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  • File : 1319587866.jpg-(25 KB, 290x298, themgods.jpg)
    25 KB Anonymous 10/25/11(Tue)20:11 No.16737695  
    ITT: divine interventions in your sessions

    We were planning a last stand of a battle in a temple to our party cleric's deity. The whole religion was big on "shedding your blood for the innocent" (which was something of a motto), with vows and promises usually sealed by ritual blood letting as well. The other big thing in it was having faith and trusting your god in everything.

    We prayed for support in the coming battle, and a miracle happened - the symbol of the god on the altar started bleeding, as if vowing to aid us! But the cleric went up there and touched the blood with his hand to check if it's not a trick. The god didn't like that bit. In fact, he decided to teach the cleric a lesson. He didn't strip him of his powers though. He sent his avatar to the battle, disguised as one of the enemy soldiers, went up to the cleric and ripped the offending hand right off.

    Then he revealed his true form, turned right back and smote the shit of every enemy stupid enough to try and stand his ground.

    That's how gods roll.
    >> Anonymous 10/25/11(Tue)20:19 No.16737765
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    >trying to stop BBEG from using magitek doomsday device
    >hard battle, both sides heavily wounded
    >finally BBEG gets decisive upper hand
    >nearly TPK, 4 out of 7 PCs dead
    >three survivors get a chance to flee
    >paladin does a heroic sacrifice to break device instead
    >his god impressed
    >true rezzes whole party
    >BBEG's face when
    >> Anonymous 10/25/11(Tue)20:56 No.16738056
    my first campaign ever.

    Three players. One of them (the wizard) does something stupid and gets killed session one.

    Rather than having him reroll, decide to have him be favored by a god who lets him preserve his familiar's link after death.

    Cue PC playing a spell-casting bird while having side-quests in planescape.

    Other than that, nothing besides Pun-Pun showing up as the "God of Unwillingly Preserving the Natural Order" whenever someone trys to break the game mechanics.
    >> Anonymous 10/25/11(Tue)23:14 No.16739204
    >>16737695
    CN deities, ruining your day, erryday
    >> Anonymous 10/25/11(Tue)23:34 No.16739322
    >>16737695
    doesn't even make sense, why would the avatar cut off his own cleric's hand?
    >> Anonymous 10/25/11(Tue)23:40 No.16739355
    >>16739322

    I'm guessing because he basically doubted a manifestation of his god. Essentially, he was more willing to believe that it was a trick than his gos actually deciding to aid him, which pissed his god off. Hence the hand-cutting.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)05:22 No.16741186
    >>16739355
    Depending on the setting, it was probably a trick. Who anticipates an avatar joining your skirmish?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)05:34 No.16741232
    >>16737765
    running icecrown citadel were you?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)05:42 No.16741266
    >>16737695
    I thought that god was a classy dick the last time you posted this.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)16:21 No.16745210
    What's a good system/setting for having Greek Mythology-style, very involved asshole gods?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)16:23 No.16745224
    >>16745210
    Ancient Greece.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)16:26 No.16745246
    >>16745224
    is there a campaign setting book for that?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)16:44 No.16745374
    >>16745246
    Yup.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)17:05 No.16745538
    Divine intervention is the ultimate DMPC. Especially when the Gods actually manifest and save, or attack, the PCs.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)17:11 No.16745592
    >>16745210
    Black Crusade
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)17:28 No.16745769
    >>16745538
    >Divine intervention is the ultimate DMPC.

    . . . That word . . . I don't think you understand what it means.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:14 No.16746082
    >>16745769
    The gods are controlled by the DM are they not?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:19 No.16746106
    DMPC is more accurately an NPC character who joins the party. Sometimes DMPCs aren't bad. but they get a bad rap for being 'stupidly over the top' and the focal point of the story... when a bad DM uses them.

    Having an event where a god shows up and directly intervenes with what's going on, is just pure plot. Especially if it's temporary, and does not continue to affect the PCs party for a prolonged portion of the storyline.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:19 No.16746107
         File1319667557.gif-(1.48 MB, 400x219, Stop posting.gif)
    1.48 MB
    >>16746082
    You're fucking retarded, aren't you.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:19 No.16746109
    >>16746082
    But... Do you understand what a DMPC actually entails? And that an NPC is not the same as a DMPC?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:22 No.16746133
    >Defend temple
    >See a sign from the heaves, walk over and check if it really is blood because HOLY MOTHER FUCK
    >God rips your hand off for reacting in character the way people would in life.

    It's bad enough you took the scene out of the players hands and put an epic fight as a cut scene. Why not just give them glowing holy shit equipment? Oh yeah, because "look what the god does, are you guys impressed! Describing a fight you could have been in is awesome!"

    Why not just introduce an npc that is secretly the god to protect the party? Since he loves them so much, you dumb cock.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:26 No.16746159
    >>16746133
    seeing as OP says stuff like "we prayed for support" in first person I'm pretty sure he wasn't the GM
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:28 No.16746175
    >>16746133
    >gods directly meddling in the affairs of mortals
    >being reasonable about it
    pick one
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:32 No.16746216
    >>16746107
    What is that Gif from? Jesus christ my sides ache.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:32 No.16746218
    >>16745224
    Don't do this. Every fucking session will be a railroad from hell. Only your players AND player characters will know that it's a railroad, because a prophet tells them it's a railroad. And said railroad will railroad them into fucked up situations that will require Deus Ex Machina, and there's not a fucking thing they can do about it, and all their loved ones will probably die (which means: The pool boy, or the delivery boy, or something, some boy in any case) and then they'll most likely kill themselves in a tragic fashion that will lead to even more pointless suicides.
    And if they try to work against said ending and try to leave the railroad, oh buy, they'll be fucked in the ass by a thousand flaming cocks, and then set back onto the fucking railroad.

    TL;DR: Greece Mythology is the worst campaign ever, done by the worst DM ever.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:34 No.16746227
    OP is a clever bastard.

    'Clever' meaning 'sucking a thousand cocks'.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:39 No.16746272
    >>16746218
    >PC running from BBEG
    >suddenly the rest of the party joins him
    >PC: Let's do this! FINAL CONFRONTATION!
    >GM: lol joke's on you, Athena pretended to be the party, you're still alone

    bet you $10 Hector's player ragequit that campaign
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:46 No.16746331
    >>16746272
    But not for long. I guess That Guy was the only DM in the whole area, so they kept coming back. It's the only explanation.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:52 No.16746366
    >>16746272
    But you have to admit that the Odyssey Campaign is a masterwork of trolling.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)18:55 No.16746394
    >>16746366
    >>16746331
    >>16746272
    I now have the weirdest mental image of the Greek mythology an Homer's works actually being the period version of our "That Guy" storytime threads.

    >GM forcing his fetishes again
    >female paladin raped by sea wave
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:02 No.16746443
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    >>16746394

    >Girl joins group, rolls character
    >Before she even really gets to do anything, the DM has a god come down to rape her
    >She runs to the temple of a goddess looking for help
    >Goddess does nothing while God rapes PC in the temple
    >Goddess punishes PC for defiling her temple by transforming her into a monster
    >'I told you guys I was running a dark campaign'

    Jesus christ, /tg/ I always thought your That Guys stories were full of shit, but just... Christ.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:03 No.16746452
    >>16746394
    >No, I know the rules. I don't have to re-read them. Shut up, I'm blind. No, fuck you Ikarus, I know the rules. You take 100D20 Sun Damage.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:03 No.16746455
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    >>16746394
    >female paladin raped by sea wave
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:05 No.16746470
    >>16746366
    >GM: So guys, what do you have for me?
    >Oscar: Same guy from last campaign, he got a bit lost on his way home though.
    >Thomas: And I play his son who has grown up without the father-figure and tries to keep together the household.
    >GM: Sounds cool, I got a plot hook for that. What 'bout you?
    >Anna: I'm playing this celestial shapeshifter with a special thing for Oscar's character.
    >GM: Huh, let me see those stats... uh... ok... Well, I can do this.
    >Oscar: Oh, crap, by the way, I won't be able to make it to the next week... or the coming four or so weeks either.
    >GM: Ok, but I gotta get this campaign started, I guess you are still stuck on your way home.
    >Oscar: Cool, cool.

    Couple of weeks later
    >GM: Huh, only you here, where are the others?
    >Oscar: Oh, Anna is coming by later, Thomas had to return home for some time, think his father fell ill. He said it was ok if we continued
    >GM: Well then, I guess we can do some adventures on the way home.

    Next session:
    >GM: Ok, fuck, Anna can't make it for a while either and we gotta keep an eye on this timeline so we don't speed ahead.
    >Oscar: Oh, I have an idea, how about we play flashbacks until they return?
    >GM: Whatever, it's not like this campaign is going the way I wanted it to anyway.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:06 No.16746486
    >>16746394
    >GM forcing his fetishes again

    >You get imprisoned against your will, but you can't do anything about it. There is no way out of the prison. Roll for dodge.
    >Nat 20
    >The a golden shower hits you, you are now pregnant.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:06 No.16746488
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    >>16746394
    >that feel when child molesters were LG core class
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:09 No.16746521
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    >>16746486
    >>16746470
    >>16746452
    >>16746443
    >>16746394
    keep em comin
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:11 No.16746531
    >>16746488
    The greek way of life was very different, in a modern world viewpoint (in fact most view points), it was pretty fucking terrible, and I'm glad I wasn't born there or in that era.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:11 No.16746536
    >implying the Argonauts weren't an awesome party
    >> Bi-Polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 10/26/11(Wed)19:12 No.16746541
    >>16746452
    >No, fuck you Ikarus, I know the rules. You take 100D20 Sun Damage

    10/10.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:14 No.16746566
    >>16746452
    The GM spent a lot of time designing that dungeon and the end boss, I'd be pissed too if my players derailed it by exploting non-core crafting rules.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:16 No.16746582
    >>16746536
    The usual DM dropped out after the first session, somebody else took over, and then the usual DM made a "wrap-up" session.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:17 No.16746590
    >>16746536
    props to the DM for handling that, there was 80 of them
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:17 No.16746591
    >>16746566
    Those ARE the core rules. He just used his shitty "I remember the rules, all of them, I don't have to read them. I'm blind." excuse again.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:18 No.16746599
    >>16746590
    Actually, it were just 3 and like 7 or 8 nonregulars that made new characters every. Fucking. Time.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:21 No.16746644
    >>16746521
    Aight.

    >I'm playing a female fighter, backstory is that she was left to die and became a great hunter.
    >Other PC gets the hots for her
    >Her father apparently wants her again all the sudden and tries to marry her off to whoever can beat her in a race.
    >He gets these magic items, complete bullshit, three apples that on sight caused fascination, no save at all and uses them to win the race.

    DM pushing this romance sidequest stuff on us is kinda creepy, and I want to know what book those items came out of.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:21 No.16746645
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    >>16746599
    Except Jason. He was a bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:22 No.16746660
    >Roll 20 on Craft Weaving
    >"A goddess is offended by the possibility of someone else being better than them at something and turns you into a spider."

    wat?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:23 No.16746673
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    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:29 No.16746726
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    >I'm playing a high-charisma fighter, in a game set on some weird island where the Queen is a furry
    >Apparently she fucked a bull and her offspring is in a fucked up maze, and i have to kill it
    >Whatever, i just want the XP
    >Use my charm to get some 'favours' from a local chick, and she gives me a giant ball of yarn
    >I go in, kill the furrykin and follow the yarn out
    >Go home because i have to tell my dad I'm awesome
    >GM goes "HURDURR, YOU FORGOT TO CHANGE THE SAILS, YOUR DAD COMMITTED SUICIDE LOL"
    >My fucking face
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:30 No.16746733
    >How long have we been assaulting that fucking city?
    >Let me look my in my notes... 9 or 10 years.
    >That's pretty fucking dumb. We just keep assaulting the biggest fucking fortress in the world. And where are all those troops coming from anyway?
    >How about if we used a trick? For a change?
    >GM: Roll for idea
    >But... I have an idea already!
    >GM: But your character hasn't got one.
    >But...ugh, fine. 9.
    >You don't have the idea to use a trick.
    >But... I... I... fuck this.

    Next Session
    >Here we go again... How many soldiers have we lost already?
    >I have no fucking idea. So much for your plan to pile the bodies up until they reach the top of the walls...
    >GM: You are told that a Seer asks for all heroes to come to him.
    >Not this shit again...
    >GM: You know the seer. His name is Kalchas-
    >Not that guy again...
    >GM: The seer casts his bones, stares into the fire and tells you to use cunning to conquer the city, not brown.
    >I... you... FUCK YOU!
    >So, can we NOW finally use that trick?
    >GM: Roll for idea.
    >...18.
    >GM: No.

    Later
    >GM: The goddess Athena appears in your character Epeios' dreams.
    >Not this shit gain!
    >GM: Athena tells you to build a big wooden horse to enter the city. You have to do it in three days.
    >NINE FUCKING YEARS AND NOW TIME SUDDENLY MATTERS?!
    >Calm down, it's no use...
    >That's the dumbest fucking thing I ever heard. A big, wooden horse.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:31 No.16746751
    >>16746660
    I'm gonna try to do with every D&D game from now on and DM fiat myself into a drider.

    Ohhhh mama, monstergirls.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:32 No.16746762
    >be bard in epic campaign
    >find artifact flute
    >suddenly god of music demands rock off
    >I lose by GM fiat
    >god flays me alive and nails my skin to a tree
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:39 No.16746832
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    Dont have much in the way of God stories just our DM allowing our party mates to make fuck stupid decisions.

    >Our party is in a neighboring kingdom on a diplomatic mission
    >King is constantly a douche but we try and play nice.
    >we leave and not 5 minutes later we are told that the king has launched HIS ENTIRE FUCKING NAVY OF OVER 1000 SHIPS AFTER US
    >Me & everyone: FUCKING WHY?
    >DM looks at our bard
    >We all look at our bard
    >'I..may have seduced the king's wife and got her to run away with us'

    UNIMAGINABLE RAGE.
    IC this makes sense as he was a royal brat afraid of being paired off with some ugly princess but jesus, I was this close to throwing this helen bitch overboard.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:40 No.16746836
    >>16746726
    Whatever, at least you didn't have a DMPC deity come by, drunk as hell, get the whole city drunk, and then Mind Control the female party members into killing the male ones and eating them. Fucking Bacchae.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:44 No.16746879
    >dark heresy game
    >on a planet having a political and religious upheaval, not open rebellion
    >inquisitor is a very narcassistic man, wants a less hard line group in charge of certain city state
    >working with "ferals" under deep cover, claim to be angels of the Emperor.
    >2000 mongol style horsemen on our side, moderate but brutal enforcers of Imperial Law
    >7000 to 9000 hard line ecclesiarchy fanatics, being lead by what will soon to be exposed chaos leader with "god like powers"
    >small imperial navy frigate with all sorts of bombers, flyers and laser at our disposal
    >horsemen want to ride down through a valley with the majority of the enemy guarding it
    >call in bombing runs, air strikes, orbital bombardments
    >loud speakers claiming to be avenging angels of the Emperor's true will, yadda yadda

    We are the divine intervention, order is restored after taking over holiest shrine in city state.

    Campaign was a mix of "ancient aliens" and CIA black ops in Afghanistan, took characters straight from history, no need to change them or the story at all.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:45 No.16746887
    Me: Cleric of Kelemvor with a loyalty card for Revolving Door Afterlife.

    Bro: Bard.

    We stage a dramatic escape from an Orcish fort, during which my guy takes one for the team.

    Waiting for my rez, I'm chilling out in the Crystal Spire, scrying on the party. Bard decides to regale the tavern they're in with a story of our adventures. I call people over to watch with me.

    Bro has IRL composed an epic poem of our adventures, which Bard performs.

    Suddenly, Jergal is watching with us.

    >holy crap, divine audience


    A year after the end of that campaign, we were reminiscimg about it. He mentions that the night after his performance, Jergal turned up to congratulate him with a Divine Gift
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:47 No.16746911
    >Roll up a bard playing a bit in an epic campaign
    >have character retire and marry
    >GM has my wife being molested by one of his furry "satyrs"
    >My wife falls into a nest of vipers
    >Get bitten once... in the foot... and dies.
    >Fuck this shit
    >Play music making all the gods emo
    >They help me go down to the underworld
    >Go right up to the god of death
    >Nat 20 performance
    >Get my wife back, but I can't look at her until we're out of the underworld
    >Walk back to surface no problems
    >GM: "you're back on the surface."
    >Sweet, turn around and finally look at my wife.
    >GM: LOL, only you were back on the surface, she was still in hades
    >ALL. MY. HATE.
    >My character goes all "fuck gods" (except Apollo, he's a bro)
    >Go to holy place to honor him at dawn
    >Suddenly maenads
    >kill me and rips me apart
    >Apparently the site was mainly for their god and they hated me for not respecting him any more.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:48 No.16746912
    >Play ranger
    >Go gather some food for party
    >Random encounter a goddess
    >Get turned into a stag for it and torn apart by own dogs
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:49 No.16746920
    >>16746216
    It was some anime about cats. I can't remember for the life of me, but I know it involved the words 'palace' and 'magic' in it. I think. Sage for off-topic
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)19:54 No.16746973
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    All the mythology-gametales ITT make me want to play a Ulysses 31 campaign.

    >But the ancient gods of Olympus are angry, and threaten a terrible revenge

    >You now have the theme song stuck in your head
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:02 No.16747055
    I had this one THAT GUY in a campaign.
    We were creating our characters, simple enough and when the DM came to ask us what we made, THAT GUY showed him, I couldn't facepalm hard enough. His character was the son of Zeus. Motherfucking Zeus, I mean we all know he gets around but actually making a character that has the power of the King of Gods? Worse still, he was half human meaning that he could be free and not be dicking around in Olympus all day.
    Now, I won't jump the gun of proclaiming Mary Sue just yet, but he even had a mount. A mount at level 1! It wasn't some wolf or shit, it was a fucking Winged Horse, called Pegasus (stupid name). For some fucking reason the DM allowed all of this (probably because he knew him or some such bullshit). Alright, know I knew something was up and I was definite then he was a Sue, but then I looked at his stat sheet and he had 20s in everything, and you know what his reasonings were? 'derp ima son a zeus', bullshit.
    The campaign was even worse, he always had to fuck something and always told everyone.
    He again showed his Suedome by bitchslapping every monstrosity the GM threw at him.
    I left that group after the first session and found another one. We're doing a bard campaign where we try to find a bard's dead wife in Hades, I think we'll be successful.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:03 No.16747057
    >>16746673
    God these stories are so stupid.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:03 No.16747059
    So Greek mythology is what happens when Zeus GMs?

    I can see it.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:26 No.16747263
    >>16741186

    Many classical gods required unreasonable levels of devotion.

    Case in point: Yahweh's punishment of Moses, because he created water for his people instead of relying on God.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:35 No.16747338
    >>16737695
    >>16747263
    I actually think the OP god is a pretty cool idea. An extremely self-rightous CG god who's firmly into the "scare 'em straight" approach to moral education and considers dismemberment a "tough but fair" warning.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:41 No.16747389
    >>16745466
    Assuming perfect randomness, the odds of 3 100s in a row like that is literally one in one million.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:47 No.16747443
    >>16747057
    These god stories are so stupid
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:50 No.16747474
    >>16747045
    FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN RUN BOY RUN!
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:54 No.16747526
    >>16747443
    Yes. The more you read about greek mythology the more you realise how fucked up it is.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)20:57 No.16747552
    >>16747338

    Oh, yeah, I thought it was a cool idea too. I was just explaining that it actually makes sense for a god to do that.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)21:03 No.16747605
    Alright I got one, a little back story first. The campaign took place in an evil metropolis where the king somehow had control of a large group of leshay to do his bidding with. They were basically the enforcers of the city.

    Our characters were enlisted in the city's military/police force. We were giving orders directly from a leshay to kill some noble. We get to that nobles house, go inside, cup of tea, that sort of thing. We then find out why he's wanted dead (can't remember what exactly but it was something important) and start thinking maybe we shouldn't kill him. One guy in the party though panics and bashes the noble's brains out.

    Now one of the party members was a worshiper of our campaigns chaos god. He decides to give the poor bastard a make shift funeral. So we take the noble's body outside, he lays him on the ground, pours a circle of magic powder around him and says some bullshit, made up on the spot prayer and he lights the powder on fire. (continued)
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)21:07 No.16747650
    >>16747338
    >I actually think the OP god is a pretty cool idea. An extremely self-rightous CG god who's firmly into the "scare 'em straight" approach to moral education and considers dismemberment a "tough but fair" warning.
    ...so, Yahweh but less insane?
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)21:19 No.16747803
    >>16747605
    (Continued)

    Now at this point the dm rolled out a random encounter. He rolled the dice and just smiled at the results.

    A giant pillar of fire erupts from the circle and stepping out of the pillar was none other than our god of chaos himself. Everyone in the party is speechless. Suddenly the leshay that sent us on the mission teleported to us, thinking the giant pillar of flame was us burning the nobles house down and the mission was accomplished.

    Now the god of chaos in our campaign hated anything with pointy ears, and lucky for us the leshay fit this description. He moves over to him and rips his ears right off. He then threw the leshay at the castle (we were a good 5 miles away from the castle). He threw the leshay so hard that his organs basically exploded out of his feet and his husk of a body crashed through the throne room of the castle.

    We then started talking with the god about stuff and he eventually left, giving everyone a random permanent effect.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)22:03 No.16748353
    This story happened a year or two ago so my details aren't exact
    >Make a wildly incompetent but spirited khornate cultist
    >have a full on THAT GUY slaaneshi daemonette in the party
    >Tries to seduce a squad of grey knights, knowing full well he'll fail
    >THEES EES NOT WHAT KHORNE DEESEYEERS!
    >Go berzerker all over it's shit
    >Grey knights decide that the heresy has ended, and kills me instantly
    >Well shit
    >Suddenly DM tells me to roll
    >Roll 1d100
    >4
    >Khorne is pleased by your efforts
    >suddenly ascend to daemonhood
    >slaughter everything nearby while screaming in that stupid accent
    >go back into the warp and occasionally help out my party members when shit gets bad
    >THAT GUY make another daemonette
    >Appear in front of party, behead the faggot
    >He ragequits
    And that's how Rakk the daemon prince came about.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)23:56 No.16749651
         File1319687800.jpg-(36 KB, 631x238, atfirstiwasdeadpool.jpg)
    36 KB
    >>16746832
    I lol'ed.
    >> Anonymous 10/26/11(Wed)23:57 No.16749673
    >>16747650
    Yahweh was Lawful Evil in the Old Testament and shifted to Lawful or Neutral Good around the New Testament, when the old covenants got changed or paid off because of Jeebus.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/11(Thu)00:23 No.16749958
    >Army vs Army style game, 2x larger enemy army vs smaller player-controlled army
    >Characters each control a wing of the army
    >Priest prays to the war god that they worship, as hired by the king, successfully rolls for intervention
    >Summer
    >Grasslands
    >Clouds gather and darken
    >Armies finally face off
    >lightning bolts strike multiple areas inside the enemy forces
    >winds kick up
    >grasslands ignite into flames, fanning away from us and into the opposing army
    >half the enemy army separated by wall of fire
    >slaughter the first half, including the general and their order-relays
    >remaining enemies flee, having no leader



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