>I am no longer allowed to make a Librarian in Deathwatch due to Daemon Princes, Daemon Princes everywhere!

I love shit like this, so here's the original list that started these threads:
http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html

>I am no longer allowed to take Knowledge skills in either Politics or Law

>Additionally I am no longer allowed to outshine the BBEG

I am no longer allowed to roll a Tech-Priest for Dark Heresy due to the Gellar Field Incident.

>I am no longer allowed to use Sphere of Chaos at the beginning of every boss fight, making the entire build up pointless as he's turned into a squirrel

>I can no longer make a mace out of a bone and a skull, cast Animate Dead in the middle of battle, and basically have a penalty three off hand weapon

>I am no longer allowed to respond to combat damage on the stack.

>>15726706
>sadfrog.jpg

> I am no longer allowed to weaponize goats and/or rabbits.

It's a long story.

>>15726706

/thread

I am no longer allowed to tame kobolds.

> No matter what I write to the enemy, by reading it they do NOT forfeit their right to pursue me afterwards.

>>15726726
>>15726680

Ok these 2 need some explanation.

>>15726770

That reminds me.

I'm no longer allowed to memorise explosive runes.

>>15726778

I was faced with a plant monster that regenerated 2d20 hit points every round and had six attacks. I did the only thing a first-level paladin could do: I weaponized the goats.

>>15726778
No, man, that's the whole point of these. They're so bizarre, they're just Noodle Incidents. Telling the story ruins the mystery, and thus the humor.

> I am not allowed to steal the enemy captain's clothing, no matter what the dice say.

>>15726811
These "I am no longer allowed to..." things often strike me as "who would disallow that? That's pretty awesome". This is an example of that.

My wizard is no longer allowed to kill a stranger just to have his entry into a graveyard seem not dubious.

Same character is no longer allowed to use telekinesis to push aside aggressive patrons in a bar.

Also, he is not allowed to come within touch distance of a vampire with a stake in its heart.

In fact, the entire party isn't.

I'm no longer allowed to play a wizard with strength 14.

I critted the shit out of everything with weapons I wasn't even proficent with.

> There is not, has never been, and never will be a relevant check to capture a chimera in mid flight. End of discussion.

I am no longer allowed to panic over rental vans. Especially if I didn't do the renting. ESPECIALLY if I may cause a heart attack in whoever is flying the plane at the moment.

> If I'm crossplaying as a female character, it's actually better than the alternative if I sexualize her.

>No longer allowed to have 6 ranks in knowledge skill: Seattle Sewer System and Rank 6 in Demolitions on the same character.
>Honest Achmed is not a valid character concept
>"Honest" Achmed is also vetoed
>Honest Achmed: Used Car Salesman is allowed.
>No longer allowed to install cranial bombs in rats and release them over the course of months into a corp facility before a run
>No longer allowed to install cranial bombs into teammates
>Cranial bombs are no longer allowed for any character I play

>>15726680

>>15726778 here.

Basically, your average DH game, hunting heretics, running from daemons, etc.

We had hitched a ride on an Inquisitorial ship travelling to another sector on the trail of this cult we had been tracking down, when a massive riot broke out, caused by a bunch of angry menials wanting better living conditions, like not being used as lubricant for the ship's guns. They ended up breaking a Gellar Field projector-Macguffin-doo-hickey, and we were the closest group of loyalists with a tech-priest capable of fixing it (that would be me). So we hoof it over there, while the Gellar Field on the ship flickers and fades, letting in all sorts of daemons, who proceed to start killing everything in sight. We lost half the party just trying to get to the projector-doo-hickey, and with the fate of not just the party but the entire ship itself, I rolled to repair the damaged machine.

I rolled a 100.

The GM ruled that I completely obliterated the projector in my clumsy attempt to fix it, thus permanently leaving a hole for the daemons to come in and murder us. TPK.

>>I am no longer allowed to fly at the BBEG as a falcon, and then polymorph into a rhino just before hitting him.

I call it, the Inter-Continental Ballistic Rhino.

>>15726832

It was a fun character to play.

>I am no longer allowed to make subtle, complex schemes spanning a significant number of sessions that result in me becoming or controlling the following: Lords, Barons, Dukes, Kings, Emperors, or any other titled person that involves the control of significant amounts of land and/or people.

I am no longer allowed to dual-wield storm bolters.

> There is no such thing as "vorpal swordchucks" and I am most certainly not allowed to craft them.

I am not allowed to persistently use my magics to trick another party members into thinking their shiny new weapons the DM rewarded them are sentient and cursed items.

I will be kicked out of the group if I model the faux-sentient weapons' personalities after the Marx Bros and force the DM to use Chico Marx's accent in the application of my ruse.

>I am no longer allowed to play blitzball with Kraken.

There was some insane charisma and speed and strength checks man.

> I am no longer allowed to open up a ranch full of the self-replicating puppies I found.

>Insighting a global thermonuclear war by impersonating the President is in poor taste.

>> I am no longer allowed to play a T3 Droid filled with Thermal Detonators and newly found Genocidal outlook on organics due to a botched repair job.

My LE Drow Warlock/Mindbender/Wizard/Eldritch Theurge is no longer allowed to practice any kind of macroeconomics in the city of Greyhawk.

I am not allowed to use the Fannin' skill on a rifle with a revolving chamber. No, not even if I brace it on a wall.

>>15726832

I find that a lot of the times DMs get very attached to the way they expect the fight to go down, and get especially mad when the players contrive a clever way to defeat the bad guy without even hearing his speech.

>>15726866
Are you me? I am just banned from Demolitions as a whole though.

This is a thousand times better than those "you raff you ruse" threads on /b/

>I am no longer allowed to play a Monk who thinks he's a charmander.
Also, related:
>I am no longer allowed to roll for firebreath.

>>15726976
Ooh, that reminds me!

I am no longer allowed to fire a Deathstrike Missile at point-blank range at a Daemon Prince.

>>15726976
If you're going to be like that, what's the point in DMing at all. If you want to spend your evenings reading people stories they have no interaction in, have children. I like seeing things go the way I don't expect them to. It's why I play pen and paper RPGs.

>I am no longer allowed to play necromancers with any ability to create black powder or alchemist fire.
>If I play a necromancer I am not allowed near flint and steel or torches just in case and purchase of said previous items is forbidden.

>the game world is no longer allowed to evolve to account for clever, setting-consistent tactics having logically been used throughout its history because players want it generic and exploitable, not esoteric and genre-savvy

>>15727002
Pretty sure that's what Dragonfire Adept is for.

>Playing the "Tech" user is a privilege, not a right.
>No longer allowed to advance the development of Plasma Weapons in any setting.
>Plasma Weapons, if in setting, are banned from any of my characters.
>Harnessing a star and using it as a "Plasma Weapon" is in poor taste.

I am no longer allowed to use the spell Magic Jar, place my lifeless body in an adamantine coffin, and have it carried by two T-rexes raised by animate dead.

>>15726811
Shit, I would've given you a ton of bonus exp for cleverly overcoming the encounter in an unexpected and brilliant manner.

Because I am not a dick of a DM who gets asspained about games.

>>15727038
except I wasn't one at all, have never heard of that and we were playing Iron claw.

So yeah... Also, I succeeded every roll of fire breathing and crit-ed.

>I am no longer allowed either as player or DM to portray female characters. If the question of how my worlds are populated is raised the answer is "macro mitosis".

>I am no longer allowed to wield a butcher-knife the size of a small house.

>I am no longer allowed to start summoning Shadows at level 5.

>I am no longer allowed to raise zombies at level 1.

>I am no longer allowed to play a necromancer. No exceptions.

>If I play a class that has Animate Dead or any such spell on its list, that spell is removed.

>>15727092
Animate dead is so goddamn good. You can have two skellingtons twice your HD

>>I am no longer permitted to initate the industrial revolution, regardless of the fact that the DM just gave us rocks constantly give off fire, and I have 20 int.
>>I am no longer permitted to break the masquerade.
>>I am no longer permitted to crack the masquerade.
>>I am no longer permitted to touch the masquerade.
>>Videos of werewolves on Youtube counts as touching the Masquerade.
>>So does footage of a changeling burning off his mask.
>>Common Sense is not a feat, now go into the dungeon already.

>>15727049
I am not allowed to "improve" or "kit out" my mount.

I am not allowed to do suggest any plan of action concerning dinosaurs, the party is to decide all interactions with dinosaurs.

>No longer allowed to play a Throwing Adept that specializes in throwing Mortar Shells.
>No longer allowed to play a character that uses nothing but joke weaponry.

>>15727113
Speaking of "pimp my mount"... I once created a half-red dragon troll who rode on a Remorhaz.

Oh, and the time I played Angry Troll Bob, the half-brass golem half-black-dragon troll who was immune to... well... prety much everything.

Oh. I am no longer allowed to apply templates to Troll characters.

I am no longer allowed to play Troll characters, regardless of the Level Adjustment.

I am no longer allowed poison and I must appreciate the level of complexity that my DM goes through when he makes all those NPCs.

>>15727092
Oh yeah almost forgot.

>I am no longer allowed to summon an Allip, track down a Tarrasque, and then open up a bar and grill on top of its now-lobotomized body.

>I am no longer allowed to use Mage Hand to sodomize my enemies into confessing secrets.

>My bard is no longer allowed to craft disguises out of dead enemies' skins.

>I am no longer allowed to consider the Paladin's mount a food source, when we run out of rations.

>And I am most certainly not allowed to make a rogue 1/bard 1 and refer to myself a level 2 Pimp.

this is an epic thread, I enjoyed this

Apparently using a magical bondage chain to enslave one of the final bosses while they are unconscious provokes opportunity attacks. Hmpf. Said Fine, I won't enslave her now and use her to kill her own minions, I'll kill all her minions and then enslave her.

>I am no longer allowed to 'Prepare for every situation'

>No longer allowed to play a D&D cleric with Galoshers for when we go into the Sewer.

>Never again allowed to play a Berserker who sings 'Sons of Odin' as he fights.

>>15727110 Continued
>> I am no longer permitted to colonize dungeons. Even if the Kobolds are willing to pay rent.
>>I am no longer allowed to learn Draconic, Goblin, Orcish, or any other 'antagonist' language.
>>Kobold Baseball, while fun, does not count as a situational bonus for intimidate checks.

>I am no longer allowed to break dance for money in a medievil town.

>I am not allowed to create a giant inhabitable golem armed with a railgun in D&D.
>I am not allowed to design an antimatter powered explosive dispersed in air in modern day GURPS
>I am not allowed to bring forth the industrial revolution using a recharging wand of fire
>I am not allowed to design the jet engine through judicious use of the reverse gravity spell, a circular container, and a turbine full of water
>I am not allowed to construct a necro-puter
>I am not allowed to play any researcher, artificer, or engineer ever again

>>15726969
Weaponized macroeconomics? YOU MONSTER!

>Railroading a D&D 4.0 campaign so that we can play D&D 3.5 in-character is no longer allowed.
>Railroading the 3.5 campaign-campaign so that we can play 3.0 in-character in-character is no longer allowed.
>Inception jokes are no longer allowed at the table.

>>15727214
I just watched that movie last night

>I am no longer able to bluff people into thinking I am their biological father, regardless of roll.

I am no longer allowed to use the Blacksmithing skill to reverse the way doors open.

I am no longer allowed to build traps that turn city guards into chocolate pudding and then bombard them with spoons.

I am no longer allowed to play Dread Necromancers in order to create armies of undead that create and command their own undead.

These aren't all from me, but all from the same campaign
>There is no excuse for curling up to take a nap in the middle of battle
>Not allowed to sneak up on the enemies and drop melee weapons on them from 200 feet above
>When gifted with an enchanted fullblade by a bartender, you are obligated to remember his name
>When gifted with an enchanted fullblade by a bartender, you should actually ask him his name
>Not allowed to have that grey render as a pet
>Or the party mascot
>Or the comic relief
>Never again will putting a sleeping PC’s hand into warm water become an important plot point
>The Sacred Panties of Avandra do not exist, they are neither artifacts nor boons
>Using Astral Seal to punch each other until fully healed is patently ridiculous, and against the concept of a cleric
>Permanent character death awaits the next person who names anything after a Pokemon
>Phasing is not an excuse to completely fuck the game’s mechanics
>Pulling a weapon on a distinguished celebrity in his own home while surrounded by local government officials, guards, and innocent civilians without having ever decided on a plan that takes all the previous elements into account is an excellent way to get your DM to cry

>My barbarian is no longer allowed to throw the Druid's animal companion at enemies, when he loses his weapons.

>I am no longer allowed to KEEP my auto-eject button on my battlemech on at all times.

>I am no longer allowed to cast spells on a male bear to disguise it as a female woman, explaining that I'm making a bear trap.
>I am no longer allowed to quip "well, that's dead handy" when we find it's easier to cut the arms of skeletons than it is to kill them.
>I am no longer allowed to say "you specialize in lightning magic? That's shocking! What... I was expecting thunderous applause for that!
>I am no longer allowed to make terrible puns.

>No longer allowed to weaponize midget porn
>No longer allowed to weaponize troll porn
>No longer allowed to weaponize any porn
>No longer allowed to weaponize homeless people with digestible, binary explosives.
The diet coke and mentos trick just got dangerous.

>Offering to give guards head then biting off their cocks, followed by swiping the keys and swallowing the severed member is no longer a viable escape method from jails. Even with Charisma 20.
Though the guard did become a recurring antagonist. We called him stumpy.

>No longer allowed to play psionic characters because the DM somehow forgets how to read when I lend him the book and he's always surprised when I do something he's not expecting.
>No longer allowed to try to explain why I'm allowed to do something.
>No longer allowed to make characters that have feats from the Expanded Psionics Handbook because having a Fighter that can hit harder with his bare hand than he can with his greatsword is apparently broken.
>No longer allowed to ask if the gods have reintroduced the concept of psionics.
>The gods have, in fact, forsaken me. They will not explain why. Stop asking.
>I'm to turn in my character sheet for evaluation upon creation, after leveling up, and anytime there's a question about my abilities.
>As an addendum to the above, I'm to turn in my character sheet and give a verbal synopsis of what my character is capable of before play begins.
>A verbal synopsis should include anything a vanilla fighter cannot do.
>A vanilla fighter cannot cast Mage Hand as a spell-like ability.
>"Vanilla" means "Limited solely to the Player's Handbook."
>The Player's Handbook does not allow a vanilla fighter to break the fourth wall.
>Dave is making my characters from now on.

I am never allowed to play anything besides a warrior, no, not even a commoner, for the DM fears what I will do with a commoner.

>>15727334
>The Player's Handbook does not allow a vanilla fighter to break the fourth wall.

Please tell me this is actually possible, I'd love to see a build that breaks the fourth wall.

>I am no longer allowed to reconstruct a Bag of Holding into a D&D TARDIS

>>15727113

MY GOD that picture gives me flashbacks

fuck Transformers give Micheal Bay Dino Riders, there is no way he can fuck that up

>I can no longer castrate or otherwise torture the BBEG and let him live

>I am no longer allowed to DM unless I am not making up the story as I go.

I mean come on, They travelled through time multiple times, saved the future made the reincarnation of the dudemeister, and raised the ship arizona as a flag ship in a battle against a giant demi-god.
They also fought the God of casuality and Rene de cart as the leader of the Tenesse mafia.

>>15727347
Take any character minmaxed by a munchkin.

>Capturing a reoccurring awakened BBEG, installing various, useless second-hand cyberware, and then releasing him after his magic burns out, is no longer allowed.

>>15727347

I wrote in Skill Focus(Heal).

I then rolled and hit the DM in the arm and told him it was aversion therapy for, in effect, saying that Fighters shouldn't be allowed to do anything fun.

>I am no longer allowed to sit in the middle of the road as the allied general rides up and keep insulting him until the entire army charges us to keep face.

>I am also no longer allowed to "experiment" on the local tavern wenches until they get pregnant in every town the party enters.

>I am defiantly not allowed to "recruit" my sons and daughters and train them as an elite mercenary unit and take over the borderland "king"s lands.

>Last but not least, I can no longer become the BBEG in a bid to take over the empire for the next 20 years...

>i am no longer allowed to play scouts

the DM got annoyed that i kept 1 rounding his boss enemies

>>15727423
Guess they couldn't handle all the Bonks you were giving them.

>I am no longer allowed to play mansions of madness.

Okay, I am, but I almost got out of it.

I am no longer allowed to use ninth level spells.

>I am no longer allowed to run D&D games

Ok, so maybe Temple of the Spider Queen made you itch all night and the Dungeon of Non-Euclidean Madness caused your brain to explode. It's alright. I made up this new one I call Unterwyrm Cavern...

>>15727404
Ha. I've got something similar.

>I am no longer allowed to use my ridiculous Bluff check to convince everyone I was the BBEG all along; including the BBEG himself.

>I am no longer allowed to use my ridiculous Bluff and Disguise check to become the BBEG after we kill him.

>I am no allowed to somehow end up as the BBEG.

>>15727434
i used my skills to make ridiculous amounts of money early on and bought tons of high end gear with it

i couldnt hit below 30 on a successful hit at level 4 and thats just with my main hand weapon :3c i love scouts

>I am no longer allowed to bring philosophy into our campaigns and make the whole party question their ethics and understandings. Furthermore I am not allowed to use my philosophy against bosses and enemies and succeed.

>>15727190

I am his DM in that campaign. I allowed him to invent Doughnuts, and I allowed him to build an automatic tanglefoot bag launcher, but I had to draw the line at introducing credit default swaps.

>>15727229
Gold. Absolute gold.

I am not allowed to play a character with long-term memory loss who uses a specific combination of colours of never-ending chalk to remind himself where he has gone. I have to remember it myself.

>I am not allowed to play games where your attack bonus is based on how loud you are shouting in the FLGS.
>I, specifically, am not allowed to play or run FATAL in the FLGS.
>I am no longer allowed to play or run anything in the front room of the FLGS.

>>15727175
Magical bondage chain? Details, please.

>I am no longer allowed to shove another party member off a cliff into a canyon, no matter how sure I am that gravity is not functioning normally.

>>15726799
You're my hero.

>>15727292
Terrible puns at our table cause XP loss after the first and if continued character death.

> I am no longer allowed to play a Bard
> I am no longer allowed to play an insomniac
> I am no longer allowed to play an insomniac Bard

>>15726305
I am actually encouraged to play wild mages, care-free rogues, swash bucklers, alchemists and any other sort of slightly-random/absent-minded character in nature - because I have a cool DM who can actually manage whatever shit I pull off.
Just a few of the things I did with a wildmage (homebrew setting/slightly modded class for the setting):
>Caused a very angry archmage who was laying waste to a druids grove to wildsurge his meteor spells and the 3 giant war golems he brought along also surged and collapsed
>Accidentally turned a partymember into minced meat in my backpack (he had gone inactive 4 sessions in a row)
>Accidentally killed all elves in existance. Tried destroying a demonic poison which would kill any elf it came in contact with - with a fireball thinking that it probably burns. It didnt. My fireball vaporized it, sending it into the atmosphere and spreading it all over the world. Woops.
>Releasing a chaotic god of magic, the source of all magic on the plane and hellbent on destroying the plane apparantly. Agan, woops - but hey we had a BBEG to fight. Also she was hot and promised me stuff so what was I supposed to do!?
>Pissed off the Queen to such a degree that we (being royal inquisitors) were renounced and tried in absentia for treason and there is now a massive reward on our heads.

Oh god I love our DM.

>I am not allowed to weaponize any animals

>If "Tarrasque" "Airship" and "Catch" appear in the same sentence, my character will drop dead

>Throwing the dwarf is not an attack

>Throwing the dwarf is not a form of greeting

>Throwing the dwarf is not a form of dance

>I am no longer allowed to play a character based on Cody Travers.

>>15727562
I like you good sir.

>>15727558
I'm a DM, and when I read these threads, and just wonder why people put up with such bullshit.

Your DM is who I want to be. I like the challenge of my players being creative/quirky, turning up everything to 11 and screwing up all my carefully laid plans. I know people like to have their story told, but the game is more about the players than the story.

>>15727559
Throwing Small Races is a pastime in my game.

My DM high fived me, when my Warforged Barbarian raged, and threw the halfing Druid at the BBEG.

She shifted into a Rhino, and promptly crushed him.
Liches have soft bones.

>>15727562
>I am also no longer allowed to play a Character based off of Mike Haggar.

But you can't fuck with the Haggar!

>I am not longer allowed to derail the campaign to make the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich
>I am no longer allowed to derail the campaign to make the perfect cup of tea
>or the perfect set on underpants
>or any other set of cloths
>I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO MOBILIZE THE PEASANTRY FOR ANY REASON EVER AGAIN
>Even if the GM loves my bullshit and can handle it
Apparently the GM loves my bullshit but when we hit level 15 and had never even seen the "main story" enough was enough and the group threatened mutiny

I am no longer allowed to aim in: agility, unarmed, challenge enemies in hand to hand combat, outsmart demons and jerk around demons until they say "stop sending me on meaningless errands, I'll do anything" as a mage, last time that happened i turned into a moutherfucking kenshiro with superpowers

>>15727590
Ill be sure to pass it on to him. He would appreciate that kind of feedback.

To be honest, we in the group spoke about me hugging the spotlight after I took it up because I was worried the other guys were annoyed. Turns out they love it. My character is a narssiscistic asshole on the outside but his conscience really bothers him with all the crap he pulls. Not that he would ever admit that though because think of what it would do to his reputation!

Basically, he is just a very weak human being, with all the flaws that brings with it - also he is a wild mage who knows it is illigal magic but if he stops it people wont be as impressed anymore! He needs that fix and he is prepared to ignore the fact that there may be consequences - and when the consequences DO come he feels terrible! He even spent 6000gold on an especially trained poodle for one of the other characters and sent it anonymously as a way to apologise for accidentally letting whores move in and form a guild in his town. He is a paladin btw so it didnt really fly with him but he never found out WHO in the group did it or even if the seal was real or a forgery - he suspected forgery. Not that the other character ever found out why the hell he got a poodle all of the sudden or where it came from but still.

> I am no longer allowed to base merchant NPCs off of pawn stars

>Not allowed to form an adventure's guild and make NPCs do my quests for me
>Not allowed to form any form of guild
>Not allowed to unionize.
>Not allowed to write "Communist Manifesto" and hand out free copies to the villagers

scout guy here
>im no longer allowed to create characters with the "raised by wolves" background
>no anon i dont care you only use it to piss on the BBEG when we kill him
>im no longer allowed to piss on the BBEG anyway

>>15727713
Oh yeah and the conclusion - their oppinion was that it helped drive the story because he was such an asshole. Whenever stuff went just a little too slow, he would break something horribly and fire it up again.

And quite a lot of scenes were apparantly pretty hilarious. Upon reaching level 7 for instance, I actually picked Fabricate as a spell. Not because we needed it or needed money or anything - no I did it to show off infront of the pesants so I could look awesome.

... And also to get some pesant girl action if I know my character well but it always just faded to black at first hint that something like that might happen so all in all very good.

>I am no longer allowed to play an engineer in a fantasy setting, last time i build a fully automatic crossbow and a gun so powerful it removed the BBEG's torso so fast that the limbs did not follow it.

>Buying land around the BBEG's castle is allowed
>Improving the land around the BBEG's catle is allowed
>Doing so to drive up the property value of the castle so the BBEG can't afford taxes is not allowed
>BBEGs don't have to pay taxes anymore
>Economics are no longer included in game besides for shops.

>>15727590
It's a bit more than that. We (the average poster ITT) aren't usually COMPLETELY disallowed from our specific action, but think of it as we've run the joke into the ground and it wouldn't work anymore.

>no longer allowed to have theme music for each of my spells

not me, but someone in my party

>'Speak softly and carry a big stick' is not to be taken literally.

>>15727812
Final Countdown is Every theme song.

It's not a trick... it's an ILLUSION!!!!

>>15727743
>>15727187
All right, I really must ask. How the FUCK are you guys bulding railguns/weaponized golems in D&D?

inb4 peasant railgun, I really must know how to make my retarded artificer worthwhile.

My DM has revoked his "Sure, your druid can have abilities that whatever animal you shift into ought to have" and "Sure, you can be a ridiculously oversized or undersized version of whatever animal you want to shift into" policies.

Thus, I am no longer allowed to skip areas by shifting into a giant termite and eating my way through the wooden door, nor am I allowed to skip levels of a dungeon by shifting into an eagle, flying up to an open window, shifting back, and letting down a rope for the rest of the party.

> I am no longer allowed drive a motorbike through a door or window and up 25 flights of stairs.

> I am no longer allowed use "Exotic Melee Weapon: Monofilament Whip" when charging someone on a motorbike.

> SHIIIING thu-thunk is not a meme.

>>15727868
> can't fly in eagle form and drop a rope
Then what the fuck's the point? That's a perfectly valid strategy. As for the Termite thing, just shift into Bear, and CRUSH DOOR

>>15727889
We were sneaking. The solution was some kind of bomb squad puzzle about cutting the right wire.

Also, when a Small companion and I are trying to escape from something, I am no longer allowed to shape into cheetah, let the companion mount me, and bolt the hell out of there at 70 mph.

Also, as I'm no longer able to partially shape, I can no longer be a half-bat half-parrot, able to echolocate and then tell my companions what I see.

>>15727919
> let my companion mount me
*snerk*

>>15727919
Corollary: I am not allowed to shift into Small things. The rules already said this, but the DM cares, now.

This means I'm not allowed to shift into a very small bat and use echolocation and my tiny bat hands to drive a companion like in Rattatoille. Again.

>>15727919
The PLANNED solution is a bomb squad puzzle.
My group once bypassed a whole adventure by bobsledding down the mountain of giants in collapsible metal canoes. There's nothing wrong with innovative solutions.

I am no longer allowed to corrupt gods that fellow partiers pray to...

>I am not allowed to pickpocket the fighters fake eye
>I am not allowed to pickpocket the mages spell components
>I am not allowed to be a warlock
>I am not allowed to take the leadership feat and have a warlock or mage buddy
>Nor am I allowed to have a cleric or druid buddy
>or an archivist
>I am not allowed to take the leadership feat
>I cannot backstab with the prow of a ship
>I cannot backstab with the dwarf paladin
>I cannot backstab with another player at all
>I cannot backstab with an NPC either
>I cannot play a rogue
>Or a beguiler
>I cannot own a rod of wonder
>I am not allowed to play a lawful good cleric in an evil party
>I am not allowed to play a Lawful evil cleric in a good party
>I cannot have access to any alchemical items
>I cannot be a monster race
>I cannot be a non-core pc race
>I cannot be a non-human

I have more if you want em

>>15727919
>Also, as I'm no longer able to partially shape, I can no longer be a half-bat half-parrot, able to echolocate and then tell my companions what I see.
There is a variant druid made for that.

>>15727979
your DM sounds like he has a stick shoved so far up his ass he can taste it

>>15727987
His policy is "Ok, but you didn't take that."

Which is a solid policy.

In campaigns where we have enough starting money, I am no longer allowed to purchase a No-Sword.

I am no longer allowed to diplomacy all sentient things out of attacking us.

Because of me, Ruby Knight Vindicator is now a forbidden class in our character skirmishes.
Same for Planar Shepard.
Same for...oh crap what was that class called? It was in Book of Vile Darkness, it's the one that lets you Hivemind. Was it Vermin Lord?

I am no longer allowed to play characters with below average INT ("Yes, -I- know this is a trap, but my character is simply too dim to realize that!").

I am no longer allowed to carry a fist-sized stone on a rope with me (Trapped corridor? Throw the rope-stone. Enemy? Throw the rope-stone. Magic afoot? Throw the rope-stone. Hanging on a cliffside, about to fall? Throw the rope-stone, use it as a grappling hook. Got stripped of our weapons and walked into a trap? You bet your ass I throw the rope-stone. That fucking stone saved my ass countless times and ruined countless plot threads).

I am no longer, under any circumstances, allowed to roll characters with any points in any diplomacy skills (Long story, involves a slightly primitive race of lizard-people and the valuable resource they sat on, Saruman-ish industrialization, a tide of unstoppable death-Lizards in wooden tanks and my eventual ascent to world domination).

>>15728001
Yeah our group recently changed DM's and this guy is a tool who hates if we try to get off his rails. I troll the guy hardcore as I dont like him at all. I am being a thatguy but the rest of the party finds it hilarious.

>Big fight with BBEG wizard. Wizard is described as pulling components out of pouches on his belt
>potion of greater invisibility
>Try to steal spell components
>"WHARRBLEFLARBLE! YOU CANT DO THAT! THE MAGE HAS TRUE SEEING AND HITS YOU WITH MAGIC MISSILE"

>I am no longer allowed to buy gear that lets me kill dragons easily
>I am no longer allowed to call all dragons by "Scaly Sue"
>I am no longer allowed to trick kings into thinking a local dragon is trying to steal his daughter
>I am no longer allowed to rally a mob to hunt down dragons

Fuck this guy has a massive hard on for dragons. I am getting absolutely tired of NPC was totally a dragon all along.

>I can never roll diplomacy high enough to have sex with the queen
>I can never roll bluff high enough to distort reality
>I am no longer allowed to throw the gnome hexblade
>If i even am remotely involved with a paladin, i will fall, even if i am doing a good act
>I am no longer allowed to tame (homebrew) dragons. Jury is out on other creatures.
>I am no longer allowed to play an artificer.

>>15727868
>>15727868
Yeah that's a completely valid strategy. There should just be really tough monsters there ready to eat you or something, or he should just say "Yes, you have bypassed the first fifteen dungeon levels." then just use the first dungeon level he was going to have you guys wander through as this level you just entered. I mean seriously, is he retarded? What about a mage with a "fly" spell doing the rope dropping? Derp derp.

>>15728111
>rope-stone

BRILLIANT!

>10 foot poles no longer exist any any campaigns
>Combing a 5' pole and 5' pole results in them vanishing
>Same with any lengths of pole that equals 10'

>>15728111
I will now use the rope-stone in my next game.

>>15728217

Make an 11' pole.

>My dwarven bard is no longer to speak of his beard philosophies, including (but not limited too) letting one's beard, chest, bodily, and pubic hair grow into one incredible MEGABEARD
>My dwarven bard also say he wears a kilt to let the wind whistle through his "lowbeard"
>I am no longer allowed to diplomacy the bandits out of their weapons

>>15728111
ALL HAIL THE ROPE-STONE!
Also, stealing it for all future characters, no matter the system.

>>15728111
I once used sun-rod-on-rope, mainly to look into dark room without walkint in it, but it also helped me to find giant spider web in another room. DM didn' complained about it, though my character had pretty low int.

>I am no longer allowed to let the little girl go
Lesson hard learned with the lives of three men.

>>15728241
It wouldn't have worked then.

I'm never ever ever allowed to drive a bus again, People still call me E-brake, its been nearly 9 years.

It wont let me post the rest :(

>I am not allowed to upload my consciousness onto a tank
>I am not allowed to upload my consciousness onto a car
>I am most certainly not allowed to upload my consciousness onto an Imperial battleship.

>>15728305
Also
>driving a bus into the building IS NOT a tactical breach
>ramming a hijacked starship into the Avatar of the Goddess of Hope and Mercy is fun exactly once
>as is the low orbit drop afterwards

>I am no longer allowed to feed the dragon our explosives sherpa

>The forgotten age was forgotten for a reason. Character's alignment will move more towards evil every time they bring it up.

>I am no longer allowed to assign my characters the middle name of "Danger"

>I am no longer allowed to roll Halflings, Gnomes, Kender or any other races under a median height of 5".

>I am no longer allowed to have a character's backstory relating to or revolving around Potatoes, Yams, Sweet Potatoes or any other starchy subterranean tuber

>I am no longer allowed to refer to my fellow players' dice as "Barbiehedrons" no matter how sparkly and/or pink they may be.

>Whilst at the table I am no longer allowed to burst into any song that could be described as a "shanty"

>I am no longer allowed to stare at the DM's tits, it makes him uncomfortable

>When confronted with skeletal creatures I am no longer allowed to use the word "bone" in any sort of entendre other than the singular

>I am no longer allowed to order pizza "In Character"

>There is no such alignment as "Lawful Horny"

>I am no longer allowed to say the name Candlejack becau

>>15728495
>I am no longer allowed to stare at the DM's tits, it makes him uncomfortable

>Dynamic Entry is acceptable
>Dynamic Entry that causes more than a years wage worth of damage is not acceptable
>Dynamic Entry with any vehicle is not acceptable
>Plants are now considered vehicles.

No longer allowed to optimize Bardic Knowledge. Who would've guessed that being nearly omniscient could be so fun?

i have never laughed so hard and have been so sad at the wasted ingenuity that we have

some of these ideas can be used for great deeds irl

>>15728711
>/tg/ gloats that it breaks campaigns with chalk
>/tg/ on average can't get dates or make real money
We don't have ingenuity, we have easily frustrated GMs who just take it.

>I am not allowed to play a Factotum.

>I am not allowed to play a Dread Necromancer.

>I am not allowed to even look at 3.0 books, let alone ask if I can use something from them.

>I am no longer allowed to use Presdigitation.

>I am no longer allowed Portable Rings of Gate. Mostly because I am no longer allowed to slice the BBEG's castle in half.

>No you cannot start the game with 500 shurikens. Precisely because I have no idea what you're going to do with them.

>I am not allowed to buy anything costing less than 5sp.

>No longer allowed to ask random NPCs if they want to see what I buried underneath my house.

>I am no longer allowed to land the ship with my feet, no matter how high my dexterity is
>I am no longer allowed to attempt to steer the ship with my feet, no matter how high my dexterity is
>I am no longer allowed to make any sort of foot-related dexterity roll aside from combat dodging.
>I am no longer allowed to construct a "Ship Flag" out of the captain's boxers
>I am no longer allowed to find the Captain's pornography and use it to blackmail him for extra pay
>I am no longer allowed in the Captain's Bunk
>I am no longer allowed to attempt diplomacy rolls with the ship's rat infestation, let alone succeed in the attempt.
>I am also no longer allowed to cook with said rats, as ingredients or as assistants
>I am no longer allowed in the ship's galley
>I am no longer allowed to throw my gun at the enemy's head when it's out of bullets
>I am no longer allowed to attempt a long-range shot with my pistol by aiming upwards in an attempt to get the bullet to arc into the enemy's back

No longer allowed to buy any amount of canvas, for any reason.
No longer allowed to show how a wax coating will negate most acids.
No longer allowed to fireproof anything.
No longer to apply real life to the game in general.
Roll play only.
>okay :c

> I am no longer allowed to visit female prisoners while armed.

>Even if the GM is being a railroading dick, I am not allowed to start my own ingame DnD game in spite.

>Hot, Latin, Passionate, Sexy, Rodrigo, Fernando, Man-whore, etc are not to appear on a character sheet description. Again.

>>15728126
We were playing 4e. Druids can't fly in 4e, unless I miss my mark.

Also, I readily admit that I was abusing my wildshape. I spent the first 5 sessions morphing into part-bear animals during combat. Beartaurs were where he drew the line (he allowed me to substitute with a bearclops).

>>15727883
>SHIIIING thu-thunk is not a meme.
Of course not. It is a way of life!

>>15727868
>>15727919
So you are basicly not allowed to shift for ANY non-combat purposes? Sounds shitty.

>>15726305
>I am no longer allowed to have paper in my possession

>I am no longer allowed to use other players' paper

>I am no longer allowed to play as a mage

>I am no longer allowed to play any divine and/or magical class

>nor am I allowed to play a psionic class

Half this shit looks like metagaming nonsense or shit started by THAT GUY.

>>15729079
Nah. I wildshaped into a horse to help one of our people catch up with a noble, and I was a packmule when we later had to transport said noble's rotting corpse (totally not our fault, I swear).

I'm just not allowed to avoid plot-bearing puzzles, or break plot-bearing devices, etc.

>You cannot buy laxative. Stop asking.

>Booby trapping the door is being paranoid. Booby trapping the desert is just being a dick.

>>15729151

Boy do I have the melee class for you!

I am no longer allowed to break the game by bluffing my way out of everything. Not only does my character have an extremely high bluff skill but I am studying law, so when we roleplay I can argue my way out of anything.

I am no longer allowed to do the following in this order:
> Make a skill monkey
> Train a monkey in skills for me
> Use thunder stones
> Use explosive runes
> Use scythes
> Use Black Lotus Extract
> Play a caster
> Play A hulking Hurler
> Play as a Player
> Make artifacts. Ever.

>Orgy is not the go-to spell for everything.
>Nor is Orgasm
>No, having a Spirit of Man sustain Orgy is not allowed
>No, having MULTIPLE Spirits of Man sustain Orgasm is not allowed
>Quickening is also a rightout
>No, you cannot set the moon on fire, even if the vague wording for Ignite allows it. There is no Oxygen on the Moon.
>Circumventing this rule with creative use of Create["Air"] with hundreds of Awakened and Spirits is allowed.
>Dwarves are not descended from plants.

>I am no longer allowed to use anything that may instantly cause criticals I.E. Divine Oracle
I actually agree with the DM at this point. In the sessions I've used it, I got us to bypass 4 'unwinnable' fights, 2 bosses and destroy the macguffin.

I am Not
> Allowed to participate in or conduct a kobold laundering scheme
> Allowed to devalue currency
> Allowed within 500 yards of a treasury
> Allowed to choose any form of payment other than treasure/gold
> Allowed to simplify things by making a magical book that replicates itself and is filled with commercial listings for adventurers.
> Allowed to make household goods such as soap, cooking pottery, clothing nor am I allowed to sell said items after teaching party members how to make them.
----- These three where together-----
> Allowed to go to city council meetings and propose laws that even vaguely sound like get rich quick schemes.
> Allowed to make arenas and or stadiums.
> Allowed to capture kobolds for purpose of gladiatorial games even if it is perfectly legal.

>I am no longer allowed to use the Book of Erotic Fantasy.
>I am no longer allowed to use Nymphology.
>Even if the DM DOES provide the party with magical sex toys as treasure, including a magic strap-on, my angry lesbian catgirl is not allowed to use them. ESPECIALLY not on party members.
>My cat hengeyokai speaks neither Engrish nor Lolspeak.
>I am no longer allowed anywhere near a captive's penis with a knife.
>I am not allowed anywhere near squishy NPCs while PMSing.
>As a DM, I am not allowed to use kobolds. Especially if they've been given time to prepare.
>I am most DEFINITELY not allowed to ask /tg/ to help me come up with traps.
>Just because the angel bought me dinner does NOT mean he wants to sleep with me.

I instead have a little notepad document in my files that has every item my characters cannot ever use.

A little exerpt:

High Exploves
Street Sweapers
Combines
Lawn Mowers
Fighter Jets
Parachutes
Pairs of shoes
Parakeets
Low Explosives
Calzones

And it keeps going.

>i am no longer allowed to buy null magic clothing while being a grapple mage

>>15729630
>Calzones
please elaborate

>>15727032

Those players suck, throw them out.

Just a few
>Bags of Holding no longer dump all content immediately when turned inside out.

>I am no longer allowed to be willingly swallowed whole.

>I am no longer allowed to roleplay as The Doctor.

>I am no longer allowed to stay behind when the rest of the party leaves. The other PCs stated returning a day later with the city under new leadership was the last straw.

>I cannot use handle animal on creatures less than tiny in size
>"My rogue has extreme paranoia and is sure outside forces are trying to control him and his actions" is not a suitable excuse for metagaming.
>Centaurs do not have 'cutie marks'

>I am no longer allowed to play a goliath monk
>I am no longer allowed anything of 'spider climb'
>I am not allowed to calculate the acceleration of my jump check.

I made a goliath grapple monk and noticed the rule about moving a grapple. So, I took it up the wall and onto the celing, as long as I maintained 2 points of contact, I was fine.

Then I performed a suplex.

Not from the ceiling onto the ceiling; but from the ceiling to the ground. I calculated my possible acceleration from my jump check to increase the fall damage. The checks were hard as hell but I managed to leap from the ceiling into the floor with our villain taking the full impact. Two fist fulls of dice later we had one seriously pissed of rakshasa.

>Lighting my farts is not a template attack

>D&D is not used to run 'slice of life' campaigns

>Popcorn kernals can not be purchased in excess of 3 pounds

>I am no longer allowed to team up with the sorcerer and use a combination of time stop, delayed mass fireball (targeted at reactor), and dimensional door to perform one of the greatest smash and grabs of all time.

It was glorious. Over 50 reams of research notes, 80,000 GP in assorted precious gems and gold/platinum, and over 300 slaves freed, not to mention the hundreds of evil soldiers that died.

All of that in less than twenty minutes on a compound with a map that was literally 2 fully detailed sheets of graph paper.

>I am not allowed to convince the party that we should derail the campaign on the first day by using our combined gold to purchase a pancake cart and then make a killing in the roadside cart-food business.

The rules:
>1 - I may only play characetrs of a LG, NG, CG, NN, or LE alignment.

>2 - All starting items must be run by the DM to see if I can buy them.

>3 - I am not allowed to abuse age category rules.

>4 - I am not allowed to play variants of base classes.

>5 - I am not allowed take Vow of Poverty.

>6 - I am not allowed to take Leadership.

>7 - I am not allowed to be in charge of the group's hirelings.

>8 - I am not allowed to have Favored Enemy.

>9 - I am not allowed to play as the Wizard's familiar.

>10 - I am not allowed to make up my own Gods, no matter hwo much the DM likes them.

>I am no longer allowed to play a character with Broker=8 and any character with Broker or Trader greater than 3 will autoretire from adventuring to get a real job

>mwf people still think Vow of Poverty is even remotely good at any level above 5 after Magic Item Compendium was released.

>> I will no longer be awarded any stunt dice for any action using the word "backflip" more than three times.

>> If I spare the BBEG's minions, it must be because of mercy or the desire to make them face justice, not because I intend to take over the organization intact.

>> When the DM has a BBEG take my family hostage, I am not allowed to take the family of the GMPC hostage... even if they are members of the same organization.

>If the BBEG does something evil, it is not required that I out do them.

>I am no longer allowed in space

It started in a Dark Heresy game when I had my Cleric blow out the exit of an escape pod.
We had a Farseer with us because we focused more on escaping than dealing with Xenos scum.
The Farseer said something along the lines of the Emperor not being able to help us now.
I retaliated with the vacuum of space and a chainsword.

Then, in a Star Wars game, we ended up loosing an astromech droid due to poor rolls on by the GM.
Later, the same ship ended up hijacked by our Mandalorian crew member to assist a Mandalorian war party (which a PC had joined).
Being a smuggler, I fought to get the ship back, only to end up knocked out several time and ruining parts of the ship in my various attempts to regain control.

Things are better now, but I still joke that I could try using vacuum of space as a weapon.

>If the explanation for the reason I preform an action takes longer than 2 minutes, I don't get to do it.

>I am no longer allowed to grab an enemy's ass from behind a cracked door and use ghost sound to make him think he's gay.

I am no longer allowed to look for evidence alone, after I mistook an Eldar Cryptex for a fleshlight, and burnt down a house trying to remove evidence against my employer

I am no longer allowed to smuggle Cyclonic Torpedoes...

On account on that space station that -accidentally- exploded. Violently.

>>15730240

>If one of our characters in the party is a confirmed bibliophile, I am not allowed to make the verbal component for all my scrolls "May the Destruction of This Knowledge Save us All!"

>>15730266
Hey you cut that out mister. I'm in enough trouble as is...
>Shifty eyes.

I'm just gonna... Leave... You didn't see anything.

> Not allowed to curb stomp zombies after they "die"

> Not allowed curb stomp any undead or occult creatures after they "die"

> Not allowed to curb stomp PC's after they've been in contact with zombies and have "died"

> Not allowed to preform any offensive action towards dead bodies

> Not allowed to preform offensive actions unless the DM says I can

>>15730281
>survailance photo 2... loaded

>>15730290
Well that's just mean. Why the fuck can't you make sure zombies are dead? Your DM is a douchebag.

Any plan that results with me as head of the assassins guild while playing a bard must be stopped by the party.

I cannot become the new BBEG after using my control of the assassins guild to kill the original and take his place.

>>15729577
You are just the worst kind of person.

>I'm not allowed to open a Hooters in Waterdeep
>I'm not allowed to use a mirror of recollection to make porn
>I'm not allowed to polymorph my familiar into ANYTHING

>I'm not allowed to invent anything
>That includes attaching two items together

ITT: that guys with shitty DMs

> I am no longer allowed to have any of my WW characters contract aids
> I am no longer allowed to turn npc's into sentient ink for stat boosting tattoos
> I am no longer allowed to play dimension hopping Nazi mage/scientists in any setting (DM was the only one who did not appreciate the Kender purges)
>I am no longer allowed to play explorator (not my fault random generation had my starting character with unnatural str 3 70 str and a power fist)
> I am no longer allowed to play Bronan the Brobarian, my monk who deals all his dmg through fist bumps.

>i am no longer allowed to convince the DM to let me use a shark as an out of water animal companion for my druid (like in that dr who episode) then take mounted combat.

rolled 34, 67, 22, 82, 91, 93 = 389

> I am no longer allowed to dig holes of any kind.
> I am no longer allowed underground.
> Should an adventure take us underground I must stay in the town.

>I am not allowed to defeat the BBEG through arbitation

>I am not allowed to any weapon that can one-shot the BBEG, non-lethal or otherwise

>I am not allowed to cause half the Sabbat on the eastern seaboard to frenzy all at once.

That last one was fun. Basically killed a V:TM meta-campaign that way.

>My druid is no longer allowed to be a bear riding a bear while summoning bears.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15730767

YOU. STORYTIME. NOW.

>I will not out "That Guy" the "That Guy" to scare him off
>I may no longer choose the seductress as my mentor spirit
>Any character featuring the flaw Addiction: Chronic masturbation will have their sheet incinerated.

>>15730811
>Beta
>let someone tell you what you can/cannot do
Hmm.. Surely they are all "beta" for not ignoring the guy who has the job to tell you what can and can't happen. They sould be standing up and doing it anyway!

Go back to /v/ or /b/ or whatever faggotry ridden board you come from originally

>I am no longer allowed to make a Soldier/Gunslinger with sonic and devastator pistols in Sagas that allows me kill somebody by virtue of throwing them down the condition track over 6 steps in one turn, regardless of the Sith Lord BBEG's Deflect and other defenses.

>Not allowed to manufacture bombs with caltrops and medieval explosive materials

>Not allowed to manufacture bombs with dynamite

>Not allowed to manufacture bombs of any kind

>Not allowed to stockpile grenades, alchemist's fire or volatile chemicals

>Not allowed to put it all in the same burlap sack, either

>Not allowed to convince a minor villain to work for us

>Not allowed to convince a ANY villain to work for us

>Not allowed to invent bombs

>Not allowed to invent guns

>Not allowed to invent cannons

>Not allowed to invent hovercraft, magical or otherwise

>Not allowed to invent things that would change the paradigm of the game

>Not allowed to invent anything that would make DMing unecessarily difficult

>Not allowed to invent AT ALL

>Not allowed to show the DM my calculations/blueprints/research

>Not allowed to make physics calculations on the fly, either

>Not allowed to cite the Punic Wars in my tactics

>Not allowed to cite any famous wars in my tactics

>Not allowed to cite ANY military engagement ever

>Not allowed to use RIFTS to play Dr. Who

>Not allowed to use RIFTS to play Captain Jack Harkness, either

>Not allowed to make ANY character that horny

>Not allowed to make a character with horns, following the establishment of the previous rule

>Not allowed to be an "brimming with mischief"

>Not allowed to be an "incredibly devious bastard"

>Not allowed to be involve a notary in the game

>Not allowed to be involve a notarized documents of any kind

The list goes on...

I have a love of lateral thinking, but it frustrates my DM, bless his heart. DMing is hard work.

>I may not max out diplomacy, bluff and forgery to kill the BBEG with his own army.
>I don't care how high you bluff is "Whatever he paying you I'll double it" wont deter the assassin.

>i am no longer allowed to play dwarfs

>nor am i allowed to play bards

>i am also no longer allowed to be True Neutral

>Furthermore, i am no longer allowed to shift to ANY form of evil mid-campaign for ANY REASON, regardless of weather it would make sense for my character...

>>15730906
I have fond memories of abusing the condition track.

>I am no longer allowed to play a Succubus Bard with Leadership.
>Dat 42 Diplomacy
>Dat insane Leadership score
>Those 12,000 followers

>I am no longer allowed to cast Mine Rape.

>>15731050

Same character...

>Improved Crit
>Extra Bardic Music for all remaining feat slots
>Bow of Songs
>Forever banned

>>15731074
>mine rape
dwarves must hate you

>I am not allowed to play D&D with my group anymore because I'm that guy

>I am no longer allowed to run a platinum counterfeiting scheme.

>I am no longer allowed to roll a wizard.
>I am no longer allowed to hold my henchm...fellow >party members under written contract.
>I am no longer allowed to start guilds.
>I am no longer allowed to start mining operations powered only by undead.
>I am no longer allowed to buy every inn we stop at.
>I am doubly forbidden from jacking up the prices whenever my party is in the area.
>I am no longer allowed to kidnap the leader of our city
>I am no longer allowed to rent out the party's equipment
>I am no longer allowed to build magical clone army in the basement

>>15731138
Larry???

> I am no longer allowed to play my MTG cards as spells in our D&D sessions. Especially when you can go infinite.

>>15731148
nope.

>>15731153
I tried making a mtg spellcaster class...
yea it didn't go well.
Infinite myr... myr, myr everywhere!

>Not allowed to inspire the guy with the music player to play the Saw theme
>Even if the villain has been fairly rendered unconscious, stripped, searched, and ensured of the inability to kill himself
>Especially if I tricked the DM into allowing me the appropriate skills to make it happen
>The guy with the music player is forbidden from taking bribes
>Not allowed to use the aforementioned appropriate skills to create a device that will remove my character's arm should someone threaten to remove it if I don't complete a task
>It doesn't mean I beat them to the punch
>It doesn't mean I have a disarming personality either
>It most certainly doesn't mean I have the upper hand
>Puns are forbidden
>Puns are not like steak, even if they are a rare medium well-done
>Addendum to the first rule: Not allowed to inspire the guy with the music player to play Libera Me From Hell when your character dies in an admittedly awesome way

>I am no longer allowed to use the wizard's electricity-based spells to create aluminum equipment and sell it as mithril.
>The same goes for titanium replacing adamantite
>No longer allowed to substitute real-life minerals for similar fantasy counterparts at all
>No longer allowed to combine magic and skeletal remains for the purpose of making fossil fuel
>No longer allowed to craft a ballista arrow whose tip is comprised of a rolled-up portable whole that gets pushed into a bag of holding on impact
>No longer allowed to enlarge a blade and sharpen it to the point that it would be effectively monomolecular when shrunk back down
>No longer allowed to create portals to the bottom of a lake, the bottom of the sea, or the elemental plane of water in order to flood a dungeon.
>The same goes for magma forges/volcanoes/EPoFire
>No longer allowed to use Stone to Flesh+Animate Dead to effectively turn a dungeon into the pit of sarlaac
>When playing a warlord, my inspiring word cannot be "Don't believe in yourself! Believe in me who believes in you!"
>My character cannot wield, will not discover, and is in no way knowledgeable of drills.
>Abusing magic in order to create mechas the size of the universe is right out.

>metamagic feats, not metagaming feats
>Throwing a stick and shouting "fetch"! is not the best way to to identify a werewolf
>I am not allowed to play sorceror, bard, rogue, paladin, alchemical or malkavian.
>Especially alchemical

>I am no longer allowed to talk my way out of fighting the BBEG when my tech priest has -2 fellowship.

>>15731840
Dat pic
Mah brain
Wut?

>I am no longer allowed to make potions in a game or offer any food to the new guys.

I am no longer allowed to start my transport ships hyperdrive while inside the BBEG's star destroyer's hanger and yelling "ACTIVATE RAMMING SPEED!"

This thread is great, it should be archived as a guide to all those who come after us.

>I will no longer be allowed to play female characters
>I will no longer be allowed to have 6 shots a turn
>I am not allowed to seduce Blackbeard

>I am no longer allowed to let my Vulpix near any joltiks

>I am no longer allowed to employ slimes to torture female captives.

>I am no longer allowed to employ furries to harass male captives.

>I am still allowed to chainsaw the fat off of obese prisoners.

>I am not allowed to fall for the old 'succubus pheromones' trick. Souls are hard to come by, and more so to replace.

>I am not allowed to be seduced by assassins sent to kill me.

>I am not allowed to seduce assassins sent to kill me.

>I am not allowed to have an army of twelve year old little girls as my own personal Inquisition.

>I will not teach twelve year old little girls how to torture, maim, and disect someone while they are still alive.

>I will eventually retire as this so called 'BBEG', and spend the rest of my days riding the back of a giant sea turtle.

>I am not allowed to insult Elves in the middle of their home city, and punch a random Elven citizen.

In Iron Kingdoms we entered a Elf city. I flipped a shit, punched out a random guy on the street, and called all of them Elfginas and they should all die. Every. Insult. Imaginable. Was spout that day.

>>15734721
It could only have ended well if you ended up sleeping with an Elf Male. Then you wake up and fucking realize that the bitch you slept with had a cock.

I am no longer allowed to use flour as an explosive.

>>15734740

I was punished for it. They locked me up in the stocks and sent a really, really obsese Elf woman to come and rub her ass in my face for a few hours.

Nope.

>I am no longer allowed to play as a Guardsman on Dark Heresy.

>I am no longer allowed to attempt to calm Machine Spirits in Dark Heresy.

>I am no longer allowed to pilot vehicles of any nature, including Baneblades, Leman Russ, Titans, AA batteries, and Mekz.

>I am no longer allowed to kill the Psyker when (s)he summons forth a Daemon.

>I am no longer allowed to egg on the Psyker to summon forth a Daemon.

>I am no longer allowed to play as a Lamenter in Deathwatch.

>I am no longer allowed to be the Alpha Legion cell agent in Deathwatch.

>I am no longer allowed to incite a planet-wide rebellion against a planetary governor with whom I have had a few political bouts with in Deathwatch.

>I am no longer allowed to play Rogue Trader.

>>I am no longer allowed to dual wield Runefangs as a Swordmaster of Hoeth in WFRP 2nd ed.

No longer allowed to play any character with a Fel snd Int higher than 30... due to the Scintilla Daemonworld Incident...

>I am no longer allowed to play an Imperial Psyker with a staff, the Templar Calix alt-route, and no longer may I be a living weapon sorcerer

Fallout RPG
>I'm no longer able to tag or max out the skills Science, Explosives, or Stealth
>I'm no longer allowed to build combats bots that cause a nuclear explosion on death.
>I'm no longer allowed to run genetic experiments to create a CazaClaw.
>I can no longer make the CazaClaw explode on death.
>I can no longer sneak bombs onto every person I come across and detonate it when i leave town.

>>15734778

... Are you sure that was a punishment?

>As rogue trader, I am no longer allowed to drop a captured void ship on a hive spire, even if both are filled with people that want me dead.

>I am no longer allowed to put about 1000d6 of holy water into a dust of dryness when the BBEG is a lich.

http://www.chanarchive.org/4chan/tg/16203/it-s-about-time-for-a-things-i-am-no-longer-allowed-to-do-
thread-i-am-no-longer-allowed-to-combine-ev

>I may no longer open portals to any elemental plane
>I may no longer use fire magic
>I may no longer carry flint and tinder
>It doesn't matter how high I roll on the bluff check the guild master knows it's not my first day

>>15731840
>>15733050

Note that now that we DO have aluminum, we still don't use it as armor (say, for ships or tanks), because it can catch on fire under modern gun impact.

>>15735683
>modern gun impact

You're doing it wrong if you're hitting them with guns instead of shooting.

I am not allowed to bring up the Space Wolves, the thousand sons during the horus heresy, or anything relating to runes or priests thereof... unless I'm singing.

However if someone else begins the topic I may speak on it, which means that everyone else is also typically forbidden from mentioning those things either.

>>15735978
Not if you're fighting someone in aluminum armor.

It just bursts into flames, man.

>You are no longer allowed to teleport explosives on teleporter. All the teleports in the sci fi universe suddenly stops working with live bombs or ridiculous amounts of explosives

>Any mention of faecal matter as a weapon is banned, end of discussion.

> I am no longer allowed to use my knowledge of astrophysics to turn Imperial frigates into antiplanetary missiles.
>I am no longer allowed to fire a Vulcan Mega-Bolter at anything, ever again.
>Just because I can carry a Hurricane-pattern bolter, does not mean I should.
>I am no longer allowed to use a multi-melta, ever again, at all.
>If you wreck the GM's climatic fight by simply jumping out of the Thunderhawk and onto the enemy in Terminator Armor, the GM has the right to be annoyed.

I am no longer allowed to play the following PrCs: Master of Many Forms, Shadowcraft mage, Incantatrix and Tainted Scholar (I haven't actually played any of these, but i've used them in builds that i asked my DM if i could play. He said no)

I am no longer allowed to search for work in brothels to pass the time

I am no longer allowed to play female characters, at all.

I am no longer allowed to summon Demon Princes and force the entire party on a wild goose chase for magical eggs.

I am most certainly not allowed to play a necromancer.

First it was...

>If there is any chance I will get my greedy claws on immunity to electricity, water no longer conducts electricity.

Then it became...

>If there is any chance I will get my gauntlets on any spell that deals with lightning, water no longer conducts electricity.

We're at the point now where lightning is no longer a naturally occurring phenomenon, copper rods of a length over two feet are banned in every civilized kingdom, and possession of a decanter of endless water is often met with divine retribution.

On the flip side:

Our Alchemist+Ranger+Necromancer group is still allowed the hunt wild game, stuff their carcasses with explosive substances, reanimate them, turn them invisible and have them charge our enemies for great justice.

>I am no longer allowed to use the spell "command undead, especially not if i use it to turn the final fight with the BBEG into a total farce.

>>15736189
>>15736189
>>15736189

Pure water is a poor conductor unless it's got impurities. DM could just say the water is too pure to conduct

>>15735683
Well yeah, but thinking about Aluminum as the Mythril of yore is pretty cool.

I wouldn't use it today as armor of any kind. Arrows =/= Bullets, Swords =/= Explosives.

>>15738074
Rhodium is modern mithril.

>>15736300
then he'll just buy bags of salt.
and I'm pretty sure any water that lands on any naturally occurring surface in the world is going to be impure enough to conduct.

>>15738099
you do know that there are rivers, lakes, and groundwater that are all fresh and don't conduct for shit, right

>I am no longer allowed to have abilities that allow me to change my appearance at will.
>I am no longer allowed to have powers that manipulate the memories of others.
>I am no longer allowed to bring trucks to knife fights.
>I am no longer allowed to drive construction vehicles through mage circles.
>I am no longer allowed to use mental manipulation to send airplanes into other people's havens.
>I am no longer allowed the drive or pilot skills.
>I am no longer allowed anything that grants me more actions per turn then the BBEG.
>I am no longer allowed any specialty ammunition.
>I am no longer allowed to use real world larceny knowledge to get bonuses on rolls.
>Even if I demonstrate that knowledge to the DM.
>ESPECIALLY if I demonstrate that knowledge on the DM.
>I am no longer allowed to break things unless I can pay for them.
>I am no longer allowed to break things unless I can replace them right now.
>I am no longer allowed to break things at all.
>I am no longer allowed to make my own magic items.
>Even if they come from the DMG.
>I am no longer allowed any class with item crafting feats.
>Having a low INT score does not mean my character is too dumb to remain the same alignment.
>Having a high INT score does not mean my character is too canny to remain allies with the PCs.
>I am no longer allowed to use compels that involve incendiary keywords.
>I am no longer allowed to use fate points during a scene before the description has been given.
>I am no longer allowed to simply assume that there is live current in those wires.
>I am no longer allowed to assume there's current anywhere in the building.
>I am no longer allowed to carry building trade references in character.
>I am no longer allowed to weaponize critters.
>I am no longer allowed pips in animal ken.
>I am no longer allowed dots in animalism.
>Zoology is not a knowledge skill.
>Or a weapon skill.

>I am no longer allowed to have more interest in terrain than the DM
>I am no longer allowed to summon Walls
>I am no longer allowed to teleport party members around the battlefield
>I am no longer allowed to make party members so ungodly fast that they're basically teleporting around the battlefield
>I am no longer allowed to know about echolocation
>I am no longer allowed to walk off the battlefield after casting 1 spell
>That spell better not end the battle
>I am no longer allowed to use Control Winds to knock a BBEG off his flying mount
>I am no longer allowed to weaponize snow
>I am no longer allowed to play a Kobold
>I am no longer allowed to play a Dragonwrought Kobold (with no age modifiers one way or another)
>I am no longer allowed to drown the battlefield in sand
>I am no longer allowed to puke up 100cu. feet of sand in 1 round
>I am no longer allowed to teleport into the Tarrasque's mouth
>I am no longer allowed to affect visibility in any way
>Dire Bats no longer exist

>>15740005
>fucking with the terrain
I think I like you. Tell me your secrets.

>>15740109

Secret 1) There is no spell that causes a hole to appear. If there is, it's very well hidden.

Secret 2) Difficult Terrain + Allowing Allies to ignore that = win. Kiting enemies is E-Z-Mode when they're moving 15ft/round

>I am no longer allowed to incorporate.
>I am no longer allowed to introduce economics in a dark ages setting.
>I am not a Borgia.
>I am not a Hapsburg.
>I am not allowed to do more research on a historical setting then the DM.
>I am not descended from Ghengis Khan (no matter how likely that might actually be).
>I am not allowed to perform rituals with blood as a component.
>I not allowed to use bone or skin, either.
>I am not allowed to use anything that came from a living creature at any time.
>Fossils count.
>No longer allowed to perform anything that resembles necromancy at all.
>If the idea came from a video game, I am not allowed to do it.
>If the idea came from a movie, I am not allowed to do it.
>If the idea came from television, I am not allowed to do it.
>If the idea came from a book, I am not allowed to do it.
>I am not allowed to abuse real world physics to do horrible things in setting.
>I am not allowed to abuse in-setting physics to produce nonsensical results.
>Physics is allowed to start wailing on me if I do anything else to it.
>Genre blindness is not a disability.
>I cannot pass from room to room using the fourth wall, even if the DM didn't remember to add one on the side the players are facing.
>Bill Brasky is not an animal companion.
>Scotch is not a spell component.
>I am not allowed to mix potions for the party anymore if I am also making poisons for the rogue.
>I am not allowed to mix anything for the party.
>I am not allowed to mix the party.
>I am not allowed to alchemize anything with an octane rating.
>I am not allowed to sell my soul to an outsider.
>I am not allowed to timeshare it either.
>I am not allowed to double mortgage my soul.
>I am not allowed to question the mechanics of the Infernal Stock Exchange, or how they keep track of that.

>I am no longer allowed to buy lamp oil

>I am no longer allowed to solve the current party's problem by starting a fire.

>I am not allowed to abuse something that specifically disallows the duplication of living matter by killing something in such a way that I can resuscitate it shortly thereafter.
>I am not allowed purchase the gift "reshape object."
>I am not allowed to purchase "spirit of the bird."
>I am not allowed to purchase any gift that provides me with an extra dimension in combat.
>Doors are there to be used, even if I can walk through walls without making a roll.
>The walls are all made out of reinforced titanium.
>The garage door is made out of reinforced titanium.
>The canoe is reinforced titanium.
>I am not allowed to purchase a gift that provides me with an absurd amount of damage when attacking metal or stone.
>I am not allowed to use the titanium canoe as a bludgeon.
>Chimestry does not explain everything.
>I am not allowed to play anything with Chimestry.
>I am not allowed to play anything with spheres.
>I am not allowed to steal rites that provide me with true magic.
>I am not allowed to wear a cape while flying.
>I am not allowed to claim that wearing a cape while flying protects the veil.

>No matter what steps I take to forewarn my DM of the abilities I will have, whenever I use them it will be B.S. and I will have been a horrible power-gamer for using said power from the character sheet I sent him in advance

FeelsBadMan.jpg

> No longer allowed to cast "Goblin Grenade" as a level one spell.

>I am no longer allowed to grapple anything that can fly or telaport
>I am no longer allowed to offer our assistance to weird farmers in the middle of nowhere

>Imitating animal noises to try and communicate with anthromorphic races is in poor taste

> Using create water to water board a criminal is in bad taste

>I am no longer allowed to make Warforges into Transformers.

>I am no longer allowed to make rouges untouchable with Use Magic Device.

>I am no longer allowed to min-max spellcasters.

though I did have fun in each of those campaigns in which I was told I'm not allowed to do that stuff anymore :3c

>I am not allowed to purchase any gift that provides me with an extra dimension in combat.

Wait, what?

>>15740486

Most combat rules are designed around two dimensions with modifiers for terrain. Any ability that grants flight, rapid elevation changes in either direction or insubstantiality for passes through barriers like walls or ceilings.

Basically lets you move in up-down in addition to left-right or back-forwards. Depending on how quick your DM is or how robust the rules are you may have just turned yourself into a nightmare or completely trivialized parts of the ruleset.

>>15740591

Instead of using the oWoD example, imagine in 4th edition D&D that you had a character that in addition to the normal modes of travel also had to keep track of how many squares they were above the terrain as well as what bonus (for elevated terrain) that might provide them. They can ignore most terrain penalties and be completely out of reach depending on what they're fighting.

>>15740591
>>15740624
Oh, my first thought was not that kind of dimension.

>no longer able to loot bodies
>no longer able to use slings on melee classes
I simply had to make do when its 9v2

>>15740667

Ah well, if it's oWoD then the Umbra probably counts as an extra dimension too.

> I am no longer allowed to pat the hellhound the evil cultists just summoned while wearing fireproof armor.

> I am no longer allowed to befriend said hellhound.

> I am no longer allowed to purchase a fireproof saddle and ride said hellhound (it's a houseruled hellhound and is a large sized creature) into combat.

>I am no longer allowed to check the internet to find out what Batman did in this situation.

>I am no longer allowed to trick the GM into allowing me to partial polymorph into a chimera, allowing me to fit into any situation
>I am no longer allowed to stuff the BBEG into a bag of holding and then shoot an arrow at it from a safe distance.
>I am no longer allowed to play anything on the evil side of the spectrum.
>I am no longer allowed to play anything on the chaotic end of the spectrum.
>I am no longer allowed to play a Neutral Neutral character.

>>15743261

...your DM is a monster.

>I am no longer allowed to polymorph the BBEG into a watermelon, fuck the watermelon, and then smash it.