Currently you are at your throneroom aboard the Vengeful Spirit, holding a war council to discuss several important subjects. Among these are:

- bringing Chaos to the Eldar
- scouting of the local system
- what to do with ancient Terra
- planning your wedding

So far you’re still on the topic of the Eldar. Several suggestions have been thrown in already. One method could be to teach them about the warp via sorcerers and let them be seduced by it’s power, another could be to first gain their trust or impress them by managing to overwhelm a powerful threat. Yet another idea is to create a civil war amongst the Eldar, similar to the Horus Heresy.

One of the plague champions speaks up. “I think we out to create some sort of a plague.” He says “Not a psychical plague, but a mental one. One which would break apart their minds and leave them vulnerable to our influence.”

“As much as I hate the nurglite pusbags, I must admit that is a good idea.” Ahriman says. “Of course we can’t allow the minds of the Eldar to get too damaged. Ambitious and intelligent thoughts are necessary to feed Tzeentch.”

What decision do you make now, warmaster?

(rolls are 1d100 with higher being better, and any rolls of 66, 77, 88, or 99 will result in that action being chosen above all and "enhanced", as it has clearly been blessed by the Dark Gods)

Declare that you are renaming yourself "Betty."

rolled 14 = 14

That's all nice, but we REALLY should get back to killing things. To stay in shape and such.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15681059

This is a good idea. We're venturing too far into WAIFU SIMULATOR.

rolled 88 = 88

>>15681049
Try and use all ideas for plan.

>>15681058
Also rolling for this.

we conquer the galaxy
with rock

rolled 95 = 95

>>15681058

FROM NOW ON YOU WILL ALL REFER TO ME BY THE NAME "BETTY"

>>15681058
I second this.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15681065
>waifu simulator
>waifu who we quote "beat her, raped her, got her pregnant with a Lovecraftian chaos tentacle monster that she gave birth to five minutes later, got her pregnant again, and brainwashed her using warp magic"
>waifu simulator
what

>>15681067

>88
>Betty

Jump in the Planet Killer and go for a drive by. Fuck the Black Crusades, lets just go for a Black "Pissing the Imperium Off." Hit and run tactic, pick them off. In the Eye you have all the time you need, because time doesn't really exist there. Or just see if you can blow up Cadia and see what happens.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15681067
KHORNE HAS SPOKEN

rolled 93 = 93

>>15681058

Aw, hell no. Fuck that.

rolled 44 = 44

>>15681082


We haven't killed a single Imperial IN AT LEAST TWO GAMES.

Rolling to fix this, now and/or immediately.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15681049

Ask our wife where the nearest Craftworld is, get Ahriman brewing up the mindplague, and make contact with the Eldar as a whole.

If possible, we should be allowed onto the Craftword to dump the Warp Plague for maximum efficiency.

>Trying to convince himself that he's not trying to run a waifu sim

rolled 38 = 38

>>15681089
> prehistoric age
> implying the Imperium exists

>>15681067

WARMASTER BETTY!

>>15681093
Betty has an eldar waifu. Your objections have been invalidated.

rolled 30 = 30

>>15681049

Ask our wife where the nearest Craftworld is, get Ahriman brewing up the mindplague, and make contact with the Eldar as a whole.

If possible, we should be allowed onto the Craftword to dump the Warp Plague for maximum efficiency.

>>15681117
i believe this is before they were on craftworlds.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15681131

Good point, my Eldar fluff knowledge isn't the best.

At any rate, the plague needs to be like AIDS, that is, it lies in wait for several months or years before the effects really kick in.

Hell, just make it literally Warp AIDS. I bet pre-Fall Eldar fuck like rabbits, right?

>>15681150
well, according to fluff, the Eldar created the chaos god slannesh by being rediculously obsessed about things.

>>15681067
You tell the war council that you're going to try to integrate all ideas (impressing the Eldae, seducing them with warpcraft, spreading a plague, and causing a civil war) into the plan to bring about their conversion to Chaos.

You also announce that from now on, you want all members of the Crusade to refer to you as Betty.

The rest of the council just stares awkwardly for a few seconds, not sure if they heard you properly. They then share glances and begin whispering among each other, a couple chuckling.

Ahriman nods. "Very well then, Betty." You can hear a faint giggle escape him. "Now I think we should discuss the scouting of the sector." he says. "In the last few days I've taken the imitative to send several vessels to take a look around the sector. Reports indicated that this planet has only one moon and that a red planet, possibly Mars, can be spotted close by. Also, a few vessels sent to investigate areas closer to the sector's star have gone missing. I suspect Eldar interference."

rolled 27 = 27

>>15681207

WARMASTER ABADDON THE DESPOILER HAS BEEN ON THIS SHIP AND NOT KILLING THINGS FOR WAY. -WAY- TOO LONG. FIND US AN ELDAR WAYGATE OR SOMETHING TO AMBUSH.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15681097
Good point. Dead lapdogs please the dark gods.

rolled 51 = 51

>>15681207
Have fleet go to last known location of missing vessels immediately after meeting is done.

Kill anything that refuses to surrender, then turn the survivors to Chaos.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15681236

It's Betty now.

>>15681207

Get a big fleet together and all that to investigate the disappearances. Then send a single ship at the red planet.

>>15681264
THAT'S WARMASTER BETTY, DESPOILER OF WORLDS, TO YOU, SCUM

rolled 14 = 14

>>15681260
Rollan for this.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15681264
THAT'S WARMASTER ABADDON THE DESPOILER TO YOU.

>>15681281
Betty.

haven't we gone back in time far enough where there are no chaos gods?

let's try to become a GOD

rolled 63 = 63

"Hello Ezekyle..."
"Please. Call me Abaddon. Betty Abaddon."

>>15681305
>63
This won't end well.

rolled 71 = 71

>>15681300

LONG TERM PLAN DESIGNATED.

BY POSSESSION OF THE EMPEROR HIMSELF, THE GOD ABADDON HOPES TO ENSLAVE THIS GALAXY.

rolled 24 = 24

why betty? WHY

rolled 91 = 91

>>15681260
Rolling.

rolled 97 = 97

>>15681321
>THE GOD BETTY HOPES TO ENSLAVE THIS GALAXY.

fixed

rolled 98 = 98

>>15681207

Rolling to start finding and killing Eldar, so much blood and death that KHORNE HIMSELF will take notice and appear in this time.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15681207

Send bigger ships then. Really, this should be obvious.

Also, it was a joke. My name is not actually Betty.

>checks /tg/

Shit yeah, Abaddon Quest!

>Betty

WHAT.

Shit guys, we're only like forty posts into the thread, can't the stupid suggestions wait until I've had a little more to drink?

rolled 14 = 14

"Well then, let's get to it. We have minds to corrupt, necrons to awaken and destroy. WHAT ARE YOU FAGGOTS WAITING FOR?! GET TO IT."

And then we work on somehow enhancing our psychic abilities, so that we can compete with the eldar.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15681375

FUCK YES! SLAANESH REALLY DOES LOVE ME! THIS IS LIKE THE SIXTH TIME I'VE ROLLED DOUBLE SIXES IN THE LAST FEW DAYS!

>>15681377

>can't the stupid suggestions wait until I've had a little more to drink?

Speak for yourself. It's 8am Sunday morning here.

rolled 50 = 50

Moonwalk to whatever happens next

>>15681375
You inform Ahriman that he should send bigger ships in now. Bigger is better, after all.

Ahriman nods. "Very well then Betty." He giggles like a little girl once more.

Displeased with how the others are reacting to what you considered a terrifying name, you announce that wish them to refer to you as Abaddon once more.

Ahriman sighs. "Very well then Abaddon..." he says.

Lucius speaks up. "Now I'm eager to go after these Eldar bitches, but first what are we going to do about Terra? We can't just ignore it."

rolled 47 = 47

>>15681435
We shall copulate, and populate the world with our spawn. Just to please Tzeentch, we shall become our own ancestors, and sow the seed of Chaos among our race from it's very founding!

rolled 31 = 31

Slap Terra

rolled 7 = 7

>>15681447
Well fuck, come on Tzeentch, just one re-roll!

rolled 57 = 57

>>15681435

"How's about we tame the dinosaurs, kill the Eldar, and then hurl the whole planet into the sun to make sure the Carrion Emperor is never born?"

rolled 67 = 67

>>15681435

We've got millions of years before the Emperor is due to show up, we can focus on the Eldar for now.

Glassing the planet is definitely on our "to-do" list though.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15681435
Isn't it obvious? Take over the place. Gather up dinos and resources to help war efforts.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15681435

Send some marines and cultists to stay on Terra and go into hiding, attempt to subvert, capture, kill, or dominate anyone who lands on the planet. If their force is larger than ours hide and chip away at them.

rolled 42 = 42

>>15681456

SLAANESH WILLS IT!
WITH HIS TWIN DICKS!

rolled 1 = 1

I think we need some more intel, particularly as to what date it is and the status of the galaxy.
It seems like prehistoric from the state of Terra, but what about those pre-heresy Alpha Legion guys? Where the hell did they come from if we are in the prehistoric?
Perhaps we are in the prehistoric, but the Alpha Legion guys got pulled along with us as we went past the pre-heresy era.

We should try questioning our Eldar prisoner/wife, she'll know the date and what's happening in the Eldar empire. Perhaps even give us some ideas as to how to implement this mind plague.

We should also see if the ship's cogitators can calculate the date based on stellar and galactic drift. So look at at the positions of stars and galaxies in the sky and try and compare them to stored star maps. This depends on the ship actually having some fairly comprehensive star maps though, and will take a reasonably long amount of time.

>>15681456
You say that you want a handful of fleet to remain at Terra, harvesting it's natural resources so that they may be used to assist in your plans.

Lucius nods "A good idea. There's some deadly beasts down there which could make for fearsome servants of Chaos."

"Now onto the next topic; your "wedding"." Ahriman says, as several of the champions give you strange looks. "I assume that this will play an important part in converting the Eldar, and is not just out of personal desires?"

rolled 71 = 71

>>15681569

We're just using that as a ruse to get close to them, hopefully it will work. Either way when we get in we're tearing that place apart and using their blood to honor Khorne. We can take a few for Slaanesh too.

rolled 83 = 83

>>15681569

"Oh, yes. The wedding will be a great ceremony in which we bless my wife with powers of Chaos, that she might corrupt her own people from the inside out."

rolled 84 = 84

>>15681569
Wait until contact with Eldar
Invite them, recreate SoIaF's Red Wedding

rolled 82 = 82

>>15681569
Invite every eldar she ever knew. Then convert them during the ceremony.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15681569

"My greatest personal desire right now is only to see the Eldar corrupted and destroyed with Chaos. Don't worry, this marriage will more than help to serve that purpose."

rolled 47 = 47

>>15681569
"It shall be a big ceremony, which will occur once we have at least partially swayed over the minds of some higher ups. They shall see the wedding as a momentous event in their history, where two species converge for the good of all. The onlookers will be inspired by the ruinous powers, and several of our own shall take them as brides. From this day forth, the seed of chaos will be thoroughly implanted in their species, it is the final step of our conquest."

>>15681598

Fuckyear.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15681569

"Damn the wedding. The eldar spawn can wait in her cage. There are more pressing matters to attend to."

rolled 6 = 6

>>15681659
Bumping for this, cause i was gonna write the same thing but i cba. Also, dramatic music must be played. And we must still be wanking under the table.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15681598

Rolling for this.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15681659
Rolling for this

rolled 99 = 99

>>15681673

Where are you when I roll 1d6 and need you?! >8[

rolled 17 = 17

>>15681692
TZEENTCH HAS SPOKEN

>>15681692

Son of a bitch. Sorry. Meant to strip out the email field. Fuck.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15681692

Oh. Uh, no hot dickings for us then, huh?

rolled 93 = 93

>>15681707
Not yet, but soon.

rolled 47 = 47

rolling to grow another couple of feet. in terms of height.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15681659
FOR CHAOS!

>>15681692
You tell Ahriman that you won't be discussing the wedding for now. There are far more important things to do, and your marriage with the Eldar woman can wait for later.

'"A wise decision." Ahriman says. "It would be best to focus on-"

The sorcerer is cut off as a muffled explosion echos from deeper in the ship. The throneroom rumbles as the sound rings through the room.

"...what was that?" Lucius asks.

The ship's vox channel answers. "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

rolled 14 = 14

>>15681800
"EVERYONE TO BATTLE STATIONS"

rolled 56 = 56

>>15681800

Details. NOW. Is it the Eldar? How many ships, have we sustained damage, etc, etc.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15681800

FIND THEM.

KILL THEM.

TAKE SOME PRISONERS. (Some.)

rolled 48 = 48

>>15681800
WE SHALL SHOW THEM THE TRUE MIGHT OF CHAOS. LET US UNLEASH MY SONAUGHTER UPON THEM!!!!!!!!! Annnnnd we'll sit here and have a quick cuppa. THEN WE SHALL JOIN THE FRAY AND SPILL GLORIOUS BLOOD FOR KHORNE.

rolled 14 = 14

>>15681826

Rolling for this, but more than some prisoners.

rolled 16 = 16

>>15681800

FIND THEM AND SHOVE TYPHUS INTO THEIR SPHINCTERS

rolled 38 = 38

SHOOT FUCKERS
BOARD FUCKERS (with junior along for his first battle)
KILL FUCKERS
INTERROGATE THOSE LEFT ALIVE BY PREVIOUS STEPS

>>15681800
find out who it is first

rolled 89 = 89

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
Then we tell our forces to skip towards the enemy. Laughing evilly.

rolled 18 = 18

>>15681886
Oops, wrong box

rolled 9 = 9

>>15681888
this. Because it can only end well. Also, send junior along. but he doens''t have to skip.

>>15681826
You shout the warcry of Khorne over the vox, and tell your forces to engage the enemy. You add a cruel chuckle at the end of your order.

The war council scatters as they ready for battle. You walk by a viewing hole. You can see ships closing in, most of them small in size but you make make out a larger shape far off.

The vox chimes. An officer informs you that two dozen Eldar vessels are attacking the fleet, as well as a handful of small craft. Most are of escort or size but there is a large one that has a powerful weapon. Said weapon ripped into the Spirit's hull and ignored it's void shields completely.

You are told that the Eldar have not fired since their initial strike but are closing in very fast.

What now, warmaster?

rolled 58 = 58

Use SINDRI to smack their ships

rolled 56 = 56

>>15681980

Chances are they don't know exactly who they are facing, chances are they don't know what's waiting for them.

Order the captain to engage, get us close and prepare to board their ships.

rolled 25 = 25

We sing beautiful chaos songs through the warp, and the blessings of the gods carry forth our voice and the eldar psykers immediately fall prey to the gods. The ship converts to chaos on account of our singing. (but dont mind some of their men being slaughtered)

rolled 13 = 13

>>15681980
Try to open a channel & get the eldar to stop firing, its time to try and start the corruption of the eldar.

rolled 56 = 56

get some cabal guy to summon a deamon then bind it to a rocket or something and let it corrupt the big ship (or least try to knock it out)

rolled 95 = 95

>>15682015

Rolling for this.

rolled 83 = 83

>>15682025
THIS. We can't corrupt them as easily if we're their enemies. We must play along with a Tzeentian mindset for now. Killing will come later, and when it does, it will be GLORIOUS.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15682030
>cabal the fuck was i thinking hurr

i meant sorcerer

rolled 29 = 29

>>15682061
This. Establish a link to them and declare yourself allies.

>>15682061
>>15682091

Fuck off, Chaos has no allies and we're not about to let these maggots live.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15682061
>>15682091
fuuuck, need a higher roll, otherwise khornes influence will override the fleet. WE MUST NEGOTIATEEE

rolled 21 = 21

>>15682114
you fuck off. We've spent at least a couple of threads organising the subtlety with which we will tear down the eldar from the inside, theres much to fight later, but now we can't just ruin all our planning. though if we must fight, declare it self defense later and declare ourselves allies etc

>>15682040
You order all vessels to engage the Eldar and ready for close quarters combat.

The Crusading fleet moves forward to meet the foe. Several cruisers open fire with their forward weapon batteries. Lancers strike out, glancing the Eldar ships. As the Eldar close in they fire their own weapons.

Plasma and energy blasts scorch your ships but are unable to punch through the void shields. The large Eldar ship fires again, a massive lance flying out and striking the Vengeful Spirit.

You are informed over the vox that a weapon emplacement was destroyed by the blast. The Eldar ships are closer now, still being shot at by your armada with some effect, and seem intent on getting even closer. Reports indicate small craft have begun strafing your fleet.

rolled 85 = 85

>>15682143

Keep talking son, when we board those ships we're going to rip them apart and string their intestines along the hallways.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15682161

Rolling for this.

rolled 85 = 85

>>15682154
DANCE MOTHERFUCKERS.
GET JUNIOR TO TRY AND CREATE A SMALL WARP STORM AND GET SOME MOTHERFUCKING DAEMONS UP IN THIS SHIT.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15682182
AND GET HIM TO TELEPORT YOU AND YOUR COUNCIL ONTO THEIR MAIN VESSEL.

rolled 5 = 5

>>15682197

NOW WE'RE TALKING!

rolled 69 = 69

>>15682197
Fuck yes! Rolling for this.

rolled 9 = 9

>>15682197
SO IT BEGINS. Rollan'

rolled 40 = 40

>>15682213
>>15682202
>>15682197

YES! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

rolled 12 = 12

>>15682154

Order the fleet to form up on the defensive while boarding parties form up and enemy vessel spearheading this ambush is identified.

Demand an assessment of their fleets strength.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15682197
FOR CHAOSSSSSSS

rolled 13 = 13

>>15682197
This pleases me. Rolling for bridge teleporting as well.

WAAAAIT A SECOND.

The Chaos gods don't exist yet.

They haven't yet formed into their actual Warpy aspects.

Maybe at some point we install our sonaughter as the all powerful Chaos god? Or better yet, become one ourselves.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15682197
This

rolled 88 = 88

>>15682197
rollingggg. also, have junoir learn how to reproduce asexually/

>>15682269
... fuck.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15682197
Bwahahah!
A Shiny new ship for us! Cleanse, Purge, Kill!

This is all a simple misunderstanding and the eldar should calm down. And by calm down i mean pass out from bloodloss because we've chopped their knees off!

rolled 49 = 49

>>15682269
Oh shit.

>>15682269

The warp will sing with joy at the pain we will bring to these maggots.

>>Sindri
>>Araghast
>>Eliphas

You are kidding right? They're like the pussiest chaos lords in the galaxy!? I mean seriously, a Basic sorceror and two basic lords.
He would take fucking Skarbrands soul and bind it to his fists and other shit like that. He would eat Lucious the eternal and bind him to his armour as an insult.

rolled 85 = 85

OP, where's the update???
>>15682269
waiting for this.

>>15682269
Suddenly, you see Noddaba enter the throneroom. The creature peers through a viewing window.

*PSYKERS. SO MANY. I HEAR THEM. THEIR POWER STRENGTHENS THE WARP* it says.

You then hear a psychic screech as the abomination it's tendrils break through the steel floor and go into the cells below. You see the tendrils grabbing a warp tear, expanding it with each pull.

Ahriman and several other sorcerer suddenly vomit before falling onto the ground and passing out. The warp tear continues expanding until it becomes a small warp storm.

Eldritch energy and bolts fling themselves everywhere, scorching ceramite and stone as they whip around the room.You can still see as Noddaba's tendrils start breaking off. They begin hissing and whipping around like they're creatures of their own as they fall into the warp rip.

The storm's winds grab hold of you. *LET THEM SEE THE TRUE POWER OF CHAOS*

And then you fall into the warp.

-----

Soon you are in the physical world once more. You feel dizzy, but can still make out the area around you. You seem to be onboard another vessel.

Eldar lay all around, vomit and blood dripping along their bodies. It appears the warp rip teleported you, along with the rest of the council, aboard an Eldar ship.

Ahriman pulls himself back up, although clearly in some agony. The Eldar start doing so as well.

One of them looks up at you. It stands shocked, unmoving and silent. Then it shouts.

"ENEMIES IN THE BARRACKS!" It draws a blade, and the other Eldar quickly get up on their feet.

rolled 68 = 68

>>15682498

CAPTURE THEM! WE NEED TO BEGIN CONVERSION EFFORTS!

ACTUALLY, CAPTURE THEM AFTER WE KILL MOST OF THEM, NO POINT DISPLEASING KHORNE!

Attempt negotiation.

rolled 89 = 89

pop pop watch the motherfuckas drop

rolled 52 = 52

>>15682526
Oh shitfuck, man.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15682517
So is Nobbada with us and did he split into siblings? If so, Kharne should lead us in showing it the true way to spill blood for the blood god.

Also, tghis could still be workable in terms of negotiations. Show them we're not to be trifled with etc.

rolled 57 = 57

>>15682555
I get trips but a shitty roll? REROLLAN

>>15682498
Demand to be taken to the person in charge.

If attacked show them no mercy in defending ourselves, but try and keep up the "Peace-loving envoy" act

rolled 12 = 12

>>15682580
herp

rolled 35 = 35

>>15682498

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, KILL THEM ALL AND MAKE A FEAST OF THEIR INNARDS!

rolled 59 = 59

>>15682580
Indeed. They probably wont agree so we most likely still get glorious BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. But wew cant afford to mess up all our planning just yet.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15682580
>>15682586
>>15682610
Rolling for these, but we must do so in a BADASS way, one that's just as arrogant as the Eldar themselves. WE ARE NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH FAGGOTS.

>>15682529
You point the Talon of Horus at the Eldar warrior and fire off two shells from it's storm bolter. The xeno's head explodes and bloody bits scattered everywhere.

The rest of the council opens fire, ripping the Eldar apart with boltfire. Shells fly all over and explode, decorating the walls with guts and splattering blood everywhere.

Soon almost the entire room is dead. A few Eldar are still left, crying as death slowly takes them or crawling on the ground, screaming in agony after losing their limbs.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15682631
supporting

rolled 93 = 93

>>15682631
dont wanna be a rerolling faggot but i can't fucking waiiiiiit motherfuckers. rollin.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15682498
"YOU THERE! YES YOU! THE THIN GANGLY MAN HOLDING THE SHITTY WEAPON, I DEMAND YOU TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER IMMEDIATELY I WISH TO DIPLOMATIZE WITH HIM."

rolled 35 = 35

>>15682643

Walk over the bodies on our way out, the bodies make an interesting crunching sound. Head toward the bridge. It's time we captured us some eldar psykers and taking them over.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15682655
This, but said after beating him over the head with his friend's severed leg

rolled 19 = 19

>>15682643

Let Noddaba have his first 'spoils of war'. Daddies little boy is going to be a man today. *Sniff*

Meanwhile, lets see about jacking this ship and imprisoning the rest of the crew. Forcible conversion isn't going to happen on its own!

rolled 11 = 11

>>15682643
See if Noddaba can use warp majicks to impersonate the Eldar and hide the bodies.

Then stride onwards and attempt to contact the head Elf.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15682659

Rolling for a path of destruction to the bridge.

>>15682655
This man speaks wisely. Pick up said Eldar's arm and beat him with it, while demanding to diplomatize the bastards.

>>15682679
DAMMIT! Rollan...

rolled 100 = 100

>>15682679
Second.

rolled 34 = 34

>>15682685
DAMMIT! ROLL DAMMIT ROLL!

rolled 94 = 94

>>15682691

Haha, hell yeah!

>>15682691
You see an Eldar with a severed arm attempting to crawl away. You see his arm lying nearby and grab it, before picking him up with your other hand.

You lift the Eldar to face level as tears run down the xeno's frightened face. You hold the arm in front of him before slamming him in the face with the soggy end. You demand that he tell you where his leaders are.

The Eldar, now with a bloodied face, continues crying. "W-why are you d-doing this?!"

rolled 91 = 91

self defence.

rolled 54 = 54

>>15682754


Lick the blood from his face, growl and demand to know the location of the bridge of this ship.

rolled 45 = 45

>>15682754
YOU OPEN FIRED ON US. DON'T EXPECT US TO SIMPLY COME ABOARD AND ASK TO TALK TO YOUR LEADERS! WE ARE THE MESSENGERS OF GODS AND WE WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED OF SUBDUED. TELL ME WHERE YOUR LEADERS ARE, AND WE MAY RESTORE YOUR LIMB AND LIFE.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15682754
demand to know where the nearest females are. time to start our harem

See, THIS is what Abaddon Quest is all about! Establishing our harem is so much more important than that betty shit.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15682754
CHAOS, BITCHES! CHAOS!!!
Then lightly bump his forehead with daemon-infused codpiece and let him get a taste of chaos.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15682784
This.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15682821
btw, chaos tastes like mung freshly-squeezed out of a very pregnant woman's belly.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15682754
Give him to Lucius, we'll find the leaders on our own.

>>15682754

Position the eldar on the wall.
Bash his skull open with Araghast.

rolled 32 = 32

Use him as a daemonhost.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15682867

Damn you roll!

rolled 12 = 12

YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO? WE FUCKING RAVE THAT'S WHAT. WE FUCKING ROCK OUT WITH GUITARS AND SHIT AND INTRODUCE THE ELDAR TO SUCH MAJESTY THAT HE REGENERATES COMPLETELY. FUCK YEAH MAN. ALSO ASK FOR THEIR LEADERS TO TRY FUCKING DIPLOMACY WITH THEM.

>>15682765
You claim that your are retaliating in self-defense.

The Eldar manages to spit a mix of blood and saliva at your face. "You a-attack our hunting planet, k-kill our people....and claim that this is self-defense?" he stammers "F-fuck you!"

rolled 14 = 14

>>15682933

Bite his warp damned face off and find someone else to direct us to the bridge.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15682933

Crush his skull with Araghast

rolled 71 = 71

>>15682933
"Your hunting planet? YOUR HUNTING PLANET?! THIS IS OUR FUCKING PLANET ASSHOLES, AND YOU WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER IT. THIS IS TERRA, AND TERRA IS OUR HOMEWORLD." We then slap him with Sindri.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15682933
We are the species that you will fail to hunt. And we are back to show you the folly of your mistake.

Now where tha eldar wimminz at?

rolled 43 = 43

>>15682933

No Eldar... Fuck you!

Then fuck him.

rolled 1 = 1

>>15682933
Smack him a few more times with his own arm, and then grasp his skull with Sindri. Make that shit explode like he's an extra in Scanners.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15683005
rerollan. bless this die o gods of chaos!

rolled 37 = 37

"We are the messengers of Gods and the guardians of Terra. We merely defended our planet from invaders. You call it your planet? It is not. It is ours, and no Eldar may step foot upon it without pain and suffering. How do you defend your actions?"

rolled 7 = 7

>>15682933
threaten him again, then tell him we'll eat his soul if he doesn't take us to his leaders.

also make up lies/truths about this planet being ours before the eldar used it and how we've woken up after a long rest to take it back.

>>15683021
You begin beating the Eldar with his severed arm once more. After several strikes, you grab the xeno's head with Sindri.

Warp energies begin filling up the Eldar's skull and he screams. His head explodes, splattering blood and skull shards all over you and the room.

(need to eat now, will be back soon)

rolled 12 = 12

>>15683112
have Noddaba consume the eldars souls, then pimp-walk to the bridge.

(And I am back. Commence rolling for next action)

>>15683021

Slannesh smiles on you

rolled 54 = 54

>>15683112

WARPATH TO THE BRIDGE, BUTCHER EVERYTHING. ALSO, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. GET OUR PSYKERS TO SCRAMFUCK THE WARP SO THEY CANNOT GET A MESSAGE OUT TO ANYONE ELSE.

AND WHEN WE GET TO THE BRIDGE, TRY NOT TO KILL EVERYONE. JUST MOST OF THEM.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15683112
Prowl the ship, order the council to take prisoners when possible, but you understand if they can't.

THEN
KILL
ALMOST EVERYTHING

rolled 87 = 87

Go to the bridge, find moar eldar.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15683222
I approve of this.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15683222

I too support this.

>>15683251

Disappointed by the lack of converted eldar psykers, can Noddaba project a corrupting field to drive them insane? Oh and wake up Ahriman, he's usually useful

That aside storm the ship! Kill mostly everything but not quite!

>>15683311

Forgot my chaos dice

rolled 82 = 82

>>15683321

derp

>>15683321
>>15683311

IT'S "dice+1d100" IN THE EMAIL FIELD.

>>15683328

realised that, thanks for the intended help though

rolled 47 = 47

>>15683311
>Ahriman
>useful

Just bitch-slap him with Sindri to make sure he isn't fucking things up again.

>>15683291
You order the council the move forward to the bridge. The champions, high-ranking mortals and astartes begin rushing out of the barracks.

You approach Ahriman and tell him to send a psychic screech throughout the vessel so that no Eldar may inform other vessels of the situation. He nods. "A cunning idea, Abaddon."

As Ahriman and his sorcerers prepare their spell you and the rest of the council move down the halls of the ship.

Suddenly a group of Eldar appear. They raise their weapons and shout. "ENEMIES ABOARD THE VESSEL! I REPEAT, ENEMIES ABO-"

You can hear a light screech in your mind. The Eldar grab their heads in pain as Ahriman psychic assault begins. Several marines fire off their bolters, killing half a squad of the xenos instantly.

However the Eldar start getting their shit back together. Several return fire as a few other warriors, including the group leader who appears to be carrying a force weapon, charge at you to engage in close combat.

"DIE ALIEN SCUM!"

rolled 86 = 86

>>15683408
grab the force weapon with your non-sindri arm, then burn a fate point to not die right after with sindri grab the leaders head and convert the fucker to chaos

rolled 22 = 22

>>15683408

Tis the season, dead the halls wiTH THEIR BLOOD!

(Pic related, our target on the bridge :3))

rolled 17 = 17

>>15683408
grab the force weapon with your non-sindri arm, then burn a fate point to not die right after with sindri grab the leaders head and convert the fucker to chaos

rolled 87 = 87

>>15683408
Engage him in a sword during which you will exchange witty banter with one another.

rolled 24 = 24

>>15683433
this. Also, confuse them by yelling about them attacking you & invading your planet etc

rolled 23 = 23

>>15683464
Meant that to 'sword duel'

rolled 11 = 11

>>15683408
yell "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO TALK THINGS OVER IN A CIVILIZED MANNER"

Then use Sindri to rip a chunk of something out of the wall and hurl it at the Leader's head.

rolled 2 = 2

>>15683408
THEY CALLED US ALIENS!


PURGE THE XENOS FILTH! DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF ME! KILL MAIM BURN!

rolled 54 = 54

>>15683408

KILL EVERYTHING!

UNLESS THEY LOOK IMPORTANT, INCAP THEM IF WE CAN.

rolled 96 = 96

>>15683433
Dude a force weapon will fucking kill you on the spot unless you get a blessed roll.

Don't be stupid and use Araghast to disarm the force weapon, then Sindri-convert the guy.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15683408
Whip out your daemon blade and let the taste chaos. And by this, I mean - execute the motherfuckers.
Also, let's get Noddaba up here - s/he's been wanting to spill some blood for the blood god. BTW, is his/her humanoid battle armor ready yet?

>>15683408
FIND THE FARSEER

BREAK HIS/HER MIND TO CHAOS'S WILL

>>15683519
As the squad leader closes you pull your waist back. When the Eldar brings his force weapon towards you you launch a pelvic thrust at his armed hand.

Araghast slams into the xeno's hand causing him to drop the force blade. You then grab the Eldar's head with Sindri and allow the sorcerer to fill the warrior's head with his sexy whispers.

You release the Eldar, who picks up his force weapon and lunges at his former squad. "POWER DEMANDS SACRIFICE! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" he screams.

The Eldar, unable to use their psychic abilities with Ahriman's screech ongoing, are quickly torn apart by the council. Several survivors flee from your council, as another Eldar squad armed with heavy weapons approaches from the opposite direction across the hall.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15683641

HEAVY WEAPONS? YOU CALL THOSE MISERABLE SHIT STICKS HEAVY WEAPONS?!?! CHARGE THEM, LET'S SEE HOW THEY FARE IN CLOSE COMBAT WITH CHAOS'S FINEST. ALSO, USE SINDREI TO SEND A CHAOS BOLT THEIR WAY AND KEEP THEM FROM SHOOTING AT US.

>>15681044
what was that pic before the gurren lagaan glasses?

rolled 14 = 14

Glare at the shots they fire.

Make them stop with the power of your mind and SSINDRIIIIIIIIIIIII

rolled 30 = 30

>>15683641
I DO NOT NEED TO KILL THEM

THEY ARE ALREADY DAMNED BY CHAOS

rolled 85 = 85

>>15683700
useing Warp Time to re-roll this

rolled 83 = 83

>>15683641
FASTBALL SPECIAL WITH THE KHORNATE ELDAR

THROW HIM AT THE HEAVY WEAPONS TEAMS

>>15683700
>>15683715
MAKE IT SO

rolled 94 = 94

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
Also, Tzeench is fine too."

Dammit, let's get Nodabba up in this shit already. The abomination that is our sonaughter, the living embodiment of Chaos itself, deserves to get in on this shit.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15683732
FUCK THAT
FASTBALL SPECIAL WITH EVERY SINGLE KHORNEATE IN YOUR GROUP
THEY WON'T GET A SINGLE SHOT OFF

rolled 39 = 39

Their weapons malfunction and explode in their faces

just as planned...

>>15683744
I think we have a winner!

>>15683744
As the heavy weapons Eldar prepare to fire you suddenly hear screaming. Several tentacles, not attached to anything at all, leap out from the darkness and attack them.

They go for the heads, biting down with teeth around the suckers on the Eldar skulls until they break or are sliced off. The Eldar try to fight them off, but then another creature arrives.

Noddaba grabs the remaining Eldar with his tendril arms and rips them to pieces. Once he is done, thrashing them around like a child with a toy, it turns to you.

*PAPA*

rolled 71 = 71

>>15683813
GOOD JOB SON.
NOW FIND AND KILL THEIR FARSEER.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15683813

GIVE HIM A FATHERLY NOD OF APPROVAL, TELL HIM TO HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS HE CAN ON THIS SHIP WHILE WE TAKE CARE OF THINGS ON THE BRIDGE.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15683813
"SON!" give him a hug

>>15683813
SON I AM PROUD

SO ARE THE GODS

rolled 46 = 46

>>15683813
give him a thumbs up and tell him/her to carry on with what they are doing unless they are interested in even more blood shead. either way convert some of the surviving eldar to puss bombs of nurgle

rolled 13 = 13

>>15683813
Brofist for our lovely abomination. To the bridge!

rolled 57 = 57

>>15683813
Son i am appoint.

"Son! You will now undertake your first command!" nab the Khornate Eldar (Henseforth Shanks) and tell him the Blood will flow on Nodabba's Call. Use Sindrii to calm the bloodlusted mind long enough to obey

>>15683827
You congratulate your sonaughter on a job well done, then tell it to go assassinate the master of the ship. The abomination shakes it's head.

*YES! I WILL DEVOUR IT'S SOUL AND MAKE IT'S BODY A PUPPET OF CHAOS!*

Noddaba and it's tendril creatures begin running down the hall in the direction of the bridge. Meanwhile, more Eldar have arrived from the other direction, several dozen of them. They begin opening fire with their energy weaponry.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15683945
I want to reroll that and preferably keep the farseer alive long enough to toss to the Slanesshi champions to do as they please

rolled 20 = 20

>>15683953

ARRIGHT! HIP THRUST, AND MAKE A FREAKIN' DAEMON MATERIALIZE INSIDE ONE OF THEIR HEADS!

rolled 66 = 66

>>15683953

IT'S TIME TO GET OUT OF THIS WARP DAMNED HALLWAY AND GET MOVING BEFORE WE GET PINNED. ROLLING TO HAUL ASS AWAY FROM THEM AND SET UP AN AMBUSH AT THE NEXT INTERSECTION.

rolled 78 = 78

>>15683953
YOU DARE ATTACK THE CHOSEN OF CHAOS?!

OPEN FIRE, ALL WEAPONS.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15683953
time for some nurgle up on this bitch. have a champion of nurgle use some of the semi-dead eldar into exploding corpses and throw them at the non-chaos eldar

rolled 24 = 24

>>15683953
DON'T LET HIM GO ALONE, I WILL ACCOMPANY HIM PERSONALLY

rolled 37 = 37

>>15683953
>>15683966
YOU HEARD ME SON! I WANT THEM ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO WATCH YOU SUCK THE MARROW FROM THEIR FRAIL BONES!

HEY PUSSBAG! THINK FAST!
Grab the nearest Nurgle worshipper and hurl them at the oncoming eldar. Will they explode? Will they spread the gift of nurgle safely as the eldar vomit, filling their helmets to the brim, drown, and turn into plague zombies? That sounds funner.

rolled 97 = 97

>>15684025
I'm sure Nurgle would approve.

>>15683987
You decide standing in this location is a bad idea. You have the entire council, including the Khornate Eldar, to retreat around a corner.

You flee from the Eldar, a few champions firing off rounds and two men getting taken down by energy blasts. Once you reach an intersection you have the group turn around it.

The Eldar pursue you. As your men ready their weapons the enemy squads can be heard getting closer. When they finally reach the corner, a group of warriors carrying bladed power weapons surge forth.

They are immediately greeted with bolterfire. Almost all the melee-fighters are cut down by your champions. When the gun-wielding units come into view your council charges at them, quickly crushing and slashing the remaining Eldar.

There are a few casualties on your side but nothing major. The Eldar are almost dead, with only about a dozen still alive but horribly wounded.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15684143
POISON THE DEAD AND DEFILE THE WOUNDED AND CRUCIFY THE LAND
Also, our name is Easy Kyle "Betty" Abaddon

rolled 10 = 10

>>15684143

SHOOT EVERY OTHER ELDAR, THE REMAINING THREE WE WILL ORDER TO DIRECT US TO THE BRIDGE.

rolled 6 = 6

>>15684143
use nurgle to conver their bodies to surve chaos

rolled 93 = 93

>>15684143

Grab the wounded, and then hijack this ship!

rolled 85 = 85

>>15684143
WE MUST FIND THAT FARSEER BEFORE WE CAN FUCK WITH OTHER SHIT

rolled 71 = 71

>>15684165
Save one, slaughter the rest. The one remaining can lead us to the bridge, where we shall meet with our sonaughter, diplomatize with whatever Eldar faggots are left, and, perhaps, commit a heresey or five while we're at it.

>>15684176
You decide it's time to take control of the vessel. You order your men to pick up the wounded Eldar for later uses and advanced to the bridge once more.

After a few minutes of moving, you can see another squad of Eldar coming at you. As your council prepares to butcher them once more, you hear a voice in your head.

*Hey Abaddon...you know that warp scream thing you made me do?* Ahriman says

Suddenly the Eldar begin unleashed a barrage of mind bullets. The mental rounds rip through ceramite armour, killing and wounded several astartes.

You can hear Ahriman make a choking noise. *I can't keep it up anymore. Sorry...*

You see the leader of the Eldar squad forming a ball of lightning in it's hands, which it throws straight at you.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15684305

CATCH IT WITH SINDREI (MAH MAN) AND THROW IT RIGHT BACK AT THAT MAGGOT, THEN RUSH THE FUCKERS AND START KICKING THEIR SHIT IN.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15684305

FUCK THIS SHIT! KICK THAT BALL RIGHT BACK INTO HIS STUPID SPACE-ELF FACE!

rolled 73 = 73

>>15684305
FUCK YOU AHRIMAN
Catch the lightning ball with mouth, spit it back at eldar.

rolled 85 = 85

>>15684305
do a pelvic thrust and hit the lightning ball right at her head

rolled 13 = 13

>>15684305

Punch it back. Fuck.

rolled 85 = 85

>>15684305
beat him to the punch with sindri
>rolling to quick draw

rolled 52 = 52

>>15684338

SECOND

>>15684338
Seeing the lightning orb coming, you brace your pelvis. As the ball of energy closes in you thrust your codpiece forward. Araghast slams into ball and sends it flying back at the Eldar.

The squad leader's screams before getting struck by it. She begins to spasm as electricity runs through her body and her head explodes into a mess of gore. Several other Eldar are struck by the lightning bolts emitted and collapse.

Your council returns fire on the enemy squad, quickly tearing them to shreds with their boltguns. Soon almost all the Eldar are dead, except for a few wounded on the ground.

You can see a strong light nearby, and feel a powerful warp presence emitting from it.

rolled 3 = 3

>>15684325
Sindri, mah dogg. I approve of this.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15684305
SINDRII Bitch Slap!
Smack it into the largest concentration of Eldar, and glare down the leader.

Charger him/her, use your enslaved poweres to warp the targets mind, make them one of a child.

rolled 42 = 42

Y'know, I'm wondering how we can use this complete and utter curb-stomping of the Eldar's attacking force in our crusade to corrupt them all. We're not exactly endearing ourselves to them by killing everyone we come across.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15684392

Get ready to take that bitch down. Haul the wounded along if you have the time, if not, run like a mad motherfucker.

rolled 80 = 80

Pick up one of the wounded Eldar. "If you want to live, you will stay quiet and try not to die."
Let your bladed finger tap against their neck, waiting for the presence show itself.

rolled 22 = 22

>>15684392
Surprise the source of this warp presence by bursting n and looking all manly and awesome, then spout off a witty one liner and incapacitate the source/user for Ahriman to experiment on later.

rolled 59 = 59

>>15684392
demand the presence come and face you like a man. Have your men pick up the wounded/dead

rolled 86 = 86

>>15684392

WE MUST NOW TAKE COVER AND PREPARE FOR THE FARSEERS ARRIVAL, HAVE OUR PSYKERS DO WHATEVER THEY CAN TO DROWN HER OUT WHEN SHE ARRIVES. WE WILL THEN PROCEED TO PUSH HER SHIT IN WITH ASTONISHING CONSISTENCY.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15684450

Rolling for this, and let's try to take her alive if at all possible...she doesn't even have to be in one piece!

rolled 70 = 70

Spin to the side, dodging it, and hit it back at him with our daemon sword, shouting "HOME RUN" whilst we do it!

rolled 8 = 8

>>15684445

Seconding this.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15684392

Feel Khorne's wrath overwhelm you, bitch slap the air so hard everything in front of you explodes, rush in raging and screaming to see if anything is still alive.

I summon 88s

rolled 88 = 88

>>15684450
>>15684479

Thirded, we need to take her out and so our psykers can get to work on the rest of their fleet.

>>15684425
>>15684450
Convinced that the Farseer is coming, you order your council to prepare themselves.

Several of the marines managed to grab the wounded Eldar and bring them back, the rest of your group slowly advancing. You try contacting your sorcerers via vox but they don't seem to be responding.

Suddenly, the Eldar leader comes into view. The Seer is black-haired, armed with seems be levitating off the ground, with sparks of lightning trailing behind. Surrounding her are warriors with elegant armour, force weapons and heavy guns. There are also two other Seers next to her, although she is clearly the lead one.

She speaks.

*SO YOU ARE THE INTERLOPERS WHO HAVE ATTACKED OUR TERRITORIES AND BEEN TORTURING THE WARP?* she speaks into your mind *I AM HIGH SEER DAE'NEER MAK'YIR ASUYA, MISTRESS OF THIS VESSEL.*

rolled 92 = 92

>>15684503
THIS!

Captcha - defiled rautate - DEFILE HIM GOOD!

>>15684515
Ooooh, almost.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15684515

You nearly had it man, you nearly had it.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15684515

>87

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

rolled 41 = 41

>>15684450
We all know Nodabba was born just for this moment. Let the living heresy that is our sonnaughter destroy the Eldar farseer!

>>15684515
>87

Ok, the dice seriously have to be sentient and laughing at us right now.

>>15681044 retrieved a t-rex, a female Eldar warrior

>>female Eldar

dude all that's going to lead to is fap fodder

>>and it did

rolled 2 = 2

>>15684526
I AM ABBADON THE DESPOILER, BADASS OF CHAOS, AND I DEMAND THE CHANCE TO MAKE DIPLOMACY WITH YOU!

rolled 50 = 50

>>15684525

AHAHA, AHAHAHAH!

rolled 9 = 9

>>15684526

Do this:

>>15684515

I again, summon the 88s!

rolled 37 = 37

Demand that they leave your homeworld, and that they should bow down to you in forgiveness, lest they be smote by the Lords of the Warp.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15684526

GO TIME CHAPS.

FIRST, GIVE HER ALL OF OUR TITLES, ALL OF THEM.

SECOND, CALL FOR BACKUP IF POSSIBLE.

THIRD. SEND A PSYCHIC JAB TO OUR SPAWN AND TELL HIM THAT DADDY HAS A REALLY SPECIAL TREAT FOR HIM AND THAT HE SHOULD COME HERE RIGHT AWAY.

FOURTH REMIND THIS BITCH WHO WE ARE, JUST INCASE SHE FORGOT IN THE PAST 4 SECONDS.

FIFTH. KILL THEM ALL AND CAPTURE HER, A HIGH SEER WILL BE INVALUABLE IN CORRUPTING THE REST OF HER RACE.

rolled 27 = 27

>>15684526

"And soon you'll be one of my bitches, just like Ahriman." Then, set Noddaba on her.

>>15684526Suddenly, the Eldar leader comes into view. The Seer is black-haired, armed with seems be levitating off the ground, with sparks of lightning trailing behind. Surrounding her are warriors with elegant armour, force weapons and heavy guns. There are also two other Seers next to her, although she is clearly the lead one.

>>her

your intro to 40k was dawn of war, wasn't it?

rolled 81 = 81

>>15684578
may I add to your suggestions the possibility of making her the wife of our sonaughter.

together they could have delicious psyker babies.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15684526
>sparks of lightning
she's sparkling?
KILL

rolled 6 = 6

>>15684578

I second this, I'm just wondering how we can keep her captured and subdued in the first place.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15684566

I give up on Khorne, just kill the bitch.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15684578
FOR CHAOS!

rolled 36 = 36

You know who would love to slaughter these fucks?

Kharn. Let him have a bit of fun for once, he's perfect for this. I figure he should have it finished in about 30 seconds.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15684526
Being that Abaddon is not only a great warrior of battle, but also a great warrior of the mind. She cannot be harder to outwit than what big A had to do in order to gain the appreciation of all four Chaos Gods. Convince her this is self defense, that you were simply traveling the warp and found yourself in the most precarious situation - and despite the assault and slaughter it was merely a misunderstanding. Then rape her.

rolled 15 = 15

>>15684526
and you are the leader of these fools.your soul shall make quite a meal for sondaughter and your followers shall make great slaves to chaos.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15684602
obviously with heaving helpings of TZEENTCH and/or SLAANESH

rolled 81 = 81

KILL THE BITCH WITH A FLYING KICK!

rolled 20 = 20

>>15684605

Seconding the idea for Kharn to come out and play.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15684560
This, plus
"By the way, have you had the pleasure of meeting my Sonaughter, Nodabba, yet?"
Cue Nodabba.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15684525

We should seriously get to use this roll, OP.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15684578

You are the hero this quest needs, seconded.

>>15684593
...yes.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15684614
FUCKING CUNTBADGER DICE! I NEED TZEENTH OR SLAANESH YOU FUCKSTICK

rolled 65 = 65

>>15684578
Oh Chaos Gods, get up in this bitch and bless this roll!

rolled 66 = 66

>>15684578

I second the motion.

rolled 37 = 37

>>15684627
>87
>65

The dice gods are laughing at us.

rolled 62 = 62

>>15684665

YEEEEEEEEEES LONG LIVE SLAANESH!

rolled 14 = 14

>>15684665

FUCKING THERE WE GO!

rolled 25 = 25

>>15684665
slaanesh you crafty bastard

>>15684665

aaaaaand THERE we go. Nicely done.

rolled 82 = 82

demand a dreadnought be launched in a Dredclaw (for those of you who don't know what a Dreadclaw is, It's the CSM equivalent to a drop pod) right on top of her

rolled 98 = 98

>>15684674
only at you

rolled 50 = 50

>>15684674

YEEEEEES! YEEEEEHHHHHHHEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

>>15684674

Did you miss the rolls immediately after those two though?
>88
>66

I don't know what the fuck is up with /tg/ dice tonight, but it's a little unnerving.

rolled 49 = 49

>>15684665

>>15684707

Happened like 3-4 times last episode, OP just ignores them and goes GODAMIT

interrupt her with a bolt in between the eyes

rolled 63 = 63

>>15684665
HAIL SLANEESH!!!

rolled 91 = 91

>>15684755
forgot to roll

rolled 16 = 16

We need a wall tell them physicers to get thier shit into gear and summon some plague bearers

>>15684759

rolled 61 = 61

>>15684665
THAT'S A BINGO!

rolled 96 = 96

Did someone say....

SLAAAANEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!!!!?

rolled 28 = 28

>>15684567
then dance, DANCE!
LET THEM LOOK UPON YOUR GRACEFUL FEET OF FLAMES AND WEEP, CRY THEY SHALL!l

rolled 52 = 52

>>15684665

rolled 54 = 54

OP! I SUMMON THEE!

>>15684665
You tell the Seer that you are Ezekyle Abaddon, Abaddon the Despoiler, the Warmaster of Chaos, Son of Horus, leader of the Black Legion, former First Captain, ex-Full Moon of the Mournival, Lord of Arms, the King of Chaos, Duke of Destruction,Master Betty and 275-points of Melee Rape.

*WELL THAT'S CERTAINLY A LOT OF NAMES.* the Eldar witch says *I SUPPOSE YOU HAD TO MAKE HALF OF THOSE UP YOURSELF?*

As she speaks you tune into the vox channel and tell Ahriman to get him and his sorcerers here. "Very well Abaddon..." you can hear him say weakly.

You then attempt to contact Noddaba using Sindri's sorcerous powers. However, you seem to be unable to reach him for some reason.

You turn back to the Seer and state your name and titles once more, just in case she forgot. Before she can respond, you give the order to fire on her retinue.

Your champions open fire. A couple of the elite warriors are cut down by the sudden bolter rounds, although one reacts by blasting one of the firing champions with a heavy beam weapon of some sort, slices his body in half.

The Seer quickly forms a psychic barrier in front of her squad. The bolter rounds drop onto the ground harmlessly as they pass through. She smirks.

*MY TURN.*

The Seer pushes the barrier forward, slamming you and the council with a psychic wave and knocking the group down. As you look back, you see the elite warriors readying their heavy weapons to fire and the Seer preparing another spell.

(Well, I've gotta sign off now. Will continue the day after tomorrow.)

rolled 5 = 5

Goddamnit, we got abandoned by OP.

rolled 19 = 19

>>15684853

SCREAM FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AS LOUD AS YOU CAN USING SLAANESH'S POWER TO TEAR HER APART FROM THE INSIDE OUT WITH SONIC VIBRATIONS!

rolled 19 = 19

We need a way of pleasing every chaos god

give that Bitch one good dicking, after you kill some, stick some mines on one with a trigger and tell him to run and blow up any up and coming squades(have a plan). and leave one unharmed wishing he had died almost suicidal for despair.

and the thread dies

rolled 25 = 25

>>15684853

We give the bitch the thrashing of her life, but leave her alive. She's far more valuable to us as a pawn in our campaign to further corrupt her kind.

But I suppose the fight will have to wait until the next session.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15684851
>>15684853

THIS IS SORCERY!

rolled 70 = 70

GODDAMIT!

WAITING A WHOLE 'NOTHER DAY IS-
UNACCEPTABLE

ARCHIVE HERE

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15681044/

rolled 21 = 21

>>15684853
I call you to single combat fancy dressed Whore!
Winner Take All, Loser has their Seers Raped and/or Gently loved!

>>15684899
>implying rape isn't Khorne's idea of gentle love