>>18066295

>I need some wood.

We're going to be equal parts stoic and oblivious.

>>18066295
Did you eat it?
[x] I NEED AN ADULT

>>18066312
We also need to get a couple of copies of our room key made for Erica and Ursula.

Last thread we got priorities.


>Get our hands on some nice hard wood we can pound some nails in and make our security ROCK HARD.
I think we should remain totally stoic for this encounter. The idea of Somebody taking Hard Gay at face-value and not laughing amuses me greatly.
>Acquire HAT.
I'm thinking Semi-classy, like a Fedora or a Bowler.
>Get Cake.
We can buy it or bake it, but we need to make up with the twins.
>Get BAG
I think we should talk to Ash. If he don't got it, he probably knows someone who does.

If we still need to kill time, let's hit up the bookstore.

Otherwise, Go talk to Erica.

rolled 10 = 10

>>18066295

"Good day, shopkeep. I require quite a lot of hard wood to reinforce my entrance. Where may I find it?"

>>18066316
Almost.
But it tasted like talc. had to spit it out.
Spaeking of eating i need to get some rice on.

>3 days on a riceball only forced diet.
>I miss meat.

rolled 35 = 35

I need some wood please mister can you help a poor butler to construct a machine of pain?

(poor not in financial way)

>>18066320

I'll update the list in a sec.

>>18066316
>>18066312

I need an adult seems funny, but picturing Hayate standing there seemingly oblivious to Hard Gay made me laugh my ass off.

rolled 34 = 34

>>18066323
Butler with a fedora? I can't even start to think of the awesome.

>>18066338
NO. BUTLERS WEAR BOWLERS.

>>18066326

>riceball only diet
>rice
>diet

Hahahahahahahaha.

>>18066312
>>18066325
>>18066333

Oh god. I really hope we don't have to roll for composure.

Because comedy gold. GOLD.

>>18066320

Agreed. Maybe even one or two more just in case.

rolled 32 = 32

>>18066348
Yes for the other future ladies who'll swoon over us. And Kamen. And Keima.

>>18066326
That's a doughnut you moron.

>>18066348
Eh, leaving spare keys around is a bad idea, if it gets misplaced and falls into someones hands who we don't want to give access to the room *cough* Shirou *cough*

Better to just buy more if/when they're needed.

>>18066338
>>18066346

It was more of a rough way of the classy-ness of the hat.

Top Hat's a bit much for the scenario, and a baseball cap is too casual.

Bowler/Fedora is a nice ballpark.

>>18066333
>>18066323

New list:


>Get our hands on some nice hard wood we can pound some nails in and make our security ROCK HARD.
I think we should remain totally stoic for this encounter. The idea of Somebody taking Hard Gay at face-value and not laughing amuses me greatly.
>Make spare keys.
For Twins and maybe one or two friends in case of emergency.
>Acquire HAT.
I'm thinking Semi-classy, like a Fedora or a Bowler.
>Get Cake.
We can buy it or bake it, but we need to make up with the twins.
>Get BAG
I think we should talk to Ash. If he don't got it, he probably knows someone who does.

If we still need to kill time, let's hit up the bookstore.

Otherwise, Go talk to Erica.

Did I get everything this time?

rolled 19 = 19

>>18066365
I think that's good.

[x] I need an adult.

"I need an adult.." You say quivering.
"Ohohohoho, Don't worry your pretty little head." He says, as he latches onto you.
"Not only am I an adult," His hands touches you in places youve never been touched before "I am also an adulterer."

He takes out his mighty jackhammer and revs it to pound your pavement.
As the first blow hits, you can only scream in pain.
HARDER AND HARDER. His drill pierces your heavens.
His auger dives into your untouched earth deeper and deeper.

You break right there in the aisle, in between rows and rows of nails, screws and hooks, you were getting NAILED, SCREWED, and you think you just might get HOOKED on this.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
BAD END.
[x] reload

Goddamnit, this thread.

It's 5:30, and I have a novella to read and a paper to write on it. Plus a test today. There goes any fucking chance of sleep until this fucking afternoon. After the test.

>>18066385
Hah! I live on the east coast, I've already been up for 20 hours.

But damn it, I suggested the massage oil in the first place, and I'll stay up and continue reading until I get my Erica covered in oil!

>>18066384

I want to be angry like I get with Papa-N, but fucking Hard Gay.

I laugh my ass off every time he walks into frame.

>>18066384
AHAHAH BRAVO

rolled 10 = 10

>>18066385
MORE CAFFEINE! Also serious poker face activate, we are in need of wood for our not-so-healthy contraption of obedience.

>>18066407
Speaking of which what has happened to papa n? Never see him around anymore, did he finish up HLQ?

Also goddamn you LG I love your bad ends more than I should

rolled 73 = 73

>>18066425
Banned for some silly reason.

[x]Are you Billy?

"Good day, shopkeep. I require quite a lot of hard wood to hammer into my entrance. Where may I find it?" you answer in the straightest face you could muster.
"Oh? Well i have your hard wood right here." He says as he begins to pull down his zipper.
"I believe you have mistaken me. I mean lumber."
"well. thats no fun." he says dejected.

He leads you down another aisle and shows you various types of wood to examine.
"You just take your time bubble-butt," he says witha slap on your ass. "I'll be waiting at the counter for you."


You examine the lumber available.
The feel of the wood under your fingers throws you back to memories of working a construction site just so you could have enough lunch money for school in the 8th grade. You remember the splinters and blisters you received on your first night on the job.The near miss with the badly balanced crane load.


WAT WOOD DO WE TAKE OH MASTER BUTLERS?
[ ]Teak
[ ]Birch
[ ]Mahogany
[ ]Oak


>>18066347
>FORCED diet.
Im too broke.

>>18066442
[x] Mahogany.

>>18066442
Mahogany or oak, they'd be the most durable.

>>18066442
>The feel of the wood under your fingers throws you back to memories of working a construction site just so you could have enough lunch money for school in the 8th grade.
Jesus Christ, these are like Vietnam flashbacks.
Only sadder and funnier at the same time

[x]oak

>>18066442

"Not just any Mahogany, Mahogany from the planet Malchior VII where the trees are Eight Hundred feet tall and breath FIRE!"

>>18066461
Hayate has the quintessential sob story

the being sold for 150 million yen? that's not even the worst of it, it's about par for the course.

Get sick enough to be completely bedridden? well his mother is off to the racetracks to bet on the horses.

The imagery in the manga suggests he was maybe 7 in that particular flashback.

>>18066461

>The feel of the wood under your fingers throws you back to memories of working a construction site just so you could have enough lunch money for school in the 8th grade.

We really need to start sharing this stuff.

Comedy Gold.

I'm pretty sure we have enough raw pity from our childhood that we could skull-fuck a baby and still be considered decent folks.

rolled 51 = 51

>>18066466
Yes! YES!

>>18066450
But also harder to cut.
But also classy as shit.
I vote mahogany.

I think oak it comes up beautifully when polished and is a very classy looking wood.

Although mahogany does serve much the same purpose tbh

>>18066481
>harder to cut

That's kinda the point, we're reinforcing the frames so Shirou can't "accidentally" force the door by busting the frame.

>>18066475

There's a lot of little details we add in too.

Like the bit about how he occasionally hums a happy tune when he's working?

He heard it coming out of a gentleman's club after the thugs beating him to send his parents a message left him in a dark alley with the rain pouring down.

That song made his Tenth Birthday his happiest.

>>18066475
Wow hayate's backstory is so fucking tragic it comes right out the far side and becomes hilarious

rolled 40 = 40

>>18066494
God damn that feel...

>>18066466

I fucking read that in the voice.

>>18066494

>That song made his Tenth Birthday his happiest.

I don't care what LG says, that little nugget is canon.

>>18066494
How about the fact that his parents pawned off the one chance he'd ever have at happiness for ~$25

rolled 62 = 62

>>18066492
Oh I thought we were making something for Erica and us to have fun with/in

>[x]Mahogany.
That wonderful, deep reddish colour. Go with it.

>>18066506

>How about the fact that his parents pawned off the one chance he'd ever have at happiness for ~$25

I don't remember this one.

I do remember a 6 year old Hayate being told by Santa that poor kids who's parent's didn't love them don't deserve to have a Merry Christmas.

>>18066505
Uh.
It IS canon.

>>18066516
That's what the massage oil is for.

>>18066521
The ring that he was given by A-tan when he was a kid.

rolled 43 = 43

>>18066526
Why can't we use the excess wood and the oil?

>>18066523

Wait, something like that actually happened?

I just made that shit up spur of the moment a couple of threads ago.

[never read/watched the show he's from]

[x] Mahogany.
You select some choice pieces of mahogany, enough to reinforce your door and some other side project you might think about.

You think of how to bring the pieces you've selected to the counter, but you spot a couple of paperbags hanging off a rack at arm's length.
Taking one of the bags you slip the pieces of lumber you have chosen.

WHAT ELSE DO WE NEED OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18066544
Nails, hammer, and the keys.

rolled 60 = 60

>>18066544
Make spare keys

>>18066544

Nails, tools.

Also get 3-4 spare keys for the room made.

>>18066544
Steel plates for the door.

>>18066562
THIS.
Fucking Shirou.

>>18066544
From the hardware store, wood screws, a drill and bits, and a saw. Hammer, nails, and wood glue can't hurt either. Maybe a level, tape measure, and paint/finish. We're classy as fuck butlers, so we should take pride in our jury-rigged door strengtheners.

>>18066562
Jesus Christ, we're not making a bank vault, we're just trying to keep Shirou out.
...
Actually yeah, steel plates. And reinforced hinges.

>>18066569
Kraus can turn into tools. He did that when we installed the locks from Gai

>>18066569
>Jury rigged
>Mahogany

Nope, we're going to do it right, which fortunately we can due to previous construction experience.

rolled 77 = 77

>>18066544

Maybe something like one of those Engaged/Available things some public toilet doors have, so someone doesn't come in during fun times?

> Captain ladyyis
That's the game plan, CAPTCHA.

>>18066575
I can just picture our room turning more and more into a paranoids dream, eventually we're going to have anti-Shirou turrets retinal scanners, a blast door, the works.

And it will be hilarious.

>>18066594
And he WILL STILL GET IN.
>and it will be horrifying
ftfy

>>18066554
>>18066562
Thinking that you should reinforce your door further, you head down to another aisle to get some steel plates.

There you find a tall well built Caucasian wearing nothing but tight, white briefs.
He seems to be preoccupied with polishing some brass rods with a towel.

You sneak past him the best that you could. But still feel a hard smack of a towel against your behind.

You hurry and grab what steel you can find, stash them in the paper bag and head down to the register.

You hand the bag over to the still gyrating black clad man and he rings your purchase through.
You then hand him your set of room keys to be duplicated 3 times.

This accomplished, you hurriedly pay and walk out the door before he can make any further advances on you.

WAT NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18066623
Then Mike wanders into the dorms, and walks right the fuck back out muttering about how he's not paid enough to deal with this shit (and remember as trainees we're being paid $6200 a week, mike as a trainer presumably gets paid far far more)

>>18066641
What time is approximately? After lunch yet?

>>18066641
Check time, if it's near evening we may need to head back before purchasing everything on our list, other wise
>>18066365
>see list

Oh and since you guys managed to survive lunch, ill drop this chart here.

rolled 30 = 30

Hang on, didn't Gai go to this store to get us the extra locks?

...We should REALLY get him something nice since we're out shopping.

> distinctly dsiderf

Yes, he really does deserve something nice, CAPTCHA.

>>18066655
lunch was over when you finished the little swordfight with mike.

Time is now mid afternoon. IDK maybe 2:30ish

>>18066655
It's well after lunch, we were hanging out with mike for lunch.

>>18066674
Ok, then we still need that cake, the hat and a leather satchel for carrying stuff.

>>18066659
>KEIMA
>seduce
>near miss
DAMN

>>18066659
Shit you planned out for us to try and seduce Keima again? I know we like the joke but I don't think we are going that far until we have the gender change potion ready

>>18066659
>No Nanoha

Totally could have wrecked that chart if we had gone with her instead.

>>18066641
This
>>18066683

>>18066689
Multiple keima seduction routes.
>ROOFTOP seduction
goddessmode keima
>DIRECT SEDUCTION
male keima
>TOwn/park seduction
could be guy or female keima

>>18066641

We have a to-do list now!

>>18066365

>>18066711
I thought that only lasted 5 minutes? Unless Elsie can do a cut down version which changes Keima girls but no other differences

>>18066686
>>18066689
>>18066711

No longer sure how serious this shit is.

But it's fucking funny.

>>18066683
You decide to get ingredients for a cake you want to bake for the 2 wonderful ladies who's company you have been enjoying recently.

You head back to Pantasia.
Now only the girl and the kid are working the counters.

[ ]girl
[ ]kid

>>18066727
Given LG's style so far it is all serious

>>18066736
Girl.

>>18066736

Girl I guess.

>>18066727
all seduction routes for keima lead to getting SHIROU'd

had it that way to keep the thing all hetero... for now.

>>18066736
Girl,
Make sure we look nice and thoughtful by asking her what kind of cake we should get for a girl we like

>>18066756

I have this mental image of Kemia trying to focus on something when his mind drifts.

>"You know, the outfit's kinda embarrassing, but bunny-mode's pretty awesome."
>"With the speed boosts and the strength-boosts, I'm so agile I might as well be wearing nothing at all!"
>"Nothing at all."
>"NOTHING."
>"AT."
>"ALL."

And then Elsie says someone and he flips out.

>>18066758

We already know the cake.

We're just not sure if we should but it or bake it yet.

>>18066756
Damnit Shirou!

So... Is goddessmode Keima male or female?

>>18066756
But once we perfect the genderswap potion, all bets are off, right?

>>18066783
Female apparently

>>18066772

Oh god, I can't stop laughing.

>>18066783

Meh. If it's pretty, fuck it. Worry about implications later.

>>18066745
>>18066747
>>18066758
Having had enough weird encounters with males this day, you decide to talk to the girl.
The green ribbons in her hair sway as she bubbly converses with you.
"Back so soon?" She smiles "what can I get you?"

"Well," You begin, "I wanted to bake a cake for these really special ladies in my life. And I was wondering, what kind of cake a girl might like."

"That's easy." she replies. "Chocolate of course!"
"okay, ill have the fixings for that please."

As she moves around behind the counter for the various ingredients, her nice firm buns trace themselves in her skirt. Your thoughts wander into how much you'd like to butter them.

She finishes putting together a complete set of ingredients and lays them out for you on the counter-top.

"would that be all?" she asks you with a smile

[ ] butter her buns, lay it on thick
[ ] just trim the crust.
[ ] yes

>>18066783
You're not sure yet.
You might need to check under the hood.

>>18066804

Yes

>>18066804

Trim the crust

Crust taste goooood

>>18066804
[X] Butter her buns

I know chances are Erica and Ursula are about to walk in the door but still

>>18066804
>Butter her buns
MY HUE SENSE IS TINGLING
[x] Yes.

>>18066804
Im assuming these are to seduce her?
Just trim the crust for now.
Introduce yourself and get her name.
make more visits to the bakeshop later

>>18066804

Yes.

Then leave before our dick gets us into MORE trouble.

>>18066825
>>18066815
>>18066816

Guys.

GUYS.

Erica WILL find out.

She WILL.

I don't care if she says it's casual, she obviously isn't being 100% straight with us.

She will NEUTER us. And not joke bad-end either.

Nothing good lies down this road.

>>18066804
>[x] butter her buns, lay it on thick

Dem sweetbuns. They need butter.
Hue.
Huehuehue.

this will end badly we have to get the fuck out.

>>18066840
This anon has the right of it, she's looking like she'll share with her sister, and may share with others if she knows about them beforehand, but she's being awful clingy for a "not serious relationship"

>>18066850

Some jealousy is good. She may then decide to make it official.

>>18066844
On second thought, despite the amusement factor, and my poor decision making after 15+ hours of being awake...

I do have to agree with
>>18066840

Things will not end will with Hayate/Susan if Erica finds out and is offended/upset/murderous.

>>18066844

This might be legitimate bad-end territory.

"So hey, remember how I did the sex-tape thing yesterday? Then I went and broke time, got your sister to confess her feelings to me prior to that, and fucked some girl in a bakery."

>>18066816
Fine then trim the crust instead of this.

The hue is just so overpoweringly alluring though

>>18066812
>>18066818
>>18066827
"Yes, that would be fine."
As she rings up the purchase and hands it to you you say "I thank you for the assistance miss..."
"Tsukino, I'm Tsukino."
You make a gracious bow to her, "Thank you miss Tsukino, I'll make sure to visit your fine establishment again in the near future."

You head out of Pantasia.
You are now in desperate need of a single container for all your purchases by now.
Sure these disposable bags of holdings are fine, but carrying around assorted plastic and paper bags just isnt your style.

You head back to the RIDICULOUSLY CONVENIENT STORE.

"hey man, do y-" You're interrupted before you could finish your question
"A nice bag of holding? Nope. all out. Did you try Helga's?"

"Yes. But she made a deal i coudnt accept."
"wise choice. Try the Inconvenience Store or you could wait a couple more minutes," he says as he checks his watch. "The other shops should come up soon."


WAT DO OH FINE BUTLERS?
[ ] 9-11 inconvenience store
[ ] wait for whatever he means

>>18066867

>"So hey, remember how I did the sex-tape thing yesterday? Then I went and broke time, got your sister to confess her feelings to me prior to that, and fucked some girl in a bakery."

Actually, yeah.

What the fuck are we thinking?

Christ, we're here buying an apology gift for the LAST time we fucked up.

>>18066880

wait.

>>18066880
Good things come to those who [x] wait.

>>18066880

"What do you mean by that?"

We should ask before making any decisions.

Also, ask if there's a decent tailor in town. We're still pretty new here after all.

>>18066880
My curosity is pricked.
Wait for whatever it is.

>>18066880
Wait, so a Baba Yaga being in town is a normal thing? also, new shops?

>>18066892
>>18066886
>>18066883

Waiting sounds good. Might as well ask >>18066890

Since we're chilling anyway.

>>18066880
I think the other shops. 9-11 is going to be sheer concentrated derp

You decide to wait, intrigued by what the clerk at the RIDICULOUSLY CONVENIENT STORE said.

A few minutes later, as you bite into your third croissant, you see a short man with white hair and an oversized hat run out of the big municipal building.

He's ringing a small bell as he walks across the storefront saying, "CHANGE PLACES!"
As he reaches the end of the row of stores, they all pull themselves up by their foundations and switch places around.

In a flash a whole new row of stores sit before you.

With a sweeping look you check the signs on these stores.

****ROLL 1d100****
First five rolls over fifty will be a store

He's ringing a big bell as he walks by the storefronts.
"CHANGE PLACES!

>>18066902

I am worried that it will be literal.

Also, maybe it's because AMERICA but the 9-11 makes me a bit uneasy.

rolled 65 = 65

>>18066915
The misidentified potions shop.

rolled 81 = 81

>>18066915
Olgreb's Toxic Radiance
It's a bar.

rolled 18 = 18

>>18066915
CREEDS tobacco shop

rolled 11 = 11

>>18066915

"Ackbar's legitimate shop for legitimate people [not a thinly disguised black-market]"

rolled 34 = 34

>>18066915
Ye Oldde Magaik Item Shoppe..

rolled 62 = 62

>>18066915
HAT AND COLD all weather hat shop

rolled 65 = 65

Slanesh' Secret.
A lingerie shoppe

rolled 24 = 24

>>18066915
wait. so ALL THE STORES are baba yaga huts?
awesome.

rolled 23 = 23

>>18066930
YES. Rolling to support this.

rolled 73 = 73

>>18066915
SkullSmasha Gubbinz Shop

rolled 95 = 95

>>18066915
Mrs Megorium's potion emporium.

rolled 72 = 72

>>18066929
rolling for THIS.
lets get mike some cigars

rolled 71 = 71

>>18066915

"The Horrible Revelation"

Fine clothing establishment.

rolled 28 = 28

The Traveler's Outfit.

A shop containg among other things, travelling goods, such as satchels, rucksacks, cloaks, boots, and such items as travellers and other buisness persons might need on the road.

rolled 48 = 48

>>18066930

also supporting.

rolled 51 = 51

>>18066930
>>18066932
>>18066934
>>18066974
lol, only 4 shops that could possibly have sold any of the items we were looking for, and only 1 of them made it in.

rolled 2, 1 = 3

Okay we have.
>Olgreb's Toxic Radiance
>The misidentified potions shop.
>SkullSmasha Gubbinz Shop
>Slanesh' Secret.
>HAT AND COLD all weather hat shop

As your mind reels a bit from the bit of architectural musical chairs you've just witnessed you scan the new shops now in view.

You spot a lingerie store
a hat shop
a medieval looking tavern
a potion shop that looks like it's seen better days
and what appears to be a junk shop

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Im rolling to see which shops we go to

>>18066987
>Implying a Bag of Holding would not be in the 'Gubbinz' item class.

rolled 2, 5 = 7

>>18066992
wow I roll bad.

>>18066992
Lingerie shop. Let's get something that will turn Erica on for ourselves. Something... lacey.

>>18066992

>Rolling

What? Why?

Why can't we choose?

rolled 83 = 83

>>18066999
Naah, not anywhere near shiny enough to be gubbinz.

>>18067004
>something for ourselves that will turn Erica on
ftfy

>>18066992
The hat store, for the time-travel hat!

>>18067012
Yeah, that's what I meant.

>>18067013
And a bowler.

>>18067004

Let's not.

We don't MIND cross-dressing, but we don't active seek out chances to go in drag.

>>18067021
I'm not suggesting drag, I'm suggesting some kind of lacey male lingerie. It exists. Erica would get a huge kick out of it too.

>>18067016
I know, but your sentence structure was terrible.

>>18067013
>>18067017

The Bowler IS the time-travel hat.

>>18067029
Bro, I was thanking you for helping me clarify, not trying to defend myself.

rolled 1, 2 = 3

>>18066992
derp that will do.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
You decide to check out the hilariously named 'misidentified potions shop'

Inside you find shelves labeled [HEALING POTIONS, We think.] and [IMMORTALITY WATER, if it kills you, you get your money back.]

You spot the shop-keep, its a little red headed girl wearing a brown cloak with various vials stuck in multiple holsters on her person.

"See anything you like?" She asks you

>>18067041
Nope, on to the haberdasher/lingerie shop. The things in here are not worth the risk.

>>18067028

Let's just not do the lingerie thing.

>>18067041
"Maybe."

rolled 29 = 29

>>18067041
Actually, buy a bunch of them, we can Practice Identifying them and replicating them with Kraus.

And they seem like they'll be cheap.

You guys realize we don't get to pick the shops right? He rolled for them.

>>18067041
>Magical Amber

I WAS SAD WHEN YOU PICKED BARTENDER OVER HER AS OUR ALCHEMY TEACHER, BUT ALL IS NOW FORGIVEN.

>rolled for shops since idk. make things faster i guess

>>18067077
It's all good, dude.

>>18066992
>>18066999
>>18067041
Jesus, dice really want us to visit the hat shop.

>>18067077

To be fair, we went into this with a list, and no real reason to go investigating other shit.

Ah well, live and learn.

>>18067047
>>18067054
"Maybe," you ask her curious as to what potions you might pick up in here.
"How much are they?"

"Half a gupta per liter." She answers. "Or you can get the 5 liter grab bag for only 2 guptas."
she motions to an assortment of various vials and bottles in a basket
.
[ ]buy? how much?
[ ]no buy?

>>18067105
2 grab bags. EXPERIMENTATION~

rolled 76 = 76

>>18067054

Sounds like a good idea to me.
Getting good at making potions is important for all sorts of current and future plans.

>>18067105
[x] No

we are looking for a bag of holding, not buying potion

ask her where to buy it

>>18067113
And a hat.

>>18067041
>>18067105
It's fucking Kohaku!

rolled 94 = 94

>>18067105
>liter

Aren't potions usually small dosages? like 20 doses to the liter?

rolled 35 = 35

>>18067105
Dont have any gender bending potions do you?

>>18067105
>...focus-on-the-blue-one.jpg
But the red one has such a snazzy logo!

>>18067127
That's the joke.

>>18067105
buy a bag

Who knows what shit well get.
Maybe a perfect, non expiring version of the gender bender

>>18067105

NO.

>>18067127
Shes talking about the total volume of the sale.
Multiple vials for a liter.
She has no idea what the fuck the bottles contain so shes selling them off by volume

>>18067143
Let's just buy a medium-sized grab bag, then move on to buying a bowler and some frilly draws.

>>18067143

>No idea what she's doing.

Let's NOT buy this shit.

Ever.

>>18067143
We should ask Ryuu about testing unknown potions sometime.
For now, we have Shirou.

>>18067155

NOPE.

Fuel for testing on shirou

"Ah, so no. 4 sets the drinker on fire..."

rolled 41 = 41

THIS IS LIKE BEING A KID IN AN ALCHEMICAL SWEET SHOP.
WE BUY A RAINBOW-COLOURED TEN LITRES AND ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Buy two bags.
Don't test on Shirou. We might be getting into trouble.

Guys, we have goals, remember?

We need to FOCUS.

Let's not throw away money on potions right now, and instead get the only things on our list: A bag and a Hat.

We can come back to the shop later, for now: Stick To The Plan.

>>18067174
A bag, a hat, and some lacey underwear.

>>18067174

THIS.

Come on guys, can we bat at the shinyies when we AREN'T worried about paradox?

>>18067179

>Lacey Underwear.

You are in no way helping.

You decide it's best to not mess with any mystery potions until you become confident with your alchemy skills.

Instead you ask her if she knows where you could buy a bag of holding.

"Have you tried Helga's?" she asks
YOu tell her that you've decided to not deal with Helga.
"Well, the Bureau PX should have some for sale to it's operatives. But only people connected to the IDPKB can buy from it."

You almost facepalm after realizing that you shouldave checked the Bureau itself before hand.

You take your leave of the weird potion shop and head back out, your feet leading you to the hat shop next door

>>18067193
Fuck yeah, let's get a bowler.

>>18067186
Except the reason we're out on the town batting at shinies in the first place is due to the fact that we're worried about paradox.

rolled 83 = 83

>>18067200
>>18067186
A PARADOX OF PARADOXES
>>18067193
Rolling for the best damn bowler ever.

Next time I am rolling for us to get Recettear

Just know it would be worth it

>>18067226
But what would we do with a 3% bonus to Guptas earned?

>>18067226

Nah, Recettear would probably be running the PX, racketeering.

>>18067193
I'd like to come back here sometime, get a grab-bag in order to get some ideas for new potions.

At the haberdashery, let's get a bowler.

You enter the hatshope, all sorts of headwearare laid out on tables throught the shop, weirdly enough there are also some cakes and what appears to be a durian fruit intermixed with them.
There are a few vending machines placed against the wall to one side.

Near the back is a counter where a little girl wearing red and green sits, she seems to be in a heated argument with a fairy.

"But Tear! the cakes are cute!"
"No, we're trying to run a hat shop here. Not a bakery."

The fairy notices you and asks "Do we have something we might need?"

>luckily had the recettear screenshot just for this

>>18067236
Good point

rolled 3 = 3

>>18067246
Aw she's not running the PX.

>>18067246
"Do you have any bowler hats? I'm looking for a good 'beware of paradoxes because I'm a time traveler' hat."

>>18067250
missed those posts when i was typing that up and looking through my recettear screenshots.

mfw.

well, i guess i can have her work the PX on weekends

>>18067246

>>18067246
"Yes, miss, I am in the market for a hat. A bowler type, if possible."

rolled 18 = 18

>>18067246

Huzzah! We give up on spending 4 guptas for hundreds of potentially useful potions so we can get conned out of all our guptas while buying a hat for when we play at being time travellers!

rolled 29 = 29

Also ask where you can get that same sort of system which announces the news, like if something's cheap or expensive etc.

>>18067250
Maybe Alouette and Prime run that.

Remember in the game they had that fuckhueg chain of stores.

"Hi I am looking for a hat, a fake mustache and a bag of holding"

>>18067266
We were at a shop NAMED mislabeled potions.

W would be lucky if the least we got was gender swapped more likely we would of gotten a "FUCK YOU AND DIE" potion

"Do you have any bowler hats? I'm looking for a good 'beware of paradoxes because I'm a time traveler' hat." you answer her.

"Ah, a gallifreyan special." she answers.
"Recette, get our customer that one we keep in the back. No, not the fluffy pink one. the one in the box."

The little girl runs out to the back of the store and quickly comes out with a classy black bowler hat.

"That would be 400yonks" she tells you as she shows it to you.

***ROLL FOR BARTERING!***
i shall also match rolls with you.
2 rolls must be higher than mine to beat me.
You need to beat 2 of my rolls.

>>18067278
We probably would have gotten gender-swapped while drinking a healing potion, then bleed to death for a [bad end].

rolled 28 = 28

>>18067278

A "FUCK YOU AND DIE" potion is not useful for shooting at enemies?

rolled 78 = 78

>>18067286

"I can't pay that much"

rolled 76 = 76

We will get paid for taking it.

rolled 11 = 11

>>18067288
THEY ARE MISLABELED. The 'fuck you and die' potion would be labeled a healing potion, or an awesome sex elixer, or something.

>>18067286
itsfuckingonnowchaps.jpg
>>18067290
>>18067293

>>18067272
And jewelry that can store majaikal energy if it is possible

rolled 59 = 59

My first roll.
two rolls before this need to beat this

rolled 48 = 48

>>18067303
Two rolls beat that.

rolled 31 = 31

>>18067303

rolled 63 = 63

>>18067303
Do we roll again? I'm rolling anyway. YOU CAN'T STOP MEEEEEE

rolled 17 = 17

>>18067293
"300." you counter offer.
"NOOOOOO." she says "black things are in demand right now. 375"

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
My second roll
2 rolls after this must beat this

rolled 99 = 99

>>18067318
Easy mode.

rolled 89, 77 = 166

>>18067286
Ah Bartering. Let's see if we can't knock off a hundred or two from the price.
>"Shall we say... 200?"

(Rolling 2d100 since I'm not sure what dice you want to use. d100 seems to be the usual.)

rolled 53 = 53

>>18067318
>17
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

rolled 7 = 7

>>18067322
Score!

>>18067324
Oh wait. You said two of your rolls not two dice. My bad. Count only the first of the pair then. (I need another cup of coffee it seems.)

>>18067318

>>18067322
>>18067324
>>18067326

Pic related

rolled 54 = 54

>>18067297

Thank you for stating all that obvious for me, but I'm afraid we could take the time to learn what they actually do.

rolled 77 = 77

>>18067324
>>18067322
"250" You offer again, just to shake her.
"Oh okay." she hands you the hat knowing that you have her fully beat.


You walk out of the shop with a new hat and 250yonks lighter.

back in the open, you see that the sun is just about to go down.

WAT NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

rolled 79 = 79

>>18067356
Check time, if enough, visit Ursula

>>18067356
Head back to the room and wait for Erica.

>>18067359
You're an idiot our other self is about to do that right around this time

>>18067356

We should have entered the Tardis by now.

Head back, bake cake and prepare to massage.

rolled 53 = 53

>>18067356
It's about this time that we went into the TARDIS, right? No need to worry about paradoxes anymore. Let's go give the twins a massage.

>>18067356

Are we in the clear? Anytime after we went to learn alchemy and we should be fine.

Go back to the base store and get the bag.

rolled 87 = 87

>>18067370
cake then massage

>>18067370
No, the sun was setting when we left the classroom.

rolled 30 = 30

>>18067370
Oh, I'm changing my vote from this...
>>18067369
To this.
>>18067368
No, we encountered her just after lunch. We're in the clear now.

>>18067359
DONT. We are just about to have that elevator encounter with her.
The one where we apologized for the sex tape.
I say head to the room and prepare for the twins.

>>18067356
Do this
>>18067369

rolled 35 = 35

>>18067356
Time to make a cake. That should keep us out of the loop juuust long enough.

>>18067379
No, we were in class just after lunch, our past self encountered Ursula in the elevator on the way from the discussion about teams, to learning from Ryuu.

Hit up the PX for a bag, upgrade our room's security, and then go get that cake baked.

Show Erica the Time Travel Hat.

Inform her of the purpose of the Time Travel Hat.

rolled 48 = 48

>>18067390
Yeah, let's do our work to prepare for the evening. Keep out of our timestream for any reason.

Okay fags. this is what happened.

SUN SETS, TEAM DISPERSES FROM ROOM.
WE HEAD TO R&D AND MEET URSULA AT ELEVATOR. APOLOGIZE.

Go to ryuu's for lessons.
Head out to the library at [21:32]
Then we head to the DOCTOR

this period of time where we go from place to place IS THE MOST DANGEROUS OF THE DAY.
FUCK.
We dont know what time paradoxes will result of us bumping into ourselves

WE GO TO THE ROOM. We cant trigger paradoxes with anyone there, since the only one were with right now is URSULA.

rolled 86 = 86

>>18067400
Agreed. It's cake time. While the cake is baking, we'll upgrade our door.

How about we combine the best suggestions?
Get a bag of holding from the PX, then head back, reinforce door, bake cake, prep for massage, set up subtle lighting and scenery, the whole deal.

>>18067400
Bro, only one person suggested meeting Ursula. Everyone else is suggesting cake.

>time travel discussion
OHBOYHEREREWEGO

Go to the PX get a bag

>>18067410
I am in favor of getting shit done, in the order listed.

>>18067410
>>18067426
I agree except bake the cake before we do the door. That shit's gotta have time to cool, yo.

>>18067433
Agreed.

You guys best be very carefull
You are skating on thin ice.

IGNORE BAG, FOR NOW.

Running around campus is too dangerous

>>18067445
What, trying to do too much at once?
Drop the door stuff then that can wait. Bag too.

>>18067445

Crap, LG, what was Susan doing at this time?

>>18067445
Don't go anywhere except straight back into our room until it's such a time that we would be in the TARDIS. Enter through the window via flying saucer if possible.

rolled 10 = 10

>>18067445
Yeah we've kind of noticed.
And that's what makes it all the more fun.

>>18067410
Yeah. Lets get shit done

>>18067455
YOu should be apologizing to URSULA at this moment.
Your team has dispersed, unknown locations for all

>>18067445

Our plan is a quick in and out for the store, go back to the room in a roundabout fashion, lock ourselves in and set to work.

Unless you know something we don't about the store, we should be fine.

>>18067463
Then back to the room now.

>>18067463
That means it's post interaction, we can safely explain what's going on if they ask since they won't be talking to our past self.

>>18067463

Well, we didn't run into anybody, so we should be fine.

>>18067463
Liberal use of stopwatch?

>>18067463
Alright, let's skip going to the PX; too much chance of running into someone.

>>18067463

Then the objective is to get back to the room, not by the corridors, though.

Sneak onto the grounds, then activate Bunny mode and timestop, fly to our window and enter.

>>18067474

Past us is going to be mixing cocktails for a while, and didn't really talk to anybody since then.

We should be good for the store if we hurry, but then we need to do a hermit impression.

>concensus, ROOM

You head back to the Bureau.
As you enter the gates, you stealthily go around back alleys and emergency routes to the to the dorms.
You see Gai, Keima, Kenji and Jun enter through the front running close behind them is shirou with a shovel.

You have 3 options of getting in.
[ ]front
[ ]rear
[ ]window

i think i should make a small map of bureau grounds.

>>18067500
Window.

...but I really want to know what they're doing.

>>18067500

Window.

Lock everything until further notice.

>>18067500

Window. Activate timestop and bunny mode before we go as well.

1 minute should be sufficient to get us in.

>>18067500
Window. But do it time-stopped.
Should we risk Bunnymode with Kraus in OH GOD MY BRAINS condition?

>>18067500
>>18067505
>>18067507

Could we send J to find out what's up?

Have him return to us later?

rolled 71 = 71

>>18067500
Keimas mouth.

>>18067512

Ask him if he can do so, i guess.

>>18067513

Oh god, thats a good idea. He can stay nearby and eavesdrop.

We're on the second floor guys. We don't need bunny-mode.

>>18067512
Anyways, Kraus should be able to signal when we go to see the Doctor since he'll probably stop being Schrodinger's teaset once our past self is inside the Tardis.

>>18067500
I have a truly morbid desire to know why Shirou has a shovel...

But window will have to do for now.

>>18067545


Probably Fudge

>>18067500
Window, and use Bunny Mode to get in quickly.
Lock both the window and the door.

>>18067545
It's to dig fudge.

>>18067545
>>18067560
>Shirou mining fudge
>has dug a tunnel much longer than his room would allow
Dear God, he may tunnelled into the Elemental Plane of Fudge.

>>18067575

...Unlimited Fudge Works

>>18067575
>>18067579
IT'S FUDGE FOREVER.

>Window.
>optional: JAKOB SCOUT

You slink your way to the side of the dorms. and take Jakob out of your hat.
"Hey J, can you go through the front and up to our room and scout for me?" YOu ask you little white companion
"Of course sir." he says as he goes off hopping towards the front of the dorm to enter through the front door.

"Hey Kraus, Buddy." You ask your partner.
"You okay to use some Majaik now?"

"NOPE. MY HEAD IS RINGING LIKE A BELL AT A WEDDING. THE BEST I CAN GIVE YOU IS YOUR BASIC EQUIPMENT. I CANT DO MORE COMPLICATED STUFF NOW. I CAN ONCE MY PAST SELF IS IN THAT INFERNAL BLUE BOX."

"Okay buddy," You tell him, I'll just be needing a saucer to get up to the room.

'Sir,' Jakob contacts you mentally 'your male classmates are currently crowding around Mister Shirou's room watching him attack the fudge.'

'Okay J, thanks for the heads up.' you tell him in return. 'ill sneak you in through the door once im in the room.'

You take out a saucer and enlarge it for flight and float up to your room.
Once there, you open the door just enough to get Jakob inside.

WHAT NAO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

rolled 66 = 66

>>18067596
It's cake time. But first cover the door so that the odours won't get out to the hallway.

>>18067596
Let's head on in. If we can't summon up a kitchen yet, we may as well watch Shirou mining fudge.

>>18067596
Lock the door, close the window shutters.

Then read the alchemy book or take nap again.

>>18067596

Batter down the hatches. They're close by so it might be a good idea to bake or work on reinforcing the door.

Lets do some reading of the books.

>>18067596
BAKE THE BEST GODDAMN CAKE THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.
And maybe setup for double massage.
Hey, idea, the girls can eat cake while getting massaged.

>>18067604

>DERP

MIGHT NOT BE A GOOD IDEA

>>18067596
LOCK. THE. DOOR.
And the window.
Prepare our cake ingredients, but wait until our past self is safely into the TARDIS. We can't have Kraus set up a kitchen for us until then.

>>18067596
Lock door, leave window unlocked for Erica, bake cake.

While cake is baking, upgrade the door frame and the door.

>>18067612
This.

>>18067596

Shirou's room is very close by.

DO NOTHING that will produce a smell or loud noises, aka baking or working on the door.

Read the books we got.

GUYS GUYS GUYS.
We are free from any paradoxes.
Everyone in the dorms isnt someone were interacting with right now.
We couldave gone in through the front door no question.
Noone knows where we went after the class. WE couldave easily just been walking slower than everyone else.

WE ARE ONLY AVOIDING OUR PAST SELF CURRENTLY.

I say, see the shenanigans with shirou and the guys.
or get gai to help with carpentry work

>>18067616
>>18067612
But Shirou's room is RIGHT THERE.
Loud noises, like reinforcing the doors, will attract him and the other guys.

And the smell of baking a chocolate cake is going to get him to come running and ruin the cake. Do you really want us to get Shirou'ed that badly?

>>18067637
Agreed.

>>18067637
this.

Our interaction with the guys now will not result in any paradoxes.
Much like our interaction with URSULA earlier.

Oh god OP just do something it is nearly 2:30 AM here I need to sleeeeep.

>>18067637
>>18067642
>>18067647

I'm gonna meta abit and point out that LG said we're on thin ice.

This is a quest GM's "Are you sure you wanna do that?"

Risking ANYTHING right now is not a good idea.

>>18067659
He meant that when we were considering checking out the PX i think

>>18067647
No, see the Ursula thing could have resulted in paradox, the flowchart explicitly said so.

That's separate from what's going on here, as they have no reason to suspect us of being anywhere else and are not going to interact with our past self again

>lockdoor
>open window
>no further consencus

Yyou lock your door, and make sure the window is left open.
You decide to listen in on the guys in the corridor for now.

You hear the sound of metal against something fudgy. The chitchat of the men around shirou's room.

And then you hear the low rumble.
It started off like faraway thunder that grew louder and louder.

"CAAAAAAAAAAVE IIIIIIIIIN!" You hear Kenji's shout.

Crashing shout's and noises of moving feet are then heard.

>>18067687
Oh no, he'll have to eat his way out. How horrible.

>>18067687
Dat fudge.

Check with Kraus to see if we're in the TARDIS yet.

>>18067687

>Friends in danger

Paradox be damned!

TIMESTOP

We have a minute now to drag anyone out of the way.

CHARGE!

>>18067687
You listen in as you hear people working down the hall. The sound of shoveling and digging ringing through the dorms.

And then you hear it. The steady, rhythmic sound of a jackhammer.

WAT NAO OF MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18067687
They aren't getting the wood we bough to reinforce the doorframe as support beams, nope, not happening.

Though we should step out and make sure Gai and Jun didn't get buried.

>>18067706
>jackhammer
WE HAVE COVER
DOOR UPGRADE GO GO GO

>>18067706
More tools? they're fine.

Get to work reinforcing the door.

>>18067706

LG, wheres old us right now?

>>18067709
We bought extra wood, remember? We have more than we need right now. Anyway, we really need to ask Kraus to let us know the very second his head stops ringing. Or whatever his head would be for an intelligent magical tea-set.

>>18067718
Really doesn't matter, post apologizing to Ursula, since after then the only people with a track on our location are faculty.

>>18067706
We need confirmation of whether we've stepped into the TARDIS or not.

If Kraus says it's okay, then we can go out, help the guys.

Send Jakob out to check if everyone is ok.

If so then get to work upgrading our door. If we have enough wood left over let's see about making something for sexy times with the twins

>>18067706
Ok, well, I'm going to bed now.
Aim for classy cake and massage apology, guys. No lewdness.
Though if they jump us that's fine too.

>>18067718
You should now be inside RYUU's bar.
Trying your hand on making a healing potion.

YOu leave the bar at 21:32
After that you would be at the library [30mins tops], then in the tardis

KRAUS should be back to normal at around 22:10

Let's make sure our door upgrades look nice too.

No point making our room Shirou proof if everyone knows about it

>>18067731

This. Send out the bunny. If need be he can go laplace to help out with rescue.

>>18067741

Let's send Jakob out the door, to assess how bad the situation is. He can say that Susan had sent him back to his room to pick something up, if asked why he's here.

>implying Ursula is actually going to show up for the funtimes instead of sliping into bed with us afterwards like she's done every other night.

Okay guys, im gonna step in from a carpenterial point of view.
You cant just slap the mahogany on top of the existing door jamb and call it reinforcement. in fact the nails/screws you would be using to attach the mahogany cladding onto the existent doorframe would just weaken it.
You should replace the whole doorframe itself.

As for the steel plates you have, you need them on both sides of the door for best results.

For a temporary reinforcement you can make a crossbar for the door. but it will be as crude as fuck.

>>18067762
Well she did kiss us earlier today.

And couldn't keep her hands off our ass during the ball.

I think it is becoming more and more likely

>>18067773
wouldn't steel plates as the center of two pieces of wood work best?

>>18067773
We'll hold off and rely on the locks for now then.

Start baking and keep the stopwatch close at hand so we can vanish out the window if anyone shows up.

>>18067773
Man. We should just brick the doorway and always use the window.

>>18067786
And then she was confronted by the fact that we are very much into her sister. followed by a brief apology.

It's heading that way, but it's not there yet, especially since the apology took place about 15 minutes ago objective time.

>>18067773
Can we not insert the steel plates between the door so we have a thin layer of wood then Steel then empty space / wood then steel then another thin layer of wood?

Also work on making the doorframe then install it later on maybe?

Lets just catch up on the alchemy reading.

Less things that can go wrong.

>>18067731
>>18067760
>>18067755
Over the noise of the digging outside, you manage to slip Jakob back out for a quick assesment of the situation.

'So, J.' you ask him ' How's everything out there?'
'Master Kurou seems to be trapped in his room sir. No one is hurt though. Mister Kenji and Gai-san are digging him out as we speak.'

'Okay, thats good. I'd hate to see anyone get hurt.' you tell him ' You can come back in now.'


You lay out the engredients for the cake on your desk, and stow your other purchases for now.

A few moments pass and you hear a knowck on your door.

[ ]use peephole
[ ]do nothing

rolled 51 = 51

>>18067813

peephole.

>>18067813
Peephole.

rolled 54 = 54

>>18067813
Use peephole, but under cover so it won't look like it's being used.

>>18067813
Peephole

>>18067813

Might have to let Jacob open the door later.

We'll hide under the bed or in the closet or something and have the rabbit open the door.

>>18067828
>>18067820
>>18067819
>>18067817
You use the peephole and see Keima outside your door.

[ ]let him in
[ ]keep quiet

rolled 99 = 99

>>18067835
Let him in

>>18067813
Use peephole.

>>18067835
Open the door juuuust enough, quickly grab him and pull inside the room. When he expresses 'WTF' tell him "Shh, I'm hiding" when he asks from what, tell him "From Paradoxes"

>>18067835

>Possible trouble but what the hell

Let him in.

>>18067835
Hide. Have Jakob answer the door.

>>18067835
You decide to let him in.
You open the door just enough to squeeze him through.
Then you grab him by the arm and pull him inside.

Keeping a tight hold on him once inside. you quickly cover his mouth.
He begins to panic.

[ ]"dont say a word"
[ ]"this will be over soon"
[ ]"just relax and let me take the lead"

>>18067865
Lock the door.

rolled 56 = 56

>>18067865

dont say a word

>>18067865
>[x]"dont say a word"
>[x]"this will be over soon"
>[x]"just relax and let me take the lead"

>>18067865

>Anything that will cause more misunderstanding

[x]Just Relax and let me take the lead

This choice is just so Hayate.

rolled 8 = 8

>>18067865
Just relax and let me take the lead.

>>18067865
>[x] "Just relax and let me take the lead."

"Just relax and let me take the lead." you tell him as you lock the door quickly.
His eyes go wide in alarm.

"Now, I'm gonna let go of your mouth, but you promise me not to scream."

***ROLL FOR DIPLOMACY/INTIMIDATION***
^pick wich one you roll for.

rolled 50 = 50

>>18067890
Diplomacy. We're not actually going to sex him up, mind you, just chat.

rolled 94 = 94

>>18067890

Diplomancy!

rolled 74 = 74

>>18067890

Diplomacy.

>>18067890
We're gonna diplomance the pants right offa him.

>>18067899
Literally! Anyway, let's stop rolling now. We got the good roll.

Before he can even reply, you hear this from your window.
"OI, what's going on here?"

There you were. holding Keima against your body, your hand covering his mouth. His eyes full of alarm.
And Erica Hartmann outside your window.

WAT DO OH MASTER BUTLERS?

>>18067865
Don't say a word

rolled 24 = 24

>>18067915
Kiss him

rolled 62 = 62

>>18067915
"I'm here from the future and I can't let anyone know for fear of paradox. I couldn't risk Keima making any loud noises or else the people in the hall would be alerted."

rolled 93 = 93

>>18067915
"Trying to avoid Shirou."

>>18067915
Shirou's out there somewhere, and I don't want him knowing I'm around

>>18067928
Well, there we have it.

>>18067928

Perfect. Eheheh.

rolled 3 = 3

>>18067928
Aw but I like >18067922 more :(

>>18067927
The paradox issue is dead now bro, they'd have to actually work to find our past self and disrupt our timestream.

We avoid Shirou just because he somehow would manage it.

"Trying to avoid Shirou." you tell her in the most deadpan voice you can muster at the moment.

"and why do you look like you're gonna violate Keima? DEAR GOD MAN! LET HIM BREATH!"

You realize that your hand was still over Keima's mouth. and abruptly let him go.

"jerk." he says.

"Sooo uh... Keima." You say while scratching the back of your head. "what brings you here?"

"I was gonna ask you why you were sneaking around the whole day, I didn't expect to be choked choked."

[ ] waht do you mean?
[ ] abort abort
[ ] kiss him

rolled 73 = 73

Kiss him

rolled 94 = 94

>>18067986
[x] kiss him

JUST BECAUSE

rolled 48 = 48

>>18067986

>DENY

"Ahahah, Whatever do you mean?"

>>18067986
Shenanigans, don't worry about it anymore, anyways, if that's all then out you go, don't mention me to Shirou.

rolled 20 = 20

>>18067986
Again, avoiding Shirou, and getting ready to improve my door.