>>16658369
GM: *sigh* Alright let’s continue. Jager, your character please?
Jager: I rolled up a barbarian, good at riding.
GM: Man you guys are really focusing around brute strength here.
Rogalski: Well you did tell us this game was going to be a combat heavy one.
GM. True that. Maggie, Conny, what about your sheets?
Maggie: I’m playing a wizard. I also took the large trait and one-eyed flaw.
Conny: I’m a paladin of tyranny. With levels in assassin.
GM: Uh…don’t you think that might make it a bit hard to work with the other less-evil characters?
Conny: I don’t see any problem. Oh and I took the bipolar flaw.
GM: Huh. Okay…how about you Yuri?
Yuri: I’m a cleric with the loremaster prestige class.
GM: You do know that religion doesn’t exist in this setting?
Yuri: WHAT?! BUT Y-
GM: I mentioned it ten times in that copy of the backstory I sent you.
Yuri: This is bullshit! Why didn’t you just say “no clerics or paladins” then?!
GM: Alright fine. I wanted to keep this a secret but there are ways to get faith-based powers. Saying anymore would spoil the game though. Isis, your sheet?
Isis: I’m a fighter with a level in barbarian. Also I have high charisma and wisdom.
GM: Okay. Chris, are you almost done with your sheet?
Chris: Yup. Got it all fixed up for my new class.
GM: Which is…?
Chris: Eldritch knight.

>>16658390
GM: *sigh* You know what, give me that sheet. I want to check this shit over.
>hands sheet
GM: Let’s see…levels in sorcerer and fighter, excellent combat abilities, vampi-NO CHRIS YOU CANNOT BE A FUCKING VAMPIRE!
Chris: Fine! Geez! Just scratch that shit out then!
GM: High charisma, high strength, high wisdom…where the fuck did you get all these points?
Chris: I get some extra ones by taking the mutation flaw.
Len: He has the mutation flaw? Roll for it and see what he gets!
Edgar: It hope it’s rotting flesh.
>roll d10s
Len: Awww snap! It’s a 98!
GM: Well then, let’s just see what you got…wait, wings?!
Ray: What the FUCK?! That isn’t a fucking negative effect!
Chris: Well looks like I got lucky.
Ray: That is BULLSHIT right there!
GM: Fuck it. So Chris gets wings. Let’s just keep going along.
Mann: I made an artificer. He’s got metal hands as explained in his backstory.
GM: Wait wait, you made a backstory?
Mann: …we weren’t supposed to make backstories?
GM: No! I already planned it out. Your characters are all brothers who-
John: Brothers? But my character is a girl!
Phoe: Mine too!
Chris: And mine!
GM: Well make them guys then! Alright…just how many of you made backstories?

>>16658403
Len: Uh, I did. My character was raised by wolves and vikings.
Rob: Well shit. This won’t blend well. My guy was raised in a civilized society.
Conny: My character ran around killing cri-
GM: For fuck’s sake DID NONE OF YOU READ THOSE COPIES I SENT?! Shit...alright, it’s okay, I can still make this work. Uh…your characters were all separate at birth by a storm and scattered across the lands. Okay, carry on with the sheets.
Pete: My guy’s an artificer/fighter.
Mort: I rolled up a fighter. He’s got low charisma but a high constitution and some poison/disease resistances.
GM: Again with the bloody fighters…how about you Samuel?
Samuel: My characters a fighter as well. Good at crafting shit.
GM: Very well then. Without further ado let us begin the campaign.
>ahem
GM: Your father calls you all to the Imperial Palace, where he wishes to speak to you all about the crusade…

>i'm a paladin of tyranny
>next guy says he's a cleric, gets shot down
>no faith based powers
>wat

why does this dnd game have like ten thousand people playing

>>16658444
that's what I'm wondering too lol.

>>16658434
A pure melee Paladin could get away with it no prob

>>16658444
Maybe the players are all based off real people?

>>16658434

If I remember rightly, a paladin can be a paladin of an ideal, not a religion in 3.5

>13 players
>Not end in ten of them being bored, and three people getting 95% of the attention from the GM

Why so many players? It is a clusterfuck with that many players.

Guys, have you really not realized it yet?

>>16658458
Still faith based, divine power.
If you are gonna go that route, at least spread it evenly.

>>16658470
Its 40k.
They're the primarchs.
Blood angels, space vikings, etc.

I didn't get it till the end, but when I did, I smiled.
I like it.

>>16658444
Not everyone has a group of 4 you prick

>GM: Your father calls you all to the Imperial Palace, where he wishes to speak to you all about the crusade…

>>16658486
>40k
>Female Characters
>Wat

>>16658504
>GM: Well make them guys then!

>>16658504
>GM: Well make them guys then! Alright…just how many of >you made backstories?

>>16658414
I just realized what I was reading.

Now waiting for newfags to get it. It will be a long wait.

>your characters were all separate at birth by a storm and scattered across the lands.

I see what you did there. Everyone complaining about the number of players clearly didn't

>No psionic classes
My butt.

So someone explain to me who Primarch #3 and #20 are.>>16658514

>>16658514
>2011
>Using the term "newfag"

Sanguinus confirmed for That Guy.

>>16658444
More like... FORTY THOUSAND, AMIRITE?

>>16658414

Well done, I was lost until that last line. Well played sir, well played.

This story gave me gas, I fart for you OP

I got it after Maggie, the one eyed giant wizard.

I see what you did there OP.
And I like it.

I don't get it.

>>16658527
Notice that Sanguinus was also a girl until GM FIAT

>disappointed...
>its 40k
>GM: Your father calls you all to the Imperial Palace, where he wishes to speak to you all about the crusade…

Al: Hey guys! How’s it going?
GM: Oh, hi Al! We’re just in the middle of a session here. Good to see you.
Al: That’s nice. Say, would you mind me joining?
GM: Wait what?
Al: You heard me right. Would you mind me joining? I made a sheet and everything.
Rob: Listen bud, we’ve already started our game so why don’ yo-
Isis: Oh shush Rob. I’ve played with AL before and he’s a damned good roleplayer. We should let me join, especially considering those other two chucklefucks haven’t even shown up yet.
GM: Uh yeah, sure. You can join man. Just give that sheet of yours…wait, all your levels in rogue?
Al: That’s right.
Ray: Ha! You’re gonna get slaughtered in this campaign buddy.
Al: Oh don’t count on it. I’m very good at these games.
GM: Maxed intelligence, small size, good wisdom…seems balanced enough. Alright so you see Isis’ ships coming towards-
Al: I attack them.

OP, well done.
10/10, Had me up until the third post.

>>16658645
GM: Maxed intelligence, small size, good wisdom…seems balanced enough. Alright so you see Isis’ ships coming towards-
Al: I attack them.

>>16658645

I don't know much about 40k but I like this Al guy and would like to know more.

This thread is awesome.

>>16658414
I commend you writefag, there is yet hope for your kind.

So fucking archived.

Will someone please just fucking explain this!? Call me newfag all you want, I need to know what's going on here!!

>>16658815
Its the 13 primarchs from 40k, presented as if they were characters in a role playing session.

>>16658815
They're all playing the primarchs from Warhammer 40k.

>>16658824
>>16658821

Thanks. I've never played 40k. That would explain a lot.

Chris is such a fucking bastard.

I will never look at Sanguinus the same way again.

So
>Rogalski = Dorn
>Rob = Guillman
>Len = Russ
>John = El'Jonson
>Edgar = Corax
>Chris = Sanguinus
>Maggie = Magnus
>Mann = Manus
>Mort = Mortarion
>Al = Alpharius
Still trying to find out the rest.

>>16658815
andthentheresthisfaggot.jpg

>>16658918
Jagar is obviously the Khan.

Think Ray might be Angron. Barb/Fighter sounds about right and he gets pissed when Chris rolls wings for his mutation.

And taking a guess at Yuri as Lorgar what with all the god bothering.

Screen Capped

And Pete is Perturabo with connie as Nighthaunt. Would say Phoe is Fulgrim what with the genderbending and high cha.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16658369/
Archived for great justice.

>john -lion el johnson
>rogalski-rogal dorn
>rob-roboute gulliman(orwhatever)
>ray- Angron? Angron->Angry->ray ?
>Len Lemann Russ
>Phoe Fulgrim
>Edgar Corvax (Edgar alan poe->Raven->Corvax)
>Chris Sanguinis
>Jager Jaghati Khan
>Maggie Magnus
>Conny Conrad Kurze
>Yuri Lorgar but i didn't get it from the name
>Isis Horus
>Mann Ferus Manus
>Mort Mortarion
>Samuel Salamanders>Vulkan i guess
>Pete Perturabo
>Al Alpharius

Oh shit and Isis is Horus. Fuck that one was obovious.

>those other two faggots never showed up

>>16659052

Their Druid/Planar shepherd and Abjurer/Master Specialist/Initiate of the Sevenfold Veils were just too awesome to be diluted in a campaign with so many other players.

So, Phoe/Fulgrim, Chris/Sanguinus and John who is... fuck, I'm guessing as Rogal Dorn, were meant to be girls.

>>16659035
Oh, right. The Lion. Makes a bit more sense, I suppose.

We're missing the Blood Magpies. Kinda a combat rogue/fighter with many Sleight of Hand (and feats for that) ranks, as Bluff.

>>16659197
Weren't the Magpies a secondary Founding?

>>16659197
They have a missing primarch, so one of the people who never showed up was going to play a rogue?

>>16659264
>>16659263
Nothing is confirmed about the Blood Ravens.
>comebeo fact
Come at me bro, that's a fact.

>>16659264
>>16659263
>>16659197
Blud Rehven player got banned from the house after taking all the chips and mountain dew.

Blood Ravens are a second founding from noncursed Thousand Sons.

>>16658414
>For fuck’s sake DID NONE OF YOU READ THOSE COPIES I SENT?! Shit...alright, it’s okay, I can still make this work. Uh…your characters were all separate at birth by a storm and scattered across the lands. Okay, carry on with the sheets.

I'm surprised it took me until this for me to catch on.

>>16659376

They were a gift, damnit.

so we got players, but what would they use as minis?

imo this is Manny's mini

Screencap'd

>>16658369
>im playing a ninja
>YOU FUCKER WHY
>because its a class
>ok, but only because you never did anything wrong while playing it
>you never did anything wrong
>I still flip my shit because of a classname

that GM is a terrible dick that should choke on a million cocks

although I understand him banning psyonics, he is still a fucking neckbeard for raging about classnames, claiming that players build their characters wrong (marshal is a terrible class, why the hell would you want to do that) and on the other hand insulting their players instead of just letting them down (why? because you are a powergaming little shit, now suck you cock you analloving cumgurgler)
and banning very much important parts (NO CLERICS, BECAUSE 90% OF YOU PLAY CLOSE RANGE FIGHTER AND WILL DIE LIKE THE BITCHES THEY ARE BECAUSE NO HEAL, NO HEALTH POTIONS (you need the cast cure wounds for those) AND OF COURSE NO WANDS. GET INTO ONE BATTLE AND THEN WAIT FOR A WEEK TO REGENERATE OR DIE)
Oh, and the backstory thing.
NO YOU DONT MAKE BACKSTORIES, YOU BETTER NOT MAKE CHARACTERS AT ALL, HERE TAKE MY AWESOME PREWRITTEN BACKSTORY TO APPLY TO ALL OF YOU SO MY RAILROADING WILL BLEND

honestly, there is no way that GM isnt going to loose it within 20 minutes with that many players, and his awesome story about brothers will be messed up within three combats tops without any healer and enough monsters to actually make the fights challenging

>>16664358
0/10

>>16664358
the joke
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your head

>>16664358
Yeah, my guess is that one will get tired of this shit and take about half the party with him when he goes off wrecking the storyline.

>>16658671
Why is he wearing that humongous cloak? It's not like he can catch a cold. He's just begging to lose his footing and get blown away.

>>16658486
I suspected about the point where the gm raged about no religion in his campaign, and the one eyed wizard.

So presumably the Heresy ended up with everyone getting fed up with the GM's bullshit and all 20 of them piling on his super duper mary sue at once.

Primarchs and Phoenix Lords anyone?

calling for moar sweet action