he began to undo his tie.

>>18645955

“I bought this tie SPECIFICALLY to go with this suit. Also, we’ll have your AKs and money to you as soon as we retrieve our hacker. We need to ask Dr. Julienne for something before he ‘rescue’ him.”

Julienne chuckled and spoke up.

“Something told me you weren’t doing this out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Of course not,” said Geppetto, with a cruel smile, as he tossed his tie to Kwesi, “we’re Americans.”

Julienne stepped forward.

“And what is it that you need before I can go back to helping people who truly need me?”

“The third satellite code to locate Two-Times’ bunker.”

Julienne raised his eyebrows, mildly surprised.

“Ah ha. So you were the reason that the German running team shipped in. I imagine there’s not much left of them, is there?”

“Burned to a crisp, to a man.”

“Well, I don’t intend to join them.” Julienne reached into his pocket and produced a small data stick. “Hand this to your hacker.”

>>18645971

Fifteen minutes later, 2D stumbled into the room, breathing heavily with five AK-47s tied to his back.

“Oh my god…guys…there are so many stairs on these things…so many stairs. And these guns are so heavy. Hold up, I gotta catch my breath.”

“We have the third satellite code, 2D.”

2D recovered in half a breath, immediately dropped the AKs on the floor, and lunged for the datastick.

“Oh yeah fucking SCORE!”

2D jacked the datastick in and began thrusting wildly as his brain coordinated three satellite datastreams simultaneously, each bearing a complex encryption code applying to the other two. He slammed through barriers in dataspace bodily, feeling the pressure on his lungs. It was like fucking an earthquake. It was like flying up a waterfall dick-first. It was like being God, if God was on Viagra.

“OH SHIT YEAAAAHHHHNNNNNNNNNG.”

With a thud, 2D soiled his shorts for the third and final time and slammed to the floor with a CLANG. Julienne, the Jackal King, and the African soldiers all instinctively stepped back.

>>18645982

Dervish: “I think that one may have just killed him.”

Bend: “Couldn’t we have, like, went back to the boat first?”

“I FOUND HIM,” screamed 2D, maniacally, as he scrambled onto his elbows and knees. “I FOUND THE FUCKER!”

After a sobering moment of silence, he continued, “But you’re not going to like where the bunker is.”

Geppetto almost resisted the masochistic urge to ask, but asked anyway.

“And that is…?”

“Bogota. Bogota, Aztlan.”

Julienne stroked his chin.

“Huh. I always figured on Greenland or something.”

Dervish brought up the minor, but pressing issue:

“Um. Bogota is an active warzone.”

2D gulped.

“Yeah. I know.”

>>18645994

The team stood awkwardly at the shipping terminal of Nyamkopon International Airport, waiting for the private transport Ares was sending to airdrop them into Bogota. Shipping workers, ghouls and other Infected to a man (although most of them wore hazard suits, to avoid scaring off their international and uninfected visitors) drove past the Shadowrunners in forklifts, carrying refrigerated coffins ambiguously labeled “MEAT.” 2D attempted to leave. Dervish grabbed him by the collar and dragged him back. This was approximately the third time.

Geppetto, who had been resting his eyes and his abused, sunbitten vampire skin, tipped his hat up to look at his hacker.

“2D, stop trying to run away.”

“You can’t make me.”

“I absolutely can. As can Dervish.”

“We’ll be dropped a few miles away from the bunker, 2D. We probably won’t even run afoul of Aztechnology.”

“I hear that if the jaguar warriors capture you, they rape you to death. With jaguar penises.”

Bend, sitting on a meat container and sharpening his knife, coughed involuntarily. Geppetto eyed 2D in disbelief.

“Where the fuck did you hear that?”

“4chan.”

“I figured as much. Look, I think our plane is coming in now.”

As the tilt-rotor transport decelerated overhead and began to settle down, Dervish went on a hunch, and called up Sensei.

>>18646005

“Dervish! Glad I caught you, son. Don’t come home. A bunch of feral goblins burrowed up through the basement. Luckily the sludge spirit on the second floor has started trying to drown them, but the building’s gonna smell like shit for weeks. I grabbed my horse and cart, I’m clearing out for a few days.”

“You have a horse and cart?”

“Well, something resemblin’ a horse and cart, anyway. What can I do you for?”

“Sensei, I’m going to Bogota.”

“Kill some Azzies for me, boy. Make me proud!”

“Well, about that. I’m not signing up militarily. I’m going there on a shadowrun.”

“Oh? And what do you need?”

“I need to get into contact with someone who can get us across the city. We’re going to be airdropped at the South end, but the place we need to get to is in the North. Azzie territory. Our pilot won’t go over the Azzie ground, he’ll get shot down since he runs with Ares. You got anyone? A resistance cell, maybe? I know you fought down there.”

Sensei growled into his commlink.

“Oh, yeah. I got someone. Don’t trust her for a moment, though. She’s a heartless bitch of the worst variety. I regret ever associating with her. Just pay her, stick close, get across the city, and DON’T make any lasting deals with her. She’ll make you rue that decision for the rest of your life.”

Dervish asked, timidly (or at least as timidly as a giant street sam can ask a question),

“So you don’t have anyone who won’t fuck us in the ass?”

“I’m afraid not, son. You find some resistance fighters, and you ask for Mariella Rodriguez. Tell her that El Caballo vouches for you.”

“This is awfully mysterious, Sensei.”

“So’s life. Tell Mariella to rot in hell for me.”

>>18646018

The team dropped in Amazonian Resistance territory at around 0400 hours. Dervish slammed down first, Iron-Man style, followed by 2D flanked by his drones, then Geppetto, and finally Bend, who had served as an actual paratrooper once upon a time. 2D and Geppetto both made asses of themselves on landing, but at least 2D remembered to pack his boots. Geppetto landed hard on his knees in a puddle of mud, ruining his slacks and loafers.

“Well, that was quick.”

Dervish grabbed him by the shoulders, lifted him, and made for a collapsed office building nearby.

“No time to whine about your suit. We’re in an active warzone now. That means you and 2D delegate to Bend. He’s fought the azzies before.”

Bend decloaked in the cover of the building.

“Yeah, and they’re dirty bastards. I’m torn between the pain of having to fight these guys again and the happiness that I might get a chance to put another azzie down.”

2D blinked at Bend.

“That’s, um. That’s a bit of a change of demeanor, Bend.”

“Back in the day, they captured the woman I loved because I fucked up a sabotage run, left a trail. You don’t want to know what they do to their prisoners. I say kill ‘em all.”

There was an awkward pause as Bend peered out a window on the opposite side of the building, then gestured for the team to advance. Gunfire rattled in the distance.

“Intel says that this is one of the traveled resistance routes, but since that relies on satfootage, the azzies probably already know. Which in turn leads me to believe that the route’s fake, and it’s probably crawling with azzies. Hold on, I have a hunch.”

The team followed Bend as he stalked over to the basement door, half-buried under rubble.

“I thought so. Freshly disturbed. Classic resistance maneuver. Literally and figuratively underground.”

>>18646034

Bend cracked the door, only to duck as a clip of AK fire poured through it. The team hit the dirt and 2D’s drones armed as laser sights became visible through the fresh bullet holes in the door. A voice from behind the door called,

“Aztecas! Renden o mueren!”

Bend shouted back,

“No nos disparen! Somos amigos del Caballo!”

There was a brief pause and the gunsmoke dispersed. The lasers lowered.

“Americanos?”

“Si!”

The door opened and the team saw a small squad of Hispanic men wearing roughshod combat gear and wielding assault rifles. One man had leonine features, an obvious shapeshifter, some sort of jungle cat displaced from his home. Another was covered in fetishes, a native magician. The man at the front, a soldier with a cyberarm and dermal deposits, offered a hand to Bend.

“Any friends of the Stallion are friends of ours, as are the Americans who bring us guns and tanks to fight the Aztecs. What is your business here?”

Geppetto stood and spoke.

“We’re looking for Mariella Rodriguez.”

The rebel smiled.

“Come with me. I imagine she’ll want to know how four Americans ended up here, too.”

>>18646044

Mariella Rodriguez was a harsh-looking woman. Her hair was cut short, in a man’s style. She smoked a Cuban cigar, a minor luxury that clashed with her otherwise-stoic appearance. Her ceramic combat armor, an Ares set that doubtless accidentally fell out of a plane (Ares is a principled corporation that would NEVER prolong a conflict for arms sales, you see), was loaded down with additional padding of some sort of tanned hide. She had no less than four sidearms on her person, to say nothing of a prodigious amount of knives. The team found Mariella at an impromptu desk deep in the tunnels, next to a radio, marking spots on a map.

“No, Hernan, don’t take that route, it’s not safe. They cut off radio to Charlie sector, we need to send the scouts in first. Pick up a rigger or two, put them on disposal. And don’t check any corpses! Felipe, grab one of the mobile nexuses and pick up the 3rd mechanized as an escort. We need to get you out of the jammer zone to report back to Metrópole. For the love of Dios, remember the codes this time, I don’t want more reports of friendly fire.”

The rebel leading the team entered the room.

“Ahem. Capitan, sir—“

“Capitan, MA’AM!” Mariella whirled around to glare at the team. “And who are these gringos!? Do we invite our spies in now?”

“These are friends of El Caballo, ma’am.”

Mariella’s expression brightened to one of cheery hostility as opposed to the normal kind of hostility.

“Oh, El Caballo sends you? Well let him know that he is a coward and an asshole for running away from this conflict like a bitch with his tail in between his legs! Pinche Azteca motherfucker!”

>>18646056

Dervish grimaced.

“Hey! Sensei may be Aztec by blood, but he’s got every right to hate them! They made him into a pit-fighter against his will!”

Mariella stared down Dervish.

“And what are you supposed to be? His advocate? His lawyer?”

“His student, ma’am.”

Geppetto stepped in at this point.

“Look, Captain Rodriguez. We just need to get to the other end of the front. We’re independent operatives, and in need of an escort. We can pull our weight in a military setting; in fact, we have more experience in danger than most soldiers. Do you have an in for us or not?”

Mariella spat on the ground.

“Sure, we got a troop movement heading that way later tonight. You got this chance to prove yourself, gringo, and I only take you in at all because El Caballo vouches for you. ONLY because of that man.”

2D squinted.

“Lady, what is it with you and Dervish’s sensei? You hate him but you trust him?”

Mariella held up a fist. Around one finger was a gold ring.

“Of course I trust him! Jose is my dickless coward husband! He’s supposed to be here with me on the front lines butchering azzies but instead he runs off on some hermit kick! Motherfucker!”

The whole team stared for a moment.

“What are you looking at, gringos!?”

Geppetto began to back out of the room.

“Nothing, ma’am. We’ll get ready to head out.”

“Wait,” said 2D. “I got my rigger cocoon shipped out here, and like hell am I walking that whole distance. I’m an out of shape channer without a vehicle; a sitting duck. You need to give me a tank, or something.”

>>18646061

“This is so retarded. I feel like an idiot.”

“Stop complaining, 2D, at least you got a vehicle,” growled Dervish, as he helped 2D install his rigger cocoon in a beaten-up forklift.

“Yeah. A vehicle that handles like a shopping cart and will tip over if a 5-year-old pushes it.”

“2D, did you see the look on Captain Rodriguez’ face? I was surprised she didn’t shoot you in the head.”

“I guess it’s just my winning personality.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Hold up, I think it’s bolted in properly now. Lemme get inside.” 2D climbed into his cocoon. “How do I look?’

“Like a metal burrito with walrus teeth and wheels.”

“Fuck you.”


The team donned their night vision and the heaviest combat armor they could wear (which didn’t amount to much more than bulletproof vests and pads for Geppetto and 2D, but 2D was inside his cocoon), picked up some explosives for utility, and set out in the morning with a platoon of about 20 troops (many of them shifters) and a security hacker carrying a small mobile nexus as a backpack. 2D was escorted by every drone he could muster, consisting of the warcrime bots, his two dragonflies, and a rotodrone armed with a grenade launcher. They moved swiftly through Zona Centrico, keeping cloaks and maintained invisibility spells up as long as they could, making for Zona Norte.

>>18646079

It was the security hacker who called out first,

“Drone strike! Andale!”

Everyone split for the rubble as two heavily-armored steel lynxes rolled down the opposite end of the street. Geppetto, Bend, and Dervish each went to different parts of the surrounding buildings, while 2D turned his forklift into a garage. To his glee, 2D found that the lynxes were networked, and immediately began hacking one of them as an Amazonian rocket crippled the other.

“Targets neutralized,” yelled the hacker as 2D handed control of the other lynx to his nexus, and the first lynx sank under a hail of armor-piercing bullets, “move up! The azzies know we’ve come out to play now!”

The platoon raced through Zona Norte at a run, ducking through alleyways whenever possible. Radar picked up Aztecs moving across the attack site, moving in on the platoon’s tail.

As the group hit a fire station near the border fence into the jungle, the lieutenant in charge of the operation, a jaguar shifter, gestured for the team to go through the fence and continue northwest.

“You got two routes you can take,” he yelled, over the sound of IEDs going off to the south, “the West or the East. East takes you closer to Aztec supply lines, they got a mobile bunker out there. West is mostly jungle, bad place to get ambushed. Either way’ll get you to the coordinates you’re looking for, but I don’t envy you. Stay strong!”

With that, he armed his underbarrel grenade launcher and began heading for the upstairs. “Everyone arm explosives or armor-piercers! First wave is gonna be armor, so don’t hold anything back! Contact in two minutes!”

Not wanting to be a part of the clusterfuck that was doubtless about to happen, 2D plowed his forklift through the fence and the rest of the team followed.

>>18646092

After a quick, terse discussion, the team ultimately decided on taking the jungle route to the west. Sensors of all kinds, including ultrasound, radar, and thermo, were among the team’s strong suits, so they figured that it would be smarter to face a hypothetical ambush with a heads-up instead of facing the Aztecs on their front lines.

As it turned out, it wasn’t much of an ambush, as a scouting Bend had to dive into the underbrush to avoid the notice of six skimmer-hovering mercs in full milspec, armed to the teeth and inbound directly for the team. Bend hit his subvocal.

“Incoming! Everyone grab cover!”

Dervish booted up all of his own armor’s passive systems.

“Roger that. Everyone hold, prepare to fire.”

The first merc over the ridge took a dozen APDS shotgun shells, as Dervish set his autoshotgun to “rock and roll” and emptied the clip. The merc’s skimmer disks sputtered and then gave out entirely, and he bounced and rolled across the ground, trailing loop-de-loops of blood. He eventually came to rest at the foot of 2D’s forklift, looking like a crumpled tin can full of tomato soup that has been jabbed repeatedly with a nail.

“Hoo-rah! AMERICA!”

>>18646112

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDIClNPT7YU

With a “WHUMPH!” Dervish launched over the hill, extending his blades out of the slots in his armor and launching off the ground in a power-armored hulkjump to engage the enemy directly.

The merc that Dervish was targeting only survived because he held his gun, a light machine gun, above his head as Dervish came down. The gun dented, then caved, then fell apart in three pieces as Dervish’s blades sliced clean through it. The merc, extended two katar-like blades out of his armor and lunged for Dervish, countering Dervish’s blows with his wrists.

There was an immensely loud KABLAM and a huge muzzle flash, and a tree behind Dervish split clean in two, like a weed being pulled. Leaves all over the clearing clouded the air, disturbed either by the falling tree or the shockwave from the massive gunshot. 2D yelled into the comm,

“Dicks! That’s an anti-tank gun! Geppetto, you got this one?”

As 2D’s drones rolled past him and opened up on the approaching mercenaries, forcing many of them to drop their skimmers and take cover behind the trees, Geppetto wormed his way through the underbrush towards where the muzzle flash had appeared.

“Almost. Stand by, 2D.”

Bend, on the other side of the field of battle, armed the heavy taser at his belt and began climbing a tree, working his way towards the mercs.

There was another KABLAM from the anti-tank rifle as one of the mercs exploded through a tree, a fist-sized hole punched through his chest. Bits of bone and rib tore like shrapnel through the surrounding foliage. Geppetto chuckled darkly into the comm.

“Mine now. Four still alive.”

>>18646126

With a “WHUNK,” Dervish slammed his fist blade through the chest plating of the merc he was fighting. The merc recoiled and dropped to the ground, clutching his chest.

“Ha! Got you, you FUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Dervish convulsed violently and his visor clouded with blood as he rattled inside his suit from severe nerve damage, dropping to the ground.

Geppetto called to 2D and Bend,

“Powerbolt! The one at the back’s a mage!”

2D punched a few buttons in AR.

“Dervish, if you can hear me, stay down! Everyone else, drop for cover!”

The rotodrone deployed off the top of the forklift and quickly ascended to above the battlefield. Cross-referencing footage from the team’s various sensors, it quickly targeted the mage. From above the battlefield, there was a THOOMP THOOMP THOOMP noise.

Everything went to hell as the frag grenades detonated, turning the mage into scrap metal and paste and sending another merc next to him sprawling. Dervish and the merc he had been fighting rolled violently, both caught slightly in the blast. Dervish recovered first, stumbled to his hands and knees, and slammed his elbow blade through the faceplate of the fallen merc with a loud crunch.

Bend worked his way to behind the slightly-singed anti-tank goon, jammed his taser into the vents in the back of his power armor, and pulled the trigger. Geppetto’s puppet convulsed spasmodically as the metal interior conducted the electricity, and then crumpled into a heap at the foot of the tree.

As the last merc stood, reeling from the explosion, the murderdrones opened fire, putting him down for good in a hail of ballistics that tore up the foliage for meters behind him.

>>18646140

The rotodrone registered an incoming missile mere moments before it exploded out of the sky, its flaming parts dropping onto the battlefield.

“SHIT! MOVE!”

2D floored his forklift forward, tilting dangerously as he weaved through the foliage. The rest of the team scrambled to their feet and tried to keep up the pace behind him. Dervish stumbled, slightly the worse for wear.

As the rotodrone crashed into the foliage behind them, the 3 grenades left in the launcher and the 6 in its ammo box all cooked off, turning the clearing into a maelstrom of fire and shrapnel. The forklift bounced off the ground as the three other team members all involuntarily flew off their feet, knocked flat by the shockwave.

There was a long pause as the crackling of fire began to fill the smoky clearing. 2D asked, experimentally,

“Anyone alive?”

Bend stood up a little ahead of him.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I think Geppetto’s tending to Dervish right now. What was that?”

“The death of a very, very explosive drone. How are you two doing? That missile might mean the azzies are on our tail, and I don’t wanna contend with both Two-Times’ mercs and a bunch of pissed-off Mexicans.”

Dervish walked towards the forklift with Geppetto in tow, his helmet off and a fresh bandage applied to his head.

“Doing okay. Had to take a little while to patch ourselves up after the explosion. The bunker should only be another few miles up.”

“Well, what are you waiting for!? Let’s go!”

“Easy for you to say, forklift-boy.”

The team drove for a few more minutes, with Bend once again scouting ahead in his tacsuit. Bend set his goggles to record, and then forwarded the footage to 2D to show the rest of the team.

“Um, guys? This is a problem.”

>>18646148

Two-Times’ bunker was on top of a cleared hill, with mage-manned firing ports overlooking each hillside in every direction. Surrounding it was a veritable army of mercs who had set up camp, with snipers in four towers around the bunker and four patrolling Crimson Samurai guard drones armed with tank guns.

“Jesus tittyfucking Christ,” remarked 2D, in disbelief. “It’s like a medieval castle.”

The team set up camp in the jungle to plan. I’ll skip over most of the planning, because frankly it took hours to come up with the plan that the team eventually went with. Rather, I’ll just skip to the actual execution of said plan and then go from there.

The guards sighted a vehicle as it rolled through the fence around the compound. Was it a drone? A tank?

It was a forklift with a rigger cocoon. The gaurds popped off a few shots lazily, but the forklift was a durable machine, even if it was pathetic as it slowly limped towards the bunker. Bored, the security rigger finally directed the Crimson Samurai drones to finish it off as it crept a little too close to the bunker for comfort.

The crimson samurai didn’t fire. The rigger tried again, then checked the signal.

…Jammed.

>>18646167

There was an earth-shattering explosion as the forklift rammed the side of the bunker and then opened on the side facing the bunker, revealing a man-sized blob of plastic explosive studded with grenades. A large hole caved into the side of the bunker and the merc mages inside toasted, dying instantly. Smartjammer held aloft, Bend directed for the team to follow him, and with a POW, Geppetto took out the relevant sniper on the hole’s side of the compound before dropping into invisibility. Holding 2D like a damsel in distress, Dervish jetted into the open hole, sliding into the bunker, followed by the Steel Lynx drones, which immediately spun to face the exits and wound up their miniguns.

The team was inside the bunker, surrounded by hostile mercenaries and vastly outnumbered. The only way to go by this point was down. The team descended to an iron door as the drones began firing at the mercenaries. Bend took the opportunity to grab a fallen keycard. With one swipe, they were in.

The first room seemed empty, save for a single hatch in the center that looked like it led down. However, as they edged into the room, Geppetto went on a hunch and assensed.

>>18646191

Above them, in cages presumably triggered by walking fully into the room, were drop bears, vicious magical koalas used as security paracritters. They looked hungry.

“Okay, here’s how it goes,” said Geppetto, very lightly. “Bend and I cloak and get the hatch. Only then do you dash in, and we all jump down. We good?”

The rest of the team gulped and nodded.

Geppetto and Bend rushed forward and threw open the hatch. Through a rain of murderous, screeching koalas, Dervish and 2D jumped down the hole into the next room, followed almost immediately thereafter by Geppetto and Bend. Geppetto, 2D, and Dervish all landed in a gigantic pile, while Bend flipped the hatch shut. There were loud raking sounds as the drop bears began to work on the steel of the hatch.

“That won’t last for too long, so we’d best keep going down,” noted Bend.

The second room was another featureless tunnel like the first, with yet another hatch. This time, though, it was 2D who stopped the team.

“Look at where we are. We’re in a tiny box of a room. You know what would fuck us now and leave no survivors? A bomb.”

>>18646213

2D took Bend’s power drill and, operating in hackvision(tm), drilled through a portion of the second hatch to uncover a small red patch of surface.

“As I suspected. This is amateur hour, really. Spoken as a former terrorist.”

With careful work over the next few minutes, 2D disarmed the bomb, although the second hatch looked like swiss cheese by the time he was done with it. The scratching continued from above.

“No worries, I totally just saved all of us from dying horribly. Let’s see what the next level of this ridiculous kill-bunker holds.”

The third room was considerably larger than the first two, with a blast door in back and some kind of large vehicle in the center. It was dark as shit, and had sloped walls almost like…

2D moaned, as floodlights activated on either side of the room, “An arena!”

The ‘large vehicle’ in the center was a Mitsuhama Chinpira, a three-and-a-half-meter tall anthropoid walker drone with four arms, each armed with a chaingun. Two missile banks protruded from its shoulders.

“THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS,” screamed 2D, as he booked it for the opposite end of the room, deploying his dragonfly drones.

The rest of the team was just content to scream other garbled curses as they split and the drone started firing.

2D was the first to go down, as a bullet swept his leg out from under him. He screeched in pain as it blasted a huge chunk of meat out of his calf, sending him sprawling. He cried out, to his dragonflies,

“The eyes! Go for the eyes!”

>>18646221

Its arms swung wildly to grasp him, smashing one of 2D’s dragonflies out of the air while the second carved a deep gash through its primary cameras. Blinded, it resorted to sonar, but was distracted by the loud noises already filling the space. It began firing wildly at all the walls, giving the team an opportunity to slide a few EMP grenades directly under it.

With a “FOOM” the Chinpira stopped moving, sparking wildly from multiple ports. Dervish jumped off of it, his own armor reacting adversely.

2D stumbled to his feet, producing a medkit from his backpack and doing what little he could to patch his mangled leg together, as Geppetto issued more comprehensive magical healing.

“I swear, if this next room has ninjas or something I’m going to kill myself.”

The next room had two things, and neither of them were ninjas.

>>18646233

They were an adorable scottie dog, and a tridscreen, from which a very-satisfied looking man beamed. Two-Times the hacker was African-American, with a youthful face that seemed positively built for the cruel smile he was currently displaying. He had sunglasses and a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, which obscured his face but did nothing to hide the multitude of wiring protruding from his forehead and the back of his shaved cranium. He worked an AR window in the foreground, chuckling lightly.

“Welcome, welcome, gentlemen. I have an announcement to make.”

Dervish’s shoulders slumped. Bend gawked, despairing.

“No way.”

“Oh, yes way, Sean Falstaff, Tir Ghost turned shadowrunner. That announcement is that you have approximately thirty seconds to live.”

There was a sudden flow of light into the room as a secondary hatch opened in the ceiling, offering a clear path to the sky.

“I finally succeeded in compromising the Ares global network. You were quite the impediment, but I managed it. First I used it to hire a truly prodigious amount of mercenaries and Shadowrunners, but that was child’s play. No, my masterwork will be your deaths.”

2D slammed his hands onto the screen.

“Can the villain speech, it doesn’t work for nerds. What the fuck are you talking about?”

Two-Times grinned ear-to-ear, and then the feed cut to a view of the earth from orbit.

“I have obtained one more satellite, courtesy of the proud Americans at Ares Macrotechnology. A Thor Shot.”

>>18646245

The entire team looked up slowly, except for 2D.

“Someone didn’t bank on a technomancer jamming his communications open.”

“What?”

2D slammed his hands onto the screen and activated his trodes, convulsing wildly as he back-hacked Two-Times across the world. For a brief moment he was in a nexus in a forest in Newfoundland, and then…

Then he was in space, his icon standing across from a featureless, muscular humanoid flanked by black IC. The enemy icon was working hard at decrypting a barrier surrounding, appropriately enough, the icon of a giant red button.

“I’ll make you suffer for this,” echoed Two-Times.

“I’ll make you die,” responded 2D, as two fault sprites moved to assist him in an overclocked Black Hammer, manifesting as something similar to a gigantic “hadoken.”

2D’s icon responded in kind, blasting at 2D with a hammer of its own. Both hackers convulsed, one in the bunker and one visible in vidscreen, as their icons began to decompile. Manifesting melee weapons (a visualization of Attack suites), both hackers closed and engaged in a gory battle for their very lives.

>>18646257

Whoops, should have linked this last post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoSp2Ovo3cc

The ending of the brawl was not a traditional happy one, as with a fell blow, 2D’s icon decompiled, and in the real world 2D’s biomonitor made a shrill noise as he flatlined and slumped against the wall, bleeding from his tear ducts.

“Oh no,” said Geppetto, advancing on 2D’s lifeless body, “I am not dying in a goddamn SHITHOLE like BOGOTA, COLUMBIA!”

He planted his hands flat on 2D’s chest, and summoned up the highest-force heal spell he could muster. He visibly took injury as magic coursed from his pale hands into 2D, eventually collapsing into unconsciousness with his veins bulging from the drain.

In a satellite high above Earth, Two-Times the hacker finally breached the barrier around the Thor Shot’s controls.

>Set_fire: unrestricted
>Password: purplemountainsmajesties1776
>Confirmation code: qQigT1sixA
>Secondary confirmation: kyfms5tN66
>Set_target: Botoga
>Arm Thor Shot

Another icon logged onto the system.

>>18646266

“Hi there.”

Before Two-Times could react, he was ganked by a blackout. His icon’s movement stopped, briefly stunned.

2D’s icon approached the red button, fiddling with details in the space around them.

>Disarm Thor Shot
>Set_target: Newfoundland
>Arm Thor Shot
>Fire

In space, 2D could see a huge tungsten rod falling. And, in an instant, Two-Times’ icon disappeared.

“Well. That was that.”

>>18646283

In the real world, 2D fell back from the tridscreen, collapsing against the opposite wall.

Geppetto spoke first.

“Is it done, 2D? Are we going to die?”

2D rasped.

“It’s over. Gimme that fucking scottie dog.”

The dog lapped blood off of 2D’s face as he sighed and sank down against the wall. He set his one remaining dragonfly drone to hovering in front of his face, acting as an impromptu camera.

“Now amscray. Get Mr. Johnson on the line. I got something to do.”

1 MONTH LATER

In the Ares Seattle compound, Mr. McWilliams adjusted the wedding band on his finger. He gulped against the fabric of his American-flag tie. It felt like a noose. He sat down at his desk, looking out at the office full of nerds sitting at nexi in front of him. One of them adjusted his glasses and looked expectantly at McWilliams.

“Uh…sir?”

McWilliams coughed twice, and lowered his manicured beard before the building intercom.

>>18646299

“Attention, everyone. This is Mr. McWilliams. From now on you will know me as Security Director McWilliams. I will control the robots that keep you safe. I will coordinate Ares’ good American soldiers in the Seattle metroplex. First and foremost, I will commit myself to making this compound a better place to live, work, and play. I want all security concerns reported to me directly or, failing that, one of my spiders.

…and so help me god, if one of you tries to sell out the company or get extracted, I will have you jacked in to the Firewatch training UV node in hotsim dressed as a muslim man with an AK-47.

Heh. Sorry. Company policy. Ahem.

I’m instituting a harsher policy on security concerns, but I intend to espouse a more positive and synergistic environment than the previous Head of Security. I’ll keep my office door unlocked except during a time of crisis. Feel free to ask me whatever you want. I’ll answer as best I can. And, um. I’ll try not to troll you, I guess. Unless it’s really funny, or you’re a dipshit. If you’re a dipshit I’m firing you.”

As Security Director McWilliams sat down, the nerds in his office began to clap. He wasn’t sure if they were being sarcastic or not, but he didn’t give a fuck. They could suck a dick.

>>18646312

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZWQRaY0Tns

Absently, he turned his AR glasses to the news.

>NEWFOUNDLAND EXPLOSION EXPLAINED?
>This message was found posted to an anonymous messageboard early yesterday morning. No source has been able to verify it, and world governments are decrying it as a fake and a cheap, insensitive cash-in on the tragedy that leveled a large portion of Canada’s natural forests. The video, depicting a masked hacker with mystery iconography superimposed over his face and voice modification, is not for the faint of heart, and we implore the viewers to make their own decisions.

>Ahem…shit. Is this thing on?

>[coughing noises]

>Hello. Hello to whoever gets this video, I guess. Hi, anons. Glad to see you around.

>I am the source of the explosion that destroyed miles of Newfoundland forest three minutes ago.

>I emphasize the timing as a method of verifying my claim, but I suppose that there are those who will cry fake anyway. And I guess that’s fine. There will always be dipshits on the internet, just like how there aren’t any girls.

>That’s a joke. I’m sorry, I’m nervous.

>I recognize that I may now be one of the greatest cyberterrorists in history. I guess…I didn’t want to be ignominious about it. No more anon. I’m not going to pretend that it was just some mystery guy who did it.

>>18646326

>I think it’s, like, customary or something that crazy fuckers who set off bombs give a manifesto. I have a little experience in that, but not enough to prepare me for this one. So, I guess, here goes. I’m not going to make it too preachy, bear with me.

>Ahem.

>Do you idiots have any idea what really goes on in the Shadows?

>I mean, do you?

>I don’t just mean Shadowrunners, your multi-million-nuyen action movie franchise headers. I know that you idiots know the parlance. That crime TV show taught you “Mr. Johnson.” You know what a street samurai is, and how to differentiate a face from an infiltrator.

>But, I mean, aside from the sanitized guns-and-tits bullshit you see in the trids, do any of you really get what happens underneath your noses?

>Criminals run the world. Terrorists, mafia, gangs, shadowrunners. Some of them sit behind desks in offices and do more damage than all the gangs put together. It’s all a gigantic circlejerk of increasingly ludicrous theft and violence.

>And that’s the status fucking QUO. I mean, what the fuck? I have made more of a difference being a professional dirtbag than I would in ten lifetimes of wage-slavery. What’s up with that?

>I’m monologuing. It’s probably the blood loss. I’m not a philosopher, or, or, or, a psychologist. I’m a scared kid who hacked a Thor Shot. Because I had to.

>I’m going to be disappearing from the Shadows for a while. Naivety is looking pretty damn good right now.

>Just…think.

>Seriously, think. Think about the world you live in. And what you choose not to see, and what you choose not to do.

>It could save your life.

SHADOWRUN STORYTIME 8: END.

>>18646337

With that, I gotta run my own game. I'll pop back in and see the kind of reception I get if you guys keep the thread alive.

>>18645891

Oh wow, this is really dumb, but it's Shadowrun Storytime 9, not 8. Also this thread is on the 6th page already, so I'm a little worried that everyone missed it.

>>18646454
It probably suffered from the annoying instant auto-sage thingy.

>>18646475

I hate to say it, but at this point it's basically up to /tg/ to keep this alive. I really REALLY have to go, and even if I post all it does is autosave.

Failing Storytime discussion, try to turn this into a Shadowrun General thread!

Damn, you typed that up in a jiffy, didn't you?

>>18646673

Indeed I did. And autosage is punishing me for it.

We love you, TwoDee. You are the fluffy marshmallowey goodness at the center of the hostess snack cake.

>>18646673
He heard our comments.

Also,

BUBBLES APPROVES.

MORE STORIES, SHADOWMEATS?

FUCK YES THIS THREAD

>>18646960

Not till I finish my own game.

Man, at the rate this is autosaging, I may just start a new thread.

>>18646515
I don't even remember what possessed me to read through your stories in the archives one evening but I am so glad I did.

Shadowrun storytime ranks right up there with Deep Rot and Ozzmar in my book and I enjoy the hell out of it.

>>18646266

Oh wow, I misspelled "Bogota" as "Botoga" here. Bleh.

It's a damn shame that the dramatic conclusion of 2D's shadowrunning career went into autosage before people could get to reacting to it.

>>18646337
You are a wonderful person and reading about your adventures is one of the things that makes /tg/ worthwhile. Consider yourself to have made the world a more enjoyable place by sharing your tales.

>>18647503

Maybe repost the finale at the start of the next thread?

I found this using the catalog. More people should really use that.

Opened up new thread at >>18647754

With any luck it'll let people know that this one exists.

Hooray! Shadowrun storytime!

I know as much about Shadowrun as I do about theoretical physics. But even then, these threads are a great read!

'shame about 2D, though, even if it is a good end to his character arc. What will the team do without his expertise/antics?

>>18646257

Er, this should read "Two-Times' icon responded in kind."