>>17923444

Ork buggy racing time? Win. Also Papa, dammit, I have to repost my other post here. Shenanigans.

I was surprised no one picked up on the Eldrad connection as well, but I never was around for these threads until now, and thus never had the opportunity to bring it up. Also, when overtime is finished, i'm starting a Galactic Partridges thread. Post my stuff, see if we can't get the rest of /tg/ to flesh these guys out more. And we have yet to make it with Eshwe, and we best be doing so before this quest is over.

>>17923444
Oh man Karen you are climbing tiers by the dozen here.

>>17923466

Wait we did? I thought we just had potential shower time before she was worried we'd alert everyone else?.. IM SO CONFUSED

So here's the plan.

we get on the hood, pull out the nurgle special, then have her drive us closer hit ra' with our plaguesword

>>17923478

Few threads back. We met up and did the nasty in the hot springs

>>17923481
>Implying she won't enjoy that.

>>17923489

Dammit really? I must have missed that on sup/tg/. Must be tagged under something else. Anyone know the specific thread it was in?

>>17923478
naw, man. we deflowered her heresy in the hotsprings. esh came so hard slaanesh herself felt it.

>>17923516
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17543409/

The wicked machine of engines and firepower roars to life with a throaty rumble. Pipes kick out black exhaust, spewing out inside the mekshop. Jet engines engage and a high pitched whine forces you to clamp your ears shut.

"Oh yeah, she's ready!" The Ork girl grins, giving the side of the vehicle a satisfied pat.

"Great, now where do I sit?" You frown upon realizing that the vehicle is a single seater.

"Sit? Well... You can hang on the back?" Clearly Karen hadn't thought this far ahead either.

Fortunately, there is a handhold on the back, enough for you to clamp on with your strong mechanical arm. You plant your feet against the rear spoiler, doing your best to lock yourself into place.

A sane person would have taken one look, and bowed out gracefully. Thankfully, you are not a sane person.

"Lets get this shit on." You reach up and place a cigar in your teeth. You'd nicked it from the Warboss as he'd clapped you on the back. Surely he won't notice.

You light the cigar on a jet engine, take a puff, and place a pair of goggles Karen handed you over your own face.

"Kick it."

rolled 12 = 12

Come on, Ra'alman just needs to learn some restraint, Let's ask her to go to a movie with us for a first date, rather than going straight to vore on the first date.

Both she and tonya seemed okay with us going out with other girls, just tell them that if they want to be with us they need to get along with our other girlfriends.

>>17923570
tonya's getting slagged. there can be no other option.

>>17923543

Quick skimmed - Yep I read it. My brain just blotted it for the sheer power of the Deflowering of the Tsunseer almost caused my head to explode from an excess of WAAAGGHHHH! Also, Papa references Macha even here, and we still didn't notice the Eldrad thing till now. We need to put some points into observation /tg/

>>17923547
>Riding on the back of an Ork jetcar with a stolen Creed brand cigar
>oh you

>>17923598
Bite me.

She is the best waifu and you are an ungainly homosexual for implying otherwise.

This thread lacks DOOMRIDER, VIII and Max busting criminals in a hive city.

rolled 9 = 9

>>17923598
Tonya needs to know we just aren't ready for such a major change like becoming an undead technozombie, and that she has to let us go at our own pace and not rush such a big decision.

She's immortal, surely she can let us think about it for a few centuries?

>>17923466
>>17923342
just figured it was a semi-commonish name given her craftworld of origin.

Why oh why you uttered those words, you don't know.

What you do know, is that your body was not ready. Not even the slightest. For what it was about to endure.

Most vehicles accelerate gracefully, sensibly taking at least some time to reach up and snatch speed in its claws. This, however, ignores such things as grace, and gnashes speed in its ugly hands before deciding it isn't radical enough and chucking it aside.

Simply put, the Kustom racer goes from zero to about FUCK in an average of oh shit seconds.

You can't even manage to scream obscenities, its all you can do to keep your mouth shut and pray to the Emprah. Even the cigar is straining, the wind nearly ripping it from your teeth.

You can't tell Karen to slow down, either. Not even with a hand gesture, because now you've got both of them clamped down tight on whatever you managed to find purchase on. You haven't bothered looking, eyes fixated ahead as terrain shoots beneath your wheels at a speed that redefines speed.

Karen, for her part, seems to be rather enjoying it. She's smiling and humming some kind of Orky tune as though this were merely just a Sunday drive through the country.

Completely oblivious, it seems, to you nearly pissing your power armor from the ride.

If the trukk you rode in earlier made it to the shore quickly, you don't even know how to DESCRIBE this.

Despite your strain to stay on the racer, you are scanning as hard as you can for one thing, and only one thing.

Someone or something has your hat, without your strict consent, and that is simply not acceptable.

>>17923624
There's only one thing to do with 'crons. Part 'em out and melt down the rest.

>>17923598
Lets try to fix her.

100% serious here, it will be the proudest achievement we fulfill other than finishing the quest itself.

Did Abadon take off our arm? Did a couple of 'nids make us cower in fear every time their name was brought up? Did we hesitate when we had to fight Malal in the warp?

Tonya is the hardest obstacle in our path; one that I'd like to see conquered. We are going to fix her Emporer-damnit, or we can't even call ourselves a man.

creed set that cigar up.

KICK THIS OVERTIME INTO OVERDRIVE!

>>17923671
Might happen when the main thread is over, it was fun the last time.

"Hang on, I'm going to hit the Turbo Boost!" Karen shouts back at you.

The what?

Did she just say something about boost?

Is she implying this thing goes faster?

1d20 to hang on for dear life

rolled 10 = 10

>>17923758
I don't think its possible to get a one at this point.

rolled 9 = 9

best of hopes

>>17923723
Also, she is a Pariah. An Oldcron. Her warscythe ignores invuln saves. That's something it wouldn't hurt to have on our side considering it cuts through PLOT ARMOR.

FUCKING HELL I MISSED A THREAD!!!!!
Narrator: Morgan Freeman
Max: Steven Bulm
Fem Max/Helena: Nicole Sullivan
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Ailia: Tara Strong
Esh: Grey DeLisle
Senna and Senda: Grey DeLisle
Kaleshi: Melissa Fahn
Tonya: Dionne Quan
Mika: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Tommy Blacha
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor(Casual): Andrew Stanton
Emperor(Serious): Peter Cullen
Malice: Frank Welker
DarkHammer: Tony Jay
Kais: Scott McNeal
8: Phil Lamar
Vect: J.K. Simmons
Ra'alman: Ian Holm
H Jon Benjamin: Teach
Tankered: Brian Blessed
Logan Grimnar: Vladimir Kulich
Creed: Liam Neson
Bjorn: Patrick Warburton
Horus: David Kaye

Just hang off the back, eh?

rolled 9 = 9

>>17923758

We're so boned. BUT WE SHALL TRY ANYWAY, FOR THE EMPRAH!

rolled 3 = 3

>>17923723
Amusingly, the answer to all those questions is "No"

rolled 6 = 6

OH YEAH!

>>17923723
I'm for fixing her, I don't get the hate, She's crazy, you cant fault the insane.

rolled 16 = 16

>>17923758
Rollan

>>17923774
>Narrator: Morgan Freeman

every time

EVERY! TIME!

I can't get his smooth, chocolatey voice narrating the vore scenes with absolute calm out of my head.

rolled 16 = 16

dice gods have mercy.

rolled 18 = 18

>>17923772
Exactly. And I'd rather her army of unstoppable metal be on our side in the final fight rather than Malal's.

rolled 5 = 5

C'mon guys. Use the dice!

Natural 20, called shot. We're swinging ourself over the handlebars and getting a bj mid ride.

We got this

rolled 4 = 4

WE ARE THE BEST PASSENGER!

rolled 17 = 17

>>17923791
Thanks for clarifying that.

rolled 8 = 8

>>17923834
Don't be a prick

I hate insta-respawn servers b/c they always result in a stalemate / sudden death / overtime unless the teams are grossly imba.

The main reason there are delays before respawns is for server stability and the second reason's to punish players for sucking. But if you remove the time limit you must also up the capture rate to account for defenders respawning near their cap as fast as attackers kill them.

>>17923856

rolled 19 = 19

>ohboyherewego.jpg

Also Papa, I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate that Top Gear reference.

>>17923800
tonya took our arm, and tried to steal hat-chan. there can be no forgiveness, only death for her crimes.

>>17923812

>MFW Yanderecron turns out to only be acting yandere because she thought we liked that kind of thing.

Also, there has been a distinct lack of HUE HUE HUE HUE lately, has Papa become a benevolent overlord?

>>17923877

We got a better arm and she did nothing to hat chan. We lost hat chan and Kaleshi saved it from Failbadon.

rolled 9 = 9

WHITE WHALE, HOLY GRAIL

>>17923877
When we called her expecting crazy she told us she would be the little girl for us. /tg/ cannot resist that.

>>17923877
Dude, Max is far more lover then hater, She's not evil, she just needs some of her nuts and bolts realigned.

>>17923925
There is nothing wrong with her that we cannot fix with our penis.

>>17923877
You are retarded. The whole reason the Emps gave us this mission was because we can use our dick to heal the hurts of millenia of strife. The robo-bitch is mentally ill. She needs some serious healing.

And I know just the tool for the job.

Turbo Boost implies an increase in speed, a standard unit of distance over time.

What Karen should call the button she hits would be the button for the insanity engine.

The racer doesn't increase speed, no. Speed simply nods, realizes it's been bested, and steps aside, yielding to its successor.

The rokkits all ignite at once, jet engines scream, the pipes go from spewing smog to not being able to rid themselves of it fast enough, as though the smoke itself is flowing upwards. The wheels even leave the ground, which must be why she'd installed the two small wings off to the sides of the vehicle.

Still, despite all of this, you see what you came for. Your hat, clutched in Tonya's fingers.

With a smile, she sniffs the brim, and looks back up at you.

"Faster! FASTER!" You cry, but to no avail.

Despite your speed, despite this terrible dragon of the land, you are too late.

With a faint wave, Tonya fades from your vision along with her immortals.

Taking hat-chan with her, to wherever it is that she goes.

"Fuck. Everything."

>>17923942
Lets sit down and think out a plan of action.

And by think of a plan of action, I mean have some private time with Karen.

>>17923942
sex 4 hat? I'm willing to make that deal

>>17923942
We will deal with her in due time.

Time to resolve things with Ra'almon and get busy with Karen.

>>17923942
Summon the void dragon

Just as bad, well, perhaps not QUITE as bad, looms another issue.

Ra'alman, the strong black she-beast that she is, isn't taking too kindly to seeing yet another woman with HER MAN.

A point the fish god demonstrates by rising up out of the water, a towering figure of devilish intent.

[ ] Get Karen to veer off and head to base, you don't feel like dealing with this bullshit at the moment

[ ] Launch yourself in a blazing plaguesword attack and hope for the best

[ ] Try to talk this out

>>17923942
No, FUCK... NO, SHE IS SO BEING SCRAP METAL NOW... YOU CAN CUT OUR ARM OFF, YOU CAN SHOVE A POISONOUS SWORD IN OUR CHEST, BUT IF YOU TAKE OUR HAT, HELL IS TO BE PAID, WE RIP AND TEAR HER WITH HER HUGE CIRCUITRY

>>17924029
TALK IT OUT

rolled 14 = 14

>>17924029
[X] Talk this out, we're all adults here.
But i think we should do it from far enough inland that she can't just grab us.

>>17924029
[X] Try to talk this out.

C'mon, Ra'alman, Girl, there are other fish in the sea, LITERALY.

>>17924029

>[X] Try to talk it out

I have no idea with Ra'alman can talk or not, but fighting hasn't worked, and running hasn't worked (Not permanently), this seems to be our only option. LET US SEE IF WE MIGHT REASON WITH THE SHE-BEAST

>>17924032
She is using it as bait and we were going to go after her eventually anyway. No harm done.

>>17924029
>[X] Get Karen to veer off and head to base, you don't feel like dealing with this bullshit at the moment

We need to keep Ra'alman around for future HUEHUEHUE!

>>17924029
Talk it out. If we can get the fish that has been stalking us this entire game on our side...

...that would be a real catch.

>[x]talk it out
it's just crazy enough to... lead to fishvore with a side of ork. which i'm okay with.

>[x] File a legal complaint

>>17923444
[ ] Launch yourself in a blazing plaguesword attack and hope for the best
VENT OUR ANGER AND FUSTRATION ON THE FISH, RIP AND TEAR HER HUGE GUTS! DHOIHIOFBUODCBS... ok im calm now

rolled 9 = 9

>>17924093
But this huge fish could help us get our hat back!

>>17924032
Hat-chan will live, infact, it's likely to be very safe in her hands, her obssession combined with its use as a hostage would preclude any idea she could possibly have about harming our hat in any way.

rolled 5 = 5

[X] try to talk this out

show her who wears the pants

>>a lot of people are going to die because of this

"Stop this thing!" You shout to Karen; who despite giving you a look clearly questioning your sanity, of which there is little, does so.

"You uh... Sure about this, Max?" She asks, clearly quite put off by you walking on wobbly knees (from the ride...yeah) toward the towering deity of the oceans.

"Hey you! Yes, you!" You wave your hands above your head, and the gigantic beast gives you a ponderous stare. Or whatever passes for one, you think.

"I'm listening, mortal." A screeching voice inside your mind, like a train flipping on its side and scraping it's contents of nails across the chalkboard plains beside its tracks.

You actually have to work your jaw and blink to get the ringing out of your brain.

Opening your mouth, you delve into it.

>well /tg/, lets hear it, how do you talk down a fish god you've tried to kill before?

>>17924150
Take Abbadon instead!

use the plaguesword!

plague sword, augment with psycher powers for FORCE SWORD KILL. and then make everyon fish sammichz

I hear gods dig scripture. Recite the heart sutra while sitting in full lotus posture

>>17924150
Why can't you go about this like a reasonable whateveryouare? How about asking me what I want rather than just trying to eat me every time we meet?

rolled 15 = 15

>>17924150
Listen, Ra'alman, I think you're taking this relationship a bit too fast, I'm not the kind of guy who'll let you eat him on the first date.

Anyone else got suggestions for adding raalman to our harem?

>>17924150
Talking down a giant fish...uh, i'm all out of ideas.
so, i'll just make it up, tell it that Max was actually gifted to the blood ravens and he is just a stand in.
see if that can keep it off us for a time.

>well /tg/, lets hear it, how do you talk down a fish god you've tried to kill before?
...by convincing her that we can get her a hot date with slaanesh?

>>17924219
Warp based transfiguration, give her a body more in line with our tastes.

>>17924233
This I like.

>>17924150

"Okay Ra'almon, i'll level with you. Do you have another name besides that by the way? I'm sure such a magnificent creature would prefer a name of her own making, rather than the one the scared locals have forced upon you. When we first met, we got off on the wrong foot. I was merely attempting to fish for food, for both myself and the Eldar with me, Eshwe when I accidentally brought you forth from the depths. In a panic, I attempted to lash out at you, and for that I was wrong."

*deep breath*

"Since then, every encounter we've had has resulted in some kind of violence on my behalf, and it has been entirely my fault. I tend to panic in situations where I am powerless (As i'm sure you've observed), and though I honestly feared for my life, it was no reason to attempt to kill you, without seeing if I could reason with you. It has been a long time since our first encounter however, and I have learned much. I sincerely apologize for any grievances I caused you, and i wonder if we might be able to repair the relationship between us. While i'm not sure of the logistics between a physical relationship between the two of us, I would like to attempt to be friends, if not civil from this point forward. How does that sound?"

>>17924253

Wow, that was more BS in one post than i've said in an entire week to my fiance. I'm not sure whether to be impressed with myself or ashamed.

>>17924272
Why not both?

Listen babe, you know I'm a catch. But there are pleanty of fish in the sea. I know you're looking for exclusivity, but you gotta face it Tina-tuna: I'm just not that guy. I'm hooking babes left and right, and an eternity of being your sea-man filling you with my semen, while under the sea (man), just isn't going to work out well for any party involved. You gotta be true to youself, I gotta be true me.

>>time to work my silver tongue
Look Fish God... Leviathan... thing, I know that you're attracted to me and all, but you gotta stop stalking me and trying to eat me to impregnate you. For one thing, there is no way how a relationship between you and I will work, your a goddess of the sea, and i'm a simple Imperial Guard-commissar trying to get his swag on with the hot bitches here on Yavis before I die, and I can't have you cut in my swag.
*demonstrate said swag by smackin Karen's lovely rump*
Besides, be honest here, how long have you been trying to get me? Days? Weeks? You're wasting your time on trying to get me. You're a lovely Sea Creature and I'm sure you can devour some other handsome looking human or xenos to fertilize your eggs. It's like the old saying "theres plenty of fish in the sea." And with you, that is literal... So what do you say, would you kindly stop stalking me?

rolled 18 = 18

>>17924219
here

Ra'alman, if you want to be with me you have to slow down and get on with my other girlfriends, i have responsibilities to them and can't fufill those responsibilities if i'm inside you.

I think that we should go to a relationship councilor together to work out our issues like adults.

I'd like you to meet karen, one of my other girlfriends, i'm sure you'll get on great if you give her a chance.

Maybe add:
I might even be willing to let you vore me sometime, as long as you let me out after a few hours and keep it safe, sane, and consentual.

>>17924286
"And I'll be frank, you're one fish I'd like to stick. And if we hooked up from time to time, I wouldn't mind. But you gotta put things in perspective and see thing in scale. The isn't "le fin" for us, unless you want it to be.

So here are the plans so far:

[ ] Try to kill the fish with your sword

[ ] See if she will just accept Slaanesh rather than you

[ ] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish

[ ] Be reasonable and let her down gently

Which is your final answer /tg/?

Remember gentlemen, the ideal outcome here is a Mermaid waifu for the harem.

>>17924334
Something is pretty fishy about this post, I'm not letting you reel me in with it

[ ] See if she will just accept Slaanesh rather than you

>>17924344
Transformation
Slaanesh
Reasonable let down
Sword

In that order

>>17924344
>[X] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish

Must acquire Ra'alman for our harem!

[x] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish
this could either go awesome or horribly wrong

>>17924296
"Oh and I totally am sorry for trying to fish you up before and eat you. I was trying to show off my swagalishis fishing skills to this one Eldar chick, and if that is some form of courtship to you and gave you the impression that I wanted to be with you, then I'm sorry I got your hopes up.

>>17924344
Transformation

If that doesn't work, throw Slaanesh at her

I'm all for fish-puns, but given that that's not on the list:

>[ X ] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish

>>17924344
[X] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish.
Combine with>>17924334
For this to work we must invoke all of the gods at once to assist us in this endevor of love.

>>17924344
You know what? Fuck it let's give it a try.
[ ] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish

>orkedbu She
We should turn her into an Ork?

>>17924344

[X] See if she will just accept Slaanesh rather than you

While i'd like the mermaid waifu, I think it's best to try and hook her up with Slaanesh. That fucker has messed with our bro Doomrider one too many times. He still owns Doomrider the rape hands from like 20 threads ago. I'm not sure if Slaanesh would enjoy Ra'almon or not, but we either curry favor with Slaanesh, or get revenge for Doomrider, it's a win-win.

>>17923444
[ ] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish
may end up looking like a mermaid like in pic, which is good... more poontang for us in our harem

>[ X ] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish

sounds crazy, works for me.

rolled 4 = 4

>>17924344
[X] Try to convince her to slow down with the vore, and get along with our other girlfriends, possibly transforming her into a mermaid if she wants it

(I'd prefer to leave Ra'alman huge, as having a gigantic seamonster for a girlfriend would be useful, especially if Tonya won't stop the whole 'trying to turn us into a necron' thing or wont give us back hat-chan)

trans and/or slaan. possibly a slaan powered trans.

then again though, if she DOESN'T turn into a hot ass mermaid chick, theeeen lets give her to slaanesh, he's into every fetish known (and unknown) to man so he should gladly accept in open arms.... and orifices

[X ] Try to transform her into something less sea-horror-ish

Why the fuck not?

I'm thinking an aquatic naga, like this but wetter (ha ha multible entandre)

>>17924426
>>17924482

Mmmmm

>>17924482
I could live with that.

"Alright so listen, we both know that this CLEARLY isn't going to work out, that much is obvious. I mean, you are a massive goddess of the ocean and I'm me."

The fish tilts its head slightly as it listens to you talk. At least it appears to be intently following along.

"I know, you are clearly hooked on me, and I'll admit I'm quite a catch. That said, I need more line than you are willing to give me, you can't keep me wound tight on a spool. Now let me put this into scale for you, I'm willing to try something and I'm not trying to bait you into a trap alright?"

"Go on..." A hiss in your mind, this one not as sharp and painful as the last burst of psyonic speech.

"What I'm trying to say is that there might be some way to make you less toothy and I'm up to the gills in ideas."

Ra'alman hangs ponderously for a moment, before slowly lowering down and resting gently on the sand in front of you.

"Fair enough, but any more puns and I just eat you."

"Alright, I just don't want you acting shellfish toward the others alright? You've got to learn to share if this all works out somehow."

"I should devour you just for that. But continue."

[ ] Maybe your mind powers will work, though this seems a bit out of your league perhaps

[ ] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?
>who?

[ ] Distract with wacky scheme, escape intact

>>17924539
[X] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?
who? The Gods, All of the Gods!

>>17924539
[x]Phone a Friend

Tzeentch/Slaanesh?

[ ] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?

slaanesh should be able to help. this is right up her alley

>>17924539
Call Doomrider and see if he can get you Slaanesh.

Otherwise maybe the DEldar twins if they are any good at Psyker type shit because no way will Esh be up for this.

[x] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?
Kaleshi

>>17924589
DE psychers

I... Wat?

>>17924539
Phone a friend.

Tzeentch or someone else with Chaos would be the best bet since I highly dought the Eldar would be for using sorcery to transform stuff. Just be cool with Tzeentch and dont pisss her off?

>>17924539
We need a fucking chaos god on this. Anyone lesser and we won't know what we're getting with this whole transformation business.

>>17924607
oh right

i am good at brain today

>>17924539

>[X] Phone a friend.

We don't have Tzeentch's communicator number, but we do have the DE twins' number, and the Dark Eldar are capable of extremely complex bio-manipulation, and regeneration. They're our best bet.

Also, some of you think it's a good idea to entrust a transformation to Slaanesh? Heellllzzz no giant fish eight penises thank you. Tzeentch could work, but only because the Emprah is on our side and shes tsun tsun for him

doomrider will know what to do

>>17924539
>[ X ] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?
>Who?

1st choice: Obviously Tzeench. She might not like us, but she sure saved our bacon w/ Malal. Also, she's the Big E's Waifu and he's our bro/deity/whatnot.

2nd choice: Slaanesh. Because transformation is also a fetish.

Transformation

>>17924539
>[ X ] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?

Tzeench please

[ ] Phone a friend more knowledgeable on such an endeavor?
>>dial random numbers, call commando again, hilarity ensures....
naw but for real though, call Tzeentch, she is the Chaos god of CHANGE

>>17924539
dial up slaan

>>17924619
Why would we NEED Tzeench's com number? She'll know when we need to call her, she's already been in our mind. She'll know...

Alternatively,
[X] Pull Tzeench's number out of Creed's cigar.

rolled 13 = 13

>>17924611
Why not just ask all four chaos gods to help us, and maybe ask the eldar guys to come join in, maybe we could help patch things up between the eldar and slaanesh by having them work together?

I'm fine with just leaving her as a huge sea monster, as long as she starts acting reasonably.

>>17924664
I like the way you think, We're all goin to live together, We'd all better start working together.

>>17924664
But asking them to transform a giant rape fish to a hot, regularized scaly goddess is not the proper way to bond and heal old wounds.

I think.

>>17924539
Call up Kaleshi, have her connect us to Slaanesh?

>>17924729
Why not?

>>17924735
She is a Khornate and already disapproves of our interactions with Slaanesh. Call Doomrider.

so does this mean fungusfish threesome if we pull it off?

>Orks have Mad Doks.
>DEldar have hideos bio-tech and cloning,
>Eldar have Disney magic.
>Tzeench is goddess of change.
>Slaanesh is god(dess?) of TF fetishism
>Nurgle is... a pretty cool guy.

Hell, let start a-dialin.'

>>17924426
That's....not so offensive. Where's the part about her needing the semen of men to create her epidermal slime or something similarly grossly...gross?
And bonus points for the Mermaid Forest reference, too.

[X] Slaanesh.

rolled 17 = 17

>>17924729
They have to start somewhere, and they both seem to like us, so having them work together might be a good step.
Once they get more comfortable around each other from working together for us, we can ask them to attend social activities as well as purely professional ones. Maybe have a picnic with all our girlfriends, and invite Slaanesh and the eldar to come along? It seems just crazy enough to work.

>>17924766
Also,
>Sisters have faith magic.

The truth is, however, you don't have that many ideas about what to do. In fact, you hardly have any.

This is well beyond the point of your own powers, of that much you are certain. You can do some pretty impressive stuff with your relatively new psyker abilities, but this is not one of them.

You'd give Tzeentch a call, figuring this would be right up her ally, but you don't exactly have her number.

As you're thinking that, the cigar suddenly pops and fizzes, quite unusual. A small strip of metal falls out. Most peculiar.

The little plate is engraved "Tzeentch" and lists a communicator number. That fucking Creed...

You dial it up and wait. Ringing...

"The hell do YOU want, mortal?!" Tzeentch growls, her voice low and dangerous. You can make out the crying of an infant in the background.

"Err.... Sorry it seems like a bad time, but to summarize I need help transforming a fish deity into something I can stick my Inquisitor into."

"..."

"Hello?"

"You aren't joking, are you?"

"Nope." You announce.

"...You know I don't particularly like you, at all in fact, don't you?"

"Yep."

A sigh.

"Very well, I'll offer my assistance. In return, I'll get something from you of my choosing, something small and something that will effect you little I should think. I've yet to plan that far ahead, but know I'll ask something of you when the time comes."

She clears her throat.

"Alternatively, Slaanesh wishes me to inform you that it will uphold the same deal, and when I asked what it wanted it started drooling and masturbating furiously."

[ ] Accept Tzeentch's offer

[ ] Accept Slaanesh's offer

[ ] I guess I'm all set, sorry to bug you

>>17924789
I like the way you think.

[x] Accept BOTH offers!

>[ ] Accept Slaanesh's offer
as if /tg/ would pick anything else

also T wants eight's envelope. calling it now.

> [ X ] Accept Tzeentch's offer

Also bring up that you've never tried to do anything to make her hate us.

>>17924816

[X] Accept Tzeentch's offer
I'd take getting screwed over, over getting screwed by Slaanesh anyday

>>17924816
Slaanesh wants to give us tentacle dicks.

Bone ALL the women!

>>17924816
That bitch wants our hat.

Accept Slaanesh's offer. After all, what's the worst that could happen?

rolled 11 = 11

>>17924816
Add the stipulation that the small something can't be hat-chan or our genitals.

>>17924816
Couldn't we offer something lesser to both, in exchange for assistance from two gods?

Goddamnit. The Troll is Strong in this choice.
OTOH DG Raama could let us DP someone, and if there's anyone who could stand to have the stick up their ass changed it's Eshwe. Who I adore.

[ ] Accept Slaanesh's offer

>>17924816
OOPS WRONG NUMBER MEANT TO CALL SOME DARK ELDAR HOWS THE KID DOIN THATS GREAT BYE

[x] Accept Tzeentch's offer

Tzeench.

>>17924860
>Add the stipulation that the small something can't be hat-chan, our genitals, or VIII's letter.
fix'd that one for you.

Also, Slaanesh would be the better option. We know it pleases her every time our Inquisitor sees some action, how has that not been payment enough.

Actually, do >>17924861 this. It is way better.

>>17924843
It's here now, gotta go with it~

>>17924882
It isn't any of those things

>>17924816
Can we talk about that? I think you're alright and Big E certainly likes you. Why you gotta hate?

Ra'alman is going to need a new voice actor

[ ] Accept Slaanesh's offer
He may know of our personal tastes, so he might give her some nice big buoys, if you get what im saying

Accept TZeench's offer.

Slaanesh

>>17924843
>>17924861
These.

Plus, they are our allys now. They may ask of something odd, but not something that would impair us permanently or cause us harm.

We would should gladly owe the emperor's girlfriend and having her watch us more closely might help.

>>17924903
or huehuehue

rolled 16 = 16

>>17924892
Can we get them to agree to not choose something we'll regret them taking?

Again, i'm fine with us having a huge fish monster for a girlfriend, we could even have sex with the other girlfriends inside her.

>>17924816

WE ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE AN OPEN CONTRACT DEAL WITH FUCKING TZEENTCH. ACCEPT SLAANESH'S OFFER, JUGGLE A FEW DOZEN DICKS, RECEIVE FISHWIFE.

Accept both. Its pretty clearly a tie.

>>17924816
Slaanesh

>>17924816
They both offer a good chance at us getting an aquatic version of>>17924482 Which I am more than OK with.

>>17924917
Quiet you, that's the Emprah's girl your bad-mouthing.

>[ ] Accept Tzeentch's offer

>>17924816
THIS IS /tg/

OF COURSE WE WILL ACCEPT SLAANESH'S OFFER

rolled 15 = 15

>>17924892
Tzeentch

"so, you want me to baby-sit your little godling at some point? no problem.

fuck forgot to clear my name field
>>17924932
>>17924816
>Tzeentch
Well as long as it's not backstabbing the Emperor if you guys get break up then sure I'm in.

>>17924816

Delicious Slaanesh

>>17924940
> implying /tg/ refuses offers from chaos gods

>>17924816
Slaneesh

So... Tzeentch is winning? Having a hard time tallying this up on my phone

[x] Accept Tzeentch's offer

tzeentch's offer

not sure dealing with the Great Enemy would go over with the eldar.

Slaneesh!

ALL OF THE GENITALS!

Slaanesh

I'm seeing eight for # both.

>>17924969
Seems pretty close, maybe a roll?

>>17924969
No, both. >>17924861

rolled =

TZEENCH

Would prefer Slaanesh.

Remember Tzeentch tricked Emps into becoming her babbydaddy at a party. That ain't bro.

>>17924990
What about that handjob we got from the great enemy?

rolled 18 = 18

Change for the change god?

[YES] Accept Tzeentch's offer

[ ] Accept Tzeentch's offer

[x] Slaanesh,

Or I liked that idea of both. Smaller favors to two gods better than one big favor to one or the other.

You guys want me to roll or just do both?

rolled 1 = 1

d02 Know No Limit to decide

1 - Tzeentch
2 - Slaanesh

rolled 206 = 206

[x] Slaanesh

I'm a massive samefag, and so is everyone else!

rolled 2 = 2

>>17925081
Both.

>Tzeentch's offer

Honestly, I'd pick Slaneesh's... but this is Fish Vore we're talking about... Papa would have a field day if we gave him Slaneesh. (That said, I am still half tempted to go with Slaneesh just for kicks...)

>>17925081
1d3
1 slan
2 T
3 both

Roll... and then do both.

rolled 818 = 818

>>17925081
Uh, just roll. I thinking if you do both then it'd come out some horrible monstrosity.

>>17925081
BOTH

rolled 279, 485, 450, 61, 869, 609, 974, 748, 66, 593, 367, 62, 897, 223, 822, 507, 784, 956, 735, 130 = 10617

I don't know what to think anymore.

>>17925105
We're STARTING from a horrible monstrosity, you twit!

definitely have to go with the Changer of Ways to change the fishmonster into a waifu.

Votan for Slannesh!

rolled 4 = 4

Rolling 1d4 for choice.

1-2 Slaanesh
3-4 Tzeentch

>>17925081
Both!

rolled 13383 = 13383

Yeah just roll

Rolls for the roll god!
Dice for the dice throne!

>>17925130
>>17925084
>>17925052

The dice have already decided.

I say both, It'll be epic bringing her along to help capture Tonya and rescue Hat-Chan, also I can't think of a new voice actor for her, help.

>>17925084
>>17925130
So far 2 people have tried, and we got the god of change, i think it's trying to tell us something

>>17925165
depends on what she ends up looking like

>>17925165
Locust Queen from Gears of War?

>>17925165
Angela Basset.

>>17925130
Sigourney Weaver, maybe?

Papa, I don't care who. Just as long as its sexy.

>>17925176
Yeah, that the God of Change can fuck with dice.

Hence both.

the thought of slaanesh masturbating furiously has got me masturbating furiously

living in the basement has got its perks

"Well, whats saying we can't all join up as a team? One big double chaos god, psyker sandwich?"

"...You're serious? Alright I guess? Slaanesh knows what it wants, by the way."

"...Do I even want to know?"

"Your Farseer, a pair of her dirty drawers with a lipstick heart on them."

Well, those shouldn't be too hard to obtain. Then you remember exactly who it is you are dealing with... Well THAT is certainly going to be an interesting conversation.

"That will be difficult, but do-able. And you?"

"You'll find out later when I get around to it, now stand back from the shore."

As much as the thought of making a deal with the secrets and CHANGE unnerves you, its too late now. The water before you has turned into a swirling maelstrom of violet and blue in nearly an instant.

"Whoa, now THIS is some shit." Karen muses, taking a seat on the kustom racer and watching the scene unfold.

>>17925191
Oh god no

>>17925205
>"Your Farseer, a pair of her dirty drawers with a lipstick heart on them."
i am totally okay with this

>>17925205
Anyone got some monstergirl pic you'd like it to look like?

>>17925165
>>17925180
Voice of queen Myrrah is Carolyn Seymour, thats my vote (honestly hear her voice as such for her dialogue)

>>17925205
I can't look

>>17925224
Nice try

>>17925224
NO PAPA N NO
YOU KNOW NOT WHAT EVILS YOU HAVE INVOKED

>>17925206
Well think about it. Giant Fish Monster and all..

>>17925224
Sure, I'd-
>>17925238
Awww

>>17925224
Mine is here>>17924482

rolled 4 = 4

>>17925238

I am Spartacus

rolled 14 = 14

>>17920942
Seems ok, but shouldn't we involve Ra'alman in this?

>>17925224
JESUS CHRIST ITS A POD PERSON, EVERYONE RUN!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prT1E_S__jM

>>17925284
EEWWWWW

Lets do that.

>>17925224
>>17925238
>>17925282
*Takes out gun and points at both Papas*
I... I.. I don't know which one is the real Papa!

That is, indeed, some shit.

The swirling vortex is arcing into the sky. Waves of color move in such a way that it causes your head to ache. You aren't sure what it is that you are watching, and you aren't even sure it won't break your mind.

The waters surge over Ra'alman, and the fish god seems quite hesitant at the events. Not that you blame it, in the least.

The seas grow only more colorful, the sky overhead darkening to a coal black of storming clouds as the water seethes. Ra'alman has disappeared entirely beneath them.

Karen is watching, goggles still in place, her hand with popcorn in it frozen in place as she forgets about the snack entirely.

"I'm twelve and what is this...?" You say in awe at the vision of color, motion, and energy.

>>17925282
>>17925238

What is this I don't even

>>17925335

>>17925224
Well, _I_ fell for it, so nyah. =P
Have a sample anyway.

>>17925335
The trip code, IT'S ALL IN THE TRIP CODE...RIGHT?

>>17925342
i'm eight and what is this... oh wait

Bracing for epic.

>>17925350
Wait. He quoted himself as a imposter.

Holy shit just got real.

ALPHA LEGION IN HERE FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>17925378
And I forgot to remove my failed attempt at impersonation. But the point still stands.

>>17925378
Is no one else concerned that someone got Papa-N's real trip?

>>17925350
All this

The spectacle slowly peaks, before starting to wind down. The ocean stops swirling, the colors fade, the clouds dissipate.

You notice instantly that the towering fish god is absent, and in its place...

Nothing.

"Hey what the fuck guys, this wasn't part of our deal!" You shout angrily.

"Calm yourself, whelp. She's disappeared by her own accord, not of our doing."

"Yeah, but I still expect my payment." Slaanesh adds.

"So she's... Hiding?" You inquire inside your mind.

"Indeed. I'll be taking my payment as well, as our contract has been fulfilled."

So there you stand, wet from the spray of the crazy blue waters, beside your Ork friend. With absolutely nothing to show for the deal you just made.

"Chaos gods are dicks."

"Duh, I coulda told you that." Karen licks the butter off of her fingers.

whelp, im going to bed, tired as fuck, will read this later, night guys, aaaand NQ IV will be either Tuesday or Wednesday, shit will get real with commando and BH Assassin

>>17925454
That's my old trip, which I accidentally compromised.

Whoever it is, I implore you to not derail this...

>>17925466
For once, WE DIVE!
Into the blue we must go!

Did we ever fuck Karen?

>>17925466
whelp, only one thing to do now

ork time

>>17925487
Go fuck Karen. Get Hat-Chan and deal with Necron next thread.

>>17925487
not yet. but i predict this will end with karen/new Ra'alman threesome

>>17925500
indeed

>>17925500
>fish taco jokes

rolled 8 = 8

Time do go swimming!
Changing from a gigantic sea monster into whatever she is now might be a shock for Ra'alman, and she may need comforting.
Let's grab some SCUBA gear and go looking for Ra'alman!
We are the best fisherman, so finding her should be easy!

>>17925500
or Ra'alman turned into a HUEHUEHUE marine

Though you remain on the shoreline for at least an hour, calling out and trying to get some response, you are greeted with only silence. Even your mind powers do nothing.

"We should probably just give up..." Karen pipes up, a bemused expression as she watches you strolling up and down the beach.

"Yeah but how do I know they didn't just screw me over?" You complain.

"That's... Part of dealing with them, I guess?" She holds up her arms, nothing else to add.

"Well that... Sucks." You frown, and chuck another rock out into the waves where it lands with a satisfying splash.

"Eh, you win some you lose some. Now lets head back, I'd like to do something else at least before dinner."

Something else... Something else...

"Hora hora, what are you thinking of doing with the Ork princess?"

Both of you jump at the intrusion, whirling around. A being quite unlike anything you've seen thus far stands before you. A round, powerful tail covered in dark blue scales, pale green hair that falls nearly to the base of said tale. Red eyes that seem to almost glow slightly.

"No. Fucking. Way." You gape.

"Well, I can always turn back." Even as she says it, she does it. In mere moments, the Ra'alman you've always known is staring down at you yet again.

"Now have your fun mortal, I've god things to attend to before I can meet you again." With that, she heaves her heavy body into the air and crashes into the sea. A massive plume of water erupts, drenching you, Karen, and the kustom racer.

"Forget what I said earlier. NOW I've seen some shit." The Ork girl just shakes her head and shrugs, lost for more words.

We must see to our new Semi-Aquatic girlfriend.

>>17925608
Worth it.

We owe Slaanesh some panties.

NOYCE!

>>17925610
never mind

>>17925608
Ra'aman is an Oujo? AWESOME.
MILF ACQUIRED, RTB.

>>17925608
>hora hora
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[ ] Continue with Max for now

[ ] Last stand of a Vindicare

[ ] Something else?

Can always go back to Max later as well

[ ] Continue with Max for now

and papa, did you plan for 8 to die for a while, or was his ending brought by our actions?

[ ] Last stand of a Vindicare

>>17925652
>[ ] Last stand of a Vindicare

rolled 7 = 7

>>17925625
Let's call up our eldar girlfriend and tell her we need her panties, she should understand why we did what we did.
Lets find a way to make it up to her as well, what would she like?
Maybe we should have a get together with all our girlfriends sometime, so they can get to know each other.

>>17925652
[X] Something else
Lycheria meets Kaleshi

[x]ra'al testing out her new transformation powers

[ ] Last stand of a Vindicare
its just one of those things

rolled 12 = 12

[X] Partridge Quest: The GLORYING

>>17925647

>>17925652
>[X] Continue with Max for now
We really should finish the ork part

>>17925652
Eight.

We have to do it eventually.

After that, DEldar Pilotbro, we never heard how he ended up.

[ x] Continue with Max for now, karen needs some inquisitorial attention

yeah eight we need to put the sobering in the middle not the end

>>17925647
I like the idea of doing something sweet for Esh.
Let's get her some good cooking materials. Fresh fish, maybe?

>>17925738
THIS, THIS, A THOUSAND TIMES THIS.

Seriously. We've been romancing the fuck out of Karen, but have we fuck the romance out of her yet?

>>17925702
sure, why not. let's see her rape the fuck out of pirate town, we need some quality huehuehue anyway

eight or mika & lycheria's fun day

Something about the quiet of the forest in the evening is alluring. Perhaps something primeval in man itself, perhaps just because it reminds me of a place I once knew so long ago now.

I'd expected Max to argue, naturally. Hell, even I know what that letter meant. I knew, in the back of my mind, that it was unlikely I was ever going to return.

A point I discovered, within myself, that I was fine with. I knew the target wasn't really me, they don't care about lost assassins. They don't have to. Eventually something in our blood runs out, and we pass on naturally. I'd felt the weakness coming off in the distance for a while now.

So when I'd found the data concerning my suspicions, upon that vile corpse, I knew what had to be done. I can't let them kill Max off, in a heartbeat, before he ever stood a chance. Not if this crazy plan has any hope of budding into a new life for this universe, not if I can put a stop to anyone forced into this life of ends.

No. If destiny needed a sacrifice for this to all fall into place, I willingly give myself.

So I'd given him that envelope, and I'd made him take it. It gives me some kind of solace to know I'd left it in capable hands.

They wouldn't be expecting me. That I know. I would have expired already had I not pilfered a vial of the stuff I'd needed from the corpse of the wretched being who had once been someone I'd once been trained by.

max and karens sexy fun times

>>17925777
Because he said that we'll get to Max later this thread anyway

>>17925812
>Max was the target, not Eight

Oh god my feels

>>17925812
In the previous thread, I said that Eight died in the dirt like a bitch.

I was wrong. He died in the dirt like a hero.

>>17925812
All my tears ;_;

>>17925812
We better bloody avenge this guy

>>17925812

I... I.. Eight.. Must.. Not.. Cry manly tears..

Too late. Papa.. You are writing god.

>MFW my captcha: "free ursoul"

The ship resides in the clearing, exactly as I'd planned it all out. Too predictable when hunting one of your own species.

Sure enough they'd placed a guard on watch. A grey old man for one such as us, perhaps even thirty five or more.

Everyone has to pee sometimes. And sometimes, you just happen to get a knife though the back when doing so. Life sucks like that.

I don't feel a thing as the blade plunges in, again and again. Blood trickles from fresh wounds, the sentry struggles and tries to cry out, but is stifled by my hand crushing his windpipe.

I'd known him, I realize as I silently lower the body. A marksman instructor, one of the few at the Ordo I'd ever felt respect for. The same one from whom I'd picked up my one bad habit.

"Sorry, old man." I whisper down to him, and a small smile greets me as he recognizes my face. I hammer my blade once through his skull to end his pain.

The satchel at my side isn't exactly run of the mill Vindicare equipment. Meltabombs aren't really our thing, but an assassin who doesn't adapt isn't much of an assassin.

My feet barely crunching the leaves blanketing the ground as I approach the ship, I pull one of the bombs out. I'd already rigged up timers and a sticky solution to get them to stay in place. Now I begin placing them, every few feet along the hull.

It would be a terrible end for those inside, that much I knew. I knew, and did not care. I hated that. Or I wanted to. I'm not even sure how I work anymore, I know the Ordo had messed with us. I was sick of knowing that.

The last bomb stuck in place, I prepare my egress.

"Not too nice of dead men to try to off those of us with a job to do, Eight."

>>17925812
Eight's shattered mind was greatly eclipsed by his enormous soul.
/salute.
Rest easy, young hero. The Emperor will know his own.

I never thought I would ever say this scincerly but, Find peace with the Emperor Eight, You have done him proud.

>I don't have the pic of uncle ben telling peter he did good, this will have to do......

"We're all dead men here."

The calm lasts a mere moment. Flashes of gunfire erupt, both of us having gone for our Exitus pistols. His mistake, I always was fast on a draw.

Plan in the gutter, I do my best to improvise.

The double tap caught the first through the chest and head, which is something I've yet to see anyone or anything survive.

But more are quickly pouring out, and I've only so much ammunition.

I dive behind the landing gear of the ship, rounds whizzing overhead and erupting sand to my sides. Popping out quickly, I deliver another salvo into yet another one I recognize.

Five left, I've counted. Five rounds in my pistol.

Focusing, I let my mind slow down everything as I steady my nerves. Another break from cover, another round through a head.

The gun battle keeps up, and I'm almost sure I've got the edge, until I spot a fateful glimmer to my left. Too late, I don't have enough time.

I whirl, and both of us fire at the same time.

Pain. I'm used to pain. I grew up on it, I was trained in it, the Ordo deadened my senses to it.

The one holding the Exitus rifle staggers, half of his head gone, before collapsing.

He was the last, I find out, as the meltabombs ignite into an inferno of metal slag. I'd made it far enough from the blast to not be consumed, but looking down at my wound... It was for naught.

I cough, blood staining my hand.

Well, I could have asked for a worse ending. Completing a last mission isn't a bad way to go.

The forest calls for me, or maybe its the blood loss. I can feel it seeping from me now, warm, running down my abdomen and legs.

So I walk. For how long and how far I don't know, but I walk until I can walk no more.

The canopy above breaks, a hole overhead where I can see the stars. I try to lay down gently, but end up collapsing. Swallowing, I taste only iron.

Oh. The stars are out. Its been a long time since I've had a chance to gaze up at them. I wonder where Catachan is, I've no knowledge of astronomy.

Already I can feel my head getting hazy, darkness growing at the edges of my vision.

An Eldar comes, maybe more, I can't be sure. She places a cigarette in my lips, a kind gesture for her to do at my weak insistence.

I look up to the sky, concerned little for the Eldar. There is no more looming threat for them, and more importantly, Max.

I smile at the thought.

"Max..." I whisper faintly, only the brigtest of stars still visible.

"I'm... I'm going home." I smile.

The sounds of the forest see me out.

I only found this thread just now Papa-N and currently reading up on the non-overtime thread. I just want you to know that you are awesome and you should feel awesome.
/Yorup-fag

>>17926057
These are no longer many tears, I'm crying like a bitch

and its time to make a drink, be back in a few

>>17926057
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlfUcnSbKDA

>>17926057
Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince...
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Thus passes VIII, Eight, a noble heart under a cold exterior.

>>17925979
Found it

What next?

>>17926096

I was not prepared for this level of feel

>>17926150
Dark Eldar Pilotbro

>>17926150
Lycheria meets Kaleshi, some humor to help soften the heartbreak

>>17926123
been trying to figure out the manga for that picture.

panty-raiding esh

>>17926078
It is indeed time for a drink. Farewell VIII.
This is good enough to break a six month sobriety for.

>>17926174
Eh, saving the big meet-up for the last thread I think.

>>17926150

get it on with Karen

>>17926176
Not a clue. Picked it up a time ago from some other thread, with no idea where it came from.

>>17926170
This

emotionally dead now, sooo... ork lovin

>>17926150
Hat-chan x Cron

>>17926176
Deadman Wonderland

>>17925994
>>17926057
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB2Ad04mukI

Max giving The Ork princess a shot of vitamin =I=

Karen time

>>17926150
-hat-chan and yanderecron
-DE taxibro
-fishwaif doing random shit with her new body, optional rape and/or boat sinking
-waifu checkings
-vect
-what's going on with the warboss n co
-what's cogbro doing now that the girls ditched him
-karen inquisitoring

>>17926215
Well. Problem solved. Thank you.

Mika and Lycheria's fun day!

rolled 3 = 3

Let's see that the big E is doing.

>>17926250
Actualy I like this better
>Seawaif doing random shit with her new body, optional rape and/or boat sinking
Save Karen lovemaking tiem for next thread.

"Parker!" Vect barks gruffly to welcome the newcomer into his study.

"No. Kyle."

"Kyle? What kind of name is that?" Vect asks, chewing on his cigar.

"My name, sir."

"And you're a Dark Eldar? That isn't a very Dark Eldarish name son."

The pilot sighs, he had grown to expect this. Despite this being his fifth or so meeting with the big man.

"Whatever. Anyways Parker, Parker told me you're someone I should consider letting run this place."

"Kyle. You already did that."

Vect frowns, looking up from his newspaper. He scowls at Parker, these fucking kids these days and their rap music...

"So why are you here?" He finally sighs, ashing his cigar in an ornate ebony tray.

"Didn't I already... Never mind. The Imperium of man wants to ally with us."

Vect looks down at his newspaper again, reaching out for his coffee mug.

"Tell them no, bad for the newspaper business."

"Sir if I may..."

"Fine, but we get 75%! and that's our final offer!" Vect pounds his desk.

"Right, I'll pass that on..." Kyle bows and swiftly exits the office.

I feel that Max should learn of Eight's fate from the Emperor.

>>17926298
thank you papa you and tequila just picked me up

>>17926337
>try to make rum and coke
>ice is nice and clear
>glass spotless
Things are going well

>coke is flat
>takes all of remaining rum to make on drink
>rum is gone
Abandon all hope

>>17926353
Ouch. I'd share the bottle of rum I have in the house, but honestly, I'd probably need a shipping address.

>>17926365
Don't worry, I saved the last of my Makers Mark just for tonight.

>>17926353
BAD END

>>17926353
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JImcvtJzIK8

>>17926410
And there it is... I just knew. I /knew/ somebody would paste something Cap'n Jack related, featuring that phrase.

Inevitable.

>>17926443
and i was trying to hold that off, in fear of being beaten

>>17926449
I'd thought about posting something similiar too... but then I had second thoughts.

You and Karen turn to head back toward the Ork camp. This time you tell her to take it easy on the crazy speedfreak stuff, your legs and arms have yet to forgive you for earlier.

Thankfully she obliges, and the ride back is perhaps half as fast and furious as the ride out. Though a tanned, bald man in an ancient Terran car tries to race you along the way.

The Ork camp is dying down by the time you arrive. Apparently the filming is over, as the Orks are now packing the last of the set up. They give you funny looks as you enter, and some of them mutter under their breath. About some humie git bein wif da princess, though you can't hear them.

The film crew who had planned to document your second raid look rather miffed at being left in the dirt. Apparently their trukks hadn't come close to being able to keep up with Karen's souped up monstrosity.

Though their mean stares quickly soften as Karen apologizes. Apparently all of them have a soft spot for her. You aren't sure if you will ever understand that. As far as you knew, Orks were all about getting killy and making waagh.

Progress though the camp seems good, you have a feeling tonight is going to go well. Screw the xeno haters the Imperium is made of, you are having a great time with this female Ork and you intend to keep it that way.

That is, until, the Warboss steps into your path.

"Its toime ta rokk, ya git!" He grins, shoving a guitar into your hands.

"What? Again?"

"Oi! Jus anotha song an you can git back ta bein a git!"

"Fine." You shoulder the guitar strap. The cord of your guitar only extends halfway to the nearby amps, before snaking off and ending at a pile of shredded tires. But when you pluck a string, sound reverberates from the system. Damn Orks and their nonsensical technology...

Before you can gripe, the Warboss takes the lead.

>>17926478
BIG DAKKA

GITS, GROTS, AND DEAD 'ARD BOYZ, I GIVE YOU: MOTORHEAD!!!


http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x86qes_mad-max-tribute-motorhead-ace-of-sp_shortfilms

>>17926353
i feel you i finished my tequila making my drink albeit it was 1/3 of a fifth in a 32 oz drink but...

>>17926478
yes, Yes, YES!
SLAANESH SINGS THROUGH US!

damn you papa, i gotta go to pt in 4 hours. DAMN YOU!

>>and goodnight papa, thanks for the fun tonight

>>17926536
Night to anyone that has to go, sorry for keeping you all awake. We still got plenty of boyz in da thread? Don't want errybody to have to catch up via archive.

Sorry Papa, but Iv'e got a bus to catch at 8:00 good night

Heck yes!

>>17926553
i'm here, i've caught up!

>>17926496
>as requested a few threads back

Waagh on da vox, dakka on da holo
Imperial man take what he can, shooty on da silva screen
Krumpin em up and choppan em down, living out a fantasy
There’s a big boss ridin ‘round in a big black looted trukk
Don’t let it be wrong, don’t let it be right
Get outta da way git, ur roight in ‘iz soights

Big dakka
Big dakka
Numbah whan
Big dakka

Big dakka krump da zog outta ya
Necrons, flash makas, shootin up hollywood
Vindicares alive wif da flashy bitz, getting off an doin rought bad
If you izn’t smart, dey’ll eat ya up, chop off ya bitz as dey do

The song comes to a grating halt as the Warboss furiously rips his guitar right off of it's strap.

"Oi! You lousy grots! Git yer filthy 'ands off a me trukk!" He takes the guitar and wings it hard at a group of gretchin crawling around a particularly large and spiky trukk.

It sails brilliantly through the air, before slicing a gretchin in half at chest level. The others panic, and break into a scattered run as the Warboss bounds after the rest.

"Well... That was... Fun?" You shrug.

"Sure, never mind that. I haven't had you to myself in forever and its just getting annoying now." Karen folds her arms, peers at her father, and then snatches your hand.

LESS MUKKIN ABOUT
MORE ROKK

Hmm. I am torn between Punk and Metal...

For Punk, I'd suggest the Offspring, maybe Bad Habit
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wMa_t5cBgY
or Staring at the Sun...
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNZooFfxW48&feature=endscreen&NR=1

And for Metal... well, I'm up for suggestions.
Maybe Iron Man?
Or if that doesn't work, Savage?

rolled 6 = 6

>>17926553
I'm good to go, sleep is for the weak anyways.

>>17926553
I need to leave for school soon to. It's been a hell of a ride.

Thank god I don't have class til 12. This boy iz still ready ta rock.

>>17926564
>ork woman decides it's sex time
yes ma'am

>>17926564

yes. Yes! YES!

>>17926568
>the Offspring

can't go wrong there

>>17926568
Welp, too late, ah well. (Sauce on the song Big Dakka though. It's late and I'm not able to put 2 and 2 together.)

Anyways, tally ho, time to see what Karen wants.

>>17926564
yess

for metal bolt thrower any of their songs (for those who dont know 40k based metal band)

>>17926568
Oo. Bad Habit is good. Very good. VERY Orky.

>>17926596

Big Gun - ACDC

>>17926596
AC/DC Big Gun

>>17926564
> I haven't had you to myself in forever and its just getting annoying now
Are you trying to tell us something papa?
It's not like we get easily distracted or something...

>>17926626
yeah we totally don't.

so when do we see fishwaif being some sort of evil tentacle siren with her new body?

Karen stops to peek around corners, eying other orks as they mukk about, pulling you quickly along when she thinks they aren't looking.

"Hey, not that I mind, but why are we being sneaky like?" You ask in a hushed tone at another stop.

"Huh? Well, no reason really... But some of these boyz might get a tad bit... Well, more jealous if they see me take you into my own tent."

"Oh. OH."

"Yeah."

You notice Karen's cheeks are a bit flushed, the pink on her green features is a dead give away.

At long last, after at least a dozen stops to check for a clear coast, you've arrived. The tent is far larger than the boyz huts, and set apart from them as well. Lining the outside, standing guard, are dozens of turrets.

"Don't worry, I already programmed you in as a "do not kill", they won't shoot." Karen smirks, noticing your hesitation to approach.

Sure enough (though you inch along slowly), the turrets do not turn you to giblets and armor flakes. You sigh in relief, that would have been a bad way to go.

"Come on, hurry up!" Karen grins, tugging harder.

You aren't about to keep the princess waiting, and let her lead you on inside. The interior of the tent is, at least by Orkish standards, lavish. Carpet lines the floor, plush pink rugs covering much of it. You even notice a bathroom through an open curtain.

"Wow, nice place you've got here." You marvel, lightly touching the pink netting above the bed.

"Pink?" You turn to her with an evil grin, "An Ork with a pink accented room?"

A shirt to the face quaffs your teasing.

"Oh quiet, you. I'm going to take a shower, why don't you just take a seat on the bed or something? You can flip on the viewscreen if you'd like."

You pull the shirt off of your face, noticing it actually smells rather... Nice?

Karen steps through the curtain into the bathroom and draws it shut before you can add anything more.

>>17926674
Yeah, /tg/ doesn't get distrac... Sorry, something shiney over there. What was I saying?

want long legged green princess

...is the Warboss going to come looking for us because we ducked out on his duel?
Just a grot-thought.

wait, orks didn't have a concept of gender until she showed up

how does ork know what sex is?

shed power armor!
stretch out on bed and start playing with your gun!
.

.

the dakka one on his arm, of course

>>17926683
Flip on the viewscreen. See if we are on TV

>>17926688
Something about shiney stuff?

Though you'd thought to give the books lining a shelf near the closed entryway a look, that train of thought is abruptly derailed.

Karen flips on a light inside the bathroom, and in an instant you notice one thing. The fabric of those walls is fairly thin on the shower side, which is closest to the bed, and you can see her figure almost perfectly through them.

Which means, much to your Inquisitor's interest, that you can more or less make out everything. Like Karen slowly unstrapping her belt, and lowering her shorts.

"Emprah preserve me..." You whisper inaudibly as you continue to watch.

"Hey!" Karen calls through the fabric, and you stiffen, thinking she'd heard you.

"You umm... Can take of your armor, if you'd like." She says, the embarrassment in her voice carrying through.

"I would, but it's really easier to get on myself and tough to get off without help." You admit.

"Oh." The Ork princess comments, and you can't help but notice the outline as she slips her thong and tosses it into a bin. "I'll help you after I'm done, then."

"That would be..." She pulls her sportsbra over her head and your words get jumbled in your throat as you watch a very noticeable bounce. "Fine." You finish throatily.

The sound of the shower starting fills the tent, but you can barely perceive it. Your other senses, it seems, have lent their power entirely to your eyes. And oh, do your eyes need it now more than ever.

Karen steps gently into the shower, which only causes her outline to grow more distinct. She lets her hair down out of it's ponytail, and even through the curtain you can see it is rather curly, like waves cascading downward... Right to her tight butt.

Your jaw is practically on the floor by now, you are visibly drooling, you don't frankly care at this point.

>>17926753

we'll have to enjoy this.

FOR HAT-CHAN!

>>17926753
HNNNNNNNNNNNGG

Your Inquisitor protests at the unwelcome pressure of the armor's codpiece, and under any other circumstance you may have found that quite uncomfortable. Now, however, you can barely perceive it.

Karen pulls her hair back as the water flows over it, running her fingers through the lush tangle. You are on the edge of the bed, leaning as far forward as the position allows.

Leaning down, her back toward you, she pumps what you guess to be shampoo into her hand. Standing back up, she runs it through her hair, so, so slowly.

Leaving it for now, you notice her lean down again and pick up a cloth. Another few pumps of another bottle, and she's begun to wash her body. Even through the curtain its easy to tell she's absolutely athletic. But not some muscle beast that Imperial women tend to think they will become if they work out, more like a body sculpted to the perfection of form.

You can only sit and watch, utterly mesmorized, as something as simple as a girl showering gets you more worked up than you could have ever imagined.

As she at long last closes the valve to the shower, you have only one thought. You don't want it to end.

A thought quickly forgotten when she draws back the curtain and steps out into the larger room once more.

Karen stands before you, luscious dark hair dripping, all of her dripping. Encased only in a short fluffy pink towel.

She must have noticed you staring, because her face cheeks are only burning more and more red, her eyes avoiding you as her legs mull awkwardly.

"So umm... Want me to help get that armor off?" She finally asks.

"Yes ma'am!" You almost shout, standing up immediately.

>>17926753

>>17926820
MFW I miss the last 3 threads....

Anyway, enjoy your Oiler, papa?

>>17926820

I am going to go with Messerschmidt Blowjob here because I cannot find a reaction image that adequately describes my HNNNNNNNNGG

>>17926886
Just go for something like this?

>>17926886
>>17926886
How's this one?

Gentle green fingers run over the hard ceremite plates as Karen searches for the releases. You try to guide her along, but only give her faint clues. Watching her its almost too cute to want it to end.

With a small hiss, the last piece is removed. Damn, you think to yourself, damn why can't you be wearing TWO suits of armor?

"Do you... Need a shower?" She asks quietly, her eyes averted despite you still being quite clothed.

"I don't think so? The armor has some cooling mechanisms, and stuff..." In truth, you can barely form words. Where your brain is getting the power to actually speak from, you are unsure.

"Can you do the rest?" Karen asks, before climbing briskly onto the bed, and burrowing into the sheets.

"Uh, yeah."

Her back to you, you let the last of your clothing drop to the floor. You notice a pink towel on the ground at the side of the bed.

Not knowing what else to do, you carry out the only logical course of action your brain can come up with, and slip into the sheets beside the princess.

"So umm... I don't really know the rest... I've only read one Terran romance novel and it kinda... Ends, right about now." She says, her face pressed into a pillow.

Gently, you pull her over to face you. Her eyes are locked on your own now, her face still flush and her breath excited.

Leaning in, you lock your lips to her own plush set of pink ones. And Emprah, does it feel good.

Karen seems to be getting the hang of it after several moments, her hands wrapping around to grab onto your back as you slide on top of her.

She gasps as you break off and start back, drawing the blankets over you as you work your way down.

"Max, I don't... AHHH!?"

The sensation of your lips meeting her other pair causes her hips to jump and she grabs your head in shock.

"Relax." You tell her reassuringly. Despite your words, you can still feel the energy poised nervously in her body.

>>17926924
Wut wiz gunna do on the bed boss?

With every lick, a gasp. With every kiss, a moan.

Her hands are still in your hair, only now looser and rubbing your scalp slightly. You may be pretty dense when it comes to some things, but you have a knack for this kind of stuff.

After a long while of preparation, you throw back the covers and unveil your prize.

Karen lays panting slightly on the pink sheet, slightly dampened by the water that remained on her body from her hasty drying. Her breasts rise with each quick breath, and her eyes remain locked in hard on your own.

"Ah... Don't... Stop?" She almost asks, entirely unsure of herself.

You grin, though to reassure her rather than tease. Your inquisitor eyes the breech, consults with the astropaths, and decides entry into the warp is safe.

Karen gasps as you slowly push forward, her hands grabbing your hips and squeezing quite hard. You don't have to guess hard that she's new to this, you know enough about Orks to know they lack any... Tools.

So you take your time, responding to her body as hers does to your own. For several minutes that pass in an eternity, until you come to rest in base to base combat.

"OH YEAH! GIMME DAT CHOCOLATE COMMISSAR!"

Karen rubs it all over herself.

"Cum for me Max!!!"

You jettison a massive load of plasma that could extinguish a small star.

"Uhhnnn, yeah! Imma rub my cum in yo dakka bitch!"

>>17926999
o_0

>>17926999
for shame papa n

i was expecting futa

>>17926999
>quest for chocolate

>>17926999

>>17926999

>>17926999
Style's too different. Either the Imposter-N or a feinted troll...

rolled 19 = 19

>>17927025
Rollan, just for you.

wow....

>>17927045
>doesn't check the trip

"You can, uh. Move now, I think." Karen says after several long moments of rest.

"You sure?" You ask, noticing a small trickle of blood.

"I'm sure." She smiles, gently clasping your side.

So you start to move. Immediately finding yourself on the edge. It may have been due to the show through the curtain, or how she took your armor off. Either way, its all you can do to hang on.

"Tankred... Endures..."

"Huh?" She asks, you halfway through a thrust.

"Err... Nothing."

Karen's moans pick up, louder and only more passionate as you increase your speed. You find yourself making quite a bit of noise as well. Though you certainly got her prepared with your oral abilities, she's got you gripped like a vice. A wet, warm, incredible vice.

Karen's fingernails are almost painful as they dig into your skin, and her clamped eyes and wide mouth combined with that tell you that you are doing well, young padawan.

Reaching out, you cup one of her breasts for a moment, enjoying the bouncing soft orb. Quickly you return it to its place beside her hips, needing the support, and the sensation almost causing you to detonate the krak missile early.

"I'm... I don't know this feeling... What... Ahh? Ahhhh!!!!" Her hands grab you hard and her hips drive up to meet your own. You keep up the pace, riding through her climax. You can't stop now, this is bat country and you have a package to deliver.

Your instincts cut short as she pushes you away quickly, your Inquisitor quite annoyed as it leaves it's tight hideout.

>>17927066
Haven't you read the thread? Trip was compromised a while back.

>>17925482
>>17925454
>That's my old trip, which I accidentally compromised.

>Whoever it is, I implore you to not derail this...

>>17927121

I'd do a proper check, but i'm too lazy, so i'll just stick to my tea and see what happens

>>17927121
>Doesn't check the trips either
>>17926980
>>17926999
It's the same trip and the hijacked trip is different than these two. You fail your spot check. Rock falls, you die.

"S-sorry!" Karen gasps, out of breath, "I know it may seem dumb, but I don't know if humans and... Well... I'm not ready to be a mom yet... Ah sorry, this is so stupid of me." She claps her hands to her face.

Her fingers peel open to reveal one of her eyes as you laugh, starting quietly and growing until it fills the whole tent.

"Don't worry, I get it." You tell her kindly. Karen still looks a bit perplexed.

"Umm... I could, you know. Use my mouth, maybe?" She asks, looking to you for guidance.

"Yeah, I'd like that." You smile, giving her long hair a single stroke.

Karen leads you off of the bed, and kneels awkwardly until her face is level with your flagship.

"Hmm..." She gives it a look, tilting her head SHAFT style as she does so.

"Its cute!" She finally smiles, before gently placing her lips around it. You nearly let loose the exterminatus right then and there.

Karen gingerly takes more of it in, though you wince and have to let her know to avoid her canines as she tries to pick up the pace.

The whole while she looks up at you with those innocent eyes illuminated by the lighting above. You twitch, and she must sense you're getting close.

"N-not inside?" She tells you, garbled by the current predicament.

"Gotcha." You manage to gasp.

She quits mukkin about and gets back to work, and work she does. You try to hold out, to hold the line as you were taught in the guard, but there is just no way.

You are at the peak, and this time you can't stop yourself. Though when you try to pull away...

Karen has you gripped hard around the waist, not allowing you to remove your powersword. You can tell just by the look in her eyes that she's grinning as you finally relinquish your plasma onto her tongue, which runs eagerly up the shaft of the blade.

She holds you there for several moments, until your hips stop twitching, your expression a mixture of heavenly pleasure and pure exhaustion, before finally releasing her grip.

"I thought you might like that, maybe?" She asks, her voice a bit off, before swallowing with a strange expression.

"Bitter." She giggles, screwing up her face.

You mutter something unintelligible, before falling backwards onto the bed.

>>17927153
... okay. Let me rephrase that in a way you understand. This current trip, the one in use, as far as my understanding, and the otherstanding of others in the thread, the trip that just posted, the one we are talking about...
Has possibly been compromised.
>>17925454
>>17925378
>>17925350
This is in addition to the other, false trips, for a total of three imposters, one of whom may actually have the current trip.

Also, if Papa-N could please confirm/de-confirm... that'd probably settle the whole issue.

>>17927182
he quoted himself as a joke, duh

You barely notice as she steps into the bathroom to brush her teeth and gargle mouthwash. Or when she walks back out and helps you into a better position on the bed.

"That was... Incredible." You tell her.

"Hmm? I thought so, too." She says sweetly, rubbing your head, which causes your eyes to close.

Without even realizing it, you've slipped off into dreamland.

"Kirby? The fuck are you doing here? This is Warhammer and you are neither grim nor dark."

"Bitch I swallow things whole, steal their power, and fight the most powerful beings in my known universe all while being pink. I OWN grim and dark."

>the troll post was me, guys. Couldn't find the KS comic to go along with it though

>>17927185
...
...
... I wouldn't put it past him to do that... hell, I wouldn't put it past him to pretend that a bunch of his old trips got stolen, now that I think about it...