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  • File : 1315183111.jpg-(7 KB, 180x180, Heresy_Stamp.jpg)
    7 KB HERETIC Quest 5: No one heretic should have all this power Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)20:38 No.16183499  
    You are a heretic. The best in the business. Someone to be respected and feared. An Alpha-Plus-level Ginger Heretek, and one of the greatest pirates in the galaxy. Worlds burn at your whim, and women and men of all species climax with just a single glance.

    You've just succeeded in reinvigorating your relationship with your first officer, an Eldar Ranger-turned-pirate by the name of Selena. Previously, you were in the midst of conquering the Tau military planet of An'raal, crushing its capital city using only the power of your awesomeness.

    You're currently aboard Mork's Klaw, the flagship of your pirate fleet. You had looted the Klaw from the Eldar near the very beginning of your career, when you were serving as a technician for a group of Chaos Orks. Now, you're the most feared person in Tau space, having begun the rebellion against the Greater Good, and having taken over several powerful star systems.

    You also allegedly destroyed a Tau planet, though in reality that was just some terrorists.

    It is 7am, WAAAGH! in the month of WAAAGH!, in the year of the WAAAGH! Selena is fast asleep in your chair on the bridge, half her clothing missing. You're in the midst of negotiating with the Tau below on the planet of An'raal for troops, convincing them to join your cause and become PIRATES!

    Previous threads:
    >http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16084053/
    >http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16090095/
    >http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16103572/
    >http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16170233/

    What the fuck do?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:47 No.16183622
    rolled 82 = 82

    See a doctor to make sure we're in perfect health.

    Then go beat up some Orks to reassert our dominance, and check on the fleet around Tch'tal to make sure they're doing alright.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:47 No.16183624
    rolled 42 = 42

    >>16183499
    Have ships start salvaging the fleet that had been defending the planet.

    Ask Selena "Wat Do" about the dark Eldar.

    Not like they'd be particularly useful as crew, or slaves, and simply spacing them seems a waste.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:51 No.16183673
    rolled 26 = 26

    find the tau homeworld and destroy it.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:53 No.16183693
    rolled 45 = 45

    More heresy? More heresy!

    Let's go raid some Dark Eldar outposts. I know we know where some are, we got a natural 100 on our torture of the Dark Eldar.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:54 No.16183706
    rolled 76 = 76

    >>16183624
    Bubbles!
    She is Bubbles and she will be our dully appointed second in command and loyal sycophant whatever may happen, come hell or high water!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:54 No.16183707
    rolled 23 = 23

    give a call to Khorne, be nice to him or something because he will probably be angry about what just happened.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)20:58 No.16183748
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16183499
    Make a call to Isha, ask her what the hell Nurgle decided to infect you with.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:01 No.16183783
         File1315184504.jpg-(45 KB, 354x450, Lazy Town pirates_01.jpg)
    45 KB
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16183499
    >and become PIRATES!

    Force all newly joined Tau to dress like that girl from lazy town for their first month. Why?
    BECUASE YOU ARE A PIRATE. NOW QUIT MUCKIN ABOUT!
    >> Thedoorman Gaurdian of the Harlequin !JoKer6oE5o 09/04/11(Sun)21:04 No.16183822
    rolled 92 = 92

    go punch a etheral in the face and tell him to give you control of his army. lol chaos tau
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)21:05 No.16183836
    >>16183622
    Finishing the negotiations with the Tau below, you leave the bridge, first glaring at an Ork drawing on your first officer until he stabs himself in the face with his marker. Nodding with approval, you make your way to the medical bay, voxing ahead for the doctors on call to ready themselves to examine you. Entering the medical bay within five minutes, you sit down on a waiting bench, those around you giving you a wide berth out of fear and admiration simultaneously.

    After half an hour of reading the same Tau magazine over and over, an Ork Painboy leads you into an examination room, an Eldar doctor entering behind him. She sniffs, and dismissed the Painboy, grabbing a needle from a box and attaching it to a syringe.

    "Well well well. The captain finally comes down for a medical exam. Wonderful. I can't tell you how many patients I have to treat every day because of your bullshit. Now hold still, this'll only hurt a lot."

    Grinning, the Eldar doctor slowly pulls blood into the syringe through your arm, swirling it around in the vial and looking at it closely. Leaving you to wait some more, the doctor returns an hour later with a chart and a Tau assistant.

    "Congratulations, you have cancer."
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:05 No.16183839
    rolled 10 = 10

    >>16183783
    We totally have to sing that song together with ALL THE ORKZ now to celebrate our latest victory!
    Everyone else has to join too, but they won't enjoy it as much.
    >> Thedoorman Gaurdian of the Harlequin !JoKer6oE5o 09/04/11(Sun)21:07 No.16183858
    rolled 96 = 96

    >>16183836
    first off have a good laugh and then talk to father nurgle about this, then: >>16183822
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:08 No.16183861
    >>16183836

    DAMMIT NURGLE I THOUGHT WE WHERE BRO'S

    no matter, use the warp to will the cancer out of us
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:08 No.16183865
    rolled 53 = 53

    >>16183836
    Ahh, is that all? I was worried about Nurgle dickery.

    Perhaps I shall shape its growth into a new set of kidneys, for 4 times the adrenal output, and extra blood filtration.
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 09/04/11(Sun)21:08 No.16183866
    >>16183836

    Disregard cancer, acquire PIRATES.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:08 No.16183868
    rolled 35 = 35

    Take the cancer out of us and give it to the doctor.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:08 No.16183874
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16183836
    What the fuck?
    Fucking cancer. Reshape our body with psychic powers? Failing that, cut out the cancerous parts, if it hasn't spread too much yet, and replace them with mechanical parts. BUT I STILL NEED TO BE ABLE TO DO DICKINGS!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:08 No.16183876
    rolled 97 = 97

    >>16183861

    derp
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:10 No.16183888
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16183836
    ಠ_ಠ
    "And you need a hot beef injection."
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:10 No.16183895
    rolled 46 = 46

    >>16183836

    speak with Nurgle about that, we carved a fucking moon for him
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:13 No.16183938
    rolled 45 = 45

    >>16183836
    Give her cancer.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:13 No.16183946
         File1315185212.png-(989 KB, 1600x1200, saya.png)
    989 KB
    rolled 70 = 70

    >>16183836
    Use our powers to summon a benign creature from a dimension even more horrible than the warp.

    Ladies and Orks, behold the girl from the double warp.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:13 No.16183952
    rolled 75 = 75

    no audience you are the cancer
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:15 No.16183971
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16183836

    that Doctor is being quite disrespectful, seduce her but let's not fuck her, let her know she can never have us
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:15 No.16183976
    rolled 100 = 100

    >>16183946

    Nurgle is probably a total bro with Saya

    Also give cancer to the doctor
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:17 No.16184001
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16183976
    And then promptly remove it. Because
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:17 No.16184004
    >>16183976

    AWW YEAH

    BRACE FOR IMPACT
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:18 No.16184011
    rolled 58 = 58

    rolling to end the dickings and focus on becoming more powerful.

    also it might be time to have a word with Papa Nurgle.

    We need to figure out what kind of cancer it is, shit could be benign and not even a problem. If it turns out to be malignant, psyker that sit out of our body through force of will
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)21:22 No.16184062
    You guys are luck I didn't see that 1 before it got deleted. Next time I'll just use it for whatever I think it should be for.

    >>16183876
    Fuck cancer, you've got warp powers! Staring at the chart the Eldar doctor hands you, you soon locate the tumors through the Warp, feeling around your biology using your mind.Soon enough, you've located the tumors. Grasping them with your hand, you pull them through your flesh like in that old video you once saw about the archeologist back on Terra.

    Burning the cancerous cells in your hand, the ball of plasma resulting dissipates into the air, the smell of ash filling the room. Realizing some of the cancer might be in your bloodstream, you clench your fists and light your blood on fire for but a moment, incinerating any cells not normally a part of your blood stream. You cough up a small amount of your now acidic blood as you do so, the substance eating through the chair before evaporating.

    The Eldar doctor, confused as to what you've just done, raises her eyebrows in astonishment as you explain what has just occurred.

    "That's fucking retarded, you can't cure cancer with the warp, mon-keigh."

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:25 No.16184091
         File1315185909.png-(6 KB, 400x400, I hate the Internet.png)
    6 KB
    rolled 77 = 77

    >>16184062
    Nat 100 here:
    >>16183976
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)21:25 No.16184093
    >>16183976
    God dammit.

    Slapping the doctor in the face with your best pimp hand, you infuse her cells with cancer, and inform her of what you've done.

    "I...you...what? Please, no!"

    You kick her in the face and leave the medbay, her cries of anguish bringing a smile to your sadistic face.
    >> noko+dice+1d100 Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:26 No.16184107
    >>16184062
    No one calls us monkey. And one can obviously cure cancer with the warp. Give him a good old-fashioned gut punch, and tell him to cure more, insult less.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:26 No.16184109
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16184093
    Let her stew for a few days, then remind her that cancer isn't fatal anymore. It's the year 410000 ffs.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:27 No.16184118
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16184093
    Ha! Stupid bitch.

    When she inevitably comes to us begging us to cure her, punch her in the face again and tell her it's her punishment for being insubordinate.

    We're the goddamn mega-pimp, you don't disrespect us.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:27 No.16184119
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16184093
    Make sure the cancer all goes to her boobs, keeping them perfectly even, and firm, just ever growing.

    And if she has surgery to remove said boobs, she'll just grow new ones.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:27 No.16184121
    >>16184107
    durr, disregard me, brain not work
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:27 No.16184124
    rolled 24 = 24

    Turn the eldar doctor into a servitor. smartass.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:28 No.16184134
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16184062
    "Of all you've seen me do, this is what you question?"
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:28 No.16184136
    rolled 50 = 50

    >>16184109
    >implying all the medical knowledge of the past 40,000 years hasn't been lost to the Eldar because of Slaanesh

    Oh you.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:30 No.16184160
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16184093
    So... do we still have cancer then?
    If so, we seriously need to have a talk with Nurgle. STAT!
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)21:30 No.16184165
    >>16184109
    It's not just regular cancer though.

    It's Super-Cancer.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:31 No.16184180
    rolled 69 = 69

    >>16184136
    Hah, she'll have to be cured by a mon-keigh. Even better.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:32 No.16184193
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16184165
    Ensure she doesn't die from it, when she comes begging for relief from the cancer remind her of why it's bad to be insubordinate to an alpha plus level psyker and then cure her.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:32 No.16184204
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16184165
    Alright, IF we still have super-cancer...
    Clone ourselves a new body. Transfer mind into new body. No more cancer.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:33 No.16184212
    rolled 30 = 30

    super-cancer you say ?

    ask nurgle wtf is that and how to get rid of it.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:33 No.16184213
    >doctor tells you that you've got cancer
    advicehereticquest.jpg
    >give her Super-Cancer
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:36 No.16184248
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16184165
    Ask Nurgle if we can borrow Isha for a few days. We get a healthy crew and his waifu gets a few days off.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:40 No.16184289
    rolled 28 = 28

    >>16184165
    Have a chat with Khorne, see what's up.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:40 No.16184290
    rolled 10 = 10

    Cure doctor's cancer with your Hyper Dakka.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:42 No.16184324
         File1315186969.jpg-(541 KB, 619x867, Nurgle.jpg)
    541 KB
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16184165

    Beseech Nurgle for his blessings then.

    If we're going to get down with the sickness, might as well go all the way.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:45 No.16184352
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>16184324
    Seconding this, fuck yeah lets be a plague marine
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/04/11(Sun)21:45 No.16184355
         File1315187120.jpg-(1.48 MB, 1337x1528, Corrupt the righteous.jpg)
    1.48 MB
    >>16184289

    NOTHING MUCH, SOME DICK DECIDED HE DIDN'T LIKE HOW I OPERATED AND PITCHED A BITCH FIT.

    'S ALL COOL THOUGH. I'M KICKIN IT WITH SLANNESH TONIGHT.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:46 No.16184367
         File1315187189.jpg-(395 KB, 1200x882, 1311916278715.jpg)
    395 KB
    rolled 43 = 43

    >>16184324
    Buboes, phlegm, blood and guts! Boils, bogeys, rot and pus! Blisters, fevers, weeping sores! From our wounds the fester pours.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)21:48 No.16184386
    >>16184180
    Leaving to beat up some Orks, you spend a couple hours in the lower levels of the ship, krumping gits for shits and giggles. Beating scores of Nobs into comas with your bare hands, augmented by your psychic powers, you soon enough become bored with demonstrating your power, and return to the deck. Bubbles is still passed out in your chair, so you use her terminal to call out to Tch'tal. Contacting them, you demand a status update, and receive out post haste.

    It seems that they've been fighting a very bloody conflict with the Tau empire, which has been trying to reclaim their territory. The Tau rebels have been helping out, and in fact account for almost all the casualties on your side. Your ships are much more suited for war than those of the Tau empire, upgraded as they are with technology from all races.

    Acknowledging the transmission, you lean back in your chair and smile, looking out of the command center to the stars, the viewscreen above you displaying many constellations, some of which-

    The Eldar doctor from before suddenly falls through the door, thrown by your Sororitas bodyguards. One of them drags the Eldar to her feet by her hair, and brings her to you.

    "My lord, this... Eldar demands to speak with you."

    Waving at the doctor to speak, she spits out an angry demand for you to cure her, calling you names which it's best are never repeated in polite company. For her troubles, the Sororitas gives the doctor a boot to the head.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:50 No.16184415
    rolled 21 = 21

    >>16184386
    Use the warp to skin her alive.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:50 No.16184416
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16184386
    Thumbs up for the sororita.
    "Lady, I like your style."
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:51 No.16184429
    rolled 21 = 21

    '>>16184386
    Have her 'cured' by combining her with CybOrk.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:53 No.16184432
    rolled 75 = 75

    >>16184386
    Shrug. "Sure, you can be cured... if you promise to put the damn insubordination to rest. Promise you'll play nice with me from now on, and I'll cure you." Wait to see if she swears to play nice, then cure her.

    If not... "Sucks to be you. See if there's anyone lonely on this ship who wants a new pet."
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:53 No.16184434
    rolled 91 = 91

    >>16184386

    "say please"
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:53 No.16184435
    >>16184386
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:53 No.16184438
         File1315187596.jpg-(861 KB, 577x900, Hero_of_Chaos.jpg)
    861 KB
    rolled 8 = 8

    >>16184386

    Ask Nurgle to cure her.

    And by cure, I mean infest with whatever he wants.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:53 No.16184439
    rolled 58 = 58

    >>16184386
    Admonish her for her poor manners. Make her beg.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:53 No.16184456
    rolled 61 = 61

    >>16184386

    Have her cured by combining her with CybOrk
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:54 No.16184460
         File1315187652.jpg-(15 KB, 464x348, fullsize_22.jpg)
    15 KB
    rolled 75 = 75

    >>16184386
    Heal the Eldar.
    .
    .
    .
    While slightly molesting her.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:54 No.16184464
    rolled 93 = 93

    >>16184386
    Hmmm... I thought you'd have learned manners, and if you had but asked politely I would have cured you.

    You may try again, but if you are not properly humble I'll send you away.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:55 No.16184478
    rolled 70 = 70

    No, nonononono...

    Use the warp to accelerate the cancer to the point that she just becomes a massive blob of cancer tissue.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:55 No.16184491
         File1315187736.png-(17 KB, 241x230, 1269965379143.png)
    17 KB
    >>16184460


    There's one in every thread eh?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:56 No.16184506
    rolled 66 = 66

    Heal her.
    Then send her through the air lock.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)21:57 No.16184517
    >>16184460
    Void Quest:
    >Gently bump the planet

    Heresy Quest:
    >Slightly molest the Eldar

    I love /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:00 No.16184560
    rolled 36 = 36

    Heal the cancer, then use the warp to manipulate her brain so that she's unbearably horny, all the time.

    Then forbid ANYONE to touch her, under penalty of being turned inside-out
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:01 No.16184573
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16184560
    This, for great lolz

    Psychic Troll Quest: The Trolling
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:04 No.16184589
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16184386
    Heal her, but punish her by setting up space 4chan and making her a mod.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:05 No.16184608
    rolled 96 = 96

    >>16184560
    This, but only if she says "please".
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:08 No.16184652
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16184386

    Use the warp to manipulate her mind to make her always get unbearably aroused when around you and...
    Heal her if she says please.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:10 No.16184666
    rolled 57 = 57

    >>16184652
    Stop samefagging or he'll disregard your post, watch.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:11 No.16184682
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16184666

    Now honestly, not samefagging.
    I actually posted and then read what was posted before me and laughed my ass off.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/04/11(Sun)22:13 No.16184716
         File1315188819.jpg-(2 KB, 150x150, 1314912197430.jpg)
    2 KB
    >>16184652
    >>16184460

    WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLING THINGS, INSTEAD WE ARE STUCK WITH THESE VIRGINS.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)22:13 No.16184719
    >>16184608
    You guys are dicks.
    >>16184464
    >>16184434
    Mocking the Eldar, you take a few minutes to revel in your cruelty, before turning your attention back to the Eldar, currently held up by her hair by one of your bodyguards. Telling the Sororitas to cease her beating, you inform the Eldar that you don't like insubordination. Ordering the Eldar to ask you politely and humbly, you wait for a moment, as the doctor struggles to find the words to express herself.

    Several more minutes pass, and you're about to send the doctor away, when she speaks up. On her hands and knees, the Eldar begs you to cure her of her affliction, apologizing profusely for her insults in the past. Accepting her apology, you place your hand on her head and begin.

    Through the power of the Warp, do you twist her body, the very affliction you forced upon it burning into cinders and dissolving into nutrients and organic compounds. Forcing the poison through her system, you filter it out, while also altering her brain chemistry. Activating certain parts of her nervous system, and rewiring them to affect her libido, amongst other things, you release the Eldar from your grasp, the places your fingers were digging into her head bleeding slightly.

    Taking a breath, you enjoy the fresh air for a moment, as the Eldar struggles to stand. The female squinting in the bright light of the bridge, you announce to the crew that any sexual relations with Medical Officer Kytos are now forbidden on pain of having their body turned inside out and thrown out the airlock. The Eldar seems to be confused by this, her mind still adjusting, even while your SoB bodyguards drag her off the bridge.

    You find this whole thing hilarious.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:14 No.16184729
    rolled 66 = 66

    >>16184716
    /tg/ is full of sexual deviants, this is what you should expect.

    It's really pathetic, actually.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:16 No.16184741
    rolled 40 = 40

    >>16184719

    Toy with said doctor until she cant stand it?
    Have a threesome?
    Go eat a sandwhich?
    I dunno.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:16 No.16184756
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16184719
    Send a bouquet of skulls to every of the 36 khornettes.

    See what our techpriests are up to.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:17 No.16184761
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>16184719
    Wake up bubbles, she's in our chair.

    Drink some delicious expensive alcohol, and proclaim "it's god to be the king"

    Begin salvage operations on the fleet.

    Ask Selena "what do" about the dark eldar.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:17 No.16184763
    >>16184719
    nat 100 give her cancer.
    we cure her.

    the fuck is wrong with you peoples
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/04/11(Sun)22:17 No.16184766
         File1315189039.jpg-(93 KB, 600x868, possessed_marine.jpg)
    93 KB
    >>16184729


    I EXPECTED BETTER, I TRIED TO GET THINGS ON TRACK AND HERETICAL WITH MY WHOLE BLOOD GOD THING BUT I SUSPECT THE DM IS ONE OF THOSE WHO LIKE THIS WAIFU SHIT.

    OH WELL.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:18 No.16184779
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16184719

    Sort own cancer out by transferring it through a kick to the crotch of a Tau.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:18 No.16184786
    rolled 80 = 80

    There's something that hasn't happened in this quest yet.

    We've yet to have sex with a planet. I'd like to change that.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:18 No.16184788
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>16184719
    Go get some actual goddamn work done. Streamline the Tau planetary governments you control, set up public services while also encouraging private ventures, and begin researching Tau Battlesuits made of Wraithbone, powered by ambient energy, and capable of flight.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:19 No.16184793
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16184766
    your shit is just plain boring

    and "heresy" != "chaos"
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:19 No.16184798
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16184756
    >>16184761
    >>16184788
    This.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:20 No.16184805
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>16184719
    Let's try to contact Gork, Mork and the Tyranid Hivemind.
    Because we can.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:20 No.16184814
    rolled 29 = 29

    throw the entire Tau race into a star using the warp
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:20 No.16184819
    rolled 85 = 85

    >>16184719
    Travel back to Tch'tal, and consolidate your hold on the planet. Attempt to spare the enemy ships themselves, while killing the crew.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:20 No.16184823
         File1315189256.png-(231 KB, 400x333, 1314501048335.png)
    231 KB
    >>16184786

    That might just be crazy enough to work....
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)22:21 No.16184827
    >>16184766
    Man, I just go with the highest roll, no matter how fucktarded.

    The only thing I don't stand for is samefagging to flood the quest with the same action. And even that I'll tolerate in small amounts.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:21 No.16184828
    >>16184719
    Hey man, I'm all noblebright, all the time. But if this guy has been such a dick lately it'd be out of character to suddenly have him do a selfless act.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:21 No.16184841
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>16184805
    There we go, something interesting to talk to, chaos gods are all just "do want we want or we'll kill you, and even if you do do what e want we're going to betray you anyways"
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:22 No.16184847
    >>16184756
    >>16184819
    This. Make sure to send to Khornettes flowers while in the Webway, just to be sure they get them, and they don't get us.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:22 No.16184852
    rolled 70 = 70

    How about stop being so sex crazed?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:22 No.16184855
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16184847
    Dice.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:23 No.16184863
    rolled 33 = 33

    What good is a doctor that can't do her job? None at all, I says. Sort her out, and then fight the Tau.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:24 No.16184886
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>16184847

    and tell Khorne that his Khornettes are quite lovely and beutiful ladies, see how he reacts
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:25 No.16184898
    rolled 29 = 29

    Attempt to start a religion on the planet you're currently at, having them worship you as a god.

    Have them call you... "Emperor", out of mockery of the Imperium.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:25 No.16184908
    rolled 56 = 56

    >>16184805
    I am with this guy
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:26 No.16184914
    rolled 48 = 48

    >>16184719
    Yeah, let's take care of Tch'tal, then Commoragh.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:27 No.16184925
    rolled 75 = 75

    >>16184886
    >>16184847

    rollan to be polite to Khorn
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:27 No.16184933
    >>16184898
    Are you TRYING to bring the imperial fist down upon our face?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:28 No.16184938
    >>16184933

    we are a Alpha class Ginger and we aren't afraid of anything
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:29 No.16184954
    >It is 7am,

    I thought the Orks fixed our clock.
    >> samefaggan, ignore this roll 09/04/11(Sun)22:30 No.16184973
    rolled 67 = 67

    >>16184933
    The "Imperial fist"? WE ARE A GOD!

    WHAT HAVE WE TO WORRY ABOUT WHEN WE CAN RUIN ENTIRE FLEETS WITH OUR MIND?!?

    THIS ENTIRE GALAXY WILL BEND UNDER MY--I MEAN "OUR" WILL!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:31 No.16184988
    >>16184933

    HEY!
    WHY DONT WE ATTRACT THEM!
    AND THEN I DUNNO!

    Use the warp to corrupt said marines and have our own private army of SPESS MARHEENS
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:33 No.16185015
    rolled 35 = 35

    Let's do some public works, start up a couple charities benefiting the many families that have lost someone in these terrible wars.

    :3
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)22:34 No.16185024
    >>16184819
    >>16184925
    Ordering several of your ships to begin returning the Tch'tal, those that have already refueled begin to do so, one at a time, until 14 of them have left. Having the remaining ships stay to guard your holdings in this region of space, you tell them to do whatever they do in your name, so as the ensure that anyone they conquer is your servant instead of theirs.

    With most of your bridge staff returned, you spin around on the axis of Bubble's chair, the rotating seat being quite fascinating. Calling out your destination over your first officer's snoring, you tell the bridge crew to engage the Webway Interface at once. Light warping over the bow of Mork's Klaw, you enter the Webway with a bang, maneuvering through its infinite hallways with ease.

    Hanging out on the bridge for the next couple hours, you reach out into the Warp with your mind and begin searching for those Khornettes you met before. Sending a bouquet of flowers and skulls to each of the 36 Daemons, you compliment Khorne on his lovely and respectable ladies, to which he replies "FUCK YOU, THEY'RE FUCKING WHORES AND YOU'RE A FAGGOT."

    Taking his comment with a grain of salt, you receive a mental letter from each of the Khornettes soon enough, each one a love letter carefully edited to seem insulting and angry. Mostly it's just saying how much they hate how sexy you are, and how much they dislike how good you make them feel. With more cursing, of course.

    Emerging from the Webway, the ship suddenly slows as a rogue asteroid passes before the bow, your feet slipping slightly towards the front of the bridge but otherwise retaining their hold on the ground. Selena yawns and stretches out, looking around.

    "Did we just go somewhere? I was asleep, what time is it?"
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:34 No.16185030
    >>16184988
    They'll send the Grey Knights after us.

    That's NEVER good
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:35 No.16185035
    rolled 54 = 54

    >>16185015

    You know what, that's a good idea. Let's keep everyone on their toes.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)22:35 No.16185036
    >>16184954
    They had to remove all the WAAAGH! stickers so they could use them on your calender.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:36 No.16185064
    >>16185030

    SHIT!
    You are right!
    They will kill all of our Soritas! THEY SHALL NOT TAKE OUR SEX SLA- Errrr proud female warriors away from us!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:36 No.16185065
    rolled 81 = 81

    >>16185035
    No it isn't I was joking!

    Please dont do this heresy.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:37 No.16185070
    Try to find the bloody magpies and recieve a "gift" from them
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:37 No.16185080
    rolled 30 = 30

    Fuck the nearest planet.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:38 No.16185089
    >>16185080
    Shut up.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:39 No.16185102
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16185024

    take a sample of our genes alter it and create genetically superior space marines that are 100% loyal to us.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:39 No.16185113
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>16185024
    Khornettes are so Tsundere :3

    Go and meet up with our Tch'tal fleet, see how they're doing.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:39 No.16185116
    rolled 36 = 36

    >>16185036
    Well, that's not right.

    Print off more WAAUGH stickers for them.

    Lift Selena up, sit in your chair and place her on your dick.

    Scan the system.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:40 No.16185124
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16185024

    WE CONVERT TCH'TAL INTO A SHIP, FLY IT INTO COMMORAGH
    >> Dice+1d100 Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:40 No.16185138
    >>16185070
    sorry forgot my dice
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:41 No.16185149
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16185102
    No mary sues, except for US.

    Although, having our OWN Primarchs would be pretty cool.

    6 would be enough.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:41 No.16185155
    rolled 24 = 24

    >>16185024
    "Yep, we're back at Tch'tal. It's still quite early, how about breakfast?"
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:41 No.16185156
    >>16185138
    >>16185070

    it seems that you "gifted" your dice
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:42 No.16185171
    rolled 57 = 57

    >>16185024
    "We're heading to Tch'tal, to see that everything's alright. Might be going to Commoragh after, don't know."
    Tell her the time. Ask her if she feels okay, she's been asleep a while I think. If she's got a migraine she's totally pregnant, I know it's impossible for human + Eldar, but don't forget we're AWESOME.
    Also, destroy that asteroid for daring to defy ME, the GOD of WAAAAAAAAAGGH.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:43 No.16185185
    rolled 84 = 84

    >>16185024
    Ignore Selena, and continue on with the plan.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:43 No.16185194
    >>16185171
    As a pimp we don't impregnate unless we intend to.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:45 No.16185212
    rolled 96 = 96

    >>16185171
    Rolling to disregard this faggot.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:45 No.16185220
    >>16185212
    GJ
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:47 No.16185231
    rolled 63 = 63

    >>16185212

    ROLL SUCCESSFUL!

    Send a bouquet of flowers to Khorne along with a box of Khorne Flakes. Then proceed to go smash up some Tau
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:50 No.16185268
    rolled 78 = 78

    >>16185231
    You know, after that pun i don't think my cereal will ever taste the same.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:50 No.16185285
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16185065
    Dont make stupid rolls, then.

    Rolling for his original plan, fuck him.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:52 No.16185308
    >>16185268

    You never heard that pun?
    Oh its rather old..
    It was funny because there was a picture to go with it..
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:52 No.16185324
    rolled 55 = 55

    >>16185231
    The bouquet must be made out of corn flowers.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornflower
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:55 No.16185351
    Okay guys, stop.


    This is getting pretty Khorney.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:55 No.16185359
    rolled 74 = 74

    >>16185116
    This.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:56 No.16185366
    >>16185324

    And then we can contact slaneesh, making a deal to have him/her/it to have this said cereal made with addictive sugar with SLANEESH ORGY secret ingredients.
    Then show Khorne that we are making money off of his image.
    Pleasing one chaos god and then another!
    DISTRIBUTE THROUGHOUT THE IMPERIUM~!
    FUCK ELDER BITCHES, ACQUIRE THRONES.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:57 No.16185382
    >>16185359
    :|

    Come on, now.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)22:57 No.16185390
    rolled 37 = 37

    >>16185366

    Also here is my roll!
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)22:59 No.16185423
    >>16185185
    >>16185212
    Deciding to disregard females and acquire currency, you allow Selena's immediate subordinate to inform her of the situation, as the Eldar pulls her panties and uniform back on. Ignoring your first officer as you hail the Tch'tal fleet, you open a channel with the commander you left in charge, a former Commissar and one of the winners of the Tch'tal Grand Prix. He's busily screaming at his lieutenants when you call, but soon calms down and salutes. With a rather posh accent, Commissar Fenris explains the situation, going into great detail in the area of the Tau Imperial forces. He claims to have successfully captured almost fifty Tau vessels and retrofitted them with SDCSs, and to have also conquered eight systems in your name. When one of his subordinates corrects him on his figures, claiming he had only conquered six systems, Fenris stabs the crewman in the face and continues.

    He's recently met up with the Tau rebel scum, assisting them in a battle and claiming the plunder from both sides. The weight of a dozen ships in jewels and technology has been stored in your space station by the techpriests you converted, to be studied and reverse engineered. Heretical sciences abound in the Tch'tal system, with twelve other space stations having been constructed, the twelfth of which is to be used as a research station for plasma weaponry. It will be finished next week.

    Commissar Fenris regrets to inform you that several thousand Tau have been worked to death in making the stations, but all of them were Tau empire soldiers who refused to convert, so it's okay for them to die.

    He's planning a major offensive on another Tau world soon enough, using the tanks developed by the techpriests he tied with in the Grand Prix.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:02 No.16185459
    rolled 92 = 92

    >>16185423
    Shower him with bitches and make home the admiral of the fleet he's building.

    Meanwhile we'll go loot commoraugh
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:02 No.16185464
    rolled 38 = 38

    tell him not to bother with the tanks and drop virus bombs on the planet
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:02 No.16185467
    rolled 50 = 50

    >>16185423

    Wow.. Damn..
    Start a program of making our own Space Marines except with Ork starter bodies.
    ORKY MUHREENS.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:03 No.16185474
    >>16185171
    Also, there are human/eldar hybrid, look em up
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:03 No.16185477
    rolled 15 = 15

    Go with Commissar "hit them with my sword", and take over some Tau worlds like a boss.

    Use psyker powers to assist the troops from orbit, ala battle meditation from star wars.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:03 No.16185478
    rolled 42 = 42

    >>16185423
    Promote him to third in command immediately, jesus christ

    50 ships? 6-8 star systems?

    We need to start printing off medals, then give him them, all of them.

    Also WAAUGH stickers for the orks

    Fix our superdeff bike while we're at it.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:04 No.16185487
    rolled 41 = 41

    >>16185459
    >Home
    I meant him. But if you interpret it as something more awesome then whatever.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:08 No.16185528
    >>16184898
    I still vote for this.


    Also, take Au'taal. Sack the entire planet, and use the populace as slave labour.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:09 No.16185540
    rolled 12 = 12

    >>16185528
    My roll.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:11 No.16185566
    >>16185540
    Fuck my life.

    Any bros wanna catch this on the rebound? plz?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:12 No.16185575
    >>16185566
    No, becuase it sucks.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:12 No.16185582
    rolled 41 = 41

    >>16184898
    this
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:12 No.16185584
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16185566

    +1
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:14 No.16185600
         File1315192444.jpg-(44 KB, 468x285, 1313983507790.jpg)
    44 KB
    >>16185584
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:17 No.16185639
    >>16185459
    He has the vote locked, lets just write this and move on.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)23:20 No.16185664
    >>16185459
    Impressed with the Commissar's sense of duty, and amazed at his success in capturing Tau planets, you decide that a promotion would be very fitting. Opening a channel to the rest of the fleet, in front of all of them to you remove Commissar Fenris from your service. In his place is not a man, but a god to his men, someone so far above them that to disobey his would be insanity. Third in rank in your fleet, second only to you and Selena, you instruct Admiral Fenris to rise from his knees, and take hold of this fleet. Bowing his head, the former Commissar gives you thanks for the opportunity.

    Declaring Fenris to be in command of the Tch'tal regional fleet, you instruct the commanders of the other ships to, quote, "Shower him with bitches", before closing the channel. Selena, from your chair, nods in approval, as you tell the 14 other ships in your fleet to prepare to embark for Commorragh. Passing on the coordinates, the ships lock on to them, their Wraithbone Webway Interfaces burning their way into their engines, having been glued on roughly by the Orks. The Wraithbone grows and bleeds into the ships as their engines release coolant, preparing for the looting ahead.

    Are you sure you want to go to Commorragh? It's ~ten days away, and if you fail, it's unlikely you'll be able to get assistance.

    If so, what do until then? If not, what do instead?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:21 No.16185685
    rolled 1 = 1

    "GOD DAMMIT BUBBLES GET OUT OF MY CHAIR."

    Remove Bubbles from chair, sit in chair, place Bubbles on dick.

    TO COMMORRAGH!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:22 No.16185694
         File1315192941.jpg-(731 KB, 1007x748, 1314119147178.jpg)
    731 KB
    rolled 19 = 19

    >>16185685
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)23:22 No.16185708
         File1315192977.jpg-(40 KB, 560x432, haha_oh_wow.jpg)
    40 KB
    >>16185685
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:23 No.16185711
    >>16185685
    ( ' l_ ' )
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:25 No.16185757
    >>16185664
    >>16185664
    We should be okay as long as we dont hit a nat 1 and the retards stay out. Send spy vessels out ahead of us, if we have them.
    Scout out the enemy's defenses, approximate size of the army, and any possible weakpoints.
    Realizing this may be your last battle (good chance of dying), tell Selena how you really feel about her.


    ...You would like to drown her in your cum.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:26 No.16185763
         File1315193193.jpg-(235 KB, 565x563, 1312561806674.jpg)
    235 KB
    >>16185685

    ok so we squeal like a little girl for her to get out of our chair?

    FUKKEN ALPHA MALE YEAH!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:26 No.16185770
    rolled 94 = 94

    >>16185685

    rolling 100 to negate the 1.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:27 No.16185774
    rolled 60 = 60

    >>16185770
    Here's a six
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:27 No.16185776
    rolled 97 = 97

    >>16185664
    Yes, we want to go. It's what we've prepared for for at least 3 threads (or something).
    Until then... let's just train the powers of our mind some more. If everything fails, we might be on our own, and then we'll need to be able to get away, fast.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:27 No.16185778
    rolled 89 = 89

    >>16185685
    ROLLING FOR A 100

    SAVE US, OH GOD OF DICE
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:28 No.16185788
    rolled 47 = 47

    >>16185757
    My roll.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:28 No.16185789
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16185685
    Fuck you faggot virgin.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:28 No.16185799
         File1315193314.gif-(274 KB, 238x179, 1304401522181.gif)
    274 KB
    >>16185770
    >>16185778
    >>16185685
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:29 No.16185815
    rolled 73 = 73

    OH FUCK WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE ON THE WAY THERE NAT 100s GUIDE ME!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:29 No.16185816
    rolled 37 = 37

    sigh... Welp, there goes Heretic quest.

    Dead. rolling for not dead.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:30 No.16185829
    rolled 63 = 63

    >>16185778
    >>16185776
    >>16185770
    ok, so not 100's but so goddamn high that they should help

    also prepare ship scale warp shields for the fleet upon emergence.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:31 No.16185843
    rolled 45 = 45

    God of the die guide my hand.
    >> samefaggan, ignore this roll 09/04/11(Sun)23:31 No.16185848
    rolled 15 = 15

    IF THERE IS ANYONE ELSE WHO HASNT ROLLED, FUCKING ROLL

    SAVE US, THE REST OF /tg/, I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS FROM THE FRONT PAGE
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:32 No.16185862
    rolled 70 = 70

    >>16185848
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:33 No.16185865
         File1315193587.png-(375 KB, 591x320, 1313795702415.png)
    375 KB
    rolled 79 = 79

    NO.

    We go to commoragh or whatever the shit.
    And send Bubbles to her quarters, we have enough distractions as it is.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:33 No.16185871
    >>16185848
    No
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:34 No.16185885
    rolled 78 = 78

    >>16185848
    Here.
    Is this the quest where you guys punched a planet?
    >> Some guy from Commander Quest 09/04/11(Sun)23:35 No.16185891
    rolled 63 = 63

    Haha fags, enjoy being obliterated.

    rolling low.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)23:35 No.16185892
    >>16185770
    I'll be a little bit merciful then.

    >>16185685
    Removing Bubbles from your chair like a man, and placing her on your dick, you allow her to ride you as the Webway Interfaces power up. Shouting out for all ships to engage, Selena flies to the ceiling as all the gravity on board is inverted, the Webway Interfaces aboard every single one of your ships exploding.

    15 fireballs fill the night's sky above Tch'tal, as Mork's Klaw and the other craft begin leaking atmospherics and engine coolant, the Wraithbone attempting to seal the gaps in their hulls in vain. Shouting for all craft to disable the interfaces, the portals torn into the Webway close, and the atmospherics return to normal. Pieces of your ship float every which way, as do pieces of the other ships. Requesting a status report, you throw Selena her clothes and fix the static interference plaguing the inter-ship Vox. Taking in the updates, you determine that you aren't going to Commorragh any time soon.

    >15 of your ships are no longer Webway-capable
    >14% of crewmen aboard these ships have been lost
    >these ships can now only move at 33% speed

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:36 No.16185914
    rolled 82 = 82

    >>16185892
    Take a dump.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:37 No.16185925
    rolled 99 = 99

    >>16185892
    Great! Now fifteen of our ships are totally useless, and we can't invade Commorragh.

    sadfrog.jpg

    I guess sullenly pull into port and try to avoid feeling to embarrassed about this whole thing.

    We'll cry into our pillow like a bitch later tonight.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:38 No.16185930
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16185925
    You better believe we will!~
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:38 No.16185941
    rolled 26 = 26

    >>16185892
    clearly we need more Orks, a proper WAAUGH field would have made that interface work.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:38 No.16185942
    >>16185930
    Keep making rolls like that and I will.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:39 No.16185947
    rolled 29 = 29

    begin repairing our ships
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:39 No.16185951
    rolled 86 = 86

    >>16185892
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
    well, I guess we'll have to land those ships and get them repaired. It's alright, gives us time to prepare some more. Practice powers. Invent new heretek.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:39 No.16185954
    >>16185925
    >rolling a 99 to cry into our pillow like a bitch
    >rolling a 1 to use the Webway
    >rolling a 100 to give someone cancer

    Just an average thread in Heretic Quest.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:40 No.16185974
    rolled 51 = 51

    >>16185892
    Practice with our wraithbone skills.

    Learn !!ART!!

    Get our ships repaired
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:40 No.16185979
    rolled 61 = 61

    >>16185954
    She was asking for it.

    Rolling to disbelieve.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:40 No.16185986
         File1315194054.jpg-(217 KB, 600x433, 1313983707796.jpg)
    217 KB
    rolled 41 = 41

    >>16185892


    FUCK.
    Head to the nearest repair station and get the fleet back to full readiness and then develop a way to actually get there.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)23:41 No.16185987
         File1315194063.png-(3 KB, 199x176, 20110128203738!Trollface.png)
    3 KB
    >>16185925
    >>16185954
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:41 No.16185988
    rolled 64 = 64

    >>16185892
    Well then, in that case...

    I dont know, repair your shit while you research more knowledge of the warp. Attempt to capture some powerful psykers and use your immense power to absorb their abilities.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:43 No.16186022
    Hey OP, quick question, do you actually enjoy running this quest? and if so....do you ignore blatant trolls such as

    >>16185914

    Hmm? Or that Khorne faggot?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:44 No.16186032
    rolled 87 = 87

    Do we have a tech center?

    Pour a ton of resources into making improvements to the ships, particularly armor and weaponry.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:46 No.16186059
    rolled 44 = 44

    >>16186022
    I was actually serious. It's a great way to clear your head after something like that.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:47 No.16186065
    Come on, guys!

    IDEAS

    WE NEED IDEAS.
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/04/11(Sun)23:49 No.16186089
    >>16186022
    This quest is hilarious, of course I enjoy running it. A lot of your posts make me cringe, but it's all worth it in the end. Even if it wasn't, as long as /tg/ enjoyed it I wouldn't care.

    >>16185925
    Sighing, you order your ships to pull into port, your face twisting from one of confident power to one of quiet depression. Thanking Admiral Fenris for his offer when he asks if you need assistance, despite both his and Selena's insistence that such things happen, you feel it to be your fault personally. As your ships pull up to space station 6 on request of Fenris to begin repairs, you leave for your quarters.

    Crawling into your bed, you ignore Selena's advances and attempts to cheer you up, and cry into your pillow like a bitch. With Selena lying next to you, you listen to the docking clamps engaging, and the crewmen rushing about to put out fires before they begin repairs.

    You feel a message from Khorne upon your mind.

    "NOW WE'RE EVEN, BITCH!"

    Sighing, you hug Bubbles and fall asleep, ignoring Khorne calling you a wuss.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:51 No.16186112
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>16186089
    Hey, if it got Khorne off our back then it was worth it.

    Let's paint something purple!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:52 No.16186130
    rolled 69 = 69

    >>16186089
    Sensitivity talk with Serena while nibbling her ears, we may as well take advantage of the disaster and have sex.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:52 No.16186134
    >>16186089
    ...So ronery...

    T_T
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:53 No.16186144
    rolled 13 = 13

    Uhm... Shit, I dont know. What else is there to do?

    Raise morale for your forces. Use the budget they WERE going to use to rebuild infrastructure on Tch'tal on a festival held in your honor.

    Set up raiding parties on major trade routes near your territory. Use the crews of said trade ships as rations for your Ork troops, and salvage what you can from the vessels.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:53 No.16186151
    rolled 68 = 68

    >>16186089
    Fucking... Khorne!
    Invade his realm and... no, we probably deserved this. Let's just stay out of his shit for now. Practice our powers and invent advanced heretek battlesuits.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:55 No.16186171
    rolled 88 = 88

    >>16186130
    >69

    clearly the dice have spoken.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:55 No.16186173
    rolled 51 = 51

    >>16186144
    What? No, don't EAT them.

    Use them as slave labour/test subjects.

    What the hell is wrong with you?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:55 No.16186191
    rolled 88 = 88

    >>16186171
    Goddamnit, /tg/...
    >> samefag 09/04/11(Sun)23:56 No.16186208
    >>16186191
    using this roll to negate his support for that post.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:57 No.16186224
    >>16186191
    >>16186171
    >roll of equal value negating another roll

    PARADOX
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:57 No.16186227
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16186089

    Call Tzeentch because Khorne is, again, a bitch.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/11(Sun)23:59 No.16186260
    >>16186208
    Ironically, the original post is still the highest roll in that case.
    >> samefag 09/05/11(Mon)00:00 No.16186262
    >>16186224
    Hey, it covers the dice value.

    I dont see a problem.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:01 No.16186288
    rolled 46 = 46

    >>16186089
    ascend to chaos god status just long enough to buttfuck khorne with a rake and leave him as the crying butthurt faggot that he really is

    then/or

    design a heretek ship design that combines at least a few of the damaged ships into some kind of foul heretical capital vessel
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:02 No.16186309
    rolled 18 = 18

    >>16185015
    Lets do THIS
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:03 No.16186318
         File1315195403.jpg-(820 KB, 726x1000, 1303211336.jpg)
    820 KB
    rolled 49 = 49

    >>16186022
    >>16186089

    YOU RANG?

    ROLLING TO START BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THINGS.

    WE ARE AN ALPHA LEVEL PSYKER AND WE DO NOT FEEL BAD. WHEN WE FEEL BAD WE KILL SHIT AND FEEL BETTER.


    AND THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:04 No.16186331
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>16185015
    Fix ships, find something closer to fuck up..................
    >> THAT KHORNE FAGGOT 09/05/11(Mon)00:05 No.16186353
    THERE IS NO ROOM THE THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE 41ST MILLENNIUM FOR WAIFU SHIT.

    THIS WOMAN. HER NAME BEGINS WITH AN S OR SOMETHING. SHE MUST DIE.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:06 No.16186360
    rolled 14 = 14

    Beat three of our sisters of battle to death because they were lookin' at us funny, make two others heads asplode.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:06 No.16186362
    rolled 73 = 73

    >>16186318
    THIS. COAT THE HALLS IN BLOOD UNTIL OUR SELF-ESTEEM IMPROVES.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:06 No.16186367
    rolled 16 = 16

    Come on guys, dont let a waifu faggot win.

    are there any chaos marine-held planets nearby?

    Lets go bug them.
    >> THAT KHORNE FAGGOT 09/05/11(Mon)00:06 No.16186371
    rolled 71 = 71

    >>16186353

    AND HERE IS THE ROLL THAT WILL SEAL HER FATE.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:06 No.16186374
    rolled 38 = 38

    >>16186362
    I THIRD THIS.
    >> kHARN !!eZlho2c+a+O 09/05/11(Mon)00:07 No.16186393
    rolled 93 = 93

    >>16186089


    GO FIND SOME CHAINFISTS

    IF CHAINFISTS CANNOT BE FOUND, POUND THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.

    IF THEY CAN BE FOUND, RIP AND POUND THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. MAKE SURE TO GIVE BUBBLES A GOOD DICKING.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:07 No.16186395
    >>16186362
    NO BLOOD GODDAMMIT!! that shit takes forever to mop up

    and you so do not want to know what it does to hair.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:07 No.16186399
    >>16186362
    He wins
    >>16186371
    not you, haha fag.
    >> Follower of Nurgle !!sIKdudUWoVE 09/05/11(Mon)00:08 No.16186401
    rolled 71 = 71

    Obviously we must share cancer with the world, infect everybody on the ship with cancer, we will be united in pestilence!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:09 No.16186408
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16186395
    goddammit
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:09 No.16186414
         File1315195769.jpg-(98 KB, 600x1000, GETITDONE.jpg)
    98 KB
    rolled 16 = 16

    >>16186393

    MAH NIGGA, WHEN DID YOU GET BACK FROM THE CRUSADES?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:09 No.16186416
    >>16186393
    Contain it to one sector please, let's NOT fuck up our entire flagship.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:09 No.16186418
    rolled 46 = 46

    >>16186374
    >>16186371
    >>16186362
    >>16186353
    >>16186318
    Come one guys, not this shit again. It destroyed the last thread, do not destroy this one.
    >> THAT KHORNE FAGGOT 09/05/11(Mon)00:10 No.16186432
         File1315195849.jpg-(60 KB, 600x420, 1306622917569.jpg)
    60 KB
    >>16186418

    BLOOD AND THUNDER AWAIT, COMRADE.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:11 No.16186437
         File1315195873.jpg-(18 KB, 200x234, Khorne_symbol.jpg)
    18 KB
    >>16186418

    BEST RESPECT SON.
    >> kHARN !!eZlho2c+a+O 09/05/11(Mon)00:11 No.16186442
         File1315195898.jpg-(1.13 MB, 1700x2338, garykasperovyoung.jpg)
    1.13 MB
    >>16186414

    FUCK YOU FAGGOT FIGHT ME
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:11 No.16186447
    rolled 79 = 79

    FIRE UPON OUR OWN SHIPS

    KILL EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.

    RIP
    TEAR
    MAIM
    MUTILATE
    DECAPITATE
    MURDER
    SLAUGHTER
    DECIMATE
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:13 No.16186458
    rolled 43 = 43

    NO YOU FAGGOTS

    WORK OF THE FUCKING SHIPS

    WERE TRYING TO CONQUER THE GALAXY, HERE
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:13 No.16186460
         File1315196002.jpg-(282 KB, 582x800, CSzm.jpg)
    282 KB
    >>16186442

    THIS SHIT AGAIN?!?! I BEAT YOUR ASS TWICE BACK ON SKALATHRAX.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:15 No.16186481
    rolled 76 = 76

    >>16186460
    >female
    RAPE
    RAPE
    RAPE
    RAPE
    RAPE
    RAPE
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/05/11(Mon)00:15 No.16186485
    >>16186393
    Waking up in the middle of the night, you decide to cheer yourself up by punching some Orks with chainfists. Giving Bubbles a brutal and several hour long dicking, you leave her drooling on your bed begging for more and leave your quarters.

    TO THE LAB!

    Grinding away at your forges, you take what metals you can spare from the repairing of your ships and begin throwing together a pair of chainfists. Throwing them to the ground, you hit them with a hammer until they work, a trick you learned from the Orks. With the chainfists functional, you attach them to your arms and leave the forge.

    Locating the meanest, nastiest Nobs you can, you challenge them to a fight, all at the same time. Using your new chainfists, you attack them, punching through the moving fist of an Ork and tearing his arm in half. Boxing the others into quarters using your new invention, you slam your fists together and light their corpses on fire using the resulting sparks.

    You feel much better now.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:15 No.16186489
    rolled 44 = 44

    We have to kill ourselves. It's the only option.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:17 No.16186525
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>16186489
    I agree.

    We are such a massive faggot, we dont even deserve to live.

    Throw ourself through the airlock.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:18 No.16186533
         File1315196294.jpg-(793 KB, 1000x417, Hate.jpg)
    793 KB
    rolled 35 = 35

    >>16186485

    YOU GUYS FEEL BETTER? I SURE AS SHIT DON'T.

    GO BACK AND SLAP BUBBLES AROUND, THAT SELENA BITCH TOO.

    ALSO, ASK KHORNE WHO HE WANTS US TO FUCK UP.
    >> THAT KHORNE FAGGOT 09/05/11(Mon)00:18 No.16186536
         File1315196306.jpg-(309 KB, 529x529, fuckingpissedcommisariat.jpg)
    309 KB
    rolled 56 = 56

    >>16186485
    THAT IS NOT WHAT THE MAN SPECIFIED!

    IT IS A WASTE OF TIME TO FUNNEL OUR ANGER INTO CERTAIN THINGS WHEN SO MUCH SIMPLY EXISTS AROUND IS RIPE FOR THE KILLING.

    BUBBLES, THE OTHER WHORE, OUR SURROUNDINGS.

    MAIN KILL BURN
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:18 No.16186540
    rolled 59 = 59

    OKAY, SO FIRST WE KILL HALF OF OUR CREW. PERSONALLY. MULTIPLE TIMES. THEN WE TAKE THEIR BODIES AND FORM THEM INTO AN ELABORATE STATUE TO KHORNE AND BREAKING SHIT IN. IT'D BE CALLED THE MACABRE MACRAME BUT THAT'S TOO FAGGOTY OF A NAME.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:18 No.16186542
    rolled 14 = 14

    >>16186485
    Create viable dicksquigs, set them loose in the wilds of loyalist tau worlds
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:19 No.16186551
         File1315196350.jpg-(113 KB, 684x626, 1302528962580.jpg)
    113 KB
    so is this LOOK AT ME POST IN CAPS BLUD FOR THE BLUD GOD LOL KILL EVERYTHING faggot going to ruin every single thread?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:19 No.16186556
    rolled 58 = 58

    >>16186536
    THE ENTIRE SHIP MUST COME DOWN.

    CUT IT TO PIECES.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:19 No.16186560
    rolled 77 = 77

    >>16186485
    well now we need more ships and recruits... i propose we either go and get more orks for our grand WAAAGH or we go and try and recruit some necrons, robo-zombies joining our ranks at the moment seems like a find and dandy idea
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:20 No.16186576
         File1315196426.jpg-(30 KB, 258x195, 1311051673325.jpg)
    30 KB
    >>16186485
    Fap using their blood as lubricant.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:20 No.16186577
         File1315196427.jpg-(7 KB, 252x240, 1309050270459.jpg)
    7 KB
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>16186540

    (Pic related)

    >>16186551

    (I'm not alone here broski.)
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:21 No.16186593
    rolled 71 = 71

    I think it's time we created a chaos god, just for fun. Just to dick with Khorne.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:21 No.16186594
    rolled 34 = 34

    >>16186576
    Rolling for this!
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:22 No.16186609
         File1315196540.gif-(397 KB, 400x386, 1296849163072.gif)
    397 KB
    >>16186593
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:22 No.16186611
    rolled 29 = 29

    >>16186551
    Yes. Yes he is. Rolling to negate whatever the fuck he says. Also... rebuild, practice and shit. Definitely shit.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:23 No.16186627
         File1315196614.png-(40 KB, 509x572, 1302822967794.png)
    40 KB
    >>16186611
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/05/11(Mon)00:23 No.16186630
    This thread's reached 250 posts, I'm actually gonna end it right now. I know you guys always like me to post until it autosages, but I've got some planning to do for next time.

    THREAD OVER, will return tomorrow.
    >> kHARN !!eZlho2c+a+O 09/05/11(Mon)00:24 No.16186638
         File1315196665.jpg-(31 KB, 254x250, 1314393791234 (1).jpg)
    31 KB
    rolled 89 = 89

    MURDER BUBBLES AND THAT OTHER S NAMED WHORE.

    IGNORE OTHER POSTS.

    BEGIN BUTTFUCKING EVERY SMUG ASS PSYKER ON ALL OF OUR SHIPS. SERIOUSLY. PSYKERS ARE DICKS.

    ALSO IT GUYS. FAGGOTS.
    >> THAT KHORNE FAGGOT 09/05/11(Mon)00:24 No.16186643
         File1315196683.png-(137 KB, 320x239, 1240201164798.png)
    137 KB
    >>16186630

    PUSSY.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:24 No.16186647
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>16186630
    I'll be sure to kill us next time.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:24 No.16186648
         File1315196694.jpg-(20 KB, 278x268, bas.jpg)
    20 KB
    >>16186630

    I'LL BE HERE FOR THE NEXT ONE, DON'T YOU WORRY.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:25 No.16186651
    rolled 33 = 33

    Fuck all this HURR KHORNE IS AN OKAY GUY I KIND OF GUESS MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE HIM SOME MURDERS. Khorne's a faggot, and faggots get fucked in the ass.

    We've lost numbers, so we should focus on expanding. Scout more local systems, work on integrating our current tech with all those guardsmen and orks we've got lying around doing nothing.

    Battlesuits, stealth suits, better SDCS, all that fancy shit. Make a force of Doc-Ock commando guardsmen while we're at it.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:26 No.16186663
    Are they PURPOSELY trying to ruin threads, or are they legitimately playing>
    >> Heresy !i2Hk5Ksu8k 09/05/11(Mon)00:26 No.16186670
    >>16186648
    I'm looking forward to it, actually.

    Shit's about to go down, so you'll get your chance to KILL MAIM BURN. A lot of chances, in fact.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 09/05/11(Mon)00:28 No.16186696
         File1315196922.jpg-(257 KB, 900x1272, Lorgar1.jpg)
    257 KB
    >>16186670

    HEAR THAT, WE DO GODS WORK.


    WE CRUSADERS NOW.

    BLACK CRUSADERS.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:28 No.16186702
    >>16186673
    be careful what you wish for
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)00:31 No.16186724
    rolled 58 = 58

    >>16186673
    25 archived threads of back-story. How about no?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)01:14 No.16187206
    rolled 31 = 31

    >>16186485
    make a plan with tzeentch and slaanesh to get back at khorne
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)02:20 No.16187824
         File1315203602.jpg-(243 KB, 1005x592, oh god no.jpg)
    243 KB
    I figured I might as well save this spectacular piece of fail.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)03:14 No.16188396
    rolled 75 = 75

    Know what fuck this shit.

    Letss learn to build tellyportas. Then make them shipsized tellyportas everywhere we own something. SoTS Hiver bugs or EVE style gates. Instant FTL bitches.

    Then build small tellyportas (gargant fitting sized ) and have them linked to 25 orkresistent specially for them designed tellyportas. Drop them small tellyportas on large ork worlds wiht big baners saying "BIGGES WAGGGHH OVA' 'ERE" And jump them in Commoraggh.
    Fuck conquering it. lets soften it up with a endles stream of uncontrolable orks, and fortify our holdings with the best in instatnt FTL for military and economic purpouses.


    Also , find which Craftworld and Planet (think she was born dirt side) Bubbles is (try to remember and not ask her again) Then conquer those and put here honorary governor. (A title thing, she can haveto stroke her ego over all those who bullied her over her relatives. Those are the actuall problem not the dark eldar, but we wantz to have them all!)
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)03:15 No.16188405
    rolled 51 = 51

    >>16188396
    THIS!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)03:24 No.16188499
    rolled 87 = 87

    >>16188396


    BLUUD ANd CUM JUICES!

    Also create and release some cocksquigs! our ork luitnants shall know what it means to have the Cock and balls
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)03:24 No.16188504
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>16188499
    >CUNT JUICES
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)08:21 No.16190625
    rolled 17 = 17

    >>16188499
    JUICES FOR THE CUNT GOD!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/11(Mon)10:09 No.16191297
    rolled 89 = 89

    we reach out into the warp and tell Khorne to stop fucking around inside our heads, and if he does not stop we will come over there beat the shit out of him and steal the 38 Khornetes we sent flowers to



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