I have no fucking idea what Ian wants.

>>17690122
Ian you crafty mother fucker.

>>17690122
he has the hots for a homocidal bitch who attempted to kill you.

just ignore his ass hes an idiot.

wait, did they make her do the laundry?

oh lord Ian what are you up too.

Isolated, prim and proper girl.

FAHSANDS of boy briefs.

Do the math.

>>17690122

I am sensing a parade of pants on a line.

>>17690169
>>17690150
My guess is there are many people without pants because they are all in the laundry.

>>17690195

we'd have seen that right?

or did we roll 1 for perception?

>>17690122
Perrine seems distressed. Should we not, as members of her unit, ask her what her problem is? Loudly and Pointedly? In the middle of the O-Club?

>>17690122

"So you're telling me she just checked the base laundromat and found every pair of pants not being worn jammed into a washing machine."

"We had to stand on top of a few to cram 'em in," a mechanic on your left admits. "Just hopped up there and started dancing on 'em like they were stamping out grapes in a vinyard, haha!"

"Oh, Ian, this is why I keep you around," you say, laughing. You haven't gotten sloshed, but you HAVE had a few. "Your bouts of conscience never overstay their welcome."

"Everything in moderation," Ian says sagely, sounding very much like himself, then tilts the glass back. "Including moderation."

The party winds down and your crewmen are carried away to their quarters. You leave Perrine to fend for herself, not that she won't have plenty of eager aid, being a half-naked young woman striding around a wartime airbase full of bored young men.

You make for your barracks and waste no time in shoving everything you own (which isn't that much,) into one huge barracks bag. That done, you sit on your old cot and have a good think.

Yes, it was only a few days ago that you were sleeping here, and yes, the massive change in your life as of late is monumental and all that, but before you can sit here to ponder the meaning of it all and where your life is going, there are more pressing matters to consider.

Like all the shit you're about to steal.

>>17690221
We are in the O-Club, perrine just left and then came back.

We don't know what's happening elsewhere.

>>17690234
YES!

>>17690234
>Like all the shit you're about to steal.

GET YOU BAGS BOYS! IT'S LEWTING TIME!

>>17690234
Aviators.
Something of Paddie's.

>>17690150
>I have no fucking idea what Ian wants.

You really don't. It's canon. Ian's just smooth like that.

>>17690234
Aviators first, nobody will need them till morning and they'll all be too hungover to consider they've been stolen.

>>17690234
...maybe we should stop with the Perrine trolling for now. We're going to need her help to grab all the shit they want at the castle.

We better find some aviators to nick.

Damn the consequences!

>>17690234

get the handcuffs last we could just get caught with everything else we've stolen to get arrested then leg it with the cuffs.

>>17690234
NICK ALL THE AVIATORS

>>17690234

They're all drunk and tired, if there is anything on base on the list better jump to it. Though we do have a half naked young woman in tow, so we can use that for leverage to gain a few, more choice items.

I don't suppose we could just trade on our stratospheric reputation and simply BUY or TRADE the shit we want.

Time for light looting to check off a few items.

>>17690305

psssshhhh

>>17690305
Pilot.

>>17690265
Ian wants aviators. This should be obvious.

>>17690321
True.
>>17690317
Fair 'nuff.

>>17690305
NEVER!

>>17690314
>>17690305
Combination of these two, whatever is easier for the given items.

>>17690305
no, thats not how we roll.

we roll by doing things and not giving a fuck.

also we are made of sheer awesome when planefag isn't stepping with with having perrine being mary sue'd.

>>17690290

Why not leave her as distraction?

>>17690345
why not zoidberg?

>>17690378

What?

You consult the list of requested items from the Witches - blush, eyeliner, pantyhose, other things you can't readily get from a military PX - well, any of the rough-and-ready frontline bases, anyways. You toss it aside and pull out Minna's purloined memo pad from the inside pocket of your jacket, which contains the other list you wrote down yourself.

"Aviator sunglasses. Thirteen or fourteen pairs, at least," you say, reading aloud. "Same number of aviator-issue trousers." You made some rough guesstimates as to the Witches sizes, though that won't matter too much because of the a few-sizes-fit-none policy. Besides, Castle Barin has a tailor in residence, somewhere. You think.

"One pair of pants that actually fit," you note, "For Minna." Minna's measurements you're not worried about, you made very, very careful observations of the length of her legs and the width of her h-

"A watch," you say to yourself sharply, scribbling it down with hard strokes of the pencil. "Like mine. That's useful." You're not sure where to find one, but there's ways to address that.

You scratch your head with the pencil, thinking. Is there anything you wanted to get that is best provided by the USAF or her Majesties Royal Air Force?

>>17690392
no one remember zoidburg

>>17690399
>wat do
>fucking catchpa ate the image
>fuck catchpa these days srsly

>>17690399
We need some fucking music. Jack a phonograph and some records.

>>17690421
Seconded, let's play this loudly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ0emX5RgZQ

>>17690399
Ammo.

At some point we should do this

Lets see, we need to find:

Stethescope: have to steal, try sick bay
Hand cuffs: do they make those fuzz covered ones yet?
Fish: uhhh, BX?
Schnapps: put some feelers out with unit, promise to tell stories of drunk witches next time we drop by.
Hootch: where ever the enlisted told us to find it. Ask for schnapps while we are there
CHRONOMETER W/ ALTIMETER: BX.
Pants: whereever we pick up uniforms, probably BX.

What the hell is this? Am I coming in halfway through the story or something? Who the hell are these people? What universe is this? Why aren't all the aviators stolen yet?

>>17690447
Is that
A bomb bay full of machine guns?
For strafing?

>>17690399

Box of good ole .45 munition.

>>17690447
>obligatory sidewinder B52 mention

>>17690463
strike witches quest. archives are on suptg. basically Aliens invade earth. Earth is protected by genderbent aces who use magic and

>>17690466
Crazy Russians

>>17690432
Hells no, even Not Give a Fuck has standards.

>>17690399
spare ammo for our .45

possibly talk to Paddy about procuring some special/good boozes through his contacts?

yeah, get some ammo, if were down to a handful.

>>17690489
Sakabroto would find this hilarious.

>>17690432
What did Sakabroto and little Miyafuji do to you.

>>17690448
for handcuffs, locate MPs

Also FUCK EVERYTHING
If we EVER get a speaker system working on the base, we play this song at FULL BLAST, ALL DAY ERRY DAY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw&ob=av3n

>>17690417

ask around about whatever the hardest thing to find is gonna be. if we end up stirring stuff up we want the remaining items to be stuff we can just grab.

the schnapps i guess?

>>17690432
Dude, what the fuck?

>>17690399
Big crate of .45 ammo.
See if we can jack a tommy gun from one of the ground-pounders. Maybe see if one of the ground crew has a contact with an Army mechanic attached to a mechanized unit that might have some.

>>17690399
Been in and out of B/PXs my whole life. They have watches out the ass in all of them, from cheapo $20 plastic ones to $1200 diving watches.

>>17690526
YES!
YOU SIR ARE AWESOME!

>>17690526
>...a little bit of Erica by my side
Hehe.

yyyyyeah

>>17690535
This is a RAF/Royal Navy base, right? We have better chances of getting a Lanchester SMG.

>>17690571

>>17690583
Lend-lease bro

I've got to sleep now. Have tonight's threads been added to the archive yet?

>>17690399

First things first. You tour the barracks and retrieve all the records you loaned out and never got back, and stuff them into the hard-case and then ram that into your barracks bag, which groans miserably as its' stretched. You swing the bag over your shoulder and stroll to the flight line, where you sling it into your plane.

From there, you stop and ponder your next move. Pants. You were going to acquire - oh, right. Ian made that easy, didn't he?

You find Perrine in the laundramat, miserably picking through a pile of soaking-wet trousers piled atop a washing machine. "Excellent. Hey, Frenchie, help me sort these out."

"Frenchie?" Perrine says, snorting. "How eloquent."

"I'd call you by your proper name, but it'd sully the Queens English."

Perrine wrinkles her nose at you and turns her back.

"C'mon, you know the Witches better then I do. I need a pair to fit all of 'em."

"What? What for? We don't wear pants."

"Then what are you doing here?"

Perrine stiffens. "N-nothing."

"Having a whole squadron of men drooling over you ain't so fun when they actually start drooling ON you, is it?"

The slender girl quivers visibly.

"Biiig sloopy strings of dreeeewwwwlllllll-"

"QUIET!" she yelps, clapping her hands over her ears. "QUIET!"

"Licking their lips as they stare at your legs, oh, how naughty, she's just asking for it-"

"FINE! FINE!" Perrine says, glaring at the floor to hide her furious blush. A half-hour of wrangling and picking and a lot of snide remarks from Perrine later, you've got a dozen-plus pairs of carefully-selected legwear tumbling in a dryer.

"Now if you're done," Perrine sniffs, "I need my rest. Especially after what you put me through."

>What next?

>>17690583
Yes, but with a US Army Air Corps presence.
It's still possible we could get a tommy gun. The .45 ACP should definitely be available though, since it's the standard sidearm.

>>17690583
They didn't call the US the arsenal of democracy for no reason.

>>17690553

But did they have That One Gearfaggot in every unit in 194what the fuck am I saying of course they did.

>>17690609

>>17690527

>>17690609
>look at picture
that actually was my face when i was reading because this sounds like perfect trolling time for thw woman who keeps trying to kill you.

>>17690602
>>17690612
>>17690613
B-but look at those vent holes!

Besides, it's 9mm. .45 ACP isn't common in the Castle, as we have seen.

>"Now if you're done," Perrine sniffs, "I need my rest. Especially after what you put me through."

Does that sound dirty to anyone else?

Yesterdays thread isn't on suptg (!!!) FUCK

What happen?

>>17690655
Let's put it through her.
Again.

>>17690655
Of course it does she's french.

>>17690642
Yeah, and that's why we keep our own cache.
Our crew either also uses .45 ACP or .38.
And personally, if the Martians do another commando raid on the castle, I'd rather have .45 ACP.

The Aviator glasses you'll have trouble with, since night-fighter pilots are not issued those gee I wonder why. The RAF elements here, however, are mostly naval support and they're always flying over water in daylight.

Ammo, base armory. Harder to get into/better guarded. You could just ask for some, but then paperwork.

Booze is no problem. You Have Established Connections. Its all legal, anyways, and the engineers gave you a bankroll. Trude's booze will require some work, but you can do that in the morning no problem.

A watch depends on how much straight-up larceny you feel like/how much are you going to spend out-of-pocket on Minna. This one will probably set the pro/anti waifufags arguing. Then I will drink their tears.

>>17690655

We could put her through a few more things that would really tire her out, but we've got things to do and one of them is not upset Ian.

So lucky her, we won't ask her to help with the heavy lifting.

>>17690658
We didn't have a thread yesterday, that's what happened.

>>17690658
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/search/username/planefag/order/desc/
You're welcome.

>>17690612
Thompsons are shit, you either get the stick mags that empty too fast or a drum that has a 95% chance of jamming or misfiring. Though I do think airmen are one of the few groups who could actually use subs effectively. There just arent any good subs that exist yet.

>>17690676
Well, how much is the watch? No need for an arguments if it's well within the bankroll.

>>17690676

Anti-Waifu, we can get better waifus, so no effort, nothing that will get us in any trouble, so at that rate we'll probably procure something decent, but I hope, broken. Give her something to do in her off time, I hear repairing delicate machinery is relaxing.

>>17690676

well the armory is something probably best attempted at night since its well guarded.

tally-ho!

maybe get sean to help. since hes uhh, good at hearing stuff?

>>17690658
No yesterday thread, this is today's second.

Go here >>17686953

>>17690676
i approve of straight out stealing shit and getting away with it.
fuck the waifu fags, they seem to be white knight whores who don't look at common sense, so their arguement is invalidated by that very fact.

>>17690676

Yoink those aviators.

We're stealing enough, no need to steal ammo too when we have a perfectly legit reason.

Trude's mint schnapps must be found tomorrow!

Avoid theft. As cheap as we can go for something usable. To appease the anti/pro waifufags. It's a gift for your waifu! To the antiwaifus: it'll get us on Minna's goodside for a bit. Make things a lot smoother in the transition.

>>17690730
As a waifu fag, fuck Minna, and fuck spending money.

did we archive the last thread, by the by?

>>17690679
Well, what can her magic do? If she can get us some telekinetic five-finger discount on stuff, that would be a great help.

Then again, we would be giving her blackmail ammo if she were particularly pissed at us one day, and let's face it, she already is.

>Haven't been on /tg/ in forever
>See this

I have no idea what this is, but I want in.

>>17690699
We're commissioned, so we make bank. Its spendy, but its a war, we have job security and no use for all our money. Imo do it, using the next years allowance of fucks given for her.

A nice watch is fairly expensive, even on a pilot's salary, which isn't as bad as most.

>>17690730
I'm a pretty big white knight myself and I think that Minna can fuck right off. We'll get her a gift, but it doesn't have to be anything fancy.

>>17690749

perrines magical ability is making electricity. guess she could blow some lights?

>>17690757
Our hazard pay is positively ridiculous.

We can't bankroll a watch, we need to bankroll those Aviators and ask yourself, what is more important than Aviators?

The pilot within you should answer 'Nothing'.

>>17690676

Why not buy it. Might as well stick with some sort of relationship with Minna after interacting for that long.

>>17690767
Don't witches get paid?

>>17690750
Look up the threads on sup/tg/

I say we get the watch - for ourselves. Flaunt the fucker. CANNOT HAVE.

IF things warm up between us and Minna, get her one. IF.

>>17690767

... good point. But you sent all that home to your faaahhahahahahaha no way, this is anon's character, yeah.

I vote paperwork over stealing ammunition during wartime. Because that's just not cool. Also it might be treason maybe I'm not sure on that.
Also, buying a watch over stealing because jail would be a downer.

>>17690758
you do realize about half this group is trying to still put perrine AND minna is a good light when minna is a straight out bitch and perrine has tried to kill us multiple times because we exist.

so i think you understand why white knights really are asking to be bitchslappedjust a bit today...

>>17690676
Minna already got her fancy dress from her dead boyrfriend, just get her something cheap, but meaningful.

>>17690783

Except for Trude, I think so

>>17690799
Why except Trude?

They all get paid. Pretty damn well too.

>>17690791
White Knight here: I'm one of the people saying that Perrine needs to be sectioned, so yes, I get it.

>>17690764

So we can Splinter Cell this?

>>17690809

she seeds all her pay to her sister iirc.

>>17690824
perrine sends all of hers to the reconstruction efforts in france

>Pitch Pipe for Sanya

>>17690609
I say decent watch, nothing extravagant and most certainly. this is a peace offering, not an attempt to curry favor or anything else!

Ammo and booze should be legitimate acquisitions.... some of the rest could be easily nicked here and there....

Frenchie's an electric cat.... not going to be much help other than maybe frying the security systems....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMskjKZ4r4E&feature=related

>>17690833

not until after its liberated in season two though. thats not happened yet.

>>17690837
Aw, fuck, I forgot. Where do we even get one of those?

>>17690824
>>17690833

They both still get paid. That just happens to be what they spend it on.

I say we try and draw a few squirt guns. If thompsons are not practicable, a sten, sterling, or grease gun would work. Barring that, drawing at least one folding M1 Carbine might be good. Small enough to stash in the bird, big enough to thoroughly ventilate some aliums.

>>17690824
The word is "cedes", I just felt like informing you.
>>17690833
Including the entirety of her former fortune, but that doesn't mean she can get out of being sectioned.

Then get something fairly rare, but not too expensive and try to barter them for something better if that is possible when you return. >>17690676

>>17690676
Lets to to the PX and browse their collection of watches. Also, we can case the place.

"Glasses."

"What?"

"Aviator sunglasses. I was going to get everybody a pair."

"So you know a place that carries twelve pairs of aviator sunglasses? At this hour?"

"Yes."

Perrine glares at you. "I understand the pants, but glasses are expensive. I won't let you run around committing petty theft - or grand larceny! It's unbecoming an officer and a gentleman," she says, stating the last two titles with a dubious look on her face.

Make no mistake, she's a right accomplished snooty bitch. But she's also French - and that gives you your opening.

"We don't even have any," you say, looking at the far wall. "But the RAF contingent does."

Perrine drops the wet pants she was idly toying with.

"Quite a few. They really like them, you know. Ought to see them striding out to the flight line, real sharp looking, masters of the Channel-"

"Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you?" Perrine growls.

"Did it work?"

".... yes," she says in a low voice.

Alright, then. To the RAF quartermaster's storage.

>>17690691
If there are any Australians in this setting, see if you can get one of the Owens SMGs chambered In .45. Never jams, really compact and effective.

>>17690853

fair enough. point is they have no case available to buy shit.

and for my bit
[x]cheapest watch we can get with it still being a peace offering and not an insult.
I mean, we gotta have at least a decent relationship with da CO but minna route holds no particular appeal

also, for what do right now, lets go fill out some ammo paperwork, eh? stealing bullets during a war is not highly reguarded i suspect.

>>17690862
ahem, 'sends'.

>1944
>Not building Minna an intricate watch from the splintered fragments of a Helvetian Federal Councillor's left shin bone lacquered to a hardened state with varnish derived from the finest Thai shellac.

>>17690676

Weeeell, the way I see it. Getting her the real deal has certain benefits, particularly if we get her a really nice present it's sort of throwing in her face that we are a maybe, but then we can justify it to ourselves as a matter of being all in or nothing.

That is, we don't fuck about with gifts. We do it right not because we care about them, but because we are top dog in everything. Eitherway, it'll throw up a huge smoke screen for later shenanigans and keep everyone guessing, including Sakamoto who thinks she has us figured out.

Not even a Minna fag, but if we're doing this watch thing we do it right then use it as leverage to get all her unit in pants and teaching them what real pilots are like. Who knows, maybe once we're done they'll have their own Officer club and will bounce Night Pilots all on their own with a measure of bravado and balls.

I also think giving the waifu fags something to hope for will be nice, because it'll make their tears better when we inevitably hook up with Charlotte or Sakamoto, you know, girls who actually have figure and sense.

>mfw eating spam right now
Before we do anything else, we get as many cans of SPEM as we and Perrine can carry.

Afterwards, snag some ammo for the .45

>>17690889

bwahahaha frogs and cockroaches the eternal war.

>>17690889
>It's unbecoming an officer and a gentleman

>>17690889
Well fucking played.

>>17690896

cash*

goddamnitsomuch.

i need to pick a keyboard layout and stick with it.

So, consensus time

Watch:
Yes, cheap/reasonable
No
Steal

Gun:
Use availible 9mm
.45 ACP ammo
Another gun

Myself, cheap watch and 9mm

Did I see witches with pants?

I don't believe this.

>>17690899
This. If we do something, do it right. A good gift means we have -leverage.-

Reasonable and .45.

Will we ever get to see Eila or Lynette

>>17690899
I like the way you think!

>>17690940
Watch: good and reasonable.

Ammo:
.45

Forgot this was in my Strike Witches folder.

>>17690970

Stig just about broke everything that can be done in universe

how many bombers could we fit into a bomber's cargo bay?

>>17690899
>you know, girls who actually have figure and sense.
Minna's ass son, my god that fucking ass.
Anyway, I agree with the Sakabroto plan.

>>17690970

GASP! ... Well. Now I have to change my pants.

>>17690889

All that noise about British Tea-Time and stiff upper lips aside, the RAF portion of the base is as staggeringly drunk as the USAF bit - a good party respects no national boundaries. There's still the odd chap who actually has flight duty or something like that tomorrow, so you do have to look sharp and take to the bushes occasionally.

"Boost me up," you say to Perrine underneath the window of the RAF warehouse.

"Oh no you don't," Perrine says, a look of unholy glee entering her eyes. "You boost ME up."

You oblige. As you thought, she weights almost nothing, and even with her perched on your shoulders you're not unduly strained.

"Damn, it's got a lock on it."

You reach for your back pocket, retrieve your essential equipment, and tap a bolt-cutter against Perrine's legs.

"Where did you get that?"

"Out of a locked cabinet," you say to add mystery to things.

She emits the sigh of the long-suffering, and a second later a snipped padlock bounces off your shoulder. You admire Perrine's cute little fanny and legs as she squirms into the window above you.

You hear footsteps approaching from behind. You glance left and right, but there's no obvious hiding spots.

>Hide
> Aggress
>Lie your ass off

>>17690940
Watch: reasonable (it's a peace offering, looking like a cheep sake will defeat the point)

Gun: .45 ACP >>17690899

Watch: Reasonable.

Need ammo and squirtguns. If no ammo, we need to procure a 9mm handgun. Either a High Power or a P1.

>>17690970
...those girls need helmets. NOW.

>>17690940

Watch: Cheap/reasonable

Gun: .45 ACP ammo

>>17690970

we're doing this bro, we're making it happen.

>>17691007
Pretend to be drunk and taking a leak.

>>17691007
>Lie your ass off

>>17691007
Lie your ass off. Acting more drunk than we are might work.

>>17691007
!
>Aggress
Pretend you're a drunk obnoxious American! They don't know any other kind, so you'll be fine!

And be loud enough that Perrine knows to keep her French head down until the danger passes.

>>17691007

lie. lie like a boss.

also, lie loudly so perrine knows not to stick her head out.

>>17691007

Have a cattle prod?

If not, then fake the worst Scouse accent possible

"I'm pissing on the side of this monument, officer, what are you doing? What? Why here? Because it's better than inside, silly!"

AND HIDE THE SNAPPED PADLOCK

>>17691007
>>17691028
This, loudly so Frenchie knows to keep her head down.... don't need to have our loot-getter captured! That would compromise the mission!

>>17691007
Climb!

>>17691007

Combine our boorish american powers with Perrine's snooty french powers.

Suptg is moving like a snail for me, but it looks like today's threads aren't archived. Somebody with a good connection needs to get in there.

[x] Lie

Fixin the lock and stuff 'ere boss

>>17691044
This.

I haven't a clue what a scouse accent sounds like but this ideas sounds hilarious.

cant attack a fellow soldier. cant ditch a sister thief. LIE

>>17691007

Drop Perrine to the floor, pin her to the wall and prepare to lie our asses off and hope the rumor mill isn't as active here.

And this gentlemen... is how we get the handcuffs

>>17691007

Act drunk and act like you're pissing. Ain't nobody gonna mess with a drunken man as he pees against the side of a building.

So. We have the 45 and 38 ammo. There will be troops there that will have that themselves. Finding them will take a few questions, but is likely doable. Bartering with them may be a bit more difficult. Same for the good booze.

Pitch whistle is worth asking around for, but we'll either find it or not. Might at least be able to find some passable workarounds for it though.

We may have to raise funds to get a decent watch, unless we want to trade away something. Semi-major bets of things we don't want to lose may also work. We may be able to pull in a favor from Perrine after she works with us on getting the aviators if its just for making good with Minna.

We probably really shouldn't use gambling to raise funds. At worst, a few bluffs and casual bets for very small things to supplement our stuff. We can probably trade on our reputation at least a little bit.

Theft in the sense of making off with a few pairs of pants or a few aviator glasses is fine. Heavily stacked bets to supplement booze and some personal ammo is fine. Theft of the pitch whistle, the watch, or good booze is not.

>>17691076
Suptg is down for some reason

>>17691096
Yes.

>>17691096
Oh boy...

FakeoutMakeout will not go over well with her...

Although with the way planefag describes Frenchy all the time, he might enjoy it!

>>17691103
For the ammo, let's just do the paperwork.
It's fucking pain, but at least we don't have to spend money on it.

Just start actually pissing. Nobody will EVER suspect a thing.

>>17690960
But neither of those are sion.

Also this guy was the best German ace in the North Africa theater, and he dies because of engine failure.

lol germany

>>17691103
We have money to buy things though. Quite a bit of it. And we can just request ammo.

>>17691118

Makeout and make grouchy Scouse accents in a drunken tone.

>make out with Frenchie
BUT SHE'S HALFWAY THROUGH THE WINDOW
Jeez.
Shove her the rest of the way, and [x] lie. Loudly.

>>17691148
>>17691118

We don't need make-outs. She's already inside.

>inb4 its Ian or Sean

>>17691183
Make out with her ass. You're drunk and she's magic, you ain't gotta explain shit.

>>17691126
sion?

>>17691205
We're not THAT drunk

>>17691215
They don't know that.

You put your foot on top of the cut padlock and press it into the soggy ground just as a flashlight beam hits you full in the face.

"What are you doing here, Yank?"

You blink against the light, scowling fiercely at your accuser. "Who the hell are you?"

"Somebody who can make your life really tough if you talk smart, Yank. What are you doing, lurking around the warehouse?"

"Looking for my damn flashlight."

"What the wh- oh. Fucking Yanks don't know how to talk."

"Well don't stand there, help me find it. I dropped it somewhere around here."

"Wouldn't it be easy to find if it was on?"

"No shit, thanks for the unique observation," you growl at what you assume is a British MP. Whatever they call them. Commissioned Bobby? You don't know. "It wasn't working, anyways. I was shaking it to punish the little people inside when it flew out of my hand."

The man sighs, but his light doesn't waver from your face. "Okay, go ahead and look."

You sigh, and get down on your hands and knees in the boggy, damp grass, making a big show of patting about.

"Hey, what's that?"

Sweet fuck, the man's flashlight - ah, torch - has found the glint of the padlock's steel.

So, any more votes on the watch/gun issue?

4 votes to get more .45 ammo and get a not-expensive watch, 2 votes cheap watch and/or 9mm ammo.

>>17691205
>>17691234
But then we're left with the question of what she's doing stuck halfway through a window that was, until moments ago, locked.

>>17691126

Well Rommel is in town, so you just might!

Extra points if she bumps into Clive Cadwell.

>>17691244
Shitting fucks. Uh...wow. We're boned.

>>17691253
Locked with a padlock that's been conveniently cut out of the way.

AND THAT NOW HAS BEEN SPOTTED BY A BRIT GUARD

ALERT ALERT ALERT

>>17691244
Initiate vomiting.

The puke will distract him

>>17691244
>Sweet fuck, the man's flashlight - ah, torch - has found the glint of the padlock's steel.

Start talking fast and if that doesn't work, knock him out before he can call for help

>>17691244

awwww hell. book it. put our heels to the wind and SKIP this cutscene.

>>17691244
Welp

>>17691269
USE STUN ROD.

NO NO NO NO

WE ARE NOT CLOBBERING A BLOODY MP.

We are LYING.

This is what we DO.

>>17691292
Agreed.

>>17691244
Pokerface. Oh god please pokerface.

If that doesnt work, knock him out.

>>17691244

QUICKLY grab it, oh its just my keys, good thing you were here otherwise I'd be locked out of my jet, now help me find my torch

>>17691306
hitting an MP is a bad bad idea.

>>17691292
Yeah seriously, beating a MP is a good way to get in a fuckton of trouble.

>>17691244
Hmm. Assaulting an officer would be a baaaad idea. Running away would leave Perrine trapped inside.
What we need now is a Martian assault.

>>17691279
>>17691279
[ X ] VOMIT

"No fucking clue. You going to help me look or what?"

Pokerface the shit out of him. We know nothing of this.

>>17691316


If worst comes to worst
We say we were sneaking in to get some nookie with frenchy

Induce vomiting. Act belligerent. Do everything possible to get the MP to leave.

When frenchie shows her face again, tell her she owes us one.

Knocking a fucking MP out is going to land us in a metric fuckton of shit.

Hm. Do we HAVE a flashlight? Pick up the padlock before he realizes what it is, juggle some shit and go OH LOOK THE FUCKER WAS HALF BURIED IN THE MUD THANKS FOR NOTHING.

Or puke on it.

>>17691325
Call him over, and say:

"Hey man, between you and me, I need about 10 minutes alone."

Pray to whatever god we believe in that his torch, which are still pretty unreliable in this day and age, quits.

If that fails, commence operate LIE LIKE A DOG

Get in between the MP and the lock and start cursing about how you must have stomped your flashlight into the mud
>at this point unhook our own flash light and roll it around in the mud while picking up the padlock and sliding it down the cuff of our sleeve

...We do have a flash light right? ...right?

>>17691337

this could work

>>17691325
This could also be a good idea.

>>17691244
>apropos of nothing, but what the hell is Sanya saying in this picture, it's always bugged me

You reach out and pick up the padlock, turning it over in the flashlight beam.

"Swell fucking job, flatfoot," you sneer, tossing it at the man wielding the torch. "Where the hell were you when THAT happened?"

"How do I know it wasn't-"

"Because I don't have any bolt-cutters, I'm not ten feet high, and I get so much hazard pay I could bribe the supply sergeant to slip me anything I wanted anyways. Duh. Besides, you can see the footprints of the actual crook right there." You point at the barely-visible footprints left by Perrine's dainty feet. "Small guy. Probably a turret gunner or mechanic."

The torch-wielding voice sounds dubious. "But your prints-"

"-are much deeper, see, dumbass? Ground is all spongy. The fact that those are still there probably mean they were left last night. Rained, didn't it?" This is an easy bet, since there's rarely a night it doesn't at least drizzle at Eastchurch, especially in the spring.

"So?"

"So your thief already left and you fucking *Limeys* didn't see shit," you say with satisfaction, mildly amazed you haven't gotten your shit kicked in yet. You reach into your jacket pocket. "You might even say your crook..." you produce your own pair of aviators from your pocket and put them on, "got away clean."

With the glasses shading your eyes, you get your first good look at the man holding the torch.

"You cheeky motherfucker."

>>17691244
So, potentially, we could end up turning against Perrine or this presumed RAF MP. We don't approve of everything she does by a long shot, but abandoning her is beyond dick move. Attacking the MP is quite possibly an even worse idea. So. Misdirection. Preferably, a way that sends him off none the wiser, but I don't imagine we'll manage that short of him being distracted by something more major and an incredible bluff on our part. So some way that lets us head around with the MP to further misdirect him while not getting him to call in other MPs may be the better choice. We can possibly hope Perrine will work magic in our favor, which could enable the first, or make the second easier.

And I have no idea how to implement any of these, aside from perhaps convincing them that someone already ran off stumbling drunk, perhaps thinking they were somehow breaking into their own room before the slightly more sober you disabused them of that notion. Not sure how that'd actually help us though.

>>17691350
It's fucking Sean, isn't it?

>>17691350
>but what the hell is Sanya saying in this picture

http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=342991

>>17691350
Did we bring a shovel? Because we're digging ourselves a hole.

>>17691350

>>17691369

It's Luke.

>>17691350
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

>>17691376
Isn't luke american?

>>17691350

the version with cyrillic says 'theres no sex here, but theres sex in that truck.' (with the implication that its a trap ant the truck is going to a gulag)

dunno if this one is making the same joke.

>>17691373
>http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=342991
Huh...

>>17691350
...so, is this one of ours, is this that rather high ranking officer in charge of way too much RAF stuff and for some reason talking much more like an MP than such, or something else. Time to find out, I suppose.

>>17691350
YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH

>>17691350
According to Danbooru, something along the lines of:
"Lolicons should go to the concentration camp"
Also, that artist makes my dick diamonds.

>>17691350

>>17691350

The man in the stained engineer jumpsuit gives you the biggest shit-eating grin ever recorded. "Pretty damn smooth, Yank."

"Got nothing on you. The hell did you do?"

"Came around the corner, saw somebody moving, snapped the light on and prayed to Jesus Mary and Joseph it wasn't an MP." He looks at the open window above your head. "Uh, could I get a boost?"

You grin. "Sure, what the hell. Won't be around to help you out, though."

"We just go out the front door," he explains. "Then the QM gets blamed for not locking it."

"Nice guy, I take it?" you query as the man hops on your shoulders.

"If he was, we wouldn't have to do this shit to make kit," the man grunts as he squirms through the window.

Perrine sticks her head out from behind the building corner as the man vanishes. "And just what was all that?"

"Reverse lend-lease. C'mon, we still need to hit the armory."

>>17691409
>"Lolicons should go to the concentration camp"

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHDFFFNSKNNNZ

>>17691409
shouldn't it be gulag since you know Orussia.

>>17691420
I know it comes dangerously close to giving a fuck, but can we actually do the paperwork for the armory? I mean, sneaking out ammo is one thing, but sneaking it out during war-time sounds like it would carry a heavier punishment.

>>17691429
Well. I guess we shouldn't go after Sanya...

>>17691420
Oh, it's a bro. Superb.

>>17691443

dont expect japs to grasp these minor distinctions.

Like I said.

Diamonds.

>>17691420
>reverse lend-lease
I approve.

Although I am still mystified by the lack of Hanna.

>>17691443
>>17691471
Actually, the word she uses IS gulag. The translator made a mistake.

>>17691487
THis is s1-based, she doesn't show up 'till 2.

>>17691475
That is the guy who did the Erica ball busting doujin someone posted in /h/. Few decent witch pictures, lots and lots of loli.

>>17691487
I hope we come across the ground Witches at one point. Like the African chick that blows Neuroi tanks up with a slingshot.

>>17691513
But most of them are lolis.

>>17691513
>one art is of Perrine kissing a dick for her Birthday

>>17691458
Its easier, so I see no issue. Might be boring, but we just have to file some paperwork for a fuckhueg crate of ammunition. A lot easier than risking our necks for something that damn easy to get.

>>17691513
This one? If not, then please tell me about this doujin.

>>17691516
Is she a delicious brown girl?

To the Armory!

>>17691533
Pierre clostermann's birthday was the 28th of february by the way.

Might want to keep that in mind.

>>17691562
Yeah. I say we work on the harder stuff - pitch pipe, handcuffs, stethoscope, that goddamn robe.

BTW, did Perrine manage to jack anything?

>>17691420

After depositing the bag of sunglasses in your aircraft, you retrieve the big, heavy canvas sack you obtained just for this trip. If you got as much as you want you'd need a dolly, but you think you'll be okay for a few more Martian attacks, at least.

"How are we getting into here?" Perrine asks you, looking at the armory. It's well-guarded, with a man behind a counter watching the only exit, and no convenient windows in the side of the building. Well, it's a Quonset hut, to be precise.

"Just walk in," you reply, and you do just that. "Hey! Hey, Mel!"

Mel looks up from his day-old newspaper, one of the much-hated Chesterfields dangling from his lips. He's the only man you've ever met who doesn't loathe them. "Huh? Dafuq is dat?" Mel is allegedly British, but he doesn't sound like it. He sounds like an angry lizard given a voice by a perverse God.

"It's a bag, Mel."

"Noshit," he snarlhisses. "Whatchawant?"

"Just .45 ACP. Reload my sidearm."

Mel eyes the huge bag. "Yeahright."

"I'm being re-based."

Mel considers this. "Newcotoldcot?"

"One of the new ones," you say. "All yours."

Mel shrugs. "Fuckkin MP's don'tpracticeanyway. Won'tmissit."

"Hokay," you agree, walk into the caged-in area behind Mel, and walk out with two Thompson SMGs, a dozen magazines, and as much boxed .45 ACP as your weary arms can lift. You stride past Mel, who's already returned to his paper, without a problem.

"How did you do that?" Perrine asks you, staring at the bulging bag.

"Bribes and lies."

You're walking back to your plane when Perrine yanks the bag off your shoulder, spins you around, locks her arms around you and presses her lips to yours in about one-point-four seconds.

>>17691616
Scream Rape!

>>17691564
I guess so. The destroy linker core whatever one.

IGNORE LOLIS, DELICIOUS SAKAMOTO

>>17691616
SWAG ACHIEVED.

WAT all over the place

>>17691616
Intredasting.

>>17691616

REMAIN UNFLAPPABLE

>>17691616
WHERE'S MY RAPE WHISTLE WHEN YOU NEED IT?

>>17691616

>>17691616
Whatever we do WE MUST NOT ACT SURPRISED.

>>17691616
Witches come to US, no need to chase!

>>17691616

kiss back of course.

I swear to god Plane, if you end it here I'll cry.

>>17691616

>>17691616

"Huh? Oh no, Sakamoto is going to be so pissed, I promised her my first kiss!"

>>17691616
oh god what is going on, is she trying to fuck us over somehow? PILOT LIKES LOLIS LOL?

>>17691616

All of my wat as it is raped in a most peculiar way.

By a mega tsun no less.

>>17691616
HASHTAG SWAG

>>17691683
this

>>17691616
Wow, we just traded a bed for 2 subs and a fuckload of .45 rounds. This place is crooked as shit or the old beds really suck.

>>17691616
Hooray! I actually think Perinne is cute when she isn't being a giant bitch, so this is a step forward!

>>17691683
Totally must be reaction!

>>17691616
Internally we are pic related.

Externally we must maintain our pokerface.

Remain completely UNFLAPPED.

Also find out why she did that.

>>17691616
Slip her the tongue. And make sure we know where her hands are.

>>17691564
Laughed.
>>17691616
RAPE!

>>17691616
HELP HELP! I'M BEING RAPED!

>>17691683

Shit's bananas.

>>17691616
We were considering doing this to trick onlookers before. Some judicious awareness of the area around us as quickly as we can would be very very good. This includes whether she's trying to sneak something onto or off of us.
If she's trying to trick us, we troll her a bit. If she's trying to trick onlookers, then depending on who it is we troll her during or after.
If she's suddenly all about figuring out if we'll do things to her for giggles... well, dunno. It seems rather unlikely.

guys she probably just saw someone coming and kissed us to keep from getting busted with stolen goods.

>>17691616

Whilst shit is bananas, at least its not Minna, she's not got a sexy eye patch though and shes not german, I don't see this going anywhere.

So when do we race Charlotte, Lucchini, and Erica with THESE bad boys?

>>17691616
What was that for? Not like I can blame her. We are pretty much the best thing ever.

>>17691726

it aint a mechanized infantry unit dude.

>>17691726
How many of those could fit in a B-52?

>>17691714
And, of course, play along until we figure just what happened. We are awesome, and unflappable.

>>17691616

A second later, a blistering-hot beam of light stabs out of the dark and bathes you in radiance, like the furious eye of a Just And Wrathful God.

"Oh," somebody says, in a very small voice. Perrine keeps on kissing you, and you are too surprised to fight back.

Well, you pretend to be, at any rate.

"Sorry," a man says, sounding quite abashed. You hear the rattle of a jeep motor starting up, and if you were to open your eyes, you'd probably see a jeep with a spotlight and a jealous MP driving into the dark.

As soon as the jeep is out of earshot, Perrine releases you and you jerk away, weaving like a boxer. She eyes you with cold malice.

"I should kill you for forcing the necessity of something so disgusting."

"Third time's the charm, huh? What's your kill count, again?"

"More then yours."

Which is true, so you look in the direction the poor MP fled. "Bastard. He usually lays by the front gate and blinds guys stumbling home from the O-Club. Guess he accidentally got the Major last night, if he's clear over here."

"Your Major is a drunk, too?"

"Hey, he fought to protect your country last war, sweet-cheeks."

"Don't call me that!"

"Didn't hear you complain when Ian said it."

"YES I DID!" Perrine yodels, even though she didn't.

You stash the boom in your plane, and that concludes your nocturnal shenanigans.

>>17691726
Right after we rig one of these up
>>17690479

>>17691726
Man im having flashbacks of Company of Heroes now

>>17691738
Doesn't have to be. It'd be fucking awesome.

>>17691261
>Clive Cadwell
I think you mean: Clive Cuntwell.

>>17691742
Where exactly in the plane did we stash the loot? Preferably we hid it where it won't be found if the plane is glanced at

>>17691742
whisper "Sakamoto's gonna get a good laugh from this"
just loud enough for Frenchy to hear

>>17691742
...so where did she learn to kiss?

>>17691742

We should totally give her props for her devious plan. After all, its what we would have done.

>>17691780
She's French. They don't need to learn.

>>17691780

shes french.

>>17691780
>French

>>17691780
She practices in her bed all night imagining Sakamoto's laughing lips

>>17691742

Given the French!Mind going around here, we should say something to the effect of "So it's true what they say about French girls and kissing". Even if we haven't heard anything about french girls and kissing. We need to keep up the mystique here.

>>17691816
We should say it just to spite her

>>17691816
>>17691818
No, say something like:
"She could use some more practice..."

>>17691775
Wingspace/fuselage

Aka wont get found unless you look there, and why would you?

Hmmm, think she just made up for nearly killing us. Im fine with her as long as she doesnt do it again.

>>17691816
>>17691818
Agreed. She's the only witch here, so the trolling must continue. Except teasing this time. Not reckless endangerment.

>>17691742
Now... how to get hold of a pitch whistle...
At least a few people should be able to point out the musically inclined, and those should be able to point out the people who might have one. I'm assuming chances of buying it at the PX are rediculously low.
Unless we find a drunk MP, we're not getting those handcuffs likely. Joke handcuffs are a possibility, from some of those in the camps.
Stealing a stethoscope is definitely a no-go. Buying one seems unlikely. Getting someone to give us one is possible, depending on how badly the medical groups need them, which may be very very badly indeed. Letting Perrine see that may either sway her to drop that request, or share why so we might convince another it's a good cause to hand over a spare.
A robe is easy. Silk is not. Chances are we aren't even going to be finding one of those unless we stick around for a while, at which point it would be difficult to get.
A fish is entirely doable, more than a few someones on this base are fishing likely. Getting it to make its way back, less easy. Though I guess some water and the cold of the plane bay might keep it well enough. And Yoshika helped heal our crew before.

>>17691841
To get silk we can always just get a parachute or two.

>>17691869
No. We are a Pilot, we would never dream of violating a parachute.

> Working on Warhockey 40k
> Come back, thread is giant

>"Bastard. He usually lays by the front gate and blinds guys stumbling home from the O-Club. Guess he accidentally got the Major last night, if he's clear over here."
Snerk!

WE GOT GUNS BABY! .45s for everybody! Did we get any drum mags with that haul? If not no biggie.

>>17691841
Specifically a pitch whistle for a piano, that might be even harder. But its still easier than hunting down like 40 tuning forks.

>>17691869
And the thought occurs that someone back at the castle is almost certainly tailor enough to turn it into a robe. This seems a very good possibility.

Is anyone else worried that we flew in to an RAF base and stole a shitload of stuff? Not "requisitioned" but outright stole. And our plane is logged in as having landed.

We should try and erase the logbook or something.

>>17691909
We'll be untouchable once we make it back to the Castle.

>>17691904
>>17691869

No. Never destroy parachutes.

"Where did that ice-bitch learn to KISS!?" Sean grunts.

You keep your eyes focused on the chewed-up, pitted dirt-track leading from the base to Eastchurch. "Dunno."

"Probably Sakamoto's ass," Ian moans from the back of the lorry.

"Impossible, I would've seen the hickies," Sean retorts.

"You stare at it enough."

"I don't stare."

"Not directly."

"No shit. I've got technique. It's the difference between leering and art appreciation. Hey, are we there yet?"

"Look for yourself."

"No thanks," Sean grunts, keeping his hand clapped over his eyes. They're both looking a little green, but Ian's worse off - he doesn't yet trust his legs.

Eastchurch is the same tired sea-town it's always been, but at least it has some shops worth visiting. Ian and Sean have the 501st engineer's bankroll, and know where to dole it out for maximum impact. There's a watch-maker who has most of his pre-war stock languishing under glass; something good and German should be waiting there for Minna. And there's even a drugstore downtown that carries stethoscopes, or so they claimed on the phone. It should be a nice, quiet, slow day of easy shopping.

You're tense as a guy-wire as you drive the truck through the downtown, waiting for a Martian tank to bash through the nearest buildings, for Martian steamsleds to come screaming out of the sky, for Perrine to come blasting in on her Striker unit with rape, murder or both on her mind...

>>17691909
No. We stole mostly petty shit. We're an ace-in-a-day up for medals and shit. We are above those kinds of accusations. Besides, RAF appears to have a problem with "disappearing" equipment as it is.

>>17691900
Those drums jammed like fucking crazy, just go ask /k/. We're going to need that work good magic if thats what we have.

Up next, raid BX for errytang else.

>>17691909
Nope, can't do that. EVERYONE knows that we were there. We left the front door of the warehouse we pilfered things from open, thus it may be passed of as carelessness rather than a larcenous American pilot. Besides, if they come after us after getting a DFC on circumstantial evidence and across services no less, they are likely to end up with their ass in a sling.

So, booze, pitch pipe, watch, something for a harley. Ideas?

>>17691967
A new jacket?

>>17691967
Ridiculously high-quality engine oil. Because anything less would be an insult.

>>17691988
Hmm.. couldn't she just get that from the military?

>>17691957
/k/ here: don't worry about it. The war production model M1928A1 didn't accept drum mags: only the 20 and 30 round sticks.

We're gold.

Autosagan.

>>17691998

Clearly you don't know much about how the military works. Two words: Lowest Bidder.

>>17691998
>Ridiculously high-quality

>>17691957
If memory serves, just needs work to fit. This is back in the day when magazines often had to be fit to weapons, remember. A good armorer could probably take care of business. Do we know any? Also, getting on the good side of the engineers might be useful in this respect.

>>17691941
>lorry
For an American we use a lot of britspeak.

>>17692004
....Woah...

>>17691941

But nothing happens. Despite your keen pattern recognition, the town is entirely mundane and safe.

"Why didn't Perrine come?" Ian asks you. "Thought she was babysitting us."

"Something about Minna being a tight-fisted bitch with off-base leave," you reply.

"Bet that ain't the only thing thaaaaaaarrgh," Sean groans as his hangover overpowers his smartass reflex. "Why did I open my eyes."

"Time to get out and spend somebody else's money, remember? And remember, Sakamoto said-"

"Some stuff that ain't cheap shit," Sean mutters, waving his hand at you as the lorry comes to a halt. "Like you'd know good liquor if it bit'cha."

You swing by the drugstore first, and pick up the stethoscope. After a second's thought, you pick up a pound of saltpeter as well.

Finally, you find the watchmaker's shop you were thinking of. The owner is a small old German man, and when the war started in earnest, his shop windows were smashed in and he stayed out of business until the Martins took all the nationalistic divides and shat acid on them.

Hence most of his pre-war stock is still around - Eastchurch's fishermen didn't buy too many German watches even before the war (though Swiss was fine, as always,) and for two years he sold nothing. You found your current watch there when you first got to England; it should have something else worth buying.

>>17692017

We've been here a while. And I suspect the brits "correct" us at every opportunity.

Archives are back up

>>17692024
>that image

>>17692024
>After a second's thought, you pick up a pound of saltpeter as well.

?

>>17692033
Oh good, suptg was nigh unreachable this past few hours. We should refresh the archives just in case.

>>17692082
>Food preservative, probably for the fish but idk

>>17692032
We should call it a head just to confuse everyone with even more slang.

NEW THREAD TIME!

>>17692082
For reduction of horny I imagine.

>>17692091
Oh, I thought it was because they say saltpeter depresses the sex drive,
Atleast its a common myth. Doubt it actually works

This thread aint chived
and im too lazy to think up a witty description

>>17692024

The door yields with that prosaic little dingy bell beloved by shopkeepers worldwide. The cacophony of ticking clocks greets your ears, and you pause on the threshhold, looking about awkwardly.

Clocks.

Fucking.

Everywhere.

Grandfather clocks, simple clocks, pub-clocks, and a shit-load of use-scarred Timexes and such fill the small shop, all ticking out-of-sync. The place is literally stuffed with timepieces - shit, there's even a naval chronometer on one shelf, which no British seaman would ever trust to a hack.

From the back comes the elderly German man. "Ah. Hello again."

"You remember me?"

"Of course. Not many young soldiers buy watches that work instead of watches that look flashy for the base nurses."

"What did you buy, when you were a young soldier?"

"An engagement ring," he says sourly. "That made noise on a regular basis too, but not the way I wanted it to. Women, young man - steer clear. Wait ten years, when your balls hand off the reigns to your brian. Anyway. What can I get you?"

"... a nice German watch. For a German pilot I know."

He sighs. "Vhat did I JUST say?"

"What? It's a pilot!"

"You mean a Witch."

You boggle at him, and he smirks. "Didn't see the paper this morning, I take it."

>>17692024
Let's find some Remy Martin. Everyone loves Remy Martin: and it was especially popular among the Luftwaffe, so a couple of bottles each should go over well with Minna, Erica, and Trude. A bottle of shochu will be tough to find, so some whiskey will have to do for Sakamoto.

Some Newcastle should go over well with the mechanics and the witches that don't drink as much.

>>17692123
Clearly not, or I wouldn't be this confused.

>>17692123
OH GOD, did we make headlines? Because god damn it.

>>17692123
...paper?

>>17692123

oh lord did we get celebritied?

>>17692123
"No, I didn't. Also, you know very well that even were I inclined to take your advice on women, I wouldn't manage to."

>>17692123
OH
NO

>>17692123
I hope
it's not a picture of us and perrine

>>17692123

Oh god... This is not good

We may have just gotten Timesquared.

>>17692123
Our actions got front page, now all the brits know we are better pilots than all of them. Witches might have been mentioned, who cares we're famous!

>>17692123
...who is also in the picture we're in, is the question I'm wondering. And which witches will try to give us trouble about said picture. ...we may need to begin planning some pre-emptive trolling soon to give us some breathing room.

>>17692142

Our COs are probably working a propaganda angle out of our exploits, afterall, we stepped on the biggest political landmine a pilot could recently. This is our punishment as liason to the Witches.

>>17692123
>Inb4 we got photo snapped when Frenchy kissed us
>We have to show her a copy

Okay. Lets think about this.

He recognized us, not just from being here before. But from the paper. Thus there's a picture of us.

When has their been an opportunity to take a picture of us!? I can't recall! It might just be a stock photo!

Thread still needs to be chived

>>17692133
>Remy Martin

If we wanna go full-swag, I recently bought a candy bar that held Remy in big blisters on it. Really good, especially since some of the chocolate melted into the Remy and took off the bite. Very smooth drink.

>>17692123

"Like what you did with the place," you say uneasily, looking around at the walls.

"Oh, yes. Now that Germans are not pig disgusting," he says that last bitterly, "people figure making do is better then buying new. Especially with Normandy between here and the continent, where anything worth buying is made. So I leave out ones I've fixed till they're picked up. Good advertising."

"Quite," you say, the discordant ticking starting to put you on edge. You try to tune it out, and lean over to inspect his stock. The old shopkeeper leads you through them, discussing different kinds of escarpments and actions. You know something of them, and get into a spirited conversation with the man for almost an hour, enjoying the chance to talk with another watch enthusiast. After a long talk, you both settle on a particularly fine instrument with three dials, twelve-and-twenty-four hour markings, and a rotating bezel which can serve as a slide-rule for common calculations. The price is about what you'd expect for something like that, but your danger pay is piling up and if Minna keeps acting like a bitch with an icicle up her ass, you can always add it to your own collection, right?

The old German man is boxing up your purchase with a flourish when he abruptly drops the roll of tape he's applying to the box.

"Wha-"

"SHH!" he exclaims, and because he said it, you listen.

The entire shop is TOCKing with the power of two dozen clocks all ticking in perfect time. One after another, crisp and on cue, the combined sound is almost eerie in its perfection.

Staring at you with wide, shocked eyes, the old German watchmaker speaks."

"You... are a wizard too."

>>17692123
Look, I have no designs on her. We've been butting heads hard since I got here and I'm just trying to make nice before one of us kills the other.

Which quest # is this? Archiving and I don't want it to be off.

>>17692171

Give you three guesses as to who took it.

>>17692206
...Awww hell.

Also, what bloody paper?

>>17692206
>"You... are a wizard too."
>too
SHIT SON.

>>17692223

Sean.

>>17692206

"Don't be stupid. Probably Martians."

>>17692206

Clocks in time...

Well fuck... We've just lost any chance of ignoring it. Clocks don't tune themselves.

>>17692206
"Master?"

>>17692206
... Well.
Time to batten down and prepare for the rage.

>>17692216

11. i think.


>>17692206
NOW YOUVE DONE IT

>>17692206

>>17692206
No.

No no no, no.

NO.

>>17692206
>"You... are a wizard too."

>>17692206
oh goddamnit.

>>17692206
...The fuck? Since when have I been a wizard? And what the hell do you mean by "too"?

Ididn'taskforthis.jpg.

>>17692206
LIKE BULLSHIT WE ARE

RUN AWAY COVERING YOUR EARS, FUCK THE WATCH

I tried to archive it and it wouldn't let me, because I archived Deffwotch.

>>17692206

NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES: LAST RITES!

Strike Witches resumes on SUNDAY. Time depends on how long it takes my GM to murder my six-pack of clones. (Odds are, not long.)

>>17692241
dammit

>>17692206

>"You... are a wizard too."

Say nothing. Deny everything kindly to the old man, who has obviously lost it.

Or politely continue to talk to him, and see where he's going with this.

>>17692259

Now here come's the rage.

>>17692206

Ok, you know what, we can just give her our watch, lets leave this guy to his wizard business. Too much lead in his water, crazier than a chicken in a pickle barrel.

>>17692206
Don't use the "w" word, please, sir.

WE WIZARD NOW

>>17692229

Nope. Smart money is Luke, or even Paddy.

Oh, "Paddy."

>>17692259
WE NEED THAT PAPER.

>>17692206
So, our magic makes machines work or not if we want it to.

I've made do with worse.

>>17692259

OH, FUCK YOU PLANEFAG

Archived it.

And personally, I don't like the idea of us being a wizard. It'd have been cooler to just be that good. Because now our buddies are probably also wizards like we all thought and it's going to get all political.

I wanna just dick around.

>>17692206
You know, I need to sleep. That was just cruel.

On that note, acting like we don't know anything at all about what he's talking about, or that we don't notice all the mechanical things working right will certainly be a dead giveaway that we're hiding something, and that we know why we need to hide it.
'Honest' surprise, confusion, curiosity about how he managed to get them all to suddenly switch to the same time, and perhaps that it'd be kinda nice if it wasn't just witches but hey whatchagonnado.
Then it depends on whether he keeps talking or clams up.

>>17692259
>Sunday... Fuck
>DnD or SWQ
>wat do
>wat do
>wat do

...My group has enough defenders

>>17692276
When could they have taken a picture... did one of them get us sleeping in the Witch bed?

>>17692259
>dat cliffhanger

Welp, back to attempting to drawfag some shit (poorly)

It's probably nothing at all and planefag is just enjoying the torture is causes us all...

>too
>Too
>TOO
OLD MAN IS A WIZARD? TEACH US YOUR WAYS.

>>17692293
>And personally, I don't like the idea of us being a wizard. It'd have been cooler to just be that good.

Actually, it's both. Simultaneously. The explanation is a little complex, but anybody who really understands magic should be able to explain it to you just fine.

You just have to ask a Witch "How does male magic work?" That should be easy enough, right?

>>17692321

There's 24 odd clocks in the room.

Chances that they tick in unison? Near zero.

My guess though? Start next thread and they go back out of sync.

And we wonder for another 2 threads if it was a trick of fate, or were we distracted?

I wouldn't get too hyped up. Male mages are exceedingly weak in magic. It's probably just an extreme ability to work with machinery or something. Nothing controllable.

On the other hand, we can use this card to get laid. Continuing the magic race and all that.

>>17692337
We were given a miniscule amount of magic through the kiss from Perrine?

I'm pulling this outta my ass here.

>>17692337

But does this mean we can wear our robe and wizard hat?

Better yet, is this a legitimating excuse for us to not wear pants?

>>17692206
Simple technical activities, repeated a nauseating number of times, have apparently taken us where few pilots have ever dreamed possible.

Yes, gentlemen, we are now a warlock. Our magical power: badassness. Our sparkles shall become LEGENDARY.

I've never read or watched SW. How does magic work in it? From what I've picked up it's not ritual circles and fireballs or miracle-working, more like enhanced abilities and shit?

>>17692346

>magic is herpes

>>17692351
Because god knows our actual casting ability will be nothing to talk about.

>>17692356
Superpowers really. They all have some common abilities like shields and superstrength. Others have more unique powers:

magic radar
supersuperstrength
couplesecond precognition

are some examples.

Also they can just turn it into fuel for their striker units.

>>17692337
>>17692259
Rough estimate of what time you'll be around?
Got a game myself.

>>17692337
So, we are Schrodeinger's magi?

I say we ask Perrine, I see no problems with this.

>>17692351
Nigga, are you telling me we'll have to start dressing like THIS? (the one on the right)

I don't mind, it looks cool as shit.

>>17692351
The moment we sparkle is the moment we commit suicide.

>>17692379
We wouldn't have enough magic to stand up in one of those things, much less actually take off.

>>17692379
Bah. Screw that. We kicked ass earlier because the P-61 has huge ass guns. Witches may be really fast and maneuverable but they still only have small arms to shoot with.

I'm betting on some sort of technomancy. We can cause problems and also instantly know exactly what is wrong with a machine.

>>17692379
>Me262 striker unit

Oh... Oh yes

>>17692372

Probably usual time. Don't know for sure and certain they're not putting me on work that day, so I might have to post on /tg/ again to update my info.

>>17692379
>that gun
It's so hybrid. I like it.

>yfw we steal a working Martian gun

>>17692337
The thought occurs that with all that talk about male magic users being universally weaker and perhaps less overt, that magic that simply works through a focus of something you're very good at simply to make you better is entirely doable.
It's not magic that we're good with mechanical things; that's just natural for some people (who possibly may class as abysmally low-powerd magic users potential in this universe actually). That we're always that good with them and that we bend probability so very far, possibly with a similarly abnormal cost to engines when we push them past what they could normally get away with...
Well, maybe having a knack with things in this universe is simply incredibly small magic. And we have a very very good knack backed up by very very good skill and no small amount of luck. Regularly. ...it's still not proper magic and we're not wizards.