The players have looted three worlds successfully so far:

The first, a Dating Sim world gone wrong when a smelly, obese neckbeard found a way to bring women through the Meta to him and mind control them into servitude, leaving many canons without some of their main characters.
You went in, picked up everything that wasn't nailed down, and got out.

The second, Black Mesa from Half-Life. The G-man was too busy playing Quake 3 Arena, and relied on you, Transpace Guard operatives, to fill plotholes and loot everything that wasn't nailed down.
You proceeded to do so.

The third, Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, was under siege by the dwarves from Dwarf Fortress. You were able to defeat the dwarves and grab most of the loot - however, opting not to do the Abyss, Pan, Hells, or grab the Orb of Zot itself.

Now, you have arrived back at base, and are talking to NPCs and exploring the setting before your next mission.

Your loadout thus far:
1 Skyranger with Meta-capable drive and early 21st century scanners.
17365 DOSH (DOSH = unit of currency)
Between 0 and 4 active players

You are at Base. These are your options:
#1: Check the news of recent events.
#2: See how the creatures you captured from Stone Soup are doing.
#3: Check the status on the follow-up mission to the Crawl world, for setting up an Abyss-wide Quake 3 Arena tournament in the name of the Transpace Guard.
#4: See how the mission to Alpha Centauri went.
#5: See how the mission to the Sailor Moon fan-character hellhole went.
#6: See which NPCs are available to talk to, and talk to them.

After you are done with base, you may pick 0 or 1 bonus missions to complete:
#1: Free time
You have been paid 868 DOSH to use for your own ends. Be a Meta tourist, or make your own unrelated mission. Try not to do anything that will get you fired.
#2. Booze run with Max
Max has expressed interest in a Booze run: Collect BOOZE, SMOKES and GIRLS from as many different canons as you can within 2 hours.

You also must select 1 MAIN MISSION:
#1: Loot a planet, A:
A planet with Psi-rich crystals has been located in the Starcraft Universe, and is currently being fought over endlessly by Zerg, Terran and Protoss. Conquer this planet, establish a year-long peace treaty with each of the three, and we'll loot the entire planet.
#2. Loot a planet, B:
A planet with time-morphing capabilities, the Little Planet, has appeared in orbit of Moebius, as part of the "Sonic CD" canon. We are yet to determine exactly what place in the Timeline this occurs due to the interference. Ensure the Canon takes place as intended, then loot the planet afterwards.
#3. Loot a planet, C:
We have located a Civilization canon. Because it's literally not KNOWN what the canon eventually will turn up like, and because you probably don't want to spend 6000 years on one job, you will be equipped with a Chronosphere that allows you to make jumps forward, and backward, in time as need be.
Ensure that you are in control of a nation which, itself, controls the entire world, by as early (in-game time) as possible. We will then loot the entire planet.

Note that the planets themselves may only be worth 1000 or 2000 DOSH to us. Spending too much on your loadout will result in a loss of DOSH, and thus a failed mission, even if you accomplish all the looting successfully.

The players are also equipped with COMMON SENSE.

Whenever you suggest something that is retarded, you lose a bulb of COMMON SENSE, and the suggestion is ignored.
Whenever you suggest something particularly smart, you gain a bulb of COMMON SENSE.
If you would gain a bulb of common sense, but have already filled all your bulbs, then you SUPERCHARGE a bulb and turn it red. Supercharge all your bulbs to level up your common sense!

Currently, your COMMON SENSE is at level 6:
>Extra Bulb 3
You have 3 extra bulbs, on top of the standard 3.
>Red 2
Whenever you would earn 1 Red bulb, you instead earn 3.
>Green 1
Bulbs now start Green. A bulb turns from Green to Yellow to upgrade an action from "Acceptable, but still kind of derpy" to "Good", or "Good, but you missed a few things" to "Great".

1&3 atleast, and then lets do bonus #1 to go to a hardcore minecraft world: find diamonds, capture mobs, and see what use ender pearls are to us.

It may be a few hours before the active players show up. This thread never does get many active players.
>>18030859
Wait, there's one. Hello. :) Are you a new player, or have you participated before?

>>18030859
also, main mission 1 or 2, 3 sounds like it has a low DOSH gain potential, although admitedly i have little experience of civilisation

>>18030871
new, lurked in the last one though

>>18030900
Welcome to Bootleg Metaquest. There are several things you need to know as a new player!

#1: Suggest stuff to buy with your DOSH, and after much arguing and bickering, you'll put together a team to accomplish a mission. You then get to command that team, in an attempt to complete the mission.
#2: Being smart is the most valuable thing in existence. It's the skill of the players that makes the difference between everything going well, and everything going to shit.

>>18030950
Also, as a new player, much of the NEWS will be unimportant to you, as you were not present for missions 1 and 2.

In the NEWS, there are of course billions of entries pertaining to the billions of Canons under the Transpace Guard's watch. The entries which most pertain to you are:

February 2nd:
A Looter raid on a Mansion was successful today.
Mansion owner, James White, was an obese neckbeard who had somehow found a way to drag Canon characters to his mansion, across the meta, and then mind control them into his service.
The Looter raid was successful in stealing White's means of kidnapping characters, which turned out to be a set of magical paints from Super Mario 64. However, White was able to summon the Hindu goddess of power, change, and death, Kali, to his aid - and the looters were forced to flee.
An Editor team is being sent in to deal with the disturbance.

February 2nd:
A Looter raid on a Mansion was successful today.
Mansion owner, James White, was an obese neckbeard who had somehow found a way to drag Canon characters to his mansion, across the meta, and then mind control them into his service.
However, by the time the Looters arrived, James White had been killed by his own hubris, when he summoned the Hindu goddess of power, change, and death, Kali.
Kali had taken over the mansion in his stead.
Faced with this new foe, the Looters did what Looters are known to do - they successfully charmed, and looted, Kali - along with 9 other characters.
Efforts are underway to return these characters to their homes.
>more

>>18031092
February 3rd:
Raid on Goldshire Successful
A Transpace Guard Editor division was successful in stamping out a hive of S.U.E. and villainy earlier today.
Yesterday, Transpace Looter teams recovered a painting which allowed infantry-sized objects to traverse the Meta. One particular portrait lead to the World of Warcraft, where the S.U.E. hotspot was located.
Moving quickly, the Editors - with the aid of some Adeptus Astartes - were able to raze Goldshire to the ground, slaughtering S.U.E.s by the dozens, and curse the town to kill any who "Logged in" to it.
A Capital-class reality emitter was then buried to ensure that the dead stayed dead, before Game Masters, the local canon enforcers, removed the Editor team from Azeroth for 72 hours.
As a result of this action, the Transpace Guard gained great support amongst the populace, and was able to open up a recruiting office on Azeroth. Our numbers swell with new recruits.
Human Resources, says that over 90% of said recruits are affected with "retardation", and are thus unusable.
Efforts are underway to construct a "retard obstacle course". Those who succeed are offered a chance to work for the guard, whereas those who fail are tasked to collect powerful shiny crap for us in exchange for non-combat pets.
>more

>>18031219
>more
A branch of the Ordo Malleus has been established on Azeroth and is continuing to hunt and exterminate any S.U.E.s. More news as it becomes available.

February 3rd:
Hedonist attacks intensified upon our space in retaliation for our attack on Goldshire.
Canon forces, working in conjunction with editor teams, were able to repel the Hedonists from a Pokemon and a Digimon canon. Using this event as leverage, the Transpace Guard has established a recruiting branch in Rustboro City, and has plans to establish branches in other regions as well. Many eager pokemon trainers - and the pokemon themselves - have agreed to join us to combat Hedonist forces across the meta.
>more

February 3rd:
Editors rescue Mario!
Shipper interference caused reality distortions in another Mario canon today, which Editor forces quickly rectified.
Scouts have reported that Princess Peach had kidnapped both Mario and Bowser, in a turnabout to the usual story. Scout reports claim that both were interred willingly in Peach's castle, and evidence of Shipper aphrodisiacs had been discovered.
An Editor team then mobilised, and neutralised the effects of the aphrodisiacs, returning the canon to normal.

>more

>>18031335
February 4th:
Hedonist raid kills thousands!
A Sailor Moon canon, slated to be 'burned' due to high amounts of S.U.E. infestation, was attacked en masse by a Hedonist armada.
The canon was then 'burned' when the Earth's and Moon's surfaces were rendered molten by orbital bombardment.
A Looter team was successful in rescuing some of the canon characters, then escaping.

>more

>>18030730

Base Options:

ALL OF THEM!

February 4th:
Foolish looting contaminates Meta!
A Looter team were executed earlier today for violating the Prime Directive, and revealing the existence of the Meta to a planet of technologically advanced, warlike people.
The planet, called 'Planet' from the Alpha Centauri canon, was to be infiltrated stealthily by the Looter team in an attempt to acquire technology. However, the inexperienced looter teams failed in their infiltration, and in their attempt to bullshit their way out of the situation, revealed the existence of the Meta to canon natives.
The looting team's captain's final words were "It seemed like a good idea at the time".

>>18031511
>>18031431
>>18031335
>>18031287
>>18031219
>>18031092
Let's see. Was that all of them?
I think so.
It's Feb. 6th currently, with your forces coming back from the Crawl canon.

Base options remaining:
#2: See how the creatures you captured from Stone Soup are doing.
#3: Check the status on the follow-up mission to the Crawl world, for setting up an Abyss-wide Quake 3 Arena tournament in the name of the Transpace Guard.
#4: See how the mission to Alpha Centauri went.
#5: See how the mission to the Sailor Moon fan-character hellhole went.
#6: See which NPCs are available to talk to, and talk to them.

>>18031558
And yes, the SMAC and Sailor Moon missions DO have more info than a one paragraph news clip. After all, you do work here, and can talk to the people involved.

>>18031558
Aw balls I forgot your own black mesa mission, didn't I?

February 3rd:
Raid on Black Mesa Successful
A Transpace Guard Looter division was successful in looting a Half-Life canon earlier today, despite being under major time constraints.
Not much is known about how the mission went, but it is believed the G-man was involved somehow.
Sparse reports of the G-man being sighted around base were made today, but none were able to be confirmed.

>>18031453
So, which option now? #2, or #3? Seems like there's one person for both!

>>18031602

#3 sounds good. We'll get to all of them eventually, I'm sure.

>>18031640
>#3: Check the status on the follow-up mission to the Crawl world, for setting up an Abyss-wide Quake 3 Arena tournament in the name of the Transpace Guard.
You opt to investigate the team to Crawl first.
...
After checking in with Base reception, and verifying your clearance, you are directed to a rather large landing bay a few floors up.
What you see when you arrive there is basically what you expect.

A huge gathering of Quake 3 Characters, all milling around. A bit of bullshitting reveals that the Vadrigar who's to lead this mission is still on assignment, but should be back in a day or two.

>>18031691
While you are waiting around, two things catch your attention.
#3.1: Another group of Looters is gearing up for a mission. The
#3.2: The Mikubot you rescued from Mission 1 is milling around here.

Would you like to talk to either of them? If so, which one?

>>18031721
i say both, but lets go for 1 first

>>18031745
You approach the other group of looters. Their captain approaches you.

"Hello. Aren't you the guy from the previous crawl mission?"
"If you are, did you pick up the orb? Please tell me you did NOT pick up the orb."

>>18031757

"The Orb of Zot? No, I don't think we did."

"We chose not to pursue it when we discovered a SUE was guarding it. We got screwed out of the loot that he promised that he would leave us if we left him and the Orb alone. I think we managed to get the creatures that were milling about on the same floor, though."

"What happened?"

>>18031721

For #3.2:

"Hello there, Miku. How are you holding up nowadays? Making lots of new friends at your performances lately? I'd think you'd be a hit with some of the more droidy personnel that we have on staff here."

"I noticed you were talking to a grey man with a kilt before we were assigned to our previous mission. Are you feeling OK?"

Also, let's see how Benny's doing.

>>18031786
"Ha! Mission's on, guys!"
A group of soldiers cheer. Well, some do. Some look like shit just hit the fan.
"S.U.E. on the orb? Fuck it, we're not going for the orb anyway. Step out of the Skyranger, everyone. Here, let me show you my team."

You see the team the other captain assembled:
3 Doomguys (Quake 3 Arena)
1 Anarki (Quake 3 Arena), who waves at you and says "sup d00d".
1 Dante (Devil May Cry)
3 White Mages (FFT)
1 Auror (Harry Potter)
1 @ (Nethack)
1 Paladin (Warcraft 3)
1 Tauren (Warcraft 3)
"Yo, is that spirit link totem working?"
The Tauren screws around a bit with the Totem he carries, before a white beam of light bounces between all team members present.
"Good."
>Spirit Link totem: Splits HP damage evenly amongst party members

>>18031786
>>18031837
"Pretty neat team, eh? Cost a lot, but worth it."
"We're going to Loot the Hells and Pandemonium. I know we'll have to go through the Dwarves first, but we'll think of something."
Anarki is fiddling around with sensor equipment. "d00d th1s g33r i5 b00lsh1t"

>>18031837
>>18031859
Dante notes that it "Looks like it's showtime."
Dante wishes to shake your hand.
Shake Dante's hand y/n?
The Doomguys bounce back and forth, testing their aim with their weapons.
The White mages have a worried look on their faces.
The Paladin insists that he "Face the peril", while the Tauren makes various beef puns.

Waiting for input.

I suppose there are no players at the moment. I'll come back later.

>>18031859
Well, there shouldn't be that many dwarves. We completely annihilated thier base. Bring something that'll help you breath underwater if you're looting the hells. We kinda flooded their base and the horn's still in there.

>>18031885

We should shake Dantes hand, its all about the ice cream sundaes.

>>18031985
Oh, there's one. /wave

"Aye, got bubble head charms for everyone."
He points to the Auror.
"And as for the dwarves, we're trying a peaceful route first. If that fails, stealthy. If that fails, well, fuck it."
"Yeah, heard that the Horn, and the damn Rune, were down there. We've brought along a giant wheel of Cheese, planning to trade it for them."
He points to a bag of holding.
"Dwarves pay way too fuckin' much for cheese, don't they?"

>>18031994
Dante moves his hand back at the last minute, and claims that you are too slow.
"Ha! Just kidding."
He then shakes your hand.
"Name's Dante. I work here 'cause the pay's good and I get to kick ass a lot."

>>18032011
Your options are:
A. Continue to Bullshit with these guys. If you select this option, specify what to say, and to whom.
B. Go talk to Miku

#5: See how the mission to the Sailor Moon fan-character hellhole went.

Let's check out this one.

Also, what is the Hedonist faction? Is it the precursor to the Firemen?

>>18032033

Lets go talk to Miku, I'm sure theres other stuff for us to be getting on with.

>>18032052
The Hedonist faction are basically the slave traders of the Meta, even moreso than the Shippers.
Your freaky "oh god what the fuck" fetishes are covered by them.
They are a large faction. Very poorly organised, but large. I believe the phrase "Tidal wave of piss" comes to mind.

Though we took out Goldshire, they have an even larger base in the Second Life canons.

>>18032033
B. Go talk to Miku

"Did you make any new friends today, Miku? Did you meet any other fellow vocaloids?"

>>18032079
So by the time of Metaquest (how many years is that ahead?), they're still around, huh?

We haven't had any raids on Hedonists or Shippers in the main quests. My impression is that they're sort-of-like space pirates, with stolen goods.... like the occasional stash of late model VF-1's, VF-17's and VF-11's.

>>18032070
>>18031828
>"Hello there, Miku. How are you holding up nowadays?"
"Fine!"
She seems cheerful.
"I got two new boyfriends today. Do you like them?"
She is showing off her ... armor and chaingun.
>" Making lots of new friends at your performances lately?"
"Not as many as I'd like. Everyone here is busy, busy, busy. Sometimes I wonder why they came here! Most people are really nice, though."
>"I'd think you'd be a hit with some of the more droidy personnel that we have on staff here."
"Nah, they think I'm a poser. Can't blame them. I am a robot GIRL, after all. I think the droids are more into robot ROBOTS."
She pouts somewhat.
>"I noticed you were talking to a grey man with a kilt before we were assigned to our previous mission. Are you feeling OK?"
"Yes! He helped me put my work in perspective. Now I'm enjoying my job a lot more."
She smiles.
>"Did you make any new friends today, Miku?"
Yes! Plenty. That Dante over there is really cute. Though I think Anarki's a bit jealous. Oh well. Always room for new boyfriends!
>"Did you meet any other fellow vocaloids?"
"No, but I haven't really looked >.>"

>>18031828
>Also, let's see how Benny's doing.
MISSION ADDED. Will be listed once you're done talking with the mikubot.

>>18032121
Most likely, the Transpace Guard have been killing Hedonists and Shippers.
Either that or they're sticking to canons outside of TG space.
Possibly a bit of both.

>>18032131

>Armor/Chaingun

Looking to get your frag on, eh? A noble profession. Are you planning to sign up with a looter team, or are you just diversifying your interests now that you can pretty much train to do anything in the multiverse?

You might also want to look into rocket launching. I hear Anarki over there's a pro!

>>18032222
>>canons outside of TG space
>>do our own version of requisitions/looting come the requisition hiatus
>>can't go into other sectors' space without permission

I wonder who's the uncreative bastard complaining all the time when we try to get around our problems.

Probably someone who doesn't attend planning threads or the bootleg quests, and samefags us to death.

>>18032234
>Looking to get your frag on, eh?
"Hell yes!"
She seems giddy with excitement.
>Are you planning to sign up with a looter team, or are you just diversifying your interests now that you can pretty much train to do anything in the multiverse?
"I never thought about it. I mostly just go where people say they need me. I don't think I want to join as a Looter, though - too much sneaking around, and I was never very good at that."
>You might also want to look into rocket launching. I hear Anarki over there's a pro!
"Not indoors in a crowded room, silly!"

Seems exposure to TNO and Anarki has lightened her up a bit on the whole Killing thing.

"Anyway, I'm not on the Abyss team. Just came to say goodbye to my 3rd boyfriend. They've got me working on some ... cyberpunk ... thing. No idea. But the leader's still arguing with some guy about who to take with him."

>>18032234
"What if you could use your singing to help other people instead of using guns? I'm sure someone's found a way to make music into power."

>>18032282
"Why not BOTH?"
She sings merrily as her chaingun provides the bass, making bulletholes in the shape of a heart in a nearby targetboard that railgun shots keep hitting (and missing).
She smiles.

"Anyway, you should take a look at this weapon design the Guard showed me today. It's kind of old, but it's really neat! They call it the 'lucky 21'"
>Lucky 21, 35 DOSH for the gun, 300 DOSH for the ammo.
>20 "Weakness to magicka 100% for 2 seconds" shots, all labelled differently.
>1 shot with:
>"All harmful effects on the target last 100% longer" for 2 seconds
>1 "Target takes 100% more damage from all sources" for 2 seconds
>1 "Target takes 100% longer to perform any action" for 2 seconds
"1 million times the damage, and 1 millionth the speed. It's enough to kill a God. Just thinking about it makes me..."
Miku seems to have quite the weapons-and-mecha fetish.
"... Anyway, I need to go find Anarki. Um, like, right now. Cya!"

rolled 4 = 4

How much did we get for looting the god? I looked on the archived page for the last thread, but i just sac that it was liosted as ???

>BASE OPTIONS:
>
#2: See how the creatures you captured from Stone Soup are doing.
>
#4: See how the mission to Alpha Centauri went.
#5: See how the mission to the Sailor Moon fan-character hellhole went.
#6: See which NPCs are available to talk to, and talk to them.
#7: Check the reconstruction tanks, see if Benny's back yet.

>>18032281

>Not indoors in a crowded room

But that's like the best time to use rockets! Got ten enemies all clumped up in a small room? Bam. Giblets everywhere. Although I suppose you have a point. Grenades would be better for a safer angle, and gibbing friendlies is highly frowned upon even if they can respawn or be raised.

>Arguing about requisitions

That will happen. A lot. A sadly unavoidable consequence of having too many choices to pick from.

>>18032398
500. My bad for not stating.
Should it be more? Possibly. Not sure. I would've liked to give you 2000, but unfortunately worshipping the bastard spawns loot-eating slimes everywhere.

>>18032419

Let's see what's behind door #5.

Shell-shocked survivors and canon characters probably, plus one grim canon Scout.

>>18032450
Door #5 it is.
... and you're right. One grim canon scout indeed.
Mercury looks visibly upset. There's no sign of anyone else nearby, however.

Talk to Mercury?

>>18032490
Seems the players have left. Guess I'll go play video games for a while.

rolled 20 = 20

>>18032596
Let's talk to her for more delicious backstory.

>>18032490

"Hi Mercury. Er, Ami."

"We heard on the news about what happened to your canon. We're sorry for your loss... How are you holding up?"

"We are hesitant to ask, given what just happened... but do you know what transpired there?"

>>18032612
>>18032626
T'was a good game.

"It was awful."
"At first, it was ... well, okay. There were hordes of illiterate, immature, spoilt brats that were half-vampire, half-angel, half- who knows what. At first, I was glad they were going to be killed, so I could get back to fighting the negaverse with my friends."

"But ... the perverts. Hedonists? They came."
"They kidnapped us all, I barely got out with my life, thanks to some tips Kali showed me. Turns out there are some weak spots on every person that you can freeze and shatter, and when your enemies are trying to ... handle you, those weak spots are very exposed."

"Mars, Jupiter, Venus ... all had to be sent for Reconstruction. We couldn't save Sailor Moon. The perverts ... were on her like a swarm ... and when the rescue team came, there was nothing left of her to save."
Mercury is upset.

"The city's destroyed, too. Someone turned Rini into a giant monster. Turns out that's just another one of their sick fetishes too, watching little girls kill people."
Mercury is angry.

>>18032897
>>Rini
>>not chibi usa.

Sorry op, I've been hitting up UFO Apocalypse as I kinda killed myself in my last game, so I've been dropping in between it crashing.

Too bad we can't go bust up these peoples chops on their own turf.

>>18032897
"Rini's calmed down now, but we're still working on a way to turn her back to normal. If you have any input on the matter, you can head over to the Stadium - it was the only place big enough to hold her."
"For now, I ... have a lot to think about."
Mercury is upset over recent occurrences.

OOC: I wanted to include a 'helpful non mary sue character' here, but I honestly could not find one, and any of my ideas for original ones were retarded, so I didn't.

>>18032914
Very well, you may call the Chibiusa "Chibiusa".

>>18032953

"Shit. That's pretty heavy stuff."

"There might be a few characters that might be able to help with Sailor Moon, as unlikely as that sounds. But that case might be in the Editor's domain now that the Hedonists came and messed everything up. They may have to resort to drastic measures to restore the canon, now."

"I'm not sure what we can do, but we'll definitely look into what we can do about your friend in the stadium."

>>18033054
"I don't think the story can be restored ... every place and person important to us was smashed to pieces then melted to glass. So for now, I don't know what to do."
"I thought about joining the guard, but revenge isn't the answer. And I have no place else to go. So I guess ... this is the end, then?"

Indeed it is.

Do you wish to check out the issue at the Stadium? It's unlikely that you could help, but you can go there anyway. Wouldn't hurt, at least!

>>18033102

Indeed, so long as we don't get stepped on, woudn't hurt at all, lets roll over to the stadium and see whats what for ourselves.

rolled 15 = 15

>>18033102
What about using a polymorph spell to change them back into a human?
Would a nethack or crawl polymorph work for the task?

>>18033102

"Revenge is not the answer for you, I agree. But there is always room in the Guard for people looking to prevent the multiverse from the wrong people. Your home may be destroyed and warped, but you can still find purpose in what you and your friends do."

Let's see if we can have Superman or someone talk to Ami. He's all about protecting new worlds after his homeworld was destroyed!

>The stadium

Sure why not.

I need another shot of depressulin.

>>18033200
You talked to Mercury.
Mercury joins the Guard!

>>18033123
>>18033200
You opt to head on over to the Stadium.
There, you find a ... rather tall version of Chibiusa (Not as tall as the picture, but easily tall enough to destroy a building). She looks very upset. From a distance, a crew with a scanner points it at her, shrugging.

Also: Don't google image search Chibiusa if you like your sanity. Sheesh, those Hedonists are even invading google.

One of the workers on site approaches you.
"Wait. I know she doesn't look aggressive now, but she just levelled a city. It'd be wise to keep your distance, and if you're only here to talk to her, you should probably talk from a distance."
Wise advice.
"There's definitely SOMETHING magic in there that's causing this, but we can't tell it apart from the canon magic that's a part of her. We'll figure it out eventually."

Would you like to ask anything of the staff present?
What would you like to say to Chibiusa?

>>18033271

Carefully make our way over to the team with the scanners.

Ask them about the current situation with Chibriniusararghfolkfhnmwhatever.

>>18033271
Do we get DOSH for helping to recruit someone that's already on-base?
What about just using an antimagic field to cancel all the magical effects in the area she is currently in?

>>18033289

Check with the staff if theres anything odd with her. We might find some applicable artifacts in our trips and we might be going for that planet development thing. We might be able to influence them to come up with something.

Chat with Dekaiusa for abit. How is she and all that, that we'll also try to get her back to normal.

>>18033289

Is there a record of what the Hedonists did to Chibisua/Rini?

I know we're only a Looter team, but could we see the record? Or at least get a description of what happened to her?

>>18033271

Actually, we should go back and drag Mercury over.

Her scanners are probably the best calibrated to detect Chibiusa's magic and filter them out to find out whats wrong with her.

>>18033314
>>18033322
Strangely, any attempts to dispel magic only work as long as they are channeled, and as soon as you stop channeling, Chibiusa resumes being not-so-chibi.
There's definitely SOMETHING maintaining the unusual size, but it's hard to find out what.

"The current situation? Something's making her big, and keeping her big. It also made her ANGRY, but it didn't keep her that way, thankfully. Do you know how hard it is to capture and restrain a giant?"
>Mission added: Loot a giant, make it look easy, brag to that guy

>>18033367

Didn't we already loot several giant-sized creatures during our Dungeon Crawl mission?

>>18033340
>Check with the staff if theres anything odd with her.
"Nope. Just the clothes she was wearing, and anything innate to her. X-rays picked up nothing."

>Chat with Gargantua Pinkhairus
I'll get around to that last, to avoid interrupting flow

>Is there a record of what the Hedonists did to Chibisua/Rini?
Yes, and it all amounts to various forms of nonconsensual sexual conduct. ... Well, a long period of nonconsensual sexual conduct, followed by a very brief period of getting flattened.

>Actually, we should go back and drag Mercury over.
You opt to drag Mercury over. "I already looked with my scanner - it's not anything inside her, that I can see. I see magic all over her, particularily her costume, but that's normal for a Sailor Scout."
Mercury shrugs.

>Didn't we already loot several giant-sized creatures during our Dungeon Crawl mission?
Not quite this size, no.

>>18033367
Space Patrol Delta tech. They have these wacko confinement cards that can compress giant size monsters and imprison them inside.

>>18033423
>Chat with Dekaiusa for abit. How is she and all that, that we'll also try to get her back to normal.
"I know, you're trying to help. Thank you. But I don't know what else to tell you!"

"How am I? I watched some of my BEST FRIENDS DIE by my OWN TWO HANDS. I watched the places I grew up in loved be DESTROYED. I did all of this, and worst of all is, at the time I was doing it, it felt good."
"I know it was wrong, and I'm very sorry, but I ... don't know ..."
She seems upset. Everyone take your shots of depressium!

>What else should you be saying?

>>18033423

Hmm. Either her giganto-size is a particularly strong persistent enchantment, or perhaps it's triggered by state of mind. Like Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk, who initially transformed whenever he was angry. He also found a way to be Hulk on a more permanent basis; perhaps the TG team working on this would find a lead if they investigated further in this train of thought.

How about drugging her, then carrying her off for logistics to deal with.
Feeding her some sedatives with a giant sized meal might work as a delivery method.
Could we use the big green crystalk to disable the magical effect?
If we still have any see through walls gear, we could teleslice the nerves going to her arms and legs, leaving her disabled until she gets healed.
Soul gem and a teleslice to the neck and possibly several slices to the head?
How about using a charm spell on her, do we still have anyone with one with us? (nethack charm monster?)
I want to find the source of the problem though, so let's check our reality sensors for anything interesting.

Let's also compare her current outfit to past pictures of it, and see if they stuck a magic brooch on it or something.

>>18033423

Man, I bet they enchanted her Sailor uniform/transform item to keep her big, most likely the last thing she'd ever want to be rid of. Of course the only way we could check anything in detail would be to make use of Mercury, trusting face and all that.

>>18033503
>Strong Persistent Enchantment
"No go there, we dispelled any Enchantments from her. Was the first thing we did, and that's how we got her to calm down!"
"State of mind, eh? Like someone gave her the Power to grow big? That might be the case, but we'd need to talk to her to find out, and I don't think she's in ... quite the mindset for that."

>>18033510
Her outfit looks pretty much the same as the traditional sailor garb, only ... bigger.

As for your lethal suggestions, people look at you kind of funny. Chibiusa herself shoots you a mean glare.
"I don't think drugging or attacking our only witness would help us here, sir."
>You're lucky I don't take bulbs off for base missions.

>>18033465

/light up a cig for dramatic effect

"Kid, do you think for a second, that those who cared for you are gonna blame you? You weren't in control of your actions and from what you said, you had the misfortune of being concious throughout.

...

It hurt didn't it, struggling to resist and stop but not being able to do so?"

Screw the safety warning, go forward and pat her.

"You did what you possibly could kid, no one, especially not those that cared for you are gonna hold that against you.

We'll find a cure, we'll get you back to normal. After that... well, one step at a time, eh?"

>>18033510
More brainstorming:
Can we have Mercury have a look around for anything magical or otherwise unusual?
Do we have logs showing where the hedonist forces were? if we do, we should check those for anything being carried, and limit our searches to the areas that they or their things have been.

>>18033575

Hmm. If TG has a device that can give off a highly localized antimagic field, perhaps they can use that to investigate if there's a particular area on her or a piece of equipment that's making her giant-sized.

>>18033575
>Man, I bet they enchanted her Sailor uniform/transform item to keep her big, most likely the last thing she'd ever want to be rid of.
"That's a possibility. It's one we'd like to look into. But, um, how do we put this..."
"... do YOU have any experience in asking little traumatised girls to undress for you? Ones who've just been subjected to Hedonist horror? And ones that could kill you with a touch of their fingers?"
"I mean, we're willing to sedate her and do it, but to do so without her permission seems ... um ... ... like more of the same shit she's already been dealing with. It's not right."

>>18030569

OMFG, slowpoke here. This IS /tg/.

This is the game that we're playing. In all ways possible, this is a game of you, /tg/. This is already practically the metagame that is /tg/.

I vote to make TRANSPACE GUARD /tg/ canon.

I feel like I just fell through the mirror. INTERNETS.

>>18033580

Hmm, channel a dispel field at her to bring her back down to normal size, temporarily.

Then have her disengage her transformation and drop her trinket.

Secure the trinket and project a dispell field at it. Then drop the field that was directed at Chibiusa. See if this works.

>>18033580
Sorry for being dumb, i was brainstorming and included ideas for if she was hostile.
>>18033605
This sounds like a good idea, the effect is probably magical due to the effect of an antimagic field on her.
Can we scry for the cause?

>>18033621

We just need to get her some replacement clothes, somewhere to change and get Mercury to tell her to do it, they are friends arent they? You'd think after all she's been through she might want to change into something more, well, covering. We should be able to polymorph a set of clothes into bigger clothes, or at least get our hands on some.

I am against the idea of forcing the issue, the last thing we need is an escapade of 'Attack of the 50ft Sailor'.

>>18033581
>"Kid, do you think for a second, that those who cared for you are gonna blame you?"
... "No, but it's not about blame. I know I'm sorry. But sorry won't bring back the people I killed, and it won't bring back the places I ruined. And most of all, 'sorry' doesn't change how much I enjoyed it, even though I didn't WANT to enjoy it, I don't want to have enjoyed it, but I did."

>"It hurt didn't it, struggling to resist and stop but not being able to do so?"
"Of course it did. If only I could've struggled harder. Struggled harder... struggle ... harder ..."
She seems to be ... remembering something.
"Ack! Okay, so there WERE some people that I'm NOT sorry I stepped on. But most people are Good people that don't deserve to die."
>Screw the safety warning, go forward and pat her.
She seems thankful. She smiles a little.
>"You did what you possibly could kid, no one, especially not those that cared for you are gonna hold that against you."
"But I'll still hold it against myself. I have to. You can't just let go of things like that."
>We'll find a cure, we'll get you back to normal.
"I know. But I've done all I can to help you! I've told you everything that happened ... everything ..."
She's back to upset again.

>>18033624
What the...?

>>18033621
Sorry, I had to take off for a bit. Could we have a D&D Wizard do a "Reduce Person." It should shrink her for at least a little while. If that doesn't work, could we try asking her to untransform?

>>18033659

Since we have some forms of channeled dispel here already, we could carry out the localized antimagic/dispelling field analysis right now.

We should also get Peter Perigree on this. Hogwarts specializes in all sorts of charms and enchantments with permanency; he's more qualified that we are to say what kind of magic might be afflicting her.

>>18033583
>Can we have Mercury have a look around for anything magical or otherwise unusual?
"Room's clean. Well, aside from the dirt. But it's not magical dirt."
>Do we have logs showing where the hedonist forces were? if we do, we should check those for anything being carried, and limit our searches to the areas that they or their things have been.
Been making her dress up in all these cute little costumes and ... well, doing what their namesake implies.
>>18033605
>Hmm. If TG has a device that can give off a highly localized antimagic field, perhaps they can use that to investigate if there's a particular area on her or a piece of equipment that's making her giant-sized
They scan the device over Chibiusa. She reports that it feels ticklish. Seems that antimagicking her Head or Heart doesn't trigger anything. However, aiming everywhere BUT her head, does.
"Well, that rules out Emotion manipulation.", an attendant says.

>Hmm, channel a dispel field at her to bring her back down to normal size, temporarily.
Chibiusa: "Here we go again!"
>Then have her disengage her transformation and drop her trinket.
She's already not transformed, would you like her to transform?

>Can we scry for the cause?
Too much distortion in the area (read: No autowin 4 j00)

>We just need to get her some replacement clothes, somewhere to change and get Mercury to tell her to do it, they are friends arent they? You'd think after all she's been through she might want to change into something more, well, covering. We should be able to polymorph a set of clothes into bigger clothes, or at least get our hands on some.
"What? Are you SERIOUS?" Chibiusa retorts.
"Where are we going to find a private place for someone THAT big..." Mercury wonders.
"I'll DO it, but you'd need to get me some clothes my size..." Chibiusa ponders.

>Could we have a D&D Wizard do a "Reduce Person."
Oddly enough it doesn't seem to work. There's some "Set size to x" shenanigans going on here.

>>18033811
Based on those, it's either likely her clothes, or something inside her torso.

Ask her if she ate anything right before she grew.

>>18033811
"Uhh, we COULD channel a dispelling field, but I'm not sure it'd last long enough to get you changed, miss Chibiusa. And, we'd need someone to aim it."
"As for giant-sized clothes? ... Well, we could bring some, but, uh, we'd need to measure her first."
This attendant seems scared of the idea.

nonetheless, you seem to be on the right track.
Any further ideas?

>Ask her if she ate anything right before she grew.
"Ugh. Just the (description of sexual acts removed). It was disgusting."
Chibiusa scrunches her face and gags a little.

>>18033811

She... Shes not transformed? Huh. Thats new. Was operating under the assumption that she was. Its goota be the clothes then.

Check with requisition, they should have something fairly normal for her to wear. See if we can pull one of those Movie Fantastic 4 based suits which can grow to fit the person. This way it won't rip if she reverts.

We should clear the room and let Mercury change her before we go back and turn off the field.

Otherwise we could have her transform and maybe, just maybe the magic in her transformation trinket will shred or override the invasive one.

>>18033851
>>18033367
We could attempt to buy Zentraedi-sized clothes from Zentraedi malls in the later Macross canon.

>>18033704 ITT

ITT: /tg/ cannot take a compliment.

>>18033701

"Rini... er... Chibiusa? I'm sorry, I'm really bad with names."

"I know you feel bad about what you did, even with the knowledge that you were compelled to do so against your will. That is normal... and perhaps proper. It shows that even after all the horrors that you were subjected to, you remain a sapient, sentient being with integrity and regret."

"But your regrets... there must be at least 5 different iterations of the same person working in the Transspace Guard who can tell you about how regret and belief messed up his lives, and many others. While I think it is a good thing that you feel bad about this situation, flogging yourself with whips isn’t going to help anyone. All it does is build a wall around yourself made of your regrets, one by one, until you soon find yourself in a *fortress* built of your regrets that will push everyone away.”

“Your friends have forgiven you for what you have done. We don’t hold you accountable for what the Hedonists forced you to do. The only person who hasn’t forgiven you in the entire multiverse is yourself. Do not forget about what transpired on your world, but coming to terms with what was done is equally important."

>>18033861
>>18033862
*sigh* All right, everyone close your eyes and look away for a second.

Close eyes and look away for a second y/n?

>>18033851
If we need someone to channel a Anti-magic field, we could get our Theurge in here to do so. Mercury could help her change.

Preferably, get a set of magic clothes that change size with the user just in case it doesn't work.

>>18033906

>What is dis you /d/m.

>>18033906
. . . leaves the room untill she's changed.

>>18033904
Chibiusa ponders this.
"I can't forget just like that, I'm sorry. And I don't WANT to forget, I need to remember what happened."
>>18033925
>>18033927

Some time later ...

"k done. Didn't work."
Chibiusa has changed clothes, but the enchantment still affects her.
"Testing dispelling field..."
"Here we go agai--- woah!"
Chibiusa seems returned to normal.
She looks at herself, hugs Mercury, hugs >>18033581, hugs>>18033904, and makes a :P face at >>18033510

"Testing dispelling field on the clothes..."
"... no effect."
"Right. We're gonna need a Disjunction on this crap."
"Or chuck it in storage."
"It's CLOTHES for A GIANT LITTLE GIRL. Who the fuck would want THAT for their editorial missions?"
"I dunno."

Gentlemen, I think we should end our current course of action. The base crew will work out a solution eventually.

Also, voting to see what happened to the Crawl monsters.

>>18033974

"Honestly guys? We're the guard, we don't need that sorta shit.

I say we chuck it into the nearest sun. Fucking deviant bastards who designed that cursed thing..."

>>18033974
Little girl clothes that makes someone giant. . .

If we could figure out a way to suppress the enchant for periods of time, it could be a powerful weapon. Does it affect any items the person is holding? Enlarge person is an expecially handy buff.

>>18033974
"Good ol' Saiyan armor. Apparently keeps its shape and stays comfy even on size changers." An attendant says.
"It feels kind of funny." Chibiusa remarks.

Well, that's ONE issue solved. Grats /tg/, you talked a little girl into taking her clothes off, and you did it without any hint of perversion. You win the WHITE KNIGHT MEDAL OF THE YEAR.

>Fucking deviant bastards who designed that cursed thing...
"Then son, you don't wanna see anything in the Second Life canon. Got a whole army of the most brilliant designers and the most perverted minds, and often the two are the same. We're talking [CENSORED] cannons that shoot out homing [CENSORED] that [CENSORED] the target with thousands of rainbow colored [CENSORED]."

>If we could figure out a way to suppress the enchant for periods of time, it could be a powerful weapon. Does it affect any items the person is holding? Enlarge person is an expecially handy buff.
Just itself, and the person inside it. Currently nobody has any idea how to suppress the effect. Magic team is running over the thing now, with occasional interrupts as one of them grows due to the effect, fumbles around a bit to get the clothes off, then reduces. It's kind of comical to watch.

>>18034011
50-foot sized Terminators/Space Marines?

>>18034052
In little girl's clothes. Son, I'm sure that's no less than 3 different kinds of Heretical.

>Also, voting to see what happened to the Crawl monsters.
Roger that! Off to the crawl monsters, unless someone wishes to say "lol join the guard its awsome k bye" to Chibiusa or something.

>>18034080
/gives Chibiusa our card.
Well, I hope things get better. Maybe you could join the guard when you get a few years older if you want. Until then, call us anytime.

>>18034080
Nah.
...One thing that kind of confuses me though is that with the Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask (he's dead right) dead, and the world devastated, doesn't that make her some kind of time paradox?
Like I'm glad she isn't ceasing to exist or whatever...

>>18034110
"Thank you!"
...
"Fight against what? What's a Supernatural Unbalanced?"
Chibiusa seems thankful for the gesture.

>Crawl monsters gogo

>>18033974
>>18033974
>>18034048

"Glad to see that it worked out. I agree that you should never forget what happened, but do not let it turn into crippling regret."

We should totally get Tirion Fordring or some other paragon of Righteous yet Sensible Justice to have a chat with Rini. Lest she turn to other, darker sources to deal with the tragedy.

>>18034048
Fuck, those canons sound so utterly warped that we could drop a couple ICBMs into them and lose nothing of value.

>>18034150

"Ahaha... Thats gonna take awhile to explain...

/commence shortened infodump

Mercury, maybe you'll want to stay behind for now? Besides looking after Chibiusa, your friends would probably appreciate a familiar face when they get out of medical."

>>18034143
Aye. Unfortunately those two didn't survive the Hedonist attack. And had you not talked to Mercury a few seasons ago, the others would be dead, too.
The Canon is well and truly megafucked. City dead, plot chars dead, negaverse buttraped by a million random half-celestial steed godlymoders.
> Lest she turn to other, darker sources to deal with the tragedy.
Like reading Twilight or playing Bioware games.

Anyway, Crawl monsters!

As you walk towards the monster processing area, a green hand picks you up, and impolitely drops you onto a viewing platform, knocking you thoroughly on your ass.

>>18034150
I suppose the easiest explanation is a very powerful and often insane being who does not not belong to a world, but somehow tricks the world and the people in it into thinking it does?

>>18034221

Oh god, no! Not again!

>>18034221
When you get up, the hand slaps you.
"The fuck?"
"Sorry. Force of habit." A deep voice booms from some distant location.

Ahead of you, this is what you see:
A room, packed wall to wall.
In it, evenly spaced, is 1 Healing basin for every 8 Torture tables.
"Neat, isn't it? I don't even have to heal them anymore.", the disembodied voice booms.
A handful of Stone giants land in a row on the tables.
"I swear. When I was recruited, I figured I'd be stuck as an interior designer. But this ... this is a better job than I had ever hoped for."
The sound of all your captives - at least 10,000 of them - being tortured is ... loud.

>>18034269
"How long does this... process... usually take?"

>>18034221
We'll need a Rewriter bomb, and a shit ton of escorts. Giant robots included.

>>18034269
They couldn't just get a Age of Empires Priest to Wololo them? Well, at least it's efficient.

>>18034269
Every few seconds, you hear "A creature has been converted to your cause", followed by the hand picking the creature up and throwing it into a bedroom complex over a wall.
"So satisfying. ... Anyway, I assume you aren't here just to enjoy yourself."
You notice a few Dark Mistresses doing ... the usual things they do in torture rooms.
"Did you want one particular type of creature done before the others?"

>>18034292
"Few minutes. 2, 5. 10 at the very most. Unless you're dealing with a Hero. Those can take up to an hour."
You look around.
"Oh, the heroes? They're not here. They were sent to a more ... intensive facility. I can give you directions, if you'd like."
>Crawl Uniques are elsewhere!

>We'll need a Rewriter bomb, and a shit ton of escorts. Giant robots included.
The hand slaps you.
"Bad looter. No conspiracy to destroy Human Resources."

>>18034327
To fix the Sailor Moon canon. Why would we want to destroy the people who pay us?

Quick question: Does the Transpace Guard ever engage in open hostilities with other Meta-aware factions?

>>18034327

"I think he was referring to a canon that was just blown to shit a few days ago. Hedonists. Stuff. Yeah."

"How are the undead coming along? I think we managed to capture a few of those skulls that spam summon those mummies that cast Torment. That sounds like something any TG member would like to have on their team when dealing with a lot of nasties."

"Directions to the hero-converting section would be nice, thank you."

>>18034376
On a good day, no.

The TSAB and the TG are in a type of Cold War similar to the relations between the USA and the Soviet Union. Ideologically and politically, they are opposed to each other, but individual operatives can be pretty bro with each other.

The Combine is considered to be a brush war with both the TG and the TSAB.

Hyper-Athens sticks to their glade, and the other factions are content to let them stay within their sectors.
The Closers...Closer incursions usually result in orbital bombardments because nothing less will result in a victory. Their infantry-scale weapons are just that bad.

>>18034305
>>18034370
"Oh. Sorry. I don't know much about Editor or Looter missions. They just drop off their creatures here, and collect their money."
>>18034376
Vs. Hedonists, Shippers, and canon-fucking organisations, yes. If you fuck with the canon you gon' get blown the fuck up.
If you do not fuck with the canon, you don't get blown the fuck up.
It's a simple policy.

>>18034370
Because they are commiting horrendous atrocities on a regular basis?
Because if we tried looting them there'd be noone to send them to?
To uphold the caonon? (human resources is supposed to be replaced within a few hundred years, if i remember the setting right)

>>18034469
I liked the sound of the IDPKB (Mahou Shonen Quest) cooperating swimmingly with the TG.

>>18034472
>Because if we tried looting them there'd be noone to send them to?
Nonsense. Send them to themselves. Repeat for infinite money.
>"How are the undead coming along?"
"Quite nicely. I can hear the mallets running along their bones from here."
Undead conversion is going at the same rate as most conversions.

>"Directions to the hero-converting section would be nice, thank you."
"Go to the elevator, and speak in a loud, clear, voice, 'Hero converting 4A'. Our elevators are automatic, you know."

>>18034529
"As for me? I could never work out the bloody things. You goddamn kids and your z-levels."
The Keeper is clearly jealous of your ability to go Up and Down.
"Still, even ONE z-level can make a difference. Don't you say?"
>THE ENEMY HAS BEEN CONVERTED TO YOUR CAUSE.
>THE ENEMY HAS BEEN CONVERTED TO YOUR CAUSE.
>THE ENEMY HAS BEEN CONVERTED TO YOUR CAUSE.
>YOUR CREATURES ARE HAVING A BATTLE
"God damn killer bees and spiders always fighting. Oh, it's a Wizard and a Vampire this time. Creatures are such a pain in the arse."

>>18034576
Maybe we haven't found them yet?
Maybe we're holding off on purging them so we can find their other bases?
Maybe we destroy them on sight already?
Maybe it's too expensive to kill that many worlds?

>>18034576
We have been. Hell, as soon as the Guard got access to Moonguard, they killed them all and salted the ground. It's just that most of them are either hidden, or in a place where attacking would piss off the power in that area.

We should also talk to Kali, Peter, the Theurge (she still needs a name, and I'm not good at them), nightcrawler, and probably go on that beer run with Max.

"Anyway, if you're interested, I left a Gift for your organisation, they're showing it at the Grand Exhibition Hall in a few hours. If you want, you can go watch. I'm sure you'll be Beside Yourself with surprise."

>>18034576
We kill every one that we find (that isn't already under someone else's protection). Hedonists are like cockroaches. For every 1 you kill, another 1 scurries out from behind the fridge and wants more sex slaves and pornography.

<Meta: Every time someone draws yet another porn picture of yet another canon character, yet another Hedonist spawns>

YOUR OPTIONS:
>
#2: See how the Stone soup Uniques are doing.
>
#4: See how the mission to Alpha Centauri went.
>
#6: See which NPCs are available to talk to, and talk to them.
#7: Check the reconstruction tanks, see if Benny's back yet.

>>18034624

Well does the guard do restoration of canons?

I wonder if any operation to repair the sailormoon canon is underway.

>>18034529
>>18034560

"Z-coordinates are pretty spiffy. Although it adds a whole new level of complexity when it comes to combat. Sometimes I envy the days of 2-dimensional fighting... less gimmicky, you know?"

Let us proceed to "HERO CONVERTING, 4A."

>>18034651
They do restoration of canons if they can.
This one, however, is completely fucked.
Say you went into ... DC Comics, and you killed Batman.
The Guard would then replace him with someone else.
But if you orbital struck Gotham City and Metropolis, then shit's fucked son.

>>18034654
As you travel to Hero 4a, a Courtier greets you.
"Ah. One of our fine employees, no doubt come to ensure the conversions are up to standard. We are very busy at the moment, but will make time to send someone to see you. Please wait there for a few moments."

>>18034708
After a few moments, you receive your tour guide.
"Clearly, these men you have brought to us are uncivil. But we are working to educate them in the proper ways of the Guard, and in politeness, and obligation. In service to one's clan, or one's organisation."
Donald yells, "I hate organisation"
"There is a long road, but it begins with the first step, and armed with patience, you will conquer it."
Donald yells, "I hate patience."

In various rooms, the uniques you captured are complaining about the Orb and how they don't have the Orb. And how the courtiers will never get the Orb. And how the Orb might be a myth.

>>18034708
Why not go back in time and undestroy the cities?
The natives of comic book canons retcon stuff all the time.

>>18034756
Can't we just make a crap load of fake orbs to calm them down?

>>18034761
And yet you people are complaning about using time travel to undo canon damage/canon distortions in the main quest?

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!

What do you guys *not* complain about?

>>18034708
An orbital strike isn't something irreversible. Gotham once experienced a massive earthquake that turned it into a lawless disaster zone.

It got better.

>>18034708
>>18034756
Mennas seems to have gotten the idea of obligation and servitude and adhering to a code of honor quickly. He waves at you.
"Elyvilon seems content at your actions, but I think Xom is angry at you. You'd best stay away from the dungeon for a while."

>>18034761
That's likely what will happen. But everyone wants a f*cking chronosphere. "Woops, Batman shot the Joker, chronosphere. Oh no, Char's Gundam broke, chronosphere. 2 more redshirts died than normal, chronosphere. Stubbed my toe, chronosphere".

>>18034774
"Unfortunately, substituting one vice for another, or one material gain for a second, is an unacceptable alternative to learning one's place and accepting the rules of the courtroom."
Courtiers. They DO work eventually. Just need to roll enough dice.

>>18034806
Perhaps, but the process will be lengthy. And where the hell are you going to find another Negaverse?
Oh, they'll probably send us to loot one.

Restoring canons is often a lot harder than breaking them, sadly.

>>18034838
Swipe it from a Sailor moon fanfiction canon?

>>18034865
There's a Sailormoon/WH40K crossover universe in the CW section in Spacebattles.com

>>18034912
But then where will you get a Negaverse for that one?
Sometimes you gotta break a canon down for spare parts son. And atm it's looking more like "Spare Mercury/Venus/Mars/Jupiter/Chibi" than "Fix everything else".

>>18034814
Then why not clone millions of chronospheres and associated personell?
There are lots of ways to duplicate things throughout the metaverse

>>18034929
Hell, I expect they've probably claimed a broken Schlock Mercenary cannon just to use the warpgates to clone shit.

>>18034929
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this was happening, and have no rational explanation for why the guard doesn't have a million chronospheres and 2 million supermen. For the time being, you may bullshit up your own reasons why resources are limited.

>>18034953
>>18034940
>>18034929
>>18034912
>>18034865
>>18034838
"This is all well and good, sirs, but could you move your private discussion to a more suitable area?"
Sorry.

>
>
>
#4: See how the mission to Alpha Centauri went.
>
#6: See which NPCs are available to talk to, and talk to them.
#7: Check the reconstruction tanks, see if Benny's back yet.

>>18034953
There's just THAT much demand for the commonly cloned stuff that even though we're cloning as much as we possibly can, there's STILL more demand than we can supply?

>>18034969

Time for some Alpha Centauri I think, perhaps there is something salvagable from this particular incident.

>>18034969
I'd say #4. Then probably check on the "surprise."

>>18034977
Trillions of Canons, but no where near enough people with the security clearance to actually be allowed access to the stuff.

>>18034969
I want to check in on that god we looted while we're here, then let's go see the other stuff.
MAXIMUM BACKSTORY, GO

>>18035007
Just mindwash some guys into SUPERLOYALTY and then clone the fuck out of them too?
If you're worried about them turning traitor or gaining a different definition of our ideals, shove bombs in their heads and clone watchers for them.
If we have a system that works for us already, why not clone the whole thing?

>>18035017
>I want to check in on that god we looted while we're here
"A god of Slimes. And Jellies."
"Summons Jellies to eat all your shit if you worship it."
"I mean goddamn. I know gods need worshippers, but who the fuck would worship that?"
"We need a recruiting campaign. Something with an adorable mascot. I've got it!"

Jiyva, understanding not much of this, simply blubbers and blorbels by itself.

You now have access to Jiyva! Praying to Jiyva ... ... randomly fucks with your stats, summons a slime to eat your loot, and is basically shit. But it's a god! So it's worth something.

>>18035112
Oh great, we just created the god of the Slimegirls.
Well, at least we can send out a mass email to the hedonists and anywhere someone starts worshiping him we know where we need to nuke.

>>18035112
An easy way to dispose of garbage?
Maybe we can train the slimes as troops?
Sell the slimes as pets to the WoWers?
Can he make intelegent slimes? I'd think not, but maybe he just hasn't thought of creating more followers?
Maybe the guard could farm those slimes, they were paying us quite nicely for the ones we caught in the dungeon.

>>18035149
Posting seems to be down, or very slow.

>>18035112

You kidding this thing can eat pretty much anything as it is a god. Cursed item? Slime god can eat it, reduce re-use recycle all in one slime monster-god. We are now hella more energy efficient and green.

>>18035240
How intelligent is Jiyva? We could explain to him that most people don't like those things. If he were to act more like Juiblex (but not evil) more people may worship him.

>>18035149

Haha, oh wow.

Deploy the slime and summon the hedonists, watch as they pray and attempt to violate it, only to be eaten and destroyed by an unthinking slime creature. It is the perfect weapon, as they won't care as they are slowly dissolved!

Fuck's sake 4chan, wake up, let me post.

>>18035383
Hey, we could get some slimes from Dragon Quest to worship him. They're intellegent, and they're slimes, so it'd work out fine.

>>18035383
Connection error with sys.4chan.org
Connection error with sys.4chan.org
Connection error with sys.4chan.org

>>18035313
Jiyva seems not to care for your mortal requests. Gods are dicks.
>>18035465
Intelligent slimes are his #1 worshippers. Though even intelligent slimes can be angry that jellies eat all their crap.

>>18035007
>>18034987
You show up to the Alpha Centauri planning room, and ...
There's a few Editors, arguing with some SMAC personnel.
Present are Nwabudike Morgan, Provost Zakharov, Corazon Santiago, Dierdre Skye, Sheng-ji Yang, and Pravin Lal.
Morgan and Deirdre are arguing over economic models.
Lal and Yang are arguing over governmental models.
Zakharov and Santiago are arguing over values.
The Editors are fillibustering the crap out of the place, trying to convince the six of what a "Canon" is, and why they shouldn't use their new salvaged Meta technology as a colonisation device.

The Guard is quite prepared to glass or mindwipe the entire planet to prevent a 6-faction war from spreading throughout the meta, but are trying a diplomatic approach first. Can you help?

"Yo. Some idiot tried to talk his way out of getting his infiltration team captured by ... revealing the existence of the meta. We shoved that guy out an airlock, but now we have to convince these six not to extend their war to the rest of known space."

>>18035529
It seems that disabling 4chan x has made posting behave properly. Hopefully there'll be a new version of 4chan x up soon, as having to scroll up to the top all the time is annoying as fuck.

Anyway, you've FINALLY managed to make it to the SMAC room. Planning to talk to any of the people here?

>>18035529
Are there any empty areas from the Civ canons where they didn't go into space? If they're willing to give us back the meta devices, we'll transfer them each to a separate version of the planet for them each to have to themselves.

>>18035545
This looks like it's above our paygrade.
Even if we did convince them to stop using meta tech (they'd more likely keep whatever they thought they could get away with and say they gave us all of it instead of stopping using it, even if we convinced them it'd cause nasty side effects, like planets exploding, universes breaking, or some other bullshit) there would still be those in their factions that would try to hide the tech they found and keep researching it, so it might be better to do a comprehensive mindreading and brainwashing of everyone even slightly involved, along with HEAVY scanning of everything.
They likely have lots of clever and sneaky people working for them, so this is probably too hard for us.

>>18035529

Mmmmm...

This problem would be very simple if we can just bring back the captain...

Which should be easily achievable. Saving a canon with a single use of a choronosphere.

>>18035529

>also, no Miriam

>>18035569
>>18035639
>>18035640
>>18035660
Oh. I also forgot to refresh manually. Man, 4chan x makes things a lot easier.

>>18035529

I'd say mindwipe all but the most sensible one, but knowing this lot, they'll just probe team each other about it again.

>>18035683
I know what you mean. I use 4chan Plus on Chrome and it's annoying as hell when it breaks.

Are you on Steam, by the way?

>>18035569
>Are there any empty areas from the Civ canons where they didn't go into space? If they're willing to give us back the meta devices, we'll transfer them each to a separate version of the planet for them each to have to themselves.
That's not the issue. The issue, in each of their minds:
Zakharov says there are new frontiers to explore, new boundaries for mankind to break through. Why would we deny ourselves this one boundary, when we have broken so many others?
Yang says that the multiverse exists to be subsumed. It is the way of life that the Strong should guide the Weak, and that those who are yet to find enlightenment, may yet walk the path underneath those who have.
Deirdre understands the concept of a "Canon", but can't quite grasp the idea that not all canons are peaceful, and that war for the sake of war is sometimes a necessary thing.
Lal screams about freedom of information. How many worlds were denied the knowledge of the meta? How many people are kept in a cage at our whim?
Santiago wishes to conquer the whole damn thing and makes no philosophical bullshit about it.
Morgan? Simply sees new avenues for profitable ventures, and new ways in which to gain a leg over the competition.

The six are bickering with each-other, as always.

Under those circumstances, I'd say Mindwipe them all. Possibly give Morgan a chance to join the guard. We could use people like her.

>>18035732

Dealing with this bunch...

>Zakharov

Ask the editors to offer his ENTIRE FACTION a job with R&D. They will love it

>The rest of these fucks

Throw them into hero recruitment.

Or kill them. With extreme prejudice.

>>18035639
>They likely have lots of clever and sneaky people working for them, so this is probably too hard for us.
Unfortunately, yes. And it IS above your paygrade. But why not? you might as well show up and help fillibuster for a bit before the "I use mah hax mind majik 2 convince j00 not to go into spaec" people show up.

>so it might be better to do a comprehensive mindreading and brainwashing of everyone even slightly involved, along with HEAVY scanning of everything.
That's Plan A, too.

>This problem would be very simple if we can just bring back the captain...
Yang, Lal and Deirdre assent to this, but the others seem more content with their own paradigms. Lal asks Yang why Yang would want the man who supported Democracy back. Yang replies that he was the captain's right hand man, and that in the event of the captain's absence, control would go to him.
Zakharov wants more SCIENCE!, Santiago wants more SPARTA!, and Morgan wants more MONEY!.

>also, no Miriam

Zakharov speaks for a moment when you ask where Miriam went.
"EXTERMINATED!"
Well that answers that.

>>18035779
>Morgan
>Her

First you screw up with Light and Megaman, now this!

You're on your last warning, chum! You mess up again and you're in hot water.

>>18035722
>Are you on Steam, by the way?
Nope.

>Ask the editors to offer his ENTIRE FACTION a job with R&D. They will love it
Zakharov shows initial interest in this idea. He grills you for information on what you're researching. However, when he finds out the things you REFUSE to research, he quickly changes his mind.
"No door should be locked to the human mind, and no avenue closed to science."

And yes, this is indeed a clusterscrew. Have to wait for the Fallout 3 Courier to show up and say "[SPEECH: 100] Meta bad a bloo bloo hurrRrrRRRrrr" and have it convince them.

>>18035732

Ugh. The game of diplomacy.

As I recall, a valid way to win in SMAC (very much like in Civ-2) was to nuke everyone who didn't agree with you and make peace with those who did, thus winning the game. But I doubt things are that simple.

I wonder if this SMAC canon is "won" or not, and if the Alien Crossfire x-pack applies to that canon. Seeing as how everyone's in the SMAC equivalent of the U.N., this may indicate that this particular SMAC canon was "won" via peace. In which case, it might be a possibility that anything we do won't really damage the stability of that canon any; in which case, we nuke them to hell or perhaps even recruit them.

I can't think of a way to get them to reliably relinquish all of their tech back to us. Or to have them not utilize it. Maybe we could bring in a Captain Picard or TNO in here to diplomance them to a compromise.

>>18035811
Well, excusssssssse me, asshole. I used the wrong pronoun.
Considering I BUILT the Theurge and controlled her the whole Crawl mission, you can kiss my shiny metal ass.

>>18035836

And if this is an SMAC canon in which Alien Crossfire hasn't occurred, we might be able to get away with making the "Aliens" the Transspace Guard. And win by calling in alien reinforcements that promptly blast the shit out of everything that isn't an alien. This preserves canon, while taking care of the issue.

It's an extremely messy solution though. File that under Plan: Last Resort.

At least Zarhkov seems sensible enough to understand and accept that there is a natural order to the universe though which the meta operates, and by operating and keeping the meta as secret as possible we stop everyone and their dogs opening paths though the boundaries which hold the seperate cannons apart, stopping the whole thing collapsing into some kind of horrific free for all crossover special.

As for the rest of them, I'm sure with the right approach they could be brought into line, but none of them would accept it for free. Perhaps Morgan could be offered some trade oppertunities with the Transpace authorities, perhaps but there are just too many 'ifs' around for my liking.

>>18035821

Someone of Santiago's skills could be useful.

Perhaps we can offer her a job commanding an assault fleet? The kind used when everything goes to hell and the only thing left is to BURN EVERYTHING.

Diedre

Perhaps with the diplomatic and the canon restoration corps. She and her faction seems rather suited for those roles.

Morgan... Hmmm.... Requistions might be a good place for him. Would he want a senior position?

>>18035858
Jeez, I was being sarcastic. No need to jump down my throat for it.

>>18035836
This SMAC has not been Won yet. However, it's been a rather long game without much nuking, beyond of course Miriam being a cunt like always. In fact, it's ending up more of a Cold War. Yang and Santiago on one side, Morgan and Lal on another, Zakharov and Deirdre on the third. The worry is that any overt action will result in whoever you DIDN'T attack conquering you both in your weakened state.

Even now alliances crumble as the groups argue about whether to bring the captain back.

Another thread, another session I came in late.

>>18035836
If we go for this, we should make alliances with University, Morganites and the Spartans. maybe also whatever one Deirdre is in charge.

>>18035906
Well, if anyone's interested, I made a Steam group.
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/metaquest

>>18035858
Son. Calm down.

>>18035871
No aliens have landed yet. The presence of the 7 initial factions suggests this is standard SMAC, but fuck knows. Maybe this is one of the ones where someone found out a way to have more than 7 factions.

>>18035875
All of them aside from Lal see the benefit to keeping Meta knowledge secret. It's just that the only one who gives even half a shit about the "natural order" is Deirdre, who thinks "natural order" means "harmony". Zakharov and Yang have tried to convince her otherwise, but she won't budge on the issue.

"We've already offered them jobs, but they weren't comfortable with our terms. Particularily, Morgan WAS working for us at one point, but we caught about 40 Probe Teams jacking our shit."
"Was merely a cost-efficient opportunity. I'd be a poor businessman not to take it.", Morgan replies.

"Your soldiers are a bloo bloo hurr", Santiago prattles on about how our soldiers aren't ELITE SPARTAN OPERATIVES and she can't stand commanding them.

>>18035981

>This room of idiots

Urge to kill rising...

>>18035981
Alright, lets discard Deirdre.
Lets turn University, Morganites and Spartans AGAINST Planet. And it's not like Planet doesn't hate them back, what it with it being sentient or similar (if I remember well).

oh god, I hope I don't fuck up I'm still reading the thread.

>>18035910
The guard would LIKE to make alliances, but unfortuantely, we were unable to convince the factions not to start immediately slinging their trash in every square inch of the meta within travelling distance.

Currently, the fact that our forces are more advanced than theirs has intercepted all their attempts, but the factions are playing the "Lol can't nuke us or you ruin the canon neener neener" card to keep pumping out meta-capable colony craft.
And the tech gap, while it is large, is constantly assaulted by shit-tons of probe teams.

In short, it's getting quite to the point where the 6 factions, as they are known for, literally can't get along with anyone else in a position of higher power than they are.

I mean, shit. We had to take down a Fungicidal Factory that, if activated, would slowly purge Planet's surface of native wildlife.

>>18035981

They just don't appreciate our chosen social engineering models, in that case they won't see reason at all. If anyone wants to try it the only person we could potentially ally with would be Deirdre, otherwise we will just have to mind wipe this whole fiasco.

On that point I would not be against a full alliance with Deirdre, we do, after all have every leader here. It would not break Cannon should it so happen that Deirdre won the game and it is well within our perview to make it so that happens. Of course we would want full disclosure on all technologies and all the rest of that jazz.

>>18036039
Turning the factions against each-other, or against the planet, or against Meta, or against any place they could potentially jam a colony pod and have not yet jammed a colony pod, is easy.
It's STOPPING them from doing that, which makes it hard.
It's all a relatively large headache for the Guard to handle, given that mindwiping an entire PLANET, and its archives, AND its secret archives, AND its buried information boxes, is a huge pain in the arse.

No doubt the Guard will solve it, and will probably do so in a way that preserves SMAC canon. But dear god, what a fucking hassle.

>>18036054
Except that Deidre also wants to stop wars in all of the War Canons, like Warhammer, Warmachine, any of the 4X game Canons, and a whole slew of other Canons.

She understands what a Canon is, but not that they are not to be interfered in.

>>18036049

/r/ rewriter bomb

Well. If we wanted a really quick immediate solution, we could get a Neuralizer from the Men In Black canon. Dial the time setting to go back to when they discovered all the shit happening in their canon with the Transspace Guard.

Then get all of their attention with a long, rousing speech that sounds like it's building up to something epic and momentous. Like recognizing them as canon states that should be included in the meta. Then when all their attention is on the speaker, pull out the neuralizer and *FWEEEN* those inconvenient memories away.

However, this would at best buy us some time to deal with the situation rather than resolving it.

>>18036054
It's not really your shot to call. Though Deirdre seems smug that someone agrees with her, Morgan argues the business potential of Morgan Industries working with the guard, Lal offers his bureaucratic expertise, Zakharov offers his ability to make science!, Santiago starts whoring herself as a mercenary, and Yang talks about enlightenment and wisdom.
Oh dear. They're arguing about who sucks more again.

>>18036098
>>18036110
A Rewriter bomb is made by draining the creative essence, or "soul", of several canons, to get a large amount of Plot.
Then, shoving that Plot into an (ideally abandoned/screwed) canon and "Crumpling" it - collapsing the canon and the reality around it into a concentrated source.
In short, you need to screw over at least 1 canon by crumpling, and damage a lot more by draining, to get enough shit for a Rewriter bomb.

Of course, we DO have rewriter bombs. Whenever someone screws the canon too much to fix, "Welp, drain it dry and colonise it" or "Welp, drain it dry and crumple it". No idea if that's what will happen here, but it's possible.

Or, alternatively, we could tell them that we will be ready to accept them as legitimate meta-capable governments. This includes trade with TG, protection under TG, and such.

As soon as they hammer out a diplomatic resolution that all of them can agree to.


For us... since that canon would be "won" then, we could start policing all their technology shit in earnest. No more walking on eggshells. They're under our protection, that means that we get to regulate whatever meta-shit we want whenever we want. And there's a big enough tech difference that we can now keep them effectively grounded.

>>18036098
So, in short, the answer to all your difficulties isn't "rewriter bomb".
>>18036110
Many of the factions' systems (with the notable exception of Zakharov's) are pretty well hardened against infiltration actions deleting data or removing key personnel. Morgan, in particular, keeps an army of Probe Teams owing to his focus on high cash, low support units.

Are ours better? Yes.
Could we do it? Probably.
Will it cost us far more than we ever could have gained by looting SMAC's canon tech? VERY YES.
This, people, is why you do not fuck with the canon, and why you do not tell people about the meta.

Though it does make for a good opportunity to talk to interesting people. :)

>>18036119

>diredre

Doesn't understand the reasons for keeping metaverses secret

>Morgan

Snake cannot be trusted. His actions with the probe teams show that.

>Lal

Would openly spread the word of the metas to every canon in existence, regardless of their ability to deal with it or not.

>Yang

Absolutely nothing to offer and would want to assimilate canons for his 'ideals'

>Santiago

Cannot into diplomacy, wants to conquer canons and therefore would probably attempt to wage war with us in the future.

>Zarkhov

Too much FOR SCIENCE! Even in dangerous disciplines. Might be useful but a loose canon. Unsafe.


Tl;Dr. They're all fucking useless OR dangerous.

Can we turn them into rewriter bomb fuel?

>>18036183
They seem like they would rather be the Ruler of 1 world, than a Vassal with 20. A suggestion of a diplomatic pact results in, basically, yet another argument.

The plans to police their tech, currently, are to mindwipe the planet of the events of the last few days, infiltrate all the datalinks, and delete all the shit.
Isn't it good that you have Editors to do all of that?

>>18036183

It would be nice if we could avoid them colonising out into the meta without proper safeguards and restrictions, they don't even know what horrors are out there. If they went to the wrong place their home bases would be overrun by androgynous teens with more halfs- and wings than fingers. They do have an entire universe to expand out into, rather than into the meta.

Question: how many are meta-aware in this canon? Just the leaders? Everyone down to the most downtrodden civilian?

>>18036211
Fuelin'.
Fuelin'.
Fuelin' down the river.
It's given as a suggestion, and noted.
Not agreed to, not disagreed to, just ... noted. Who knows if anyone will use it?

>Tl;Dr. They're all fucking useless OR dangerous.
Now imagine if one of them were a S.U.E.
Thankfully none of them are.

OP must take a SLEEP BREAK. Here are your remaining options for base:
#6: See which NPCs are available to talk to, and talk to them.
#7: Check the reconstruction tanks, see if Benny's back yet.

Here are your BONUS MISSION OPTIONS:
#1: Free time
You have been paid 868 DOSH to use for your own ends. Be a Meta tourist, or make your own unrelated mission. Try not to do anything that will get you fired.
#2. Booze run with Max
Max has expressed interest in a Booze run: Collect BOOZE, SMOKES and GIRLS from as many different canons as you can within 2 hours.
#3. Do nothing
No bonus mission, just go straight to the next main mission

Hmm.

Perhaps they're too eager about the prospects of venturing out into the Meta. This is probably because they have no idea about the horrors that they'll be getting themselves into.

How about we show them exactly what they'll encounter if they go into the Meta and open up their canon? Let's get a collection of all the most heinous Shipper/Hedonist/SUE wish fulfillment footage we have, and merge it into one big messy collage of MY HEAD IS FULL OF FUCK. Then we send it over to them to play. Over. And over. And Over. And over. And over. And over.

It would be like discouraging a first-time internet user from using the internet ever again by exposing their virgin minds/eyes/ears to the sickest shit on the internet. If it works, they may all hand over their meta technology and practically beg us to seal their canon so nobody can get in ever again. And wipe all of their memories relating to that shit. Which suits us just fine.

And here are your Main mission options:
#1: Loot a planet, A:
A planet with Psi-rich crystals has been located in the Starcraft Universe, and is currently being fought over endlessly by Zerg, Terran and Protoss. Conquer this planet, establish a year-long peace treaty with each of the three, and we'll loot the entire planet.
#2. Loot a planet, B:
A planet with time-morphing capabilities, the Little Planet, has appeared in orbit of Moebius, as part of the "Sonic CD" canon. We are yet to determine exactly what place in the Timeline this occurs due to the interference. Ensure the Canon takes place as intended, then loot the planet afterwards.
#3. Loot a planet, C:
We have located a Civilization canon. Because it's literally not KNOWN what the canon eventually will turn up like, and because you probably don't want to spend 6000 years on one job, you will be equipped with a Chronosphere that allows you to make jumps forward, and backward, in time as need be.
Ensure that you are in control of a nation which, itself, controls the entire world, by as early (in-game time) as possible. We will then loot the entire planet.

Currently, #2 seems to be leading, SLIGHTLY, with #1 a little behind, and nobody gives a shit about #3.

>>18036313
I'm all about administering liberal amounts of amnesiacs.
But again, this depends on how many are meta-aware.

>Question: how many are meta-aware in this canon? Just the leaders? Everyone down to the most downtrodden civilian?
They CLAIM that only their most trusted scientists have this knowledge. We strongly suspect this to be total bullshit.

>they don't even know what horrors are out there. If they went to the wrong place their home bases would be overrun by androgynous teens with more halfs- and wings than fingers.
Zakharov seems very keen to Research these.
Morgan seems very keen to Market these as a brand name.
Santiago wonders if she could make sport of Hunting these.
Yang ponders the merits of Enslaving these.
Lal wishes to Free these, as all creatures deserve freedom.
And Deirdre just thinks they look kind of cute and sexy.

>How about we show them exactly what they'll encounter if they go into the Meta and open up their canon? Let's get a collection of all the most heinous Shipper/Hedonist/SUE wish fulfillment footage we have, and merge it into one big messy collage of MY HEAD IS FULL OF FUCK. Then we send it over to them to play. Over. And over. And Over. And over. And over. And over.
Again, MINDWORM MARKETING HUNTING ENSLAVING FREEING TECHNOLOGY! or something. Never can keep an Ambitious man from finding some way to loot something.

>>18036313
You can't just let them see. No, you have to make them EXPERIENCE IT.

Just like with Tosh and the Aurors in the main quest when we had them dive into the Shipper's mind. That's what we have to make them feel.

YOU WANTED THE FREE FLOW OF INFORMATION, LAL! WELL HERE! HERE'S YOUR FUCKING FREE FLOW OF INFORMATION!

OP SLEEPS NOW.
WILL SEND #6 AND #7 AT YOU LATER.
YOU ARGUE ABOUT WHAT ITEMS YOU WANT TAKE FOR MAIN MISSION AND/OR BONUS MISSION NOW.
kbye

>>18036313

>introducing horrors

Heh. Show them some MiriamxZarkhov fanfics.

See if they're still interested in the metaverse

>>18036290
I vote for going straight into the main mission.

>>18036357

AND NOW FOR YOU INSECTS. BOLDLY, YOU SOUGHT THE SECRETS OF THE METAVERSE.

NOW YOU SHALL FEEL THEM, FIRST-HAND!

>>18036167
>>18036119

I have a brilliant suggestion:

Time travel.

Fire up the R-Types and Vic Vipers, we're gonna retcon the shit out of this.

We should probably archive this, if nobody else has done so already.

>>18036380
Fuck that, lets do the booze run first.

We still haven't named the Theurge.
I dub thee . . . Celeste The Theurge.

Join the Metaquest steam group!

I suggest we do the Free Time mission.

We need to do our "Wacky Hijinks on a beach" episode. So, I vote for vacation

I am awake now. Bump to stop thread dying.

Booze run!

Booze run. We can drop off at a GTA canon, fuck all the whores, then kill them to get our money back.

And I swear if MetaOP makes us sort out this SMAC bullshit I will just vote to kill them all and crumple the canon. If he's using the same "secret files" as you are.

>>18041587
Naw.

Fire up the Vic Vipers and R-Types, travel back in time, and kill the looter team.

I vote for free time. What if... what if we dive into a quest canon here on /tg/?

Also, yay to new faces in the Metaquest steam group. They're not online though.

Truly I slept well. Okay, let's act on everyone's suggestions and then enjoy a day of Metaquest.

>>18044816
IF

After sleeping for 17 hours, taking some time to eat food and rehydrate, going to fetch shopping, and putting the shopping away, I shall now take some time to rest before resuming the usual bullshit.
Yes, sleep can take a lot out of you.

>>18045988
My arms, in particular, feel atrophied. I've tried exercising them but it isn't doing any good. That sucks, because I use those arms to type!

>>18045988
I personally employ the Everyman 3-nap schedule.

http://www.dustincurtis.com/sleep.html

Alrighty.

R-Types, LAUNCH!

>>18046136
>>18046027
Not yet. I need to wait until my arms and mind stop feeling drained and unusable. If I can't get them working, then I'll have to skip today's session.
I've tried exercise and rehydrating and eating high energy food, but it's not working. Wonder what else I can do?

>>18046207
Sleeping too long does that to you. Try a little coffee or meditation.

>>18046207
I don't have the necessary medical knowledge.

>>18046314
Roger that. I will ingest the caffeine.

>>18046207
You need a short session of zen meditation to jumpstart your mind.

Also, we're still taking in people for the Metaquest steam group.

>>18046382
Might as well.

Next post is me.

Secret tripcode.

>>18046446
Previous post is me.

Related to main Metaquest. It's why we need to salvage *MORE* Gradius fighters near Hyrule.

http://gradius.wikia.com/wiki/Falchion_%CE%B2
http://gradius.wikia.com/wiki/Metalion

CAFFEINE INGESTED.
BRAIN TEMPERATURE RISING.
ENERGY INCREASING.
SYSTEMS CHECK STARTING.

>>18046544
BOOTLEG OP, LAUNCH!

>>18046620
I got 2 cans of caffiene, 2 bowls of ramen, 20 minutes of exercise and a game of Tribes Ascend in me.
I'd say: Hit it.

>>18046706

Airspace clear.

Launch timing transferred to Bootleg OP, you are cleared for launch.

>>18046706
>#7: Check the reconstruction tanks, see if Benny's back yet.

You opt to head over to the Reconstruction tanks.
Miles of them. Easily a 10 mile stretch underground, at least 100 meters high. Platforms and platforms of reconstruction tanks.

You head over to the Elevator to go down there, and spot Mercury (now in civilian disguise) and Chibiusa.
Mercury says: "Thank you for helping us. We're going to check on our friends, see if anyone else was recovered from the mess."
Chibiusa says: "I hope Usagi and Mamoru are okay".

Given the day between your Mansion mission and the SM mission, your two groups are going to completely different areas.

http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=i_oJdU6mCO4&

>>18046782
You reach the spot where Benny is being reconstructed. Next to him, is Flea from Chrono Trigger.
Both of their consoles say "Reconstruction complete. Ensure area is clear and a doctor is present, then push 'Start' to open container"
A doctor is not present. Would you like to call for one?

>>18046782
What's up with that new trip?

Sure, call for a doctor.

>>18046840
Test for the Steam group. I joined under the name "Troll :)", opted to use a tripcode to verify my identity and didn't want to reveal my main one.

You call for a doctor on the nearby handy-dandy base phones provided.
"Ze doctor is coming."
Within 20 seconds, your doctor teleports in. Or perhaps respawns in. You can't quite tell.

Of. Course.

Which Doctors are available?
(I hope the 9th is out there)

So uhh, when does "Go back in time and kill the other looting team" kick in?

>>18046840
>>18046864
Medic looks at the two corpses.
"Nasty lacerations on the old one. On ze androgynous one, some organ damage. Nussing a shot of Healing cannot fix."
Medic presses "Start" on both tubes.

>>18046886
No plotting to destroy TG assets. Bad looter.
Do you want me to bring the dungeon keeper hand back?

Flea is the first to reconstitute, owing to his higher HP.
"Ugh. When he found out that I was a GUY, he ordered all of his little chronies to attack me. I put up a good fight, but ... there were too many of them..."
"Stand zere. You had a lot of lung und liver damage from your time spent deceased."
"Yeah, whatever."
Flea sits still while Medic channels a healing beam over him.
"Who are you guys, anyway?"
"Zey are most likely ze team zat brought you here, herr Flea."
"Oh. Thanks."
Flea curtsies.
"So, what do I owe you guys?"
"I am not ze operations director, but typically, you hang around base for a while before we return you to your home."
"What, no pay required?"
"Typically, no."
"Well, you're better than my old boss."

>>18046974
I mean the team that got executed for leaking the Meta to the SMAC people. Go back in time and save them from their own stupidity.

>>18046974
"Ze elevator will take you to ze waiting room. Go zere and say 'Vaiting room 203-WB'. Go. you are ready."
"Thanks, doctor."
"don't mention it."

The Medic turns his attention to Benny.
"Now you. Vat did you get yourself into?"
"Oi. I lost me frisbee on the roof of some mansion, right? I go in there to look for it, but I run STRAIGHT inta a storage closet, knockin' over everythin'.
I got meself out of there, musta stirred up the hornet's nest, 'cause as soon as I did, 3 beautiful women stare at me, and yell 'STOP! THIEF!' so I ran."
"I see."
"I'm runnin' for dear life, an' they eventually catch me. Some chinese lady slaps cuffs on me and escorts me outside, an' that's when I find out, they's called the coppers.
Now, I don't wanna go to jail for a misunderstandin', so as soon as nobody's watchin', I take off."
"Go on."

>>18047054
...
"So, I'm bein' chased by 2 cop cars, a guy with hedge trimmers, a guy with a wrench, an old lady, an' a frickin' aeroplane. Then this guy with blue skin starts friggin' TELEPORTING to try to catch me.
I run as 'ard as I can, doc, but I can't get away from the guy. 'e grabs me, and teleports me. I get all spun around, me 'ead's spinnin' like a yo-yo, but I take off runnin' anyway.
Musta been a good larf, since the guy does it FOUR MORE TIMES, and before I know it, I'm back in the bloody mansion."
"Sounds like a bad day."
"You don't know the 'alf of it, lad. I'm runnin' through the mansion, and this foxy lady - like, a fox. A REAL fox. Kills me right there on the spot."
"So that's how you got here?"
"Nah, it doesn't stop there. So, I'm sittin' there, in all me ghostly form, thinkin' 'well this is it then'. An' it turns out the mansion is bloody HAUNTED.
I'm runnin' away from ghosts and spooks for what seems like HOURS until I see a light. I run into it, and ... next thing I know I'm here."
"Quite ze story."

>>18047054
Can we recruit him as "professional decoy"?

>>18047154
"Anyvay, vun thing before I let you go. Ze time you are from - 1970s, ja?"
"Yes."
"Vell, zere are new diseases appearing since zat time. I need to give you a little needle to-"
"Oh no. I don't want a needle doc."
"Just stand right there und-"
Benny starts running.
"Hey! GET BACK HIER!"
The medic starts chasing after him.
Immediately followed by some base security.
And a skyranger. Indoors.

>>18047158
He needs to go back to his home canon.

Anyway, would you like to see what Mercury and Chibiusa are up to, or would you like to go to the waiting room and see who's available to bullshit with?

>>18047199

Go with the girls. They'd probably appreciate some company.

>>18047284
You find the girls standing in front of a few reconstruction tanks. The things in the tanks look more like mangled, chopped-up pieces of kibble than anything human, but nonetheless, the tanks quite clearly show "RECONSTRUCTION VALID. WORKING - 10%" on their displays.

Chibiusa is crying. Ami is attempting to comfort her.
Ami - "There you are again. I'm sorry, I don't think you can help. It turns out there are a whole bunch of sick bastards that like to hear a woman screaming as they cut her to pieces. They were going to do the same to me, but I froze and shattered their [CENSORED] and drove ice shards into their eyes. I'd never have thought of doing that, had I not talked to people here."

Say anything? Ask what happened?

>>18047391

Ruffle Chibiusa's hair. Don't worry, they're still here; they'll be out here.

>>18047419
Chibiusa shakes her hair and moves away from you, behind Ami.
Ami - "It's not that. Usagi and Mamoru ... didn't make it."
Chibiusa - "Were they in one of the buildings that I ..."
Chibiusa resumes crying.
Ami - "Even if they were, we can bring people back from having their bodies torn to pieces.
But, I'm told, that by the time the rescue team got there - their SOULS were gone.
Like, whatever horrible things were done to them, made their souls run away, and evaporate. And that's why they're never coming back."
Canon status: Fucked.

>>18047469
Looks like it's a job for a rewriter bomb.

>>18047469

The Guard should have places for religious worship. Bring the two of them to the local Shinto Shrine to offer incense and prayers.

Thats about the only thing left we can do.

>>18047559
God damn it son if we had infinite rewriter bombs and chronospheres we'd use them. But we don't.

Also I'm bringing the Dungeon keeper hand back to slap you.
*slap*
You have been slapped.

>>18047587
"We can give you a place to offer your prayers. That's all we can do."
Mercury nods, solemnly. "In death, all things are equal, and all things are at peace."
Chibiusa continues crying.

"A Counsellor will see you two now.", a man in a Transpace Guard uniform notes. The three walk away together.

>#6. Go to the BS lounge, see who's present.
You go to lounge 203-WB.
Present are: Max, Kali, Blastoise, the Minecrafter, and WoW team 1.
"Yo."
"Hello."
"Toise."
"hi"
And a variety of "Greets you with a hearty hello" or "waves at you".

>>18047559
I don't know if you're having issues understanding this, but their canon is fucked. The people who are left are going to be recruited, or used as spare parts. The remains of what's left over will be TURNED INTO a rewriter bomb.

Their canon is fucked.
Su canon es jodido.
Их канон трахнут.
それらの教会法〔規範〕は性交されます。
Leur canon est baisé.
Ihr Kanon ist gefickt.

>>18047677
Then it is useless to restore it. Loot what is left and crumple the rest for more rewriter bombs.

>>18047677
Well, no doubt someone's going to run by with a wide-scale soul drainer to drain the entire city of souls. Might get Usagi and Mamoru back, might not. You'd still have the trouble of remaking a Negaverse, after a Sparkly Rainbow Ultrasue used some type of glowy heaven vampire bomb to destroy it.

Anyone got a spare Negaverse?
I suppose we can get a D&D wizard to cast genesis, but how the fuck do you get "Negaverse"? You can't just shove negative energy in there, there are living beings and a goddamn tree in there. And the elemental essence of Jealousy is pretty rare.

>>18047662
Perfect moment to go on a booze run.

Makes you wonder what heroes the hedonists have hired. Aside from the likes of Ali Al-Saachez and Gauron.

>>18047730
Hooray! More Grimdark emitters for the SCPs to store. Plenty of Reality and Plot and Magic emitters too.
It's a good thing Fucked canons are so common, or we'd run out of canons to drain for all our rewriter and reality shit!

>Perfect moment to go on a booze run.
"Oh yeah!"

Kali wishes to talk to you before you piss off, and WoW team 1 also wishes to talk to you. Are you willing to talk to these people?

>>18047768
Sure, we'll talk to them.

>>18047768

Why not.

On the booze run see if we can pick up some pink plushie for Chibiusa.

>>18047768
Oh you card, Bootleg OP. Unleashing the dark revelations that MetaOP isn't telling us.

Have you heard of the IDPKB from Mahou Shonen Quest?

>>18047783
>>18047790
Now, we have ask ourselves "were we will go do the booze run?"

>>18047783
Kali:
"They finished my painting, I'm going back to my home universe soon. I figured it would be polite to say goodbye.
I would say it was nice working with you, but honestly, the god of randomness was the most irritating thing I've ever experienced. If beings like THAT are what you routinely go up against, I worry for you, for your friends, and for your children. I wish you well. May the winds of change blow favourably and the essence of power walk with you.
It's a shame. We never did get to dance."

WoW team 1:
"This isn't part of WoW, is it?"

All that's left to discover is why Reality Emitters have never gotten past the Mk. 1 .

>>18047841

To Kali: "That can be rectified, doing anything tonight?" Ask her out to some bar.

To WoW: "Of course not, what tipped you off? The space station or the advanced guns?"

>>18047841
"You got ported over to a private server. Of course people will want guns."

>>18047841
Pic of WoW team (in Crawl form).
>>18047884
"I'll be gone before then, sadly. Do you have a moment now?"
If you have a moment now, Roll a 1d100.

WoW team: "Actually, it was how most of the people here aren't fucking idiots."
"So, what is this? Where are we? And what's a 'canon'?"

>>18047884
Bad looter, bad! *slaps hand*

No telling of Meta!

>>18047841
@Kali: If you want, you could come with us. We could take the time and go Dancing. I'm sure there's plenty of places to go to.

rolled 14 = 14

Here goes.

rolled 2 = 2

>>18047906
Rolling.
Also, what to do with the WoW team?

>>18047917
"Well, I guess I -do- have a few hours."
KALI joins your Beer, Smokes, and Girls party.

Max: "Fuck, not even left the base and you got one. You guys are GOOD."

>>18047931
>>18047936
Kali: "Ha! You guys are terrible. Maybe it WASN'T a shame that I never got to dance with you!"
KALI has successfully trolled YOU.

>What to do with the WoW teams?
They have been recruited, and have their obedience verified. They have been verified that they have no real interest in exploring the meta on their own, though they're willing to join up with our teams.
It's safe to tell them.

>>18047906

"Well then, a canon is basically a world like the WoW MMO.

You've been selected to alpha test a MetaMMO that will incorporated multiple games around the world while still retaining the WoW skillset.

Think you guys are up to it?"

Here I was, wanting to do a TG vs TG faceoff....

>>18047962
>Kali: "Ha! You guys are terrible. Maybe it WASN'T a shame that I never got to dance with you!"

>>18048008
You mean a training mission?
You can do those.

>"Well then, a canon is basically a world like the WoW MMO."
Lorefail (Death knight) speaks up.
"Ha! You call that piece of shit a 'canon'? Have you SEEN the writing lately? If there was a 'canon' it went down the toilet as soon as Illidan died."

>Think you guys are up to it?"
Melissa talks.
"Well, we still have to go home to raid weekly, and farm mats, and chat with our friends. But if we have some days off, we might come with you."

>>18048011
>WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORES
Max: "That's Plan A!"

>>18048081
I do have one small question. Does your guildchat and RealID still work when you're here?

If they do, don't tell people about this stuff, they'll become jealous and want in themselves.

@Kali and the others: Well, lets get ready to go on our short trip.

>>18048081
"A canon is like a story. Like, say, the Deadmines. The Canon would be a group of 5 assholes yelling at each-other as they slaughter their way to the end, before one of them steals Vanessa's pants and leaves party."

"I don't know what that has to do with us, though. Are we a story?"

"To some degree. But you're also able to ruin stories. Like, what if you go to the deadmines, and remove the supports at the front door, collapsing the tunnel? That would suck for anyone wanting to run the dungeon."

"Sounds like a douchebag move."

"That's what we're here to prevent. Douchebags ruining instances that don't belong to them."

"So we go in and kill the douchebags?"

"Then undo whatever the douchebags did."

"Makes sense. What kind of douchebags are we PvPing against?"

>sapphydracases.deviantart
>second_life.wmv
>kingdom_hearts_fanfiction.rtf

"Dear god what the fuck."

"Well they're not ALL that bad. But yes, basically, that."

"Are there any missions where we just go into a dungeon, kill everything, and leave?"

"No, not usually. But there may be some missions like that in Farming."

"Will we get paid? Rep? Pets? Mounts?"

"Probably."

"*shrug* Might as well. Beats farming herbs for 8 hours."

>>18048081
>>18048282

"Hmm, we can't provide the purples except for really good work but we can pay for your time in WoW materials. That sound like a good exchange?"

The TG office in WoW is collecting materials after all. That shouldn't be a big drain.

>>18048282
"It's not all assholes. Sometimes a story gets fucked up randomly, by people just walking where they don't belong, and you need to just put everything back where it was, without killing anyone"

"Sounds boring."

"Well, not all work is for everyone. You guys would best be suited to Farming missions, I think."

"Farming? You mean like Herbs?"

"Naw, I mean like killing things and looting their bodies."

"I.e. more of the shit we already do."

"Yep."

"Well, more pay for the same work's always good."

>"Hmm, we can't provide the purples except for really good work but we can pay for your time in WoW materials. That sound like a good exchange?"

"Yeah, we get the Purps already. Wish they'd bring out new dungeons."

"Well, Farming has plenty of dungeons. Might as well talk to them."

"*shrug* k"

>>18048170
"Yeah, guildchat works. Most of our guild has already been through your recruiting, and all of them but Raid Team A (us) failed the Retard Obstacle Course."
The team makes a hearty laugh.

>Kali, Max
"Anything to say to the Minecrafter or to Blastoise before we head off?"

>>18048282
Yeah, we basically work like the Tournament in Icecrown, but we only give our rewards to elite people, instead of any moron who can run 15 daily quests for us. Also, instead of running the same place 6,000 times, you'll go to new places each time.

For dancing, do you think we could head to one of the broadway musicals for a half-hour or so?

As OP must review SETTINGS before sending you on a quest, for the rest of today, you'll be spamming suggestions to me for your "5 canons we go to, to pick up Beer. Smokes, and Girls".
You may also suggest items to take with you - like local money, or bodyguards, or a thief or something.

So. Spam suggestions at me for WHERE you're going to pick up your Ale and Wenches, and I'll do my best to know enough of the setting to reliably run it.

>>18048393
To the Minecrafter:
"Howdy. You doing well after the Dungeon Crawl excursion?"

>>18048393

>Blastoise

Hello Blastoise. I can't understand a word you say, but you don't need to. You were AWESOME back in the dungeon crawl. Keep on doing what you're doing.


>Minecrafter

Same goes for you, Stevey. Your logistical support was invaluable. So, what are you planning to do in the downtime we got right now?

>>18048440
Hmm. For booze, could we hit up an Elder Scrolls canon?

>>18048440
Also, knowing the way you guys loot wenches, 1 SKYRANGER won't be enough to hold all of 'em. Consider buying a bigger transport craft, especially one with teleport-up-and-down technology so you're not hopping out of a VTOL aircraft to go barhopping, as cool as it sounds.

Again: Use your brain, don't be idiots, and you'll get the Booze, Smokes, and Girls.

For instance, you might visit the Golden Saucer in FF7, or the Burning Corpse Bar in Planescape: Torment. Perhaps the Lucky Money in Deus Ex? I dunno. Pick places where you'd be likely to find Booze, Smokes, and Girls.

>>18048470
"not good"
"not bad"
"was scary"
"want to go home now"
"dw, promise i wont build a pyramid to breach the meta"
"probs will build a pyramid though"

>Hello Blastoise. I can't understand a word you say, but you don't need to. You were AWESOME back in the dungeon crawl. Keep on doing what you're doing.
Blastoise taps a box on its chest.
"Toiseblast."
"thank you"
"Blastoise toise blast blast toise blastoise."
"wish I could've been more help, I hardly got to fight in there."

>>18048521
An Elder Scrolls canon is likely to have BOOZE, DRUGS and WOMEN.
For instance: There are some UNIQUE WINES in Oblivion, and lots of SKOOMA. There are also many WOMEN, of particular note is that one from TES:V that people keep going on about.

Where else would you like to go? Pick at least 5 places, and if OP does not know them, he will take a few days/weeks to learn them well enough.

>>18048559
Blastoise tells you that he's meeting some of his old friends recently. A recruiting office opened up on his homeworld after a Hedonist attack was repulsed.
Blastoise says there's likely to be a war between Hedonists and Pokemon soon, and he's worried about dying, but he's happy to fight to defend his home.

Leisure Suit Larry,
Grand Theft Auto,
Saint's Row,
Skyrim,
Flying Spaghetti Monster's heaven (Beer volcano and hooker factory),
Witcher

I'd say best choices might be Skyrim, Witcher, Leisure Suit Larry, Heaven, and possibly Deus Ex.

>>18048597

Thats the sort of conflict the guard will send reinforcements too.

Let TG know if war does break out. We'll come running.

>>18048559

Alright, I'm familiar with Oblivion and Morrowind, and somewhat familiar with Skyrim.

Morrowind is probably the best canon to hit up if we want skooma/moon sugar. Women? Not so much.
Oblivion? Two wineries and lots of taverns to burglarize. Not sure about women.
Skyrim has everything Oblivion does and more.

I'm voting for either Skyrim or Morrowind.

>>18048618
I haven't played any GTAs past vice city, any in particular you'd recommend I play?

God, Leisure suit larry. That shit takes me back. Might watch a few Let's play's, or I could just bullshit up a random bar in New York and do it in adventure game style. "use CASH on HOOKER", etc.

Never played Skyrim, probably not going to. Anything in particular you want me to look up on their wiki pages? Like, particular bars or items or NPCs?

Haven't heard of the FSM canon at all! Need link.

Also haven't played Witcher, should probably watch a few playthroughs since I've heard it's good.

>>18048634
Blastoise thanks you for your concern.
Blastoise warns you. The Hedonists are using advanced weaponry. You can check out more news on the base terminals, since it's below Blastoise's clearance to look at.

>#8. Check base console for WEAPONRY SCHEMATICS in likely Hedonist-TG war

>>18048669
Agreed.

>#8. Check base console for WEAPONRY SCHEMATICS in likely Hedonist-TG war

>>18048669
http://www.venganza.org/images/spreadword/sk_brochure.pdf
Basically, it's a god that was created because Kansas wanted to teach intellegent design in school, so someone made this as a reason why it's a stupid idea. His religion has flimsy moral standards and his heaven has a stripper factory and a beer volcano.

Witcher is also awesome, you actually collect cards from screwing every woman you see. http://witcher.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Sex_Cards NSFW obviously.

>>18048669
Lets go for #8
Also, I vote for Vice City.

>>18048714
In addition to the usual gamut of Plasma Guns, artillery cannons, tanks, airplanes, magic wands that shoot fire, giant swords that can cut a house in two, and spaceships that can glass a planet from orbit, there are a few 'special' items that are likely to be deployed in the upcoming war.

"Lucky 11" rifle and "Lucky 21" chaingun
These guns use Soul Gems of strong enemy creatures (typically captured from an Oblivion or Morrowind canon), to fire 10 (or 20) instances of Weakness to magicka 100% on target for 3 seconds, followed by a single shot that "Increases the duration of all harmful effects on target" by 100% for 2 seconds, THEN adds 100% increased damage for 2 seconds, and makes the target's actions take 100% longer (i.e. 2 times the time) for 2 seconds.
These weapons cost 20 DOSH for the Rifle and 35 DOSH for the chaingun, but the reloads cost 150 DOSH for the Rifle, and 300 DOSH for the Chaingun, and the reloads are not included.
TG-made.

>more

>>18048815
Transpace 'Smart' artillery
MIRV warheads, launchable from airplanes, missile beds, or spaceships. Each individual warhead is armed with a reality distortion detector, a guidance system, and a shaped warhead. The warheads are a 2-stage system capable of penetrating walls or rooves down to about 1 meter, and destroying the specific target inside.
The warheads have a safety that destroys its explosive payload mid-air if it cannot find a target.

Transpace 'Smart' artillery can also target Magic, Psionics, or Mind controllers.
It is not yet advanced enough to target, say, "Perverse minds" as it cannot tell these apart from normal minds yet, but Science crews are working on it.
Transpace-made.

>>18048815
Who sold them those TG-use weapons? Rogue editors?

>>18048874
These are weapons WE would likely use, son.

>>18048874
I think that's the stuff we're using on THEM.

>>18048815
How much would it cost in DOSH to deploy a Hibachi against the Hedonists?

(that is, if anyone managed to loot one at all)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_WWLXBI3Qw#t=1m47s

>>18048815
>>18048871
Transpace "Brain Burrower" Rifle
This rifle is a modified version of a transphasic rifle, which can fire either a Nanotechnological, or a Magic (both options available), virus which implants itself in the target's brain, even through walls.
The virus is designed to look around in the target's mind, and has options available to "Inactive", "Observe", "Incapacitate", "Rewrite", "Render insane", "Kill", and the magic one also has the option to "Destroy Soul".
The Virus can operate even when out of contact with a control system, and is designed to do so. If its programming cannot determine what to do, it defaults to "Inactive".

"Observe" - look at the target's thoughts and broadcast to whoever's watching.
"Incapacitate" - shut off the target's thoughts in a way that can be restarted easily, putting the target into a vegetative state.
"Rewrite" - a low success rate, and takes a long time, but may transform the target into a sleeper agent. May also fail and turn the target insane.
"Render Insane" - The easiest and fastest of the active options, takes effect in a tenth of a second and turns the target into an unrecoverable gibbering mess.
"Kill" - Your breathing and heart. Stop them.
"Destroy soul" - exactly what it says on the tin.

>>18048969
Good ol' Gradius ships. I honestly have no idea of the DOSH price, but likely between 40 and 120. Probably close to 60-80.

>>18048971
Transpace "Purity" wand/gun
A Magical attack device, capable of transmuting Perversion to Pain. It must either maintain a constant link to a person of 'pure' mind, or be wielded by a person of 'pure' mind. It comes with a built-in Magic emitter, and is typically only deployed on Elite troops.
Being a magic attack, it comes in Beam, Homing Ball, and Wide-angle variants. Crews are working to implement "Instant Hit"-style magic into it as we speak, as this item was acquired only recently.

Transpace "Purity" orbital strike
Like the gun. Only it's an orbital strike. Shouting something emotional as you press the attack button is not required, but you may do so if you want.

>>18048597
Can we give blastoise a soul gem if he's worried about dying?
They only cost aorund 1 DOSH each, right? He's been a great team member and has more than earned it. Also, he's more than proven his utility in battle.

>>18049080
Or we could even buy him something like a dose of RED2. While it's rare in the main quest, there should be quite a bit of it now.

>>18049059
Transpace "Clarity" potion/emitter/wand/headgear/missile/etc
Using various means - nanotechnological, magical, surgical, and even a concentrated burst of simply Talking to a person, these devices dispel Mind control from targets.
They are available in many common shapes, sizes, and delivery methods.
Orbital Anti-mindcontrol weaponry has been employed to great effect in fights against Shippers and Hedonists, since it does not affect our troops, but affects MANY of theirs.

Transpace "DBAFRGR (nicknamed "Fragger")" Weaponry.
Stands for "Don't be a fucking retard, get real". A reality emitter, combined with a mind-altering raygun, forces the target's mind to be Realistic. Again, many delivery methods.
It is typically used on S.U.E.s and shippers, though it can be used on anyone who tries to enact 'crazy' ideas.

>>18049104
Yougive Blastoise a 15 DOSH soulgem. He promises to try to get you something of equal or greater value
DOSH remaining for personal use: 853 DOSH.

The difference between The Hardest Boss in Video Game History and Hibachi is that... Hibachi shoots faster and mixes it up with its own attack drones and sometimes a rain of lasers.

>>18049135
Enemy forces are likely to deploy:
Mind control and Suggestion
Lots of it, in all its forms.

Invoke Perversion, Invoke Lust, Invoke Love etc.
Chemical, Magical, Psionic, Nanotech, etc. means of making a person feel a specific emotion. Extremely common amongst enemy forces, so Clarity is suggseted on all troops engaging in combat with them.
Note that Clarity (by default) cannot fully protect against all effects, since Clarity doesn't COMPLETELY block changes in emotion (by default). It still blocks against sudden great changes, but gradual changes may still take effect.
There are options to completely block changes in personality and emotion temporarily, but they are quite drastic.

Also, there are perverse clones of our "Purity" weapons.
Weapons to make the target a hermaphrodite, to make the target a little girl, to make the target giant, to grant the target breasts twice the size of their body.

We're currently searching feverishly for a device to return people to their normal state - a "Consensual sex in the missionary position between people of opposite genders with the lights off" device, or such, but we have not yet found it.
When we do, the FIRST looter team available (that aren't morons) will be sent to claim it, and every one after that until it's ours.

>>18049206
Enemy forces have, fortunately, not yet found a "Guro" fetish device, or a "Psychological Trauma" fetish device, but we have no doubt that they eventually will.
They ALREADY have devices to [CENSORED] the target from orbit, and devices to turn the target into a sex slave. Be extremely careful around these devices.

Also, of course, the enemy have charmed/seduced many Canon heroes into their service. This is particularily troublesome for us, as if dispelling mind control does not work, we need to find a way to take said heroes ALIVE.

>>18049261
We're in Autosage, so I'm archiving the thread.
Next thread, after Metaquest OP tomorrow, will be a planning thread for the Booze mission.

Have fun, lads! And think up ideas of what to take to our Boozin', Druggin', Womenizin' day off.

>>18049261
Why cant we just use "the soul gem, pound of flesh, and a few weeks in the tanks, them obliviate" method of capturing them?

>>18049326
Because sometimes our troops go into combat and forget to take soul gems with them. ;)

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bootleg

Threads here. You guys did well today.

>>18049297
That if there's even a MetaQuest tomorrow.

>>18049340
And you earned your sleep. Maybe you should try to fix your weird sleep patterns, at that.

>>18049377
I am a NEET that surfs 4chan all day.
Sleep? What sleep? Time for more internet trolling.

>>18049410
Try taking multiple naps in a day instead of long hours. Like that Everyman method.

>>18049206
>>18049261
So yes. Skyscraper-sized scalie futanari nymphomanic sadist loli sonic fan characters in latex and rainbow kneesocks. Our enemy can make them.
Fortunately a single blast of Purity turns them into a (very large) rain of giblets, or throwing a few "Cure mutation" potions at them will work, but throwing a potion is always quite risky, and incredibly expensive.

>>18049447
I have noted your advice, and will try it!