+2 Elf. Elves are beautiful creatures and laying with one is an honor.

>+1 Half-Ogre. Harder than you'd expect, in a lot of ways.
>-5 Rape. Remember, if she's fair or better, it's still positive points, and some of the worst bards are willing to take the penalty.
Coincidentally to these two being consecutive, does that variety of 'snoo-snoo' count for the -5?

-3 Ugly Undead (zombies, liches, etc.)- Innecrophilia is pretty nasty.
+2 Comely Undead (vampires, etc.) - Innecrophilia is pretty awesome.

OP says it's okay to rape women if they're beautiful!

>>16811290

More importantly, do you still get the rape deduction if you're the victim? Also, (on an unrelated note) what if they're a very feminine guy?

>>16811276
>-2 elf. Elves are sluts, the tavern wenches are harder to lay with.
FTFY

>>16811295
Some on the high bard council want to raise it to -10, but since no one really believes that the high bard council really exists, that motion has had a hard time passing. I'm all for it, personally, but some evil bards claim they wouldn't even be able to participate in the game.

>>16811302
If you get bedded, you are points, you don't get points.

Makes for some pretty interesting arguments in the morning whenever you sleep with another bard, I can tell you.

>>16811302
>More importantly, do you still get the rape deduction if you're the victim?
>more importantly
That was the exact meaning of my post.

>>16811269
+ 4 if its a dwarf that's a test of both drinking and endurance, but failure is a automatic -8.

I'm surprised there's not more stories of shortsighted bards raping good looking princesses

>>16811326
And if the beddie is a man? Feminine or non?

>-3 Ugly Undead (zombies, liches, etc.)- Innecrophilia is pretty nasty.
>1- Anything. You bed it, you get that point. A lot of the time, that lone point really isn't worth it.
>-2 Undesirable Virgin. Just because you're the first man to bother with her doesn't make her anything special.
>-5 Related to you. That's just not right.
>-1 Tavern Wench. You and every other adventurer in the area can share in that deduction
>-5 Rape. Remember, if she's fair or better, it's still positive points, and some of the worst bards are willing to take the penalty.

MAXIMUM NEGATIVE POINTS HERE I GO

>>16811354
dwarf you say

>>16811355
There aren't stories because any good ruler is well aware of these rules and will execute bards if they so much as raise an eyebrow toward there daughter.

+1 You write a song about it- That's right, you can increase the value just by singing about it. Unless the song is titled "Ode to All That I Regret in the Morning."

>>16811370
So, you're going to kill your fat, hideous tavern-wench virgin sister and raise her as a zombie and force yourself upon her?

>>16811326
>Makes for some pretty interesting arguments in the morning whenever you sleep with another bard, I can tell you.

Wait, does that mean 2 bards having sex would be more like any Star Trek fight scene that's mean to be in an arena (or at least some form of gladiatorial combat)?

>>16811388

But what if you're a bard who only knows how to write blues music?

>>16811378
How many bard kings do you know?

>>16811394
zombie you say

>>16811388
And additional 2 points if the girl hears it and is so flattered wants another go, but -3 points for each of your other bed mates who hear the song and want to "have a word with you"

>>16811394
I am not a very good bard.

>>16811427
OR ARE YOU?!

+5 fewer legs than you. Mermaids, lamia, and similarly nontraditional anatomies require creative thinking to score with, and if bards are to be rewarded for anything, sex and creativity are it.

+3 more legs than you. Centaurs, driders and such also require some new angles, but tend to be a little more straight forward.

+10 non-humanoid. this requires a sentient partner (we're not looking to encourage any bestiality here), and many arguments and embarrassments have been born from bards looking for a big score off the beaten path

-5 You run into one of your previous conquests, who has a little bundle of joy with your eyes.
-5 (additional) The above happens when you are chatting up your next conquest.
+20 You manage to bard your way into a threesome.

>>16811427

On the contrary. You are the greatest bard of our age.

>>16811441

Changed to -10 if it's a Devil's 3-way.

+1 for each level higher than you. Charming your way into the pants of folk who have better things to do is difficult.

>>16811441
20 points is a bit much. 3-5 is more appropriate.

>>16811441
That should read
+20 You manage to bard your way into a threesome with the above two.
A 'regular' threesome is only worth +10 points. (the other 10 is to make up for the two -5's)
A devils threesome, as has been established, is -10 points.

>>16811388
+3 If some other bard writes about it. If it really was that good, that's pretty damn impressive.

-3 If some other bard writes a parody about it entitled "The Quicksilver Bard and The Dame he Disappointed."

>>16811517
I still think even 10 points as a base is too much. You're already getting the cumulative points for both, and it's not as hard as some other things with much smaller modifiers.

>>16811453
virginfag here; what's that? now wait, I think I know: two guys, right?

>>16811545

No it's a three way with the Devil himself. Selling your soul to try and become a better bard is frowned upon.

>>16811517
Well, that's actually probably worth the +20.

Because, any bard that even suggests a threesome to those two probably has giant bells made of steel.

Do you get a bonus for STR 16 or higher?
What about monstrous but still humanoid races? -1 Dangerously Furry?
If an elf is +2, what's a gnome? Still fey origin.

>>16811571
>bells
>bard

I c wut u did thar

>>16811560
What about seducing THE devil?
Also, what about seducing Death herself? That should be worthy of some points.

>>16811560
Oddly, writing songs about it is usually applauded.

Strange are the minds of the bards.

>>16811588

Ah, seducing the Devil is a different matter entirely. I'm pretty sure that puts you in line for a promotion though.

>>16811588

Devil's kind of a slut. Not that big a deal.

>>16811580
I'd say Gnomes and Halflings are +1 because of similar problems to the +1 Half-ogres (only backwards)
If anything it just means a point for putting the resources/effort for some Reduce/Enlarge Person

>>16811269
You know we talk a lot about Bards bagging princess's, but what if say a bard became the personal consort to a empress? Would that be negative or positive?

Also having a child is obviously negative points, but what if you had ten kids and decided to raise them as a gang of pick pockets. Surely parenting could offer some redemption of points?

>>16811617

Gettin' tied down to one lady? That's no good man.

>>16811370

So you raped your slutty ugly cousin with a terrible personality that died a virgin and was subsequently reanimated by a necromancer to staff his tavern.

What if you're a female bard? Or does this game assume all female bards are lesbians?

>>16811588
seducing asmodeus comes with the usual male on male negative modifier, but would probably come out a net gain due to the bonus for being extraplanar, and the multiplier for divinity.

bedding a succubus is normally -10 since that's their job, and it might kill you. However, if you bed a succubus and get the better of her in the act, it flips to positive

>>16811629
"Big Breasts" is the only piece of the initial list that can't be fixed by changing the gender-dependent word.

Just wondering.
How long until a kingdom asks for their staple wizard to develop "anti-magic condoms"?
That would wreck all of those bards that like to exploit enlargement spells.

>>16811652
>>16811652
Big Pectorals?

>>16811629
For some reason, they don't seem to enjoy playing the game so much as their male counterparts.

I guess it's because if they just went into any tavern and spread their legs, they'd have a hundred points in a single night.

Game's are not much fun if they're too easy.

>>16811629
Female bards get points for a number of things and although looks give you positive points, the prestige of the target gives you significantly more points. Anyone gal can bang a charming fellow, not every gal gets to bang a warlord who slew a great dragon and then turned its skull into a bed. You also get points for the amount of there money you have them spend on you before ditching them.

>>16811666
Whatever SATAN, I'm not gonna listen to your vile generalizations.

>>16811669
>Anyone gal can bang a charming fellow, not every gal gets to bang a warlord who slew a great dragon and then turned its skull into a bed.
Unless they go the Genghis Kahn route and a couple centuries later 25% of the world's population is a direct descendent

>>16811629
all categories and qualifiers take into account the bard's gener and sexual preference. bedding outside of your preferred gender is frowned on, and a desirable lay is rewarded. any bonuses or qualifiers that have an analogue between genders apply to that analogue. if there is no gender analogue, then find your points elsewhere (i.e. straight female bards never get the +2 for big breasts, but the hung like a horse bonus is up for grabs)

>>16811666
>>16811669
Oh boy, here we go...

>statutory andPale
No, Captcha, that's negative points.

-1 Tavern Wench should be extended to milkmaids and other naive country girls. Its no great feat to tell the girl you're a great adventurer when the closest she's ever seen to a stranger is when Uncle Mopkin dressed up as a wizard that one time.

+5 Bragging Rights: if the girl is tellin all the town about how great you are, all the better

-2 Old News: for every girl you bed the first one told about how great you were. Not that hard when they all know you're fantastic

>>16811688
Well you have to keep in mind all those women were his wives, you only get points if you manage to avoid getting tied down and avoid getting prego (which is extra difficult with alpha male warlords because they happen to be very verile.)

>>16811629
Switch genders of the aforementioned scoring articles if you're straight.

>>16811708
+3 Dressing up as Uncle Mopkin dressing up as a wizard, and bedding his niece.

The look on her face when you pull off the first fake beard is priceless.

>>16811730
What if you dress up as the king and bed the queen?

>>16811730
Wouldn't that count as rape, though?

>>16811719
Yeah, tell that to High Lord Joralken the Sterile
(or maybe don't, to his face at least)

>>16811588
>Also, what about seducing Death herself?
+15 on top of any other modifiers.

If Death is an attractive young woman, that could add up to quite a lot with
>10 or 20 base appearance
>+1 Raven Hair
>+2 Comely Undead
>2x multiplier for divinity

Just be sure you don't follow her suggestion to go back to her place. Bedding Death is worth no points if she takes your life anyway.

>>16811730
>The FIRST fake beard
Your post made me smile.

>>16811745

Depends. Pretty sure even Bella the milkmaid can tell Uncle Mopking is acting a bit funny.

Just turning up as the King the Queens bedchamber might be rape though...

>>16811756
That makes for an entirely different challenge, because you have to get out of there before he kills you for not giving him a child.

>>16811759
But isn't she roomates with Life? Imagine the threesome potential!

>>16811745
Not if she enjoys herself after you take off the second fake beard.

>>16811744
What decent queen sleeps with her king? A bard's better off dressing up as a... well, bard.

>>16811617
If they continue the tradition in spectacular fashion, they increase your points by half of whatever they achieve.

Thus canceling out the negatives for having children in the first place, and producing a possibly limitless amount of points for this master bard.

>>16811756
Joralken gets a bad rap, you know why he's sterile? he got his nads nicked when he killed two dragons in one fight. you know why he got his nads nicked? he beat the dragons to death with them.

+5 for doing the deed in an unusual place.
Because it makes for a better song.

Bards really are the best sort of people.

But I swear, the second I have a daughter, I'm going to hunt down and neuter ever last one of them.

>>16811805
Should scale in how unusual it is. Doing the Mayor's wife during a Town Meeting, that's a +5. Doing her in the park at night would only be a +2 at best.

>>16811805

+5 Stealth Fuck: Doing the deed in plain view and not being uncovered

+5 May I join?: An observer joins in the festivities.

-7 Criminal Cum: Being caught

>>16811805
You really have to define "unusual"

+0 In the Kitchen. Yawn.
+2 In the Street, in broad daylight. A bit more exciting
+5 On the back of a flying dragon while soaring over an erupting volcano. Fucking Metal.

>>16811848
>+5 On the back of a flying dragon while soaring over an erupting volcano. Fucking Metal.
>Fucking Metal.
>"fucking" metal

>+1/+2/+3 for 'Protected Virgin'
Some virgins might be protected, be it by a cult intending to sacrifice her or a overprotective father. You receive a +1 if you succeed, but are caught in her bed, a +2 if you manage to evade the angry mob sent after you and a +3 if you are out of town before anyone notices.

>>16811779
+1 per fake beard.

>>16811890
+5 if it's for a virgin sacrifice, and you not only get the lay, but also get her out of there AND write a song about it.

>>16811866
+1 warforged. when you give other bards pause just to boggle at the event, it's generally worth a point or two.

>>16811905
that's just the generic +5 bedding/heroism combo bonus. there's plenty of ways to get that. though i've heard some say it's worth more when the bedding comes before the heroism.

>>16811913

+1 - 4 Nothing is Impossible!: Mating with a sentient being that does not have the anatomy or the equipment necessary.

>>16811939
Not before. During.

>>16811951
+5: the creature is incorporeal

>>16811965
>Ghost blowjob! WOOOO!

>>16811965
I'm not even sure if that counts.

>>16811978
It does, but you have to find a way to actually *do* it first.

>>16811982
Enchant your sword with Ghost Touch?

>>16811998
you have to give it to yourself, which is the problem. I guess if you enchanted a condom it could produce the same effect.

>>16811998
I believe there's an oil that you can put on a weapon to temporarily give it the ghost touch property.

I can assure you that wasn't its original intended purpose.

+1 - 10 Dangerously Sexy: Mating with something that is directly hazardous to your health, whether it be constantly wreathed in flames, or highly acidic, if you finish and are alive with all parts intact, you deserve a couple points

>>16812065
How much for a gelatinous cube?

And yes, it was consensual.

>>16812083
I've got a picture for that, but I'd be banned for posting it.

>>16812083
sentient partners only.

>>16811905
What if you bed the virgin sacrifice but you don't free her, and the cultists sacrifice her anyway, naively believing she's a virgin?

What if this causes the ritual to go horribly wrong and an eldritch horror manifests and noms on the cultists?

What if you're watching from the temple's window, trollfacing like a motherfucker the whole time?

>>16812108
That's an option, but not very heroic.

>>16812065
Does this modifier stack with the +2 for Comely Undead when bedding a vampire lass?

>>16812105
Can't I just take a -5 penalty?

Otherwise, I stand to lose all the points I've earned.

>>16812121
how on earth do you manage a positive score in any case

>>16812117
don't see why not

>>16812117

Are vampires inherently dangerous? If she's bedding you intentionally I figured that they wouldn't harm you.

>>16812121
I don't know about slimes, but i know bestiality is somewhere in the area of -50. it's not even a moral question, it's used by the really competitive players. if you ever see a bard wince at the mention of "that one night" when he got really drunk, with the donkey, it's because some other bard set him up.

balancing revelry with keeping your wits is the key to playing the game, drunk sex is the biggest cause of negative points after shapeshifting.

>>16812160
reputation plays a part. if she's inherently backstabby or likes kissing your neck i think you get the bonus, but if she has any kind of ritual when it comes to feeding, you're probably in no immediate danger in the sack.

>>16812160
>Are vampires inherently dangerous?
Perhaps the same could be said of all women.

Really? negative points for gay sex? Come on, you can hardly call yourself a bard if you're not at least a little bi from time to time.

>>16812180
Well played, well played.

>>16812259
Truly. We all know the best bards swing both ways, so to speak.

>>16812259
there's a negative modifier for guy on guy. If he's a beautiful man or other modifiers apply you can get it back up to positive. just don't run around fucking dudes if you're not gay.

though, if you're complaining about it, you probably are gay, and a lot of your scores likely need adjusting.

+10 Succubus. Cannot be conjured by you or ayone you know. If you survive this, you deserve the points.

>>16812259
Otherwise, bards would just fuck each other for points.

It's a game balance issue, not a political statement.

>>16811823
If you neuter any it will just make bedding your daughter worth more points.

Actually, lets compile this into a list.
That way we can actually pull this crap on our parties.

My sorcerer was the son of a bard, and grew up in a bard troupe, I want to start keeping score on my group, but not explain why or what.

>>16812259
If you're gay you switch the genders.

>>16812348
That brings up a good question. How does magic affect scoring? I assume Charm Person and like effects count as rape, but what about CHA boosting spells or using mind reading spells to figure out exactly what to say to get them into bed the fastest? Or shapechanging spells to bypass any sort of anatomical incompatibilities?

Bumping in the name of the Bard King.

+4 if your character gains any template from the act

>>16812439
Straight up charisma and diplomacy checks. Cuts down on the metagame of Bards and Beds.

Chain bonus: each time you bed a partner (1-on-1), you get +2 if you finished bedding a different partner less than 15 minutes before you start, plus the chain bonus you received for that partner. No one person can comprise more than one part of a chain.

Adds up increasingly, but you have to start and finish the act with one partner. No going willy-nilly at an orgy and trying to count a 3 digit chain bonus.

Does -2 per night sound like an appropriate reduction for bedding one person multiple nights sound about right. As in -2 the second night with them -4 the third so on and so forth. Of coarse I'm sure there would be circumstantial bonuses to it like if he/she hates you but you did it again without rape anyway, of coarse negated if they just like hatesex.

>>16812582
-5 sounds better

This is a game to be played while on an adventure, right? Just wondering for any married bards out there.

>>16811759
What if she just takes your death?

>>16812669

No points. If she fakes your death, then you're out of the game and into her apartment forever.

>>16812602
Right it would be too easy to abuse if it were less depending on other bonuses.

>>16812451
How about feats or such?
>Nymph's Kiss
>Lichloved

Isn't there a splat book out there that covers this sort of thing? That should have some more definitive rules on some of these issues. Or at least some interesting "feats" to look over.

>>16812739
Dealing with Bards specifically? Not so much, 'least not that I've found.

Bedding has the Book of Erotic Fantasy, which is about 50% stupidity and 50% viable crunch.

>>16812764
Here's a scary thought. What if, during our bardish escapades, we run across characters generated by FATAL systems? And not the pleasant ones, either.

>mfw this thread

Has this goldmine been archived yet?

>>16812764
>crunch
>spellcasters getting all their spell slots back through sex
Let us not delve into that book, shall we?

>>16812812
Well, it IS life energy... Though I could only see it working for female spellcasters.

>>16812780
>pleasant ones
They exist?

anyways:
we have +10 for nobility, but what about general fame? Like, say bedding a woman who owns a ragingly popular clothes store/stores? Or a high-ranking member of a religion?

>>16812823
I suddenly can't help but think the words
"Spell Seed"

To anyone who just read that, I'm so sorry.

+100 for banging the Lady of Pain

>>16812812
The PrC's were better than the base classes, though the Monk-ish base wasn't much worse than the normal one.

Meanwhile the voyeur PrC is a very nice set of tools for a Diviner. And who wouldn't want to spend the hour that the wizard and cleric spend prepping spells amusing themselves elsewhere for enhancement bonuses instead of worrying about gear.

>>16812313

Surely a better fix would be that, in the case of bard-on-bard action, the points are only earned by the one topping, and subtracted from the bottom's score. That way, a bard could seduce another bard for points, but both bards would be aware of the situation and probably want to avoid it in case the tables get turned on them.

>>16812928
Then you have the intricate, dangerous game of...

STEALTH
BARDING

What if you somehow manage to bed the concept of virginity itself?

Why? No reason, just curious.

sooo.... How many points has this guy gotten...?

>>16813038
All of them.

>>16813038
He's fucked GODS.
However, he has been disqualified by the High Council for having a position of legitimate authority, so the titles of BADDEST BARD and SUPREME SEXIST are still up for grabs.

>>16813044
Even the incest points?

+1 per alignment step your partner is different from you BEYOND THE FIRST. So if you're CG and you bed a LE, it's +3 points, but if you bed a CN, there's no change.

Double that if your partner is a race or specie defined strictly by its alignment, like a dragon.

so what I got:
>>a good lookin' mermaid I bedded in my time as a pirate(20+5=25)
>>an orgy with 7 whores (It was not on purpose, its a stange story) ( 5x7-7+2x7=42)
>>a beautyful blonde cleric (20+1=21)
88, god damn. dont worry, it faded everytime to black

Various fair to beatiful looking girls have my character with the highest score at 108. Not bad.

Female bard chart
+1 if he is attractive
-3 to -6 depending how unattractive they are
+1 for each 10 gold you get him to spend on you
+2 if he's a local hero
-1 if you are seduced
+1 if your doing the seducing
+2 lady on top
(feel free to contribute)

>>16812876
Are you kidding? Her SHADOW causes horrific cuts. If you can survive banging her without having important bardic-parts severed, you deserve a multiplier of 100.

>>16813351
bonuses are rather miniscule compared to the male chart

>>16813351
Sure thing

+5 for royalty
+1 for every member of his party (only if party leader)
+1 for three way with two guys (+1 more per every other guy)

>>16813470
For royalty +15 more if king
+2 for tiring him out
+1 per position change
+3 for magic user using his abilities to spice things up
-1 if cums in hair
-4 if you don't cum
+1 if good looking
+5 if studly
+10 if stunningly hot

>>16813351
+6 Biggest fan give your biggest fan a reward for his well deserved loyalty. This becomes -6 if fan is creepy or mentally handicapped in anyway.

>>16811669
>...slew a great dragon and then turned its skull into a bed.
DRAWFAGS, ASSEMBLE~

>>16813517
+1 per step away from alignment you are from guy you seduce
+3 for infernal creature
+4 for divine creature
+7 for a monk
-1 for rouge
-5 if he doesn't orgasm
+2 for non humanoid

Almost divine: 2x multiplier for demigods
Divine: 5x multiplier for gods
You gonna get mazed: 10x for any creature too powerful to be statted
Same sex penalties don't apply to any of them. It's not gay if it's a god.

There should also be some kind of proportional bonus for con checks such that anyone who survives banging a neutronium golem shoots to #1.

>>16813866
But having sex with Zeus is super easy.

>>16813632
How about paladins/barbarians?

I'm not as concerned with an archive as a compilation of all the modifiers. I need a reference sheet, gents.

So, stepsisters. -5 for relation seems to be out of the question, but with a familial connection it seems inappropriate to let it go with no penalty. -2.5 points?

Has this been archived yet?!

>>16814037
yeah, but seducing zeus, and not having him just plow you in the form of a horse or some shit is hard. it's been stated that if you are the one being bedded then you are the points, you do not get the points.

>>16812803
>>16814202
>>16814250
Yes. Check the archives.

Sorry gentlebards, I think I'll be winning this competition.

Simultaneous partners count as a cumulative +2 ( +2 for first, +4 for second, +6 for third etc), However each partner that is not satisfied counts a cumulative -3.

Better only take on what you can handle bardbros

+5 for laying 25% of the population of a town without being found out (+10 for 50%, +15 for 75%, +20 for 100%)

All bonuses are revoked if the town becomes aware of your tristes. -10 if it causes a manhunt

>>16814058
>>16814058
+2 for seducing a paladin
+1 for getting a barbarian to go beserk

>>16814729

I guess I should stipulate, the town's minimum population should be some modifier of your level, lets go with lvl * 30 or something.

Also the townsfolk can find out, but only after a period of 9 months

Every 2 days of celibacy incur a cumulative -2 to your score

>>16814776
I disagree, every month adds a cumulative -2 to your score sounds more fair.

adventurers need to do other things as well, that and you spend a good amount of time on the road.

30 points for sassy?

We will now post pictures of the lasses and /tg/ will tell us how many points they look like they would be worth.

>>16814812
>>16814818

+6 points for DELICIOUS BROWN

>>16814812
>>16814818
DBE, that's not fair

there's a reason this is the best board. Thank you for this wonderful thread that was both entertaining and which has given great inspiration for my games.

x2 Exotic You have never had sex with a woman with this race or template before.

>>16814865

x2 is a bit much, thats shits reserved for deities.

+5-10 is more appropriate

This applies to both genders

+3 for a cleric of an opposing deity
-1 if you lied about your beliefs

>>16814890
+2 for telling them afterwards if you did lie
+2 for a creature that would normally eat you
+1 for every 20 years your partner is older than you

>>16814906
>+1 for every 20 years

Hell no, that would make elves worth a billion points. You could hit every negative modifier and still come out positive, because she was old as hell.

>>16814919
>>16814919
you could cap it at +5

>>16814929

Or use some kind of racial scaling chart... No, lets not do math, just make the cap

>>16811269
OP is completely legit and...
why you revealing our secrets bro?

what would a 20-30 year old loli elf be worth?

>>16814929
That's still basically a +5 for every elf, especially for humans, and humans are already going to have ridiculous scores anyway, just by their nature. No bonus for age, only a minus for pedophilia.

rolled 49 = 49

>>16811293
>3 Ugly Undead (zombies, liches, etc.)- Innecrophilia is pretty nasty
I wouldn't want to fail that disease saving throw...

>>16811269
>-5 Rape. Remember, if she's fair or better, it's still positive points, and some of the worst bards are willing to take the penalty.
A true bard would never need to resort to rape, but I guess the rule should exist...

>>16811437
>+5 fewer legs than you. Mermaids, lamia, and similarly nontraditional anatomies require creative thinking to score with, and if bards are to be rewarded for anything, sex and creativity are it.
+20 if you are rping a female bard hooking up with a merman.

>>16814947
>>16814947
I'm not sure, for a 20 year old human, the bare minimum for the +5 bonus is a 120 year old elf or dwarf.

I'd be willing to concede that bonus

>>16814945
A visit from Chris Hansen

Here are the rules on consent...lol of course they exist

http://kismetrose.com/dnd/DMRomanceConsent.html

>>16814958
Considering the youngest adventuring elves are 114, I'm pretty damn sure they'll get that bonus every time they hook up with an elf.

>>16814872
A bard should try to expand his horizons, above all else.
And deities are a specific case, I'd give them just a +30 or +50 or so, not a multiplier. Multipliers are too good for a specific type of girl.

this guide has been around since the 90s, include sexual spells and magic items, plus much more

always makes me lol, our DM always just makes up our saving throws and rolls success rates i think for romantic encounters, i'm going to print this out next session and bring it to him

http://www.acc.umu.se/~stradh/dnd/mirror/Assorted/ADnD_netbook_of_sex.html

also, can't help but think of this amazing clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRjNl64zYxI&feature=related

+50 Deity. Good luck avoiding the repercussions.
+50 if the sex immediately results in your demise.

Bedding a bard with a higher score than you should affect your points, but it should be possible to come off worse or better.

OP's shit is poorly balanced, the physical attractiveness is a huge part, and then virginity is (by comparison) fucking chump change. I hereby move that we bump it up to +5 for a virgin, and +10 for a religious virgin. Virgins protected by their fathers or the community don't need a specifically heightened number, as that's the default assumption.

So umm. What's with all these modifiers?

>>16814980
>>16814980
I laughed my ass off at that video, a friend of mine just recently DMed her DND 3.5 group and this one girl (Gnome barbarian) had sex with a blacksmith in exchange for a mastercraft longsword.

They rolled on the performance of both parties, apparently it sucked beyond belief and he was a creepy old guy with a bad body.

cue to my monk listening to her then giving a speech loaded sex advice for the future and criticism of what the guy probably did wrong.

Same stunned reactions, pretty sure someone started taking notes XD

>>16815033
DM stopped me when I started hinting at the specifics of clitoral stimulation as foreplay.

stopped me mid hand gesture

>>16815040
lol
our resident bard always ends up sleeping with someone at the tavern
we wake up refreshed and the DM makes him do all these rolls to see if she is satisfied, he caught a disease, her looks, etc (since he has a tendency to booze hard)
he always does annoyingly well

My only real question is what sort of bonus I get for a bedding that results in a dramatic change of alignment: an escapade with a LE Drow cleric and a NG Centaur priestess was good for 70, but the Drow joined my CG bard as a cohort afterward.

>>16815071
http://kismetrose.com/dnd/DrowSensuality.html
lol

>>16815080
I don't follow links on 4chan as a personal rule, you'll have to explain that 'lol'.

I was thinking that an alignment changing bedding should just be a x2 multiplier to the bonus for bedding a character with that alignment in the first place.

So what would I get for bedding the following

14 raven hairs
5 blondes
5 red heads...

All virgins 5 beautiful the rest fair.
Inspiring a whole town into an orgy, in which everyone participated.

And then wrote a song about it.

By the way it took place in the town of Mouth of the River called Ness. Inbher Ness in Elvish.

>>16815093
I can confirm it's exactly what it says on the URL. An article on drow sensuality. Nothing you shouldn't already have an idea of from /tg/ highlights such as vaginal spider capacity and glaabrezu rape.

>>16815093
Oh np, I promise you it is nothing bad, it is what the page name says: Drow Sensuality and sex rules that go with.
I'm actually just reading it now, I just get a kick out of how many people have written rules for everything under the sun

>>16815102
With the revised virginity numbers, that's 429 total. Good job.

>>16815128
Twas not me...

That bards name is unfortunately lost to legend.

Took place in the town Kirriemuir, sorry. the lasses were from Inbher Ness.

What a ball that must have been.

>>16815159
http://www.diamondgeezers.org.uk/sounds/lyrics/theballofkerrymuir.html

>>16815159
Having been to Kirriemuir, I can tell you it's a rather sleepy little town, notjhing like you'd expect from the song. And its Inbhir Nis.

+5 Extra points for being so good that your conquests devote themselves to you completely.

So . . . How many points would Rance have in this system?

>>16815355
Disqualified by the High Council for not actually being a Bard.

+1 for inventive ways to use magic devices
+2 for elementals (3 for earth and fire)
-10 if you find yourself with mummy rot in the morning

+5 For celibate knights, paladins or monks. The more pure and innocent something is...

+7 For blackguards or evil clerics. Forces of Good - 1 : Forces of Evil - 0

rolled 1 = 1

Female's game:

"Crows Crown"

Female bards play their willy charming games on men, and keep whichever baubles/trinkets that are given to them on a hat/sash, or on something that can be displayed as well as quickly hidden.

obviously, the more stuff thats on it, the more obvious it is that men prize you and desire your company.

When the old gypsy has finally "retired" from the game, she can sell her "crown" to pay for a bit of land, or give to her son for a dowry, or perhaps she'll give a bauble to the blacksmiths apprentice who cant quite work up the courage to go talk to the young raven-haired singer that stopped at the inn for the night.

Elves get no rape-penalty. It's not rape if it's an elf.

+2 for DAT ASS

>>16816265
somehow I feel you should get an even larger bonus than jsut +4 if you manage Big breasts and Dat ass on the same girl.

>>16816656
Only if she's Fair or Beautiful; otherwise she could be kinda fat and it wouldn't be much of an accomplishment.

>>16816044
I didn't want to say it, but the idea of female bards sleeping with guys just to get stuff from them and being proud of it is kind of stupid.

As in, all kinds of stupid. Like, male bards going around sleeping with women, and getting praised for how much stuff they get from them kind of stupid.

As odd as it may sound, it's sullying the name of all bards who go around bedding women for no better reason than to sing a song about it (and getting props from other bards). The idea of "That guy you slept with spent so much money on you/gave you so many jewels/etc., you're an awesome girl" is something only the lowest kind of people would say.

Now, let's get back to congratulating each other on successfully running away from virgin milk maids we've impregnated. Any woman who runs after cows all day can give one hell of a chase!

Because of the social differences and other, biological considerations, I think Bedding should have a Women's League and a Men's League. There are too many variables between the two.

This is totally becoming a doctrine of Cayden Cailean and Calistria in my PF campaign, as a passive-aggressive pissing contest/tsundere feud they're having. The clerics/bards who rack up the most points get under-the-table rewards from the churches.

>>16819542
of course, but she'd have to be at least fair to have Dat Ass