Papa-N! Fuck yeah!

Hertical Love? FUCK YES

>You didn’t notice her left hand, which has now clasped a pair of cuffs over your own.

Is it even possible for you to disappoint, Papa?

>Heretical Love Part XV

After missing this thread every time up until now due to work or lack of intarwebs, I finally stand upon the peaks overlooking the wonder that is....
HERETICAL LOVE, FUCK YESS!!!!

>>17503191
>Heretical love
OH YES
>tau smut
OH YES
>femdom
fuck this shit

You don’t protest as she slides your shirt up and undoes your belt.

“After all,” Ailia hums.

“You did help me find my brother.”

“Well, it’s not like I did a whole lot…” You shrug.

You jump slightly as Ailia’s warm hand grabs hold of your krak missile.

Ailia’s face contorts slightly as she guides it in, a mixture of pleasure, pain, and confusion.

“You alright?” You ask genuinely.

“I uh… Well us members of the fire caste… I’ve never done this.” She finally admits.

It doesn’t seem to stop her as the two of you move into base to base combat.

As cool as the cuffs are, you find yourself yearning to grab hold of the slightly panicked Tau girl. Lured perhaps by her thick hips.

After several minutes of simply sitting there adjusting, Ailia finally starts to move.

Its nearly too much for you to handle.

You thought she was trying to act dominant, what with the handcuffs and all. However you soon find out she is anything but.

She grabs you as she grinds herself around, eventually hugging you tightly around the middle. Seems like she's started to enjoy herself at least.

The assault continues for over an hour, during which she finally releases your hands and you take over.

At the end of it, both of you lay on the cold floor of the ship, breathing hard.

“Hey… Humans and Tau can’t…”

“I don’t think so, but as much as you shot out…” Ailia giggles.

The two of you decide to get dressed before a Grey Knight finds you, pops a rage boner, and kills the both of you.

>>17503279


Well that was fun

>>17503274

>>femdom
>fuck this shit

What on earth is wrong with you? That shit is HOT.

>>17503297
I guess, if you are the average insecure nerd.

>>17503279
Fun indeed. wish there could have been some ass play though, like last time.

>>17503297
fun or not, it's clearly not adapted to the tau.

If there is one kind of girl in the galaxy that shouldn't and wouldn't be into femdom, it would be the tau girls.

Eight sits alone on the bridge of the massive Imperial ship.
A rarity.

Usually this kind of place is buzzing with activity, alive with noise and light and life.

He bobs his head slightly to the tune in his headphones. What does a Vindicare listen to? Maybe you can find the answer someday.

The cigarette in his mouth has died out, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps he just doesn’t care.

He looks down at Yagis V, it’s bright blue oceans alluring even from the void of space.

“Can I get you anything kid?”

You sit down next to Eight. He looks tired, as though he’s just gone three rounds with an Ork in a high-stakes boxing match.

Eight shakes his head, before looking back out over the planet.

“Don’t say much, do you?”

Eight shrugs.

“Depends. Quite a bit of information to process, the Emperor talking to me and all.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling bro.”

You notice a picture resting in front of the young Vindicare, and pick it up.

A young couple are smiling up, holding a small baby, forever immortalized in the black and white.

“Is that you?” You ask, setting the photo back down.

“Yeah.”

You doesn’t press the conversation.

Eight is more or less off in his own world…

>>17503313

Y'say that, but it could be a counter-culture thing. The kind of stuff they'd keep to themselves.

Kind of makes sense in a psychological way.

>>17503326
that's not the way Papa N presented it.

But okay, fair enough. Well, fair, but only if we get to rape the shit out of a dark eldar chick/daemonette at some point.

Damn you papa-n! Of all times. You made my day. Thank you.

>>17503325

Vindicare smoke? Huh.

Heretical Love? On my /tg/? Why didn't anyone tell me earlier?

>>17503304

Pahahaha. So if you found yourself in a position with a smoking hot woman who wanted to have her way with you, you'd decline and protest, huh.

Guardsman: “Help!”

I turn.

The guardsman reaches out for me, his face bloody and soiled from the battle.

Too late.

A bolt of plasma fire pierces through his chest, burning a ragged hole.

He looks down, perplexed by this new situation, as though perhaps it was all some kind of bizarre dream. He collapses.
I didn’t really know him, I don’t get to know any of them. They never seem to last long here.

The rifle is heavy, but familiar now.

Hold your breath.

Squeeze…

Bang.

I’m rewarded with the sight of vibrant purple Tau brains splattering a nearby tree, soaking the foliage around it in the xeno’s blood.

Sergeant: “Eight, where are you?”

I activate my own vox.

Eight: “On route.”

I keep running, regaining the pace I’d had before being stopped by the guardsman.

I’m not new to a fight. I can’t remember ever not fighting really.

Still, this isn’t an easy one by any means.

Two more fire warriors in my way, they turn to face me, but too slowly.

My rifle cracks, the shots so fast the sound is deceptive, melding into a single long snap of the supersonic rounds.

They never knew what hit ‘em.

“Hey, uh… You alright man?”

You give Eight a light shake.

His brow furrows and his morose blue eyes refocus.

“Yeah.”

You don’t know what’s going through his head, but you can’t shake the feeling its nothing good.

“Well… If you say so…”

Figuring you’ll give the kid some space, you push yourself up and start toward the exit. Might as well go see what’s going on with Kais.

“Hey Max.”

You turn and look back at Eight, who is staring out the window again.

“Yeah kid?”

“Don’t die.”

“Err… I’ll try my best…?”

>>17503350

Is this the first flashback we've had in HL?

If so...IT'S ABOUT TIME!

>>17503369

Nein, it's the second or so, there's one part where Max flashbacks about his pal Douglass

>>17503349
Yes, because I may be an unattractive nerd, but I'm not a pussy.

>>17503381

>implying you need to be TOTALLY DOMINANT ALL THE TIME DERP to enjoy yourself

How does being frightened by women work out for you?

>>17503398
FFS shutup and let the Heretical Love flow through you!

>>17503398
I'm not even remotely implying that. You may want to sound more credible when trolling, next time.

You continue to wander around the ship, more or less aimlessly. Though you wouldn’t mind finding a shower.

Darkhammer emerges from a nearby hallway and the two of you stop at the sight of each other.

“Hey, we cool?” You ask after several moments of silence.

Darkhammer looks as though he’s mulling your question over.

“Yes, I believe we are.” He finally nods, before offering you a canned drink out of the six-pack in his hand. You graciously accept.

Darkhammer takes a seat at a nearby table and gestures for you to as well.

You crack open the drink and take a sip. You don’t know what it is, but it tastes like it has twenty three flavors. Its good.

Heavy footfalls behind you cause you to turn around, and Kais waves with his massive right hand as he walks over.

Darkhammer looks at him for several moments, perhaps still quite unsure about having a xeno, a commander no less, on his ship.

Kais seems like he gets the hint, but claps you on the shoulder and smiles anyways.

“I’ve got to thank you again for reuniting me with my sister. I’d been worried she had gotten herself into more than she could handle, but I see she’s had a good friend helping her along.”

You grin sheepishly.

“I didn’t really do much…”

Kais shakes his head, a bit more serious.

“She wouldn’t have made it out of that spring alive without you. Ailia is a great warrior, but her fear of Tyranids may well have frozen her to the spot had you not been there.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Darkhammer’s eyes go wide, and his jaw drops almost comically.

“Hey dudes… Oh! Man, can I snag one of those?” A familiar voice echoes through the ship.

>>17503412
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Beers with the emperor!

>“Hey dudes… Oh! Man, can I snag one of those?” A familiar voice echoes through the ship.

>>17503424

In b4 it's Doomrider.

>>17503430
Doomrider almost always speaks in all caps. besides, that's way too calm for him. It's the Emprah.

>>17503441

Maybe. But you know how Papa always loves to throw us curveballs.

>>17503469
>inb4 Huehuehuehue

You can’t help but smile as you turn around in your chair.

“Sup Emps.”

The Emperor grins as he walks forward, well his projection spirit self anyways.

Darkhammer can’t seem to form words, fixated on the sight. You can’t blame him, your first meeting was just as shocking. Especially being dead and all.

The Emperor reaches down and tries to grab a can, but his hand slips right through it. He frowns and looks down at the can longingly.

“Can’t you just like, summon one or something?” You inquire.

“Oh… I didn’t even think about that, thanks man.” A can pops into the Emperor’s hand, and he brightens up as he takes a drink.

“E-e-Emprah?” Darkhammer finally spits, before leaping up and then kneeling to the ground.

The Emperor waves his hand, already mid-sip.

“C’mon dude, no need to be all awkward and whatnot. Let’s just chill.”

Darkhammer looks completely perplexed.

“I… Er…”

But he stands back up and sits back down, his eyes fixated on his god, as though he might disappear at any moment.

“There you go dude, no crazy shit here. Just a couple bros sharing a drink.”

Kais looks slightly confused as his gaze moves between you, Darkhammer, and the Emperor.

“So is this your Emperor? I had thought he was in a near death state.” He comments, though not rudely.

“Oh, my bad dude, forgot to introduce myself.” The Emperor does his best to shake Kais’s hand.

“I’m the Emperor. Well, not in the flesh but you get it man.”

“On behalf of the Tau, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Same man, same. Dude, do you lift? That arm is shredded.”

“Err… Yes, it gets quite a workout…”

Kais and the Emperor both take a seat, and the conversation picks up as Darkhammer finally overcomes his shock.

>>17503509
>That arm is shredded

Remembered Kais is Fap'tau :)

>“Err… Yes, it gets quite a workout…”

>>17503509
TOLD YOU

>>17503555
Fine, fine, you're right. Way to be modest about it.

>>17503607
stupidity?

“…and that’s my plan.” The Emperor finally concludes, having told them what he told you in the warp.

Darkhammer nods, though you can tell it’s a massive shock to him.

“It is an excellent plan. War is in no one’s interest.” Kais comments, looking hopeful.

“Anyways, Darkhammer, I have use of you as well.” The Emperor suddenly seems much less carefree.

“I am at your service, always.” Darkhammer bows his head.
“We are going to be in for one hell of a fight here soon, and we are going to need all the help we can get.” The Emperor sits back in his chair, his eyes hard, completely different from how you’ve seen him before.

“We are going to need as many allies as we can get. I want you to start contacting everyone you can, Astartes, other members of the Inquisition, Eldar…”

Darkhammer nods as he takes notes, but then looks up.

“Eldar, lord?”

“Everyone you can. This matter concerns all.”

“It might be difficult, Emperor. Few will believe me or my information about your cause…”

The Emperor smiles, his eyes twinkling.

“That won’t be a problem, I’ve got a plan. Well, Tzeentch helped me with it.” He admits.

“The chaos god?!” Darkhammer blurts out, unable to stop himself.

“Yeah, she and I kinda have a thing going… The chaos gods are ready to go forward with this master scheme as well, all except for one that is…”

The Emperor sets down his drink.

“This is all going to end, one way or another. The only question is, will it be in our favor…” He looks out the window at Yagis V.

“…Or Malal’s…”


A servant jumps, startled as she washes the golden throne at the feet of the Emperor.

Did something just move?

Impossible, she finally tells herself.

>>17503637
>we are going to need all the help we can get.
>Did something just move?

OH LAWDY DIS GON BE GUD.

>>17503637
>emperor decides to be way less dead then normal
>goes and kicks literally everybodys ass.

>we are going to need all the help we can get.

Evening, brothers

>>17503637

I love how this story is exactly like the premise of 40k itself - one huge collection of cliches rolled into something that ends up being wonderfully unique.

>>17503684

Max: Steven Bulm
Sister Lycheria: Tabitha St. Germain
Tau girl: Tara Strong
Tsunseer: Grey DeLisle
Deldar Twins: Venus Terezo
Khornette: Melissa Fahn
Yandre-Cron: Dionne Quan
Techpriestess: Andrea Libman
Karen: Olivia D'Abo
Doomrider: Dr. Rockso
Abbadon: Christopher Sabat
Nurgle: John DiMaggio
Slaanesh: Tim Curray
Khorn: Keith David
Tzeentch: Nicole Oliver
Warboss: John DiMaggio
Emperor: Crush (Finding Nemo)
Malice: Frank Welker
DarkHammer: Tony Jay
Kais: Scott McNeal

I made it!

>>17503720
>naming a cast list for this
>implying we would be graced by the emperah.

>>17503720

Dr. Rockso is voiced by Tommy Blacha.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Blacha

>>eldar, lord?

>>inb4 mind bullet training

>>17503756
Thank you

Awwwww yeah, time for some mo pimpin and love makin'

>>17503804
Lol e-mail

Prepare to get spammed

You stand at the entrance to the drop pod, nervous.

This isn’t something you’ve done before, and after the safety briefing by the Grey Knights, you aren’t sure it’s something you want to do at all.

The brother captain claps you on the back, well the back of your new armor anyways.

“Are you ready for this, brother Max?” He asks, putting his hand on your left pauldron as he gives the armor one last check-over.

“No. I am not. At all.” You admit.

The giant Astartes chuckles as he seems satisfied with the armor.

“It really isn’t bad, you might even enjoy the ride.”

You sincerely doubt that.

The Emperor seems distant, as though concentrating on something else, as he approaches you.

“Backup won’t be here for you instantly, and we are going to need a bit to prep our forces, so don’t do anything stupid while you’re down there.” The Emperor nods as he looks you over.

“A fine suit of armor, it fits you well.”

As you give your new suit another glance, you are forced to admit that it does. The Grey Knights, emboldened and seemingly made anew by the reemergence of their Emperor, had given it to you. It took them quite a while to get it to fit to your much smaller frame, but somehow they did it.

They protested a bit when you told them to leave your left forearm out of it though, but the Knights didn’t listen. After thinking it over, and checking out the storm bolter they had attached, you were kinda ok with it. The tech marine who did the work then showed you how he had modified the left forearm, allowing you to still use the weapons housed in your arm.

The brother captain takes something from another Knight, and hands it to you, his gaze serious.

You can’t help but gape a bit as he places the haft of the nemesis axe in your hand.

“This weapon seems to be attuned to you, your mind, it has chosen you to wield it now. But whatever you do, don’t let the Blood Ravens get a close look at this.” He warns you.

“It’s an ancient relic of the Grey Knights, if they find that out, you will wake up and it will be gone.”

You nod, and swallow as you look the weapon over.

The power emanating from it is something even you can sense.

Ailia moves in and gives you a kiss on the cheek, maybe a bit shy with her brother in the room and all.

“You take care, I do want to see you again.” She smiles, and you return the grin.

Kais, now back in his own suit, shakes your hand.

“Ailia and I are going to rally the Tau to this cause, it may be difficult but I believe they will see that it is for the greater good. I expect to see you again, intact.”

“Same to you.”

A tech marine looks up from his work.

“Brothers, it is time.”

>>17503827

>>17503827

You swallow hard as they usher you into your own drop pod.

“Hey uh, Emperor, can’t you just teleport me again?” You ask him.

“Not this time, busy with something…” He seems quite distant, and you notice his projection doesn’t look as defined.

“Don’t worry, you will be fine.” The brother captain says, before closing the hatch.

You don't feel like you are going to be fine.

Well, too late to turn back now, where should you have this thing land…?

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

[ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

[ ] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

[ ] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.

[ ] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

[ ] Mika sent you a message, asking for help with some science.

[ ] Lycheria left you a voice message, apparently the canoness wants her bike back.

everyone knows this is grey knight's greatest relic ; THE VERY SAME CUP WHERE EMPERAH DRANK HIS COFFEE!

>>17503888
[X] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

>>17503888
Try to repogram yanecron.

>>17503888
[X] Karen sent you a text, the Orks are filming a show she thinks you would enjoy.

The greatest show on (insert planet name here)!

[ ] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.
Gotta prepare for the coming battle... and some new shouts would be awesome too

Dammit, so many good options...

[x] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

>>17503888

MIND BULLETSSSSSSS

[X] Try to reprogram the murderously loving Necron.

>>17503888

Lets get some piracy and some twins up in this bitch!

>>17503891

You must be confused, that's just a regular broken mug.

[X] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.
I concur with the Anon who said, "too many good choices."
Aye. Eshwe barely beat out the twins and Lycheria.

>>17503888


Reprogram the Necron into an assassin sexbot.

Mind bullets

>[X] Dinner date on a skiff with the Dark Eldar twins, piracy on the high seas.

Why not? Should be interesting.

[X] Mind bullet training with the tsunseer.

>>17503891
>>17503933

>>17503923
>>17503909
>>17503950
We should try and get Mika to help us out with that.

>>17503191
Oh, fuck, I totally vote OP's image to be the new official cover of the WH40K 5th Edition Core Rulebook.

Mind Bullets and Tsundere dodging!

> [ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

>>17503967

mite b cool

Don't think Mika'll be thrilled to chill with a 'cron, though.

>>17503993
Just fugured we would need a tach expert, if we're going to do it, we need to do it right.

[ ] Give your axe-murderer a jingle, go to the bloodbowl game.

>>17503888
Mindbullet training with the tsunseer.

Then we go to the bloodbowl game.
Then we help Mika, who can then help us fix the Canoness' bike.

>>17503933
sorry but seems that you are mistaken.
see that purity seal? A REAL DEAL

Tsunseer, man.

>>17503888
Mind boolets, nobody will ever outsmart them, plus maybe our head won't explode.

Looks like its an Esh thread?

>>17504072
Hell yeah, finally!

>>17504072
Indubitably good sir. Let the mind bullets commence!

Mindbulleets! We need to it not asplode our brains.

>>17504072
>>17504072

YES!

>>17504072
It's about time.

>>17504018

I don't know brother, that looks rather...shopped

We can impress her with our new inquisitorial friend. And the shiny armor.

>>17504072
Indeed. Mind bullets ahoy!

>>17504132
it is true that at one point it was stolen from Imperial palace and sold to the black market but brave GREY KNIGHTS RECOVERED IT AFTER YEARS OF SEARCH

>>17504132
I have been seaching for that mug........

>>17504160
i forgot my zoomed in picture of the mug so you can see that it really is emperor's mug

>>17504162

Ahh yes this mug is a glorious mug, is it not? Unfortunately I will not be giving this one away, for I only accept gifts

You get the feeling that you should land on the beach, you don’t really know why, just that feel.

Hand trembling, you punch it into the pod's controls.

A terrible clang echoes through the small vessel. You pray that isn’t a bad noise.

A prayer cut short, as the craft lurches forward at incredible speed.

“I don’t like this…” You comment as the pod starts picking up even more speed.

You feel your stomach lurch at the feeling of the sudden drop.
“oh shit oh shit oh shit….”

The pod finally enters the atmosphere, and you are shown a new definition of fast.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU….!”

You are plummeting downward, all you can do is hold on and keep yelling. It feels like you are going to drop forever.

Finally the craft starts to slow, and before you can even breathe a sigh in relief, it slams hard into the sand.

The impact might have hurt if you hadn’t been in the new armor, which you are now even more thankful to have.

Hatches blow open with a hiss, and you squint your eyes at the bright light as you step out of the pod, incredibly happy to have survived.

You don’t see anyone around though, which is a bit depressing. You finally let out that sigh, it’s going to be a long trek to get anywhere.

“Nice armor, you look like a dork, mon-keigh.” Chimes a familiar voice from behind you.

You put on a tough face and turn around.

“My power is maximum.”

>>17504206
Retuuurn the Muuuug......
Or suffeeeer my raaaaath

>>17504154

Anyone else think that pic looks like a vajayjay?

Did Hat-chan get armored too?

>>17504251

Cant Fucking Unsee, you asshole

>>17504251
Not really, In my experience they don't have swords and spears held in their pubic hair.

>>17504265
You get a golf clap for that, good sir. Bravo.

>“Nice armor, you look like a dork, mon-keigh.” >Chimes a familiar voice from behind you.
>You put on a tough face and turn around.
>“My power is maximum.”
gotta be one of the best set of lines ever.

Esh doesn’t look impressed.

“Sure it is.”

“Allow me to demonstrate…” You smirk.

“…fus…” You whisper quietly, with just a trickle of energy.
The wind whips up the skirt Esh is wearing, but she holds it down with one hand so you don’t get a peek.

“Amateurish.” She chides.

“It was worth a shot.” You admit.

Esh laughs, crossing her arms and looking you over.

“Even in your new armor, your mind powers are no match for mine.”

“Hah. Says the one who just sat there while I did all the work defeating Doomrider.”

Esh’s smirk fades, and she looks serious.

“Zun Haal Viik!”

The axe is blown out of your hands, soaring backwards where it sinks into the sand some ten yards away.

“Had enough yet?” She asks, not having moved.

“As if, your Eldar tricks are no match for me.”

“Fair enough… Strun Bah Qo!”

A bolt of arcane lightning strikes a foot away from you, and you can feel all of your hair standing on end from the crackling energy.

“On second thought, I could maybe use some training…”

Esh looks up at the sky.

“I cannot teach him, the boy has no patience.” She says to no one.

“…Are you talking to someone?” You finally ask.

“Ugh… Watch some of your own race’s films you mongoloid.”

“Whatever. Are you going to train me or not?”

Esh smirks again. You can tell she’s enjoying screwing with you.

“Maybe… What’s in it for me?”

[ ] The pleasure of helping out a friend?

[ ] I’ll let you wear my hat for a while.

[ ] A kiss. St-stupid wych.

>>17504392
[x] A kiss. St-stupid wych.

NOONE shall get our hat!

[x] A kiss. St-stupid wych.

>>17504265

It's called an I.U.D., dude.

[X] A kiss. St-stupid wych.
Time to beat her at her own game...

rolled 12 = 12

>>17504392
A kiss.

[X] A kiss. St-stupid wych.

Double down and call.

[x] A kiss. St-stupid wych

and the speghetti suddenly splatters everywhere from what seems like an infinite amount in the pockets.

>[x] A kiss. St-stupid wych.

There is only one answer.

>>17504392

Hat-chan is a master persuader, going with Hat-chan.

>>17504392
Oh god, a thought just occured to me... Psyker Greybeards... papa, FUND THIS

>>17504471
>>17504467
>>17504460
>>17504456
>>17504432
>>17504422
>>17504421

This fucking quest is burning out my F5 key. I wanna have your babies Papa!

>>17504487
>>17504392

pic so fucking related

“I-I’ll give you a k-k-kiss, stupid space elf wych, it’s not like I want to do it, or anything!”

“Are you kidding me?” Esh groans.

“I’ll pay you up front, get over here!” You run at her, engaging your smootchface.

“Eww! No! Get away from me!” She starts to run.

Unfortunately for her, you’ve already built up momentum and she can’t escape. You grab the now-struggling Eldar around the middle and lift her up, her legs kicking at your armor to no effect. Your lips are drawing ever closer to her.

“All right! All right, I’ll train you! Now put me down!”

You don’t let her go, this is too much fun now.

“But what about your payment?” She’s holding your face away with one hand, but you are starting to overpower her.

“Wha?? W-why would I want a kiss from some i-idiot mon-keigh?!”

“Your resistance only makes my penis harder.”

“Gross! Put me down!”

Finally you relent, though you can’t erase your massive grin.

Esh pouts up at you. At least she wants you to think that, you can read her poker face.

“You better prepare yourself, I’m not going to go easy on you. St-stupid mon-keigh.”

>>17504507
Hey, if we're gonna fuck this up it's going to be done for the right reasons!

>>17504550
I really like Kamina as a character.

But

>dat pic

My penis feels so conflicted over this.

>>17504507
Prepare yourselves.

>>17504392
Reverse tsundere is not gonna work.
[x] A kiss. St-stupid wych.

(still doing it)

>>17504546
hee hee hee!
Genuine affection is OP.

>>17504564
>Not getting a boner over Lady!Kamina

Son. Are you one a' them faggots?

>>17504564
There are two critical details:
A) Kamina-chan is seriously racked, and
B) she's also totally into it.
What else matters?

>>17504564
>genderbent Kamina
>confused boner
This is gonna get worse.

>>17504550
>>17504564

admit it Papa, your drill would totally pierce her heavens.

I totally want a "drill that will pierce the heavens"line in today's episode now.

>>17504620
My drill would pierce her heavens, then we would go have an awesome adventure.


>she dies 8 days later

>>17504538
yep, agreed. At this point, I can't help but associate Max as a full on Dovakiin, just with Steve Blum's epic voice

>>17504648

this is assuming you are Yoshiko (or whatever man-yoko would be called).

>>17504546
>>17504546

Challenge Accepted, time to learn moar shouts. Lord knows we've consumed enough Eldar souls for them

>>17504718
On of our shouts should unleash the rath of the souls we smoked

>>17504718

THIS

>captcha: AquIRE Power

>>17504718
Mass orgasm shout?
Mass orgasm shout.
(only works on female)

“Sure, as if you can train me that hard.”

Esh glares.

“Oh, you don’t even know.”

She reaches down to her pack that fell when you grabbed her, and pulls out a small box. She presses a button, and some song you’ve never heard before starts blaring from it.

Dun!

Dun dun dun!

Dun dun dun!

Dun dun duuunnnnnn!!

“Prepare yourself, mon-keigh, I’m going to work you to the bone.”

She’s right, the training is incredibly intense.

Esh continues blasting at you with psychic energies as you punch away at a tree furiously, ducking and dodging the incoming attacks.

~Rising up, back on the street~

You run hard, Esh in close pursuit as lightning bolts descend from the sky all around you. You have to sense them coming, and jump out of the way before they fry you.

~So many times it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory…~

Esh is dodging now, as you lash out with your own mind powers. She seems to be having an easy time of it, until one catches her in the middle and she’s pushed back, she smiles.

~Hangin tough, stayin hungry~

Both of you are in a running battle now, shouting out your words of power as you run down the beach, trying to trip the other one up. It seems like the playing field is becoming more level.

~Rising up to the challenge of our rival~

>>17504760
Fuck yeah, psyker training to Eye of the Tiger

>>17504760
>>17504760
>>17504760

>Towards the end of the montage, Fuck up FUS ROH DAH and use just FUS ROH D-*cough*.
>Tsunseer stumbles and falls laughing.
>Man the fuck up, walk up alpha as fuck.
>Help her the fuck up into your arms
>Get that goddamn kiss.

>>17504750

DIIVON DAAR!

Check the dragon language on skyrim wiki and enjoy :)

>>17504812
YES! THIS!

>>17504812

>this

>>17504787
What the hell is a tiger?
That song is called Eye of the Tyrant.

>Finally online for HL
>Gotta get ready for work
>FML

>>17504870
>implying the names of all the animals from Terra wouldn't be considered holy and something that needed to be remembered

“You’re improving, mon-keigh.” She says, her arms folded.
You don’t give her a chance to stay on her feet, as you press your attack.

“Zul Mey Gut!”

Esh whirls around, looking for the source of the power. She fell for your trick.

~And he’s watching us all with the eeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeee… of the tiger~

“Wuld Na Kest!” You shoot forward at her and before she can react, you grab her around the waist and snatch her up.
Esh is smiling now, genuinely.

“You learn pretty fast.” She says, breathless.

You are panting hard from the sparing match, but you grin back at her.

“Not so bad for a mon-keigh, eh?”

“Heh, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Esh’s smile fades when she notices you are still holding her, your faces not far apart.

You are very aware of the Eldar girl breathing hard in your arms, and now staring you right in the eyes.

Fuck caution. You tell yourself. You are going for it.
You lean in, and Esh doesn’t retreat.

Your lips meet again, finally, and it is glorious. Esh seems pretty into it, her eyes closed as she puts a hand on your neck.

Both of you are enthralled, perhaps all the built up tension being released.

>>17504959
>Implying that an Eldar would use a song from Terra.

>>17505007

>>17505007
That's not the only thing that's gonna get released.
If you see what I mean (his penis).

>>17505007
>inb4 sneak attack kick to the groin

>>17505007

PEIRCE HER HEAVENS WITH YOUR MIGHTY DRILL!!!!!

>>17505007
I hate the song, but "Kiss Me" by Six Pence None The Richer is too perfect a fit right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0HZIWnugJQ

>>17505007
When suddenly Sheogorath... hey if were using shouts from TES, might as well put in another tibit from TES as well...

>>17505066
Max theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

>>17505097
Oddly enough, I can't help but feel this might be appropiate as well....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1QUv4ERvEw

>>17505097
Why have people not been killed for allowing that to exist?
You may keep liking things I don't like, but I'm still gonna bitch.

Also, I'll see you that and raise you a track that has the line "and you fuck like a volcano".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-4DoFjw3Aw&list=FLoVnUOeBc7U9kRx3Bry9JyA&index=183&featu
re=plpp_video

>my isp in charge of staying up

haha time for Droid

>>17505061
Seconding. She shall feel our throbbing Inquistional Agent rooting out her heresy

>>17505191
Volcano Cannon set to MAXIMUM!

>>17505140
Actually no wait, better yet, this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5i4vHsF00U

With all these videos and premature cellebrations I sense incoming HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>>17505219
We shall fill her with our hot lava

>>17505247
Tenacious D?
This is God telling me I'm old, isn't it?
Feh. No more, I'm going to shut up and let Papa N do his Heretical Love Thing.

You have a feeling Esh was waiting for this.

Maybe more than a feeling, a sense?

You don't pay much attention to that thought either way, too captured by the farseer pressed against you.

She tastes good, something you hadn't expected. You hold her tighter as the two of you continue.

"Ah... Max I..."

You don't let her finish, pressing your lips back against hers.

Only now you can feel something else from her mind, yours entwined with her own.

Panic.

Something wicked this way comes.

>>17505300
CCCOOOCCCAAIIINNNEEE!!!

>Please?

>>17505300
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
FOILED ONCE AGAIN BY RANDOM FUCKS!

>>17505300
>>mfw

>>17505300

The ghost of eldrad. The greatest asshole

>>17505300
Heh, I knew the celebrating was premature.

>>17505300
FUCK!

NOT YANDECRO KNOWN AS TONYA!

>>full of win

And damn you papa, making me choose between Heretical Love and job training

>>implying there was even a choice

>>17505366
She shall be subdued!

... and then... HUEHUEHUEHUE

>>17505415
To hell with the cron, dismantle and dispose of with extreme prejudice.

>>17505300
>Something wicked this way comes.
Intended?

"Max..." She says again, this time the urgency in her voice carrying through.

"I feel it too, what is that?"

Esh's face turns white, and she whips around to stare off at some nearby grassy hills. Her hands continue to hold you tightly, no longer out of passion, but out of fear.

"Run..." She whispers.

"...We have to run! Now!"

She points, and you follow her gaze.

The grass on the hill is dying, curling up and fading to a dirty brown.

"What is it?" You set her down and pick up your axe.

"I don't know, I couldn't feel it until just now..." Her voice trails off, as though the words are caught in her throat.

"It's him." She finally whimpers.

"Malice."

You can sense something yourself now, dark and terrible. Headed right at you.

I am suspicious... why the early warning Papa?

Something is up...

>>17505430
none who threaten our harem shall survive.

>>17505463
FUCK.
DISENGAGE.

>>17505463
Remember to get our axe, and got out of here.

Rolling for hauling ass! Pick up esh and carry her to safety.

>>17505463
Get our axe and run!

[ ] Heed her warning and run.

[ ] Stay and see what it is exactly.

GRAB THE AXE AND FUCK HIM UP. CALL IN DOOMRIDER.

>>17505528
[X] Heed her warning and run.

RUN YOU FOOLS!

[X] fight in the name of THE EMPERAH!

since hes your bro now, and you have the military's backing from what it looks like, sounds like even if we go, exterminatus will be had on this foul being.

>>17505528
[x]RUN LIKE HELL

>>17505528
[x] Heed her warning and run.

Fly, you fools!

[X] Stay and see what it is exactly.

AXE AND OR MINDBULLET

>>17505528
[X] Stay and see what it is.

Be ready to call in Doomrider. Also arm plasma cannon and ready axe, and focus mind for mind bullets.

>>17505528
I rejected these options and chose the impossible.
I chose,
>[X] COCAINE

>>17505579
and then you became Dr. Rockso.

>>17505528
[ ] Stay and see what it is exactly.
You never know who it could be.... Maybe a certain god like being of pure crazy

>>17505528
Run mothafucka!

>>17505528

[ ] Heed her warning and run.

Run fer' it!

>>17505528

FLY YOU FOOLS

>>17505589
KUKUKUYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[ ] run away

We shoulda done the training sooner!

Gentlemen, seriously.

WHEN HAS RUNNING AWAY SOLVED ANYTHING FOR US?

[x] Stay and see what it is.

>>17505579

>[X] COCAINE

Or more sane...sling Esh over the shoulder and run, RUN LIKE THE WIND! And call for back-up...DOOOOOOMRIIIIIDEEEEEEERRRRRrrrrr

>>17504392
>[x]COCAINE!!!!

alternatively
[x]pick Esh up like the boss soldier in power armor you are, and then run like a muthafucka

>[x]COCAINE!!!!

>>17505620
Bah, everyone is going to run away...

Preparing to be caught like a fish, and get our shit wrecked. Again.

>And then everybody did the dinosaur

>[x]COCAINE
FOR THE GOOD OF ALL OF US...
...except the ones who are
>DEAD

Pick up esh, run away, and call in air strike from inquisitor darkhammer

RUN LITTLE NIGGER!

WE WILL STAND AND FIGHT.
[X] Stay and see what it is exactly.

After all knowledge is power.

>>17505528
[X] Heed her warning and RUN MOTHERFUCKER!

rolled 9 = 9

Goddammit, every time we start to make something happen with Esh, some faggot comes and fucks it up.

[X] Stay and see what it is exactly.

Or alternatively
>[X] COCAINE

You grab Esh's hand tightly in your own. If she says you should run, you should probably run.

"C'mon lets get out of here!"

You give her a tug and the two of you break into a sprint. Esh's short frame isn't quite fast enough to keep up with you it seems.

You snatch her up in your arm, her own wrapping around your neck as you push yourself as hard as you can.

Looking back, you feel your blood run cold at the sight.

Though the figure on the bike is in the distance, you can tell who it is.

Abbadon revels in his new arms as he watches you flee, knowing you won't be able to outrun his bike. He is going to enjoy ripping you apart with his new arms, slowly, and perhaps after violating that Eldar in front of you.

>>17505725
FUCKING. CALL. DOOMRIDER.
THERE ARE MOTORCYCLES INVOLVED.

>>17505725
...we need our own bitchin' bike.

>>17505725
BEAR LEAVES, DOOM RIDER, EMPS, SOMETHING!

>>17505725
CALL DOOMRIDER

Get him the finger, aim for the tiers.

hah just abbadon!? max bested him once before without custom power armor, a nemesis force axe, and a Admech arm

>>17505725
Whirlwind sprint!

Fuck your Bike Abbadon.

>>17505725
Summon doomrider.

Ask if he can set us up with some sort of warp bike like his.

Then slap Abbadon's shit in a tag team bike joust with doomrider.

>>17505725

Doomrider. He is needed.

>>17505768
Sure...but then Abaddon wasn't on NIGHTMARE FUEL MALAL POWER...Max need SOMETHING or ANYTHING to get an hand up. ...

Orks? Yandnecron? Delfdar? Anyone?

Guys. GUYS.

This isn't the Abaddon we knew. As of now, he is infused with the power of Malal, a blessing of a god. Something he did not really have before. I doubt we can beat him as we are now.

I watch them as they kiss. This guy doesn't seem to mind being with xenos.

I feigned shock, disgust.

The truth is, I'm glad the Emperor is pursuing peace. As good as I am, and though I would never admit it to anyone, I don't like killing most xenos.

Am I feeling jealous? The thought of a girl of my own is... Hmm... Am I xeno curious?

My interest is perked when they start to run. It almost looks like they are panicked. That's odd, they both seemed to want to kiss.

Shifting my rifle, I search intently with the scope to where the Eldar points.

Oh, that might be why.

I've seen pictures of the warmaster before, but I never expected to see him alive. Or with arms.

His warbike looks fast.

Not that it matters, I'm not going to let him get to Max... Or the Eldar.

1d6 for shooting skills

Eight hits on a 2+

>>17505792
I actually never paid attention to the background of this picture before.
> mountains of cocaine

rolled 4 = 4

>>17505819
1d6?

rolled 6 = 6

>>17505819

rolled 6 = 6

>>17505819
HGN! ACTIVATE MIGHTY DICE POWERS

rolled 5 = 5

>>17505819

Shield Breaker Round Chambered. . . Boomheadshot in 3. . .2. . .

>>17505848
>>17505843
>>17505835
Ridiculousness

FUCK THAT! were by the beach. Tine to aggravate fish God.

rolled 1 = 1

DONT FAIL ME NOW DICE GODS!

MAY TZEENTCH BLESS THIS ROLL!

The dice gods are with us!

>>17505848
Holy shit that worked

>>17505891
JUST AS PLANNED

>>17505891
HAW FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU TZEENTCH!

(sage to keep down the postcount)

>>17505891 all according to plan

The 6 cancels out the 1 right?.. Right..?

FUCK YES! Fuck you abaddon! you and your new arms.

>on 1d6 I count the first roll, nice one

Hmph, all too easy.

The exitus rifle cracks its familiar sound, and I smirk.

Poor bastard, bike looked almost brand new.

The shot catches it in the engine, hope he likes incendiary rounds.

Cue fireball.

I keep watching as Abbadon rolls to a stop, pushing himself off the ground and howling furiously as he slaps the fire off of himself.

A bolt round slams into a rock two feet to my left. I notice the bolter in Abbadon's hand clattering away at me.

Time to go... Good luck, Max. I toss him a small salute before leaving my perch.


"Thank you based Eight!" You yell as you watch Abbadon's bike explode over your shoulder.

Esh relaxes a bit as you keep running, you've got enough of a headstart that there is no way he can catch you now.

"What the hell was that just now?" Esh asks up at you as you push yourself as hard as you can, which in this new armor means you are practically flying.

"Friend of mine." You grin.

"Nice of him to show up." Esh, though trembling, smiles back at you.

>>17505843
>>17505848
>mfw I am currently listening to holding out for a hero
>mfw i have no face, seriously where the hell are my reaction images?

>>17505950
>only counts the first roll
Well, at least we avoided nat 1 huehuehue

>>17505950
>Nat 1 on the last roll.
>Papa N doesn't troll us. At all.

Who are you and what did you do with the real Papa N?

We have to set up VIII with a nice, sexy eldar girl as s token of gratitude.

>>17506000

He's saving it for later.
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

“Yeah, good thing we didn’t kill each other when we first met.”
You keep running, though feeling less and less urgent as the sense of impending doom fades.

Esh laughs, out of relief, and so do you.

“Why is it we never get any breaks?” She muses after several minutes of silence.

“I dunno.” You admit.

“Kind of sucks though, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah…” She sinks into you and you slow down, far from any danger now.

You set her down, and she brushes the sand you kicked up off of herself.

“So much for training on the beach…” She mutters as she dumps sand out of her boot.

“Yeah, but it was fun while it lasted.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” She grins back at you.

You can’t help but smile back. Even if you didn’t want to, one look like that from this red haired farseer would be enough to make you. You take her beauty for granted, it really is stunning.

“You look hungry.” Esh muses.

“I am.”

“Well how about I cook you something?”

“That… Doesn’t sound bad, actually.”

The two of you continue along a winding path through waist-high reeds, both of you staying alert despite your senses telling you that its safe. Well, relatively considering this is Yagis V.

“What do you want to eat?”

[ ] Lets go fishing.

[ ] How about we go to your ship for something?

[ ] There is a town nearby, lets search that for food.

>>17506098
Town.

>>17506098
[X] Fishing
We are the best fisherman

>>17506098
Fishing, I say we finish what we started o so long ago.

>>17506098
Let's go fishing, I still haven't tasted that ass-fish.

>>17506098
[ ] There is a town nearby, lets search that for food.

>>17506098
[ ] Lets go fishing.
We don't need another encounter with the giant fish.

[ ] How about we go to your ship for something?
The ship full of cockblocking psyker? Nope.

[x] There is a town nearby, lets search that for food.

>>17506098
[ ] There is a town nearby, lets search that for a bed... I MEAN FOOD

WE ARE BEST FISHERMAN

[x] "Where were we?" Lets finish tgat kiss like the suave muthafucka we are

also, shes not acting tsundere atm
>[x] THE ONLY FOOD I NEED IS YOUR PUSSY.

>>17506169
/tg/ staying classy I see

[x] FISHING!

We have leveled up, it's go time.

Round 2, fight!

>>17506098
[x] Go get our axe. We have a godfish to behead.

>>17506137
No, we WANT another encounter with the fish. Last time was a draw.
>>17506169
The hell are you smoking, and can I get some?

“Well, I feel like some fish tacos maybe?” Max used Joke!

“Alright, let’s go fishing!”

…It’s not very effective.

The two of you walk out to the ocean, though you are now far away from where you left Abbadon. Hopefully he doesn’t show up and cockblock you again, seems like he enjoys doing that.

You slowly take Esh’s hand in your own, she doesn’t protest but you can see her cheeks get slightly pink. How weird, she was just playing tongue hockey with you earlier.

Blue ocean sparkles and shines in front of you, contrasting starkly with the fine white sand under your boots. It’s a great view.

Esh’s skirt hits you in the face.

“Keep your armor on if you want, but I’m not going to.”

Esh is now stripped down to her white bikini undersuit, hands on her hips as she smirks at you. This view is better.

“Well… I don’t know…” You protest, unsure.

“Take it off you wuss!” She grins, pulling on your gauntlet.

[ ] Take off the armor

[ ] Leave it on

>>17506329

[X] Take off the armor

I see absolutely no problems with this plan.

>>17506329
Take it off, We are THE BEST FISHERMAN! We do not need the trappings of an excessive technological society to beat some measly god-fish!

>>17506329

[x] Take off the armor

We bested the god fish without it last time. It hardly seems fair if we are in armour

>also, we wont have to take it off and kill the mood with Esh later.

>>17506366
...This seems reasonable, I cannot forsee anyother possible outcome.
[X] Take off the armour

rolled 18 = 18

>>17506372

>facepalm on the roll
re rollan

>>17506329
[ ]Take it off, laugh at the face of the death! Fish using only right hand to level the battle field for the fishgod.

>ogad "What
Don't worry captcha, Max will be All alright.

NO.
SCRAP THIS BULLSHIT.

[x] Keep it on, we came to battle!

I wonder if max is small enough that there's enough room in the armor for Esh to fit in with max

I wonder how Esh is going to react to the missing/new arm...

“All right, all right, calm down.”

Esh seems excited, already grabbing at you. You aren’t going to protest, it’s nice seeing her like this for once.

The first thing you do is set the axe aside, sinking it blade-first down into the sand next to Esh’s spear.

You start fiddling with the armor, trying to disengage different pieces.

“Can I give you a hand?” Esh asks.

“Go for it.”

The Farseer smiles and hums quietly to herself as she starts disengaging your armor. The pieces start coming off quickly, and she sets them aside as she works.

“Hey, you’re pretty good at this.” You think out loud.

“Well yeah, it’s not the first time I’ve done it.” She replies.

>>17506454
You've had to help take off apart human style power armor before?

>>17506454
wait wat?

THE PARTRIDGES HAVE CLAIMED OUR GLORY AGAIN!!!

CURSE YOU!!!

>Tp/T1 ndcian
>wtf is up with you captcha?

>>17506454
Jealousy mode kicking in: Wait what?!

>>17506454

You... You've been purged before?

SO she does have a taste for Mon-keighs

“Huh?”

She punches you in the shoulder, though lightly.

“Get your head out of the gutter, idiot mon-keigh. I’ve helped disarm some prisoners before is all.”

“Oh. Right. My bad.”

“Ohohoho? Were you jealous there for a minute?” She teases you.

“N-not really!”

Finally she gets the last section off, dropping it near her stuff.

“Hah, as if I would grace a mon-keigh other than you with my presence. Consider yourself lucky I do it for you.”

You frown and reach out suddenly, grabbing her and pulling her closer to you.

“Max what are you… Wait! No! Ahhhahahahaha! Stop!”

You tickle her even as you trap her hands behind her back with one of your own. She squirms and struggles, but you are physically stronger and don’t let go. She can’t escape.

“Please! No more!” Esh’s face is contorted in laughter.

You pause for a moment.

“No brakes.”

Before beginning your assault anew, even more intense.
Esh’s face is in tears now, she’s laughing so hard she can barely breath. As much as she struggles, you can sense she’s having fun.

Suddenly you are thrown backwards by psychic energies, landing head-first into the sand.

Esh rushes over to you and pulls you up.

“Err… Sorry, kinda just slipped out.” She laughs between heavy breaths.

>>17506576
Steal a kiss while she's distracted, let no opening in the defense be unexploited!

>>17504823
>DIIVON DAAR!
>SWALLOW THIS!

“Anyways…” She says, coughing into her fist.

“Let’s catch something before it gets too dark to find firewood.”

You let her lead you back to where she’s laid out two fishing rods, where she got them, you still don’t know or understand.

“You know I’m going to tickle the fuck out of you later, right?” You say as both of you pick up a rod.

She thwaps you with hers, lightly.

“You can try.” Esh smirks.

You smirk back. Bitch is going to piss herself laughing, she doesn’t even know.

“You had better not, I won’t forgive you if you make me wreck this suit.” She replies to your thoughts.

“Bah, you'll see. Now stand back, I’mma let you finish but I’m the greatest fisherman of all time. OF ALL TIME!”

1d20 for fishing.

>>17505090
Sheogorath should be Malal's envoy. It only makes perfect sense.

rolled 13 = 13

>>17506630
Let our fishing rod pierce the depths

rolled 17 = 17

>>17506630
THE BEST FISHERMAN!

rolled 11 = 11

>>17506630
BEST
FISHERMAN

rolled 12 = 12

>>17506630
Fishin. Boom boom boom.

rolled 6 = 6

>>17506630
WE ARE THE BEST FISHERMAN

>>17506665
egad what have I done?

>soniamdissapoint.jpg

rolled 17 = 17

Let's rock.

rolled 12 = 12

>>17506670
No worries brah.
here comes the nat 1

rolled 16 = 16

>>17506630
OF ALL TIME!!

rolled 11 = 11

Fish for the fish god

>>17506630
FISHTHULU SHALL RISE!

>>17506670
You rolled a 6 after someone rolled a 13 first?

rolled 16 = 16

>>17506630
FISHTHULU SHALL RISE!

rolled 3 = 3

>>17506630
They see me rollin'

rolled 2 = 2

They see me rollin'

rolled 14 = 14

>>17506707
I SUMMON THE MIGHTY FISHTHULU

Round two fish god monster!

I want to be best fisherman.

rolled 15 = 15

>>17506726
>>17506719
I'm certainly hatin'

rolled 12 = 12

>>17506745
Forgot my dice.

rolled 4 = 4

Papa, don't type until we get a 20. Or a one.

rolled 13 = 13

THERE SHALL BE NO BRAKES!

rolled 7 = 7

>>17506630
Why do I get the feeling that people are going to keep rolling untill a 20 appears and inevitably get nothing but 1s?

rolled 1 = 1

>>17506744
I don't think I should roll after I forgot, bad luck an all, but I like to roll for some reason.

>>17506768
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

rolled 11 = 11

>>17506768
well, i can see the bad luck

rolled 7 = 7

>>17506768
You bastard.

>>17506768

Well fuck. We are worst fisherman.

rolled 2 = 2

>>17506768
What have you done!

rolled 6 = 6

>>17506763
>implying we'll catch a squid girl

rolled 2 = 2

>>17506768
Shit my bad, you know what they say "in for a penny in for a pound".

rolled 15 = 15

we are fucked.

rolled 18 = 18

>>17506768

rolled 17 = 17

BASTARDS ROLLING 1 AND STUFF!

NOT ON MY TURN!

BE OVERTLY MANLY AND DECLARE VICTORY BEFORE YOU ROLL, IT'S THE ONLY WAY!

rolled 5 = 5

rolling another nat 1

rolled 14 = 14

>Nat ones are back in town
>mfw

rolled 18 = 18

>>17506768
now it's a REAL Heretical Love thread

contributin

rolled 19 = 19

You fucking assholes

rolled 3 = 3

Rolling

rolled 9 = 9

Posting with the The Emperor's grace.

rolled 20 = 20

>>17506792
Guys get this, first roll I did I got a one, second was a two, so this is three. If I keep going I'll get 20.

rolled 9 = 9

Woah moma, there's a whole lota heresy in this thread.

rolled 2 = 2

WE ARE THE GREATEST FISHERMAN, NOTHING CAN TAKE THIS FROM US

>>17506831
YES!

rolled 20 = 20

>>17506630
All we can do now is digg ourselves out of this hole

>>17506831
>>17506840
WE HAVE TWO 20's, stop rolling

rolled 3 = 3

>>17506840
You seem to dig quite well Sir.

rolled 3 = 3

>>17506831
YESSSSSS

You stare hard out over the crashing waves in front of you. You know this sight well.

“Heaven or hell, fishfag, lets rock!”

With a mighty cast you propel your worm out into the choppy waters, as far as you can get it. The bait lands with a plunk and sinks quickly into the depths.

“Well, you sure seem confident this time.” Esh laughs, before casting out her own line, only a fraction as far as you winged yours.

“I’m not confident, I’m assured. I will win round two.” You hold your pole stoutly, waiting for what is to come.
Only you keep waiting.

And waiting…

“I’m actually quite surprised you have the patience for this.” You tell Esh as you lean back against a rock, still without so much as a nibble.

“Don’t be. If I wanted to make it easy for myself I could just use my mind to help out.” She leans over on your shoulder as she says it.

Her warm skin feels nice against your own, and her hair blowing lightly in the wind skips gently on your chest.

“Hey Max, what do you think of the Eldar?” She finally asks, luring you out of your happy daze.

“You guys seem pretty cool, maybe a bit aloof, but cool.” You don’t lie, she would pick up on that.

“Hmm… Yeah we probably are, aren’t we…”

“Yeah yo…” But you don’t have time to finish the sentence.

With the force of a thousand suns, you are ripped off the beach. Your arms are nearly dislocated at the shoulders, your mechanical arm whines from the sudden stress.

Something is dragging you!

You try to let go, and find yourself snagged in the mechanism of your reel.

You aren't even left with enough time to take a good breath as you are plunged into the icy sea, your chest hits something and forces the last of the air from your lungs.

Ra'alman's terrible maw grins up at you.

"Welcome, mortal. Welcome again to my lair."

rolled 5 = 5

>>17506831
>>17506840

YESSSSS!

>>17506840
>>17506831
Everything is better then expected. BECAUSE FUCKING FISHING! IF IT AIN'T FISHING WE EXCEL IN, THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL KILL OURSELVES!

rolled 16 = 16

>>17506831
>>17506840
BEACH PARTY TIME

>>17506768
>>17506821
>>17506831

And now we have it. The posts are aligned, the correct numbers called.

la la la! Fishthulu shall rise from the depths! la la la!

LET'S DO THIS YOU MASSIVE FAGGOT!

HEAVEN OR HELL!

LET'S ROCK!

>>17506860
LETS DO THIS.

rolled 16 = 16

>>17506860
This time you had better cough up something better than ass-fish when I beat your punk ass.

>>17506860
IT BEGINS!

>>17506860

It's on like Orky Kong, motherfucker!

Heretical Love Quest: LET'S DO THIS! Edition.

>>17506860
...


Wait.

Fishfag could speak?

>>17506860

This lake is too small for the two of us!

Your lungs are burning, your mind panicking from the sudden lack of oxygen.

This is bad.

This is real bad.

Ra’alman rushes you suddenly, his fiery red eyes all you can track, darkness forming at the corners of your vision.

You manage to dodge, but just barely.

He is going to come around for another attack, and you are dragged along with him, still stuck to the rod.

You can’t even attempt to swim to the surface.

[ ] Lasfinger, bitch!

[ ] Dragon shout, motherfucker!

[ ] I’mma drown before you can eat me, asshat!

rolled 7 = 7

>>17506860
LET'S DO IT

[X] Dragon shout, motherfucker!

Let's show him what a guardsman who went through a montage can do!

>>17506916
[X] Lasfinger, bitch!
SHINING FINGER!

>>17506916

BLAM the shit out of 'em

>>17506916
[] dragon shout.... Underwater?

[X] DRAGON SHOUT UNDERWATER!

>>17506916
>[X] I’mma drown before you can eat me, asshat!

It's drowning time!

No not really.
Although, some how I wonder just how well either of the options work under water...
[ ] Lasfinger, bitch!

[X] Dragon shout, motherfucker!

Guess we give the training a work out, and hope we don't choke.

>>17506916
[x] Dragon shout, motherfucker!

FUS ROH DAH!

>>17506916
Running out of air, can't risk a Fus ro dah underwater.

[ ] Lasfinger, bitch!

>>17506916
Dragon shout, we could make a small air bubble or something. Besides we have to shout this thing into submission, true Dovakiin style.

Why are we just using the Lasfinger? Don't we have a flamer AND a Plasma gun in our hand?

>>17506916
FUS RO DAH time gentlemen.

Thought, are we lightning proof?

rolled 8 = 8

>>17506942
What could possibly go wrong?

DIIVON DAAR

>>17506916
>[x] I'mma drown!
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/charts/niconico/player.php?vid=sm13870194

I thought we would have learned by now, there are two things you dont do while committing heretical love.

1. You don't mess with the necrons.
2. You don't go fishing

>>17506988
>Not having balls of steel against god fish
HERESY!

>>17506988

You forgot.

3. Don't try to fight Kaleshi.

rolled 8 = 8

>>17506988
newfag detected

WE FISH AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY!!

>rollan for dragonshout

>>17506916
[X ] Dragon shout, motherfucker!

>>17506988
What?

No, my dear fellow gentleman.

The only thing you don't do - without backup - is run away from fight.

rolled 7 = 7

Maybe he just want a friend?

>newfriend

enjoy your fishrapevore scene. That's papa-N's fetish :(

[X ] I’mma drown before you can eat me, asshat!

LASFINGER MOFOS

>>17507035
WE SHALL DIE UNDEFEATED!!!

>necrons don't count cause we where never given the chance to fight

why the shit are we not laz fingering shit?
seriously guys we fus-ro-dah and we drown, if we try to drown it becomes fish rape vore.
therefore lazfinger is the best option.

Gathering up every ounce of energy you posses, you turn to Ra’alman, who is coming around for a second attack.

“FUS ROH DAHHHH!!!” You shout, harder than you ever have.

The force of the attack throws you backwards, breaking you free from the reel in the process. You are sailing upwards, Ra’alman having barely been pushed away.

You breach the surface, drawing a long breath, a relief.
Something reaches down and grabs you by the arm. You grunt as it pulls you into a small wooden ship.

The boat is rocking and swaying hard in the mad waves, the sky overhead an almost pitch black storm.

An old man is the only other one in the small vessel. His dark tanned completion looking you over, he doesn’t appear to be in his right mind, muttering to himself as he bites the head off of a lizard and swallows it.

“Row row row your boat, gently down the streeaaammmm!!!!” The old man cackles through his long scraggly beard, his eyes alight with a crazy fire.

He continues to sing as he thrusts a nasty looking harpoon into your hands. Despite spitting up water and breathing heavily, you act on instinct and take the weapon.

“Hey man, get us the fuck out of here!” You yell at him, hoping to somehow break through all that crazy.

“Merrily merrily LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!!!!”

Doesn’t appear to have worked…

“All my life the early sun has hurt my eyes!” The old man yells as the ship rides out a particularly nasty wave, that splashes both of you with water.

“Eighty four days now without taking a fish!”

The storm crackles with lightning overhead, and the old man laughs along with it, babbling something incoherent as he swerves the ship left and right with the rudder.

Ra’alman leaps from the water, rearing his ugly head as he screams, filling the air with that inhuman wail.

You grab the harpoon tightly, you are only going to get one shot at this.

1d20 for slaying moby dick

rolled 7 = 7

>>17507107
I KNEW IT WAS A MOBY DICK REFERENCE

>also rollan

>>17507107
die mother fucker die!

rolled 5 = 5

>>17507130

DELETE YOUR GODDAMN POST NOW

rolled 11 = 11

>>17507107
Boom.

Headshot.

rolled 15 = 15

>>17507107
FOR GLORY!

rolled 5 = 5

TIME FOR VICTORY

rolled 3 = 3

>>17507107
WHITE WHALE, HOLY GRAIL!

>>17507130
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Roll that nat1

You know you want it

You know you want to fuck that fish

rolled 13 = 13

>>17507148
FOR THE EMPRAH