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08/11/11(Thu)16:04 No.15903306Fucking spacers. I know that there are probably a lot of spacers out there who are total bros, but a friend of mine had that spark in his eye for the spacer life. Sort of like when I was 7 and wanted to be a space pirate when I grew up, only he was 17 and dropped out of school to tighten the bolts on some asteroid mining rig.
A couple years ago, I get this call from him. I was working down the road from a ritzy resort colony, carving bones from the local fauna into trinkets for the tourists, and furniture and tools for the locals, and he tells me he's in the area working on one of the satellites, and that he's taking a couple days' leave to come down to visit.
So he shows up, and he starts ragging on me, talking about how the spacer life is so hardcore, and that my pitiful little workshop is so drab and plain to him. And he keeps talking in this fucking incomprehensible 'spacer lingo' bullshit.
So I drove him down to the bar, thinking that he'd run his mouth and get the snot kicked out of him. One of the guys had his Normoc tied up outside, and the fucking spacer pussy nearly shit himself. You don't get a lot of xenofauna out in space, much less something that looks like a bear with compound eyes fucked a six-legged bison, but those things are so fucking docile. But he was having none of it. I even went up to it and scratched it right under its horns, but he shit a fucking brick when it started to purr, and refused to go near the bar.
I thought that'd shut him up good, but as soon as we were out of sight of it, he started right up again, and would not shut up about how much more badass he was than us grounders. He refused to stay outside for too long, though, and made up some bullshit about the air not being right, not at all like the idealized hyperfiltered stuff they get pumped into their suits, and blaming it on poor terraforming.
Fucking spacers. |