>>16921187
CURRENT STATS:
____________________________________________
RULES:
- All decisions are made with d40 rolls.
- Evolutions/mutations only take occur when
>MYSTERIOUS TIME STREAM EVOLVES YOU
____________________________________________
UNNATURAL POWERS:
Calming Aura, Lvl. 5
> Can fire in pulses; stuns.
Biomancy, Lvl. 7
> Can alter any living bio-organic material. Also, plasma beams.
> Three permanent changes to any living organism before explosion.
Necromancy, Lvl. 4
> Dominion over 3 undead at a time.
> 1) Aazz, 2) Bearex, 3) Cerebus
Shapeshifting/Body Sculpting, Lvl. 2
> Transformation into last creature eaten/parasited.
Shadow Travel Lvl. 2
> Instantaneous teleportation through shadows. Small range.
____________________________________________
IMPROVED BODY PARTS
HEAD:
- 8 Eyes
- Parasitic Mouth Hooks +2 (+PROJECTILE PARASITES)
- Jaw Strength +1
- Sticky Rope Tongue
- Brain +3
BODY
- Draconic Wings Lvl. 2
- Muscle Mass +1 (3 ft)
- Whiplash Tail
- Titanium Web Spinners OF LIFE
LEGS
- Rending Claws
- Retractable Limbs
- 6 Limbs
- Mantis Shrimp Punches
____________________________________________
DORMANT POWERS:
Starfall; Mouth Laser; Geomancy
____________________________________________
CRYSTALS:
1 Yellow; 1 Red; 1 Blue
____________________________________________
NOTABLE MINIONS:
Aazz: Former Chieftain, current wraith.
>Upgrade: KING OF CLUBS
Bearex: T-Rex skull with bear skull. Your champion.
>Upgrade: Armor+1
Cerebus: Wolf skeleton.
>Shoots bees from shoulder-mounted web cannons.
>Piloted by tiny lizard skeletons.
Razz: Leafdancer. Your Godspoken.
Seventeen: Forgeslug.
>Upgrade: Living Artillery/Metalsmith Repair

(continued)

rolled 32 = 32

OH GOD YES.

FIRE UP THOSE 1d40s BECAUSE IT IS TIME FOR EVOQUEST.

>>16921187
>>16921201
You stand tall (i.e. not very) on top of Sunfang Meteor, which hangs suspended over the gigantic mining pit that once belonged to the woodfolk. It goes without saying that the pit, along with the rest of the settlement, now belongs to you and your followers, the sunfangs.

You look down at the sunfangs- most of them are scurrying around, split between celebrating their victory and prepping the Meteor for actual habitation. There are a few woodfolk mixed in with your followers, those who chose to throw off the crystal-favored's rule (and also chose not to die horribly).

... and you get to thinkin'.

For whatever reason, the woodfolk completely neglected to mine out the valuable ores inside the pit. Also, the largest building in the village has a mysterious device that teleports people up to the northern mountains, and to the gigantic disc that's half-buried in the dirt. Finally, the Woodfolk Tribe seems to have one remaining village... but you HAVE been thinking about getting in contact with the actual Forgeslug tribe.

... more importantly, you still have no goddamn clue where the woodfolk have taken the many, many crystals that they supposedly stole from the sunfangs. You know, those wondrous little things that are deadly to almost everyone, but give power boosts to the very rare "crystal-favored"; you PROBABLY count as one, except you 1) are not a woodfolk, and 2) do not worship some god named "Bolbox."

You know of the actual gods- oh, do you EVER know of the actual motherfucking gods- and you are damn sure that Bolbox is not one of them.

... now. What to do?

>COMMAND?
(Highest of 1d40 rolls)

rolled 35 = 35

Preemptive 'dick around with shadow travel' command.

Can't wait to teleport onto motherfuckers' necks and shit.

rolled 10 = 10

Check in with allies and whatnot.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16921187

So...I got this done. I had way more fun that I should have with the mantis shrimp claws. Color scheme updated to "peacock mantis shrimp" because it is awesome. Plus it makes us look more like a Aztec god, which is where we are heading anyway. Then I had a totally awesome idea I wanted to run with, so no Cerberus AT-AT walker (yet).

rolled 29 = 29

I should not have to bump this thread.

Get in here.

rolled 33 = 33

>>16921214
THIS IS APPALLING
HOW ARE THERE NO POSTS

We fly over to Razz and get a status report. Do so stylishly.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16921327

Welp, while we are waiting, I guess I will post this. If you guys like it, I will do more (Lies. I am doing them anyway). Disclaimer: First two will be kinda lame, but they build up to the 3rd, 4th and 5th one. Probably will have the second one done before the 404 hits.

>>16921229
Aaah... it felt like it was just yesterday that you tore the face off of that giant shadow-walking bear, turned its skeleton into your own personal bearmobile, and then proceeded to strike fear (and also death) into any and all pointy-eared tree-hugging, crystal-stealing sons-of-bitches.

... where were you aga- oh! Right, superpower dickery! You slither-walk until you're clinging to the dark side of the meteor- and then you concentrate and dash right INTO the nearest shadow, and-

- there's a moment of pure darkness and disorientation and-

- you're inside the Meteor, tumbling head-over-tail for a moment before opening your wings with a SNAP and righting yourself back up. Surprise surprise, shadow travel works like a goddamn dream! The range isn't what it was when the bear used it, but you're sure you can improve that in time.

Below you, in the Meteor's main chamber, the trees that you planted (and boosted with your Biomancy) have grown quite nicely; you've got a miniature forest in here, with a visible path leading from one end down to the entrance.

A few sunfang are scattered here and there, and they're- they seem to be placing eggs in the crowns of the trees. Down near the entrance, Razz, your Godspoken, seems to be looking over piles of supplies and taking notes on some kind of animalskin parchment- boring administrative stuff.

>COMMAND?

What a glorious time to wake up

>>16921385
Talk to Razz, let's find out what he's doing. What are our priorities, goals etc.

>>16921281
YOU NEVER FAIL TO DELIVER.

rolled 39 = 39

>>16921385

Command OP to turn his trip on.

Talk to Razz

>>16921409
Whoops, forgot my EVERYTHING

Also, as a reminder, all decisions are rolled- 1d40!

>>16921281
Jesus christ..... what are we becoming?

rolled 2 = 2

>>16921385
I am... curious

Bellow a blorp which will contest the wind's screaming dominace in the sky then launch to the heavens. Fly up and up and up until we can reach no higher, then look upon our new kingdom and the lands yet still to conquer.

I want to know if there is anything interesting we can tell from the shape of the terrain.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16921385

Check in with Razz to see what our stats...er resources look like at the moment.

>>16921400
>>16921411
You BLORP at Razz, and he looks up from his fretting (mostly cursing) as you approach.

"Oh! My lord, yoAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH-"

... and, of course, that was you shooting a parasitic mouth-hook into his neck so that you can actually converse with him. Razz, who is both used to this AND kind of a giant goddamn spaz about everything, recovers after a moment and continues as if nothing happened.

"- just looking over all the shit we got from our glorious fucking victory, my lord. Bronze armor and weapons, enough food to last an entire village for months, and all sorts of tools! Fucking TOOLS!" Razz seems pretty excited about this. "Not just that weird digging shit they use for the pits, but weird digging shit that's used for farming! We lost that fucking knowledge when those asshole woodfolk-"

He pauses and looks uncertain. "- right, right, I was gonna tell you. We got motherfucking woodfolk running around scared that you're just going to eat them. Or that you're going to kill them, or let the woodfolk beat their motherfucking heads in."

Razz sighs. "Some even want to talk to you, and- look, they're getting really goddamn annoying. Want I should fuckin' do something about them, my lord?"

>COMMAND?

rolled 39 = 39

>>16921515
Gather the 3 most eager Woodfolk and bring them before the Mighty Blorp in audience.

Then throw a rock in their midst and command them to fight to the death or else be murdered. The survivor may speak with us.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16921515

Time to increase our ranks. Meet with the dissidents in a professional and courteous manner. Possibly hold a feast later in honor of our victory and new capital to which they are cordially invited.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16921536

SON OF A BITCH.

Counter rolling for non-lethal negotiations.

rolled 29 = 29

>>16921560
The Blorp finds your compassion.... wanting

rolled 37 = 37

>>16921536
Dick move, counter rollin'

Just talk to them first.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16921536
Anti-rolling, we don't want that level of dickery.

rolled 15 = 15

>>16921536
What the fuck man.
We're not powerful enough to start acting like an Aztec God yet.
We only look the part, wait until we have level 10 shit.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16921592
THE SUFFERING AND PERSECUTION OF THE SUNFANG WILL NOT BE MET WITH SUCH SOFT HANDED ANTICS

THEY ARE * CONQUERED*
THEY STOLE AND ROUTED *OUR* PEOPLE
THEY ARE HIDING ALL OUR DELICIOUS *ROCK CANDY*

FEAR MUST BE TAUGHT AND THESE PANSY ASS LONG EARED FUCKS ARE STAYING AFTER SCHOOL FOR ADDITIONAL TUTORING!

>>16921611
We already ate like, a million elves.
No fucking reason to kill the reasonable ones too
Fascist

We could kill them in seconds, no need for genocide.

rolled 17 = 17

>>16921646
>genocide

Jesus christ it is 2 at most. This thread is filled with Elf loving candy asses

>>16921657
>who cares lol their just am elves
>implying you're not a fucking elf, in spirit

>>16921657
Elves are people too, just like the Sunfang. Not their fault that they were born into a fascist society. They get one chance.

If they fuck that chance up, THEN we eat them.

>>16921536
>BLORP... HURP.

Razz blinks, slightly taken aback by that... but then he just shrugs. "Yeah, I guess we could do that, too. Gimme a sec, my lord, I'll get our guys together, and those fuckers, too..."

Razz is nothing if not efficient; a few minutes later, most of the sunfang are gathered at the base of Sunfang Meteor; most of the woodfolk are in their own group, and they ALL look pretty damn freaked, to be honest. The SUNFANG, meanwhile, look so satisfied that they're swelling to near bursting; they're grinning at the woodfolk and elbowing each other in the ribs, jerking a thumb at those goddamn bastards, eh? Eh? Damn straight!

... clearly, there still isn't very much love lost between the two races.

You sit on the ramp leading into the meteor, looking down on the three woodfolk they brought before you- a strong-looking old man, a young woman, and a weedy young man stand before you.

>BLORP.

You then kick a rock into their midst, Razz translates, and...

... he's barely half-done with the translation before the oldest of the woodfolk has broken the young woman's neck and is now smashing the young man's head in with the rock.

The old woodfolk, clearly an ex-military man, wipes his brow with a blood-covered arm and looks at you with cold, hard eyes, ignoring the stares of sunfangs and woodfolk alike. "... will you hear what I have to say now?"

... you close your mouth.

Holy fucking shit.

>COMMAND?

>>16921683
Motherfucker EARNED an audience. Also some other kind of reward probably.

rolled 24 = 24

>>16921683
"Sure"

Parasite his face and lets see what he has to say

Huh, a badass.
CLEARLY we should hear him out.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16921683

God DAMN. That guy doesn't dick around. I like him.

"You have my attention. Speak your piece"

rolled 27 = 27

>>16921683
Dude knows what is up.

Hear him out.

Goddamnit, what happened to us being the champion of the bro god?

rolled 27 = 27

>>16921716
>>16921705
>>16921695
Oh

OH

NOW you all like the idea? See, just give them a chance and even these tree sucking boy lovers can command some respect.

>>16921719
Apparently we abandoned it. Which is a damn shame.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16921729
No, I still think that was a horrible dick move. But it's already done, so fuck it. He earned it.


Also, let's see if we can use our biomancy/necromancy to return life to the two guys he killed.

>>16921719
An asshole rolled high, that's what happened.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16921744
Yeah, bring them back to life, if we can.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16921683
Yes, because this is clearly the right way to go about earning their trust.

rolled 40 = 40

Bring the other two back.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16921762
>>16921744
To live as ghouls for all eternity not knowing the touch of humanity or the warmth of living flesh. Forever displaced between their own people and the world and hunted or revered as evil constructs of undead will?

Oh yeah that will improve their lives considerably. They died in effort of saving their people. It was a noble sacrifice, do not cheapen it.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16921755

So, like every thread, the dice lords are dicking with us. Again.

>>16921744


Seconding the biomancy option. Leave them with their free will intact as an apology for being A MASSIVE DICK.

rolled 36 = 36

>>16921683
True resurrection on the dead woodfol

rolled 22 = 22

>>16921683
kick him in the nuts for him to show some respect and then let him speak

rolled 28 = 28

>>16921784

rolled 35 = 35

>>16921784
Explain to them that we did not actually expect him to do it.

Stopping voting here!

rolled 21 = 21

>>16921683
Damn that guy is serious. Have the Sunfang drag away the bodies and approach the Old elf and latch on for a personal mind swirly. Let's see what was so important enough to kill for.

"Squak like an idiot and take a shit on the rug" shouldn't be carried out even on a 40.

Being a complete and total asshole after building a reputation as a bro god, basing the reasoning for the vast majority of our decisions on being a chill dude who gives everyone a chance, and striving to provide peace and prosperity is pretty goddamn stupid.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16921820
We've killed thousands of elvs in the past few days. We are only bros to those who know us. They are still the enemy and a serious threat. Murdering entire villages but being nice to the dozen or so survivors doesn't improve our reputation. We are still the mauradering murdering crazy bio-God of the Sunfang. Why is everyone so fucking hung up on this interaction?

DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THEY HAVE ATTACKED AND TRIED TO KILL US NUMEROUS TIMES! FORCED THE SUNFANG FROM THEIR LANDS! THESE ARE NOT INNOCENT PEOPLE HERE.

>>16921846
We were under the assumption that, in fact, these ones were innocent and their leaders and warriors were the fascist dickheads.

Which is why we spared them to begin with.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16921846
That was their asshole fascist noble caste. You know, the dudes that use the normal woodfolk as slave labor?

Assholes like Slick and the Tyrant are our enemies, not the common man.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16921820

Eh. The problem is the agreed system is high roll. It sucks, but I don't think we can change that now without a GM fiat. And it has lead to some interesting things happening from the random shit that gets through.

>>16921861
Well yes, I'm asking for a GM fiat because I believe that particular action was terribly out of character given our previous actions and the justifications for those actions.

rolled 36 = 36

>>16921859
>>16921854
Well one of your 'innocent and peaceful' elves just murdered two of his kin without so much of a second thought with his bare hands.

>>16921784

I love you so much Someone Else.

>>16921867
That, and there was an outpouring of protest after that roll.

>>16921877
Because we forced him into the situation, you asshole.

>>16921885
>Forced

We didn't even get to finish our sentence!

>>16921877

They aren't "peaceful and innocent" not by a long fucking shot.

Thing is, WE don't have to be a massive douchebag because THEY were. No we are a champion of the brogod, we beat these fuckers into submission when we killed their MOTHER FUCKING KING AND HIS ENTIRE ARMY. Why the FUCK do we need to pick on the FREED SLAVES?

rolled 38 = 38

>>16921908
THIS.

WE are the one with the power, WE are the one everyone looks up to, and thus WE are the ones responsible for the treatment of the weak.

rolled 11 = 11

If little else, these threads consistently have good arts and discussions.

1 butcher the adults
2 enslave the children
3 forced work until adult
4 repeat step 1

oh and a constant war with them will keep our people fed for a nice time

>>16921926
Agreed.

>>16921701
>>16921718
>>16921784
>>16921787
>>16921788

You can't say that he HASN'T earned an audience. Hell, he's earned enough audience for THREE people.

... still, maybe you were a LITTLE too hasty.

With a wave of one taloned hand, your grasp on your existing undead minions quiver for a moment before you brute-force your way through the gates of Hell with Biomancy and drag the woodfolk back into life (or something close enough to life that people won't notice unless they squint).

Ignoring the thank yous and the sobbing bowing and scraping from the no-longer-dead woodfolk slaves, quick as a flash, you shoot a parasitical mouth-hook at the older woodfolk- and his arm lashes up just as quickly, blocking it from his face. The telepathy... SEEMS to work just fine, though, so you let it slide.

"You have saved us from the crystal-favored," the woodfolk says, lowering his arm (while keeping his other hand on the parasite, clearly not trusting it as far as he can throw it). "In return, I will give you a warning:

"Bolbox knows of your existence. And he is coming for you. He must cross mountains and entire oceans to reach you, but he will stop at nothing to hunt you down," he says, quite matter-of-factly. "And you are powerful, but not nearly strong enough to fight him off, should he reach this place."

The old woodfolk takes a deep breath. "... and Bolbox only becomes stronger with the crystals that our tribe has sent him," he growls bitterly. "Take your people. Flee this place. And grow stronger. I..."

Amidst the silence, the old woodfolk bends at the knee. You can sense how much it takes him to do this, after all the bowing and scraping he has had to do for the 'crystal-favored' and their friends.

"... I only ask that you take our people with you. By force, if necessary."

>COMMAND?

rolled 9 = 9

>>16921943
This Bolbox guy?
Sounds like an asshole.
AND WHAT DO WE DO TO ASSHOLES EVERYONE?

>>16921926
I'm not interesting in equality. We are the Avatar of the Sunfang. Being nice to these.... possibly innocent but I highly doubt it Woodfolk, does nothing to benefit us. It is in fact the dickery of being a God that we found the one Woodfolk whom seems to have something important to say and possibly intel on our precious stones.

At the end of this the Sunfang should and WILL be the ruling class. We do not have to murder off ALL the Woodfolk but we sure as fuck don't need to play with them with the kid gloves on. I mean come on, they are standing right over there. How do you think they would feel if we buddy buddy up with their hated enemy who stole their lands and kept them in the stone age?

rolled 10 = 10

Hmmm...a very good question.

After asserting that we mean him no further (immediate) harm and have considered his offer, impress upon him that treachery from his tribesman's ranks will be met with swift and uncompromising punishment. Beyond that, if he has information to contribute, he's welcome to do so.

>>16921943
Well, sure bro, alright.

But we ain't leaving. We are preparing, Training, strengthening, consolidating, whatever word you want to use.

Point is, when he gets here, we'll be ready.

>>16921961
I outright reject your ideas.

We can at least fucking TRY to foster a society of fairness.

rolled 24 = 24

>>16921979
Rolling

rolled 38 = 38

>>16921943

Explain to him that in little more than a day, we have arisen from a small, stupid, cave salamander. We have arisen to unite the Sunfang, to destroy and kill the Woodfolk king, to free the Woodfolk from their slavery, and that with each day we grow stronger, far more stronger. We do not fear Bolbox, for he is not a god, not by a long shot, but if we must flee, in order to let the people under us grow and thrive. We promise to take the Woodfolk with us, by force, if necessary.

Then we use our Biomancy to grant him stronger / healthier (though not disgustingly so) with a tattoo on his face showing our sign of favor.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16921943
ALL the stones?

If that is the case then it would be wise to heed this warning. We only have, what? A dozen or so in us. Bolbox could have ingested hundreds.

Ask him where we could possibly go?

rolled 3 = 3

>>16921961
Yeah, well fuck you buddy. We will build a utopia and be remembered as the ultimate bro.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16921972
Further: impress upon him that usefulness is of greater value than obsequiousness. Without exception.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16921999

This, magical trips and a mini-crit show the true path.

>>16921961
i have to agree with you, we should become undefeatable
and since this dude looks strong, i recommend the leafdancers becoming something more than a magic leaf blower and more like druids, because we are becoming strong at everything but magic, and relying only on yourself for that is kinda lame

rolled 32 = 32

>>16921999

This.

rolled 30 = 30

>>16921999
If we rum, we should get a bunch of bird and vines, And James and the Giant Peach our way out of here. Except instead of a peach, it's a meteor.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16921943

GOD DAMN IT WE JUST GOT UNPACKED.

Agree. On one condition. This old guy works with us now. He trains EVERYONE under our rule to be competent warriors. We will build an empire to strike down Bolbox, one person at a time if necessary. We are going to need every advantage we can get. Also, we need those crystals they were mining. Ask him what he knows of that.

Stopping voting here!

>>16921999
... so... we DO agree to flee, at least eventually, correct?

rolled 33 = 33

>>16922045
If we need to.

rolled 33 = 33

>>16922045
We make preparations to flee, if Bolrox is as bad as this guy claims.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16922045

If the option to flee gets overbearing support from the people under us then yes, we will flee, if only for their safety. But we will NEVER flee out of fear. That is an alien emotion to us.

fuuuuuuuuuu!~

I was playing skyrim so I missed like most of htis thread. Please tell me OP, are you going to be playing this tomorrow and sunday?

rolled 9 = 9

>>16922045

Barring all else, we will stay and fight as our citizens take shelter elsewhere. Bolbox is ours to defeat. This is a battle between behemoths. Involving those below that level will just lead to their demise.

rolled 12 = 12

Perhaps so, anon, but Bolbox will have other worshipers. Our guys will need to defend themselves against Bolbox's guys at some point.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16922095

This.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16922045
It is simple numbers.

Bolbox has the combined power of an entire mine of power crystals. We only have a handful. No amount of boastful FUCK YEAH WE ARE INVEEEEEEEEEECIBLLLE will save us from an enemy so far off our current power level that it would be like fighting off against the BBEG in the beginning of the game as a Lvl. 1

I like the post about bringing Captain Badass on as a trainer. He seems to have military background and an iron will. Perfect for teaching our forces how to fight in unison. Inquire about the location of another stockpile of STONES.

>>16922093
The night is still young! Also, I... should be here on Sunday, probably not Saturday.

>>16921999
>>16922028
>>16922036
>Explain to him that in little more than a day, we have arisen from a small, stupid, cave salamander. We have arisen to unite the Sunfang, to destroy and kill the Woodfolk king, to free the Woodfolk from their slavery, and that with each day we grow stronger, far more stronger. We do not fear Bolbox, for he is not a god, not by a long shot, but if we must flee, in order to let the people under us grow and thrive. We promise to take the Woodfolk with us, by force, if necessary.

...

>GLEEP!

You do a pretty good job of compressing all of that meaning into one word, all things considered- and you mean every single word of what you said. After all you have experienced and where you began, you really DON'T fear Bolbox- not that you ever did, really- but you will make preparations, nonetheless.

The old woodfolk sags in relief and stands up, looking like he's about to say something... but then you blast him with BIOMANCY. When the smoke clears... well, there wasn't a lot you COULD improve on, but he looks hale and healthy, and save for his lined face and shock-white hair, he no longer looks ravaged by age.

There is also a tattoo of a silhouette encircling his right arm, where the parasite used to be: a tattoo shaped like a swirling blue salamander.

The old woodfolk- Steelbark, his mind says- doesn't look all that surprised (he's not exactly the most expressive of people, you realize), but you can feel his awe. "... I... thank you, my lord. I will do my best to help train the-"

"WHAT ON FUCKIN' EARTH IS ALL OF THIS!?"

You're basically mobbed by all of your squad leaders at once; Aazz is hollering about trusting the goddamn fucking woodfolk and the follies of fleeing, Seventeen is wringing his pseudopods at the thought of leaving all this wonderful ore behind, and Razz is jabbering about the sheer LOGISTICS involved in picking up and moving somewhere else, and where WOULD you even move to--

>COMMAND?

rolled 7 = 7

>>16922144
Send out some soothing waves, man, and pump the brakes. We wouldn't do this kind of shit without planning.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16922144
Don't even say anything, just make a "zip your mouths" sign with our hands, and handle the problems one at a time like we always do.

rolled 14 = 14

Hey everyone, I think I know who the real God is. From the opening Narration of EVO: The search for Eden:

"About 4.6 billion years ago, the "Sun" had nine smaller stars and named the third one "Gaia".

The Sun: My dear Gaia! Please listen to me. From this time forward, every 1 billion years, you will have children called "Life". One of them will be able to help you to build a new era. Each child will must endure a difficult trial. You might think it's too severe, but it is necessary. The trial is a test of Nature: "The survival of the fittest". If he passes, I will allow him to be your partner and to enter Eden."

We have the Sun rooting for us!

rolled 32 = 32

>>16922144

Godammit

God

Dammit

This is what I was afraid of. Trusting this old bastard now makes us look weak and foolish infront of OUR people. Now we have to evacuate the Sunfang AND all these refugees? How do we feed and shelter them? How many resources and men are we going to have to expend to force them to come with us?

Being the good guy is fun in theory but this is seriously going to fuck with out mobility, unity, and overall fighting force. I swear half you people don't stop to think about what being bro all the time means as far as responsibly and additional work.

rolled 29 = 29

>>16922144
Give a great Hurp to shut everyone up. Tell them we are not running if we don't have to and if we DO we'll figure some thing out. We are just PREPARING to retreat, if thing get to bad, and are full prepared to sacrifice ourselves to ensure that EVERYONE gets away safely. Yes Aazz, everyone, including the Woodfolk and the Forgeslugs if we can find them.

rolled 38 = 38

>>16922179
It's worth it, yo
We don't dick around just for the sake of fucking logistics man

Tell the fuckers to
BACK
THE FUCK
UP
Calming aura that shit

rolled 40 = 40

>>16922144

Wait, hold up guys. We've come a fucking long way from where we started, from simple cave salamander to fucking living avatar of the ancients. It's time for us to rejoice in our power and reveal in our victory over our defeated foes!

We need to declare a festival!

rolled 38 = 38

>>16922153

Also, time for pow-wow between our commanders. We need to organize everything. I want to say use the gate to the mountain as the "FUCK YOU GUYS I AM GOING HOME" option. When things are getting bad, send the people who stayed with us there and close the gate from the other side. We could actually probably set that up as a more defendable position. One way in, one way out. Feasibly, we could pack everyone into the meteorite and run, but there are a lot of resources we will lose if we do. We need to grab everything we can as soon as we can.

Okay, stopping voting here!

>>16922210
>>16922144

I like these ideas. Make them happen.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16922210
>nat 40
Welp
I still vote we >>16922209 or
>>16922205

rolled 3 = 3

>>16922210
>order the murder of 2 innocent captives
>bring them back
>make hated enemy new Warmaster
>order mass evacuations
>PARTY TIEM!

Fuck we must look bi-polar to everyone watching us right now....

>>16922230

We are not ordering an evacuation, we are just making preparation, being careful so that if this guy is really to strong for us, Everyone doesn't die.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16922230

I know. It is like there are dozens of voices in Blorps head telling him to do contradicting things and arguing incessantly.

rolled 34 = 34

>>16922259

Those are the whispers of the ancient ones in the eternal void between stars, and they make their will known through the dice.

>>16922210
>BLOOOOOOOOORP!!

Aazz, one of the few people who understands you without parasites, does a double-take. "PARTY!? My lord, well, I- I can't ever fuckin' turn down a party, but- oh shit," he adds, covering his face in his hands because ALL THE SUNFANGS HEARD HIM AND ARE NOW CHEERING.

As always, the lizardmen are ready to party at the drop of a fucking hat; they start breaking out all of their alcohol, all of the WOODFOLK'S alcohol, and as much food as they can scrounge up from the surrounding huts. The sunfangs are cheering for you as they get their party- their usual orgy of food and drink- under way.

Between all the constant fighting and the sheer insanity of the past few days, they probably really needed something like this.

The WOODFOLK, on the other hand, are a lot more subdued at this reminder of their people's defeat at the hands of their racial enemies, or perhaps are simply taken aback at all of these capering sunfangs; either way, they're bunched up in their own corner, doing the equivalent of standing in the back of the room and trying to nod to the beat without looking completely hopeless and awkward.

Regardless...

>>16922215
You're surrounded by your advisors, who are no longer screaming for your attention, but they're pretty tense. Aazz is giving sidelong glares to the impassive-looking Steelbark, Razz is poring over his parchment, looking like he's about to have a headache, and Seventeen is about to cry. Seriously, there are huge watery slime-tears forming at the edges of his shell.

You got all of these advisers to talk to... or you COULD scarper off and just start making some preparations of your own. They'll probably understand. Probably.

>CHOOSE!
1) Aazz
2) Seventeen
3) Razz
4) Steelbark

TWO of your advisors to talk to
or
DO SOMETHING ELSE?

rolled 17 = 17

>>16922302

Woah, we need to get those fucking woodfolks in the party! Not partying is an affront to the ancient ones. Command all of the female woodfolk to drink large amounts of alcohol, and once they are suitably "enlightened" they shall go with us to a more "secluded" location.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16922302
Okay, we have to talk to Steelebark and Aazz, together. Try to come to some sort of understanding.

And for gods sake, tell 17 we aren't leaving, if only to stop him doing that. It's heartbreaking.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16922316
And then we shall show them our "blue salamander".

rolled 25 = 25

>>16922321
This, we have to settle all this racial tension.

>>16922302
Reassure 17
Talk to Aazz and Steelbark

>>16922302
Tell 17 it's all right, we're not going to forget about him or abandon our commitments.

Also, tell Azaz we're not doing jackshit without careful planning. We're crystal-touched, not retarded.

rolled 21 = 21

derpt
>>16922337

Stopping the voting here!

rolled 39 = 39

>>16922336
Roll

rolled 20 = 20

>>16922358
>mfw voting stopped and that vote doesn't count

Goddammit I completely forgot about this tonight, and I have to get up early tomorrow morning.

Guess I'm going to be reading this in the archives. Y'all had better not fuck things up too badly in the meantime.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16922406
>Y'all had better not fuck things up too badly in the meantime.

I suggest you pray to satan and the rest of the dark pantheon if you don't want that to happen.

>>16922321

This should have a higher roll.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16922435

Fuck, I forgot my roll.

rolled 36 = 36

>>16922321
>>16922336

This makes the most sense. Also, sad slime eyes are a known carcinogen. We need to get him to stop the waterworks ASAP.

>>16921382


On an unrelated note, part two of the thing no one asked for! Try and contain your excitement. It kills time between posts AND brain cells. It is like alcohol, but way less interesting.

I've noticed a trend with EVO Quest lately. The longer it takes for the OP to come out with the next update the more awesome it is. OP has been working on something for some time now and I'm close to wetting myself in anticipation.

>>16922490

This quest thread is so fucking awesome someone is actually creating a spin-off comic based on our adventures.

>>16922492

I know, I'm wrestling between my overwhelming need to sleep and equally overwhelming need to see WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

>>16922336
>>16922327
>>16922321
>>16922336

"Ores! C-Can't leave behind ores..." Seventeen wibbles piteously. "Preciouses... so much art to make!"

>HURP.

One Aazz translation later, Seventeen sniffs, still quivering slightly, but he's looking somewhat reassured. He's still murmuring about 'preciouses,' though.

.... that settled, you turn to your two bulkiest advisers, Aazz and Steelbark, who are glaring fucking DAGGERS at each other. "Alright, you pointy-eared namsy-pansy treehugger," the former Sunfang chieftain snarls. "You got a LOT of fuckin' explaining to do, eh? Poppin' in out of goddamn nowhere and talking big about this Bolbox guy like you know EXACTLY how he's gonna move! Why, I oughtta fuckin' tear your head off and-"

>BLORP!!

"... fine... yeah, okay, my lord, I won't," Aazz relents slightly, settling back down. "But you got some explaining."

"We heard... stories. In the warbands, I heard many things." Steelbark retorts, the ice to Aazz's fire. "They are why I was working in the pits."

(continued)

>>16922520

"And because of YOUR fuckin' words, we're just going to uproot ourselves and run off!?" Aazz shoots back, poking Steelbark in the forehead for emphasis. "You think we're all fuckin' barbarians with nothin' going for us? We got the motherfucking Guardian here! We ain't losing to no goddamn Bolbox!"

"I know the Guardian's power. I know the sunfang's power. It will not be enough to defeat our mortal enemy in common. And he IS both of our mortal enemies," Steelbark adds, cutting off Aazz as he opens his mouth. "I know enough of the old ways to remember that much."

Aazz... blinks. "You... know of the old ways." It's not a question. In response, the woodfolk merely grins- a tight, thin-lipped grin, but a grin nonetheless.

>"Fight for survival, and for food."
>"Only move forward; never move back."
>"Evolve, and become strong."

By the end, both Aazz and Steelbark were speaking in unison; you're not sure why, but this time, you feel something resonate within you as you hear those words. A huge, nostalgic swell of emotion. Briefly, you see the sky in your mind, flowing like water.

... well, Aazz isn't going to tear Steelbark's throat out, at least; he's staring at the woodfolk in something like awe.

And then... well.

>SENSE!
First three 1d40 rolls, 35 or above.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16922525
I've never rolled above 20 before BUT I HAVE A GOOD FEELING

rolled 9 = 9

>>16922525

OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. Everyone is drunk. Our dicks are hanging in the metaphorical wind.

>>16922490
>>16921382

rolled 31 = 31

>>16922525
Rolling for profound revelation.

rolled 30 = 30

>>16922525

>>16922530
>>16922543
>>16922549
OH WHAT FUN

>>16922530
>>16922543
>>16922549

FFFFFFFUCK SO CLOSE

rolled 17 = 17

>>16922525
GOD DAMN I WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER
YOU WILL GIVE US THE BLORP AND YOU WILL GIVE IT NOW

rolled 11 = 11

>>16922525

DICE GODS GIVE US SOME FUCKING INSIGHT HERE

...Please?

rolled 3 = 3

>>16922585

Once again, the dice lords prove to be MASSIVE FLAPPING BADGER CUNTS.

rolled 22 = 22

Well shit. We're so close to understanding it, but our cave salamander brain is at the very precipice.

Shall our advisors explain, herr BLORP, as we've rolled so close?

>>16922610
Good news: the sense roll had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation.

Bad news: the sense roll had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the CONVERSATION.

>"Fight for survival, and for food."
>"Only move forward; never move back."
>"Evolve, and become strong."

Oh HELL FUCK yeah!

>>16922625
Oh, joy.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16922625

...We're about to get sneak-attacked right the fuck out of nowhere, aren't we.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16922625
WELL GREAT. Something is about to jump us, isn't it? ISN'T IT?

God damn it, someone is about to get shanked. I pray that it is our bony salamander ass, because we can take it just fine.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16922625

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Goddammit, we used to crit these checks all the time like a boss, what happened?

rolled 5 = 5

>>16922642

Yup.

rolled 20 = 20

last time we failed a perception check we got cold cocked by a boss

>>16922651
Well, I can't think of anything we did that would anger the dice gods besides that giant dick move we pulled at the beginning.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16922681
IT WAS FUNNY!

rolled 34 = 34

>>16922681

Too be fair, we pulled that giant dick move BECAUSE of the dice gods.

We have forgotten the face of our father.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16922681

Yeah. We got a 39 for it, but the 40 to resurrect the woodfolk that we ordered killed should've clued us into the fact that the gods were not pleased by our action.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16922695
WHO ARE YOU TO INTERPRET THE WILL OF THE GODS?

>>16922702
>>16922695
>>16922692
>>16922681
Guys, this is how cults form.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16922719
NONSENSE. WE'RE A PERFECTLY REASONABLE NONMILITANT SECT.

NOW SHUT UP BEFORE WE HAVE TO SMACK YOU AROUND AND THEN HAVE A PARTY ON TOP OF YOUR SHATTERED CIVILIZATION.

... ACTUALLY, DON'T SHUT UP. PARTYING IS GOOD. AND YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN, TOO!

>>16922530
>>16922543
>>16922549
... and you sense absolutely nothing amiss.

Meanwhile, Aazz manages to stop staring. "H... how? Fuck, man, I thought I was the only one! Me and... goddamn. And you're a fucking WOODFOLK!" he mutters, rocking backwards a bit.

Steelbark shrugs. "I do not know how. I just know. The rules came into my head, along with the knowledge that Bolbox is our sworn enemy."

"Fuck, man, -I- didn't know that much!" Aazz groans, slapping a ghostly palm against an equally ghostly forehead. "Un-fucking-fair- okay. Okay, hold it. Dreams?"

Steelbark shrugs. "Of a strange blunt-ear woman with the entire-"

"- sky as her hair. Oh god fucking DAMMIT." Aazz rolls his eyes. "He's probably motherfucking legit," the sunfang says reluctantly, this time to you. "Dunno how the fucker knows more than I do, but- oh, I KNOW you were smirking at me, asshole!" he suddenly snaps at Steelbark, who has that usual expressionless face.

"I don't know what-"

(continued)

>>16922756
... and that's you feel a pulse of WRONGNESS- and hear screams coming from the edge of the party, screams that finally overpower the sheer amount of background noise your sunfangs are making- but before you can react, the dirt around you starts getting torn up with THOK-THOK-THOK sounds.

Aazz is completely unfazed, but- there's a spray of blood, and Razz goes down with a shriek, jerking twice as if hit by some sort of invisible shots. Steelbark hurtles out of the way, but not before jerking once himself, clutching his shoulder with a hiss. Even Seventeen is forced to withdraw into his shell, his shell standing firm against-

What the hell IS this assault!? You take to the air instinctively and-

- are lanced down by a burning hot beam of light that clips your side, your body screaming in pain at you even as you hit the ground rolling.

In those moments when you were airborne, you manage to catch sight of your attacker- no, your attackerS, who are slowly trundling out from the woodfolk's overseer's hut, with sunfangs running the hell away from them. For a moment, you mistake the attackers as forgeslugs, but then you realize they look VERY subtly different- and it's something that takes you completely off-guard.

You are under attack by metallic cubes. Impossibly shiny, seamless metallic cubes with strange... TOOLS protruding from underneath that top lid.

- what the everloving FUCK!?

>COMMAND?

rolled 30 = 30

>>16922681

You are ill-versed in the will of the ancients. They demand blood and sacrifice, and show favor onto those who try to bend reality to their will.

rolled 33 = 33

Get the fleshy beings under our administration the FUCK out of harm's way and send our devoted gestalt skeleton abomination to the fight (if it's still a viable option)!

Also get a medic for the wounded.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16922771
Biomancy them to the ground, keep them still any way we can, and cover them in webs before they do anything else.

>>16922771
If we can get our biomancy to register them as living, force them the fuck out of their shells whatever they are.

If not call BeaRex and Cerebus to fuck shit up. Meanwhile we'll go straight colossal to draw their fire away from our folks and get to the stompy bits.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16922795
Whoops, forgot my roll

rolled 36 = 36

>>16922771

We will give a small prayer to the Ancients, offering up these metal cubes to them once we get done pummeling the fuck out of them with our mantis claws.

FOR THE ANCIENT ONES!

rolled 24 = 24

>>16922803
>mantis claws

*Ahem* Mantis fists I meant.

>>16922795

Where are BeaRex and Cerebus? I thought that they were supposed to be guarding the portal! Unless they're dead, they had better have a good excuse for not warning us about these things.

Stopping the votes here!

rolled 30 = 30

>>16922771

ALL NON-COMBATANTS AND INJURED TO THE PORTAL NOW. Warriors sober enough to fight stay, otherwise get everyone out of here! Find 17 and get him spitting molten metal at these sons of bitches. Biomancy/titanium web them to ground to give our forces time to escape/regroup. Start dive bombing them and hitting them with our mantis shrimp claws. Hopefully "enough force to break a wall" is enough force to pierce their armor. Or stun them.

Those chunks of metal will make excellent armor by the time we are done with them. Nobody crashes our party. Nobody.

rolled 33 = 33

>>16922837

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tATaUFShLjc&feature=related

Op, this is what needs to happen. Those big meaty claws aren't just for attracting mates.

>>16922803
>>16922802
>>16922825
... alright, Ancients, do you see this bullshit that we gotta put up with? Giant lizard kings, flying sharks, and psychotic woodfolk fanatics worshiping some stupid god, and now a bunch of metal cubes?

We fucked everything before the cubes- that we will dedicate for YOU!

Prayers finished, you scuttle through the grass, straight at the box that opened fire on you, and start landing mantis-shrimp-punches against its shiny metal chest. THWOK- it dents. THWOK- it actually cracks. THWOK-

- the entire front of the goddamn thing caves INWARD with a CRACK, causing it to convulse and spark. You catch sight of strange metal innards, too complex for you to understand, before thick black smoke rises from its battered form, obscuring anything inside.

... you realize that the things were never alive in the first place. You couldn't sense a goddamn THING from them with your biomancy! They're... they're just moving metal boxes with nonsensical metal organs!

You risk a glance back at your advisers; Aazz has the injured ones backed up into the Meteor. Only Seventeen hasn't moved, and that's because he looks like he's just seen a nightmare that's come to life. Honestly, you're on the verge of ordering them into the portal, when...

>>16922839
... you realize that that would be a fuckhoribble idea. The nine other boxes that are out firing on anything that's moving are... coming from the overseer's hut, where the teleporter is LOCATED. And you don't recall seeing any metal boxes in the overseer's hut when you searched it...

Oh jesus FUCK. You see Bearex stomping and kicking boxes as much as it can, but the metal boxes are uncommonly agile, and just- ROLL out of the way, shooting up Bearex and blackening his bones. You do not see Cerberus anywh- oh wait, there he is trying to ravage a box with his teeth and failing miserably.

Goddamn, you're going to need a plan.

>COMMAND?

>>16922914
Okay, just gotta thing this through. Summon up some biomancy to weave the grass into strong vines to hold those things still. Tell everyone to retreat, then shadow walk up to each in turn and crack the open.

rolled 36 = 36

>>16922967
Rolling

rolled 4 = 4

>>16922914
We need to give someone else the mantis arms(Via biomancy), and try to get 17 out of it and shooting metal.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16922914
Smash the FUCK out of the boxes. The roots have spread through the meteor, yes?

Well, FUCK THOSE BOXES. Biomancy the roots, rip up the stone of the meteor and CRUSH THEM ALL IN ONE FELL SWOOP. Then biomancy the stone and roots back into place, leaving everything tidy and proper and pretty. If our organic mantis shrimp mandible-punches can crush them, then what can we do putting our biomancy power to work on similar principles with rock and biomancy'd roots?

rolled 22 = 22

We are not equipped to deal with a threat like this. Have Aazz join you and bear rex in the fight, send everyone else away.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16922914

These things are mechanical. We need to use that to our advantage.

Tie them up as per

>>16922967

With titanium webbing to boot if we can muster it. Order everyone who is alive and made of squishy flesh to get to safety. Doesn't matter where at the moment.

Create the organic blob we made before and steam roll over the metal cubes like a tidal wave. Hope that they are not water proof. Once ANY biomass gets inside them, cause it to explode/grow. Preferably exponentially. I know we made plasma on a crit, so that if the ancient ones will it. Even if they are water tight, that should prevent them from moving so quickly.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16922914

Rally the troops, use biomancy to bind the cubes and bring them back down to the ground so we can hit them.

Also use Calming aura once on our OWN troops so they don't start panicking.

rolled 13 = 13

>>16923037

Addendum back up plan. Go electric eel in the biomass on them if they are water proof. Hopefully they are less magic and more circuits.

>>16922967
>BLORP!

"Everyone! Clear the fuck out!"

The sunfangs do NOT need any more convincing; those who tried to stand and fight start making towards the sound of the voice- Aazz and the Meteor- and the battlefield continues emptying of living bodies, but this time with PURPOSE.

... Aazz's voice attracted the boxes, too, but you're already dealing with that. With an almighty bellow, you draw on your Biomancy; the grass beneath your feet pulses and then grows, blossoming like wildfire on a super-dry day and enveloping the cubes as much as you can. No matter how much they strain, they cannot beat your makeshift vines, at least not yet...

With a mighty roar, Bearex manages to kick two into the giant pit, and Cerberus still has the attention of one box. That leaves six of the strange constructs...

... who all swivel one of their strange protrusions to face you as you dash towards them. Their lasers are charging!?

>DODGE!
FIRST THREE 2d40 ROLLS, SUCCESS UNKNOWN

2d40

rolled 25 = 25

>>16923063
FUCK SHIT COCK

REPEATING THIS, MEANWHILE, IF WE WHAT MANAGE TO DODGE AND HAVE TIME TO COUNTER

>>16923012

rolled 27 = 27

>>16923070
Whoops, capcha ate the 2d40. ROLLING THE SECOND DIE.

rolled 33 = 33

>>16923063
Fuck you cube, I'm gonna Godhand you!

rolled 26 = 26

>>16923080
ATATATATATATATAT

rolled 23, 17 = 40

>>16923063

WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK WE ARE!

Okay, stopping the rolls since... well, I have six d40 rolls!

rolled 19, 40 = 59

people here can't count

rolled 37, 15 = 52

>>16923104

You have got to be blorpin' kidding.

>>16923070
>>16923077
>>16923080
>>16923083
>>16923086

SHIT SHIT SHIT- you get a move on, scuttling sideways through the grass as the lasers start firing in succession, getting harder and harder to dodge with each shot fired-

>25
- you just barely manage to dodge the first salvo, and feel the heat of the lasers passing right over your head and between your wings-

>27
- this puts you in a good position to twist out of the way, sidewinding through the grass; the second barrage smashes into the ground where the FIRST salvo hit, and the smell of scorched earth is fleeting, you're on the move-

>33
- you're in range! You jinx out of the way of the THIRD barrage, which tracked where you WOULD'VE been had you kept going straight, and you manage to mantis punch the first box, cracking its shell wide open-

>26
AAAAHAHHHGH

- the lasers converge on your position before you can get out of the way, and you feel SOMETHING burning horribly. Pain lances through you, and you snarl, hurtling towards the next box-

>23
>17
- and the remaining lasers cut at you, blackening the skin across your back and blinding a few of your eyes. You dimly register that you are ON FIRE, and you manage to hurtle into the cover of a SCREAMING MEAT TREE, where the lasers start cooking the earlier results of your Biomancy.

... that could have gone a little better. You are no longer on fire, but you're not doing so hot; another barrage may be more than even you can handle. Dimly, you hear the sounds of Bearex kicking another can into the pit, roaring in sheer anger at the temerity of these interlopers.

The vines are holding them in place a LITTLE bit longer, at least...

>COMMAND?

rolled 23 = 23

>>16923172
More Biomancy! Fuck up their lasers by filling the air with water-vapor

>>16923172
The meat tree! Biomancy the meat tree into a bio-organic acid cannon and melt the rest of the fuckers!

rolled 7 = 7

>>16923205
Rolling.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16923172
>>16923012
I REPEAT

SMASH THE FUCK OUT OF THEM WITH METEOR CHUNKS BIOMANCY'D INTO HORRIBLE FLAILS AND GIANT STONE MANTIS-FISTS THROUGH THE ROOTS GOING THROUGH OUR CHAMBER, AND SMASH THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE GODDAMN BOXES

rolled 5 = 5

>>16923205
Rolling.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16923172


>Create the organic blob we made before and steam roll over the metal cubes like a tidal wave. Hope that they are not water proof. Once ANY biomass gets inside them, cause it to explode/grow. Preferably exponentially. I know we made plasma on a crit, so that if the ancient ones will it. Even if they are water tight, that should prevent them from moving so quickly.

>Addendum back up plan. Go electric eel in the biomass on them if they are water proof. Hopefully they are less magic and more circuits.

rolled 13 = 13

Slam them repeatedly with huge vines and various vegetation using biomancy.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16923249

Really dice gods? That wasn't good enough for you? Fine. Rock falls, everyone dies. We are going to rip off a boulder sized-chunk of the meteor with biomancy and roll the fuck our of the now immobilized chunks of metal.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16923211

You have much rage. That will serve us well on the battlefield.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16923278
Don't mock them! But your plan is a good one, we should crush them with rock vines.

rolled 22 = 22

>>16923172

Guys, we're to fucking tame. WHat is this shit, vines and leaves? WE NEED TO MOVE THE WHOLE GOD DAMN FOREST AND CRUSH THESE FUCKERS UNDER TONS OF BIO-MATTER!

Also we should be throwing plasma lances at them while beating their cube-faces in with our mantis fists.

>>16923199
>>16923211
Alright... it's time to take off the kiddie gloves.

You charge your OWN little laser, made from the essence of life, and immediately blast THROUGH the meat tree, creating a shower of blood; a little more judicious Biomancy turns it into a cloud of vapor. You'd like to see them TRY to see you through all of that...

But- for whatever reason, the boxes' lasers seem to have trouble charging, flickering fitfully in the murk. Not quite as planned, but you'll take it!

You take this time bought to form the next part of your plan... and you concentrate so hard that your vision goes green once more. You FEEL more than you hear the cracks from the meteor, as you command the roots to heave, grasp, and-

- to the outside eye, the meteor appears to shoot out a rocky fist, attached by vegetable matter, right into the midst of the boxes, crushing two of them into powder.

The three boxes remaining break free of their bonds, though, and you lose your grasp on the METEOR FIST, too weak to continue-

- and Bearex, battered but still standing, immediately kicks the nearest remaining box into the abyss once more. Cerberus finally rips his box into pieces-

And your two minions advance on the last two boxes.

>COMMAND?

rolled 25 = 25

>>16923315

Ancient ones, here our plea! Your humble servants ask that you give us the strength to enact your will. I know that we do not show you all the devotion you deserve, but should you grant us your blessing we shall not rest until the entire world bows before your glorious divinity!

rolled 40 = 40

>>16923319
Pokemon Battle.

rolled 17 = 17

Make a huge katamari damacy like ball out of the forest around us and use it to crush these fucking boxes!

rolled 17 = 17

>>16923328

Ancient ones give us a 40!

rolled 23 = 23

>>16923330
What the fuck, Dice? I get a 40 for that?

rolled 8 = 8

>>16923319

CHECK FOR TRAPS. And by traps, I mean the inevitable boss that is lurking somewhere in the shadows. Barring that, gather our people and get to healing them pronto. We are going to need everyone we can get.

rolled 39 = 39

>>16923330

Bearex I choose you!

rolled 18 = 18

>>16923361

Whoops. Ignore that post. I thought our guys had already smashed those buggers.

Shadow teleport behind the distracted boxes and mantis punch them senseless.

>>16923330

Really? REALLY?

>>16923330
BEAREX! I choose you!

BEAREX used HI JUMP KICK!
It's super effective!
BOX 1 fainted!

CERBERUS used BITE!
It's not very effective...

BOX 2 used BULLET SEED!
It's not very effective...

BEAREX used MEGA KICK!
It's not very effective...

But BOX 2 is at low health!
Capture it?

>COMMAND?

rolled 21 = 21

CAPTURE THAT MOTHERFUCKING BOX!

rolled 34 = 34

>>16923381
Yes, this is exactly what I wanted to happen! Capture box!

>>16923381
RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR ITS WORKY ZAPPY BITS! Then, yes, once it is disarmed, capture the damned thing.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16923330
>>16923370

...And apparently the ancient ones loved watching 90s anime.

rolled 3 = 3

Biomancy up a giant ball made out vines and use it to capture the last box.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16923410
Whoops. Rollan.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16923381

We shall summon the life-energies of the surrounding forests to entrap the cube. Life itself shall pour through the cube's metal frame and it shall resonate with the vibrations of the earth.

With all life come death, and so shall we pulse entropic waves through it's metal core so that it will rust and know that death touches all things no matter what they are made of.

These two inverse energies shall create a solar pulse that will be nigh-unbreakable for those not versed in the magic arts.

Finally we shall ordain this magical ball with the might of the ancients, so that time itself will make these bonds last for eternity.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16923381


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBNcjvxLfFc

rolled 14 = 14

>>16923430

And to finally consecrate the sacred orb of capturing we shall assault it with our fists, to make the bonds unbreakable under even the most extreme might.

rolled 21 = 21

>next time stream we are upgrading the FUCK out of our spidy sense
>adding 76 eyes
>tremor sensitive paddings on our feet

I am tired of getting ambushed because of trolling dice

>>16923387
Bearex puts a giant foot on top of the metal box, shutting its lid and preventing it from using any of its attacks. Or moving.

You have captured BOX 2, as long as Bearex doesn't actually move.

... right then. You take stock of your surroundings- there are more dead woodfolk and sunfangs than you'd like, to be honest, and most of the corpses look very much filled with holes. Or are burning.

Aazz rises up out of the ground next to you, looking grim. "... we're working on getting most of the guys patched up. But- Razz ain't in a good way. Don't know if he's gonna make it," he says without any preamble. "We... fuck, we also can't find Seventeen. What's the word, Guardian?"

>COMMAND?

rolled 4 = 4

>>16923381
Take flight and strafe the boxes while keeping a random tumbling flight pattern. Grapple them in swoops and sling them against the meteor at the speed of FUCK to crack them open. Use Bearex to run interference.

rolled 13 = 13

Send Cere to find Seventeen.

Use our biomancy to save Razz. Our ass spews the very stuff of life. We can fix him, make him better, faster, stronger than before.

Keep Bearex on that box. We shall examine it later.

rolled 5 = 5

>>16923451
Go about to extrude life webs on the wounded (Especially Razz), and send some able bodied men to find 17. Send Aazz and cerberus to guard the telaporter so we don't get jumped again.

rolled 25 = 25

>>16923471
Seconded. YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE, GODSPEAKER, YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY.

rolled 7 = 7

Biomancy Razz. Save Razz1

rolled 22 = 22

Use our calming aura to keep people calm while trying to save as many people as possible with our healing powers.
Also order someone to stand guard at the teleporter at all times.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16923451
Attend to Razz, assist his wounds with Biomancy. Have the fit collect eh wounded and get them prepped for some Blorp medical attention. Get a scounting party to search the nearby huts and surrounding area, if any more of these things are out there I want to know about it.

Keep Bearex parked on the Tin Can and add some vines to ensure it stays shut. Then organise a search party and FIND 17!

I want to know what the HELL those things were and he is the only mechanoid savvy party member.

Also snack on the remains of one of the boxes. Technology this advanced denotes either we are woefully behind in our tech tree and someone have gone straight to Tier 3 OR power stones fuckery. If it is the latter we might harness some TIME STREAM.

rolled 16 = 16

>>16923495
>ambiance in the after math of the battle
>for those lost and the grim outlook of this new enemy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMDSrYAsmuY

rolled 14 = 14

>>16923471
>>16923493

Razz needs us. To healing.

rolled 11 = 11

>>16923451

I understand now! The ancients did not bless us with a nat 40 because their scope extends far beyond mortal man's. Now we shall perform a feat of magic so mighty that all will hail us as their savior and will grant upon us undying loyalty.

We must use our biomancy to mend every single wound, but not only heal but to improve. We shall augment every single tribesman, whether lizardman or woodfolk into an unholy abomination to better serve our masters from beyond the stars!

Stopping the voting here!

rolled 32 = 32

>>16923514

>11

Well nevermind then. Let's just heal them and see how that goes.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16923523
WAIT. You got a 32!

Hell, you posted within the same minute as oour glorious game master. CAN'T IT COUNT? PLEEEAAASE? BLORP?

rolled 18 = 18

>>16923537
I was never a fan of rerolling. It gives an unfair advantage to the current high roll and causes tension when people just same spam the same post until it wins.

>>16923495
>BLORP!

You get right on those orders, snapping them out rapid-fire to your Wraithguard. Get the hale and hearty to transport those who aren't into the Meteor, and get all the remaining scouts and split them into two groups, one to do a sweep of the area and one to look for Seventeen because for the love of god you NEED that derpy forgeslug.

Aazz salutes with a fist on his chest before sinking into the ground- and YOU wing it back to the Meteor as fast as you can, bringing the largest chunk of metal box with you.

When you reach the Meteor's main cavern, you see a number of wounded already laid out along the path, being tended to by the leafdancers and some of the non-combatant personnel.

-- you have no time to waste at the moment, though, and land in front of your Godspoken. Razz is paler than you've seen him before, and his eyes are flickering. You immediately sense small, metallic pellets in him, two cold objects snarled in his life force, one in his shoulder and the other in some organ you don't know the name of-

- but you pump as much Biomancy into him as you can, and hope that you're not too late.

>HEALING!
Everyone... roll 1d40.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16923567

Live, live you son of a bitch! You were our first friend!

rolled 4 = 4

>>16923567
What good is infinite power... if you cannot save those you love?

rolled 39 = 39

Don't give up man, come on.

rolled 35 = 35

>>16923576
>>16923577
FUCKING GOD DAMMIT

rolled 7 = 7

>>16923567

DON'T YOU DIE ON ME BUDDY

rolled 32 = 32

Your god still needs you, leafdancer!

rolled 4 = 4

>>16923567
LIVE!!

You cannot die God spoken... you are my.... my....blorp

rolled 9 = 9

>>16923567
DIG THE BULLETS OUT OF HIM!

rolled 26 = 26

>>16923567
Herp! Gleep! Blorp, blorp!

rolled 14 = 14

C'MON CRITHEAL

HE IS OUR FIRST AND BEST LIEUTENANT WE NEED HIM TO BE ALIVE!

rolled 15 = 15

>>16923580

Razz is now immune to bullets apparently.

>>16923601
Well fourteen and forty kinda sound alike. I understand how that mistake could be made.

rolled 39 = 39

>>16923567
Going by the pattern, it seems the dice do not want Razz to live.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16923576
>>16923577
>>16923584
>>16923587
>>16923596
>>16923601
>>16923604

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26i8Qkj4BSc

>all these low rolls
Ready the tissues

>>16923615
>>16923580

What are you guys panicking for? WE HAVE TWO CRITS!

>>16923615
...Except they do, apparently. What the hell.

>>16923620
And like 8 rolls below 20!

rolled 32 = 32

ROLLAN'

>captcha: specific healing

rolled 6 = 6

Two 39's

TWO THIRTY NINES

RAZZ IS NOW IMMORTAL

rolled 29 = 29

rolled 1 = 1

>>16923567
Friendship can outlive anything

rolled 2 = 2

Stopping the rolls here!

rolled 34 = 34

>>16923627

>Immortal God Speaker

HELL YES MOTHERFUCKERS!

Also this is now Razz.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16923653
Dude look at the rolls. He is dead ; ;

rolled 14 = 14

>>16923662


OP goes with the -HIGHEST- Rolls out of all the posts.

Hes alive, better than ever, and possibly immortal.

rolled 8 = 8

>>16923577
>.. if you cannot save those you love?
>Implying we love anyone

I say let that fucker die, I never liked him anyway.

rolled 38 = 38

>>16923670
The way he asked for rolls I get the feeling he is going with the overall rolls and not relying on a single post.

>>16923670
>>16923653
Well, I said EVERYONE roll d40, and...

>4, 4, 39, 35, 7, 32, 4, 9, 26, 14, 15, 39, 4, 32, 6, 29, 1, 2
>=302

>18 dice rolled
>=720

>302/720 = 41%
>less than 50%

... I've got some bad news.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16923683

The system has always been that he picks the highest rolls made before voting ends, on special occasions such as DODGING A FUCKTON OF LASERS or doing Multiple attacks he uses all the rolls.

This is most likely one of the times he uses the highest rolls.

Otherwise that would be retarded and not fair at all.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16923701
Whenever he asked for a doging, perceptiom, or group of rolls to determine a pre-selected action he always gave a number of rolls he would take in the order they appear then add the math. this one he just said everyone roll. I get the feeling this is going to be what the overall rolls came out as. Otherwise the chances of scoring a really high or really low in a post and getting a crit is way too high without a limit....

And the post above yours

rolled 19 = 19

>>16923699
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqoxzWVIncE

Dammit dice gods

rolled 3 = 3

>>16923699
NO

NOT-A-FUCKING-GAIN

SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN

I... I guess he's joining the Wraithguard until we can properly revive him and Aazz... Oh, fuck, we can't even get him in the Wraithguard yet because we don't have enough necromantic power!

WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, RAZZ. SOON. WE WILL MARCH UPON THE GATES OF HELL ITSELF TO FIND OUR BRO HIGH PRIEST & GODSPEAKER.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16923699
Well, I think we all know why this happened.
>>16921536

We strayed from the path of brotastic leader, and angered the dice. They have chose to express their displeasure and
>>16923330
mock us.

We should take this as a lesson.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16923759
Yes, that opportunistic men will twist tragic happenstances to reflect their agenda and pass it off as the 'Will of God'.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16923759
You should have acted.
They're already here.
The Elder Rolls told of their return.
Their defeat, was merely a delay.
Til the time after sidewaysdiskmountain opened,
When the sons of Blorprim would spill their own blood.
But no-one wanted to believe.
Believe they even existed.
And when the truth finally dawns,
It dawns in CRITICAL FAILURES.
But,
There's ONE they fear.
In their tongue, he's /tg/:
SALAMANDERBORN!

>>16923699
You blast Razz's inert form with the essence of life, trying to get him back on his feet; the moment you stop, the glow dies back down. You feel his life force draining as if you'd never used Biomancy at ALL.

Again, then! You grit your teeth and send more pulses into his body; your powers cause him to jerk slightly, and his eyes and mouth are glowing green. Your power trails off; you're shaking, and you look down at him again, straining your ears for any sign of his usual nervous tic, or that voice of his, the one that's always nervous unless he's relaying your words to a crowd of his peers-

- Razz continues to weaken; you can barely feel ANYTHING from him now.

You stagger back towards him and place your arms on his chest, preparing another blast- but Razz shifts slightly, laying a hand on your head. Your Godspoken, still wearing that silly cobweb cape over one shoulder, cracks his eyes open, barely able to focus on you.

"Guar... dian...... it's... okay. 'M not... scared." Razz's head falls back, and he stares up at the ceiling, his breathing growing fainter. "... not scared. Guardian... just protect... the sun..."

You hear last rattling breath of the first sunfang you ever spoke to, and before you can even blink, Razz grows still.

>COMMAND?

rolled 20 = 20

>>16923807
weep

rolled 6 = 6

>>16923807
Weep

rolled 12 = 12

>>16923818
>>16923820
Revenge

rolled 12 = 12

>>16923807

A single "blorp" followed by a moment of silence for our fallen comrade. Unfortunately, there is no rest for the wicked. Heal everyone else we can. We lost one of our best today, and I'll be damned if we lose any more.

>>16923807
We shall shed tears for Razz, and then... then...

We shall have a memorial built. A timeless creation to Razz, our dearest companion and advisor, Razz the Godspeaker.

For all men shall look at this work and weep for the loyalty of Razz.

rolled 40 = 40

>>16923841
Damnit dice gods, not now. Do not mock the sacrifice of Razz. (Including roll for above action)

rolled 31 = 31

>>16923844
You see. The dice want us to remember. The dice killed him, and want us to remember.

rolled 32 = 32

>>16923807
...Cocoon the corpse with webs, such that it is preserved in perfect (or near enough) condition. Also, the next time we get a Power Upgrade, we are choosing Necromancy, and Razz comes back as a wraith.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16923807
I know it is difficult but we cannot delay. Move onto the others and begin calming and healing what we can. Leave the less serious to the mundane method of medical care so we can conserve energy.

Rest in peace old friend. I will cradle the sun itself in my protective embrace by the end of this. You will not have died in vain.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16923807
...

P...

PRAISE.

THE.

SUN.

LOOK UPON IT. LIKE A MAGNIFICENT FATHER. WE MUST STRIVE TO BE JUST AS GROSSLY INCANDSECENT.

WE ARE A GOD OF LIFE. OF DEATH. OF BLOOD. AND THEREFORE, OF THE SUN.

DON'T YOU SEE IT NOW? I HAVE HAD THE GREATEST OF EPIPHANIES. THE STARS GRANTED US THEIR BOON IN THE FORM OF SUNFANG METEOR, THROUGH ONE OF THEIR MISGUIDED CHILDREN, THE CHILD OF OUR GODS. THE SUN GRANTS LIFE AND DEATH, MORE THAN ANYTHING WE CAN DO. IT GRANTS LIFE TO OUR GODS, TOO.

THE SUNFANG WILL LIVE UP TO THEIR NAME. WE MUST MEDITATE. MEDITATE UPON THE POWERS OF THE RADIANT BODY THAT HAS GRANTED LIGHT AND LIFE UPON OUR WORLD. AND THEN, THEN WE SHALL ACT.

rolled 26 = 26

>>16923854
I fear we cannot. Tears aside that post got me thinking. Why couldn't we save him? We've done much greater things without fail, why were we not able to save a single Sunfang with ALL our power?

Those bullets did something to him. Neutralizing our powers or absorbing them for all we know. I think anything touched by those boxes will be beyond our control.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16923807

We immeditealy start eating his body so that even in death he might serve us.

Also we need to instruct our slaves to create a monument to the ancients in the meteorite main chamber which they are required to bow down to every day and give offerings of food(which we shall eat).

A black monolith will do. For now.

rolled 6 = 6

>>16923881
....fuck

It WOULD be what he would have wanted.

rolled 21 = 21

>>16923841
>We shall have a memorial built.

I agree with this. The memorial should be made out of the bones of those who failed us and be wrapped with the skin of the slaves who proved unworthy to bask in the ancient's radiance.

rolled 40 = 40

we sale make a monument to his loyalty and trust

rolled 38 = 38

>>16923890

Wait a minute. Why don't we just fucking revive him as a zombie or some shit? Why don't we revive EVERYONE who died in the attack as our new undead warband?

>>16923818
>>16923835
Weep? You don't have time to weep. You are the Guardian of the Earth. You have ended many lives, most of them woodfolk and crystal-favored, and you command two great titans of bone. You have stopped a meteor with nothing but your own powers! You defeated the other crystal-favored, and you know that the ancients above are the true gods. You will defeat that false god, and lead the sunfangs to glory. You... you...

... you are just...

... you blink rapidly because you cannot see straight. For some reason, there is water in your eyes, and it is making everything blurry.

You wish it would stop.

In frustration at your own powerlessness... your self-control slips, and you slam the ground with your forelegs, a pulse of Biomancy radiating outward. You ignore it and quickly tend to your other injured subjects, alternating between webs and your own power. Once that's done, you cocoon up Razz for.... for something. You know that it just felt right.

It is only after it is all done that you realize that everyone is staring at the back of the chamber, half in tears. You turn...

>>16923841
>>16923844
>>16923853
>>16923854
... and you see a larger-than-life statue in the shape of your Godspoken, made out of the trees, forged into a substance that you didn't even know existed on this planet. It's not a noble statue by any means; it's not charging into battle, or wielding a weapon, or doing anything but standing tall and looking up at the sky, but-

- the statue of Razz is standing next to where you were planning on putting in a throne, and shall loyally serve as your right hand man as long as Sunfang Meteor shall hold.

... shit. You're having trouble seeing again.

>COMMAND?

rolled 3 = 3

>>16923912

Necromancy limits.

>Necromancy, Lvl. 4
> Dominion over 3 undead at a time.
> 1) Aazz, 2) Bearex, 3) Cerebus

That being said, we really do need to patch everyone else up. The monument can wait a few hours. We will never let him be forgotten.

rolled 27 = 27

>>16923912
see
>>16923875

OP wouldn't of mad such a big deal about Razz dying unless he planned to make it permanent. The mysterious loss of potency of our powers is just a hint I think. Whatever those metal boxes are made out of, it seems to be ANTI-Crystal eaters.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16923920
Personally guard the portal until they find 17 and you can get a head count. Make sure this dose not happen again.

rolled 37 = 37

>>16923920
Exploratory SCIENCE!

We have a bone to pick with our captured garbage pail.


I really REALLY hope it can register pain.

rolled 10 = 10

>>16923920
This, once again, if we have time for it.

>>16923872

rolled 36 = 36

>>16923955
We can't do science until we find 17.

rolled 28 = 28

>>16923962
Oh we can do CRUDE science. Besides, the scouts will find him when they find him. There is nothing else for us to do up here except lament.

rolled 35 = 35

>>16923927

As much as it pains me to say, I think you are right. Our friend has entered the legend. Whether he comes back or not is up to our dedication and the ancients will. But it will not be an easy path, and chance for success is probably minimal. But when has that ever stopped us?

>>16923955
The healed sunfangs and woodfolk start picking up the pieces and dealing with the other dead in their own ways. You take one last look at Razz's forlorn body, which you placed at the foot of his statue, before taking wing and leaving the Meteor...

... to land in front of your captured metal box, which your faithful bone minions have kept an eye on it (or a foot, in Bearex's case). You HISS at the box, mantling your wings threateningly; the box temporarily stops thrashing, only to start again with renewed fervor at the sound of your voice.

... strange. It DID react. Now what shall you do with the thing?

>COMMAND?

rolled 19 = 19

>>16924000
It worked when we were in the cave

It worked when we were fighting a Bear

It worked when we killed the Astral Shark

It will work now

GLOOP THAT MOTHER FUCKER AND ATTEMPT TO PARASITE IT

rolled 4 = 4

>>16924000
Tear it apart. Figure out what makes its metal guts tick. If the lid opens only one one side, then stay to the side of it and rip the side plate away first. Since the laser-shooting appendages aimed forward and popped up through the lid, they could presumably fire on us again if we were to rip the front plate away first. Even then, stay on guard, because for all we know the appendages could turn to face the side as well.

rolled 20 = 20

>>16924000
Examine the exterior of the box, use our overdeveloped brain to try to figure out what it is and how it works.
Wait for 17 before we do any invasive examination.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16924000
Thump it. Not hard enough to do any damage, but enough to get a reaction.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16924000
Bite it

See what happens

rolled 19 = 19

Make it live...

Make it live so that we may speak to it...

So that it may know fear...

So that it may truly die.

rolled 10 = 10

We need an IMMEDIATE dose of man the fuck up. The first three tribsmen, woodfolk or lizardman, we look at, excluding commanders, are getting sacrificed to the ancients.

rolled 3 = 3

>>16924000

We need Seventeen to inspect it, see how it works and see if he can reproduce it. Secondly we need to destroy that teleporter. We can't have something like that open at our flank, it's too much of a liability.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16924071

>3

These fuckkin low scores, mang.

rolled 12 = 12

>>16924058
Fuck you, random dickbaggery is what made the ancients abandon us in the first place.

>>16924009
>>16924028
PARASITES AWAY! You fire a mouth-hook at the box... which actually does manage to puncture the exterior shell and hang on.

... you might as well have mouth-hooked a sword because you are seriously not feeling a goddamned thing.

You decide to look over the exterior of the box (save for the parasite that's wriggling on it). It's exactly the same size as a forgeslug, assuming that Seventeen is indicative for his race. Seriously, it's got the same blunted edges and everything; ignoring everything else, the only difference is that the metal is completely smooth, seamless, and without any (not parasite-or-T-Rex-foot-related) irregularities.

If the lid wasn't trying to pop off, you'd have assumed that there were no openings. Kind of like the disc that you saw on the mountain.

>>16924046
In frustration, you bite the box. You actually try biting the box.

... and you are extremely surprised when your teeth slice straight through as if it was flesh. It's still metal, but for some reason, you can chew it. Almost as if...

... almost as if it were MADE of crystal. Weak, not nearly as potent crystal, otherwise you would've felt it, but crystal nonetheless.

>COMMAND?

rolled 15 = 15

Obviously we need to upgrade all of our sunfangs and loyal elves into something more survivable.

3 max upgrades per should give us some room to make them better.

rolled 9 = 9

>>16924080
Devour it! DEVOUR THEM ALL, IN FACT! Leave but one, preferrably intact, for 17 to inspect; retrieve the rest and eat them!

rolled 3 = 3

>>16924075
>Fuck you, random dickbaggery is what made the ancients abandon us in the first place.

Son, you've no idea what the ancients want in the slightest. It was obviously the ancients will that he get killed and our extremely lame response to his demise is what caused us to fall out of favor with the ancients.

The ancients reward acts of bloodthirstiness, had we done something badass instead of crying like little bitches I'm sure we'd be seeing ALOT more 40's.

rolled 4 = 4

>>16924080
Find all the scraps from the battle. Eat them. Don't eat this one though, this one we save for 17 to examine.

rolled 14 = 14

Check to make sure it isn't fucking seventeen then maybe eat it or something.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16924080

Leave this one "alive" for the moment. Go eat the rest we smashed and come back. Maybe get Steelbark over here to see if he can use telepathy on it. It might be more willing to "talk" after seeing us devour all of its compatriots remains.

Also, where is 17. I am getting worried about him being gone so long.

ACTUALLY, hold that thought, I just realized that it's 2:30 am and the thread is autosaging because we have like 300+ replies to it.

Posting a thread-ender, then we're picking up on Sunday!

rolled 18 = 18

>>16924094
Sod off, you mindless berserker. This is not becoming another Heresy Quest. We do not need a Khornefag.

rolled 23 = 23

>>16924080
Eat the dead boxes, EAT AND EVOLVE!

rolled 29 = 29

>>16924080

Wait! We shouldn't eat them yet. We need a feast to be held in the late razz's honor, where we shall gourge ourselves on tons and tons of food. This is the only way to bulk up and gain more powers. The metal boxes shall be used as seasoning to help instigate evolution.

rolled 1 = 1

>>16924094
The start of all this misery was our random Dickbag deathmatch, which the ancients immediately rectified by allowing us to bring the wronged parties back to life. After that, the only crit we received was for a joke suggestion. I do not think they could make their displeasure for such stupidly bloodthirsty actions any more clear.

rolled 18 = 18

>>16924106
He either went through the portal or we're chewing on him.

rolled 34 = 34

>>16924110
>>16924110
>Sod off, you mindless berserker. This is not becoming another Heresy Quest. We do not need a Khornefag.
>YFW

Wow, you must be the same kid from a few threads ago who was crying about how we weren't "TEH BAD GUIZ" and kept quoting heresy quest, as if that is in anyway relevant to this thread, which it is not.

Not only that but i've been in this thread since it's conception, i'm not leaving because some idiot doesn't know how to follow the sequence of events. Like I told you last time most of our actions involve killing and violence to some degree, the ones that don't are the exceptions and even these aren't "good" actions.

>>16924080
Before you can decide what to do with the crystal(?!) box and the remains of its fellows, the scouts return. They.. probably have important news, since they're RUNNING AS FAST AS THEY CAN TOWARDS YOU.

The first scout, of the group sent to secure the area, is wide-eyed and panicking. "Guardian! The- the teleporter! It's red! It's glowing motherfucking RED! I don't- I don't even fucking know what- it's really goddamn scary, and there are weird sparks, and, and- words! Words on the teleporter now!"

The second scout speaks up. "Found Seventeen! He's- he's in the pit! Underground! I mean, we- we saw the boxes that Bearex fucking punted into the pit, and something tore them apart, looks like they were shot up by burning metal balls like Seventeen's, he, he went into a side-tunnel! Fuckin' heard him... crying. Laughing. Both."

You stare at one scout. Then at the other.

This is not shaping up to be one of your better days.

>THREAD END- To be continued!

rolled 15 = 15

>>16924080
FUCKING


CALLED IT

As usual, thanks for following this quest, guys- I've archived the thread and will be starting up again on Sunday at the usual time, 8 pm EST.

Thoughts, criticism, questions, inconsistency-noting, or whatever the hell you guys can come up with are always welcome.

rolled 4 = 4

So tell me, one who has been here as long as I, where would your path take us. What interesting things would happen in you world of "eat everything, The Quest?"

Look at this poor, bloodthirsty soul, who knows not what character development is.

rolled 7 = 7

>>16924195
Did you intend for us to get our ass kicked this badly?

rolled 18 = 18

>>16924195
As the guy who made the roll that spared Razz from our level 1 mouth hooks long ago, I am pouring one out for my imaginary homie. He played his part like a true bro.

rolled 33 = 33

>>16924155
WE MEET AGAIN.

Moderation and self control will earn us far more than "HURR HAVE THEM BEAT EACH OTHER WITH ROCKS TO SPEAK TO US." That isn't "engaging in actions involving violence and killing with a purpose," it's "engaging in pointless violence because lolgrimderp." It isn't that you're going for violence, it's that the violence has no point. You know. Trying to get us to slaughter the entire Woodfolk population that could be useful to us, when we need every body we can get because HOLY FUCK A SHOGGOTH DEMIGOD IS COMING TO SLAP OUR SHIT. The hurr durr rock death match.

For cripes' sake, the general sentiment is against your gittery, not just my own. I'm not telling you to stop going for pragmatic or ruthless actions or going on about 'good' or 'bad.' I'm telling you to stop pushing us towards stupid evil acts like that retarded death match and engaging in genocide for Lebensraum when up to that point we'd been campaigning to free the woodfolk and take them under our banner.

Why is that every quest I grow to love always ends up with some underage lolKhorne faggots trying to ruin it for the rest of us? Seriously, it's happened in happened in both Heretic quests, it's starting to happen here. The only quests I love that seem to be spared this are the ones that break the record for sillyness (lookin at you ZergQuest and Abaddon Quest bros, even if Abaddon Quest has a heavy dose of faggotry and perversion mixed into it)

>>16924208
Sort of. I wanted things to be more of a challenge, and I had been planning the metal boxes for a pretty long time. And also for this to be a step up in difficulty- we're starting the fight against a big hitter. So some asskicking was to be expected.

... I didn't expect or mean for it to be or feel like a curbstomp, though. How did the balance feel this time around?

>>16924223
... he came a long way from random NPC #8, to setting the magic/abilities of the sunfangs and then eventually becoming one of the few who could talk to and for us.

Just goes to show that you never know with these kinds of games.

>>16924233
>>16924155
... man, it's like you guys are the shoulder angel/demon for the salamander.

rolled 2 = 2

>>16924268
You don't say.

>>16924268
This felt like we got our shit completely ruined. I like it, we've never really had that happen before and I think it's a good experience.

As a aside, I don't think the entire thread has been archived. It stops at the point where we're trying to save Razz.

>>16924268

Getting our shit rocked could turn out to be a rewarding experience, even if it somehow felt to me slightly in the favour of the boxes.

Also, I'm not really sure that I like the entire thing you did in

>>16923699

It just seems kinda....dumb, to be honest, we went from using the post with the highest roll number for our effectiveness, to using EVERYONE'S ROLL AVERAGED TOGETHER. Which to be honest, doesn't make alot of sense to me. I don't care that this cause Razz to die, he would have probably died somewhere down the road anyway. It's just...it felt like that was done purposefully against us, I mean fuck, EVERYONE KNOWS that /tg/ dice are fickle as fuck and almost always roll low when you need to roll high. We have a fucking meme for that.

However, when you use multiple dice for situations like

>>16923172

It makes a -lot- of sense, mainly because rolling a single dodge for multiple attacks? Doesn't really make sense. But averaging together a fuckton of dice for a SINGLE action? Not so much.

But all that aside, was a good, if tragic thread, and I love this quest so much and fully support us going Diplomatic BroChampion, FIGHTAN is inevitable so that should appease the Khorne faggots that seem to infiltrate every quest ever, and JUST ENOUGH management and psuedo-politics to please the people who enjoy those things with a heavy dose of controlling our own actions and dialogue that interest other people.

>>16924361

Typed all that out with my single good hand and I doubt OP is still here.

;_;

rolled 22 = 22

>>16924233
>>16924233
> the general sentiment

The general sentiment is why we've murdered first and devoured the dead bodies later. Maybe you should go back and read the quest threads, but the "WEZ NOT EBIL" group are the ones who are out-of-character.


> I'm telling you to stop pushing us towards stupid evil acts like that retarded death match and engaging in genocide for Lebensraum when up to that point we'd been campaigning to free the woodfolk and take them under our banner.


I didn't come into this thread until after that post but I whole-heatedly agree with that anon's actions. We're not some manipulative suave bastard, which I have no qualms against becoming if the dice rolls make it so, but right now we're a genocidal, unholy abomination in service to terrible, terrible god-like beings trapped in the furthest reaches of the void.

But whatever, I'm not going to waste my time arguing this with you. It really doesn't matter what is said it call comes down to the dice rolls.