At an Imperial Guard training camp.

By teaching the guard actual tactics and strategy.

Seriously, even a basic course should include better tactics then what they use.

I guess I'd like to end up in Tau territory, they'd hopefully give me a chance to speak. I'd pull off some bull shit about me traversing the galaxy and offer the Etherals a detailed written account on shit like the warp, chaos space marines, necrons, tyranids and the Emperor.

Who am I kidding, I'd panic and be unable to believe the situation I'd be in.

>>16402183
>>16402162

People, I doubt the factions of 40k will let you swagger up to them and tell them how to do shit.

>>16402162
you are a moron

BTW, Agriworld, mid-tech development and little contact with imperium, save for our planetary governor residing in the capital city.
Never seen or heard about the things in wider galaxy, just carrying on with simple, civilized lifew until end of my days.

>>16402162
"Sir, I have compilled a list of faults and errors in our training, equipment and strategy"

*BLAM*

Before the golden throne. Expose my testicles to the Emperor. Get decapitated by Custode's. A good death

Join the guard,
Probably die but at least get to shoot a laser gun first.

I'd like to end up at that Forgeworld that specialises in plasma weapons. Join the Mechanicus and work out more effecient heat sinks for them.

rolled 94 = 94

In middle-terra with the space hobbits

>>16402162
>>16402197
>>16402232
Could work if he joins the PDF on a planet where they know they're sub par, and works his way into a position where he can give tacticool advice. In the IG he's likely going to need to get shot at first, and work his way up unless he's enlisted somewhere where there's a tactics test for potential officers. But in most places, if he follows orders (mostly) and keeps doing well because he has tactical genius, then he could work his way up.

But guy, don't forget that what makes sense when you're fighting humans don't necessarily work against fungus-warriors who are born knowing how to maintain their crude weaponry, and eight-foot supermen who spit acid and have armour so tough that anti-vehicle rounds are required to negate it.

Your intimate knowledge of Chaos instantly corrupts you. Roll on you willpower, if you succeed you are offered a position as a Chaos Sorcerer, if you fail Spawn time.

Journal Entry: September 24, 40,000(?)
End up in the middle of battle between Imperial Guards and Tau for a Forge World. Hit the ground and crawl towards the Imperial trenches. Try to explain what is going on, but fail due to not knowing Low Gothic, and them not knowing English.

Get taken to Commissar. Babble more in English. Get one or two words across. Not blammed for some reason. Given lasgun and helmet and dragged to the front/

Journal Entry: September 30(?) 40,000(?)
Spent next few days shooting at Tau and ducking. Commissar still hasn't shot me. Still haven't gotten Flak Armor. Learned a few words of High Gothic. Taught a few words of English.
Managed to explain that I am from 21st century America.
Not sure if I am believed, but the local Adeptus Mechanicus think it is possible. Probably what has kept me from getting shot by the Commissar. Have managed to aquire lighter Lascarbine.

Journal Entry: October(?) 40,000(?)
Have managed to learn enough Gothic to hold a small conversation and get across important information. Got ahold of some flak armor and corporals stripes when a Tau sniper took out the squad's corporal. Have been given field promotion for not dying. Given up on seeing home. Now just want to survive this planet. Word is that we may be getting reinforcements.

>>16405552
moar?

maybe in a system influenced by a first founding Chapter like Ultramar (since they tend not to be as GRIMDARK)

or at least a noblemen, this way I can either be influential, and if not, at least be safe

Much like a true zombie apocalypse I assume something would bite me and I'd die horribly rather quickly.

>>16405906
Journal Entry: Mid-October(?) 40,000(?)
Ran across the remains of a scout squad while on patrol today. Scavanged a few supplies from them. Found a working Camo Cloak. Managed to pick up a bayonet and gasmask, too. Sgt. Karls found their Vox-Box. A little beaten around the edges but still in working order. They even had an Uplifting Primer that wasn't too bloodsoaked to read.

Journal Entry: Beginning of November(?) 40,000(?)
Been here for a month now I'd guess. I can hold a decent conversation now. Amazing what you'll learn when you need to. After finding that scout squad, our's has been assigned to replace them on long-patrol. We're not scouts, but this is the Imperial Guard. Make do with what you've got and send in more men if it's a problem. It's not too bad on patrol all things considered. I've got the cloak, so I get point often, though.

Journal Entry: November (?) 40,000(?)
Had a run in with a Tau scout today while on point. Turned around a corner and there he was. He was slow on the draw. I got two shots off before pulling my bayonet out. He managed to fire once, but it went wild. I don't think he'd ever been face to face with an enemy before. Needless to say, since I'm still here, he's not. I stabbed him in the gut, inbetween a couple of ribs where there was no armor plate... Tau really do bleed blue.

The Eye of Terror

I would pledge my loyalty to the Ruinous Powers. Perhaps I could mutate into a space marine.

pleasure planet filled with sex crazed amazonians.

>Find Ministorum
>LET ME PREACH HIS NAME
>become missionary
>piss about the universe converting death world inhabitants to the Imperial Cult
>get eaten by Orks

And it was a good life.

prolly would end up getting blammed or working for the mechanus for hasing the touch of the omnissah

I'd go all out, send me to Cadia during the black crusade, I dont give a FUCK.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE........
.
.
.
.
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

>>16406649

BRRRRROOOOOOOOTHER! I SHALL STAND WITH YOU ELBOW DEEP IN BLOOD!

In the grim darkness of the far future if you're concerned about how you'd survive than you're doing it wrong.

>>16402139
I'd eather move to an imperial world, death world or hive world... i like hive worlds... all the bad things fall down, and all the good ones raise up. I guess i'd start my own newspaper or vox show.

I may discuss facts that some call heresy, such as the rise of insanity in the eccleasiarchy. But i belive in the emperors light and avoid chaos like the plague. Allthough most likly even pronouncing the name attracts evil spirits. I guess i'd encourage stoicism or faith as the emotions which cannot be turned against us by chaos.

I guess i might try to design autoguns aswell, i may be able to make a good one with their knowledge. I'd also be able to make better armour and tanks for that matter. I'd also focus on domestic appliances. So i guess this means i'd join a good weapons guild.

Start seeking ascension to demonhood immediately. Pall around with DOOOOOOOOOOOOM RIIIIIIIDER!

Into a shower room of a sororitas garrison.

Trying to survive in the grim darkness of future is futile, so at least I'll die satisfied.

Alternatively, right in front of the Golden Throne.
Then I'd proceed to spout heresy until the Custodes remove me.
Hopefully that'll make them get off their asses and go do something about the shitfest that the Imperium has become.

>>16406784
By 'remove' you mean 'murder, clone, then murder the clones at hundreds of different venues to demonstrate the punishment for such heretical acts', yes?

sit in front of the laptop
suddenly see a bright light.
be confused.
rocks, rocks all arround me
look down on myself
be green
have been mindswapped with ork
fun was had

and somewhere at home my body is gnawing on the bones of my roommate

Ultramar

>no active warfare going on nearby
>massive military/industrial resources
>quality of life waay up from other parts in the Imperium
>still working for humanity

speaks for itself, really

You know what?

I think I'm just gonna sit on a big ole egg.

I'm keeping this audio log, to keep me sane in this world I've ended up in. Though I have no idea how I was on Earth at one point and now... here. I have no idea what the date or time is.

I ended up with some sort of army that doesn't speak english, they refer to me as "chevek". From the way they say it, it possibly means outsider and or some sort of insult.

These soldiers look like nothing like the soldiers back home ( United States of America). They are extremely careful about maintaining and even protecting their weapons. In fact I think ( key word here is think), that these weapons are passed down from father to son, judgeing by this very long piece of paper with a list of names (?) I think. Another observation I noticed is that some have put axes on their rifles. Fucking hardcore shit right there. On and more thing, this world I'm on is fucking cold but these guys seem to be in their element.

END OF AUDIO LOG 1

>teleport into the throne room
>toss the emperor's corpse into the depths
>take seat and start yawning
>custodes finally turn around and see their Emperor waking up from a long nap and completely rejuvenated
>lift ban on rapid advancement on behalf of the admech with plenty of oversight
>strike peace with the Eldar and barter for the sekrets of the webway
>make topless power armor mandatory for all SoB with purity seal teasers

And that is how I will save mankind

>>16402183
Do this.

And if not, then go talk to some Ultramarines or something. Tell them all the shit I know about the Great Crusade and Old Terra and the Empra and all that. I honestly don't know what would happen to me after I told them all this.

>>16406862
Yeah I think they would know the difference between you and the emperor.

Even in his current state.

And you don't think people have tried to teleport in? You're getting loaded up with bolter shots, bud.

Not gonna be the emperor. Not gonna be anything but dead.

>>16406832

Smurf-hate aside, I think living in Ultramar would be remarkably like living in the Starship Troopers universe: highly advanced, highly militaristic, us-or-them HFY style.

>>16406875
It is a well known fact that Custodes NEVER turn around. My act of mercy will go unnoticed until I slink into his nasty soiled old panties and take my position.

Why do I look like a shaggy 20-something? I'm the Emperor, I don't have to explain shit.

>>16406862
I think the Custodes will know that you are not the guy they've been guarding for ten millenia.

>>16406892
EMPEROR
NOT
EXPLAINING
SHIT

What is more likely? That their God-king finally woke up and choose a young virile new form to take and has intimenant knowledge of the workings of the Imperium.

OR

Magik teleporter fuckery and I murdered and hid the body of the guy they were protecting for the past 10k years?

If nothing else they would accept me so they wouldn't have to explain to their brothers how immensely they fucked up.

>>16406927
Why would he choose to be a mere human?

>>16406943
I
AM
THE
FUCKING
GOD
EMPEROR
OF
ALL
YOUR
FUCKING
SHIT
OF
FORVER
THAT
WAS
AND
WILL
BE
DO
NOT
QUESTION
ME
YOU
ASS
CUNTS!

>>16402162
I bet you're the same sort of person who thinks that modern day Earth could hold off all of the Imperium assaulting it.

>>16406927
>>16406950
But thats completely stupid. They would hear your god damn heartbeat before you even took your first step.

Shit son, its too late now. You fucked up. You might as well teleported into a Tyranid swarm, since you're going to die horribly now because of your terrible ideas.

>>16406964
That's called overkill

AUDIO LOG 2

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm scared, I pissing myself, literally pissing myself. I was being interrogated by what I think was a officer in a tent ( we didn't get very far as he doesn't speak English and I don't speak whatever the hell he did), when we suddenly heard this yelling, screaming and gunfire outside.

When we emerged, I saw... I saw these things strange tall, thin warriors wearing dark segmented plates, held in place by barbs ( I think?) and they were making utter mincemeat of the men. They fought with a fuck load of valour but the tall thin warriors just moved through them as if they were paper. I think they were cackling with laughter but I couldn't here properly, I was running at this point.

And now I'm, hiding in my urine stained paints behind a tank clutching one what I hope to be a pistol of a now dead soldier.

I'm gonna try and look up, to see if its safe.

... the fuck are they doing over there? Are they loading the dead into some transport... no they arent dead, their twitching and writing in agony. I can see it on their faces and- WAIT- fuck, gotta keep my voice down-, one isn't wearing a helmet... is that a god damned elf?

Not safe here, gotta move into the forest.

END OF AUDIO LOG 2

>>16406974
Getting shot to death and maybe possibly imprisoned and inquisited might be better than a tyranid related death.

ooh ooh, acid...burn, ooh.

>>16406974
Even if they chose to ignore him in the meantime, he'll get fried the moment he decides to touch the Emprah himself.

That rotting sack of shit is not keeping the Astronomicon functioning on cereal alone, you bumblefuck.

>>16407013
>>16406987
>>16406943
THAT IS IT

I CHANGE MY DESTINATION

HIVE MIND HQ

OFFER MY DELICIOUS BRAIN MATTER TO THE SWARM

THEY NOW KNOW THE LOCATION OF TERRA

GAME FUCKING OVER

HAPPY NOW FUCKER?

IF I CAN'T BE THE EMPEROR NO ONE CAN!

>>16407076
Thats nice and all, except the hive mind already knows about the skinny on Terra. Its that giant glowing aura they've been slowly drawn to.
But hey, if you still want to die horribly by another idea, then thats your choice brotha.

>>16407114
Well technically they have been drawn to it like a capertiller to a match. I doubt they understand the significance of it however.

If the Hive Mind knew that if they simple eradicate this planet it will cripple the Imperiums ability to travel. Ends 97% of all logistical and strategic command, and kills off Man-kind's God. Whom once they discovery the truth will commit suicide in droves across teh stars and make noming the entire galaxy easy as a drunken goat.

>>16407170
>Whom once they discovery the truth

Orks.

If I'm to die a brutal horrific death, I may as well have the time of my life doing it.

>>16407170
>Kill of mankinds god

Not necessarily

>>16407170

So you're saying every imperial they've devoured before you has had no idea where or what Terra is?

You didn't really think this through did you?

>>16407170
>kill of imperium
>think that the galaxy collapses and becomes easy to conquer
>totally disregard Orks, Chaos, Dark Eldar, Eldar, Necrons and Tau.
The imperium don't rule the galaxy dude.

>>16407321
In all fairness, the only two factions there that could really give the Tyranids a run for their money are Necrons and Orks. Chaos is too fractured and disorganised, while the Tau and both flavours of Eldar don't really have the numbers.

>>16407321
>Implying the Imperium isn't one of the largest obstacles in the fleet's way and hasn't destory more tendrils then any other race

I'm sure the Orkz and Chaos would sit down and come up with a brilliant plan to counter the 'Nids on a galaxy wide front. Face it, this is the Imperium's world. The rest of the races just happen to be in it.

>>16406549
>pleasure planet filled with sex crazed amazonians.

DEATH BY SNU SNU

Holy Terra.
Thats pretty much the only place in the whole galaxy where I don't risk to become the meal of some chaos demon, ork, tyranid or other lovely creature.

If my goal is survival, then i would like to be transported in the only half-decent society out there - let's get in a Tau capital city. At least its unlikely i would be shot on the spot
Then i would gladly offer my knowledge (limited compared to them), labor skills and intellect to the first tau willing to feed me and shelter me from harm.

If i want to go out in a blaze of glory:
I'll just ask to appear in the middle of the female sauna of a sororitas barrack. MY BODY ISN'T READY!

I think the safest place you could end up in, in this scenario is an uninhabited Eldar Maiden World. They're described as veritable gardens of Eden and as long as the Imperium doesn't stumble across it and tries to colonise the place the Craftworld Eldar won't have much reason to mount an "expell all humans" campaign. After all, a lone human with no ties to the Imperium is unlikely to to have any significant impact on the planet, if they even notice you're there at all.

So yeah, I'll take a one-way ticket to a Maiden World and live the rest of my life Robinson Crusoe style on a verdant paradise planet.

>>16406943

well you could reincarnate in a mere human, then augment him/implant space marine geneseed

>>16407440
>After the Fall, the Eldar began to settle the verdant worlds they created, sometimes finding their worlds already inhabited by other races. The "invaders" are given the choice of leaving or being exterminated. Even in cases where the colonists are feral savages with no means of leaving the planet, the Eldar have mercilessly followed through with the threat of extermination.

Chance is maybe low that they would come to "your" world, but if you are there when they arrive, prepare for pain.

>>16407358
It's da Orkses 'ooniverse. Da 'umiez just live on a big chunk ov it.

>>16407652
The universe belongs to THE IMPERIUM

>>16407617
But all you are doing is quite literally chillen. You aren't really doing anything. Can't you just cut a deal with them?

>>16409679
Ha ha ha
No.

Find me a bit of space far enough away from any faction.
That's how I'll survive.
That's the only way TO survive.
praying that nobody finds you.

paint myself green, join the WAAAGH they won't even notice

teleport to papa nurgle

become immortal

A Tzeench's throne. Just as planned.

teleport in to void dragons cave, give him a good boot on the nose, I die, the plot progress

I'd instantly give myself to Papa Nurgle and enjoy greatness.

End up in an eldar city, have no idea what's going on, last for five seconds before they realize i'm not an elf. It was a good five seconds, but five seconds, nonetheless.

Journal Entry: Mid-November(?) 40,000(?)
I think it may be my birthday. I haven't really kept an exact count of how long I've been here, but it's been at least a month now. Out on patrol again. The Tau have been stepping up their attacks lately. Why they want a forgeworld so bad, I don't know. I don't care. I just do what I have to. Those reinforcements I mentioned finally arrived. Not sure where they're from, but glad to see them anyways. If this weren't a Forgeworld, chances are they wouldn't have been sent to reinforce it, from what I hear.

Journal Entry: Mid-November(?) 40,000(?)
Lost two members of our squad today. They got hit during a firefight with Tau soldiers. I got lucky and found some cover behind a wall. Took down at least one Tau. A Leman Russ showed up and took out the rest of them. Nasty thing that tank. It opened up and there was nothing but greasy blue smears left. Nothing exciting happened after that. We went back to base, picked up some more rations and equipment. I recieved a couple of frag grnades and a pair of snare mines. Also picked up a 9-70 entrenching tool, and some medical supplies.

>>16411397
(Continuation of Previous post)
Journal Entry: Late-November(?) 40,000(?)
Saw something odd on patrol today. There was a small group of humans wearing Tau equipment moving along one of the main streets. Sgt. Karls told me about them some. Traitors to the Imperium who now work for the Tau. He relayed their position over the Vox. Orders were to set up an ambush towards the plaza at the end of the street. I'd never killed another human before... We dug in at some burnt out buildings to the either side of the street. Sgt. Karls with three of the remaining guardsmen and myself along with two others on the far side. I planted my snare mines angled down the street on both sides. We waited until they were right in the middle of our sights and opened up. Between us and the mines, we shredded them to pieces. I don't remember if I hesitated or not. I just remember that it was odd seeing red blood at the end of my gunsights.

I think suddenly being teleported to 40k would drive me insane anyhow. So might as well lose my sanity altogether and....

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

I'd like to end up somewhere next to a Metal Extractor I just built.

>>16407617

Just be strong enough, and you will kill the Eldar.

There's a story in the current Ork codex about a warboss who settled on Maiden Worlds. Biel-tan Swordwind came to kill them, but the Orks killed the Eldar force instead, destroyed the ecosystem of the maiden worlds, and enslaved the indigenous Eldar population.

>>16411525
>Implying one person more ill equipped than your average Guardsman could muster up strength anywhere near a friggen Warboss and his warband.

>>16405552
>>16406525
>>16406844
>>16406977
>>16411397
>>16411408
These are epic and inspiring! I wouldn't mind reading a book comprised like this. Kind of like "Out of the Dust" only interesting.

I'll be running screaming for the nearest Tau settlement- but that's just a hope. Chances are I'll be dead before I even get a chance to go insane over the situation.

An Imperial pleasure world, deep in Imperium territory. Chilling on a nice, sunny, grassy holiday planet, relaxing and working at a resort for nobles for my thrones.

>>16412161
Scrolling quickly down the page I thought that was a thumbnail of Marge Simpson...

In the Blood Raven's Battle Barge. They seem somewhat reasonable compared to the rest of the universe.

I'd be a road traider, calmly exploring the vast segmentum solar, until I encounter the orcs. Then I lead a boarding party and assault them with our phazers.

I'm a soldier in the British army and i struggle with civvie life as is...so ill probably enlist with the PDF and try and get into the IG next tithe...i don't want to have to live out some shitty life. I love to fight ill be honest..might as well do it for something 100% genuine...the emprah is good for something after all

Journal Entry: Early December(?) 40,000(?)
Sometimes, I'm glad we got sent on scout duty. Sure, it's dangerous but I don't have the Commisar breathing down my neck all the time, like the men in the lines. And, sometimes, it's moments like last night that make it worth it.
We'd hunkered down up in a fairly stable building, to rest for a couple of hours. I'm on first watch, and it's almost unbelievable, but one of those floating troop carriers of theirs pulled right next to the building. I'm looking down from a second story window at them wondering if they're going to start shooting. Seemed they hadn't noticed us, and while they were disembarking, I alerted the rest of the squad. It's when two of them started arguing and pointing around that I started to think something was off. Then one of them pulled out a display and started pointing at it too. I realized what was going on. They were lost. These blue aliens, with their hover craft and high tech gear, were lost. I had to stifle some laughter right then.
More importantly, they'd left the hatch open to their transport. I asked for a couple of frag grenades, and when I got them, I took aim at that hatch and quietly tossed them in. They didn't know what hit them. The thing slammed into the ground, the hatch was billowing smoke, and we finished off the ones still left standing.

Where would I like to end up and how would I survive....

Anywhere, and I wouldn't.


More likely, I'd end up in the Black Library and spend a long life sweeping corridors with a push broom, and flipping through books I can't understand, blissfully guarded from horror by my own stupidity.

>>16413607
Mon-keigh in the black library? Alive? Even 300 light years near the thing? Nope, you'd have better luck trying to live a peaceful life shoveling after squigs the rest of your life. (It will probably be a short one)

WHERE DO I SIGN UP FOR THE SLAANESH RAPE TRAIN

FIRST CLASS TICKET PLEASE

I would strike out to find an Inquisition operative and tell them EVERYTHING I knew about 40k, including everything about myself and how I acquired my knowledge of 40k.

I know how stupid this sounds, but as long as even a bit of it gets cataloged before I'd be put to death I imagine it would have a HUGE amount of benefit for whomever reads it.

>>16415994
This, but I'd try and find a radical. They'd be less likely to kill me for knowing all kinds of shit about daemons and xenos. I may try and writefag something about this in a bit.

>>16416467
Emperor preserve me, I think that's the last time I try to help a friend.

Dated: Check 6 563 993.M41

I was somewhere down on Nolita when it happened. SHE, happened, I should say. I was tired enough from preventing another Bloodtide incident, so when the servant told me "The Most Regal Inquisitor Helgha Tama of the Ordo Chronos" managed to talk her way onboard, I nearly killed him.

Looking back, I probably should've.

Tama, in her usual round-about manner, expressed to me her great love and passion for me. After I threatened to convince some Sisters that she'd been tainted by all that war-devilry, Hel finally opened up properly.

She told me (again, in her round-about manner) that there was a prisoner on her shuttle (still docked to the Recurring Judgement), who she had found on an assignment about two hundred centuries back. The prisoner had somehow managed to join a regiment of Guardsmen fighting Tau, and was apparently quite creative.

He also spoke no Gothic when he was found, and claimed to be from the 21st Century.

>>16416739
[entry continued on new audio file]

Hel says she doesn't know how much time passed between the prisoner's "arrival" and her finding him. She does know that he has an intimate knowledge of how the Imperium works, it's history and enemies, and much other lore, both common and arcane. Which is the exact reason she can't keep him. Things within the Ordo Chronos have been particularly hostile towards anything that doesn't involve shooting out-of-time artifacts. And I'm fairly sure a person counts as far more than an artifact. So she figured (in her infinite wisdom) that the poor man would be better off on the Recurring Judgement, with a "nice, reasonable xeno-hunter". I almost slapped her face, but I settled for my own. I had the prisoner transfered to my own ship, and Tama and I headed to her personal quarters to discuss more personal matters.

(next post is concentrating more on the prisoner, after I will stop if asked to, and keep going if moar is desired)

Find a black man

>>16416861
Bentacore

>>16416846
The things I do for the Emperor...

Dated: Check 6 565 993.M41

Finally got back from Tama's ship. Had a quick shower, supervised warp-entry, and then I got to the holding cells. The Prisoner looks far better than I had hoped. He had something to eat before I arrived, and was talking to the guard when I arrived. I dismissed her and entered the cell. What followed was the strangest conversation of my life.

Tama was right. He knows far more about the Imperium than he should. His knowledge base goes back to the Horus Heresy, and extends to about standard seven years from now. He told me that tyranid incursions will increase greatly for the rest of the millennium, and reaching fever pitch with "Hive Fleet Leviathan" attacking Gryphone IV. Also of note was his knowledge of Tau activity. He told me that the Tau cannot be trusted in the Zeist sector, particularly in 999.

Most disturbing, however, was the information he gave me on the Thirteenth Black Crusade. In seven years, the Despoiler will try to take Cadia. According to the Prisoner, we have to allow him to take the orbital at all costs and instead hold the mainlands, for underneath Cadian ground lies a great Warp Artifact that will give him power unlike any other. I sent all of the information to the proper authorities, trusted men who wouldn't question it's source.

But the information about Cadia just seems... wrong. Allowing Abbadon to take the orbitals seems like a bad idea, no matter how great the artifact is.

on mars, go to the admech tell them when i come from and that i have knowledge of science and teach those fuckers about basic principles and engineering while learning about what they have on had and teaching them how to remassproduce it and make shit work. also how to make fun things like good jets and clusterbombs and fucking landmines for everyone, then if i am smart and survive long enough talk to the head honcho and get him to put me through to the highlords and help those sorry fuckers fix the cocked up system they use now, all the while being as devout as i can so i dont get blammed or nommed by chaos

Journal Entry: Decemember(?) 40,000(?)
After my last patrol, the squad was called back to HeadQuarters, immediately. Upon arrival we were told to wait outside of the main Command building. Eventually, after sitting for what felt like ages, a Commissar came out and dismmissed the rest of the squad. I was told to bring my gear and follow him inside. What followed was probably the second strangest moment of my life. I was presented to "The Most Regal Inquisitor Helgha Tama of the Ordo Chronos". The Commissar who escorted me in was dismissed, at which point I was starting to get nervous. I knew that Ordo Chronos meant something to with time, and I could guess why she was here. I was going to be interrogated and probably executed, I thought. And I'd left my lascarbine at the door, not that it would've done me much good.

>>16417070
I don't trust him any further than I can throw him... even with my augmented biceps.

Dated: Check 6 567 993.M41

Nothing of note today, at least in reference to the cleansing of Contact activity in the Sector. In reference to the Prisoner, two things happened.

First, I finally had Wendi up here to interrogate the Prisoner. And she wasn't able to. She isn't the best psyker in the galaxy, but I trust this girl to do her job. When she told me that she just couldn't get through to him, I got worried. Wendi wasn't foaming at the mouth, so I couldn't believe the prisoner was a blank. She just told me that there was an "aura of boring" about him, and that her mind just couldn't bear to pierce him. I spoke to an old friend with the Astra Telepathica, and it seems to be consistent with the Prisoner's claim of being from the M3. People weren't psychically active back then, so it would take some time to be able to crack this kava nut.

Second, I gave that information some thought. I contacted a few other experts on the xeno threats described, and they checked out. But giving Abbadon the orbitals? It would take one warp of an artifact to be worth that much... and even so, I doubt that the Black Warmaster would be so easily fooled. I gave bridge the order to head to Cadia. A few people were thrown off, but I'm more than sure Vail and Korvie can hold of Contact for the rest of the campaign...

Other than that, everything is going well. The Prisoner and his guard are getting rather close. Ah well. He should at least have some measure of comfort in this "grimdark universe" as he called it...

>>16417345
Well, shit son. That kinda derails what I had in mind.
You don't mind falling to Slaannesh, do you? If you do, than there's all sorts of ways I can end this.

>>16417345
Not to worry. That's only part one.

Journal Entry Part Two: December(?) 40,000(?)
What happened next... it just kept getting stranger. I was told that I would be coming with her to a vessel under her command, and that I would tell her everything I knew. With that out of the way, I was almost dragged out of there. I did manage to grab ahold of my lascarbine on the way out, but her guards confiscated that. I was taken aboard the Inquisitor's personal landing craft and up to the vessel waiting in orbit. So far, I had not been treated harshly, or threatened, but I was still worried. No weapons, no squad mates to help, and no bearings. After being brought up to the ship, I was escorted to a room and told to stay in it until summoned. To make sure of this, they had a guard posted outside of my door. What was probably a few hours later, The Inquisitor stepped in. She wanted to know how I was found, what I knew. All of it.
And I told her. I told her how I'd been relaxing one day, fell asleep at one point and woke up in the middle of a battle. I knew a little about the 40,000 millenium, enough to recogonize the two sides, and a little more. And then, then everything faded away. I could still hear my voice, I could hear myself talking, but I couldn't understand the words. This went on for some time, and then it stopped. But the expression on her face... that worried me much more than anything up until then. It was a mixture of grim determination and a slight hint of fear.
I was left alone after that. I'm glad I still write in English. I'm not sure if I want them to know that wasn't myself doing the talking all the way. Now, I think I'm going to rest. It's been a long day, and longer still since I slept in a bed.

Just a note, I've archived the story up to current on my comptuter. I'm also heading to bed myself, since it's a little past two in the morning.

>>16417672
Only a few posts left. I'll archive this tonight and bump tomorrow.

>>16417491
>>16417355
If it weren't for all the trouble she gives me, I might just love her...

Dated: Check 6 567 993.M41

Helgha contacted me a while ago. It was a secure line. She wouldn't explain why she was only telling me this now, but said it had somethng to do with warp currents being favorable...

When she first interrogated the prisoner, she was wearing that Gell-Rosarius I gave when she joined the Ordo. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on this particular archive, but it''s a small device, blessed by the Ecclesiarchy and capable of producing a small anti-possession field. Sadly (and here's where it get's worrisome) it has a habit of failing when going into the warp. Sometime during the interrogation, they made a warp-jump. And the prisoner... changed...

What before was just lose details (Tau here, there's more Tyranids than you think, etc.) became specific outlines of events in the near future. His eyes somehow turned a brighter shade of black (whatever that means) and his hair looked staticy, despite being in the only rubber-lined room onboard. Not only that, but apparently, the entirety of the intelligence of Cadia came at this time.

I asked to meet with her in person, but Hel sid it was impossible. She was transmitting from transfinite warp-probe and was almost a full millennium behind us. Whatever was happening, she was worried sick.

Making contact with any space marine chapter would be the best thing to do, even ridged chapters like the templars. That is if you actually have any plans of actually trying to change something in the 40k world. Why because even though "all marines are angry marines" out of all the factions in 40k they would be most likely to understand someone who's come from the 21st century (assuming you are on their side).

I could also see becoming a pretty powerful tech adept, possibly racing up the ranks assuming since I have a lot of areospace engineering and computing background from the 21st century. That however could quickly turn ugly if someone in the Admech got extremely jelly at your success and decided to ex you out and steal your newly created tech.

Fuck I might even start my own biz if that was the case, assuming I could get sanctioned if I pledged loyalty to supply the Imperium.

Holy fucking shit, this damn planet.

I thought I'd sign up for the Guard, tour the galaxy, shoot some Ork bitches, maybe hook up with a Sister or two, and be bros with the Space Marines, but /fuck/.

I'll I've done here so far is guard this shitty-ass backwater farming planet for the last three Emperor-forsaken months. The most interesting thing to happen so far? Bunch of farmers saw a comms satellite go down halfway across the world, thought there was gonna be an invasion or some shit. And all that even amounted to was them spending four straight hours in the city hall, crying about what to do when the demons come and eat them.

The next six months I have on this rock isn't going to end fast enough, I swear.

>>16417735
Wouldn't creating new tech be consider techno heresy? Unless that only applies to messing with stuff already made.

>>16417711
[intelligible]
Oh Throne... If I forget the Emperor, don't let him forget me... [intelligible] [crashing noise]

Date:... Whatever the last one was, it was about three hours ago, frak!

[gunshots]

Tera! Tera! Oh Throne, preserve her... only decent navigator I've ever met...

[intelligible]

This is the Inquisitorial ship Recurring Judgement. Our gellar field failed for about three minutes. We've been boarded by daemons. Look Tzeenchtian, I'm no expe- [intelligible]

Warp!! Warp!!! Frak you, you frakking [intelligible]!! Miles! Bring that melta around! Ron, are we in realspace? Yes? Radio whoever is down there, then! Tell them to shoot us down! Anyone not in the bridge is to head to an escape pod!

[intelligible]
[intelligible]

If the boys groundside do as they're told, and you've found this record...
Make up something cute to tell Helgha.

>>16417786

MOAR

>>16417786
I'm alive. Despite the best attempts of Admiral Testa.

Dated: Check 6 702 993.M41

As I said... Despite the best attemps to do their duty, the Navy stationed around the area where we dropped out of the Warp wasn't able to shoot us down. Everything worked out for the best, though. As soon as the last recording cut out, three things happened:
1) Our Gellar field pulsed. I'd only heard old sailors tell stories about that happening, but I guess it really does occur. The field pulsed while in realspace, causing some kind of overlap with the warp, and... well the point is that every daemon reacted like it had been doused with blessed promethium, and anything that survived that got cut down by Miles and his melta.

2) I didn't find out about this until later, but our techpriest recovered control and contacted the world we were about to crash into. The local government declared an emergency and cleared an area big enough to crash-land into with (relative) safety. Not only that, but the Imperial Court space marine chapter was in the system, and would meet us on-world.

3) I found the prisoner.
He was cowering in a corner on the bridge. Our eyes met. I don't know what happened, but I could just... tell. He didn't mean for this to happen, but he knew it was his fault, somehow. I lunged over to him and shot him, but not without a brief apology. The poor man died afraid and alone, in a universe where no one knew or loved him.

[distant]

I'll be back. Someone is summoning me... Probably the governor.

I'd be a 14 year old girl and sign up to be a titan princeps to deal with my issues of self worth. The machine spirit of my titan would actually be my mother, and I would strictly battle Bio-Titans. I guess one could eventually like, open my mind to the hivemind and I'd naked in a bathtub insane, but, until then it'd be fun.

Fuck I didn't wish for this, i've always thought it'd be funny if somehow i got transported into the 40k universe. Well guess sometimes Fate has a sense of humor...

Its been two? three? fuck i can't even tell anymore, this is definitely not earth. Since i "teleported" to this planet and was found by some Guardsmen, this is so fucking mindfuck scary that i havent gotten a bit of sleep always jerking awake at the simple of branch movements and screaming. God now they are handing me a gun...

I'd like to end up initially in Tau space, since I could get my bearings there while being treated relatively well.

But once I had a lay of the land and some resources under my belt, I'd emigrate to Ultramar Imperium space. I'd just tell them my parents were filthy xeno-lovers and I wanted to be on the winning team. Why forsake the comforts of Tau society for the far less pleasant Imperium? Because THE EMPRAH PROTECTS.

>>16417890

I haven't had much time to write in this the Commissar has been keeping me busy and always hovering over my back, I think its been four months since the Incident I've picked up some basic Low Gothic and can now communicate somewhat effectively with some of the Guardsmen, but none are willing to talk to me, every time one sees me they make some kind of gesture across their chest and move out of their way. The only two people who really deal with me are the Priest and Commissar,

God i just want to go home...this training is going to kill me, Fix this, Run that,, don't mess with that...I'll try to record more but i don't know if i'll live much longer

End Communication

Captures by Necrons turn and turned Squishy Pariah.

I wasn't a looker or social type before, so no big loss.

>>16402232
Isn't it canon that the guard are only kept semi effective so that if they go rebel or to CHAOS! then they're still only semi effective?

>>16417869
(Just one more post. Like I said, I'll archive this and be back to bump it tomorrow. Maybe I'll continue the adventures of Inquisitor Nameless and his conniving time-traveler of a girlfriend)


Well fuck me with a chain sword and call me Creed...

Dated: Check 6 702 993.M41

That was Helgha. I can hardly believe it. I almost kissed her when I saw her. I almost killed her, too. She told things to important before I could do anything, though.

I was right, in a way. The prisoner wasn't intentionally responsible for what happened to the Recurring Judgement. It was the sheer volume of knowledge he possessed about daemons, particularity Tzeentch, that caused it. So full was his mind that even our Gellar field couldn't stop the daemons from using him as a portal. That wasn't the worst part, though.

It's happening everywhere.

A sudden surge in noble populations the galaxy over.
Techpriests with all sorts of new devices. Some heretical.
Guard units reporting strangers with a good grasp of tactics- and Imperial history.

It's only a few hundred reported so far... but everywhere they appear, daemons or worse follow.

She's brought me and my surviving retinue onboard with her. I'm happy to be with her... but Emperor knows where we're going.

>>16417873
Nice pasta. No, really. Someone needs to expand on this NAO.

>>16402139

In a Tech Priest training facility.

I'll survive by blowing all their minds by simply explaining how electricity works.

>>16417963
Thats not pasta, Ive only posted it once before!

>>16402139
I'd like to show up in an area held by the Steel Legion. My combat engineering skills would aid theirs, and in return I could learn new tactics, propelling me to soaring heights in the military hierarchy. My fortresses and killing fields would be famed, Cadians, even the mighty Imperial Fists would pay homage to learn the secrets of 21st century tactics. With so many worlds re-fortified to be resistant to the barbaric, almost idiotic attacks made by Ork, Khornates and Tyranid "strategists", the amount of manpower freed up would lead to the conquering of whole new sectors.

Pic vaguely related. The holy fore bearers to the mighty Chimaira.

>>16417958
And that's all there is, for now. Like I said, I'll write some more if the thread lives tomorrow. Anyone who wants to write themselves into this, feel free.

>>16417958
>Techpriests with all sorts of new devices. Some heretical.
I'd think they'd laugh at such low tech devices.
It wouldn't be like we're bringing in AIs or anything.

>>16417976

They know perfectly well how electricity works. They just don't innovate is all, because innovation leads to curiosity, curiosity leads to heresy, and heresy leads to suffering.

>>16417998
Forgot to link to archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16402139/
Capcha: The Cluxpe. Perhaps the warp-entity responsible for this time trickery?

>>16417977
Keep this thread alive with Eva/WH40k!

>>16418005
Vidya has basic AI in it. A guy carrying a DS could easily end up with possessed pokemon. From there... who knows?

>>16418039
>VERY, EXTREMELY PRIMITIVE, but still present AI
Fixed that for myself.

>>16402162
Right, you would be executed for heresy in 10 minutes.

Step 1: Become Space Marine
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!

In some Elysian regiment somewhere.
Skydiving into the middle of battle sounds pretty cool to me.

And here are the final pieces of the Journal.

Journal Entry: December (?) 40,000(?)
I was woke up, something felt... strange. Like my mind was all fuzzy at the edges. Things looked slightly off, and I kept hearing, strange, but faint noises. I tried to shake it off, but I just couldn't. I was in the holding cells of a different ship this time. I didn't even remember how I ended up there. At least my guard was nice. Kind of pretty too. I'd seen a couple of female guardsmen back when I was fighting the Tau, but my squad was all men.
We were in the middle of talking when an Inquisitor showed up. He wanted to know what I had told Inquisitor Tama. I obliged him, telling him what I knew and again, I started to fade. But this time was worse. Unintelligble muttering filled the void, a voice that wasn't my own... and nothing I did could get rid of it. And then I was back. I had stopped speaking. And he had a perplexed look on his face. But he left me alone.

>>16418102

Final Journal Entry:
I spent the next few days getting to know my guard better. Really, she was quite pretty, and very charming. I tried to sleep, but that was getting harder, and harder for me. Strange, grotesque dreams, whispered voices, things I couldn't understand or comprehend haunted me when I rested. I can't tell anyone though. I don't know what they would do to me, but I likely wouldn't survive it... I wish I could tell someone... Oh god above, I wish I could tell someone. Do something. Just get them out of my head...
And then they stopped. It was quiet... so very quiet for once. Before the screaming started. Inhuman shrieks and gibbering, strange eldritch voices, mixing with the human yelling of the guards and crew. I was helpless. No weapons, no armor, I didn't know what was going on, but it terrified me. The door opened, and this thing... this horrific, twisted thing, it looked at me, and then laughed. Why it didn't kill me... I don't know. The screaming started to fade, the sounds of battle echoed down the halls, but none where I was. Everyone nearby was dead. It was almost opressive, this quiet. The ship was wracked with a shuddering jolt, again and again for several minutes...a sudden painful shriek as if a hundred voices, and then it was quiet. But different. Less deadening. I tried to find if anyone around was still alive... but no, everyone here was dead. I was lost in the warren of hallways and rooms. Eventually, I ended up in what looked like a bridge of some sort. Or at least, it had windows to look out, and quite a few bodies slumped over machinery. I sat in a corner... even my months of fighting the Tau hadn't prepared me for such horror.
And then I heard footsteps.

>>16418045
>>16418039
No, it doesn't.
What the fuck guys.
Those are scripts. They follow a set path which occasionally branches out according to preprogrammed situation parameters. THEY ARE NOT AI.

>>16418067
Step 1: Become Space Marine
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Inevitably meet a horrifying death, or worse.

>>16418111
(Had to break this one into two pieces to fit it)

Final Journal Entry, Continued:
It was the Inquisitor from early. I looked up, and he looked down. I never did mean for anything like this to happen. I don't even know what happened. How I got here, how I knew so much about this place... about the galaxy 38 millennia past my own time. I think he could tell. He apologized quietly, and then shot me.

And God-Emperor help me... I woke up. Back home. How the hell this happened... I don't even begin to understand. I heard the blast of his boltpistol and then nothing. But... I... woke... up. In my own time. In my own town. Things were normal. Am I crazy? Maybe. Did I imagine it? I don't think so. I did arrive back home with the two things still on me when I died. The clothing on my back, and the Uplifting Primer I picked up from a dead soldier. I do think that my time there is done though. I wouldn't want to go back. The dead should remain dead.

>>16417998
Morning bump! I'll be back in a few hours to write a bit more. Hopefully, the thread is still alive.

>>16417869
Finally got to my computer. Probably shouldn't be up this early in my current state, but fuck it. Here's some more writefaggotry. Again, I'll stop only when asked to.

Somebody make a 40k version of that game where you always end up as an african child and die of cholera?

>>16421894
Frakkin' gearheads are getting us killed...

Dated: Check 4 333 995.M41

Found another time-traveler. This one tried to join the Mechanicum, somehow. He ended up corrupting the techpriests studying him, and they built a rudimentary time-machine. More like a "time-titan" really. Hel tried to explain how it worked, but I'd rather not deal with Ordo Chronos stuff.

That brings the grand total to 26. 26 men and women claiming to be from M3. 26 cases of extreme corruption stemming from their intimate knowledge of Chaos. Frak...

[distant]

We found another one. I usually hate cutting these things short, but the Astartes holding him aren't patient men.

>>16422046
That was... interesting.

Dated: Check 3 334 993.M41

Number 27 wasn't like the other ones. The few travelers we've met so far are either terrified of their current situation, or they're almost... ecstatic. This one was calm. He apparently walked straight towards the nearest Astrates monastery and explained his situation in broken Gothic (which he learned while hitch-hiking across the world he appeared on). He also asked for Ordo Chronos by name. That's something new. They usually know the major factions from the Inquisition, but this one seems to have a far deeper understanding than the others. When Hel asked about this, he mumbled something about "playing daemonhunters". Must be a reference to that game they're always talking about...

[distant crash]

What the frak? Miles, what was that?

>>16422116
++Mobile Recording Platform++
Alright... we're on board the hulk. Throne, I can't believe we hit that.

Uh, right. I probably should explain.

Once I get back to the ship, I'll synch this up to the rest of the archive. For now, I'm using the recording platform embedded in this suit. We hit a space hulk while we were exiting the system where we picked up 27. Space hulk wasn't registered, and no one claimed salvage. No obvious signs of tainting by xenos or chaos...

Celty, you done with that read-out yet?

Perfect. Alright, last known destination was Tau space. It's definitely Imperial, so it could be a trading vessel for all I know. Read-out says most of the hull is breached. There's a few rooms deeper into the ship that still have atmo, though... Hel? We're going in.

[brief arguing]

Hmph. Doesn't bat an eye when I forget her birthday and gives me warp for not bringing a bolter onto an abandoned hulk. I sure know how to pick 'em... Celty, if there are any biosigns, you let- There are? Perfect... Let's pray it isn't orks or 'stealers...

[sustained silence for about 200 seconds]

Alright. I'm at med bay. Celty tells me that something's alive in here. I'm hoping it doesn't stay that way...

[hiss of decompression, plasma pistol activated]

Emperor, he's alive! Frak, that's about to change!! Ron, get us back over there!

Frak me, I should know better at this point...

>>16422223
++Synchro Complete++

Dated: Check 3 335 995.M41

Emperor... We found another one. This is the only we've ever found two at a time. Hel's freaking out. Everyone is, on some level. We've seen what these bastards can do on their own... Two of them...

28, as I'm calling him, is in the med bay, recovering. Short-wave teleport doesn't treat people too kindly the first time around, and this was an exaggeration of that rule. Not sure what we're going to do about him...

As if that weren't enough, 27 and I finally got to talk. He told me that he was looking for an "Inquisitor Cheveska". She's with Hereticus, and is stationed somewhere near Cadia. He tells me that she'll be playing a big part in the next Black Crusade, and wants to help out anyway he can. Throne... at least this one's co-operative. I remember 8. Bitch joined the Tau at the first chance she got. If it weren't for that Vindicare Hel keeps on hand, the Tau would've had a complete play-by-play for their next crusade. That was right around the time these things stopped surprising me.

I keep trying to press 27 for more information on the 13th Black Crusade, but he's not giving me anything clear. He did, however, say one thing that worried me...

Chaos will take Cadian ground. We have to allow him into the orbital and hold the surface at all cost.

I've only heard that once before, and I don't trust 27 anymore than I did 1.

>>16402139

I'd like to end up buried six feet under the ground with nothing but a cyanide capsule because that's going to be more pleasant than existing there.

Some backwater agriworld on the edge of Segmentum Pacificus where I would learn the local language and never speak where I came from in order to draw minimal atention to myself.

>>16422327

Dated: Check 3 502 995.M41

Headed to Cadia, finally. Hel and I had a LOOOOOOONG talk after my last entry... She decided that she doesn't trust 27 either, but if he's going to pull something like 8 did, we might as well let him show his hand. Still... I can't for the life of me figure out what could possibly come out of something like this. Maybe the battle for Cadia really will play out like he said... With the Imperium taking the orbitals and the heretics blasting their way out with... whatever they hope to find.

28 woke up last week. I'm holding off on interrogating him, but from what he's told me, he hasn't seen the best time. He found a rogue trader headed to Tau space and bought his way onboard. There was a mutiny halfway through the voyage, and 28 was on the losing side. When the winners left, they left 28 to die in the hold where we found him. Damn... That's rough.

[distant]

I'm going to talk to him right now.

>>16422569
Anyone still reading these, by the way? I don't feel so hot, and if no one is reading, then I don't see a reason to continue.

>>16422634
im reading. if its not to much trouble please continue

>>16422634

Me also. Good read.

>>16422634
They're awesome. Continue, please. I'm thinking that I might try my hand at some of this myself. Thanks for the inspiration!

>>16422723 here

+++COMMENCEAUDIOLOG0001+++
...This thing on? Oh, look. It's got some vox-thingy recording. That's nice. So, umm... I'm just gonna keep this thing recording as I really just need to talk. Err, to anyone that can, y'know, understand this: I'm Jakob, and as far as I can tell, I'm screwed. This whole thing is just insane...

OK, maybe I should just begin at the beginning. I went to sleep as normal, and when I woke up, I was lying on a corpse. Yeah, that's... Uh... Quite disgusting. I of course panicked. Rolled over, jumped up. Looked around. Saw what looked like a WWI battlefield. Then I realised what that corpse was. It was an Imperial Guardsman...

Yeah. Shit. Looked around a bit more. Found more bodies. Most human, and Imperials. Some Tau. Found this thing. Looked like a recorder. And whattayaknow, it was. Now I'm stumbling around the killing fields, looking for some more food. Found some MRE-like things. Tasted like shit, and if I recall my Warhammer lore correctly, it might've been corpse starch. But it filled me up. Now, I'm gonna go check on that Tau thingy over there... Be back in a while
+++ENDAUDIOLOG0001+++

>>16422660
Haha, you got it.


Dated: Check 3 555 995.M41

Headed to Cadia. We just received an emergency broadcast from Cheveska. Headed to rendezvous with her as I'm recording this. Not only that, but it's just me, with 27 and 28 again. Hel got called back by another Inquisitor. Something about a consult regarding an older case. 19, I think it was.

Heh, is it sad that I almost miss her?

At any rate, here's the transcript from my interrogation of 28.

//TRANSCRIPT START//

Myself: Well, kid. Where you from?

28:... hah. Aren't Inquisitors supposed to be more "by the book than that"?

Myself: We're supposed to be... But look at it this way. We found you near-death in a space hulk, somehow ended up here from the 3 millennium. You're in a grim and dark universe with almost no friends to speak off, and we only picked you up because you might be useful in corroborating some intel I have. Would harassing you really be any better than just showing you a little kindness?

28:.... True.

Myself: Now, what can you tell me about the 13th Black Crusade?

28: The 13th? Let's see... I think Chaos takes Cadia?

Myself: You think?

28: I'm new to this whole thing.. I don't even play Warhammer, just Dawn of War.

>>16422634
I'm stuck at work but fuck the customers! I'm hiding in the back reading this. Even if you don't continue today come back another time and give us more.

I'd be fine with getting inducted into a slaneeshi cult to survive.

+++COMMENCEAUDIOLOG0002+++
*loud shriek*
Shitshitshitshit...
*panting*
*whining noise*
*quiet thump*
*heavy, fast footsteps*
*fast, almost panicked breathing*
...Thank the God-Emperor. They've passed.
Jesus, this thing's on? Ah well. Just almost got caught by some Tau. Tried to shoot me, the bastards! Whole Fire-Warrior squad. Managed to jump aside, currently in some burnt-o...
*loud yell*
*feminine voice screaming in Low Gothic*
Hey, keep it calm! Err... Ave Imperator! Waitwait... There, see Aquila Sign?
*feminine voice speaking in Low Gothic*
Listen miss, I don't understand you. See? I don't comprehend... What? Want me to follow you? Sure, you haven't shot me yet, unlike those Tau bastards...

So, uh... I'm... Whoa, shit! Look, it's just an audiologger! It's chill? Well, good.
*footsteps for a minute*
Yeah, as I was saying... I'm picked up by some IG chick. I hope that we're heading for some sort of camp. Shit, I can't believe this is fucking happening... Kurwa...
So, gonna cut this short. I dunno how long this thing'll hold, and I really wanna keep some kind of diary.
+++ENDAUDIOLOG0002+++

Awesome writing guys! I love how you're including most of us in this thread as different cases.

>>16422832
//CONTINUED//

Myself: Damn... Any chance you know of that "lexicanum" thing?

28: Only once... I needed to look up a walkthorough and got that instead. Something about Boreal...

Myself: Ah well... Damn.

28: Wait! There is something!

Myself: Oh? What is it?

28: I don't remember too well, but I know this for sure. You can't let Chaos take Cadia.

Myself: Tell me something I don't know, haha. I just wish we knew how to stop them...

28: It has something to do with a trap. Chaos is going to try and clear the surface... I think. For what, I don't know.

Myself: Is there an artifact of some sort...?

28:... There could be. Fuck! I don't remember... Just reinforce Cadia!

[At this point, a struggle is heard. 28 begins to panic, and guards are brought in to restrain him]


//END//

+++COMMENCEAUDIOLOG0003+++
'Sup. Back again. I'm immensely relieved. That chick took me to an IG camp, and dragged my ass to what appeared to be a Captain. He looked at me, nodded, smiled and shook my hand.
Then he turned to the chick, blabbered in what I think was Low Gothic, and the chick answered and nodded. She took me to a quatermaster, I believe. I now have a slightly dirty IG uniform, a whiteshield helmet, boots and a lasgun.
Also, I've got a sleeping bag and a blanket. It's night now, and I'm sitting in my improvised shelter. Found some plastic boards and made a quick shelter, if it'd rain tonight.

I think I've gotten grabbed by the Imperial Guard. I pretty much expect to die soon. At the very least they haven't killed me. Probably thinks I'm a native of the planet that doesn't speak their dialect. Well, let's just hope...
Also, haven't seen a Commissar. This probably is for the best. Also, I'll try taking English to the Captain tomorrow. I think that High Gothic was supposed to be like English. Time to pray, and sleep.
+++ENDAUDIOLOG0003+++

>>16423041
>>16422869
>>16422723
>>16422712
>>16422660
It's slow, but thanks for reading, anons! I'm gonna try and finish this one at the very least. Depending on whether the Inquisitor With No Name survives or not, I might do a few more.

>>16422968
>Thank the God-Emperor. They've passed.
>Jesus, this thing's on?

derp.

Somewhere in the middle in one novel I heard about happy resort planets but in the novel it got attacked by Dark elders

>>16423106
Well, they ARE the same dude.

If I was ported right now, I would choose to appear in the panthenon of the chaos gods - the nutral ground where they all meet to do god politics - during a meeting. First I would offer my kabab to nurgle as it's just about the most discusting man made thing that would exist in the 41M. Then I would ask Tzeenchy why he brought me here and what the plan was.

>>16402139
I'd probably try and land myself in some mid to high class hive spire on Terra, selling beverages.

>>16423067

Dated: Check 3 667 995.M41

Finally on Cadia. Met with Cheveska. Things are getting worse...

There's a Chaotic fleet amassing deep in the Eye. Right now, it looks like just Black Legion, but that could change any minute. The population is gearing up for a fight, and given 27's intel, I expect the Mechanicum to begin excavations at any moment. They've already uncovered a few xeno ruins deep under the ground. Looks like 27 checked out after all... The strategy at this point seems to be to reinforce everything, and prepare for a siege. A lot of local worlds are sending food. I saw a few juvies try and cook an apple the other day. They'd never seen one...

I released 27 into Cheveska's custody. He's adjusting well, and he might end up serving in the IG here, or at least running security somewhere.

Still haven't heard from Hel. Our fight the weeks before hand wasn't anything too big, but I'm still worried. I'll give her a shout later...

Thinking about synching up a few old reports to this archive, just for safe keeping. Should I...?

>>16423151


if he just transported to a different millennium, he wouldn't change his mannerisms overnight. its probably the same way people say "goddamnit"

Paradise World. Survive by being a lackey to some Imperial Noble.

>>16423166

Slanesh is pleased.

>>16423106
I actually use that expression IRL. Just as I greet people with "All hail the God-Emperor". Yes, I'm not even kidding. No, people don't seem to mind.

I'm currently archiving these stories on my computer, to make sure that they can be accessed when needed. (I do happen to want to keep my work. Those Journals turned out well, I think.)

Later on, I may post the completed stories formatted as a record from an Imperial Archive.

Be a young noble on Elysia, learn the customs, the language...
Volunteer into the PDF, get quality equipment and training...
Spend a couple years fighting space pirates...
Then, join the Elysian drop troops, go fighting for the Emperor in style by skydiving, shotgun in hand, straight into Xenos scum.

>>16423230

Dated: Check 2 778 995.M41

Haven't kept these logs up to date. Been meeting with this general or that brother-captian. There is a reason I wrote something today, though. Well, two really.

Reason number one: Helgha finally got back to me. Here's the audio file she sent me:

//TRANSCRIPT START//

Helgha: HEY BABE. ON MY WAY TO CADIA. BIG SURPRISE, DON'T TELL ANYONE. SEE YOU IN A FEW

//END//

Helgha is a lot of things. One thing she isn't, though, is a woman who calls people "babe". The closest thing she has to a pet name is "grox-frakker". Something is wrong here.

Reason number two: I saw 28 again. I bought one of those apples for the occasion. I hadn't seen him since we arrived at Cadia, and I figured I might as well keep treating him well.

//TRANSCRIPT SECTION START//

Myself: [tosses apple] These aren't cheap, y'know. I hope they're a delicacy back in M3.

28: Haha... They're okay. [bites apples] Mmmmm... Weird... Apples on Cadia.

Myself: How is that strange?

28:... I can't remember, but I remember something terrible about the apples on Cadia. Or the ships they came on...

//END SEECTION//

I checked out the ship. Lots of merchants have been coming in and out of the system. I'm not sure if that's entirely okay, particularly with those excavations having reached their deepest point.

>>16423294
Nice. I was gonna just put 'em on the wiki if there was enough interest in them.

>>16423348
Taking a brief break before I wrap this up. After this one, though, I want to write up some "archived cases". Anyone have anything interesting they wanna see done in addition to the ones already posted?

Moar

>>16423235
Also if anyone questions him about, say its a Ecclessiarchal saint on his homeworld.

If someone from our time ended up in the 40k universe and somehow makes his way to the Emperor and is allowed to get close to him, how would the Emperor react to him? I'd guess he would have a epic nostalgia moment

+++COMMENCEAUDIOLOG0004+++
*footsteps*
...'Kay, here goes nothing...
*door creaking*
*shuffling footsteps*
Good morning, sir.
*confused muttering*
//heavily accented English, deep, male//
You speak High Gothic?
//RP English, medium, male//
You... Could say that.
//HAEDM//
What do you mean?
//RPEMM//
I mean that from where I come, we call it something else.
//HAEDM//
Huh. More to the point, why didn't you speak up last night?
//RPEMM//
I didn't realise it'd work, and I was utterly confused. Plus, the girl didn't seem to understand me.
//HAEDM//
Very well. What is your name, private?
//RPEMM//
Jakob, sir.
//HAEDM//
Odd name. You are from here?
//RPEMM//
No, sir. That's why I needed to talk to you.

>Cont. later on
>Comments? This is my first write-fag attempt. Am I horrible?

>>16423413
Well, if we want to get crazy how about a entire base of marines stationed somewhere in Afghanistan ends up on some desert planet. Base includes ammo, equipment, some Humvees and maybe a Abrams tank or two. Would make for a VERY interesting case for whatever imperial force stumbles upon this little pocket of 21st century.

>>16423516
Its a good attempt, I'm trying to enter writefaggotry myself, through I feel that the guy should be a little nervous, but successfully hiding it

>>16423516
I like the direction you are going in, but I would suggest making it a little more tense after he tries to explain what happens. Also may want to add some spaces in between speakers; it was a little hard to follow who was exactly saying what.

I'd be an adept of the Adeptus Mechanicus.

I'm already halfway to techpriesthood. Probably wind up a cogboy attached to an IG unit.

I'd die, sure, but all men must die, and it is in the manner of our death that we distinguish ourselves. Personally, I'm hoping to 0110011101101111001000000110111101110101011101000010000001101001011011100010000001100001001000000110
0010011011000110000101111010011001010010000001101111011001100010000001100111011011000110111101110010
01111001

>>16423555

My theory is that the Imperial forces basically have a reaction similar to the following:

>"What's the Ewe-Assay?"
>Needing machines to do your trajectory calculations for you
>41,011

>Man these fuckers are really well-organized, call in something a little heavier
>Holy shit they commandeered a Leman Russ, call in a goddamn Orbital
>Whew, that was close. Welp, back to the grind.

>>16423682
Yeah :/

Or maybe a situation where they are forced to cooperate? The IG army stationed on planet has been cut off from supplies reinforcements by a warp storm, so they are basically trying to survive on the planet until help arrives. They come across these "Amerecans," who are also "cut off" so to speak. They form an uneasy alliance fighting a local ork/tau contingent on planet as a necessity of survival.

I'd teleport to one of the SPESS MAHREN recruiting worlds (Prefferably Crimson Fists) and try to join the chapter. Failing that, I'd probably sign up for the PDF and work to be sent in the next batch of Imperial Guardsmen.

IF the Cluxpe has some sense of...humor this is where I would end up.
+++++ (all in swedish)
Where the hell am I? Sure, I dreamt about getting the fuck out of my life. But this? This? This has to be a fucked up fever dream. Ended up on a world in the...Warhammer universe, the grimderp version...pure luck I wasn't torched at sight by the...I guess the Ecclesiarchy troops, don't understand a word yet. Somehow I was spared since a) I was human, b) some gaudy looking fellow stopped them, with gaudy I mean GAUDY.

And, if this is...where I think I am...I sure as hell gotta start praying to the Emperor...for I know shit...thankfully not any deep knowledge about the Warp, but who knows how little is required for something to happen?

Be careful for what you wish, you may get it.

>>16424011
(continuing)

Verklighet, dröm, Skilda evigt åt.
Tag akt då drömmen blir sann.
Den vill dig något, men vad?

Lyss', på vindens hot.
Stärk det skydd du fann.
Vänd upp ett nytt blad!

Lös upp korsets knot.
Sök ljusets famn.
Sjunk ner i livets bad.
-------
++++
Reality, dream. Forever apart.
Take heed when the dream comes alive.
It hungers for you, but what part?

Heed to the wind's call!
Strengthen the found shelter.
Turn a page anew.

Unravel the crosses knot.
Seek the embrace of light.
Let thee be engulfed by it.

Thank goodness for the poetry I still know. While the guardians and...people interested in me don't understand what I am saying, they find the rhytms of my poetry odd. I just pray...well...to the Emperor that they won't execute me for an heretic...or worse.

I've read a lot about Chaos and its nature, so I'd either be eaten by daemons or nabbed up by the ordo malleus.

Not sure which is worse.

I can only imagine the bricks that would be shat by the inquisition when they discover that their entire existence is represented by a tabletop war game.

Especially if one of the people came through with a figure in their hand.

"Sir, why do you have a very tiny figure of Angron on you?"

"Oh no, see, this is from BEFORE he went all heretical."

If it's just my conciseness, I'd like to be on an Exodite Eldar world.

Presuming I remain human, to the eye, and I'd become a cultist for the Word Bearers, right quick. I have to imagine they'd take anyone who was sufficiently devoted. Otherwise, I'd be off to take the techpriest exam and join the legions on Mars.

Holy hell, I hope this is still here in about an hour.
In the meantime, does the archive update automatically?

>>16424283
If you'rr talking about my archives, no. I have to copy this to my computer manually. It's worth it though. I'd hate for this to get swept under the rug by accident.

If you're talking about the thread itself, then the answer is yes. Also...
If you want to keep the thread on hand, just save it to your favorites list. You'll be able to access it from there, and it'll have updated if anyone posts.

>Their entire existence is represented by a tabletop war game
Heh, reminds me of number of the beast by heinlein
All universes exist as stories in other universes.

>>16424362
If this in on suptg it will be updated automatically

>>16424412
>the four travel in their ship, the Gay Deceiver

I'm getting this book.

>>16424449
It's well worth the read, and the universes as stories in other universes is an intriguing idea that I feel needs to be expanded upon in some form

i would capture things....4 KAHEWSE!!!

>>16424510
There's a mega-crossover fic where all the different fictions and stories are actual universes, and the new Chaos Gods go about visiting them.

It's a sequel to Thousand Shinji, and it hasn't been updated in forever. Still very good. It's also spawned a hatefic that continue the story, but it favors the non-40k factions much better.

>>16424553
Ah yes, the open door, recently discovered that along with thousand shinji, really enjoyed the both of them.
In fact, I have both of them currently open in tabs.

>>16424582
The FF.net one only goes to ch. 77 or so, but there's a few more chapters on stardestroyer.net. The author also announces the hiatus there, and that made me very sad.

>>16424553
Out of interest, what's the name of the hatefic?

>Cont.

"So, what do you mean?"

"Well Sir..."
*hasty breath*
"I'm not from the Imperium, Sir."

"...What?"

"See... Uhm... I'm from Terra, but before the Emperor emereged to lead us on the Great Crusade. I'm from what you'd call M-3, Sir."
*silence for a while*

"Well... This is odd. Are you sure you're not just mentally ill, or for that matter a servant of Chaos? Why would I believe you?"

*rustling of clothes*
"Well, Sir, I don't expect you to believe me. But, if you could, I'd like to see a scribe or preferably an Inquisitor."
+++ENDAUDIOLOG0004+++

What if you had a copy of the 40k rulebook or one of the codexes with you?

That would be very weird.

Stick me in the Eye of Terror, rip part of my brain out, give me a chainaxe and bolt pistol, and I'll figure the rest out.

>>16423555
What, this sounds sick.

Do it.

>>16424678
The doorstop.

It's a telling name. The author completely sets Chaos up for a curbstomp and has everything go wrong for them.

Like retconning the Stilletto into nearly getting blasted by the Cylon nukes, but the TSAB ships shrugging off anti-matter torpedoes.

I gotta quit getting mad at fanfiction.

>>16424847

Well, it's only FAIR. In the Thosand whatever, they do almost everything right, can't fail. So it's funny to see the opposite happen.

The Emperor's Throne Room.

Tell the Custodes that I am the Emperor's Prophet.

Become Space Mohammad.

Found Emperor Islam.... Empelam?

Win fabulous prizes and soritas poontang

>>16424905
I'd be fine if they just had things go wrong because of luck, or skill or something.

Instead the author nerfs the fuck out of Chaos and buffs his own favorites.

There I go, getting mad at FF again.

>>16423751
>guards' faces when this "Abrams" outperforms a Land Raider
>and this sacred tank is taken to Holy Terra for it is surely a relic from the Dark Age of Technology
>brought before the Emperor, who once masqueraded as Abraham Lincoln
>he gazes upon the beautiful AMERICAN steel
>the metallic glimmer of LIBERTY fills his heart with joy and sorrow
>the Emperor rises from his throne, empowered by sweet AMERICAN FREEDOM
>ascends to the top of the Imperial Palace
>plants the Stars and Stripes
>founds the United States Marine Corps Legion of Space Marines
>conquers the galaxy FOR AMERICA
I got sidetracked somewhere along there.

>>16424979

Again...same exact thing the other dude did. What goes around, comes around.e

>>16423413
I'm back. Let's finish this.

>>16425006
not to make this thread AGAIN, but a company of USMC up against a regiment of imperial guard would be interesting. Depending on the commander and regiment of the Guard might be even, if they can resist the urge to bayonet charge

>USA wankfiction
How dull.

>>16425038
Assuming they both use decent tactics it's probably a fair fight. Marines have vastly superior tanks but Guard have much larger numbers and are also physically really buff. Their weapons and armour are about the same quality.

Copy pasta from another place concerning IG weapons:

"A lasgun is probably about as strong as a .308 rifle maybe a .338 lapua magnum. It is described as having the power to tear a man's limbs off not take vehicles, hell autoguns (which are essentially the same as modern battlerifles) can compete with a lasgun. For a comparison a .50cal rifle will blow a man to pieces and it has the armor-piercing capability of going completely through an armored car. I once saw a video where a soldier shot an insurgent with a .50 and blew the man to pieces, the man's torso flew sky high in the air and it took a good 5 seconds to come back down that happened in RL. I don't see lasguns doing that so IG small arms aren't going to bring down vehicles, but they will still be very effective against infantry. Guardsmen armor can probably survive Ak-47 rounds without much trouble but 7.62x51mm rounds will probably pierce right through it."

>>16425038

>a company of USMC

Who cant even beat a bunch of halfassed sand monkeys

>up against a regiment of imperial guard

Who regularly face (and defeat) creatures that would make US Marines run away screaming

Also guess which one has orbital fire support...

Yeah I know who I gots my money on.

>>16425062
>Marines have vastly superior tanks
>than the Imperial Guard from WH40,000
That imagine is trolltastic and should be disregarded.

>>16425079
>Who cant even beat a bunch of halfassed sand monkeys
The Marines suck at fighting a guerilla force, sure. But in a straight battle - such as the kind the Guard fight - they're deadly.

>>16425062
The shit from IA2 is well known as absurdly stupid.

>>16425079
Marines, Army and hell NATIONAL GUARD can and have wiped the floor with anyone in a stand up fight. But the situation in the sandbox is a /little/ more complicated than that.

>>16425062
The one advantage guard would have is that Marines probably aren't used to fighting bitches with lasers and wizards.
Then again Guard probably aren't used to fighting a well trained and not retarded enemy.

>>16425104
>>16425115
Sorry, it's canon. I know you'd like to cherry pick, but you can't. All 40k material is canon, GW have said this many times.

>>16425027

Dated: Check 2 799 995.M41

Fanfiction.

It's the reason that the apples worried 28, and it's where the story of Cadia's fall was told.

At some point in the distant past, a story was written which was set in our universe. This doesn't surprise me, since I know that the current state of the galaxy is only a game to the men from the past, and it would make sense for there to be stories about that game. But in one of these stories (according to 28, one of the better ones), Cadia is attacked through trading vessels carrying apples.

That's why 27 and 1 were so adamant that our forces should concentrate on the ground. When the vessels make landfall, they'll activate the bombs onboard and destroy this world forever. Abbadon will have his base- and whatever Emperor forsaken device is buried here. With those two things, Terra is doomed.

Even as I write this, I am headed down to the starport. I don't know if the bombs will be coming down from there, but I do know that I can use the orbital traffic controller to stall all merchant vessels and shoot them down.

By the Emperor... I hope I can make it in time.

>>16425079
American casualties: 4.4 thousand.
Raghead casualties: 38.7 thousand.

>>16425062
Also I agree with
>>16425115
Imperial Armour is normally great, but they went full retard with that

>US marines
>Not the superior British Army

Your loss.

>>16425143
>Imperial Armour is normally great, but they went full retard with that
To be fair I don't really see how it contradicts the rest of 40k.

>>16425154
It makes the whole setting ludicrously crap. Like, they have black hole bombs and monofilament weaponry but it's not even capable of piercing something like 1/4 as tough as an Abrams. It is absolutely full retard.

>>16425145
>Indo-European subhumans good at war
>Not Uralic master race

>>16425062
I hate these comparisons. First of all, SF writers in general (regardless of the setting) have no idea what they are talking about so you get dumb stuff like that. Second what does "conventional steel" even mean. What is conventional for us is certainly not conventional for the Imperium. Also, both in game terms and in the fluff the Land Raider can survive things that will turn an Abrams into dust

>>16425154
40k gets by on rule of cool and handwaving. Whenever settings like that try to apply real science it gets stupid, and not in a good way. But after reading a couple 40k books and playing tons of the games, modern tanks seem better

>>16425145
HEY BRITBRO, THE US AND OUR MOMMA HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE NO OTHER. YOUR ROYAL MARINES WANNA JOIN THE FUN? LET'S ROLL BABY

>>16425173
But does it actually contradict anything?

>>16425131
//TRANSCRIPT START//

Helgha. It's me. I wish I could explain what's going on, but you never know who's listening. All I want you to know is that you can't trust them. Some might be like 2 and 16, they might try to help as much as they can, but Throne... Chaos really does follow them like a plague...

That's not all I want you to know.

I know were both Inquisitors. And I know the old joke about an Inquisitor's love-life.

But I still care about you, even if you show your own love by trying to get me killed.

Heh. For once, you might have succeeded.

//END//

>>16425173
I missed the part where 40k was supposed to be a super serious wankfest.

Discovering some old piece of modern technology that turns out to be super-powerful compared to 40k tech would be EXACTLY in character with old RT/2e 40k (aka, best 40k), especially since in 40k older usually means stronger, and ancient archeotech is usually best.

>>16425184
>THE US AND OUR MOMMA
And this is why self editing is important.

>>16425223
Yes. Archaeotech from the Dark Age of Technology, which going by Necromunda is fucking ring-sized plasma weaponry or personal field generators or something.

40k DOES HAVE a higher baseline technology than modern day Earth. It just does. Space travel is possible. Bionic limbs, brains and the regrowth of such things is possible. Cloning is possible. Tearing apart the fucking fundamental forces of reality with a bomb is possible. Monomolecular-edged shuriken aren't even that threatening.

That's why it's fucking retarded for an Abrams to be superior technology to what's in 40k. Because it demonstrably should not be.

>>16425050
>>16425079
>>16425104
>>16425107

Woah, I didn't mean to start an argument or anything when I posted that concept about a marine base. I just wanted to see how it played out. I didn't mean to come off as "LOL HUR DUUR AMERICA WINS," I just hrought it would be interesting to see how these two very different fighting forces would meld together in a situation like
>>16423751

I want to see this happen SO badly, but we all need to calm down a bit about this.

>>16425234
The United States and our momma. Our momma- Great Britain, what with the founding us and all.
Metaphors bro

>>16425277
>I just hrought it would be interesting to see how these two very different fighting forces would meld together in a situation like

Well if they were working together, it would be interesting. Guard is geared towards mass infantry, Marines are more squad based.
They'd compliment each other really well

>>16425184
>THE US AND OUR MOMMA HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE NO OTHER

I wouldn't say that. Domestic abuse against ones elderly parents is apparently not that uncommon.

>>16425296
Which is why this needs to be written. Its not supposed to be a wank-fest of who's better, but a great "what if" scenario.

>>16425272
Yeah and a bunch of guys with flak jackets and lasguns equivalent to .308 calibre rifles and tanks straight out of WW2 get along fine.

So while it's superior to the modern world in some respects, particularly space travel, it's inferior in others, like ground warfare.

Schizo tech, I think we call it. The USMC would get along great in land war in 40k.

rolled 31 = 31

>>16425201
++Mobile Recording Platform++

Is this on? Alright, Miles keep me in touch with command.

Right, this is Inquisitor [unintelligible] with the Ordo Xenos, acting as an agent for the Ordo Chronos. I've been alerted to a significant threat in the imidiate starport facility. All personelle are to evacuate. All guards are to shoot anyone who can't produce authentic ID. Not that it'll help...

[sounds of driving]

Patch me through to OrbControl! [pause] What do you mean, you've lost contact??

[another pause, lasting a full minute]

27, listen to me. I don't know if this sort of thing was allowed in M3, but if you don't [pause]. You were found wandering into an Astartes Monastery, how else were we to treat you? [pause]. ...What do you mean, I don't understand...?

[lengthy pause]

Frak you.

This is Inquisitor [gunfire] with the Ordo Xenos, acting as an agent for the Ordo Chronos. OrbControl has been infiltrated by a cultist acting on behalf of Alpha Legion. I am ordering all merchant vessels in orbit held off. Any vessel known to carrying foodstuffs, particularly apples, is to be boarded and inspected. Emperor help us all.


(Rolling to see if Inquisitor survives this one. Anything 50 and over is survival, anything 49 and under means death.)

>>16417873
So you've just been watching NGE or something?

What this thread started as
>You're in 40k, what do?
What it is now
>BOARD ALL SHIPS THAT HAVE APPLES

mfw

>>16425272
>>16425223
>>16425062
.308s will not sever limbs with any regularity, any deer hunter could tell you that. Blowing off body parts is more the perview of 50 caliber and 20mm rifles. 50 Caliber machine guns will blow the shit out of stuff because they hit them with more than one bullet, they guy you saw explode most likely took several hits.

The tanks statistics are from the Imperial Armor Books, which are know to be all over the place when it comes to fluff. For example what is "conventional steel" in 40k? Is it plasteel? That's the most common material they use for building.

Lasguns are said to sever limbs regularly so somewhere between a .50 and 30mm in power.

All the bayonets and chainswords have monomolecular or monoatomic edges.

The older fluff had circuitry being ubiquitous to the point that rifle butts where full of inbuilt computation systems. In fact every gun may have a very stupid machine spirit in it acting as rudimentary AI that makes the guns work better.

>>16425324
I'll do this one next.

>>16425337
Damn. Looks like he died. I liked this dude.

Also, I'm gonna namefag. Always wanted to, but I've never had an excuse. Even if it's just for this thread. Feels good, man.

(forgive my shitty writing, I'm out of practice)
>>16425324
+42nd Teegian Rifles+
+Colonel Fatigus Guyus+
These humans are rather strange. They claim to have never heard of the Emperor, nor our glorious Imperium, yet our priests have found no taint of Chaos amongst them.
They claim to be from Terra, yet they also refer to themselves as "Marines", when they are certainly not Adpetus Astartes. The Adminastrum officials have not been able to locate "The United States" on any planetary maps.
Regardless of their origins, they fight with the fury of any guardsman.
The orks were pressing hard, bellowing their sacrilegious warcries and riding their ridiculous war vehicles. They smashed our forward positions, overran our trenches and ripped our men apart with their bare hands.
We dug in around the ruins of a space port and resolved to hold as long as possible.
One of the marines mentioned to me that they had "a bit of experience" fighting in cities, and by the Golden Throne did it show.

>>16425406
Awesome name; it'll help clarify the thread a bit.

>>16425435
No offense to you, but I'd like to see
>>16425406
do it as he seems like he could draw it out a bit better.

>>16425456
Shut the fuck up, at least hes trying.

>>16425435
We fought as we learned in basic (and enforced by our Commissar), each position held to the last man.
These marines had a different philosophy, fighting from one position, then withdrawing to the next, never staying long enough to draw the Orks full ire.
I sent a man with a vox-caster to the "Marine" commander to facilitate communication. The 42nd would draw in the Orks, laying into them with holy lasfire and bayonet. Meanwhile the marines in their strange vehicles would circle around the orks and attack them from behind.
Within hours our combined forces had held the city, and were mobilizing for a counter-attack. To my mild surprise the newcomers seemed eager. Their commander said they had spent the last 8 years fighting an insurgency, waging war against shadows. Open battle would be a welcome relief.

>>16425337
Quick question, and while this is probably something blindingly obvious, I managed to miss it.

How do you roll? Or more exactly, what type command do you use? (Or do you use an outside program or what?)

That said, my personal archives are updated now.

>>16425520
Nevermind that question. I feel kind of stupid now. Blindingly obvious was right. So would be "Hidden in plain sight." *Facepalm*

>>16425337
++Mobile Recording Platform++
[footsteps]

[gunfire]

28!! 28! If you're in there, I'm going to-

*To what, Inquisitor?*

[silence, footsteps]

28.... What the frak?

*Inquisitor, I have a question. Imagine you're somehow transported to a world you don't understand yet know everything about. Imagine you can do as you please, you have an ACTUAL IMPACT in this universe.-*

You're insane. Half of your... kind... we found living quiet lives in Guard units, or in hiveworlds. One or two had families. I know you think you're all that but... Do you seriously expect to win? I could understand joining the Guard or Inquisition, and I can even rationalize joining the Tau. But Chaos? That doesn't even make sense!

*To you. But here, it almo-*

You were never good at just talking, were you? [gunshots]

[more gunshots]

Grah!!! Frak!! [gunshots]

[distant] *Brother Captain! There's the Inquisitor!*

[lone bolter shot]

Frak me... They got him. Frak...

I really hate reusing my lines... but go ahead and tell Helgha I said something cute.

>>16425509
>>16425435
I like this kid. Different from how I would do it, but I like it.

>>16425456
Thanks for the compliment, I suppose.


I'm gonna start doing "archived cases" now. Any suggestions?

>>16425435
>>16425509
I like this man's stuff better than the other story.

>>16425467
thanks bro, I guess I'm tired from being at work all day
>>16425509
Orks held the only facility on this continent with a Relay capable of making contact with our fleet. If we were going to get off this rock, we would need to take it back. The Marines agreed, after I gave my word that I would attempt to take them home.
I mobilized our chimeras, loading up the first and second companies. The Third, Fourth and Fifth would footslog behind.
Our newcomers were fully mechanized, aboard vehicles called "Strykers". They had four tanks of a pattern I had never seen before, but the marines called them "Abrahams". The techpriest were delighted, poring over the mighty beasts until their crews shooed them away.

In the course of an hour, the mixed task force was underway. The Marines made sport of racing us there, their Strykers bouncing over the wastes, firing at pockets of orks without slowing. I insisted on the doctrine I had been taught, dismounting troopers to fight the foul xenos as the Emperor demanded.

Their tanks were a sight indeed. Charging up the center of the formation, one tank- the name "Foreign Relations' written in bold letters on the side- scored 3 kills against Ork tanks in under a minute. With our multilasers joining in we cleared the first line of resistance without much trouble.

>>16425509
>>16425435

I'm liking this! But If I could suggest you draw it out a bit more. Right now, it seems you are writing a summary for a battle instead of an actaul battle, you know? Like, maybe some character interaction, or writing of how the encountered each other and the painfully slow build of trust between the two. It seems you are rushing to write it to just get it out there instead of taking some time and really developing the concept.

Again, I mean to criticize and not insult. You're putting in a great effort and you have my thanks.

I have a similar story related to this thread. Pretty much my idea was to create a character who was a former Tech Adept that was highly intelligent and successful and had intricate knowledge. However he was betrayed and horribly burned in a assassination attempt by the Admech so they could steal his research.
Surviving he became rogue and increasingly obsessed with "truth" and the "gods" of the world before. Swearing revenge and to bring to light the true decrepit state of the Imperium.

Anyway he discovers on a uncharted imperial world a ancient flight capable titan that kept in stasis pre-dating even the dark age of technology.
The titan posses technology never before seen anywhere in the Imperium. Strange markings consisting of stars and and red and white stripes and the writing of a old antiquated dialect. The cockpit configuration was stranger, consisting of single occupant and a very unusual neural interface that seemed to work on far more intimate level. The internal systems continually refereed to a "Uusa Naviee".

Not only that he becomes completely insane after discovering an archive detailing and ancient yet immensely powerful civilization he transcribed as "Umerica" and all of there technology and secrets.

Much of what I do now. That is, working on ancient vehicles for fun and profit, just with more metal bits on myself.

End up on a forgeworld
Impart technical goodness upon thy mechanicus
Pray to the emperor, be protected from Chaos
Request inquisitor and impart knowledge
Request they stop the bloody magpies from stealing everyones damned relics.
Become techgod for the glory of the emperor and ominnissah

Our Chimeras dismounted at the facility's outer limits as Orks rained fire on us from the Adamantine wall protecting it. I drew my power sword and led my command squad directly at the gate. I directed a techpriest to begin the opening of the gate. He besought the gate's spirit and began the rites of opening.
The fighting drew more aliens, as was their wont. The rest of my Regiment was still slogging it toward the facility, an hour or more away. The techpriest was struck by a weapon I believe the orks call a "stikk-bomb" and exploded. One of his mechandrites struck my flag-bearer and took his head off. I grabbed the flag before it could touch the ground, but it was becoming clear that we were hopelessly outnumbered, without any clear way through the gate.
The Marines were informed of our situation through my Vox-man, and told us to pull away from the gate. A moment later, Foreign Relations. began to fire shell after shell into the gate, punching holes through it. The other three tanks raked the walls with stubber and cannon fire, clearing away the gunners.

With the gate weakened, I brought forward a melta-gunner to start cutting through. The marines circled the facility in their Strykers, looking for an alternative way in. I lost two melta-gunners in the process, but the gate was open. The Orks began to pour through, meeting their end at flamer and lasgun and steel.

>>16425696
I'm rushing it, when I write for fun I always start with a rushed summary, then go over it again. I'll start to draw it out more

>>16425697
I like this, Sounds a lot like from Big-O. A man completely obsessed with uncovering the past and the power of the old world "Gods" created by man.

Exposing the decaying and wretched debauchery of the Elite in a sick and dying universe.

>>16425762

It's practically Big-O, verbatim.

>>16425759
Alright. Also, if you draw this out enough you can have more threads of literal "Space" Marines running about.

Oh god, that sounds delicious.

>>16425722
+++Audio log+++
Hello?... is this thing on?... hmnn...
So i woke up today and it seems that i am on a forgeworld... from 40k... honestly i don't know what the fuck is going on but from what i know about this world i'm likely to be killed soon, either by the imprerium or just about anything else that exists, i managed to find this recorder and decided to record whats going on, so that when i do eneviatably die someone might benifit, as it is im going to see if i can find some people.. this place seems oddly deserted althought i have seen some servitors around...
No-one ever did say just how badly the bloody things stink

>>16425747
(Uh, I guess the Marine commander will be Captain Arthur Franklin, I should have said that before)
"FRANKLIN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I shouted through my vox, "We already have a way in, get back here!"
"Colonel, you have a single way in that's loaded with hostiles. We need to draw them apart."
"No xeno is a match for the Emperor's fury!"
"Well, I don't know what the hell these things are, but they're tough. When you get stupid against tough, tough kills you. Never underestimate your enemy."
In a rage I turned off the vox and severed the head of a Nob. We were making progress, the Orks numbers were no use to them in these confined spaces. We were losing men, but the xenos were paying dearly for each life they took.

At last the green tide began to ebb. Over the Vox I heard Captain Franklin calling me.

"Colonel, we found an old maintenance road. The gate went down to some C4, beginning our assault."
"Acknowledged, Captain. The building you are looking for... well, it has a giant transmitter sticking out of it. Go there."
"Aha, aye aye Colonel." The vox was still active, but the Captain seemed to be addressing his men.
"MARINES, let's kill these alien sons o' bitches. You've all seen Independence Day, right? OORAH."

>>16425697
From the archives of "The Most Regal Inquisitor Helgha Tama" of the Ordo Chronos

Dated: Check 4 099 001.M42

Finally made our way to the are 562 pointed out to us. He was right, it's bigger than most other titans I've seen. The design was sleeker, too, and Wendi tells me she gets the feeling it's flight capable. I'm not one to distrust a psyker, but I wanna see that sometime.

Whatever it was that 563 found, it's big.

>>16406950
Yeah, fighting the Chaos Gods in the warp is an excellent way to exist.

>>16425825 cont
+++Audio log+++
??? Unknown user
Log #2
So i managed to find some people, Skittarri no less... They couldn't understand a damned word i said, ended up having to use pictograms and drawings to convey my meaning, i'm kinda suprised they didn't just shoot me
anyways we are currently headed towards a Forge, they are taking me to some admech guys... at least thats where i think they are taking me...
Emporer Protects...
[End Log #2]

>>16425645
Remember that the American version of the M1A1 is powered by a jet engine, and so is hella fast for a tank. Its unclassified top speed is 67.6 km/h, but it is an open secret that it is MUCH faster than that. And can send three rounds through the same window of a house within seven seconds at 800 meters while moving at that speed over variable terrain. The T-90 and FV4034 Challenger 2 are comparable for those of you more familiar with those.
Modern MBTs, are quite frankly, overpowered for 40k's WW1 and WW2 era tanks. This is probably due to GW making a setting based on cool and not effectiveness however.

>rogue trader
>make money, fuck with everyone
>Hide when real fighting needs to be done
>survive
>???
>profit

>>16425861
[continued]

Sometimes, I wish I could keep the same kind of record he kept. Extremly informal. Leaving it on during conversations. But if the Ordo wants to use these for further investigations, I better keep them clear...

[hiss]

562 goes in first, followed by Guy and Miles. I'm bringing up the rear. I'm looking about... it's so strange. It's ancient, and I mean by several thousand years. Maybe even going back to the Dark Age... Looking at the controls... If they can be called that. It's just seat, and a few handgrips.

[distant laughing]

Hey you two! Don't sit there!

Throne... You'd think I had a class of juvies for a retinue. 562! What does this say here? Hold on...-

I am Captain Arthur Franklin, a solider of the UNITED STATES MARINE CORP. I have sworn to uphold and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Up until yesterday, that meant doing patrols in Baghdad and checking for IEDs. Now, well, these enemies sure as hell are foreign.
The maintenance road was tight, our Strykers just barely fit into it. I took point with a squad of leathernecks backing me up. I figure if I was going to be sending my men into alien hell, I might as well open the door for them.

A couple of the beasts ran at us holding axes- honest to god AXES. It took damn near a full mag to bring one down, but bring em down we did. The gunshots were deafening in the tunnel, and the 50cal on the Stryker was like the thunder of zeus himself.

The Colonel's "Vox-Man" relayed our discovery to the Colonel, then turned on my own mic.
"MARINES, let's kill these alien sons o' bitches. You've all seen Independence Day, right? OORAH."

We pushed forward, clearing out the aliens as they came at us. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel- ha ha. As soon as we made it into the open, we fanned out and dropped behind covering, dropping hostiles in the open and calling out targets for the Strykers as they emerged.

One of the alien RPGS struck the third stryker. It must have hit the ammo, because the whole thing blew apart. There were still six in the tunnel behind, not to mention most of my men. If we couldn't get passed that wreck, we were all going to die.

(taking a smoke break, be back)

>>16425909
>>16425697

Would that make baneblades oversized Abrams?

>>16425940
[continued]
++Local Recording Activated++
562: Here?

Myself: Yes.

562: Faded as fuck... But it says "on"

Myself: Ah. [pause] And beside that? On the seal?

562: It says "Great Seal of the United States of America". Holy shit, Americans built this!

Myself: Americans. That's your people, right?

562: Yes

++Local Recording End++
Looks like 563's journals were right. Americans were building Titans almost 39 millenniums ago.

But how did they know what they were building...?

>>16425889
+++Audio log+++
??? Unknown user
Log #3
Well it appears i was more successfull then i thought, they didn't just take me to some admechs, they took me to a Magos... as it turns out we could Communicate. English is very similar to high Gothic. Anyway, even with the ability to communicate it wasn't going very well as he didn't beleive a word i said... so i showed him my phone, i figured that if the value dark age tech so highly, pre dark age might be worth something... he was.. ecstatic to say the least.

anyway, after he had proof and a promise of knowledge he began co-operating, he has sent a message to inquisition requesting their presence, although the fact i asked for the inquisition scared them, seems that the fear of the ordos are quite real. However the inquisitors are probably the only people who could help me.
[Muffled talking]
ok i have to go, the magos has asked me to start explaining my knowledge of 21st century tech... i work in IT, its unlikely anything i know will be much help but we will see. I still dont think he believes me.

>>16425995
And that's it from me, for now. If anyone wants to tie theirs into this, feel free.

>>16425958
No, Baneblades are too slow. And their shape makes it too easy for a comparably weak AT weapon to take out any of the turrets. There's a reason that modern MBTs are shaped the way they are, its to hopefully deflect any shots that do hit them away. The Baneblade is flat everywhere (except for the armor in front of the treads), which means that anything that hits it will impart ALL of its energy into the structure. There's a reason our MBTs are shaped like they are. This is especially true on the bottom where the M1A1 has a slight V-shape where the Baneblade is flat; meaning that any mine that would have been deflected by the Abrams will be fully taken on by the Baneblade, coupled with its speed, means that the Baneblade is going to feel every shot fired at it.
Also, the Baneblade uses a very visible fueltank, internal combustion engine setup on the rear of the chasis. Making it look like that (A) it should be rear-heavy and thus easy to make preform a wheelie... or tumble over backwards when going upslope and (B) one shot to the rear from most anything except a BBgun (including getting the tanks/engine shorn off by said wheelie) will immobilize the Baneblade making it heavily armored stationary gun position. All of that makes the Baneblade a thing we tankers call a "deathtrap".
Looks cool though.

+++Audio log+++
??? Unknown user
Log #4
well.... i don't know what to say
that magos... well as it turns out... he was..
he was a genstealer cultist.
The greed he was showing was not over the technology, it was the idea of getting a pure human, uneveolved. I don't know what advantage that would give them but i sure as hell know that if they want it i am not going to give it to them
[skittering]
...
[More skittering]
Fuck! they found me
[End Log]

>>16426137
Sorry about the readability, just coming off a 24 hr shift.

>>16426151
That's fine, I found your post informative and reasonably easy to read.

>>16425957
The Forty Second pushed through the open gate, taking advantage of the reduced orks. We burned them from their holes with flamers, cracked open their vehicles with meltas, tore them apart with our lasguns.
The Relay was in sight at the end of an avenue choked with rubble. Our techpriests got to work opening the gate, allowing our Chimeras and the Marines' tanks to enter the battle. Two Chimeras equipped with dozer blades went first, clearing the path for those behind.
"Colonel, colonel do you read me?" Franklin's voice came crackling over the com.
"Go ahead Captain."
"We're pinned at the maintenance road, we need support! We're gettin murdered out here!"
"Copy that, Captain. I'm sending some men your way. May the Emperor protect you."
"Err, yes, you too Colonel."

My reinforcements were making better time than I had imagined. The push to the relay had been thorough. Clear of Ork resistance, they were just now joining up. I sent the entire fifth company and four Chimeras east to relieve Franklin's marines.

The Teegian rifles cleared the buildings alongside the avenue as the armour pressed towards the Relay. I watched from atop my command Chimera as one of my outriding Sentinals was obliterated by a massive cannon. Thunder rolled in the distance, then again. No, it was too regular to be thunder.

"This is Colonel Guyus to all Teegian Rifles. We have made contact with a Gargant. Repeat- GARGANT"

>>16426199 Thanks
A little story demonstrating what I'm talking about:
We got stuck in (pic related, not us though.) and tried to haul our Abrams out of the muck using another one first. The cables snapped. Then we radioed in a ARV- an M88 if you're intrested. They tried, nothing happened. One of the ARV guys yells "FUCK IT ALL" and sticks a small brick under our tank after scooping out a hole for it. He then runs away yelling "FIRE IN THE HOLE" while some wire looking thing is trailing behind him. Before I could ask what's going on, a loud boom knocks me on my ass and mud starts raining down on us. Motherfucker used a block of C4 to try and jar us loose. It didn't work, we were still stuck, and now our paint was chipped.
We eventually got out using FIVE blocks of C4 under our tank at once and with only superficial damage

+++Audio log+++
??? Unknown user
Log #5
Well.. ha.. it was a good run
They caught me, although i gave them hell with the melta i found... i'm dieing, i know it, they know it. so I'm setting up two things before i do, a Broadcaster to send these logs throughout the system, even after im dead and this place is burnt to hell the records will still be here. the other thing is i am rigging an incinerator. I can't let those tyranid bastards get away with so much as a drop of my blood, and seing as how much of my blood is spread out over this facility i see no option but to incinerate everything...

In the name of the Emperor. Let none Survive
[End Final Log]

Inquisitors Notes: Audio logs were found buried in the Systems of a Adeptus Forge that suffered a catastrophic failure resulting in the forge collapsing.

The contents of the logs are highly Confidential, as it concerns possible actions of the Ordo Chronos regarding a pre Dark age Human and the possible presence of a Tyranid Threat.
it should be mentioned that the technology refered to by the Individual was recovered and is currently under observation by Tech Priests.

>>16417220
Let me go through your post, bit by bit, till we find something that will get you killed;

>on mars, go to the admech tell them when i come from and that i have knowledge of science

Blam. Filthy heretic.

>Where would you'd like to end up
Black hole.
>how would you survive
Why would I want to do that?

My marines were getting chewed apart by the heavy slugs thrown by the enemy guns, and one of two Strykers that had made it into the open was wrecked, its crew sheltered against some rubble, firing weapons retrieved from fallen comrades.
"Captain Franklin, this is Captain Mattius of the 5th Company. I hear you have an ork problem?"
"Roger that, Mattius, those buildings are going to be the death of us."
"Right-o, Captain Franklin. ALL GUARDSMEN FOLLOW ME TO GLORY!"

From a minor road, Guyus; reinforcements arrived. They charged headlong at the building, bayonets fixed and firing from the hip.

"Christ you fucks, what are you doing?!" I shouted at them, but they ignored me. I ducked back behind cover as a hail of bullets chopped over my head
"A bayonet charge... a fucking bayonet charge... DOES THAT ONE HAVE A SWORD?"
The Guardsmen stormed into the buildings, gunfire and flames punching out windows. I marked their progress by the windows where Ork gunners ceased their barrage. They finally reached the top it seemed, and the buildings were silent.
The ground was littered with the dead and dying. I sent my corpsmen out to do what they could for them. One of those APCs- my men had started to call them laser trucks- pullled the wreckage of the Stryker out of the tunnel, freeing the men trapped inside.
I called my platoon leaders forward to take stock. Of the thirty men who made it into the open, 18 were dead. I had lost two of my Strykers, with a third heavily damaged. I didn't see getting reinforcements any time soon, and every life counted even under the best of circumstances.
Captain Mattius had survived the charge, and sauntered over to me, clearly proud of himself.
"The hell were you thinking, a charge against a fortified enemy?"
"Life is the Emperor's currency, Captain, spend it well."
I punched him in the face and knocked him to the ground before two of my men grabbed me. Mattius's men aimed their rifles.

>>16426335
Hah, that's pretty fucking awesome.

I think the Abrams would do nicely in 40k. Every new thing I hear about them sounds more kickass than the last.

>>16426419
Damn I fucking love this.

>>16426419
I suppose I had seen bigger Gargants. I was later told this one qualified as a "super-stompa". Names didn't matter then. The guns on that xenos filth mattered. Multilasers fired, chipping away at the armor of the Ork beast. The main gun fired again, punching clean through a Chimera, showering the road with metal and human debris.
I picked up some vox-transmissions between the crews of the Marines:
"Hey, Paul, remember that part in Halo... when you fight the whatdoya call it... Scarab?"
"Yeah?"
"AIM FOR THE LEG, MOTHERFUCKAH"
The Marine tanks began to fire, aiming for one of the Gargant's legs. Shell after shell pounded into the Gargant, smashing apart gears and ripping through the superstructure. The Gargant took another step and pitched forward, smashing on the street. It blew apart, Orks spilling out from the interior. The tanks rolled forward with Foreign Relations spearheading. Gunners popped out of hatches on the top, training their heavy stubbers on the fleeing greenskins.

"Colonel the road should be clear, shall we advance?"

I didn't know what to say, I was stunned at the cavalier attitude of these newcomers.

"Excuse me, Colonel?"
"Yes, advance, onward for the Glory of the Emperor!"

>>16426445
Heh, yeah. The only thing we have to worry about is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Explosively_formed_penetrator
One of those can take out any armored vehicle in one shot. And all you need is a coffee can and a copper plate to make one.

+++AUDIO LOG+++

Date: 205.12.666.M41
Recorder: Lord Avrius, Planetary Governor of Revic, loyal servant of The Imperium.

///ENTRYSTART///

I have found...something. Someone, to be precise though his status as a Man is yet to be confirmed. He is quite clearly out of his mind, speaking in some tongue that I could not recognize. I found him sitting in the middle of a field on my home, craning his head this way and that, as if unsure whether to move. I called to him, and this apparently surprised him enough to force him to his feet. He wore a very peculiar garb of white robe (stained slightly) with a red sash overlaid upon it, and his head were bald as though he were an old man. He extended his hand apparently in greeting as I drew nearer and spoke...something. His language is beyond me, yet there is something familiar about it, a syllable here, a rolling of the tongue or lips there, specific things which I could pluck out of the garbage as recognizable. He lacks fever and does not babble though he is quite confused as to where he is, and as my conscience dictates I have decided to keep him at my residence to ascertain his danger more clearly.

///ENTRYEND///

>>16426419
Mattius stood back up, drawing his sword.
"You have made a grave mistake, newcomer."
"Put that toy away and open your fucking eyes." My hand fell toward my sidearm, but I resisted the urge to pull it out.
"My eyes are open to the glory of the Emperor, Captain, what else do I need to see?"
"THAT, YOU DENSE CUNT, THAT!" I pointed at the heap of his dead and the triage station my corpsmen had set up. "You had the advantage of surprise and armour, and you choose to run at them with bayonets? What is wrong with you?!"
"My tactics are based on the Lord Militant of the Imperial Guard, questioning them is heresy!"
"Heresy? Are you living in the dark ages? Soldiers fight wars, you can't do that if you get shot up listening to this bronze age bullshit!"
The vox crackled ""This is Colonel Guyus to all Teegian Rifles. We have made contact with a Gargant. Repeat- GARGANT"
Mattius stood up straighter.
"We will resolve this later, Captain, now we must return to the battle at hand. Men, assemble, we go to battle in the name of our Father on Terra."

I shook my head and stood back, turning to my marines.
"Alright men, mount up, let's follow these lunatics."

Well, I finished my archives. Some posts have been omitted to keep the feel of the story intact, (The USA crossovers, while well written and interesting aren't in the same vein as the others, for example.)

Should any of you wish it, I'm willing to set up a thread for the story elements only. That thread will still allow for additions as well.

Dude writing about the marines and the orks, do please put your story up on 1d4chan or some shit. I'm heading to sleep and would like to read the rest later.

I'd come up in the Throneroom. I'd just sit there, cross legged and utterly immobile/nonthreatening. The Custodes, realizing that this is somehow someone the Emperor has summoned, make me into one of their own. I go on to lead the Imperium out of the grimdarkness it has been in since the Horus Heresy, the Emperor reincarnates at some point during my crusade and humanity wins.

>>16402139
I end up in a paradise world in the ultramarine sector, if not I kill myself because it's honestly not worth living in 40k if you are anywhere else

>>16426687
The Relay was protected by a second gate. The techpriests urged me to stop and open it properly, but my fullspeed Chimera opened it just fine. The Orks were reduced, but there was still several hundred holed up in the Relay complex. We poured from our Chimeras, meeting the Orks in glorious combat.
Power sword in hand, I hacked a path toward the entrance. My men followed behind, many falling to Ork sluggas and choppas, more making it to the door.
"Colonel, this is Captain Franklin, we're heading to the Relay, ETA 10 minutes."
"Copy that Captain, Emperor Protects!"
"Sure."
The entirety of my Regiment pressed into the Relay, matching the Orks in number. The control room had to be above me, somewhere. A mob of Nobs threw themselves at us, chopping apart my men like they weren't even there. I ended up calling up my meltagunners to slice through the Nobs, and even then it took terrifyingly long.
"OI, WAT ARE YOU GITZ DOIN IN ME TALKIN HOUSE? GIT OUT YOU HUMIE RUNTS!"
Stomping down the steps, ten feet tell and covered in armour bolted to his foul flesh, came the Warboss. He fired the cannon wired into his hand, blowing apart the men next to me and showering their blood on me. Wiping gore from my eyes, I raised my sword and charged him:
"XENO SCUM, I AM YOUR DEATH"

>>16426819
I'm going to stop, I'll copy it to a work document, edit it, and post it when I'm done.

Mostly because I don't know how to 1d4chan

>>16426945
ALSO- comments, criticism? I used to write all the time, I'm trying to get back into it

>>16426989
Your story is ballin' so far.

I like the brisk pace.

>>16426989
It's not quite as good as the Inquisitor With No Name's stuff but it's better than the rest. I'm not sure if that has to do with a lack of characterization or if there's something else holding it back. It's not as deep into the characters but that doesn't mean that it HAS to do that to be good. Still, getting a feel for a character(s) is good.

>>16427034 here, >>16426612 is decent as well if you want another comparison, I wouldn't mind seeing more of this though it is a tad bit overflowery (unlike yours which is more brisk).

>>16427034
Yeah, that tends to happen when I make stuff up on the fly. I'm going to edit it when I have some time off work.

Anything else?

>>16427081
A couple adjectives couldn't hurt. Not too many though. We don't want this to be Twilight.

I would be teleported to the Black Library in just my underwear and my bathrobe. It would be a glorius death, I imagine that the Eldars would be almost as shocked as I would be.

>>16426989
Pretty much this
>>16427127
And I see you've taken my advice and gone into detail, which is good. You're at a good pace right now. Maybe some more detail about some of the close quarters fighting. Also, a flashback or a setup to this situation may be good at some point.

Someone get the marine story onto 1d4chan, please.

>>16424189
(cont)

I don't know where to start. The days has all run together after I was taken away from the temple, and I know by whom I was taken. Not many organisations in the Empire of Man uses the =I= for a symbol... Since then, for...I don't really know how long, been subject to interogations. Not...severe interogation...but firm. Thankfully my gothic has improved so I managed to ask for some paper and pen so I could keep one fragment of sanity here for me. Other than the Inquisitor talking to me about where I came from...which was a "fun" part. Appears that I am not the only one in my predicament after the inquisitor made a slip of his tongue. Could be usefull to know. Also, the AdMech running the ship has loved talking to me, very intrigued by both my native language, but more interrested in english. However, after each time me and the AdMech talks...I feel dirty, all his stuff in him, is he even human?