>>18146698
...did that fool just try to act like Yosemite Sam?

What's this, are you roleplaying Strike Witches?

Can I be Perrine?

>>18146698
Is it Ian? It's Ian. We broke Ian.

Why do i get the feeling we are about to have a horribly inappropriate/necessary encounter?

>>18146761

I think we've got an old friend to see us.

Check for injuries.

Our injuries. Ian may have shot MC.

>>18146698
Oh shit I think Ian managed to disengage from Perrine and is coming for us. EVASIVE ACTION.

>>18146698

"Sorry," Katherine says, not sounding sorry at all. She twirls a revolver around her finger with deft skill, smacking back into the holster on her hip with a satisfying SMACK! of steel-on-leather.

You squint at the gun.

"That cannot be a Colt," you say evenly.

"Single Action Army!" Katherine declares proudly. "Single action is the mark of a true marksman!"

"You shot a gun at me," Sakamoto says in a distant voice.

"They're just blanks, scaredy-cat," Katherine objects. "I'm not CRAZY or anything."

Your eyes track to the ceiling and find a small hole in it. You wisely say nothing.

"So, uh, Minna," you say, crouching to address her where she huddles under a table. "You want to talk about terrifying and depressing War Stuff that will probably lead to suicidal sorties?"

Minna eyes Katherine O'Hare. "If we can do it outside? In a fucking heartbeat."

"You're INSANE!" Luuchini declares, almost bouncing around as she circles Katherine. "Can I try? Can I?"

"Sure!" Katherine says, drawing the revolver, and Minna hauls you along as half the Witches bail out of the pub and the other half dive to dogpile O'Hare.

"Okay," Minna says a few minutes later, leaning against the brick wall of the pub. "We're outside. We're alone. What did you want to tell me?"

"I've got a theory about the beams and stuff. It has to be connected to Trude's sister."

She gives you a dubious look. "How, exactly?"

"Uhm."

>wat say

>>18146716
Son, you are in for the archive binge of your life.
>>18146698
>pulling gun tricks in WORLD WAR ALIUM
Yep, she's American all right.

>>18146772
are we the chew toy for the universe or something? leave us alone for a couple weeks!

>>18146698
This one be crazy. She fits right in.

Oh boy, who did we piss off this time?

>>18146781
>>18146772
>>18146754

No, O'Hare has a habit of dicking around with a SAA that is usually loaded with blanks.

>>18146716
No MC is a pilot out to not them witches down to the negative pegs out of shear not giving a fuck.

also if you're from /a/ get the fuck out.

>>18146714
>>18146714

In a word, YES. It's in her nature, apparently.

>>18146784
Crazy nonsensical rantings that make us sound like ANCIENT ALIENS guy. And Minna somehow understands perfectly.

>>18146798
It's never loaded with blanks.

Ans now the constant baseless speculation bites us in the arse. Good going guys.

>>18146784
"Well you see they never did find her body right? Well ALL of the beams cross at a point not too terribly far from the hospital. Im starting to think this whole invasion is a cover to retrieve her and take her back to Normandy. And dear god if they get their hands on a witch....."

>>18146784
OUTSIDE A PUB ALONE WITH MINNA

HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE

Joking aside, relay info

>>18146798

Those aren't blanks. She NEVER uses blanks.

>>18146698
>>18146784
Yup. I definitely like the new girl.

>>18146784
Chris goes missing

Magic/psionic/wonky component to the radio transmissions

Beams

Martians attack immediately after

>>18146784
Beams. Beams everywhere. Missing witch. Sanya. Explain everything our radio expert got.

>>18146784
Hmm.... I need to go back into the archive and check a few dates.

>>18146784
We've brought back ocelot with us

GOOD JOB

>>18146784
Well, the Alium beams seem to be converging on her last known position, for one. Plus how when Sanya accidentally intercepted the transmissions she saw the the hospital along with all the other places that got attacked by infiltrators. Coupled with the fact that Chris is MIA, its too much to be a coincidence.

>>18146834
>>18146836
bedoop

>>18146798
>O'Hare has a habit of dicking around with a SAA that she claims to be loaded with blanks.

>>18146784
>wat say
"See, radar triangulation- Sanya hearing- rockets tracking Martian beams for targeting- because she's a witch, right, and they'd need one- north of London, I'm sure of it!"

>>18146784
And after all that it turns out the whole "Trude's sister" WAS in character. Colour me surprised.

>Gensokyo Gal XV

In terms you're likely familiar with; this is like "You Wake Up In Gensokyo" except in WWII, which is also War of the Worlds, and with fighter planes and dogfights everywhere. And gritty PTSD shooting harem endings right in the dick.

So, uh, nothing like YWUIG, I guess. Sorry. Nevermind.

>>18146842
You didn't get suspicious at >>18145879 ?

>>18146784
explain how the beams converge in locatios were family and friends of witches are located "they cannot take sparklies head on so they're going for demoraliziing them out of combat"

>>18146784
Look around to make sure Trude isn't around.
"Okay, look. You know that Chris wasn't found. That hospital was in London. All of the radar beams are going towards someplace north of London.
"The Martians aren't stupid; weird, inhuman, but not stupid. Witches have been one of the biggest thorns in their side during this whole war. They've had access to German family records, right?
"The pieces fit: the radar beams, the locations, the timing of the attacks!"

>>18146754
"No for the last time I did not say that for the love of god shut up no no I'm trying to get off your lap you crazy French pastry stop squirming it's not making it any easier okay fuck this."
*BLAM*

>>18146852
>>18146852
>>18146852

This is in line with our understanding of all the magic and radio wonkery. Deliver it verbatim.

>>18146870
I don't get the sense martians understand human psychology well enough to do warfare on that front.

>get the other thread chived

>>18146888

They tried brute force attacks under stealth

They've tried suberfuge,

They've tried misdirection

They've tried brainwashing

But shooting for the soft underbelly of the war machine doesn't cross their mind?

>>18146898
I was gonna guess they wanted someone with some magical potential to do experiments on. Chris is related to a witch, but not super heavily protected herself.

>>18146898
They don't UNDERSTAND HUMAN MINDS. This has been very clearly demonstrated in their weird as fuck tactics.
All they know is WITCH IN COMA IN HOSPITAL EASY TARGET GOGOGO

>>18146898
If the chicken cross that road I doubt it got much further.

>>18146909
This kind of reasoning is far more likely. Cold cruel unemotional practicality.

Another thing. Chris was missing from the hospital BEFORE the rockets hit. The aliens certainly didn't dig her out of the rubble faster than the repair crews. That means the hospital WAS the target, not one of several. They sent multiple rockets because they needed to cover their tracks and knew that we would probably shoot some down. (which we did)

>>18146909
>>18146914

What i'm trying to say is that it's a testament to their oddity that they tried far more ridiculous techniques, when simpler strategies (Like attacking the wounded or incapped, finding out how they tick) would have come first in a humans mind.

Let's be honest... Even in SWQ, if we ever had the resources, we'd go full X-Com on the aliens.

>>18146877
This is the most reasonable presentation of the evidence so far.

It has my vote.

PF is therefore likely to take the craziest version possible, and somehow she still figures it out.

>>18146924
OR Chris wasn't even taken in the first place, like someone suggested last thread. Or the one before.

>>18146945

If she wasn't wounded, I'd believe it.

She was in that hosipital for a reason... Not to be morbid, but we'd have found her body by now if she decided to go for a stroll.

>>18146914
>weird as fuck tactics
>sea assault an aerial base
>bumrush european powerhouses, let the countrybumpkings starve
>ICBM the most resilient stronghold then landwar the debilitated defenses while they expect air raid
>keep their heavy hitters preoccupied whit tiny diversionary forces while you set up FOBs in their recently lost homelands

men has NEVER used such insane tactics.

>>18146945
After all this time? They would have found what remained of her... or are you talking about something else?

>>18146784
You have Zucchini down pat.

Trollan. Trollan everywhere!

Whatever we say, we should probably mention where the transmitters we found were.

>>18146961
She might have wandered off. But like >>18146953 said, we don't actually know the extent of her injuries so she probably wasn't in any condition for it.

The cliff hanger is inevitably going to be trude overhearing the conversation.

Fuck it, I can't stay up any longer. Has someone archived this yet?

>>18146983
In the anime, she was in a coma.

>>18146985
Oh, that's a good call.

>>18146989
nah, I'll use the cliffhanger quote for this one

My internet literally just died for twenty minutes there, sorry. FUCKING VERIZON. Wrapping this up now.

One thing--can we get an update on what we missed while we were gone? It must not be anything earth-shattering, or she would have said it up front, rather than asking us what we wanted to talk about. But, it'd be nice at some point to know if anything important happened.

>>18147009
You... you have FIOS?

ALL MY RAGE.

>>18147024
Verizon also has DSL.

>>18147009

Wrapping up tonight's session? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!

If Chris isn't a witch, but is from the same family as a witch. That could mean she does have some degree of talent, or at least a LOT more than an average person. Sanya went nuts because she was exposed to the martian signal beams while trying to sleep. And Sanya was affected because she has the whole magic radar/signal talent.

What if Chris has the same ability? ALL of the martian signal beams are focused on a single location nearby where Chris went missing. If she is in a coma, she would essentially be asleep this entire time. And even if she isn't, she is in all likelihood located at ground zero for all of these broadcasts.

>>18147049
>What if Chris has the same ability?
It's okay man, you can have my tinfoil, I'm not using it for anything...

>>18147049
...Was she in a coma BECAUSE of her magical ability? Something like Sanyas talents but so strongly effected it keeps her like that?

>>18147070

>>18147066

It's not an impossiblity.

We can afford to be paranoid if we are willing to wait until we have data from the situation. Hypotheticals allow us to be prepared for unexpected situations...

Like a brainwashed strike-witch loaded up with martian hardware and set loose on the British countryside...

>>18147088
Brainwashed?
Please they are gonna use her genes to make ALIUM witches!

>>18147070
In the anime she suffered injuries during a neuroi attack which cause the coma. Depends on how loosely planefag is following canon events.

>>18147082
>tinfoilhat.jpg
Why does is not called tinfoilCAT.jpg?

>Inb4 Planefags internet cut out again

>>18147093
>they are gonna use her genes
>RAPE

"So, uh, those Martian signals are narrow directional broadcasts, right? And at least a few of them converge near that hospital Trude's sister was in, right? And it's really weird that she just like went poof, right? And all this went down right before a major invasion is launched, so I figure, like..."

Minna is giving you The Look.

"... like. There's stuff. Happening."

"And that's it?" Minna says, looking extremely dubious.

"One more thing," you say. "Sanya had her mind flooded by Martian mindfuckery just because she was asleep near one of the broadcasts. Like a radio with the tuner removed, pulling in every signal nearby. And there's some... weird component to the Martian signals. You know... Martian-y."

That means "possible psionic factors" but Minna reads between the lines well enough. "Right, so?"

"How long has Trude's sister been in a coma?"

Minna gasps. "Oh, shit."

"Exactly."

Minna points behind you. You turn and see Trude staring at you, shocked.

"Oh, shit," you say.
NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES: STIRLING&STIRLING: WE DELIVER!

STRIKE WITCHES will resume THURSDAY, Same Time, because why the fuck not?

>>18147098
Because cat is does not of tinfoil made.

>>18147093
>Please they are gonna use her genes to make ALIUM witches!

>>18147098
Because i just saved it to post at paranoiaguy?

>>18147093
New waifu aquired!

Its not so scary if they get their hands on one witch and cant really do anything else with her other than use her as a magic battery/weapon. No what IS terrifying is if they manage to learn how to PRODUCE witches. That scenario is literally game over humanity.

Alpha Legion intelligence agency, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

>>18147088
>Like a brainwashed strike-witch loaded up with martian hardware and set loose on the British countryside...

JESUS CHRIST STOP FEEDING PLANEFAG IDEAS

>>18147114
CALLLLLLLLLLLLED IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

>>18147114
"Oh, shit" indeed.

>>18147114
Use Minna as a human shield time is go!

>>18147114
>>18146985
Why. Why do you people constantly give him ideas.

Also: FUCK YEAR, my evening class got canceled that day.

>>18147114
I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT.

WHO NEEDS THE TINFOIL NOW HUH?!

>>18147114
Hm. Someone called it earlier.
You're starting to slip, planefag! No tears tonight! Except the ones from laughing so hard earlier.

>>18147114
FAAAANEPLAAAAAAAG

>>18147149
Sanya and Chris, apparently.

>>18147114
Trude really needs to stop creeping around us.

FINALLY I CAN SLEEP. Updated to 37. Have a lovely day everyone.

http://www.mediafire.com/?t9h80ijwtooq8yv

>>18147114
I'm not even mad, I'm grateful that I can finally go to sleep.

>>18147114
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I'm gonna laugh when they discover that tinfoil really does disrupt martian beams or whatever. Then we can really wear tinfoil hats and not feel like morons!

>>18147114
>>18147114

ffFFFUUUUUUOoooh, hell. we had a good run tonight, my friend. I ain't even mad. See you Thursday!

>>18147149

Honestly, I wasn't even planning on that, I figured the CHRIS BARKHORN IS UNDER ALIEN CONTROL thing would be enough, but I never, ever miss an oppertunity to make a character's life excessive shit-tacular.

I AM A BAD MAN

>>18147135
Dude it was obviously planned from the start of the quest.
You need the tinfoil due to WHAT IF MAGIC ALIUMS COMA PATIENT WALKABOUT

Okay, so, plan to deal with Chris:
Zorch her with radar/radio, Trude disarms and/or KOs. Ian maybe possibly frags her Strikers.

>>18147176
Psst, hey, you going back on IRC or bailing for the night?

>>18147176
>CHRIS BARKHORN IS UNDER ALIEN CONTROL

O_O I heard "the noise". I'll be under my porch with my shotgun and a flashlight if anyone needs me.

>>18147176
Trude gets slapped so much...

>>18147176
>I AM A BAD MAN

Yes, yes you are.

>>18147190

Baling. I too need sleep.

To people who work AM shifts I AM SORRY

>>18147214
Twas glorious bro and hey i get to look forward to PLOT ADVANCEMENT....fucking finally.

>>18147114
Lock and load, girls, we're going HUNTIN'!

>>18147214
>SORRY
lies

>>18147214
Roger that. Next time I get the chance I'll harass you about that thing, when you're not running SWQ.

>>18147190
We still have an IRC? During quest hours? Bleh.

Well if it can't be avoided just make sure to post it next time.

"Yes, Trude. You did hear all that. Your sister has been FUBAR'd by the martians, so what are you going to do about it? Sulk and lose all hope, or are you going to grow a pair and get some payback?"

That's it! From now on, Chris does not even TOUCH the Skyranger. She gets to defend the base from a closet, or something.

>>18147279
... The fuck are you talking about?

actually considering how microwaves are blocked by tinfoil...

tinfoil helmets for dem witches isn't actually a bad idea.

NOW TINFOIL HATS WILL KEEP THE ALIUMS OUT

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>18147298

It's an X-Com joke.

Rookies with low psi defence can be panicked or brainwashed. He's joking that *when* we get her back, we're gonna have her stationed in a closet back at castle Barin.

*When*

When...

>>18147321
Ahh, that makes far more sense.

>>18147321
And FUCK YOU we are getting her back. NO MATTER GODS DAMN WHAT! If we dont we lose them fucking game.

>>18147342
Damn right, we are giving a fuck and we're following through on that investment so we never need give one again.

>>18147321
Yes. When.

Because fuckall if we aren't going to be the big damn hero for everyone we meet.

I would've liked to be flying the Widow for that, but sadly it wasn't in the cards.

>>18147354

The widow had its adventure too... We've saved the witches twice with it, and probably turned the tide during the naval battle.

She couldn't go all the way with us though, and we need to respect that.

We'll be back to her soon enough... Get that nose art on er.

>>18147386
She gave her all for us. She deserves a rest. And a tuneup. And some repairs. And a commendation. And a goddam bath. Just like us really. Fucks sake guys, when is the last time we actually SLEPT?! In a BED?!

And now were even deeper in shit. I totally called it on the alium brainwashing. Lets follow that logic a bit further

1. Chris has been in a coma for along time
2. Aliens are broadcasting Psi signals
3. Sanya succumbed to the signals in a few days and she only caught a bit of the full magnitude.

Ergo:

1. Chris wasn't abducted, she woke up under alien control and escaped the hospital.
2. The buzz bombs were sent to wipe out all evidence.
3. Chris is now hiding somewhere in the vicinity of London
4. If Chris is awake that means she can actively fight back against the controlling signals.
5. The aliens turned the signals up to 11, to maintain control or to... provide power?

Ergo:

1. The aliens mounted a massive assault on Britain. But this isn't just a straight up attack, this is a EXTRACTION. And we need to stop it fucking ASAP or Chris is never coming back.
2. If we triangulate the beams and locate ground zero, we find Chris.
3. If the transmitters are destroyed the signals weaken.

The only way out of this mess is to capture and subdue Chris. Get her into a signal shelter ala Sanya, and mount simultaneous attacks on all major transmitters. I hope the Richelieu and Spee survived, cause were going to need more dakka...

>>http://pastebin.com/u/LegioCI
>>Since everyone always wonders where the collection is. I'll probably actually edit and fix mistakes on that too!


“Alexandria Field, this is Tomcat Oh-Two-Actual requesting clearance to land.” Below he could just make out the outline of Fortress Alexandria, perched atop a hill overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. The voice that came in reply was, of course, female. The voice was crisp with just a hint of an accent James couldn’t identify- definitely not European, probably Japanese- they had a pretty big stable of Witches, and a lot of them had plenty of experience flying over China and Korea before the Martians had dropped in.
“Tomcat Flight, you are cleared for landing on runway oh-one.” Yep, definitely Japanese. And, from the accent-transcending iciness in her voice, none too pleased about the arrangements. Of course, for all the shit that the 48th had talked about the witches, the idea of moving from a dustball prefab airbase somewhere west of Bumfuq to a fully-furnished Witch Base had been greeted with the enthusiasm some children reserve for Christmas. The excitement came from the combination of Real Food, a better supply chain, and magic pantless and apparently female people running around. (Roughly in that order, as well.)

“Roger, Alexandria Field. Thank you, kindly.” He couldn’t help but add the slight Texan drawl that he’d picked up from Huntsman. “Alright, Tomcats, two by two, starting with Blue Flight. Me and Flip’ll stay up and cover you.” The kid had definitely found his place in the squadron, despite being there less than a month. He got along well with everyone, knew his shit in the air and was a damn good artist, leastwise better than the two guys Franklin had beat the shit out and chased off for painting his plane. (He’d later found himself rather enjoying the “irony of such a disgustingly racist caricature being painted on the plane of the finest negro pilot in the Army Air Corps” and had kept “Black Betty”.)

And two-by-two the P-38’s descended, perhaps the first male-piloted fighters to do so in the Fortress’s operational history, it was probably a historical moment. James just wanted to get on the ground before one of the pilots got themselves killed. Ten minutes later he was rolling to a stop and not a minute too soon as he already saw a girl squaring off against Bozo, backed by another three witches.

“Oi! HEY! What in the fuck, Bozo?!”

The Blue Flight pilot turned to acknowledge James, and in that second the witch struck, delivering a wicked jab to his turned head. And from there, it was a melee. The other three witches squared off against the rest of Blue Flight, with the rest of the 48th pilots wisely pulling themselves back. “Hey! Dammit! BREAK IT UP!” James tried to get in between the two groups and force them apart, and was rewarded with one of Bozo’s stray punches, knocking him back and nearly to the ground. The pilots were larger, and Mancini at the very least had been in the odd scrap more than once, but the girls were fast and, well, fast.

He was just getting himself ready to have another go at breaking up the brawl when a gunshot echoed down the runway and everything froze. Slowly, the congregation looked towards the source, a tiny, angry Asian woman holding what looked in her hands to be a grossly oversized M1911. “Listen up. I’m only gonna say this once and then I’m gonna be angry. I want you boys back over there, and you girls to your barracks, now.”

Silently and with their eyes glued to the girl with the gun, the two groups separated; the four witches slinked back off towards the main building, shooting venomous glances back towards the pilots. Blue flight attempted to both skitter back behind James and attempted to do so in a way that kept their pilot’s coolness. It wasn’t terribly effective.

>>18147508

Destroying the transmitters is going to be ridiculously difficult if they are as far into martian territory as we assume.

It's going to be tight... but I think we may be force to take the "befriend the shit out of Chris" route.

Alien support is going to be ridiculous... They're mounting a full assault on Britain as a DISTRACTION god damn it.

We need interference from Sean
We need precision from Ian
We're gonna need the whole 501st on this for force.

And most importantly... We're gonna need the biggest shit eating grin and shiniest pair of aviators in both universes. We know this is going to end up being a battle of beyond strength of arms or tech.

We're gonna need to call on a higher power... We're gonna need.

Every, last, fuck, we've, got.

The girl holstered her weapon. “You got a handle on these chucklefucks?” She asked in a surprisingly good American accent. She must’ve seen the confusion on his face about this fact, since she added with rolled eyes, “I was born in Portland. Think you can control these assholes until your CO gets here?”

James blinked, trying to reorganize his pilotly essence. “What if you’re talking to him?” He said indignantly.

The girl rolled her eyes again. “First off, Chucklefuck Number One over there belted you pretty good in that fight and neither of you have batted an eye at it.” James threw an angry glance back at Bozo, remembering the fact.

“Sorry, ‘bout that Knight.” He said apologetically.

The girl continued. “Second, I’ve met Captain Bristol. And thirdly, it figures that the White Knight couldn’t resist dicking around in someone else’s fight, good to see you finally got popped for it for once.”

By now James had recovered and adapted to the situation. “And what about you, eh? Your girls just out here for a tan? Bet they got exactly what they wanted: a brawl with those barbaric male pilots, just what you guys need to send us off packing, eh? A good scrap an a bloodied witch nose? Looks real good.”

“You dumbshi-“ The girl started before she was interrupted.

“Lt. Chin.”

The girl snapped to attention. “Commander.”

“Why was there a fight on my field?”

“I wasn’t here to see how it started but-“

“I’ll find out from Miss Frantisek later. And who is this?” She said looking to James expectantly. Her voice was certainly the one that he’d heard over the radio earlier. It was smooth, almost demure, but with an unmistakable tone of command- she spoke and those around her listened.

“Ma’am. First Lieutinant James Anders.” He gave a smart salute. She was a witch, but this was her base and she was a superior officer, and he figured they’d done enough damage already.

“Ah, the White Knight himself.” She commented. “I’d ask that you keep a close watch on your fellow airmen until Captain Bristol arrives. Lt. Chin?”

“Ma’am?”

“Would you show Lt. Anders where his squadron’s quarters are located?”

He could tell she had definite reservations, but with gritted teeth she replied with an enthusiastic “Yes, ma’am.” And with that, the enigmatic Japanese lady that he assumed was Flight Commander Rina Okabe turned and departed.

“Well, Miss Chin, lead the way.”

“Kiss my ass, pilot.”

>>End Part... "however you say Seven in French. There's probably an x in their making a 'eww' sound."

Now fuck it. I SLEEP NOW!

>>18147631
Sept

>>18147638
Good work sir! Just finished reading.

See you all on thursday. And bring your white knight helmets.

>>18147801
I intend to bring my "Shit just got real" helmet. Trude's got even more reason to come and fight now. No time for bawing, this is a chance for her to get revenge!

Question: when do we get to hear the Tank Witches perform http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0PH_p70ARg ?