>IMPORTANT INFORMATION:
1: Lady Casmaron of Golarion is apparently sided with the Umbrans, and she will put your messengers to death in one week's time. Spymaster Soren has dispatched some of his "Birdies" to try to stop this.

2: You have gained a squad of 12 paladins, and the druids, led by Grand-Druid Ogden, have agreed to aid in growing additional crops for your people. Ogden and High-Priestess Akara seem to dislike each other, though there is obvious amounts of Unresolved Sexual Tension. Also, Ogden has a mouse-familiar named Buta, who is a lot less relaxed than his master. Ogden has also agreed to fix Sir Kahl's crippled leg.

3: The Dwarves have succeeded in crafting silvered weaponry; it seems to be just as strong as steel. The Dwarves are currently making you a sword "worthy of legends." Dwarves are bro-tier.

4: You and Kahl (your War Minister) came up with a devious plan, and have begun spreading propaganda into the Wastelands of /b/, all of which contain various poorly-written insults and a plethora of drawn-dicks, with Umbra's seal upon them, in the hopes that it would cause the /b/arbarians to focus their assaults on the less-defended Umbra-/b/order.

5: Preparations are underway to assault a Umbran Fortress that lies between Dessex and Blackmoor. If it is successful, it will open up trade routes to Blackmoor and to the Sea, and, hopefully, convince the Blackmoorians to aid you in a Blitzkrieg against Umbra. In addition, with the help of Urvash Strongbeard, plans have been drafted for both mobile fortifications and a tunnel to go behind enemy lines.

>IMPORTANT INDIVIDUALS:
SIR KAHL: Your War Minister. An aging knight, who suffers from a debilitating wound to the leg he recieved decades ago in single combat with one of the most powerful Warlords of /b/. Despite his failing body, his mind is as sharp as ever.

VALARIUS: Your Diplomatic Minister. Middle-Aged and balding, but jolly and good-natured. He loves to drink, and, as such, becomes incredibly happy when Dwarven Envoys arrive.

URVASH STRONGBEARD: The emissary of the Hamerfell Mountainhome. He seemed like a good sort; honorable and honest, though not much for decorum.

OGDEN: The Grand-Druid of the Sylvan Grove. He has a mouse familiar named Buta. He's pretty chill.

AKARA: High-Priestess of the Order of the Light. She is a... high-maintenance sort of woman, and seems to take issue with Ogden (and by take issue, I mean "has enough pent up UST to power a small city").


You sit in your throne room, ready to take on your Lordly responsibilities.

>Wat Do?
>Roll 1d100 for Suggestions. Similar Suggestions will be grouped together. Stupid Suggestions will be Ignored.
>To Roll: Type "dice+1d100" into the Email Field (without quotation marks).

>Also, pic related. I love you guys.

Bumping for players.

Get a status update on how soon your forces will be ready for the assault then make a speech to the general population. Time to get them behind the war effort.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15949374
why do I keep fucking up the roll?

dice+1d100

Do we have completed War Wagons? If so then I suggest we should have our soldiers practice with them. No sense sending them in with new weapons they do not know how to use.

>>15949390
>Gotta put that in the E-mail field, bro.

rolled 80 = 80

try to get basic information of the fortress that we are going to attack

rolled 49 = 49

>>15949390

Just rolled out of bed. Ignore my fail.

Query: Can there be other territories beyond the /b/ wastes?

I missed the earlier threads

rolled 10 = 10

Get status of troops.

Oh god I hope this dice + noko works

rolled 28 = 28

>>15949406

This.

Also, I love being there for the beginning of quest threads; makes me feel so special.

>>15949358
Do not think I would not have any urge to express mygratitude, but participating in this is rather hardcore from Europe and I just need to sleep sometime.

Anyway thanks for your efforts and all the fish.

rolled 84 = 84

Do we have scouts or spies?

Get reports from them.

rolled 36 = 36

Have Spymaster Soren send ambassadors to the Empire of /v/; their common culture may help draw them to our cause.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15949463

Bad idea; the /v/ empire might decide to take advantage of /tg/'s civil war. It'd look good for an emperor of a declining empire to conquer new land.

>>15949488
Right. We must stand and fall as one, when we want to take on /v/.
So we first settle our matters within before we go care about the other countries.

rolled 50 = 50

>>15949508
What he said, unite the lands of /tg/ then worry about the rest of the world.

rolled 13 = 13

Send some of our birdies to forge documents that incriminate Umbra in trying to ally itself with Cadia against Golaria, and allow Golarian agents to find the documents

Send some birdies to pose as members of the Church in Umbra and preach that what Lady Casmaron is doing is against the Word

Summon a member of the /x/ cult that is lurking within our borders and prepare to summon a dark creature to join us in battle

Open up talks with Cadia to at least keep them neutral

>>15949374
>>15949381
You call in your War Minister, Sir Kahl. You notice that he walks without a limp for the first time since you have known him. He even has a smile on his face!

He tells you that for the most part, your forces are ready; your dwarven allies have crafted armor and silvered weapons for the vast majority of your soldiers. The War Wagons are also complete, with the last of the shields being attached as you speak.

>>15949406
"Well," says Kahl, "The territory we're lookin' to eliminate is called "The Green Sept" by the locals; it's ruled by a shapeshifter."

"It's got a few thousand guards, and about an equal number of potential conscripts; it'll outnumber us, but not terribly so."

rolled 27 = 27

>>15949549

Call in the best mapmakers from across our nation and have them draw up a map of the area, but with as many details of the fortress as possible, as well as the geography and topography of the surrounding lands

rolled 72 = 72

>>15949549
We should wait until /b/order troubles forces them to reduce their number in the garrison before we attack. Or some other form of havok.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15949586

This. The second Soren hears of a /b/ invasion on that border, then we strike. Until then, we should just prepare as best we can.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15949586
>>15949601

Agreed, although we must not tarry too long lest they choose to reinforce the area in their absence

>>15949586
>>15949601

As if by magic, your Spymaster, Soren, enters the room.

"My Lord," he says, his voice as quiet as a whisper, but as clear as if he was right beside you, "I have news of the barbarians."

You remember back on the note you sent them, and smirk.

"Ah, yes. About time they noticed."

Soren nods. "Indeed. It would appear that, for the first few days, they merely sat around spewing insults and mockeries at one another, but now, they are actively moving towards the Umbran North-West border; however, our North-East Blackwatch should be able to deal with any stragglers that get lost."

rolled 79 = 79

>>15949611
What he said. Though when we do strike it needs to be as swift and precise as possible. We have dwindling resources in enemy territory. Time will not be our friend.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15949643
Even the seal!
This is so glorious.

Have a psionic kitten.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15949643
Order Soren and some of his birds to monitor that battle from a safe distance. Tell them to sabotage any efforts from either side that may end the battle before our assault is over. The longer Umbra fights /b/ the better. Both sides are our enemy let them kill each other.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15949643
Call in Sir Kahl and Urvash, draw up precise plans to attack. Have them gather their forces. Did we ever get any mercs?

rolled 14 = 14

>>15949643

Excellent news!

However, the mapmaker has yet to provide us with accurate battlefield information.

How else are we to plan our assault on the fort?

>>15949663
>KITTY!
>53 PSIONIC KITTIES!

>>15949674
We got about a a dozen well armed Paladins

>>15949678
>>15949671
\You look to Soren, a plan forming in your mind.

"Spymaster, I want you to send some of your birdies to observe the barbarian assault on Umbra. We need to make sure that neither side gains the upper hand, so that they remain distracted while we take Green Sept. Speaking of that..."

You turn to Sir Kahl.

"We need information, Kahl. Terrain, defenses. We need some sort of MAP."

Kahl nods. "Of course, Sire. I will have some scribes draft one right away; it may take a while, however."

>This translates to "The GM has to draw one up because he was dumb and didn't think to do so earlier. As such, I may be slow to reply while I am doing this. Plus, I now have 53 Psionic Kittens to take care of. Damn it.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15949683
...51,52,53!
53! 53 PSIONIC KITTIES!
AHAHAHHAAH!

rolled 35 = 35

M'lords, I beg your favor, but I must object to the current battle plans Sir Kahl has proposed.

One such as myself does not doubt that opening relations with our neighbors, the Blackmoors, would undoubtedly help us in our struggle against the tyranny of Golarion, and that opening a seaport to expand trade would likewise be in our interests.

However, this one suggests reexamining the plans that have been laid: the marauders from the Wastes may yet hold to their plans to assault Golarion, true, yet consider what should happen if their wrath were then directed against our nation.

The border that is shared with Golarion and the wastes is for to close to our own, and should the bulk of our armies head south to assault the fort, we will be want to defend ourselves from the barbarians.

>>15949743

far*

rolled 61 = 61

>>15949743
Do you think us fools, damn ingrate serf?
How dare you waste our precious time with such dumb quibble?
Your concern honours you, but this is not your problem to think about nor has it been overlooked by us.
Be assured, the Blackguard will not be overrun.
If you want to help, subscribe to our training units and pick up a crossbow.
Now begone don't you insult my intelligence again!

rolled 68 = 68

>>15949743
Wh...what? You must be thinking of Umbra.
Our borders are more secured than Umbra's, and we have reports of /b/arbarians moving towards Umbra.
There is no reason for them to assault us in preference.

>>15949743
>>15949749
>Umbra, bro. And don't worry; Sir Kahl is smart enough to keep the walls manned. The Blackwatch is a separate entity from your main force, and they'll defend the wall.

>>15949797
>>15949798
>>15949799

>Yeah, sorry about the error

Far be it for one such as I to question you, m'lords

After what feels like hours of anticipation, Sir Kahl returns with a finely-drawn map.

"This is a map we were able to make up. It's a couple years out of date, so we tried our best to combine it with Soren's information."

"The Green Sept is located on a cliffside overlooking the Emerald Lake. The Black Forest extends quite close to the gates, which should give us some cover as we approach."

"The west side of this map is, unfortunately, a little raggedy, but there is nothing important there; just more wall."

>Kinda shitty, but it suites our porpoises. Next time, I'll actually do this AHEAD of time.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15949852
Is the a very large graveyard, I spy? In a land with vampires and shady mages, We should be wary of this.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15949852
>shitty
I've seen worse in commercial books.


Anyhow, I think it would be a lot of fun to punish them for being foolish enough to let the forest come so close to their walls.
We can easily shoot their watches from the towers and get to the gates to set them ablaze.
Once that gates are ashes(hopefully by the next day), we could launch an all-out assault.
What really worries me is there might be a reason they keep the woods so close.
Like dark things lurking under the trees.
We must confirm this first. I would hate to see mysnipers slaughtered by werewolfs.

rolled 20 = 20

>>15949852

Here be the plan as I see it:

First, a direct assault will be impossible. The heavily fortified gate would be impassible, and we would crash against it as water on rock.

Therefore, this will turn into a siege, until such time as the gates are open or broken.

>Infantry and approach from the forest, cut off the main road into the fort, prepare siege towers and battering rams
>Cavalry burn the outlying village and graveyard under cover of trebuchet fire and a barrage by our archers, prevent them from summoning dark forces
>Amphibious assault on the docks within the lake
>Spies open the gate the next day, allow our forces in

It appears that part of their wall overlaps the cliff, towards the east on the map. We might be able to demolish it, or it might also serve as the exit to a waste chute. Another avenue of approach

rolled 38 = 38

What is the climate of Umbra? How likely is a forest fire?

rolled 48 = 48

"We should use the cover of night to sneak an elite tunneler team into the forest at the first X on the edge of the forest, follow the trail and dig behind the castle, we will use it as a way of sneaking our troops in and take them by surprise. Not only that but the tunnel, going under the castle could be filled with explosives and used to collapse it, then with the distraction caused we will send in our war carts and we could have the place sacked quickly with minimal casualties on our side."

rolled 97 = 97

>>15949930
I'd be more worried about enemy scouts and archer's in the trees. If they were filled with beasts the woods wouldn't be so close to the fortress since that would means patrols and supply carriages would be endanger of being attacked. That being said I think the woods are our best bet. We'll stay somewhat spread out and use gorrilla tactics. Burning the gates is good as is having archers pick off whoever tries to put out the fire.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15949999
Forgot pic

rolled 15 = 15

>>15950002
Those hypothetical werewolfs would BE their scouts.

rolled 77 = 77

>>15949852
That forest has werewolves in it. It totally has werewolves in it. An army marching through may be ambushed at a critical time unless we deliberately make sure it is secure.

>>15950010

Surely you jest, ser

A more appropriate sight would be found to the west on the map, where the wall is more lightly defended and where such a venture would be supported by an amphibious assault

Here are the main paths of assault as I see them

rolled 19 = 19

>>15950050
I'm drunk and my quads say it's a damn good plan.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15950050
Do we have a way to get any sort of naval vessels to the oceans? We don't exactly have coastal boarders unless I'm missreading the map.

>>15949916
"Yes," says Sir Kahl, "It is a common Umbran practice. It gives their foul blood-sorcerers an easy source of material to use in battle."

>>15949930
"There must be a reason that they allow the forest to grow so close to the gate..." You think to yourself, "Sir Kahl? What do you think?"

Kahl nods. "Aye. It's likely a trap. I would assume their Wolf-Men know the area well, and I know the fortress is controlled by one, meaning there are likely many more there. Good thing we have those silver weapons. The only way to confirm this would be to scout the area, however."

>>15949971
"We could... set the forest ablaze, perhaps?"

Kahl shakes his head.

"No, my Lord. Too wet right now. Besides, I don't know that our new druid friends would approve of all the slaughtered beasts... And I like my new leg."

>>15950002
"Then it looks like we'll have to use subversive tactics. We'll take our troops in through the forest, and attempt to take out their watch towers before burning through the gate."

Kahl nods. "That seems like an excellent plan, my Lord."

Suddenly, a Scribe enters.

"My lord! Some Dwarven smiths are here to see you! Something about "a sword that will pierce the heavens?"

>>15950081
>Your quads talk to you? You should ask Wrex about that.

>>15950087

I'm thinking even more basic: swimming

Gather a force of no more than ten men, armed with daggers, firestarters, and garb befitting those living within the fortress, and have them swim to the docks

From thence, have them wait for a signal, mayhaps a flaming arrow or a horn?

rolled 31 = 31

>>15950050
An amphibious assult is unnecessary and dangerous.
Have you not seen the ballistas pointed into the lake?
Those could sink our men with no effort.
No, we have more chances if we just dig into the fortress.
Once we can capture their positions from inside and use them as our own, we can shoot them in the back from their own inner walls.

How many soldiers are we working with?

How many can we expect them to have?

>>15950118

They have ballista, aye, yet can ballista shoot men swimming through the black lake, in the dead of night?

I don't doubt your plan ser; why not combine the operations?

Having men where they are least expected is the core of any military operation, and the more confusion that can be wrought the better.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15950088
What's the blade's name?
Kamina?

rolled 16 = 16

>>15950050
What is this, in the east? You want to have men climb from the water, up a waterside cliff face, into a wall? Everything else seems okay, but this part is suicidal.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15950122
Well we do have those paladins gifted to us by the church. With this much dark magic and undead I think they would be insulted if we didn't bring them.

>>15950122
You have roughly 2,500 soldiers; many are crossbowmen, as well as a few squads of calvary; the rest are infantry. The enemy likely has at least 3,000 soldiers, assuming they call up their conscripts.

rolled 43 = 43

>>15950142
We have:
Paladins - plate armor too heavyto swim in
Dwarfs - can't swim
Crossbowmen - Once their weapons are wet, they are out.

So who do you propose to swim through that lake?
On top of that a lake by a fortress of Umbra!
Who could say what abominations this water houses?

rolled 46 = 46

>>15950088
If the graveyard is stock for battle, we should make it a priority to blow it up very quickly. With explosives.

>>15950146

That was a proposed tunneling expedition, as it looked to be an excellent place to collapse part of the wall.

In addition, there aren't any ballista facing that wall, and a well timed distraction might help us bring it down.

Worry not, I will concede the operation would prove largely fruitless, and am still dedicated to an amphibious assault on the docks.

>Can people in the thread be listed as commanders in the army OP

>>15950169

Crossbowmen, of course

They need not their crossbows for what work need be done

rolled 26 = 26

>>15950088

I like to think of the dwarfs as the dwarfs from oglaf's comics.


Anyway, seconding the swimmers idea. Combine the swimmers and the "chill in the forest, killing sentries and burning gates" ideas.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15950171
With all due respect, what would be the use of a wall over the lake to collapse?
We have no boats and can't attack from there.
If we go the distance and dig a tunnel, then it should be one that matters, that is brings in our men, instead of destroying the fortress we plan to take.

>>15950146
Why not just concentrate half the attack force on the east wall? I mean that would cutt of the enemy massing at the gates on the outer wall from the inner wall and will be trapped between a force besieging and a force within their fort.

So where /co/ on this map?

>>15950152
>>15950169
>>15950170
>>15950171
You know that the paladins will be vital in disrupting the dark energies the blood-sorcerers would use to raise the dead.

Dwarves CAN swim, they just don't like water - they're like manic-depressive, bearded, alcoholic cats. It may be less than useful to drag them away from their tunneling job, however.

You have plenty of infantry that could, hypothetical, commit to this amphibious assault; however, you also have access to Soren's Birdies - all of which are skilled thieves and assassins.

rolled 45 = 45

So, uh, why not tunnel directly into the fortress?

We will spew forth like demons from hell itself!

>>15950186

>I need a name or something

Let us simplify our plans thusly:

[1] Lead an assault on the graveyard, lead by cavalry and covered by our crossbowmen, to prevent them raising an army of skeleton soldiers

[2] Begin tunneling under the walls of the fort, at a spot to be decided later. I suggest the west part of the fort, where the wall is weakest.

[3] Send a small group of men to act as spies and take the docks, then wait for a signal at which they will act to open to main gates of the fort. In addition, spread poison and try to assassinate important men.

>>15950199
>>15950227
You tell the scribe to ask the smiths to please wait for a few moments, as you summon Urvash Strongbeard.

"So, we gonna sock it to these filthy kobold-fuckers or what?" He asks, taking a swig of what you think is ale.

You nod.

"Yes. Look at this map..."

He proceeds to look over the map, and nods.

"Yeah... We can make due with that. If we can get a hole started in the woods without being discovered, we can have a tunnel inside the walls in about... four or five days. But you'd have to distract them in the meantime."

rolled 49 = 49

>>15950188 here
disregard that post, this guy's
>>15950231
ideas are better.

>>15950202
The graveyard is in the east. I would not want to put my siege forces there. Knowing Umbran magicians, we may find nasty little bony critters joining us at a very inopportune time.

I think we should see if our stout friends will sap the western gates. We get in, burn the town and lay siege. That or continue to burn the gates if they're still wooden and stay on the secondary walls with our crossbows shooting anyone that strays outside the inner keep.

Oh god I hope that's not stupid.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15950256
Thats good. I think in the mean time we should blow up that crypt in the graveyard. It just screams secret entrance/escape.

>>15950274

Son of a bitch I feel stupid.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15950280
Speaking of which do you think the might be any tunnels or basement levels under the fortress?

>>15950274
>>15950290
Disregard. I am full of fail.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15950231
Yes, those birdies could indeed swim into the fortress at night.

Assassinations could be useful but they can also do sabotage jobs.
Those ballistas should not work, for instance.
If they can open the gates, we have about won, but this is the last step to take.
We must siege them and distract them from our tunnelling.
Thus they must never know of the dwarfs.
I propose carrying them there in barrels or dressing them up as whatever.

>>15950280
You smile.

"This is good to know, Stonelord Urvash. However, there is one other thing... You see that crypt?"

Urvash nods.

"Aye. I know how these Umbrans are. I think we can probably have a couple of our boys dig beneath the graveyard, and place some... surprises."

>>15950280

Agreed


>>15950298

Excellent thoughts. I like this guy

Well gentlemen, is our plan completed?
>Other people should make up names too, we can join the council

>>15950315

derp, forgot mah name

>>15950298
You turn to Soren.
"We may need to make use of your birdies. We need to take care of their ballistae, and to help sow confusion amongst our foes. Between that, and our forces sieging them from above, they will never think of the dwarves below."

Soren bows.

"It will be as you wish, my lord; I shall send a flock to do as you ask."

>>15950296
"You know..." Begins Urvash, "There may be some... complications... with tunneling beneath the fortress. It is likely that they have storage rooms, cellars, maybe even crypts, below it. Our miners may need a bit of back-up from your own forces."

>Names

New player and totally using this name.

I also support using the birdies for sabotage. GM, are the ballistas by the docks the only ones? or are they the only ones we know of?

Captcha: Battle; ipsoll. Yes captcha, ipsoll shall fall to us in time.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15950347
They shall always be backed up with at least two paladins and six of our shortes crossbowmen.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15950375

Dis playa here, he knows his shit.

rolled 79 = 79

Thinking about the best place to hit surface.
The least likely route to intersect with their cellars and crypts would be between the eastern wall and the graveyard, then coming up by those bushes in the inner town.
We should be able to go their unseen.
And the dwarfes shall avoid the houses.
I would hate them to start listening for our diggers.

rolled 32 = 32

>>15950347

Here's what our birds have planned, then:

>Swim to the docks
>Dress as average citizens
>Poison water supply, some lethal, some hallucinogens, etc.
>Hide for most of the day
>Set unimportant stuff on fire, distract the people
>Steal important documents if possible
>Disable ballistae
>Prepare to open the gates

If something catastrophic occurs, we will send up a signal flare. By catastrophic, we mean: oh god they've decided to attack, or, oh god they're going to try raising an army of skeletons

rolled 6 = 6

>>15950375
Speaking the paladins. Do were they taught any holy magic by the church? Any wards, runes or blessings that would either weaken the dark magic or protect our forces from our file foes.

rolled 45 = 45

Sorry I'm late - Eurofag here, so didn't realise it'd start this late.

We need to sap the main entrance, and have some of Soren's spies to slip in and carry out some sabotage. Then we launch our assault.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15950413
>Poison water supply, some lethal, some hallucinogens, etc.
Only the kegs and barrels, bro.
We would need to drink that water, too.
And walking like a mile to get clean water is a hassle, ask any African.
Also it would stand against the purpose of a fortress.

rolled 65 = 65

I think include a pair of birdies if possible in the tunneling teams. That way, if the teams intersect a cellar, the assasins can go up, clean house, and we can use it as a surprise staging point behind enemy lines.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15950389
Supportin'!

rolled 51 = 51

>>15950457
I agree with this. Poisoning the water supply could too easily back fire on us.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15950441
We're kinda past that stage.
We are currently dicussing how to do so.

>>15950457

I know bro, I was thinking of focusing our hits on the inner fort, not the outer city

>>15950467
Agreed

rolled 62 = 62

>>15950475
>>15950467
>>15950389

This stuff, basically. We need as many people inside the fort as possible to sow chaos and allow our main force in.

rolled 98 = 98

Oh, and we will need a choir and / or orchestra from the temple.
When we siege, then those creatures of darkness shall get an earfull of our faith.
Also it might drown our digging, making it less likely to find 9000+ zombies behind any cellar wall.

>>15950506

Got it under control


I'm still a little worried about the assault on the graveyard; what happens if we aren't fast enough and they start raising skeletons? Or if some vault has forces stored inside waiting for us?

>>15950375
hang on. Crossbows, in an underground tunnel? They wouldn't get much done beyone shooting the paladins in the back.

>>15950375
>>15950389
>>15950467
"Worry not," You tell Urvash Reassuringly, "We will have a pair of paladins and some crossbowmen cover your miners. Perhaps some birdies as well."

Sir Kahl clears his throat.

"Not to be... impertinent, sire... But I fear you may be ignoring some... other matters..."

You realize you forgot about the smiths.

Kahl smiles.

"Don't worry, my liege; Urvash and I will finalize the battle plans, and bring you our report after you are finished."

>>15950538
oh yeah, we need to go check out that sword.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15950467

Man, why we gotta kill innocents? Dat shit ain't fly. We gotta show da common man our solidarity. None-a dat slaughterin' bidness. How we gon' hold dat shit down if we sittin on a angry beehive?

rolled 35 = 35

>>15950544
keep fucking up my roll.

rolled 16 = 16

>>15950526
Probably need to send in our amphibious spies first, so they can check it out for us before we move our forces in.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15950538
Go check out your sword. Let your generals continue to debate over the best plan of attack. Its mostly just down to the finer details any ways.

rolled 25 = 25

>>15950538
We aren't planning on actually using a sword, are we? We are a king, not a soldier.

>>15950546
We could always just kidnap them instead of stabbing them. Catch them sleeping, gag and hogtie, run em back through the tunnels and keep em behind our lines till the buisness is done.

rolled 79 = 79

Go to the dwarf smiths to see what bro-tier sword they've made for us - we need to bro-fist these guys, they've been nothing but awesome to us.

>>15950569
Maybe not but ignoring such a fine gift would be extremely insulting to one of our most valuable alliances.

rolled 79 = 79

>>15950526
It will be our first target and we will surely not stumble into their lair. We pour oil into there and get the hell out. Then we blast the shit up.

>>15950530
They will be prepared when they break the wall. The crossbows are to greet what is past the hole, the paladins are to sit before them and smite what evil may try and get them. Two heavily armored guys are enough to hold a breach. They are essentially a shield for our regulars.

>>15950569

King? We're just a minor lord, ruler of the smallest of the 5 provinces of /tg/ by a long way.

The birdies and I promise to keep our innocent killing to a minimum; however, important military officers are still fair game, right?

rolled 75 = 75

>>15950569
Even if we don't fight (and we should, it'd raise morale), having a pimp sword to wave around during speeches to the troops will help.

>>15950590
Anybody in a uniform. Soldiers or officers.

rolled 77 = 77

>>15950590
If not them, what is?

rolled 93 = 93

>>15950569
Even if we don't fight (and we should, it'd raise morale), having a pimp sword to wave around during speeches to the troops will help.

>>15950590
>>15950609
>>15950613


Although, important military officers are unlikely to be just chilling in a peasants house.

>>15950613
>>15950609

Excellent.

Should the birdies leave the nest to prepare, or should we wait to learn of this magic sword?

rolled 66 = 66

fucking 4chan multiposting >.<

rolled 10 = 10

>>15950627
But even they will be alone eventually.
And then they will find a silver-tipped bear trap under their pillow.

>>15950635

Both?

rolled 3 = 3

>>15950635
Yay, magic sword!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twc6s_Gq9No

You know what we gotta do in the future? Contact the Federation of /m/echanica and get some war machines built for us. Not like ballistae, I'm talking full on steam powered battle armor.

Unless I'm unaware of things that have changed, /m/ and /tg/ have always been on good terms. And considering that /m/ also maintains ties with /co/, we might well gain an ally by doing so.

Of course, if all this follows what's really going on, later on we might just enlist some... Paranormal help. But like I said, that's a long way to come and doesn't even really need a roll yet. Just throwing it out there to consider for later.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15950661
Aye, both.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15950661

I'm just curious to see if it will affect our plans in any way.

Regardless, the birdies and I shall go. The night before you want the gates open, or the night before the tunnel is complete, send up a single flare. As they saying goes, we will "let the Lord of Chaos rule"

rolled 92 = 92

>>15950681
However, /m/ is only a place of myth and legend, since it isn't on the map. Same with those asking where /co/ is.

>>15950573
>>15950569
>>15950567
Kahl and Urvash leave the throne room, and the dwarven smiths from earlier enter.

They are carrying something wrapped in a strange, silvery silk; as they approach, they take a knee, offering it to you.

You take the object, and the silk slips through your fingers, revealing a sword that seems to radiate light like a miniature sun.

Its blade is obviously silvered, and it has the sigil of your house engraved along it. The grip and pommel is seemingly made of solid gold, but from its weight, you realize it is some sort of metal you have never laid eyes on.

"That be Gemsteel, my lord," says one of the smiths, "As beautiful as gold, but as durable as the earth."

"We even had your priestesses enchant it!" Pipes up another smith, barely able to contain his excitement.

>>15950709
Well this should be obvious. Find out what the enchantment is

rolled 35 = 35

What enchantments has it been given, sir Dwarfs? This is craftsmanship of beauty, I thank you for the glorious gift.

>>15950741
>>15950709

Then take a few practice swings to get used to the feel of it.

>>15950709

What is our sigil, by the way? From the looks of the image it's two dragon heads facing each other, which could be cool, but I doubt you made that image on your own (no offense or anything).

>>15950745
You stop admiring the blade for a moment to speak to the dwarves.

"What sort of enchantment, my good dwarves?"

The smith who brought it up grins excitedly.

"They say, that it will cut through any normal armor or weapon as if it were made of nothing more than air!"

"And that even the slightest wound from it will slowly burn creatures of darkness from the inside, until they are no more!"

rolled 66 = 66

>>15950796

Guys... I think Forchania is hinting that we should fight in person. Let's go for it.

>>15950763
>Um... Sure, let's go with that. I'm lazy like that.

>>15950812

We might have to, sadly

Although he may be killed, of course

Have you considered a body double?

rolled 88 = 88

>>15950812

I say we save it for the inevitable plot point, rather than risk our lives at the front! Unless we're like renowned field commanders or warriors. Are we?

>>15950812
>*Insert Evil Laugh*

rolled 79 = 79

>>15950826
>>15950829

Sorry to metagame for a moment but I doubt he's going to end his own quest thread by leting us die in the first battle.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15950814
To reflect the way we make decisions, how about a hydra?
laughingAlphariusandOmegon.jpg

>>15950826
>>15950829
>You've fought your share of battles; a nobleman of /tg/ is expected to be a skilled warrior. You served on the Blackwatch for a short while, and slayed many /b/arbarians in your time.

rolled 26 = 26

Take some practice swings, we need to get a feel for the blade if we are to use it in battle.

Give these two Dwarfs titles - like "Honoured Smiths of the House of Dessex", to show our appreciation.

rolled 20 = 20

>>15950861

Seconding

rolled 36 = 36

>>15950854

ah

Can the birdies petition the dwarfs for some tools of our own?

A wrist-mounted needle-shooter/dart-thrower would be exceedingly nice

Unless we already have those

>>15950861

Thirding

rolled 27 = 27

>>15950848
This! It totally fits.

>>15950861

DO THIS

Also, did we ever decide if the dwarfs work in the same way as the dwarfs from Oglaf

That would be hilarious

>>15950885

I think we should be wary of our continued requests of the Dwarves, Taybur. They are our greatest allies, but we have done very little but ask things of them. Give them some time to attend to their own needs.

>>15950861
You look over the blade for a moment longer, before suddenly turning, and taking a swing at a standing suit of armor beside your throne.

There is a loud screech, and a flash of light and heat, and suddenly, the top half of the armor falls to the ground, the edges of your cut glowing red-hot.

You turn to the dwarves.

"Friends, you have truly given me a weapon worthy of legend. From this day forth, you shall be known as the Honored Smiths of House Dessex. I would like to ask to hire you on as my personal armorers."

The two dwarves look like they are about to squeal with joy.

"Yes!"
"Certainly!"
"Eitri and Sindri, at your service!"

>Also, it is decided; your sigil is a Hydra. I'll start work on the Shoop immediatly.

>"Jedediah Witonsi"
>New NPC, Captcha? Maybe.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15950848

Thirding this, our banner shall be the hydra!

Also we should lead the strike into their castle fortress or whatever with the dwarves.

>>15950918
SIIIINDRIIIIIIIIIIIIII

rolled 11 = 11

>>15950933
Excellent!

rolled 81 = 81

>>15950843

you mean like 'the siege starts. You get shot by a stray bolt. Everyone walk the dinosaur.'?

I'd say that would be too much wasted effort on a cool quest like this one.

now, to stay on topic. Perhaps some sort of diversion would be in order? Are there any other points of interest in the area we could stage a mock raid on before starting the assault proper?

rolled 20 = 20

>>15950939

And challenge their leader to one on one combat! WIth out monster slaying silver sword his werewolf ass will be no match for us!

This is now your house's theme.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLnwkHQIGdE&hd=1

>>15950948
>That would be lame. If I was just going to have you killed, I'd at least make it awesome.
>...
>I'm not going to kill you, though. Or, at least, not TRY to.

As Eitri and Sindri leave, you try to decide on what to do next.

You have a plan of attack, you have an awesome sword, Kahl's leg is fixed, you have an awesome sword, the /b/arbarians are fixing to shove their army up Umbra's asshole...

Oh, and did we mention you have an awesome sword? Because you totally do.

>>15950997
>This is now Cannon. I plan on listening to this whenever I start up another one of these threads. And during the battle. And while I eat.

>Actually, I think I'll just listen to it forever.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15951002
Right. Three threads of planning later, I think its time we put those plans into motion. Let's get shit done.

>>15951022

Tylenol Jones supports this.

>>15951022
>>15951045

Thirded. Dessexians! Tonight we dine in hell!

rolled 45 = 45

Call all your advisors together once they have finished their tasks.

"MY FRIENDS! Soon we shall begin to blaze Dessex's path to GLORY! It is our time to show the board that we are not idle conjurors of cheap tricks! But rather, we are the masters of our own fate! And they would do well ro remember our glory!"

Toast!

"But for tonight, let us use this last free evening to get pissed! For things shall get far more interesting from now on!"

Raise goblet/glass/flagon

"TO THE MOUNTAINHOMES! THE DRUIDS! THE PALADINS! THE GLORY! AND THE MIGHT OF DESSEX!"

And then get drunk.

rolled 83 = 83

>>15951022
Seems about right.
We should make a lordly speech to the men just before we depart. Start on high spirits.

rolled 98 = 98

While our army marches into battle, I need the appointed crossbowmen (18) and paladins (6)to train inside our wagons to simulate tunnel fighting.

From our newly minted Honored Smiths, I need:

18 silverbladed daggers
18 compact crossbows, nothing special, really
18 cuirasses
6 silverbladed maces
6 bucklers

This should be enough to equip our tunnel rats for close-quarter fighting.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15951151

hear, hear.

DAY 1
>Arrive at fort
>Offer the Lord's men the courtesy of surrendering now
>He declines
>Declare a siege on the city
>Host of army waits in forest
>Tunnel construction begins
>Skirmishing along the wall

NIGHT 1
>Cavalry attack on the graveyard (diversion)
>Lob fire arrows over the walls (distraction)
>Birdies fly to the lake, and land on the docks

DAY 2
>Continued skirmishing
>Prepare to assault the graveyard
>Tunnel continues
>Birdies plant explosives in empty homes
>Assasinate military officers if possible

NIGHT 2
>Assault on the graveyard

DAY 3
>Clear graveyard entirely
>If their lord charges, meet his forces
>Do NOT reveal the sword yet*
>Tunnel continues
>Birdies sneak into the main castle

NIGHT 3
>Continued diversions along the wall

DAY 4
>Assault the west lower wall (distraction)
>Tunnel continues

NIGHT 4
>Launch flare to alert Birdies
>Tunnel finishes

DAY 5
EARLY MORNING
>Birdies open the gates
>Cavalry charges in
>Infantry through the tunnel + gates
>Birdies set off explosives
>NOW reveal the sword as you sweep through the city

*Up for debate

Is our mission to take or destroy the castle?

Because if it's destroy, could we use some sort of druid-dwarf combo to collapse it from below and then swarm the ruins?

>>15951194

Take. We don't want to waste time building a new one if we destroy it.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15951194
Take it. We cannot forge an empire on ruins.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15951184
If you do distractions, you need something to immediately distract from.
What do those attacks conceal?

>>15951206

Indeed. We are civilised men of /tg/, not /b/arbarians.

>>15951184

Mind you, the explosives would be in empty homes, only set off to cause some chaos

And who doesn't love the smell of napalm in the morning?

rolled 64 = 64

>>15951194
Ideally take, I think. It has a town attached, which are always good to occupy for money, production.

>>15951184

Since the enemy likely have necromancers I would destroy the graveyard as soon as possible. It may only take moments for them to raise an army.

>>15951215

Two things mainly:

One the first night, to allow the Birdies a cover to reach the lake and enter the city

Of the course of the siege, to prevent them from determining we are mining our way in

>>15951239

By all means take it as you wish

That's just how I had pictured the operation

rolled 22 = 22

>>15951239
I agree, crypt-clearing should be the first priority.

rolled 91 = 91

>>15951240
Ok, that makes sense.
We should not tell our soldiers, though.
It would make them fight defensively and that would blow the ruse

>>15951276

Sounds like a plan

Onwards to glory!

Sirs, might we not consider the possibility of destroying the undead before they are a threat? For assuredly, if we have tunnelled into the city itself, an excursion into the crypt with mallets would be all that is required to rid ourselves of the threat. These undeads are naught but brittle bones until called upon by the dark forces, unless I miss my guess more than I imagine. Who would come upon us there? For what call is there to place guard in a crypt while an enemy assaults the walls?

rolled 55 = 55

>>15951322
That has already been decided on some number of posts ago, my verbose friend.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15951322
Which crypt?
It's not like we had a big arrow pointing at the surely hidden location of any possible central crypt of the necromancers.

Also: Papaya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XzLbGssArQ

>>15951342
Apologies, I was under the impression from the battle layout that we were going to have a bunch of horsemen run in and risk their necks instead of just one or two crossbowmen who were already in the tunnels.

>>15951084
>>15951093
>>15951151
>>15951169
>>15951068
You call in your advisors to the grand dining hall.

As everyone is seated, you rise from the table, goblet of mead in hand.

"MY FRIENDS! Soon we shall begin to blaze Dessex's path to GLORY! It is our time to show the world0 that we are not idle conjurors of cheap tricks! But rather, we are the masters of our own fate! And they would do well ro remember our glory!"

You see Sir Kahl start to grin, along with a few other nobles.

"But for tonight, let us use this last free evening to get pissed! For things shall get far more interesting from now on!"

Now Urvash is looking a lot more interested.

"TO THE MOUNTAINHOMES! THE DRUIDS! THE PALADINS! THE GLORY! AND THE MIGHT OF DESSEX!"

The room erupts into a boiling cauldron of cheers and shouts, and you know that the upcoming battle will be sung about for years to come.

>All right, I'm gonna set up an archive, and get to work organizing my notes for the fight. I should be back shortly.

>>15951363
If our birdies are clearing the place out...can't they jsut bring along mallets, find the room with lots of skeletons/coffins in it, and do the rest? It's kind of a thiefish task anyways, dark crypts and all that.

>>15951386

That post made me warm inside. Forchania is +1 GM of awesome.

TO WAR!

>>15951184

I'd shy away from any assault on the graveyard at night- no telling that kind of nasty they may have after dark.. perhaps send in a skirmish team at twilight to plant our explosives? Then light up the night!

rolled 58 = 58

>>15951386
My deepest apologies, Sirs, but I shall retire for the night.
Carry on the good fight!

>ARCHIVE LINK
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15949094/

>>15951363
Also thank you for the bouncy electric German song.
Imagine this noble making these suggestions while doing jazz hands and kind of singing in that guy's voice.

>>15951427

Rearrange as you will; I merely sought to simplify our plans

I'll be in the city with my birdies anyway

>>15951429
Good night, Sir Astartes. We shall need your strength on the morrow.

>>15951429

Farewell Astartes!

Its 9:42am here. So I'm gonna be around for a while.

rolled 14 = 14

For Dessex, for glory!

*downs flagon of ale*

>Oncet recovering - yep Captcha, tomorrow is the onset of recovering from our hangover, but tonight we celebrate!

>>15951444

Just trying to save us casualties - the less dead guys in the graveyard the less Zombified allies we have do... deal with later.

rolled 13 = 13

2.45am here, so I'll probably be around for another hour or so, since I had an hour or two nap after tea :P

How much thought have we put into dealing with the werewolves? The undead aren't the only monsters out there...

>>15951526
Can't a few of the birdies sneak aboveground in normal clothes and plant the bombs? Let's eliminate as much actual battle from the parts of our plan leading up to the final assault, draws too much attention and also unnecessary loss of life.

>>15949094, What a stupid fucking map. It looks like a fucking chicken. You guys are homos playing in backwards stupid fucking chicken land. Have a great game.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15951581
Our veterans are all equipped with silvered blades - they should be fine against werewolves.

>>15951640
>LOL, it does kind of look like a backwards chicken.

rolled 82 = 82

I have a awesome speech writen here...For before the battle.

>I think I am going to start up a new thread for the battle; I get the feeling it will auto-sage half way through otherwise. I'll post a link when I do.

>>15951655

I hope that's enough.

So whats the plan now GM?

>New Thread
>>15951797

rolled 46 = 46

Let's try to avoid civilian casualties, after generations of living under Evil Vampires, insane, reality-Warping Mages, and ravenous Werewolves, they'll probably be picking up torches and pitchforks and storming the castle alongside us if we don't act like assholes.