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  • File : 1311957382.jpg-(59 KB, 640x980, futurequest.jpg)
    59 KB Future Quest Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)12:36 No.15745586  
    You Awake from your pod and tear off the life support mask and strange plugs and walk out of it as it opens up to your movement.

    The strange viscous that had previously kept you sound asleep and possible alive quickly evaporates- the thicker cream of the mixture leaking out onto the floor and settling into the bottom of your pod.

    You clumsily get out of the pod clutching your stomach- you're nauseous, hungry, and you have to pee, all at the same time.

    You are:
    A "Young" Human Male.
    You are wearing "Lab Underpants."
    You are Bald.
    You Have NO MEMORIES prior to THE SLEEP.

    What should you do?
    ((I felt let doing some Sci-fi. ))
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)12:37 No.15745598
    Pee all over valuable-looking equipment.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)12:39 No.15745617
    Observe surroundings, induce vomiting. Let's get it over with BEFORE we find something to eat.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)12:41 No.15745645
    >>15745586
    find some clothes
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)12:43 No.15745663
    Pee, find clothes, look for food products.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)12:45 No.15745693
    Vomit, pee, get hard and check my dick. If I have no memories, I can't remember how well endowed I am, and that kind of thing can affect your behavior.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)12:51 No.15745738
         File1311958265.jpg-(56 KB, 640x980, futurequest2.jpg)
    56 KB
    >>15745663
    >>15745693
    >>15745598

    You jostle down those underpants of yours a little.
    You whip out your PENIS and find it's healthy and still there a long with your balls.

    You take your penis in hand and you piss in that pod liberably.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)13:01 No.15745842
    Are you the same guy who ran that strategy quest featuring a tribe of trolls living in a cave?
    If yes, what happened to it?
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)13:03 No.15745860
    >>15745842

    Yes I am.
    I'm putting it on a little hiatus for a bit since I want to try my hand at some science fiction.
    I still remember and have it saved where we left off.

    If this isn't popular then we can come back to the trolls this weekend.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)13:04 No.15745866
    Grow some hair.
    Being bald sucks.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)13:08 No.15745898
    Pandorum?
    Check my surroundings.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)13:12 No.15745933
    >>15745586 find clothes
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)13:13 No.15745941
         File1311959626.jpg-(110 KB, 980x640, futurequest3..jpg)
    110 KB
    >>15745617
    >>15745898


    You decide now that you no longer have to urinate you should probebly check out where the hell you are.

    You look up, down, around, and then everywhere else.

    You seem to be in an enclosed hallway.

    There are pods all over the walls and small lifts running up and down the sides of them.

    You seem to be the only person in this entire facility.

    All of the pods are completely empty.


    You look up further and notice the lifts not only go all the way up the walls but they also go up and into the ceiling to perhaps a second or third level.


    There is nothing near you of any interest except your pod filled with urine.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)13:17 No.15745975
    that better be derailed in a futurama quest, teegee
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)13:27 No.15746077
    let's walk around
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)13:42 No.15746182
         File1311961345.jpg-(52 KB, 640x980, futurequest4.jpg)
    52 KB
    >>15746077

    You decide to stretch your legs and walk around a bit.

    On the immediate left hand side of the hallway there is what appears a platform with a fire exit ontop.

    There's a decrepit fire stair case attatched to the wall, but it looks like only the bottom half has collapsed.

    The rest of it looks sturdy enough to climb up.

    You can faintly see a glow of light coming from the fire exit.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)14:03 No.15746352
    Giving myself one mercy bump.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)14:04 No.15746367
    >>15746182
    get climbing bitch, and try and snap something off for a weapon/pimpcane
    >> AK Bar 07/29/11(Fri)14:58 No.15746958
    You need food, clothes, information and a shower. Preferably in that order.
    >> AK Bar 07/29/11(Fri)15:12 No.15747161
    So, climb the stairs?
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)15:37 No.15747430
         File1311968263.jpg-(38 KB, 960x640, upperstaircase.jpg)
    38 KB
    >>15746367
    >>15746958
    >>15747161


    You climb up that stair case with suprising ease.

    At the top of the fire case you manage to pull out one of the guard rails and it actually makes a pretty good pimp-cane/bludgeoning weapon.


    You stand and admire your new pimp-cane in your underpants.
    >> AK Bar 07/29/11(Fri)15:39 No.15747459
    Check out the fire exit.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)15:52 No.15747604
         File1311969161.jpg-(50 KB, 640x960, thefirestexit.jpg)
    50 KB
    >>15747459

    Y'know what, sure.
    I can do this with a small devoted audience.
    Maybe it'll get popular later.


    You inspect the fire exit and notice it's incredibly loose and the gentle breeze had been keeping it a-jar.

    You open it up and find not only a picked-clean skeleton tumbling off of the door's cover but an incredibly long hallway leading to what might be sunlight.

    The front of the door looks very beaten and dented as if someone was trying to force their way in through on the outside.

    Maybe it was the previous owner of this Skeleton?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)15:55 No.15747621
         File1311969351.gif-(349 KB, 135x101, 1310172282815.gif)
    349 KB
    >>15747604
    Wear the skull as a hat. Or affix it to your pimpcane/pipe. Whatever you like most Brud
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)15:57 No.15747636
    Well, I say turn around and explore more of the facility. If it looked like somebody was trying to force their way in, I'm not sure I want to be out right now.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)15:59 No.15747655
    >>15747604


    Go toward the light.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:03 No.15747685
    >>15747604
    Grab a hand in case you find anyone that needs help.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:04 No.15747697
         File1311969895.jpg-(243 KB, 720x479, IMG_0720.jpg)
    243 KB
    >>15747685
    >>15747621
    >>15747655
    Its necromancin' time
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)16:11 No.15747746
         File1311970295.jpg-(42 KB, 640x960, upthehallway.jpg)
    42 KB
    >>15747621
    >>15747636
    >>15747655
    >>15747685
    >>15747697

    You shove the skull onto your pimp-cane using the ball to lock into the skull where the brain would be.

    It makes a fantastic cane and you feel incredibly imposing and spiritual with your Human Skull Cane.

    You stuff the skeleton hand down your underpants- just because it came to mind.

    You then slowly climb up the hallway leading towards the light.

    The light that skeleton seemed to want to escape.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:17 No.15747809
    >>15747746
    Shade your eyes as you come out into the sun and look around.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:35 No.15748052
    >>15747746
    Trip and fall down the stairs
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)16:41 No.15748153
         File1311972100.jpg-(71 KB, 960x640, thereceptionist.jpg)
    71 KB
    >>15747809
    >>15748052

    You manage to not trip and fall down the stairs and instead find yourself... in..

    Some kind of lobby?

    The door you came through is lousy with partial naked skeletons.

    You see some automatic doors in the front leading to the outside.

    A receptionist's desk with a broken moniter behind it.

    The remainder of the building seems to have collapsed upon itself.

    You notice some foot prints from a boot thats a few sizes too big for you to wear.

    What should you do?

    You still don't have any actual clothing.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:45 No.15748213
    >>15748153
    Make a hooded cloak out of their clothes, leaving just enough to fashion a pair of shorts. Look around for any possible weapons
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:47 No.15748235
    >>15748153
    Get another skull to fashion as a crotchguard, and another 2 as shoulder-plates. (Gonna get Abaddon up in this bitch)
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)16:49 No.15748257
         File1311972542.jpg-(95 KB, 1280x800, 1292640829205.jpg)
    95 KB
    >>15748153
    Try to find a good-sized, sharp piece of glass from the monitor and try to fashion a knife out of that and a bone or something.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)16:58 No.15748359
         File1311973095.jpg-(71 KB, 960x640, thereceptionist2.jpg)
    71 KB
    >>15748213

    Unfortunetly all of the skeletons are completely naked.

    Nothing is on them of any interest at all except their bones. They have absolutely no traces of any sort of fabric or personal items.

    >>15748235
    You manage to collect 5 servicable Human Skulls.

    >>15748257
    You slump over the Receptionists desk in order to look for anything of- The receptionist has a 9mm hand gun in it's skeletal hands hands.

    It appears she/he blew her/his brains out and the bullet shot through her/his head and peirced the moniter.
    What should you do?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)17:02 No.15748404
    >>15748235
    Pick up the gun and also this >>15748257
    and nigga you had best >>15748359
    Somebodys gonna get chokeslammed with our dick
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)17:04 No.15748420
    Da-hurp derp I meant do this >>15748235
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)17:09 No.15748478
    >>15748359
    Fashion a codpiece out of bones. If there is a ribcage of a larger person then thou, make a breastplate as well.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)17:24 No.15748614
         File1311974657.jpg-(46 KB, 640x960, thehumanbodyonaveragehas35skul(...).jpg)
    46 KB
    >>15748420
    >>15748478
    >>15748404


    With the skulls you've collected you:

    Punch your arms through the nostrils of two and wear them like shoulder pads.

    Two have their eye sockets intertwined with the elastic in your underpants as a sort of cod-piece.

    You place the handgun in your belt as you have no idea how to use a handgun.

    You find a Rib cage that is large enough that you can snap back and wrap around your chest like a breast plate.


    What should you do now?
    You're feeling very intimidating and well protected.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)17:31 No.15748691
         File1311975114.gif-(261 KB, 328x272, 1292103396062.gif)
    261 KB
    >>15748614
    FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAH

    Also try your hardest to figure out how to use the handgun without hurting yourself, and look for extra mags. Failing/succeeding those, venture out I guess
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)17:43 No.15748818
    >>15748614
    Put skeletons in sexual positions
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)17:53 No.15748908
         File1311976385.jpg-(66 KB, 960x640, welcometotheoutdoors.jpg)
    66 KB
    >>15748691

    You decide to venture outside and see what the world has in store for you.

    What.
    A.
    Dump.

    There doesn't seem much around- a road with some grass growing in the centre, some small pot-holes, and a hars breeze that blows through carrying grit.


    It's very, very, hot.

    What should we do now?
    There doesn't seem to be signs of anyone out here.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)17:55 No.15748926
    >>15748908
    Its a good thing we didnt make a cloak.
    I guess head with the wind so we dont get sand in our poor little peepers
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:03 No.15749005
    Find a hat. Being bald sucks :c
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:06 No.15749032
    Why are we going outside, where there's obviously bad things, armed with nothing but a club and a gun that'll likely do the most damage to ourselves?

    I say go back in the complex and see if there's any rooms we missed.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)18:08 No.15749059
         File1311977339.jpg-(56 KB, 960x640, thegasstation.jpg)
    56 KB
    >>15748926
    >>15749005
    >>15749032

    Against our better judgement we decide to space ourselves from the facility and go down the road.


    You come upon a GAS STATION.
    This actually looks pretty promis- wait.

    There is a SOMETHING reclining in the parking lot of the gas station.

    They have not noticed you yet.

    It looks like they're laying back smoking.

    You can't see them clearly due to the dusty wind.


    What should you do?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:10 No.15749076
    >>15749059
    Add it to our "collection"
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:10 No.15749081
    Go BACK, goddamnit. A man walking up to you wearing nothing but SKULLS is not a good first impression!
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:12 No.15749093
    >>15749081
    Neither is a man wearing nothing but briefs with a gun.
    -2 to charisma due to chrome dome
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:19 No.15749138
    >>15749059
    Ask him for a hat.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:23 No.15749169
         File1311978219.png-(4 KB, 202x221, IMG_0584.png)
    4 KB
    >>15749138
    HATS FOR THE HAT THRONE
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)18:26 No.15749189
         File1311978384.jpg-(80 KB, 640x960, whatthehellisthat.jpg)
    80 KB
    >>15749076
    >>15749081
    >>15749093
    >>15749138

    You think it's best if you get the hell out of there.

    The wind however dies down and the person finishes it's smoke break and- oh fuck.

    It sees you.

    It raises to it's feet quickly, raises it's hand and with cigerette in the other and speaks.

    "Halt, I have been authorised to use force if nessicary, but I ask you as a refuge and as an endangered species that you refrain from any sudden movements."

    She doesn't appear to be drawing the elephant gun strapped to her back.

    She isn't even dropping her cigerette.

    She has some sort of weird, fuzzy, battle armor on that looks a lot like the grass you saw on the road.


    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:29 No.15749214
    >>15749189
    "Hail, possible friend. Do you have any hats?"
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:37 No.15749274
    >>15749189
    Put up your hands and walk slowly towards "her"
    "what do you mean, endangered species? What are you a refugee from?"
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:38 No.15749284
    >>15749189
    fuck the living shit out of her.

    we don't know, we might be the last human alive, gotta pass on those genes.

    besides we've been going through a dry spell ever since we got into that pod.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:41 No.15749317
    >>15749274
    I agree with this.

    For the love of god, don't turn this into a rape quest.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:43 No.15749337
    >>15749317
    it was a joke, ok? joke, the post was meant to be funny, not serious, it was a fallacy, a lie, an unreal statement ment to be hilarious and cause people to chuckle, a joke.

    are we clear on the joke thing? cause that post was a joke.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:45 No.15749349
    >>15749317
    Needs moar hats
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:50 No.15749400
    >>15749337
    Sorry if I seem a little antsy around such suggestions. Nearly every hopeful budding quest thread I've taken part in has died either because the OP stopped caring or because one guy spammed the thread with "I kill myself/I rape the orphan" posts until it actually happened.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)18:51 No.15749406
         File1311979884.jpg-(68 KB, 960x640, asshat.jpg)
    68 KB
    >>15749274
    >>15749349
    >>15749138
    >>15749169

    She proceeds towards you and you ask if she has any hats.

    She declines but notices you've been wearing nothing but bones and reaches into her pack and pulls out a waist skirt.

    "Please wear this, you'll need to protect your skin from the wind-"

    She is cut off when you grab the waist skirt and tie it onto your hair to let it drape down your back.

    You are wearing a waist skirt on your head- it is actually doing a very good job of keeping the sun off your back and making you look waist-skirt on head retarded.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:52 No.15749419
    >>15749400
    it's ok, i know that feel.

    anyways, try our best to introduce ourselves and cause a good first impression, ask where we are, what year it is, who she is, etc. get a grip on the current everything.
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)18:55 No.15749444
    >>15749406
    Whip your grass skirt back and forth, then explain to her your current position and ask what the fuck is going on, as well as where something to eat might be
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)18:59 No.15749473
    >>15749406
    thank her and introduce ourselves as having no name because we don't remember it
    Then ask her who she is
    Where and when we are,
    and what's going on here
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:06 No.15749531
    1. Thank her

    2. Ask who she is

    3. Ask why we're endangered
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)19:18 No.15749625
         File1311981492.jpg-(111 KB, 960x640, asshaterey.jpg)
    111 KB
    >>15749473
    >>15749531
    >>15749419
    >>15749444

    You thank her for the hat and you think about waving your head back and forth but she takes off her helmet and out stretches her hand.

    "I'm sorry human, you seem to be under a lot of stress as it is and this is my first time encountering one in the wild. My name is Private Keisha of the Broken worlds Endangerment act. I'm like a park Ranger" She reaches out her hand.

    You have no idea why though.
    God does she look weird.
    You're barely paying any attention to what she is saying.
    Is this what human females look like?
    You guess you could bone her if you wanted to.

    She seems a little discouraged and worried about you and continues.

    "Are you alright? I was told humans shook hands. Would you like some water? Humans are 70% water, right? That isn't a lot- you should have something to drink."

    Her doting is making you more comfortable and you decide to ask some questions:

    Where am I?
    What year is this?
    Why am I endangered?

    While she gets you some water she answers your questions in order:

    "You're on earth right now and it's the year 3210. And you're Endangered because as humanoids go; there are only about 3 million Humans left on earth."
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)19:22 No.15749668
    >>15749625
    But why are there only 3 million of us left? Or where there more of us before?"
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:24 No.15749684
    >>15749625
    Kill it with a series of body blows. Carefully break open its skull and devour its brains to see if we can gain any knowledge. If it fights well then eat its heart also.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:26 No.15749708
    Ask for a brief history of the Earth as she knows it, and ask if she's human and if she isnt, what is she? Sounds like she isnt human. Why are humans being conserved? Why is this area in this dusty derelict state?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:28 No.15749732
    >>15749684
    This, also begin coming up with a plan to defeat these evil intruders and raise the humans to glory. We're bringing a "dead" culture, therefore we shall be collectively called "THE NECROMANCER" and will refer to ourselves in the 3rd person.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:31 No.15749759
         File1311982282.png-(14 KB, 159x160, th_GloriousFaceTrans.png)
    14 KB
    >>15749732
    >we shall be collectively called "THE NECROMANCER" and will refer to ourselves in the 3rd person.

    Glorious.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:34 No.15749793
    She's the first nice person we've met here. Might as well level with her that we only just stepped out of a cryostasis... thing... that we've been in for god knows how long.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:39 No.15749845
    >>15749793
    XENO-LOVING SCUM
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)19:41 No.15749858
    >>15749625
    ADD HER TO THE COLLECTION
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:45 No.15749902
    >>15749684
    It seems at least vaguely familiar with human customs. Perhaps we can pretend to go into for a hug and then squeeze the life out of it or snap its neck?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:46 No.15749908
    >>15749732
    This. Make this happen.
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)19:46 No.15749914
    >>15749902
    YEEEEESSSSSSS
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)19:49 No.15749937
         File1311983347.jpg-(107 KB, 640x960, MOREASSES.jpg)
    107 KB
    >>15749668
    >>15749708
    >>15749793

    She pulls out some sort of amoebic, fleshy, jiggling, water filled orb and puts it up to your mouth. You grab onto it with both hands and drink from it greedily.

    The fluid in it is sweet, rich, and very satisfying.
    When you've had enough she takes it from you and slides it back into her armor and sits you down for a story.

    "Right now we're on earth a "Wild" planet. Your solar system has 1 wild planet and 1 wild moon: earth and it's moon respectivly."

    You try to pay attention, but for some reason thoughts of viciously mauling this ugly girl flood your mind.

    >>15749684
    >>15749732
    >>15749845

    She continues, "Earth used to be from what I understand the capital of the human race until some extinction level incident happend and now Venus is; with Mars in close second."
    She notices all of this is over your head and you mention to her that you just woke up from a pod this morning and you have no idea what she's talking about.

    "I'm sorry, I noticed your Quail egg skin and thought you were a native- let me rephrase: I'm here as a Park Ranger to Manage and protect the last Earth Humans."
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)19:51 No.15749955
    >>15749937
    KILL. HER. DOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:53 No.15749979
    >>15749937
    Proceed with plan NECROMANCER.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:55 No.15750000
    >>15749937
    Lead her to the complex. She should know more about technology than you do.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:55 No.15750003
    >>15749955
    Wait, we should gather as much information as we can from her before we kill her and eat her brains.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)19:56 No.15750016
    OP, if THE NECROMANCER does not claim this filthy xenos skull, THE NECROMANCERS will be sorely dissapointed and will possibly all leave this thread to die, a lonely, painful death.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:57 No.15750018
    >>15750003
    But we'll get all of her information when we eat her brain anyways.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)19:57 No.15750024
    >>15750016
    Good. Fuck off and let the rest of us who want to have an actual story do so.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:01 No.15750061
    If we do start a civil war against them, they cant fight back b/c we are endangered. Top-shelf!
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)20:05 No.15750096
         File1311984300.jpg-(102 KB, 960x640, thatwasamazing.jpg)
    102 KB
    >>15749955
    >>15749979
    >>15750016
    >>15750018
    ((The story will continue no matter what happens- What kind of story it is depends on the viewers.))

    You can't take it.
    Something inside you demands it.
    You bare your teeth and bum rush the weird looking woman.

    Unfortunetly she is trained in combat and smacks you across the head with the butt of her gun.

    She ties your arms up, slumps you over her shoulder, and lights herself another cigerette and walks away with you.

    You are now being carried off by this woman.

    Your arms are tied up.

    You have a massive wedgie.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:07 No.15750133
    >>15750096
    Damn it! We should've just stuck with talking.
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)20:10 No.15750152
    >>15750096
    If the necromancer can reach the necromancers gun, pop off a few shots in her
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:11 No.15750154
    >>15750096
    Bite her and hope that we were kept in cryostorage as a biohazard. Make a mental note to try false-hug tactic next time.

    Make certain this creature pays for this insult.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:13 No.15750169
    Welp, this quest has been thoroughly ruined.

    Fuck you all.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)20:14 No.15750172
    >>15750169
    <3 you too
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:15 No.15750178
    >>15750096
    Let off a fart, the cigarette should light that shit up, if her eyes are not burned out then she should at least be blinded for a moment, this will give us all the time we need to tear her throat out with our teeth.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:15 No.15750179
    >>15750096
    do we still have our pimp cane?
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)20:17 No.15750196
    >>15750179
    THE NECROMANCER hopes to god that THE NECROMANCER still does. If not, the filthy xeno's skull shall adorn the new one.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:18 No.15750199
    >>15750096
    fake a concussion, go into a seizure, and then bite her neck.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)20:19 No.15750206
         File1311985171.jpg-(83 KB, 960x640, ASSPOWER.jpg)
    83 KB
    >>15750152
    >>15750154
    >>15750169
    >>15750178
    >>15750179

    You remember you have a hand gun in your underpants.

    You clentch your butt cheeks and try to get it to fire- you have no idea how to use a gun.

    You fire off two rounds and puncture a hole in your underpants while doing so.

    She notices immidietly and takes away the gun and proceeds to tie you up into a bundle.


    You can now only move your head- she has taken both your cane and your gun.

    She is however impressed by your tenacity.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)20:21 No.15750217
    THE NECROMANCER cannot wait to see which nugget of tactical gold these fine NECROMANCERS have created will be chosen
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:22 No.15750224
    "The Necromancer is sorry, The Necromancer is just very confused"

    This is where we start crying, hopefully she will give us a hug to comfort us.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)20:22 No.15750226
    FUCK
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:25 No.15750236
    >>15750206
    Scream and howl constantly. If and when it attempts to gag us bite at its hand and hope whatever it is has weak clotting factors.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:27 No.15750257
    >>15750224
    >hopefully she will give us a hug to comfort us.

    Yeees, and then we strike. Brilliant.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:30 No.15750279
    >>15750257
    HUTTAH NECK-SNAP
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:30 No.15750282
    Summon the fiery rage burning within our soul at the though of mankinds near destruction, use the sudden surge strength to break our bonds.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:31 No.15750286
    We could still fake a seizure and attempt to escape.

    I'm sure she wouldn't want to be responsible for giving an endangered human brain damage.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)20:34 No.15750314
         File1311986081.jpg-(57 KB, 640x960, ohlord.jpg)
    57 KB
    >>15750217
    >>15750224
    >>15750236
    >>15750257
    >>15750279
    >>15750282
    >>15750286

    The binds are too strong and she is starting to ignore you.

    You wiggle, squirm, fidget, shout loudly and basically act entirely demented.

    She continues walking.

    She seems to be getting closer to her destination however as you can faintly feel the humidty rising around you.

    Now would be a good time to think of something intelligent to do.

    You doubt faking will work on her- she's outwitted your mastery of fireing a gun with your ass - too crafty.
    >> deleted 07/29/11(Fri)20:37 No.15750333
    Shout "Help! Help! I'm being kidnapped!"
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:40 No.15750356
    Demand to be released.

    If we are not then attempt to loudly place a black magical curse on the creature, it may not work but perhaps the thing is superstitious.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)20:41 No.15750362
    THE NECROMANCER offers her the chance to share with THE NECROMANCER the pleasures of the flesh.

    HAHA disregard that THE NECROMANCER sucks cocks. I guess THE NECROMANCER will go along with her, and once she arrives at her destination turn her species against her.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:48 No.15750406
    Declare that if it does not immediately let go of THE NECROMANCER we will tell its superiors that we were raped by it.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:50 No.15750422
         File1311987041.jpg-(68 KB, 643x413, 1311381220289.jpg)
    68 KB
    ITT: ADHD
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)20:51 No.15750431
         File1311987098.jpg-(56 KB, 960x640, ahfuck.jpg)
    56 KB
    >>15750333
    >>15750356
    >>15750362

    You shout for help that you're being kidnapped.

    She tells you there isn't a sentient being around for miles and that you're wasting your time.

    You threaten to fuck her in the ASSHOLE if she does not let you go.

    She tells you her species does not have sphincters.

    You offer to fuck her in whatever she has if she lets you go.

    "Look, I'm not even abducting you- According to the manual on humans you had the same responce as 1 out of every 14 humans, alright?"

    She puts out her cigerette.

    "I'm taking you away and putting you back into a more appropriate spot in the wild so you can fend for yourself. You're far too feral for Modern day humans- you must have some Mutant in you."

    Her ship is in sight- it's large and looks as though it's breathing and seems to be made out of some kind of fleshy, green, fuzzy material.
    "I regret letting you suck on my fruit; you fucking little trogolodyte."
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:52 No.15750437
    >>15750406
    >>15750362
    And demand that THE NECROMANCER's pimp cane be returned him.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:55 No.15750452
    >>15750431
    Stare at her and engrave her image into THE NECROMANCERS mind. Ask her her name.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)20:57 No.15750477
         File1311987476.png-(54 KB, 204x255, 130988719239.png)
    54 KB
    Cut that shit off you jackass
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)21:00 No.15750500
    Should've gone for the hug-trap
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:02 No.15750526
    >>15750431
    Tell her that we would rather be a free man than live under the yoke of alien oppression.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)21:13 No.15750644
         File1311988412.jpg-(59 KB, 640x960, ohforfucksakes.jpg)
    59 KB
    >>15750452

    You already remember her name when she told you at. >>15749625


    >>15750437
    >>15750477
    >>15750500
    >>15750526

    She strips you down.
    She unties you.
    She throws you into the centre of the ship and before you can react you're enveloped in an amoebic like sprout and you're out of it.


    The Feral man known only as NECROMANCER is now transported to a place he's only been told as, "appropriate spot in the wild so you can fend for yourself."

    Roll to see where Keisha thinks is an apropriate spot to place you in.


    This place might not even be earth- just roll a number and it will be decided.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:14 No.15750653
    >>15750452
    This.

    Revenge shall be plotted, her name will be engraved in our memory forever.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:14 No.15750663
    rolled 11 = 11

    >>15750644
    Rolling
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:19 No.15750744
    rolled 7 = 7

    Tell her that we will come for her.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)21:21 No.15750769
    rolled 35 = 35

    The middle of a feral human community on earth.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:24 No.15750827
         File1311989070.jpg-(37 KB, 498x614, 1311387096002.jpg)
    37 KB
    >>15750644
    You are derailling your own quest, OP
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:24 No.15750831
    rolled 36 = 36

    Ask her if she'll leave us in a city, or somewhere like that.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)21:27 No.15750876
    >>15750827

    Who said anything about anything?

    All this story requires is to be in the future and to be fun.

    The story ends when the main character dies or everyone loses interest.

    Honestly- since everyone is so blood thirsty I'm thinking of doing an adventure in hell next.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)21:29 No.15750915
    rolled 30 = 30

    >>15750876
    NECROMANCER 2: HIGHWAY TO HELL
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:32 No.15750947
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>15750876
    >since everyone is so blood thirsty I'm thinking of doing an adventure in hell next.

    Oh come now, we just wanted to partially devour one xenos, you can't tell how many we would have slaughtered after that.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:33 No.15750967
    >>15750876
    I'm just disappointed you ditch the story to please the hyper active kids...
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:37 No.15751011
    >>15750967
    Sorry to disappoint you old man.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)21:41 No.15751062
         File1311990091.jpg-(47 KB, 640x960, revenge.jpg)
    47 KB
    >>15750967

    I'm not ditching the story.
    The story remains what the readers make it out to be.

    >>15750663
    >>15750744
    >>15750769
    >>15750915
    >>15750947
    ROLL- 30'S SOMEWHERE FAMILIAR YET RUGGED.

    PART 2 -THE HUNT-

    You wake up angry at the bottom of a crater.
    The rest of you feels fantastic though.

    You look around and notice Keisha has left you: A carpet, a rifle, a backpack filled with yet unknown contents, and she has placed the waist skirt on you properly.

    She seems to have de-skulled you though.
    What a Bitch.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:45 No.15751117
    >>15751062
    >She seems to have de-skulled you though.

    Howl at the sky and swear to the uncaring gods that her skull shall one day make THE NECROMANCER's new codpiece
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:46 No.15751143
    >>15751062
    Check the contents of the backpack.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:48 No.15751187
    what's our hat doing on our waist? put it back on our head.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:49 No.15751198
    >>15751062
    Replace waist skirt to proper proper position, feel dejected at the lack of skulls, check rifle and backpack.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)21:50 No.15751213
    >>15751062
    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:50 No.15751214
    do we even know how to use a rifle?
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:54 No.15751261
    Declare with a booming voice that this place now belongs to THE NECROMANCER.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)21:58 No.15751320
    >>15751062
    put hat back on head
    break off rifles barrel for a substitute cane
    wear carpet as cape
    check backpack
    prepare to find more skulls
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)22:02 No.15751399
    >>15751320
    THE NECROMANCER makes THE NECROMANCER feel proud.
    >> Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)22:04 No.15751424
         File1311991454.jpg-(49 KB, 960x640, whatabitch.jpg)
    49 KB
    >>15751117
    >>15751143
    >>15751187
    >>15751198
    >>15751213

    You're very upset about being de-skulled.
    Every single one of those skulls was a dear friend to you that had protected a dear part of you.

    Keisha will have to pay some time for that, but for now she has packed you goodies:
    250x .30mm Bullets for your Rifle
    7x days worth of Food (Human)
    7x days worth of Water
    1x full set of clothes
    1x Hunting knife

    And a note.
    Thankfully you can read.

    "Dear "necromancer",
    Since you seem like the rough and tumble sort of guy I've left you to fend for yourself in a place I think you'll really belong: Mercury. I'll be coming to check up on you in 3 weeks."

    "Best regaurds,
    Keisha."


    She seems to have dumped you on Mercury as some sick joke.

    You put on your waist skirt hat back on.

    You seem to have your work cut out for you.
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)22:06 No.15751453
    >>15751424
    PREPARE TRAPS.
    >> THE NECROMANCER 07/29/11(Fri)22:08 No.15751474
    >>15751424
    Scream at the top of THE NECROMANCERS lungs a challenge to those who would start THE NECROMANCERS new collection
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)22:14 No.15751524
    THE NECROMANCER hunts for new skulls this day/night. Find an adequate defensible position, fortify it and set pitfall traps, THE NECROMANCER will taste of the alien's knowledge yet.
    >> OH MAN- MOVIE NIGHT, PIZZA TIME. Brudkleiser 07/29/11(Fri)22:15 No.15751528
    It's 8 o lock and that means it's time for friday movie and friday pizza.


    It's been real fun and even though I was only able to please 1 crowd of you- I hope you guys enjoyed it.


    Next week I might throw something together that takes place in hell or I might finally bring back the Trolls.

    I'm leaning towards Trolls, but I really want to try a lot of new stories on you guys.


    Let me know what you guys think!
    >> Anonymous 07/29/11(Fri)22:15 No.15751533
    >>15751424
    Put that set of clothes on. Wandering around mercury's surface without any protection is probably a bad idea.



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