- chatted with Eldar captive, brainwashed/seduced some more and planned to make her your waifu as part of yet-to-be-fully-realized scheme to convert Eldar to Chaos
- called for war council, formed schemes
- got attacked by Eldar ships
- warpstorm got created and your war council was teleported onto the Eldar flagship
- butchered a bunch of Eldar, captured about a dozen and converted one to Chaos
- encountered the ship’s High Seer and her retinue
- threw a dreadclaw at her, had Ahriman take her to ship
- killed some more Eldar
- encountered elite Eldar force, scared the shit out of them so bad they fled in terror
- had Eldar fleet surrender, raped two Seers
- found the wounded Noddaba, had half your boarding party wiped out by a Wraith-Giant
- fought with Wraith-Giant that you eventually corrupted with warp energies
- raped some bitches
- found Master of Hounds with half of body missing, sent to jokaero to be turned into an FMA-style cyborg
- got back to Spirit of Vengeance with Eldar captives
- attempted to convert High Seer to chaos, got her extremely pissed
- High Seer goes berserk and kills a converted Eldar, attacks Kharn
- bloody/sexy/awesome fight occurs, you record the entire thing

FUCK YEAH.

FUCK YES.

Let's do this shit, motherfuckers.

First off, can we punch Time? We can punch the Warp, so we should be able to punch Time.

Awwh Yeah, Abaddon Quest.

rolled 95 = 95

Punch the warpstorm right in it's smug face with sindri.

STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP YOU FUCKS.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15926431
I think at the moment we should stop Arihman and Kharn from fucking each other up.

At least until we get an arena set up for them.

rolled 48 = 48

Whatever happens, I'm rolling for summoning Doombreed and making him our personal bitch.

>(sorry for the gap, internet is being a dildo again)

- got a bunch of champions and their retinues together to go on a mission to rescue Typhus
- made planetfall using bikes, killed some dinosaurs while riding through the jungle, found a hostile Malal cultist
- found diseased dinosaurs and followed them while rocking out in the jungle
- discovered Typhus in a plagued jungle
- found another Malal cultist, had him beaten and captured
- looked over status reports and called for war council
- convinced Kharn to force the High Seer into loving him
- during war council, Kharn and High Seer are soon found on table murdering each other
- Ahriman loses it
- Ahriman proceeds to insult you and claim you are an incompetent, overly-horny kill-crazy and that he’s had enough crap
- he then got murdered and brought back to life, told not to question you again
- short time rolling from Ahriman’s perspective, Tzeentch caused him to have a revelation and forgives you
- tell champions to have a massive rape orgy with Eldar prisoners while you and Ahriman visit the High Seer
- High Seer, now Asuya, got psychoanalyzed by Ahriman while you cried about daddy issues
- SUDDENLY SLAANESH IS BORN
- got knocked out, woke up and found warp storm covering ship
- decide to rape Asuya while she’s out (WHY), then voxed Kharn and said Ahriman fucked her
- had trippy hallucinations caused by mysterious warp goo
- fly out into spacer and punched the warp storm off your ship using the power of Khorne
- got back to ship, instantly met by Kharn who attacked Ahriman

You watch as Ahriman pulls himself back up, a bit of blood dripping out from his helm. Kharn slowly strides over to the sorcerer, his hands tightened into fists and ready to strike again.

“What the FUCK was that for?!” Ahriman yells at the champion of Khorne.

Kharn roars back. “YOU SCREWED MY BITCH, YOU BITCH!” He shouts as he points his hand towards Asuya.

You see the High Seer’s brow furrow and her teeth bar as she mutters a harsh “What the fuck…”

Ahriman spits a bit of blood onto the ground. “What the hell are you talking about?! I didn’t-“

Before the sorcerer can finished he is tackled by Kharn, who knocks him back onto the ground. “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!”

What now, warmaster?

(rolls are 1d100 with higher being better, and any rolls of 66, 77, 88, or 99 will result in that action being chosen above all and "enhanced", as it has clearly been blessed by the Dark Gods)

(ALSO, this is probably going to the last Abaddon Quest thread for a while, and the session will be much shorter as I’m heading off to Germany today)

rolled 41 = 41

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15894168/#15896599

continuing

rolled 30 = 30

>>15926522
yeah.

but after we break the too off.

And let him know he fucked a goo version of his Waifu.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15926516
kill 'em all

rolled 64 = 64

>>15926522
Also continuing.

AND WE NEED ROBOT SPIDER ARMS COMING FROM OUR BACK.

So we can hold a chainsword in both hands, AND fire off 4 bolter pistols at once.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15926516
NO FIGHTING OR I SMACK BOTH OF YOU

rolled 1 = 1

>>15926522
yeah.

but after we break the too off.

And let him know he fucked a goo version of his Waifu.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15926522
yeah.

but after we break the too off.

And let him know he fucked a goo version of his Waifu.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15926532
KILL THEM BOTH!

rolled 75 = 75

>(ALSO, this is probably going to the last Abaddon Quest thread for a while, and the session will be much shorter as I’m heading off to Germany today)

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

rolled 60 = 60

>>15926533
Yes. Robot spider arms.

Four of them, able to support our body weight individually, and grab things for us.

Also they have built in lasguns. Five for each.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15926541
sry . my net is fucked up

rolled 61 = 61

>>15926564
KILL THEM BOTH AND RAPE THE WITCH

rolled 93 = 93

>>15926564
Eat Ahrimans soul and bind him to something >:)

rolled 20 = 20

>>15926569
>>15926533
>>15926522
>>15926558
All of these. Robot arms, goo waifu, not getting the sorcerer killed. That kinda thing.

rolled 59 = 59

Tell them to take it to the arena.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15926579
>>15926576
NOT THIS!


>>15926522
please this.

>>15926576
FUCK IT. KILL AHRIMAN, RESSURECT HIM THEN MAKE ELIPHAS BLOW YOU

rolled 49 = 49

>>15926522
>>15926473
rthese.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15926595
dice

rolled 85 = 85

"Kharn, if you're going to kill him at least have the decency to do it in the dueling pits."

rolled 94 = 94

Gonna have to go with Spiderman 2 Doc Octopus robot arms.

Also, make sure Ahriman DOES NOT DIE. He's kind of, you know, IMPORTANT. And he only tapped a pile of goo, nothing more.

And educate Kharn on exactly how stupid he is. He needs to think with his brain, not his fist. That's our job.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15926516
shout "ZAPP MOTHERFUKERS" and use Sindri to restrain them both with warp majicks, then get an arena set up, charge for tickets, take bets etc,

inform them both fully of the situation, (without revealing our hand in the raping), say they can fuck each-other up however the hell they want, but the damage can't be permanent and no killing.

oh and last man concious wins.

(we can also rig up some delicious traps and/or complications to further enhance the spectacle.

rolled 61 = 61

dance.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15926576

THE WITCH IS CLEARLY AFTER THE ALPHA, BROTHER.

LETS BREAK THE TOO OFF, SHOWING OUR DOMINANCE AND ALPHANESS AND HAVE HER HUNT FOR OUR DICK NOT US AFTER HER PUSSY. WITHOUT MIDFUCKER SORCERY.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15926604
Seriously, you guys. We can't just go around raping things forever. That's retarded.

This, if only because it's NOT retarded.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15926488
"Kharn it was Slaanesh fuckery, turns out Ahriman didn't fuck her. Although if you still want to fight we can always set up some kinda duel."

rolled 37 = 37

Raise your sword to Kharn's throat. Tell him to stop trying to murder our sorcerer immediately.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15926604
COME ON, DUBS.

CAN'T LET >>15926600 >>15926595 win.

rolled 52 = 52

Tell them to duel it out in a public area.

Then start selling tickets to the event.

rolled 59 = 59

Slap Kharn's shit.
Then tell him that you were lying and just messing around.

rolled 96 = 96

Use sindri to bind Ahriman and Kharn together yet totally incapable of harming one another.

Then sorcery it up and bind them to the same body. genderswap like.

at one sneeze the body becomes Ahriman. at the next sneeze it becomes Kharn.


Or when any water splashes over them. or something to change them on a daily basis.


Then seduce the High Seer Asuya with both sweet chaos ideology and our charismatic persona and make her swoon after us, but refuse her pleasure claiming we are 'in a relationship'

>>15926621
"Eliphas, get on your knees!"

rolled 79 = 79

>>15926656
shit, rollan'

rolled 23 = 23

>>15926516
SERIOUSLY GUYS?

I JUST PUNCHED A WARP-STORM!

IN SPACE.

WITHOUT A HELMET.

AND YOU'RE TELLING ME WE AREN'T GOING TO CELEBRATE THIS AWESOME VICTORY WITH CHAOS-Y SHIT, BUT INSTEAD I HAVE TO SORT OUT YOUR ROMANCE-CONFLICTS.


AND I THOUGHT TODAY WAS GOING TO BE FUN....

or something to that effect. We have more important things to do than play who raped who and who should get warp-punched.

>>15926661
re-roll

rolled 10 = 10

>>15926655


THIS! THIS! THIS!

We make the too fucks the same person that at one incident change body with armour and gear too, and then make the bitch want our cock ,but go...

"Sorry, i am not avialable at the moment."

rolled 72 = 72

>>15926666
fuck, not again

rolled 28 = 28

>>15926662
Yell this. You are pissed and we then do this:
>>15926655

>>15926621
ROLLING FOR NO 'rape rape rape'.

rolled 79 = 79

Get Kharn off Ahriman and tell him you actually screwed his waifu.

rolled 1 = 1

DANCE
EAT A STEAK
SUMMON DOOMBREED AND MAKE HIM YOUR BITCH
FUCKERS

rolled 54 = 54

>>15926685
DAMN YOU DICE.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15926684
re-rollan

rolled 25 = 25

Let them fight it out a bit. Eat a steak as you watch.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15926688
SHIT ROLL IS TOO SHIT
REROLLAN

Also, suggest to the two that they sort this out after other affairs have been settled.

Let's check up on dat Eldar orgy.

rolled 86 = 86

ELIPHAS GIVES YOU A BLOWJOB THEN MAKE AHRIMAN FUCK KHARN IN THE POOPER

rolled 69 = 69

Scream and throw Eliphas at both of them.

rolled 80 = 80

STOP THE VIOLENCE.

ACQUIRE FOUR ROBOT TENTACLES.

MAKE DOOMBREED YOUR BITCH.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15926655
THIS MUST BE DONE.

THEN BACK TO WAR-COUNCIL TO SEE IF ELDAR WERE ASSIMILATED.
THEN GATHER DARK ADEPTUS TO SEE IF WE CAN MAKE THE BORK AND HAVE THEM SERVE US , ABADDON HARALD OF CHAOS.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15926613
>>15926699
These.
And do a striptease for Arhiman.

rolled 33 = 33

Head over to the Simian Storage, maybe we can bring some goo with us, they might be able to power cool weapons with it.

Leave the other fuckers bickering, Asuya will eventually sort this out, otherwise it's going to have to be strongest/highest damage dealer/most cunning wins.

rolled 79 = 79

Doombreed, robot arms, blowjob.

GO.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15926702
Eliphas puts your dick in his mouth and Ahriman puts his in Kharn's ass. The Witch may watch.

rolled 3 = 3

>>15926709
ON SECOND THOUGHTS DO THIS

FOR THE GLORY OF NURGLE!

rolled 90 = 90

>>15926713
>>15926709

doing the awesome with Kharn and Ahriman.

Mindfuck on the High seer?

Four robo tentacles?

Elf assimilation ?

BORK?

Sign me up!

rolled 53 = 53

SMACK KHARN FOR ATTACKING AHRIMAN
THEN SMACK AHRIMAN FOR BEING AHRIMAN
THEN SMACK ELIPHAS FOR NOT STOPPING THEM
THEN SMACK KHARN AGAIN
THEN SMACK ASUYA FOR NOT BEING IN THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW

rolled 61 = 61

>>15926725
reroll

rolled 23 = 23

OP, why u no post?

Also, robot arms. Then we use them to make Doombreed work for us, and get a blowjob.

COME ON, 66

rolled 6 = 6

>>15926516
tell kharn to chill the fuck out, tell him you we're kidding

rolled 81 = 81

>>15926733
re-rollan for Awesome!

rolled 69 = 69

>>15926737
once more
What are you waiting for OP? You have two 96s rolled, i believe

rolled 87 = 87

>>15926709
FUCK YEAH COME ON ABADASS

rolled 97 = 97

>>15926734
actually to be honest this usually solves all of our problems...

I suggest we do this, then go off in a huff about how no-one appreciates our Warp-Storm punching. Maybe we can visit our Wife and talk to her about it.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15926734
REROLLING

rolled 42 = 42

>>15926733
Dis git roight here knows wats up.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15926754
eliphas sucks your dick reroll

rolled 27 = 27

>>15926761
Finally, an end to the madness!

rolled 83 = 83

>>15926709
>>15926723
>>15926741
These guys have the right idea. Rollan'

rolled 4 = 4

>>15926761
>>15926758
>>15926734
AND NOW
We watch as the OP was already writing and didn't choose this.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15926772
by allknowing Tzeentch, I summon 99

rolled 18 = 18

>>15926734
Our PIMP hand is strong!

That and tell Kharn it was Slaneshi goo that looked like his waifu that the sick fuck of ahriman "opened her book and wanted to have a really long read" with a fucking creepy face.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15926784
tzeentch laughs at you.

rolled 91 = 91

>>15926784
rerroll
Are you a troll OP?

>mistyped captcha, now it's dumbas spelling
LOL

rolled 24 = 24

>>15926787
yup.

>>15926761

WIN

rolled 70 = 70

>>15926812
hhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
reroll, one last time

rolled 12 = 12

>>15926822
i give up

Did we acquire any Chaos Orks before we left? What about Traitor Guard? Please tell me you dumb fucks brought Traitor Guard.

Also, from reading the archives of the earlier thread, it looks like you guys abandoned a Leman Russ with a hull-mounted Lascannon back on Dinosaur Planet, along with the wreckage of several drop pods and at least one Thunderhawk, not to mention the Powered Armour the Malal Marine was wearing, I'd recommend a mission to exterminate all the Malal fuckers and find out where the fuck they came from, take their stuff, and then burn the jungle around where Typhus landed to make sure Papa Nurgle doesn't completely fuck up all of history.

What happened to those loyalist Alpha Legion anyway?

rolled 84 = 84

>>15926838
>>15926820

THIS IS CHAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>15926761
You deal with this little scuffle the same way you deal with any problem; slapping.

You lash out with Sindri and smack Kharn just as he prepares to pummel Ahriman, knocking him over. As the sorcerer gets back up you smack him as well. You then turn around and slap Eliphas across the face with Sindri. You see Kharn get on his feet and slap him yet again. Finally you turn to Asuya and smack the woman's face hard.

All four of them stare at you for a bit, Eliphas sniffling a little after his smacking. Kharn speaks. "ABADDON, YOU CANNOT LET THE SORCERER GET AWAY WITH THIS DISHONOR! HE HAD HIS WAY WITH MY WOMAN!"

As Ahriman is about to respond, Asuya shrieks viciously. "I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING WOMAN YOU CHUCKLEFUCK!" Suddenly she grabs onto Ahriman by the groin and squeezes. "And you! JUST WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

Ahriman winces and screams. "OW! I-I didn't do anything! I swear!" he shouts "Abaddon, help me out here!"

rolled 57 = 57

>>15926897
"I'll help you only if you suck my dick."

rolled 10 = 10

>>15926838

I support this, I have a feeling loyalist, Crusade-era Alpha Legion appearing out of nowhere is a sign some shit is gonna go down.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15926897
"He didn't do shit. Kharn just can't take a joke, is all. Now, fuck off, I've got shit to do."

Like:

ROBOT ARMS
DOOMBREED ENSLAVEMENT
DEVELOP LATENT TALENT IN SORCERY

rolled 24 = 24

>>15926913
i approve of this

rolled 51 = 51

>>15926922
This! But also:

Convert Dinosaurs To Chaos

For reals, you guys. We have to do this.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15926897

Fine, it seems we have to do everything around here.

Ahriman wasn't fucking your wife, Kharn, it was Chaos goo that LOOKED like her, but technically, he's innocent here.

rolled 97 = 97

>>15926897

Stab Kharn in the face with your dick.

I'm assuming Slaanesh has gifted us with a retractable dick-claw by now.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15926913
reroll

rolled 32 = 32

>>15926913
>>15926937
these

rolled 78 = 78

>>15926897
Jeez lady must have a hell of a grip to make a marine with an armored codpiece cry.

Anyway "Ahriman didn't fuck you but Slaanesh was born from that hugging shit we did earlier. So I wouldn't rule out that you were technically fucked by a god."

rolled 81 = 81

>>15926937

Almost blessed.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15926952
rerolling

rolled 8 = 8

>>15926954

Heh, I'm seconding this suggestion.

rolled 74 = 74

QUIT FUCKING ABOUT
IS WAS SLAANESH WHO FUCKED HER

rolled 40 = 40

>>15926952
seems the dice gods hate me because of blowjobs
nevermind, i'll continue rerolling

rolled 93 = 93

>>15926930
>>15926922
>>15926913
All of these.

LET'S DERP AND HERP UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN.

HURR DURR OUR WAY TO VICTORY.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15926973
again rroll

rolled 61 = 61

>>15926655
Force Ahriman to confess his goo dream, then order Asuya the same. we want to hear more about that girl Elva (possible way to irredeemably corrupt the High ser for ever and get her to our side. perhaps even a foursome with us, our wife kharn an her. with that Elva as a toy)
>>15926897
Threathen to do this if people dont act like on a crusade and think this is the eye of terror.

squabbles are to be resolved in the arena.!

rolled 83 = 83

>>15926897
Explain to Kharn that it was Slaaneshi fuckery.

Tell Ahriman that he better be careful about what go he fucks in future.

And tell Asuya that if she doesn't calm the fuck down then you'll go Elva on her ass. (that should shut her up) also ask her to unhand our sorcerer, as he has work to do.

Tell Kharn to check the ship for any more slaanesh shit/goo and that he can cut up any threat he finds, but that he needs to get that goo collected for WARP DICKERY.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15926988
rerolling!!!!

rolled 34 = 34

>>15926838

Let's ignore the only intelligent suggestion here, that sounds fun.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15926992
>>15926981

these two, for great justice and awesome!

rolled 87 = 87

>>15927007

This man speaks reason. Seconding.

rolled 3 = 3

>>15926981
HERP DERP FIGHT THE POWER

rolled 50 = 50

>>15927016

GODDAMIT KHORNE, STOP DICKING AROUND AND GIVE US A GODDAMN BLESSING ALREADY.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15926981
THIS YESSSSSS
DO EEEEEEEETTTTT

rolled 51 = 51

>>15927007
>>15926930
>>15926922
All of these.

No Chaos Sorcerer blowjobs. No. Nonono.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15927031
herp

>Oh hey I haven't been in an Abaddon Quest thread in awhile, let's see what's going on-
>RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

Nice to see things haven't changed much.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15926981
Re-roll
Slaanesh: HURR
Tzeentch: DURR
Knorne: HURR DURR
Nurgle: HERP DERP DERP

rolled 88 = 88

Why are blessings so hard to come by this thread, they were eevrywhere last time.

also seconding >>15927007

how to roll?

rolled 16 = 16

>>15927052
oh fuck yes.

rolled 35 = 35

>>15926992
>>15927007

This is the way out of this.

That and finding this Elva girl.

Also this:
>>15926838
And checking how the elf assimilation went.
Perhaps allow Kharn and Ahriman in the arena to blow steam and try that overload tactic for further assimilation.
Playing kharn as blade fetishists and ahriman as sorcerer for the two martial figures that eldar seem to love according to the high seer.

>>15927052
DAMMIT.

STOP BEING SO REASONABLE, I WANT A TRAINWRECK.

>>15927052

FUCKING FINALLY.

Seriously, it's nice to see an actual reasonable request get a blessing for once.

Roll?

rolled 19 = 19

>>15927065
>>15927052

INDEED.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15927055
sticky on the front page.

>>15927007

Seconding. Then, after our officers aren't trying to kill each other anymore we do this:

>>15926838

>>15927052
Tired of this crap, you decide it's to break shit up.

You tell Kharn that Ahriman didn't fuck Asuya, and that it was really that faggot screwing around. The champion seems to relax his muscles as he hears you speaks.

You then turn to Ahriman that he should try and not shove his dick into whatever he comes across in the future. The sorcerer nods his head, although still whimpering in pain and Asuya crushes his groin. You demand that she let go of Ahriman before you go "Elva" on her. You see surprise in her eyes before she quickly releases her grasp on the sorcerer.

You face Kharn again and tell him to scour the ship looking for warp goo. You say he may kill anything he comes across but he must still collect the goo.

The Betrayer runs off at your command. Ahriman and Asuya are left behind, both of them just standing in awkward silence. Eliphas speaks up "So...is everything cool now?"

>>15927160

Yes.

Now >>15927160

>>15927161

One post too late I see.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15927160
Yes everything is fine now. Now let's go interrogate that Malal fuckface.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15927160
get to da choppa

rolled 89 = 89

>>15927160
Slap Eliphas

rolled 67 = 67

"Shut the fuck up. I'm sick of babysitting you retards. It's like I'm running a fucking daycare."

Turn 360 degrees and moon walk away, then go and get GLORIOUS ROBOTIC LIMBS.

Then make Doombreed our bitch.

And turn dinosaurs to chaos.

Time to get down to business. Let Ahriman go do his research, and we need to go and interrogate that Malal cultist we have locked up still.

rolled 97 = 97

>>15927195
This, followed by >>15927185

rolled 57 = 57

>>15927196
This.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15927196
STOP TEASING US SLAANESH. YOU DICK.

>>15927185

Changing my vote to this, we interrogate first, exterminate later.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15927204

FUCK

rolling

>>15926413
NEVER EVER MENTION GAYGO AGAIN.

rolled 50 = 50

>>15927160
Ahriman. dangerous goo warp experimentation. now.

Asuya. Try and keep out of trouble and get on with doing whatever the fuck you actually do around here.

Eliphas. We're going to go and Interrogate that Malal mother-fucker we caught.

rolled 91 = 91

>>15927196
This, but with the added suggestion of using Dinosaurs to intimidate the Malal cultists.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15927228

How about we let Asuya aid Ahriman with the research? Although I doubt Kharn would let her be alone with him for any length of time.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15927228
>>15927196
Ebony and Ivory
Go together in perfect harmony

rolled 88 = 88

>>15927237
Re-rolling for Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder.

>>15927246
Apparently Knorne loves that song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZtiJN6yiik

rolled 68 = 68

>>15927228
Asuya is the handmaiden of our waif.
that and our personal assistant.


Khronate Elfdar Sorcerers Secretary for the win.
Dealwithit.jpg

>>15927246
>88

What the hell why is Khorne being the reasonable one in this thread?

rolled 68 = 68

>>15927254
Fund it!
>>15927246
Glorious!

rolled 22 = 22

>>15927260
Maybe he's swallowed his pride and is actually getting some from Slaanesh for a change, and as such isn't as mad as usual?

>>15927283
>getting some from slaanesh
>swallowed his pride

I don't that's all he's swallowed.

EBONY
AND
IVORY

GO TOGETHER IN PERFECT HARMONY

>>15927196
This

>>15927296
Khorne and Slaanesh 69-ing.

OH GOD DO NOT WANT

rolled 12 = 12

>>15927311
I KEEP FORGETTING!!!!

rolled 12 = 12

>>15927329
I'm sure it happens all the time, and they both just love those rusty chainsaws.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15927296
>>15927311
>>15927329
bwaahahahahahaahahah!

Khrone and Slaanesh is the bickering jo-jo type bipolar pair.
Known since loliDemonette went out with Kharn.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15927196

>>15927246
You demand that Eliphas shut is mouth. You say you're tired of having to handle all these fuck-faces and their child-like disputes.

You face the two psykers. You tell Ahriman to start screwing around in the warp goo in a manner that does not involve his dick. You tell Asuya do keep doing whatever the hell she does.

You turn to Eliphas and inform him that he's going to help you interrogate that Malal bitch you've got captive. Then you're going to convert saurians to chaos, get some more bionic limbs and fuck Doombreed's shit. Because you like to get shit done.

As Asuya and Ahriman head off, you and Eliphas march over to the Mechanicus workshop where the Malal warrior is being held in stasis. As you approach the workshop's doors you see a familiar figure waiting at the entrance.

The two-headed Alpha Legion terminought stands by the door, greeting you as you come into view. "Greeting First Captain! It is an honour to meet you once again." the Archaíos head says "I have been standing guard over this Emperor-loathing prisoner."

rolled 21 = 21

>>15927387
"Fine, good, great, whatever. Wanna help us interrogate her?"

In either case, TORTURE ENSUES.

Convert her to Chaos Undivided, with ourselves as her spiritual liege.

Then fuck her in the butt.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15927409
>her
Prisoner be a dude.

Greet the thing and ask if he wants to help interrogate. Also praise the Emprah for lulz.

>>15927409
Figured it was a chick.

Eh.

FUCK HIM IN THE BUTT ANYWAYS.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15927431
and if interogation fails eat his brain

rolled 37 = 37

>>15927387

Uh, well, good job then. We'll take it from here. See to it that we're not disturbed during the interrogation. (Unless it's really important, but if it's REALLY important, I think we'll find out about it regardless).

rolled 48 = 48

>>15927387
WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU NOT PRAISING THE DARK GODS

rolled 23 = 23

>>15927450
God dammit Slaanesh, stop posting.

I'm seriously.

rolled 32 = 32

>>15927462
agreed, khorne should be keeping him busy enough.

but I guess he does have a lot of tentacles, so he could multi-task.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15927409
>>15927450
But do it to convert him to Slaanesh!

Also @ Terminator: PRAISE THE DARK GODS, ASSHOLE, NOT THE GAY-EMPRAH OF FAILKIND.

rolled 4 = 4

"Thanks for keeping watch over him. You are making the Emperor proud. Now help me interrogate the bastard."

rolled 90 = 90

>>15927487
Fucking shit roll. Re-rollan

rolled 38 = 38

>>15927477
>>15927456
Praising the Emperor will not be tolerated.

rolled 64 = 64

>>15927387
get our two-headed friend to wait outside, then awaken/de-stasis the prisoner.

We can then proceed to warp-slap the ever-living fuck out of him with Sindri.

maybe we'll let Eliphas have a slap or two, because you know, we gotta keep him loyal, and he's caused us the least amount of trouble so far.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15927455
We decided to be reasonable this time? And that on my birthday, I'm impressed /tg/

rolled 82 = 82

>>15927409
Do Eeet!

rolled 45 = 45

>>15927387
give a high five tell him to go relax and do what he was doing before entar the room and slap the prisoner

rolled 37 = 37

>>15927495
>>15927477
>>15927456
These.

Seriously. I don't care if he's a fucking Inquisitor, you DO NOT praise the Emprah on this ship. Slap his shit.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15927512
oh and then when we're finished with him and we've bled all of the information dry I suggest we open up a warp rift and throw him to slaanesh.

because we kinda owe him a gift for fucking his shit up earlier. (then maybe he'll bless more of our rolls)

rolled 24 = 24

>>15927477
Re-rolling.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15927539
supporting

rolled 76 = 76

>>15927538
But he's Alpha Legion!

Ah, fuck it, supporting.

>>15927492
You thank the terminought for doing it's duty in the name of the Emperor. You also tell him you want him to assist you in interrogating the captive. "Very well, first Captain. I shall help break him for Horus and the Emperor."

"HAHAHA! Break! He will break like bones against bolter shells! SHATTER!" the Agathon head bellows, adding a laugh afterwards.

Eliphas gives you a confused look as the three of you enter the Mechanicus workshop. Inside you find a small, open-front dreadnought chassis, abet one with no limbs. Inside of it is the literally spineless Malal warrior from earlier, hooked up to it's life support systems. He has various strange tattoos and markings along his.

The Malalist chuckles as he sees you. "So we meet again, Lord Abaddon." he says "Has the king of the galaxy's scum truly come to speak with me? I am flattered."

rolled 39 = 39

>>15927604
"Blah blah blah. Malal's gonna get buttfucked by the new chaos gods in a few million years anyways. Wanna stop worshiping him before you get buttfucked too?"

Use magic to corrupt his mind as you speak. FOR CHAOS.

rolled 20 = 20

>>15927604
You seem to be enjoying yourself.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15927604
Shit's about to go down, get a psychic message to Ahriman to get reinforcements into position near the workshop, so that we can quickly respond to anything the Malal cultist tries to pull (like revealing our love of chaos to the terminought) (and it's not like we actually need the reinforcements, but we always work better with an audience)

then do whatever the next highest roller/blessed roll says (like this roll is ever going to get blessed...)

rolled 93 = 93

>>15927604
"How about I smack your shit?"
Demand that he tells you who sent him. He said something about a master earlier.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15927652
REASONABLE!

We're such a Karma Chameleon.

rolled 50 = 50

>>15927604

"Really, and why exactly are you so confident in the side you have thrown in with? What makes you think your pack of scavengers and and thieves is any less "scum" than we are?"

Appeal to his pride, see if we can get him to spill the beans about what kind of forces the Malal cultists have here.

If he won't talk, MIND RAPE TIME.

rolled 5 = 5

>>15927669
This. But also REGULAR RAPE TIME.

Rape for everyone!

>>15927652
You threatened to beat the warrior with Sindri unless he tells you who his master is. The Malal cultist laughs.

"You want to know who I serve, do you? I will not tell you that." he says, grinning. "I will tell you two things though; my master is on this ship, and he was in this very room earlier today."

rolled 86 = 86

>>15927604
Punch him in the dick, then mind rape him. Convert him to Slaanesh.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15927717
Ask the terminought if anyone else entered the room. And if so, who.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15927717

WAIT WAIT DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS

I bet you he's lying. I bet you ANYTHING he's lying. He wants this crusade to fall apart at the seams again (a pretty easy thing to do, given the shit we've had to put up with thus far) and piss on the remains for the lulz. We will not give him that pleasure.

It's mind-raping time. Root around in his brain and see if he's telling the truth or not.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15927717
Well shit dog. This is whack.

Carve a chart of all this whack into his forehead with a laser, then mind rape him into serving Slaanesh.

Then interrogate him again. Find out his master's name.

>>15927749
Thanks Slaanesh, you're the best.

BTW, can't make it this monday. Sorry.

rolled 24 = 24

>>15927717
We have several choices

1)we can see if we have hidden cameras/cctv

2)we can ask the terminought

3)we can go full detective and start asking the entire ship where they were etc

4)or we can use psyker dickery through Sindri to conjure up the ghosts of the past/majick bullshit. (or just get Ahriman to do it)

I suggest 2) 1) 4) 3)

oh and slap the Malal warrior for good measure.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15927749
slaanesh you sly dog you

rolled 30 = 30

curse that spineless bastard evading our questions!
also this >>15927742

rolled 6 = 6

>>15927749

>>15927780
>rolling another 6

666 FTW.

rolled 20, 16, 49, 11 = 96

I think we should have super-awesome powers that are even more awesome than our normal ones, but require 66 77 88 99 rolled on 4 different d100s in one post,

like I rolled in this one.

I think it would add an extra FOR THE GLORY OF CHAOS to it all. (of course it's all or nothing, if you don't get the full set of blessings then the rolls aren't counted.

anyways, it's just an idea, and it probably has loads of problems that would cause it not to work...I just thought we could use it when we beat up Gods and the like.

Anyone think we need to start planning for the future?

Seriously, what are our long term goals? We need to prioritize, dammit. This is why we've never been successful before.

>>15927749
You realize you might need to get a bit unorthodox with your methods. You spot a low power las-drill lying on a workshop table. You pick up the drill and hold it up to the cultist's head.

"W-what are you doing?" he asks

You proceed to fire a concentrated las-beam at his forehead. The warrior screams as it scorches his flesh and you begin carving his forehead's skin. Soon you finish burning a chart detailing how full of shit this is onto his head. Of course, this is kinda pointless because he can't see it.

You then grab onto the warrior's head with Sindri. You begin pumping out warp energies, which start to fill the Malalist's skull. He screams constantly as Sindri's seductive whispers run through his head and the warp has it's way with his mind.

Once enough of the Slaaneshi energy has been raped into his brain you let go. The cultist looks up at you, a pleasured smile on his face. You ask him who his master is.

The warrior opens his mouth. "A-"

Suddenly flames erupt from his mouth. The warrior howls out in pain as flames soon appears on his entire body, bursting from his flesh.

His skin and bones melt away as his horrified screams continue. His jaw burns apart and drops onto the ground as his eyes sizzle and turn to goo. His tongue is scorched black and his flesh melts away to expose his insides.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15927866

It's hard to deliver on long term plans when our short-term ones keep getting hijacked by the "LOL RAEP" suggestions getting Chaos' blessings.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15927866
1) Kill the Emperor as a kid
2) Convert the Eldar to Chaos

>>15927866
FUCK THAT NOISE. CHAOS IS MEANT TO BE CHAOTIC.

...and even if we fail, we can just invoke the Tzeentch cop-out.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15927885
Go and grab Asuya and Ahriman. NOW.

Interrogate them.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15927885
QUICK use Sindri to sniff out the source of this warp-power and follow it back to the traitor who used it!

rolled 71 = 71

>>15927717
Side Note - Vox Eliphas and have him lead the Jokaero in building you Doc Ock arms. Of course, this means that Eliphas is back on Jokaero duty.
>>15927642
Also, rollan fer this.

rolled 80 = 80

It's probably either:
Asuya
OR
Ahriman

Let's go get both of them.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15927885
>"A-"
"GATHER EVERYONE WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A AND KILL THEM."

rolled 17 = 17

>>15927936
B-But, our name begins with A....


well not our first name, but still...

rolled 48 = 48

>>15927930
>>15927918
Trace the Warp signature with our awesome intellect and sorcerer powers, and get the other two guys to grab Asuya and Ahriman while we follow it.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15927885
damn, that's the wrong way to do a barbecue
seems like his masters name starts with A

rolled 29 = 29

>>15927885
Surely he doesn't mean Ahriman. He knows better than to fall prey to one like Malal.

rolled 58 = 58

BACKTRACE THE WARP SIGNATURE.

"Get me everyone whose name begins with the letter 'A'.

If you cannot read, find someone who does."

rolled 55 = 55

>>15927921
Well, shit. That's some crazyass Cronenburg shit. Oh well.
TIEM FOR WAR CONSIL!!!

Also, seriously, Dock Ock arms would be tits.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15927974
These are not the dubs I wanted. DAMN YOU CHAOS GODS OF CHAOS.

rolled 83 = 83

1. Backtrace the Warp signature.

2. Locate everyone whose name starts with "A".

3. Get Doc Ock arms

4. Interrogate A-list with Doc Ock arms

rolled 48 = 48

>>15927885
grab the remains of his brain and chow down

rolled 28 = 28

>>15927995
This, but once we've got the A-list, we'll only really need to interrogate those with Warp talents. As such, we'll manually test each one for Warp abilities. Then torture them with our Doc Ock arms.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15927885
grab both socrceres slap both their shit until they admit to being part of malal

rolled 49 = 49

GET AHRIMAN IN HERE, NOW
And when he does knock him out so he can't light anything else on fire.

rolled 45 = 45

QUICK EAT THE BRAIN
EATITEATITEATITEATIT

>>15928013
this use spezz maren super power to learn his memories.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15927885
I think it's time to find more Malal cultists to interrogate and rape.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15928013
reroll

rolled 19 = 19

Call for everyone who's name starts with an A
Also eat the guy's brain before it gets fired.

rolled 63 = 63

My suggestion is that we get Ahriman to get the fuck down here right away.

Then have him help in tracing warp-signatures etc

Ask him to get that list off of Eliphas a of all the people whose names begin with A.

Then have Ahriman go through and interview them and check for Warp-Talents.

Tell Ahriman not to bother checking himself out since we can rely on him etc. (if he's loyal then we've strengthened the trust/loyalty, if not then we've made him think we don't suspect him)

rolled 80 = 80

>>15928031
>>15928022
Both of these.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15928042
Indeed.

But first:
>>15927995
>>15928014
With those out of the way, we can rape to our heart's content.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15928014
>>15927995
Come on chaos gods, give us your blessings already.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15928070

Seconding!

rolled 5 = 5

>>15928066
Re-rolling.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15928112
Those guys are DICKS.

>>15928127
KHORNE AGREES!

THE GODS OF CHAOS ARE DICKS!

rolled 84 = 84

time to get some shit done, get ariman down here when is done with his goo science. and do the brain thing.

>>15928127
>mfw Op has already started typing

rolled 30 = 30

Goddamn Khorne is actually helping us out tonight.

rolled 29 = 29

KHORNE

Chaos God of Getting shit done.

>>15928127
As the warrior's body burns and melts apart you decide to try and find out if a psyker caused the flame. You use Sindri to trace the warp signature.

However, you find that there is no signature at all.

Angered by this, you tune into the vox and demand that all individuals with names starting with "A" come to the mechanicus workshop immediately.

As you turn off your vox you notice something lying on a table. An astartes backpack with several mechanical tendrils attached to it, a power claw at the end of each one. As you look upon the war machine and it's cruel modifications you feel to desire to take it and use it's destructive abilities for your own uses.

You grab the backpack and attach it onto your terminator armour. You see the metal tentacles suddenly raise themselves to life, as they react to your own mind.

Then the doors open. You see Ahriman enter first, followed shortly by Asuya. Booming footstep;s are heard as the wraith-giant Askuan enters the room, the mark of Khorne glowing dimly on the massive being's wraithbone structure. Asuya seems to look away nervously as the wraith-giant enters.

Following him is Asrah, the male Slaaneshi Seer, and then two of his Eldar elite. After them come astartes, mortal servants, sorcerers and a few techpriests.

All stand before you, waiting silently and wondering what's going on.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15928275
"At least one of you is working for Malal, and therefore against me.

Who is it? First person to out his or her comrades will be spared my wrath when I inevitably find out for myself."

Use Warp magic to make yourself sound more intimidating.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15928275
Brilliant. start tentacle raping the warp until it reveals the traitor.

rolled 75 = 75

Tentacle rape time!

Rape them all until someone confesses!

rolled 16 = 16

>>15928275

"Somebody just torched this little Malal-worshipping fuck right as he was about to name whoever his master was. And that makes me angry. Very, very angry.

All I know is that this master has a name that starts with 'A'. Nobody is leaving this room until we find out who, exactly, or else I will be even MORE angry, and I don't think any of you want that."

rolled 42 = 42

>>15928306
This.

Who knows, maybe the Warp is into that kind of thing.

Say >>15928300 as you do so though. Just to be sure.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15928338
>>15928332
There is no problem that cannot be solved by the proper application of tentacle rape.

None.

>this thread

rolled 92 = 92

>>15928275
We will let chaos show us the way and identify the traitor. Strike a Captain EO pose with Sindri in the air, infusing the room with delicious warp energies and bringing Tzeenchy blessings. Then, have all those fuckers play Musical Chairs until one wins. The winner is the traitor.
And this is the soundtrack for our diabolical game:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpzLUCY0rU

rolled 25 = 25

>>15928338
supporting

>>15928376
>this entire quest

ftfy

rolled 28 = 28

>>15928364
>>15928338
>>15928332
>>15928306
Agreed.

rolled 36 = 36

"Everyone line up for tentacle torture."

rolled 52 = 52

>>15928338
GO GO TENTACLE RAPE.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15928338
Supporting.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15928380
>Find-the-traitor musical chairs

Oh hell yes I'm supporting this.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15928434
>>15928380
>>15928306
>3 92s

Huh.

SUPPORTING ALL OF THESE.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15928380
>>15928434
>both 92
Also my support

>>15928380
>>15928306
Both of these at once.

>>15928306
You decide it's time to find out just who the traitor is. You swing Sindri forward, forming a small warp rip to appearing following the punch. You then have all your power claw tendrils lunge right into the warp tear.

You see all the psykers scream and grab their heads as you rip through the nearby warp. Your claws search through it, looking for one with the mark of Malal.

The non-psykers begin showing signs of pain as you continue. Several Eldar start bleeding from their noses or falling over. A couple of sorcerers vomit. You keep drilling into the warp but can't seem to find the mark of Malal at all.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15928380
All around the despoiler's ship, the traitor gets paraded, horrors beyond all imagination, a-wait the traitor.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15928461
Then you simply aren't doing it hard enough.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15928461
Musical Traitor Chairs.

Now.

If that yields no result, then the cultist was fucking with us and lying his ass off.

Either way, we'll have learned something.

>>15928380
(shit, missed this one)

>>15928461
Alright let's think this for a moment.
Our warp-enhanced roll didn;t detect a psychic presence going from nowhere to no-one, and our standard rolls don't detec malal in these guys.

Are we forgetting someone?

rolled 6 = 6

Stop fucking with the warp. Tell everyone that you have found out there is a Malal traitor who's name starts with A.

rolled 5 = 5

>>15928510
maybe he meant a..jokareo

>>15928461

Continue tentacle raping the warp until we can find the traitor.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15928510
>>15928519
These. Obviously the traitor is not among us.

Take note of those present. Anyone else who's name starts with 'A' may be the traitor.

Dismiss these people, and consult with those who keep record of your ship's crew. Find out if anyone didn't come to your little meeting.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15928461
Tell him all to strip down. If they have the mark of malal, we'll see it.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15928477
CHAOS REIGNS.

rolled 89 = 89

OP of >>15928533 here, do >>15928538 as well. Sorry.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15928533
DAMMIT KHORNE WHY ARE YOU SO REASONABLE?

>>15928545
>>15928533
>88
>89
Truly I am blessed by Khorne! I got two 88s earlier as well, I wonder if I'm destined to become a Champion of Chaos?

HOT DAMN WHY IS KHORNE SO AWESOME TONIGHT?

I think he just got fed up with Slaanesh's shit with us sticking our dick in everything earlier.

>>15928477
ROLLAN. We cannot let our quest succumb to this reasonable-assed shit.

rolled 77 = 77

>>15928578
also, dice goes in email field

>>15928582
Fuck you, Tzeentch, Khorne was here first!

rolled 31 = 31

>>15928582
Thanks papa Nurgle! Now we know!

>>15928578

I don't know, that suggestion isn't too retarded itself.

Either way, we've got a blessing behind both of them, so...

>>15928611
Musical Traitor Chairs, >>15928541 AND >>15928533

MADNESS!

LOLRANDOMRAPE40K

This shit is dumb as hell.

>>15928635

It bounces back and forth between "fucking retarded" and "fucking AWESOME".

The dice shenanigans are easily the most entertaining part though.

>>15928533
>>15928545
Realizing that there doesn't seem to be any Malalists among the group you decide to stop messing about with the warp. Reluctantly you withdraw your mechanical tendrils from the warp tear, and the psykers let out sighs of relief as you do.

You tell the individuals before you the leader of Malal insurgents has a name that starts with "A" and that he is possibly among them. You see the servants of chaos share looks of concern, and the Eldar ones of confusion.

You give the order for them all to strip down. The people gathered before you waste no time removing their clothes, lest they tempt your wrath. Soon every astartes, Eldar and mortal is undressed or at least mostly undressed.

All except one. One mortal crewman still stands full clothed, light pieces of armour covering his torn brown fatigues.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15928578
NURGLE DEMANDS THAT YOU USE DICE PROPERLY!!

rolled 65 = 65

>>15928660
CRUSH HIS THROAT FOR HIS DISOBEDIANCE

rolled 59 = 59

>>15928660
Walk right up to him and order him to take of his clothes.

>>15928660
Remove his clothes, so we can see the Mark of Malal.

If it's there, begin Mind Rape/Torture, and dismiss everyone else.

If not, then he will be executed for disobeying us.

Also, find out his name.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15928660
ask him why he won't disrobe. take off cod piece and reveal massive wang and balls to try to make the atmosphere more accepting for the crewman

rolled 82 = 82

>>15928660

Even if he's not a cultist, he still disobeyed a direct order. This is most displeasing.

Kill him.

rolled 51 = 51

>>15928660
walk right up to him and just stare at him.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15928686
Forgot mah roll

rolled 100 = 100

>>15928660
Have everyone hold him down, and demand to know everything, exrect the infomation manualy if necissary!

rolled 58 = 58

>>15928660
slap him for disobedience.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15928688
I approve of this.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15928660
"AHRIMAN!"

"Put up a psychic force-field, I'm not losing another suspect to headburning."

rolled 17 = 17

>>15928686
Supporting for REASONABLE.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15928686
This, but signal to Ahriman to forcefield the fucker so we won't have any trouble with random exploding.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15928742

OH SHIT THIS THIS THIS THIS

WE'RE NOT LOSING OUT ON AN INFORMANT THAT EASILY AGAIN.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15928742
>>15928697
These guys.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15928697
Yes.
>>15928742
Also yes.

Khorne, bless my roll, for reason is my only intention.

rolled 83 = 83

>>15928742
combining with mine
>>15928703

>>15928703
You order all your servants to restrain the disobedient mortal immediately. Two marines and several crewmen knock over the man and pin him to the ground.

You walk over to the mortal. He struggles to break free but has an almost sinister smile as he looks at you. You tell him you want to be told everything he knows.

As you finish speaking, you notice a noise. A light constant beeping, coming from under the man's fatigues.

"You want to know something do you?" he says "Well I have something to tell you."

>>15928792
Good. Good.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15928802
PUNCH THE WARP.

TELEPORT THE BOMB INTO SPACE.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15928807
>>15928802

Seconding

But let's rip open the fatigues first, to make sure it's a bomb.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15928802
Well fuck.

Can we move the bomb into the Warp, and then move it out once it's far enough away?

Because that would be great.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15928802
OH FUCK use a psykick time freeze or somthing to stop the bomb!

rolled 15 = 15

>>15928802
knock him flat on his face by swiping his legs with your foot, than shove your boot in his face and demand answers to questions

rolled 76 = 76

>>15928802
Check for bomb.

If bomb, throw into Warp.

Then cut out the cultist's eyes.

rolled 46 = 46

>>15928802
...open the fatigues slowly.

rolled 84 = 84

>>15928802
Open Fatigues, check what's under there.

If it's dangerous then punch the Warp and turn it into a disco ball.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15928802

PUNCH THE WARP HARD ENOUGH TO DISABLE THE BOMB.

THEN PUNCH THE FUCKING TRAITOR IN HIS FUCKING TRAITOR MOUTH FOR TRYING THAT SHIT.

rolled 85 = 85

Check fatigues.

rolled 9 = 9

Rip off his fatigue and teleport the bomb away with magic.

If it's not a bomb, teleport it away anyways.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15928823
Time freeze or whatever, yes.

Then we can examine the beeping device.

If it's dangerous to us, we get rid of it.

If not, get rid of it anyways.

rolled 57 = 57

>>15928848
THEY SET US UP WITH THE BOMB!

rolled 51 = 51

OH MY GOD JD, A BOMB!

rolled 1 = 1

FUCKING BOMB!

QUICKLY, DISARM THE BOMB WITH YOUR FIST!

rolled 53 = 53

>>15928899
Malal set up us the bomb, JACKASS.

>>15928823
Believing that there may be a bomb under the man's clothes, you bring Sindri up against him. As the daemon arm touches the fatigues a burst of warp energy comes from it. The bomb's beeping suddenly stops as the sorcerous stasis wave hits it.

The man stops struggling and stares at his chest. You looks back up at you, a confused and scared look on his face.

"Well fuck. That wasn't supposed to ha-"

You suddenly hear two bangs. A bolter shell then impacts with the man's skull causing it to explode into gory bits. Another sinks into the side of his torso. The shell detonates inside his body and causes blood and bones to splatter out. The bomb luckily does not detonate because of the stasis.

You look at the dead mortal, as blood gushes from his destroyed body.

(Aaand that's all for know folks. Need to head off to Germany for about two weeks now. I may be able to continue these threads during that time, although they'll be far apart and shorter.)

Fuck yeah, Abaddon quest.

NEXT TIME: INTRIGUE AND NOIR

rolled 72 = 72

>>15928980

Son of a bitch we needed to interrogate him.

rolled 9 = 9

>>15929002

INTRIGUE
NOIR
RAPE
WARP-PUNCHING
AHRIMAN-SLAPPING
CHAOS DICE SHENANIGANS

rolled 1 = 1

>>15929058
WE'VE GOT IT ALL, BITCHES

ALSO ARCHIVE: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15926413/

rolled 37 = 37

Abaddon's face (and ours) when >>15928980

rolled 42 = 42

>>15928980
SO MUCH CLIFFHANGER...

Not... sure if... body can take it...


I can't wait for another instalment of "Who Shot the Malal Traitor."

Abbadon Quest, you're the greatest!