rolled 59 = 59

Continue eating bananas on the bridge and wait for something to happen. If something does happen, let Ali take care of it and continue eating bananas.

rolled 15 = 15

I rather fancy a spot of sport hunting mutants in the underdecks.

rolled 37 = 37

Apart from Ali and whatshisface the techpriest, what are the other crew members? Arch-militant, missionary, navigator, astropath? Any void masters?

>>15694709
The crew of the Panoply has a standard complement of guards and combat servitors, led by Sgt Kormus, formerly of the Imperial Guard, Vostok 244th.
Magos Barlesson, as mentioned last night, is chief of mechanics on board, when he can be bothered to leave the galley.
You met your navigator once when you first took command of the vessel, and you're sure you must have seen the old freak outside his operations office at some point since.
You acquired a small, rudimentary astropathic choir recently, conducted by a psyker named Lennis. They tend to stay out of sight so as not to worry the crew.

>>15694697
Mutants? On the Panoply? Ridiculous! That old priest Hackett has made sure to stomp out any mutants or heretics on your vessel.

Sorry we're moving so slowly, but we're not getting much in the way of constructive responses right now.

rolled 30 = 30

Are there any Tech Priests on board? Seeing as we do secret intelligence stuff for them, I'd assume there are.

See if they can make our plasma lance better.

Have it be less likely to overheat and able to fire more often, but as a trade off have it be less powerful.

If they can't do that, whatever.

rolled 45 = 45

Ali, where were we bound again? I rather forgot. You know I can't stand warp transitioning sober, and this time I really was completely hammered. So, what was it?

rolled 48 = 48

Hmm. I wonder what's in... *point in random direction* THAT DIRECTION!

Ali, plot a course for THAT WAY!

ADVENTURE!!!!

rolled 58 = 58

Where are we in space, currently?

See if some of our men have their ears to the ground on any old legends of treasure and such. Maybe a Lost Planet.

rolled 68 = 68

Alright, so we're a Rogue Trader. That means we need to make money and get bitches. So let's do that. I think the best way to do that is by finding an uncharted system and taking everything in it that's not nailed down. I'll assume we're near the border of charted space, right? See if we can't plot a course for the star most likely to be able to sustain life. After all, during the DAoT, lots of systems were colonized, so our chances are really good.

>>15694882
The Boltgun is already a legendary weapon, capable of crippling cruisers and demolishing smaller ships with only a single well-targeted blast. Modifying such an ancient weapon would be heresy! Or so the priests of the machine god tell you.

>>15694886
Ali gives you a small smile as he patiently reminds you of your current course, carrying "cargo" from Malfi to a mining world not far from Dusk. Once there, your orders are to trade a vid entitled "Two Sibellans And A Cyber Mastiff" for an audio file which will be labelled "Bedtime Stories of the Adepta Sororitas."
Given the austere rations usually supplied on mining worlds, Ali estimates you'll also be able to turn a tidy profit on the sale of spices and bananas.

>>15694913
Ali informs you that there is legend claiming that the ring around your destination was once a moon, demolished by foul xenos while on the run from the light of the Imperium. More than a handful of treasure hunters have frozen to a solitary death among those rocks, seeking forbidden technology.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15694938
>nearest uncharted system
>sustain life

People will already have gone there. Let's go for the FARTHEST uncharted system that can sustain life. Also, have Ali go and see if he can scrounge up any news of treasure or plunder to be had nearby.

Are there any tales of ancient ships with valuable cargo lost nearby? If so, we need to go and find those.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15694943
Then with all haste, man, let us go to the mining world!

First load up the ship with as many spices and bananas as possible, then make sure they won't spoil, and then set off!

Also, see if the AdMech can't get the ship's scanners running at greater efficiency. We're gonna scan that "ring" while we offload our cargo. Who knows, we might find something.

rolled 55 = 55

Load up the Panoply with spices and bananas, at as low a rate as we can get them.

Then plot a course to that mining world.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15695015
>>15694989
Not so fast guys.

What does this mining world mine, exactly?

>>15695039
Penises.

rolled 18 = 18

>warp travel mishap table roll

>>15695057
>>15695049
SLAANESH HOUSE!

>>15695039
"Some mineral used in a particular formulation of ceramite, according to my notes here."

>>15695015
>>15694989
Your cargo bays are bursting with wares, and you're ready to make a killing on the markup.
With about a day remaining in the warp before you arrive, Barlesson leads his explorator team in the rites to prepare the scan of the ring. The holo-projector displays an undulating grid, indicating, the magos says, empty space. It will illustrate any technology or unusual mineral deposits once you arrive. Once the rituals are complete, he excuses himself, apologizing and saying he's worked up quite an appetite.

rolled 90 = 90

>>15695093
Interesting fellow. Nice enough.

Keep an eye on him, Ali.

Anywho, let's make sure all our paperwork is in order, and get ready to arrive. Also, make sure we're ready to both offload all our cargo, and load up with new cargo.

And leave space for anything cool we might find floating around the planet.

>>15695112
Wait, we're rolling 1d100s, right?

Is high good or bad?

>>15695057
You've almost made it through the warp safely when a series of red lights begin flashing above your command station. The siren is silenced quickly, but you know all too well the nightmare that brief alarm could indicate... even a momentary lapse in the Gellar field could lead to a daemonic invasion.

Ali runs a check-in with security and agents throughout the ship, and informs you that there are no signs of anything inhuman or dangerous other than Barlesson's eating habits.

You try to tell yourself that's the end of it, but your instincts insist you keep on your toes.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15695139
FIX IT BARDLESEN.
Maaan I need more brandy. I hate the warp.

rolled 41 = 41

I stay on my toes.
Slightly drunk, I tiptoe to the observatory.
There, I sit, eat a banana, and gaze at the cold, unforgiving galaxy I am destined to roam.

I do this whenever I'm scared after the Warp exit transition.

God dammit OP, come the fuck on.

We've been waiting for -hours-.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15695139
what kind of intelligence are we transporting, really? What does the AdMech have to hide?

>>15696026

(could it be technological progression?)

rolled 6 = 6

>>15696114
you mean tek heresy?

>>15696026
Secret communications between the priests of the machine god. They have long and subtle wars for the rights to knowledge, or to stick their names to a discovery. There may be darker secrets, but you're not privy to them.

>>15695716
I apologize profusely. I go narcoleptic sometimes, and on this occasion passed out at my desk.

>>15695705
The cold stars comfort you as you exit the warp and approach your destination, the world of Bilattis IV.

A well-appointed gun-cutter is prepared to bring you and your retinue down to the surface to begin negotiations. Ali remains on the bridge to command in your absence. You are accompanied by Magos Barlesson, who carries the encrypted porno vid, and Sgt Kormus, who has with him an honor guard of soldiers. You expect no trouble here, but there's no point being stupid. Plus, a nice display of uniformed guards gives a good impression to locals.

Magos Hosserman greets you on the surface, and you quickly make the trade-off. He also gives you a lockbox containing your previously agreed-upon payment in Imperial Thrones.

The main command area of the planet contains three significant areas: The worker's quarters, the management's quarters, and the work site. Each set of quarters has its own mess hall and medical dispensary. How do you wish to go about selling your wares?

rolled 17 = 17

>>15698332
go to the worker quarters and sell the food cargo to them at a reasonable price, offer to buy anything interesting they may have found in the mines, repeat the same in the management site with slightly higher prices, offering the 'selected' part of my cargo, discuss prices of the ceramics with the management and buy some to have at hand, you never know, maybe we can sell it on the way...

>>15698509
Sales of bananas and spices make you a very nice profit indeed, and you barter for some protoceraclay from the management. It's normally funneled exclusively to the manufacture of Space Marine power armor, they say, so you should be able to turn a massive profit by selling the clay on the black market.

You return to the Panoply with your new acquisitions. Ali informs you that there have been minor readings on the ring-scanner, indicating something metallic in the debris field. Father Hackett is on the bridge as well, and warns that no good will come of meddling with the handiwork of the hated xenos scum.

rolled 40 = 40

"I do not disagree father, but we will check it out just in case, after all, emperor's forbidd it falls in the wrong hands" I turn to Ali "move the ship to a safe distance then send a team to retrieve it..." I start to peel a banana "...but before sending the team, alert the Magos Berlensson and ask him if he senses anything extraordinary, after all, we can never be too carefull"

>>15694591
>Sultan
>Macarthur
>Cortez
>Porn
>Bananas.

Die.

>>15698918
The explorators return promptly, carrying with them the strange artifact, which they warn you reeks of tech-heresy. Father Hackett screeches that the work of the xenos is the work of heresy, and even your astropaths send an intra-ship communique that they sense a strange presence on board.
But they can all go fuck themselves until you determine the cash value of the device.

It's roughly rectangular, about 1.5 meters in length by .75 meters wide, and the thickness of a mattress. One end is sharply rectangular, with even-cut corners, but the far end is rough, with square nooks and crannies cut into it, some nearly half the depth of the object, others nearly microscopic, arranged seemingly at random.
The object is metallic, with indecipherable black and yellow markings covering the smooth surface.

>>15699224
Sorry, something wrong?

>>15699224
>It's hard to ignore things I don't like

poor baby

rolled 64 = 64

>>15699321
"Analize it and have a psyker with two guards at the ready for good measure, when done, store it in a sealed room, if it's useless, torpedo it with an explosive charge, hold on the warp jump until we know what that thing is though, I have a bad feeling"

I eat the banana.

{going to a dba exam, wish me luck}

rolled 42 = 42

>>15699321
Oh good, this is still up.

Try translating the cuttings on the rough end into machine code.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15699321
Maybe the cuttings can be translated? Try that.

Anyways, have teams keep looking for artifacts. Some archeotech would be -sweet-.

>>15700050
>>15700070
The tech priests raise protests when you tell them to examine it, claiming it could corrupt their translation circuits with the alien dogma.
You remind them that you have empty torpedo tubes, and explorators are not difficult to replace. They say they'll do their best to decipher the textural encoding, if that is what it is.

>>15700001
Lennis the astropath stands guard, monitoring the device for warp activity, but he declares it to be psychically inert, at least for now.

Another artifact is detected, and brought aboard. This one is cylindrical, about three meters tall and one in diameter, with scratches that resemble claw marks covering its surface. The material is the same, coloration included, and one end of the device bears the same square-cut texture as the first object.

After a few hours of research, the machine priests declare that the layout of the squares is reminiscent of the sacred tongue of Binary, but their attempts at translation have thus far been fruitless. They will continue trying, as they are now curious themselves about how xenos could know their closely guarded hidden language.

>I eat the banana

It's perfectly ripe, and you savor the sacred fruit.

rolled 91 = 91

I place the peel inside a Purginator device and look at the void in the space, then to Ali

"Perform a bioscan on the cylinder, then send it along to research, double the guards."

{now I am really off}

Afraid I'm going to have to call this thread here, sorry.

I'll be starting Part 3 at some point in the next 24 hours.

Tune in next time for more bananas and adventure.*

*Not a guarantee.