>>17274776
Well, that didnt turn out well.

Awwww, we didn't get to help them murder all the partridges!

Well, considering he could have easily caved our skull in he wanted, I'd say this is the start of a wonderful friendship.

Damn it Papa, what made you choose that pic? Spilled my drink over here.

>>17274816
This is true, honestly, but your over analytical nature may lead to some terribly effective trolling from the big papa

Hey Papa-N and gang, heres the WIP as promised. I was thinking of using cultist-chan and kayoos as the ones helping up abaddon. would appreciate more references though, or links.

Powerfist to face. Well, that went better than expected. For now.

That said, on a completely different note, from a link from the Galactic Partridges' 1d4chan page, I've gotten suckered into listening to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMqXWPZqNuc&t=1m10s
... No wonder it's their theme song...

>>17274776

Well, fist instead of sword, so this is already going better than I would have guessed.

I just hope my fears concerning the Partridge's thirst for vengeance-fueled glory stealing against your bitches are wrong.

>>17274846
Shit, wrong pic. Thats the harpy thing.

Man, why'd we screw with a guy named Harry Partridge?
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE HARRY PARTRIDGE DOESN'T LIKE.

>>17274829
ohohohoho, trust me, he doesn't need my analysis for that.

>>17274867
Looks good, can't wait to see it finished. I'll probably use it as an OP pic when its done if that is cool by you.

“Go to hell Harry you fuck, I’ve killed your little minion over here.” Logan shouts at the very surprised Partridges.

He holds your limp body up as proof.

Harry smirks, shrugs, and chuckles coldly.

“I don’t give a damn about some guardsman, I just cherish the look on your face any time I beat you.”

Logan sets your body down.

“You beat no one today, shit bird.” The Great Wolf replies.

“Really? Well, the hive worlds will be buzzing with news of my great victory here today, so it sure seems like I did.”

A thunderhawk bearing the markings of the Wolves circles once overhead, before slowing to land.

“I’m going to kill you myself, one of these days.” Grimnar mutters.

“You can try.” Harry sneers back.

>>17274880
True enough, it IS a fairly basic logic conclusion, but Im talking about other things.

well, at least we have our teeth. and our dignity.

>>17274891
We're not gonna get the Hat back are we.

so I have gone through the archive, and found NO bolter bitch hair for SDT. this is SEVERELY disappointing.
Heresy releated

well, if they truly think us dead, just another guardsman to fill the droves, we just might have gotten out of problems concerning droppods falling from the sky as soon as we singlehandedly beat a Bloodthirster into submission.

Thank you, Grimnar.

the 'tridges think we're dead, and the wolves aint killed us yet.

>>17274925
Yeah, having them think we're dead was actually a really good outcome. It was actually nice of him to knock us out.

>>17274901

We don't even know if the Partridges actually have it. We most LIKELY lost it in the Tomb, where it MOST likely...

...was picked up by that necron who saved us.

...

>>17274925
and the partridges have hat-chan. we're screwed.

>>17274933
told you theyd be bro's

>>17274942
GOD DAMNIT, WE GOTTA GO BACK FOR HAT CHAN
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING MIKA AGAIN

You awaken with a pained grunt, grabbing at the ice pack on your face.

“Man, I am really getting sick of that.” You groan.

“Be grateful I didn’t use my axe.”

You pull the pack aside, Logan Grimnar and a dozen or so Space Wolves stand around you. You seem to be lying on some kind of fur in a cave.

“Where are we?”

“Not far from the site of the battle, I’m surprised you can talk actually.” One of the Wolves remarks.

“Why is that…?”

“Well, we strapped your body to the side of the ‘hawk. Had to make your death look convincing and all.”

You grimace at the pain on your back, the stub of your arm, a plethora of cuts and bruises. You are ragged.

“Well, thanks for that at least.”

Logan shakes his head.

“Don’t thank us yet, we haven’t decided if we should kill you or not yet.”

>>17274942
...fuck.

>>17274960
>“Don’t thank us yet, we haven’t decided if we should kill you or not yet.”

Aw Fuck.
We Just Want to get our fucking hat back

rolled 4 = 4

rolling for speech

"no, I cannot die. my quest to bed unworthy women is not yet over, my carnal desires unfulfilled. I will not rest until many a xeno has been prodded by my Imperial Wrath!"

wait, if Douglasscron has the hat, we might be cool
>pilobti Imperial's
pardon, captcha?

>>17274960
"You know, you should really just off that bastard harry already, hes a real dick."

>>17274988
He didnt prompt you for a roll. be gratefull that wasnt a 1 or a 2, or hed count it

>>17274982
Then we tell them exactly that. Space Wolves can respect determination. Especially if said determination is connected to Relics Warriorhood (The Hat) and getting laid.

Let's tell 'em a few stories! Like that time we tjosted with Motherfuckin DOOMRIDER

Alright. First things first, we need to find the hat. Ask the Wolves. If they don't know, then back to the tomb.

If we don't find it there, then the Partridges are next. Fuck it, if needed, drop a battlebarge on them, but get back the hat.

>>17275003
OH HELL YEAH, THIS! SECONDED LIKE FUCK!

>>17275003
While i do believe Wolves like getting laid, i'm not sure they enjoy the act of getting laid with Xenos

>>17275003
Show them the hate-texts you've been getting from you-know-who. THAT will be impressive.

>>17275018
we dont have to tell them about that. Maybe we can warn them about the master cockblocker, tell the story where we one shotted doomrider then proceded to become bros with him, other such shit

>>17275019
FUCK
YES

>>17275019
This

>>17275028
>tell the story where we one shotted doomrider then proceded to become bros with him
Then again, this maybe not be the best story

>>17275049
>>17275034
>>17275019

who's you-know-who?

>>17275051
OK, just the part where we defeated him in one shot

>>17275051
How about the story where we jousted with Doomrider? Or the time we fucked up Failbaddon's day? (They might not believe us on that one.)

>>17275061
Abbaddon, i think?

>>17275066
They will when we show him all that hate mail

>>17275061
Abbadon.
Hate texts:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17073735/
Reason why he hates us:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17067317/

>>17275078
How the fuck is he texting us if he has NO ARMS?!

>>17275066
>Implying that Jousting with Doomrider and surviving is a believable thing, coming from a guardsmen

>>17275078
derp. i thought it was from the eldar, due to her tsundere-ness and denying to herself that she likes max.

>>17275085
Exactly how he was clapping with no arms
actually, his minions are doing it
but yeah, we tell them how we fucked up abbadon and show them the hate text
now THAT is impressive

GUYS! GUYS! SERIOUSELY!

LET US TELL THEM THE STORY, OF HOW WE EMULATED THEIR PRIMARCH, LEMAN RUSS, BY FISHING THE GOD-FISH!

and letting it go so that it may grow up someday...

>>17275085
Pure will
>>17275094
But seriously, we need things with proof, i find it hard they would believe that

>>17275078
Worse yet than being caught perhaps, Abbadon somehow obtained my personal communicator frequency. He has been spamming my textual box with death threats and pictures of… Terrible, terrible things of the most damaging kind. He is kind of a dick.
>Somehow, miraculously, you clear the chasm. When you looked down mid-jump you notice Abbadon screaming up at you furiously, as a horde of his followers all text away furiously, still filling your inbox.

>>17275094
OK
WE TELL THEM TWO STORIES
HOW WE TANGLED WITH NO ARMOR OR AIR TANK WITH A LOVECRAFTIAN HORRORFISH, AND DEFEATED IT
AND HOW WE FUCKED UP ABBADON, USING THE TEXTS AS PROOF

>>17275109
Sorry, both of those should be greentexted.

>>17275106
if we prove how we fucked up "the embodiement of heresy himself" they sure as hell may just believe that we fistfought a non euclidian monstrosity

>>17275109
>Abbadon screaming up at you furiously, as a horde of his followers all text away furiously, still filling your inbox.
Oh that is a glorious image.

the sororita was there when we facepunched abby the first time. and the techpriestess was there when we did it the second time. thats firsthand proof of our awesomeness, from two reputable sources. and a sister of battle no less.

>>17275126
Yes
YES
AND, THOSE TEXTS
IT SHALL BE UNDENIABLE HOW BADASS WE ARE

>>17275126
Very nice! Totally forgot about the respectable Imperial eyewitnesses.

But really now, i'm not even sure why we're discussing this, PapaN didn't wanted our say in this one apparently

PAPA?! PAPA, WHERE ARE YOU?

My F5 key shall never forgive me

The Space Wolves look down at you solemnly.

“He’s right, we probably should just do him in and be done with all of this.” A younger Wolf says, hefting his chainsword.
Logan’s hand pushes the hilt of the sword back down.

“Perhaps another time, but not today. We’ve got work to do, brothers, we don’t have time to fret away on guardsmen.”

“Great Wolf, his personal communicator.”

You jolt back upright, shit, you have a bunch of really fucking heretical shit on that.

“Dark Eldar… You have some… Interesting tastes…” Logan muses as he looks at the small screen.

“Yeah well, you kill an Archon and all kinds of crazy shit happens.” You tell them, laying back down.

The Wolves erupt in laughter.

“You? Kill an Archon? HAH! That joke alone was worth sparing your life!” The Space Wolves continue to laugh.

The one operating your communicator holds up a hand, his face ashen.

“Great Wolf, you need to see this…”

He puts the screen in front of Logan again, who’s brow furrows as he leans in close to the device.

“Hmm, very interesting. Tell me, guardsman, you’ve seen the Warmaster here? Personally?” Logan asks, as he reads some of the hate mail.

“I’ve done more than see him, I gave him a nice little cut on the face and killed one of his defilers.”

The Wolf tosses the device down onto your chest.

“Absolute lies, but a funny story at least.”

The Space Wolves file out of the cave, leaving you alone with Grimnar, who stares at you as though contemplating what to do next.

“I have a feeling we might meet again, maybe you can tell us more stories the next time we do.”

He sets something down beside you, and departs.

You roll your head to look.

A bolt pistol lays next to you, complete with the insignia of the Space Wolves.

Whatever, you are going to get some sleep.

>>17275151
... He's doing one of two things...
Dealing with an unexpected distraction...
Or...
Fiendishly writing up something so horrible that our very minds will melt...
I can here it now, the terrible song that will end the world...
>huehuehueheuHueHueHueHueHUEHUEHUEHUE....

>>17275173
HOLY FUCKING HELL
YES
YEEESSSSS

>>17275181
Or just finishing up that part of the story...
>hear* not here... god my spelling is going all to hell today.

>>17275173
but what does it /mean/?

>>17275173
Well, Papa N.
according to this thread, we're still in 66 replies...
Is too early to end it here.

are we done for tonight, and its time for some after action heresy? or shall overtime extend further? We never got our hat back. Or our arm...

>>17275202
we've impressed the space wolves AND avoided partridgization via they think we're dead. good end.

When you finally awaken, you almost wish you hadn’t. You are freezing cold, shivering badly. Even worse, you know it’s pretty warm outside.

Your bandages are blotted with blood that has soaked through, and you feel pretty faint.

Could this day get any worse?

Your stomach growls.

Of course it can…

[ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

[ ] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.

>>17275228
AdMech
NOW

>>17275228
BACK TO MIKA, WE STILL DONT HAVE OUR ARM

To the stronghold!

>>17275228
[X] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.

[ ] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.

>[x] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.

Our arm still needs seeing to. We never asked for this.

>>17275228
>[ ] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.
Now is not the time for new adventures. They had medical bots, AND SHE IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON TO GIVE US A NEW ARM!

>>17275228
FIRST...
FIRST, get our HAT back! SEARCH THE TOMB!

Admech stronghold, I don't fancy killing orks with one arm

[x] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

Lets get us a wingman

[X] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet

TITTIES AND AN ARM

[x] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

>>17275228
back to the admech,
we need a techno-arm for our new handcannon

>>17275250
We Need to get Armed first.

See what i did there?

>>17275228
Sorry, I don't think anyone is interested in Max getting horribly raped by orks testing out their new (and, of course, oversized) genitalia.

>>17275250
WE CAN GET OUR HAT WHEN WE HAVE AN ARM TO HOLD OUR SWORD IN, AS WELL AS THE BOLTER
AND I KNOW BY NOW IM NOT THE FIRST TO SAY IT BUT
WE NEVER ASKED FOR THIS

>>17275250
Nigga please, we're already down one arm from the last time. We're not going back until we've got a shiny new appendage.

>[ X] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.

Though I concede with the fact that we might need some additional firepower, brought by a second arm of any variety, to save our hat.

>>17275271
[ ] Head back to the Admech stronghold, though Mika hasn't called you yet.

we need an arm. post haste

>>17275278
Plus, I wanna see how much robot spaghetti falls out of mikas pockets this time

>>17275296
>spaghetti
Can someone explain me, how did this Spaghetti thing started?

admech.

Finally caught up through suptg.
I read though the partridge page, /tg/ need more of them, that shit was hilarious
>john woo drop pods
genius

>>17275313
Yellow wires falling out of her pockets, followed by, "Why am I so bad at this?!" and running off

>>17275313
Some ancient copypasta about being socially awkward.

But if we head to check out da Orks, we might get a Power Klaw

>>17275325
no, i mean in real life

>>17275328
fun fact:contrary to /v/s greentext, it had NOTHING to do with gamestop, and in fact, was not in the neckbeards pockets, but his fanny pack.

>>17275335
Copypasta so old its turned to stone

[x] go see what the orks are up to. I'm still convinced that mika is a heretek, and lets face it, a lingerie forge world probably isnt the best place to get armed.

We could always steal some orkie choppahs or grab some pieces off a mek boy.

>>17275261
>handcannon?

Maxus Aran Decarius,
Galaxies finest bounty hunter

>>17275352
Shes a tech preistess, she WILL KNOW how to get us a new arm. and if that arms designed for handling bras and panties, then FUCK YES.

>>17275352
But she's at the Admech bunker, not the lingerie factory.

>>17275363
Bounty hunter... now THERES a badass job for the 40k universe. hunting down heretics and bringing them to the inquisition. clashing with inqiusition forces, or marine/sororitas forces, other bounty hunters.

>>17275333
Yeah that's kind of what I was getting at, but its too late now.

You dial Mika’s frequency, and let it ring until it goes to voicemail. She must still be out.

Stepping out of the cave, you notice you are quite a ways up a mountainside. From here, you can see the Admech stronghold. It has to be ten miles away at least.

With a groan you heft the bolt pistol holster over your shoulder, the strap digging painfully into your back slightly. You are dressed in just what you had underneath the Space Wolf power armor, which the Wolves must have taken back. A thin tank top and pants with very basic and soft shoes.

It isn’t an easy hike down, and more than once you lose your footing and crash painfully onto the rocks below, barely managing to not roll the rest of the way down.

Finally you reach the base of the mountain, breathing heavily. The bandages soaked with even more blood as it seems your wounds have opened up a bit.

You can’t give up now though, thoughts of soft boobs and warm food filling your head.

“Come on man, get it together.” You mumble as you slowly start making your way into a forest, one you will have to cross through to get to the stronghold.

Unbeknownst to you, something watches from the trees.

admech medic medach admic

rolled 10 = 10

>>17275384
I roll perception

>>17275384

Hat Chan? Is that you?

>>17275384
PowerKlaws are annoying anyway.

>>17275384
already done, imperial commissar with an ork power klaw. Commissar Max leads the way! he doesn't follow in the footsteps of others.

rolled 5 = 5

>>17275409
and im sure most imperial factions would find us having one heretical
we dont wanna get purged when we go back to meet lycheria

>>17275412
especially lesser, inferior commissars,

>>17275384
Maybe that femcron? I thought it was weird she popped up for all of one posts.

in before rape by the dangerous ai as the sentient tank watches.

>>17275420
official rank is for pussies

Its probably for the best that we didnt get the super awesome power klaw. Mika the titty tech priest would frown on the inferior xenos tech :(

You are stumbling now, barely managing to walk in a straight line.

Your world, it seems, has become increasingly difficult to balance on. And darker too.

You mumble something incoherent, you aren’t even sure what you said. You don’t care anyways.

The trees rustle from behind you, and you stumble and fall to a knee as you try to look for the source of the noise.

A black shape drops from a tall tree, landing lightly in front of you.

It looks up, empty eyes of its skull mask meeting your own.

“wwwrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy………” The Eversor gurgles quietly.

>>17275440
Half of mikas entire personality seems like it was designed specifically to torture me. Bit amusin.

>>17275457
Son of a b....

>>17275421
You feel surprising warmth when she hugs you.
" I thought all necrons were... cold? What with the metal and all."

She grins and replies "We are. That's just the feeling of me merging our consciousness together. Forever."

Bad end.

>>17275457

Well fuck me sideways with a 2x4

>>17275457
Ah fuck this shit.

rolled 19 = 19

>>17275457
ROLL INITIATIVE CMON, I KNOW ITS UNPROMPTED BUT CMON

>>17275457
Nice knowing you all.

>>17275457

>>17275457

>>17275475
Wonderful.

uhhhh... is there any way to call Esh to call Macha to tell her that we found her boyfriend?

...

and that she would PLEASE hurry up a little to get here?

>>17275475
EVERYONE STOP ROLLING RIGHT NOW. THIS GUY IS BLESSED WITH THE EMPERORS FURY

>>17275475
we SHOULD be woke the fuck up and ready to fight
but papa Ns quests seem more like stories half the time
damnit

>>17275475
No you foool! At the moment, we have a chance, ever so slim that it won't completely rape and dismember us...

But if we attack... well, we're in for another dearming.

>>17275490
maybe with a quickness. holy fuckshit

>>17275509
>attack
INITIATIVE, you fool, not combat. If he counts that, it means we're jolted up and ready to fight, run, or do whatever.

“Oh fuck this…” You scramble up, adrenaline surging through you.

You dash as hard as you can, trampling over brush and cracking twigs underfoot.

Looking back, you notice the Eversor scratch it’s chin. Maybe it won’t come after you.

The Evesor deems it’s given you enough of a headstart, and bolts into a fast sprint after you.

You unsheathe the bolt pistol, and whirl around, cracking off a shot.

The Evesor stops in its tracks as a tree trunk a foot to its right explodes from the round, but the assassin turns back to you and again continues its chase.

[ ] Keep running and firing the bolter

[ ] Seek cover and try to take it out

[ ] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

>>17275490

>[x] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

It's so out of left field that it cannot be ignored.

>>17275527
>[ ] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

i'm not even sure why the Eversor is after us

>>17275509

But when was the last time you heard a quiet Eversor?

rolled 11 = 11

>>17275527
run and fire the bolter
rolling for aim, as it seems only natural to do so now
Though no need to count it if you dont want to

> [x] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

we're like Max the Koala in that one film

let's eat the delicious looking leaves

>>17275527
>[x] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you
The only reasonable solution

>>17275527
the leaves, EAT THEM

rolled 1 = 1

[ ] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

[X ] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

It is faster, stronger and more determined to kill us than we are to survive by about infinity. Eating the leaves in hopes of granting us god-like powers is our only real chance.

>>17275527

Eat the leaves, if the Eversor hasn't killed us yet then it's not trying to.

[X] Keep running and firing the bolter

>>17275523
Ahem. See;
>>17275527

All though, probably either way we would've been screwed over, initiative or not...

[ ] eat the leaves, maybe they'll let us contact the doomrider , and he can help us out. again

>>17275563
God fucking damnit anon

>>17275563
>>17275552
WHY ARE YOU ROLLING

>>17275527
Eat Leaves, Trip balls. We're gonna die anyways.

>>17275563

Aw, shit. YOU DUN GOOF'D

>>17275563
jesus christ, how does fail so hard at eating the fucking leaves

>>17275563
WELL
FUCK
AT BEST, THEIR POISON IVY
AT WORST, DEADLY DEADLY POISON
DAMN YOU

rolled 7 = 7

>>17275563
...FUCK
Roll Fucking Everything we have nothing to lose

>this is why we don't roll unprompted people

[x] Eat the tantalizing leaves in front of you

You grab a mouthful of leaves and start chewing.

Man, these are some fucking good leaves.

“I love these things!” You roar.

The Evesor roars back at you, it wants the leaves all to itself.

You realize suddenly that the assassin is actually a bear.

Rearing up on your hind legs, you try to make yourself larger and roar in challenge.

This is your territory.

Both of you run at each other, and you swing out with your claws first. It’s a battle of the bears as you each bite and claw at the other.

Finally you manage to scare off the other bear, and you grumble to yourself as you watch it leave.

You eat some more leaves before retreating back into your den for the night.

>>17275588
no! papa might yet have mercy on us, seeing as.... as......

we're fucked.

rolled 1 = 1

>>17275588

>Roll Fucking Everything we have nothing to lose

FUCK IT WHY NOT, ROLLING TO NEGATE THE 1

>>17275594
Yes
YEEEESSSSSS

>>17275599
THE FUCK IS THIS

>>17275594
THE FUCK WAS THAT

>>17275599
GODDAMNIT STOP ROLLING

>>17275599
EXCELLENT WORK YES *actually removes dice from email this time*

>>17275599
Well, that teaches me not to try and fix shit...

>>17275594

Confucius, he say:

"When chased by a tiger to the edge of a cliff, and there is a strawberry bush next to you, you eat the strawberries, and SAVOUR EVERY MOMENT."

[X} Eat the tantalizing leaves.

>>17275594
I'm confused

>this thread
oh god my sides

i know its heresy but i love you papa n.

>>17275638

Tell me you've read the others. They're all like this.

Your den is cozy, and you bear snuggle it hard.

It took you a few days to dig this thing out yourself, it was pretty hard work actually. Though momma always did say you had some really good digging claws.

A few berries you’ve stored make an excellent snack, and you munch on them happily.

Though in the back of your mind, you know these happy days won’t last forever.

After all...

Winter is coming.

[ ] Fish Salmon

[ ] Hibernate

[ ] Fight Ron Burgundy

[ ] Fight Ron Burgundy

>>17275667

>[x] Fight Ron Burgundy

BY ODIN'S BEARD

>>17275667
FIGHT RON BURGUNDY
FOR THE GOD EMPRAH OF BEAR-KIND

rolled 13 = 13

fish salmon
you know it will work well

rolled 18 = 18

>>17275667
FISHING! IT'S WHAT WE FUCKING DO!

>>17275667
fight ron burgundy

>>17275667
>[x]Fight Ron Burgundy

It is time.

>>17275667
[] Fish Salmon

>>17274776
That kid needs to die.

>>17275667
Our greatest Challenge approaches
>Fight Ron Burgundy

[ ] Hibernate

maybe we'll sleep off whatever drug is coursing through us. then we call doomrider to get in on this shit

[X] Fight Ron Burgundy

All of my this

fish ron burgundy in a river full of salmon

[X] Fish Salmon
We Bears Now

[X ] Fight Ron Burgundy

FOR THE EMPR- errr, I mean...

Just... err- for... for...

...

ah!

BY THE MIGHT OF BEAR-MAN!

This fucking thread...

Starvation is worth it if we KILL RON BURGUNDY!

“You look much larger down here…” The suave anchorman says as he sizes you up, his fists raised.

“I AM A BEAR!” You roar back at him, swinging with your paws.

He ducks back, barely avoiding the blow.

He looks puzzled, before he opens his mouth to say…

“DUDE, ITS COOL IF YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN THE SIDECAR AND ALL, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE I TOOK YOU WHERE YOU WANTED TO GO!”

You grab your head and open your eyes, the world outside is stupidly bright, and you quickly shut them again.

Wait, what the fuck.

You peer back around with your eyes barely open.

Doomrider is sitting next to you on the bike, smoking a cig, and looking down at you curiously.

“What the fuck just happened?”

The crazy biker daemon laughs as he takes another drag.

“MAN, YOU ATE SOME FUCKING BEAR LEAVES! YOU KNOW HOW TO PARTY MY FRIEND, I’LL GIVE YOU THAT!”

You groan, your head doesn’t hurt but you have an overwhelming urge to stand in a river and catch salmon…

“Thanks for the lift man, I thought I was done for.” You climb out of the sidecar.

“NO PROBLEM FRIEND, ANYTIME!”

Doomrider and you do the secret handshake; well, the half you can do anyways, before he revs his engine and disappears into a warp hole.

>>17275722
DOOMRIDER HIMSELF SAYS WE KNOW HOW TO PARTY
WE ARE NOT JUST BADASS
WE ARE THE GOD OF BADASSES

>>17275722
10 star post my nigga

>>17275743

And this is why these are the best quest threads /tg/ has ever experienced.

>>17275722
Bros for Eternity

See? Rolling unprompted got us where we wanted to go, even if bearly so.

>>17275722
Uh, what if we smoked more more eldar souls with him while we were partying?

We should probably never see Esh again if we don't want to die. For real this time.

Also, WHERE THE FUCK IS HAT-CHAN?

inventory check.

>>17275722

Noooo!!! WE ARE A BEAR! A BEAR WHO IS TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A MAN! THOSE LEAVES WERE WHAT FREED US!

WE MUST CATCH SALMON! EMBRACE YOUR INNER BEAR-NESS! WE MUST FIGHT THE RON BURGUNDY!

>>17275755

>even if bearly so

I see what you did there...

Truly this quest is ordained by the Emprah Himself to be played.

>>17275767

I'm having these mental images of Max fighting with his inner bear Gollum-style. Shit's hilarious.

>>17275765
shirt
shoes
pants
space wolf bolt pistol
BALLS OF STEEL

>>17275722
The UAC mars marines division officially rates this post an 11.0 on a 10.0 scale of badness(in the FUCKAWESOME sense of the word)

>>17275779
what happened to the communicator?

>>17275793
yeah and that

Rex is sitting outside, and you absentmindedly scratch the underside of his turret, his antenna wagging happily.

The large door opens, and you shuffle inside.

The bizarre form of SLaDOS turns to you, its lens focusing noisily.

“~Oh good, there you are.~”

A mechanical arm extends out and offers you an orange jumpsuit.

“Really? For me?” You take the suit appreciatively.

“~Now, let’s get started~”

>>17275813
DAMNIT

fuckshit. no. demand to see mika.

>>17275813
Oh, oh no...

>>17275813

...well...

at least she cares, right?

ask if shes gonna replace your arm
if she says no, demand to see mika so she can replace your arm
or something

>>17275813

Only if you see Mika first and get the arm sorted.

>>17275813
Who is Rex again?

>>17275836
robo baneblade

>>17275836
Rex is a baneblade IIRC

>>17275836

The baneblade.

>>17275836

I'd assume the Baneblade? Another reason why we might want to comply with her whims until we get Portal-Gun

>>17275848

I do -not- want to know what a effect a Portal gun would have on the 40k universe what with he Warp and all.

But wait, guys.

So, we ate those leaves, BECAME BEAR-MAN, and beat a FUCKING EVERSOR ASSASSIN INTO SUBMISSION, without being blown up in the process?

>>17275865
DRUGS
HES GOT A FISTFULL OF VERTEBRAE AND A HEADFULL OF SALMON

>>17275865

Looks like it. As if an Eversor was going to be much of an achievement after Abaddon, a Defiler, a fish-god and Doomrider.

>>17275865
we are Max Decarius, Commissar(fake) of the Imperium of Man, defeater of Abbadon, Bro of Doomrider, Layer of Xeno's, Son of the Emperor Himself!

Another arm hands you a bizarre looking gun.

“Umm… Thanks?”

Well, that was weird.

You stumble along to the medical bay, again following the red line.

It’s a struggle as you walk, your legs feel as though they might give out on you at any moment.

Finally though, you manage to get into the room where you left Mika.

“Hey, you awake yet?” You poke the tech priestess lightly.

She mumbles and turns her head, but doesn’t wake up.

You set the white orbish gun aside, along with the orange jumpsuit. For some reason, they are really starting to creep you out.

“Hey, geargirl!” You shake her lightly.

Still, she doesn’t wake up.

“I’m missing an arm!” You yell, shaking her side to side now.

“Awa!?” She bolts upright, eyes wide and scanning over the room.

Her eyes narrow as she looks at you, before she jumps backward and hides in the corner.

“I-I don’t know what you want, don’t kill me!”

You stand there, stunned.

“Errmm… Mika? It’s me, Max.”

She turns around, and realization washes over her face.

“M-Max? By the omnissiah…”

>>17275896
Thank god SLaDOS isn't a psychopath like her fellow robotic manager

>>17275896
>>17275896

>mfw she didn't recognize Max because HE'S STILL A BEAR

>>17275896

>You set the white orbish gun aside

>“M-Max? By the omnissiah…”

OOOHHHHHH... I see where this is going.

I see.

>>17275896

Well, either she is much more genre-savvy and cunning than thought, or SLaDOS just hasn't reined her in yet.
Which would have been followed by incineration.

BUT WAIT! GUYS!
IMAGINE IT: OUR VERY OWN COMPANION CUBE!

>>17275920
I don't.

>>17275940

If nine threads of HL have taught me anything, it'll be to BRACE FOR SEXY

>>17275934
THE COMPANION CUBE CANNOT FILL THE HOLE IN OUR HEART LIKE HAT-CHAN DID!!!!

She lays you down on the bed, fingers tenderly running across your stump.

“Does it hurt?”

“A lot, can you do anything?”

Mika bites her lip, and looks around.

“Well, we’re in a complex with a warehouse of parts…”

“So… Yes?”

She nods.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

She brings over a mask to put you under, but you stop her hand.

“Don’t worry, Mika Stark-san is better than she admits!” Her servo skull exclaims joyfully.

She gently brushes your hair out of your face, before securing the mask…

You breath in, looking up into the beautiful face in front of you. The world becomes pink and fluffy for a moment, before you sink into a deep sleep.

>>17275954
nothing will ever fill that hole.

THATS IT! she doesn't recognize us due to the lack of awesome hat.

>>17275961
>Mika Stark-san
>Stark

Brace For Awesomeness

>>17275961
Papa, its pretty subtle and all, but the style of writing makes what is to come, or makes it seem that a certain thing is to come, very clear

>>17275972
Great Scott, he's right, we need our Hat back!

>>17275978
>Stark
OH YES

>>17275972
I TRIED TO WARN YOU! I TRIED...

...I tried...

>>17275981
and with out new arm, our techpriestess, our sororita contact, and our eldar tsunseer, we'll have a squad ready to storm that damn necron tomb and rescue hat-chan from douglasscron's metal clutches

Mika places a pair of goggles over her eyes, and ignites a torch.

“Alright skull-chan, let’s get this shit started.”

She grins as she looks down at your unconscious form, this is her element.

You stay out as she works furiously into the night…

Aaaaannd I need to get some sleep because fuck me I leave in a few hours. If you don’t hear from me in a few days, I’m either too busy fishing or my plane went down in some horrible accident. Friday sometime in the evening will probably be the next thread. That's a tentative date but I'll try my hardest.

>>17276008

Empra's speed, and may the machine spirits of your plane guide you to your destination.

>>17276008
NAME A TIME, CMON. LIKE, 5 PM? I AINT SOME KINDA AUTIST WHO NEEDS EVERYTHING SHCEDULED, BUT IM NOT GONNA BE ON /tg/ ALL DAY TOMMOROW, EVEN IN THE EVENING, I GOT SHIT TO DO, FRIENDS TO REUNITE WITH, ALOT O SHIT

>>17276008
INB4 LOST

>>17276008
Thank you for staying with us for so long.

Seriously, your devotion would make any Commissar proud.

>>17276008
i would like to be the first to preemptively welcome you to Florida, unfortunately I'm not very close to the keys, so I wont be seeing you, but I wish you well all the same.

>>17276022
more like inb4 Iron Man

>>17276017

>Friday sometime in the evening will probably be the next thread.

He said Friday. That's not tomorrow.

>>17276008
Wait no, today is the 19th not the 20th... But I'm still tired so the story is still over for the night.

But I'll stick around for q/a or bullshit from my droid while I get comfy with the lady.

>>17276008

Enjoy your fishing trip man. Bitches love fish.

>>17276008
but seriously though, you really did a good job with this quest thread

>>17276030
I second this man's post and welcome you on behalf of all of Tampa, FL

rolled 1 = 1

PAINT PLANE RED
GET QUEST FASTA

thanks for the adventure, and the overtime. see you friday.

>>17276040

Ooh ooh, pick me! When you hunt what do you hunt with?

>>17276017
Ehh... Maybe around 9pm or something? I really don't know, it depends entirely on what time I'm done fishing at.

It is mah vacation after all.

I've been thinking about setting up a twitter or something so people can check in to see when the next thread would be. This a good plan?

>>17276008

Friday? Oh well. Can't complain since this thread was a double.

Rock on, Papa-N

>>17276045
No the partridges did well with this thread!
IT WAS ALL FOR THE GLOREH OF THE PARTRIDGES!!!

>>17276033
i was talking about OP, but yeah it's gonna get good in the next thread

>>17276062
That would be swell

so if today is the 19th, does that mean thread on thursday?

and question: at what point do you decide to stop taking suggestions and write the post?

>>17276055

or... not.

>>17276061
Mostly a compound bow or my longbow if I can.

For a rifle its either my Win model 70 featherweight or my LMT ar-15. The ar I use mostly for coyotes and the model 70 is what I killed my black bear with.

Muzzloader I have no idea, some hex-barreled thing from the 40's I think. But it works well.

I have too many shotguns for too many situations but my favorite is my browning gold 10ga which slays a lot of geese.

Though I'll admit, I really prefer saltwater fishing to anything else. Be it a fly, big nasty bottom rig, or any one of my spearguns.

>>17276099

>or any one of my spearguns

What on earth are you fishing for? Kraken?

>>17276072
Suggestions are hit and miss. If I'm a bit stumped I'll read the thread. Generally I'm busy hammering away at my keyboard and don't check the thread unless I've posted a choice/roll. I'll read everything eventually, but usually after already posting the next part.

I re-read my threads multiple times to try to not step on my own toes and to generally figure out some semblance of a story and where to go with it.

>>17276121
Naw, I mostly spear snapper of various kinds and hogfish if I'm lucky and find one.

Though last year night diving I had to spear a bull shark in the eye because it and several of its friends were getting TOO curious.

>>17276124

I might start trawling the threads and compiling them into one solid 1d4chan page, if that's alright by you (after I sleep though, so sometime tomorrow)

>>17276124
trying to avoid another Abbadon has no arms, but he does, but he doesnt!

how did that happen?

>>17276144
go for it. If you could, link the threads on the page and then I can just link the 1d4chan page instead of filling up a post with links.

If I get around to a twitter or something I'll post it either in the next thread or I'll make an imagedump thread with the link or something.

>>17276145

Another anon sorted that. He got new ones, but then CREEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

>>17276145
writing too fast

Though I really liked the CREEEEEEEEDDDDD post by the anon, so that kinda worked out.

am I the only one dissapointed that we didn't really get to see the Necron girl?

>>17276099

Fucking. Jealous. I thought I was hot shit when my uncle gave me his Winchester double-barreled. Got to shoot his crossbow a couple of time but the thing is too fucking powerful. It goes right through the deer and breaks the head when it hits a rock on the other side.

Fishing is nice, I agree with you on that. I have no idea what it is, but you can spend 4 hours not catching a thing but the moment your line starts tugging you flip shit and go nuts.

>>17276178
at least we didn't die horribly. though we probably took a SAN hit seeing our best friends skin worn as a suit by a murderous, raping robot.

So that's eleven nat1s today out of fortyish rolls, from "roll to sprint" until now.

Dice.

>>17276178
No, you en't.

So, Papa-N, come to Florida often?

>>17276233

whenever I can, maybe 3 times a year. I try to get down there in may to hit the humps for tuna

>>17275666
some Galatic Partridge writefaggotry I stumbled aross a few minutes ago if anyone is interested given the subject of today's thread.

it's a bit meh imo, and some (unintentionally hilarious) typos.

But someone here might enjoy it more

>>17276267
I have a friend who lives in Florida.
We laugh at him for living in America's Graveyard.

>>17276288

meh, I love the fishing too much to care. that and delicious stone crab

papa-n
is there potential for a Partridges part 2?
Or is that the one and only cameo.

In any case tonight was hilarious as always

>>17276288
Living here ain't so bad, especially when you have family in all the theme parks and get bitchen discounts on all that shit. my granddad can get himself and three people into disney all day every day (exept blackouts) and we can book disney cruises for 50 bucks a night if i remember correctly.

>>17276329
yes you haven't seen the last of the GPs

>>17276397
mfw
And when are we going to gather up our harem, get ourselves a pimpin Battlebarge, and pimp 'cross the stars

>>17276442

I was planning on ending with a true ruv choice ending, whenever heretical love ends.

I might write a harem end after that though

>>17276468
It should be a choice between them. But if we can be suave enough, we can have them all.

Or do some sort of bonding experience where they all need to fight together to survive or something, I don't know.

>>17276468
So you're going to make us choose between the Sister of Battle, Tsunseer, or Mika. (at least those are my choices)

You're a cold, cold man papa-n.

in any case, keep up the great week and good night.

>>17276488
NOPE
roll gods hate us

>>17276510

eh, I honestly want to know at the end who the best or favorite girl was.

that said, chances are I will write a harem end as well.

>>17276510
maybe he goes to Florida to regularly defrost his icy heart.

We just need to wait for it to defrost no that hes there

Will we get a christmas themed thread?

>>17276510
What the hell are you talking about?

How could you completely forget about the female necron we saw for a whole of two sentences? Shes obviously the clear winner.

I do wonder though, who is /tg/s favorite at the moment?

>>17276601
maybe but probably not on Xmas because ill be with my gf and her family.

I will have an Xmas present for you guys though

>>17276616
Well, its gonna be kinda skewed because we actually got some with certain characters and with others we barley got close to them.

rolled 15 = 15

>>17276616
toss up between Tau and the DEldar sisters.
If farseer weren't so IKILLYOU she would be okay.
Daemonettes are ok
Admech and sororitas are insufficiently heretical

>>17276658

yeah, I just didn't think it fitting to have every girl give it up their first thread, or make it easy to get some of them

>>17276635
Dark Eldar / Tau (For pretending she doesn't know the little inquisitor was for)

>>17276616
I would want to say AdMech girl, but we haven't really explored that route too much.

So far then, I'd say the daemonettes were actually kinda nice. For warp spawn.

I'd like to see the necron chick explored a bit more, but I'm not sure how much you want to stretch this out.

>>17276710
That was smart. If we thought from the first thread we would always get what we wanted, this journey wouldn't have been nearly as fun. Or whacky.

>>17276715
Completely forgot about the daemonettes, they are also enough heretical to make up for it. The choice is between those three.

>>17276723
necron girl... yeah you haven't seen whats in store for that route yet. there will be more

>>17276742
Alright, so to get a list, we still have to explore the Necron girl, and the ork girl? Those are the last two?

I think we should do the ork route next, you know, something comical. Save the necron for after that, as that may be a darker/ more serious route.

And we could always revisit blueberry to help find her brother.

A lot of shit we still have to get done. I hope your bodies are ready.

>>17276742

Definitely curious about the Necron and Orky girls.

But I guess I'm just an Extra Heretical kinda guy.

Yeah, wanting to see what the other routes [ork, necron] hold...and where's the 'nid?

>>17276888
Oh shit, forgot about the 'nid.

Can't wait to see that and Rex play around in the front yard of the bunker.

>>17276863

Good luck with that.

From my understanding (which I will admit, is unclear), I believe Hat-chan was left in that not so abandoned Necron tomb.

Nat 1's or not, /tg/ will vote to charge back into that tomb as soon as Papa-N lets us if it means getting Hat-chan back.

Frederick looks up from his repairs as Helena jumps down off of the tank.

"Whatcha workin on mekboy?" She asks, leaning over to look.

Frederick finds it hard to talk, Helena's boobs squishing on his head.

"Err... Just fixing tank stuff."

"Hmmm... How boring." She complains, pouting.

The tech priest mind reels, trying to think of something to say or do.

>is autosage go yet so we can get bizarro mode started?

This is Mika's skull. It just fits too well.

>>17276923

>""Err... Just fixing tank stuff."
>What he was actually doing

>>17276914

I miss Hat-chan

;_;

>>17276955
Dawwed hard

Helena leans further and Fredericks mechanical arms start moving on their own.

"H-hey! Watch it with those!" Helena laughs, jumping back.

"Err... Apologies..." Fuck, he is blowing this!

Frederick can't take it anymore, mustering all his courage.

[ ] Invite to dinner

[ ] Take to beach

[ ] Go to movie

>>17277069
[x] Awkwardly combine all three options in an incoherent mumble.

>>17277002

fuckkin saved

>>17277069
Go to movie. Now

>>17277069
You like that one? This one is kinda similar.

>>17277228
And I'm done with that one.

Mad-props for all the funky shit in this thread, Papa-N. Good hunting, STALKER.

>>17277228

on my Droid and I don't read binary, what's it say?


Frederick mumbled something completely incoherent.

"Uh, can you repeat that?"

"D-do you want to go to a movie with me!?"

Helena looks at him curiously.

"Frederick, are you inviting me out on a date?"

The question startles him.

"Err...I....."

"I would love to go! I'm going to go get cleaned up and then I'll meet you back here at seven!"

With that, she heads off.

Omnissiah be praised, did she just agree to a date?

>>17277316
it's not an even amount of bytes, sorry

Helena humms happily to herself as she showers, taking extra care to do a good job shaving.

"Ohohoho? How slutty are you going to get with this gearskull?" Sarah comments jokingly from the other side of the shower.

"Sarah!"

"Don't try lying to me girlie, I saw you getting out the sexy panties."

Helena looks away, feigning embarrassment.

"I mean, I can't not give him a little fanservice, he did finally work up the courage to ask me out..."

"Which you've been waiting for forever now, blah blah blah, I've heard it a hundred times already."

and I think we will pick up this up next time as well

>>17277385
D'aaaaw

>>17277385
Yay!