rolled 90 = 90

Look for your arms.

>>15590039
You already have arms, numbnuts!

rolled 42 = 42

CALL FOR ANOTHER BLACK CRUSADE

rolled 43 = 43

Quickly retrieve arms from the safe.

>>15590039
>>15590049
I saw this coming and am sad that I didn't get a chance to post it first.

rolled 6 = 6

I shout, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY ARRRMMMSSS?!"

rolled 34 = 34

Praise whichever Dark God takes your fancy today.

>>15590039
You look down in horror and realize you do not have arms. You frantically look around the throneroom trying to spot them, but they cannot be seen.

One of the Justaerin looks up. "Is something wrong, my lord?" he asks

CREEEEEEEEEED!!!!

>>15590086
YES THERE'S A FUCKING PROBLEM
I HAVE NO ARMS DUMBFUCK

rolled 40 = 40

Seek the blessing of the Dark Gods so they may help you find your arms again. Or at least give you new mutated ones.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15590086
Berserker rage, screaming WHERE ARE MY ARMS?!?!??!?!

kill everything here.

rolled 64 = 64

>>15590086
Kill the termie and take his arms.

rolled 80 = 80

Bitch slap him and shout, "FIND ME MY FUCKING ARMS, BITCH!"

rolled 72 = 72

Right, time for another crusade... but this time it has to be something Creed would never expect. This time... I'm going to crusade on my own.
"Slave! Fetch me my prosthetic limbs!"

>>15590118
You slap the terminator elite across his head with your right stub and scream at him to find your arms.

"Alright, alright! Just don't go all Angron-like on my ass!" the terminator says.

The Justaerin leave the throneroom, leaving you alone. What do you do?

rolled 20 = 20

>>15590151
ENTER SANCTUM
GET WARGEAR

rolled 71 = 71

Look for an Iron Warriors Warsmith or a Heretek or something who will give you temporary artificial arms.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15590151
Masturbate.

rolled 43 = 43

>>15590173

How would...I don't even...

Anyways look for bionic arms.

rolled 52 = 52

>>15590173
You have no arms!
Pay attention.
Summon daemonettes, fuck them.

>>15590170
You exit your throneroom and head towards the armoury, where there's bound to be some chaos tech-adepts.

You enter the armoury and find an Iron Warrior polishing a meltagun in his lap. He frantically puts it away as you enter and faces you.

"Y-yes, Lord Abaddon? What is it you wish?"

rolled 62 = 62

>>15590231
Kill him, take arms.

rolled 9 = 9

Construct a set of arms capable of crushing Cadia!

rolled 98 = 98

>>15590231
Tell him to stop thinking about fucking his meltagun and find you some arms.

rolled 67 = 67

>>15590231
ARMS. YOU NEED ARMS. A LOT OF ARMS. LIKE 500 ARMS. JUST IN CASE THEY FALL OFF AGAIN.

Tell him to graft as many arms as he can onto you. If he runs out of mechanical arms, he's authorized to rip them from other people.

>>15590257
You scold the Son of Perturabo, disgusted and angered by his melta boner, and tell him to get you arms.

"Yes, lord. I'm sorry, lord." he says before walking off

He returns to you with a pair of massive bionic arms. They're make from the best materials and large enough to work with terminator armour.

The Iron Warrior fits the arms onto your stubs. What now?

rolled 74 = 74

>>15590297
Go to your sanctum and grab some wargear.

rolled 38 = 38

>>15590297
Now masturbate.

If roll is 66, I will laugh.

rolled 3 = 3

>>15590297
Not enough. We need more arms. Cadia will fall before us, if we can get a few thousand arms grafted on us.

Tell the Iron Warrior to graft two more arms on your elbows, and then two more arms on those arms' elbows and so on until you have massive centipede-like arms each wielding an equally deadly weapon. You also need similar "linked arms" on your shoulder blades and crotch (your penis is worthless anyway.)

>>15590297

rolled 44 = 44

>>15590356
rolling for this.

rolled 42 = 42

Gather your techmarines and adepts and tell them to spam the mechanicum com nodes with ascii horsecock

>>15590318
Now that you have arms, you leave the armoury and head off to your sanctum so that you may retrieve your wargear.

You stride into the throneroom and enter your inner sanctum behind the throne. In the center is a table shaped like an eight-pointed star with religious items and papers scattered over top. To your left is a chest containing your personal items and on the right lies the Talon of Horus and Drach'nyen.

You take both weapons in your hands. What now?

rolled 98 = 98

>>15590434
>To your left is a chest containing your personal items
>personal items
SEARCH IT. This should be lulzy

rolled 41 = 41

>>15590434
Test sharpness on nearby whoevers.

>>15590447

>>15590447
You pry open the chest and look upon it's contents. One item is the skull of your very first kill, an Ork with a bolter shot right through the eye. You were so proud when you showed it off to your fellow brothers.

You also find several pictures, including one of the entire Mournival (you, Loken, Torgaddon and Aximand) in a group shot before dropping into combat, all smiling. How you miss them at times.

You find several more items, including a ceramite shard from Horus' armour, an odd shaped long relic of Slaaneshi you never learned the purpose off, and a postcard of Kharn butchering several Tallarn troopers with "WISH YOU WERE HERE" written in blood. What a great guy.

What now?

rolled 31 = 31

Go phone your pal Magnus.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15590547
>an odd shaped long relic of Slaaneshi you never learned the purpose off
Jerk off to shard of Horus armour with it.

rolled 91 = 91

>>15590564
>>15590173
>>15590366
>>15590339
WHY SO SLAANESHI?
Rolling for Black Crusade goodness.

rolled 55 = 55

>>15590564
But Abaddon hates Horus!

>>15590575
You decide it's about damn time you got another Black Crusade started. However, like all crusades you'll need to rally a massive force of chaos' servants and convince them to fight under your banner. How do you plan to gather your Crusading force?

rolled 47 = 47

>>15590650
>get Kharn
>point Kharn to Cadia
>profit, no ??? necessary

rolled 19 = 19

>>15590650
Have every vessel at your command bombard every known planet with "EMPRAH IS GHEY" flyers

rolled 40 = 40

>>15590650
Get the Daemon Primarchs and Doombreed involved.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15590650
Tell the other champions you're giving out ice cream to anyone who joins up.

rolled 86 = 86

>>15590670
rollin for this

rolled 69 = 69

>>15590650
Get Eliphas. Tell him to summon a fuckton of daemons.

rolled 25 = 25

Revive Araghast the Pillager.

rolled 21 = 21

>>15590650
Promise the other legions there will be people to kill/people to infect/schemes to form/bitches to rape/loyalists to convert/people to scare/cool guns to steal/Ultramarines to troll.

>>15590662
>>15590650
Cadia? No. Just no. What we need to do is find a way to get AROUND Cadia altogether. Fuck Cadia.

In fact, what we should do is make it SEEM like we ARE going to straight through Cadia, and while everyone is at Cadia trying to head us off, we've gone and raped several systems behind thier backs. This is just a tactic I think we should try to use. We should also look back and see what we haven't done before when leading a Black Crusade.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15590726
The Cadian System is essentially the only way to get large amounts of troops out of the Eye of Terror. Also it holds sentimental value for the Chaos Legions, as it is where Lorgar became the first heretic.

>>15590688
You plan to spread the word of Chaos to as many worlds as possible to gain force for the crusade. You order Eliphas over the vox to ready some Chaos propaganda. As a Word Bearer Apostle he would have experience with spreading Chaos.

Eliphas and his servants are working on their flyers.What do you do while you wait for them to finish creating enough to distribute to every planet?

rolled 44 = 44

>>15590806
Sent invitations to all major warband leaders. Tell them it's for Kharn's birthday or something.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15590806
Kill some servants.

>>15590806
Fuck invading cadia. Virus bomb it. 10 times the amount needed to kill a planet. Then blast it with nukes. The let the world eaters rage fuck it.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15590806

Test your bionic arms on your sorcerers.

rolled 69 = 69

>>15590806
have a fancy tea party with ahriman, luscius and kharn

rolled 57 = 57

>>15590863
fail roll. hangs head

rolled 5 = 5

>>15590806
Have Planet Killer blow up the nearest subsector for lulz.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15590806
Test your bionic arms on some daemonettes.

rolled 26 = 26

>>15590806
Visit Eliphas as he works and annoy him.

>>15590892
You have three daemonettes summoned to your throneroom. The servants of Slaanesh enter, scantily clad and seductive. The three approach you and lay their bodies on your armour, saying you may do whatever you wish to them.

You grab the first daemonette and crush her head until the bursts. The other, stunned with shock, you grab with your left arm and choke the death. As you do so the other tries to flee but you grab her by the leg. Once your done choking a bitch you grab the final daemonette, lift her into the air and rip her into two halves with your metal arms.

Test done. They seem to be working well.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15590978
EAT THE CORPSES

rolled 5 = 5

>>15590978
Carve the mark of Khorne onto their bodies.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15590978
Asks Eliphas for a status update. If he hasn't finished several million flyers in the minute it took to kill those daemonettes...

rolled 34 = 34

>>15590978

Gather your legion and prepare a puppet show with the daemonettes corpses, everyone must attend

rolled 5 = 5

>>15590978
Send the daemonette bodies to Kharn as a gift/snack.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15590978
RAPE

rolled 43 = 43

>>15590994
YES

>>15591023
As the daemonette corpses lie upon the ground, spread out and glistening with blood, you can't help but feel a powerful temptation. The thoughts of desires of Slaanesh and violence from Khorne take you, and you precede to test your arms on the deceased daemonettes in a different way...

After five minutes of dark deeds that make the Emperor cry, you are finished "testing" on the daemonettes.

What now?

rolled 84 = 84

>>15591075
inform the men, that I abaddon, has made it with a woman

rolled 64 = 64

>>15591075
DISPOSE OF THE BODIES

>>15591075
>why boner?

rolled 88 = 88

>>15591075
Set the corpses on fire and roast marshmallows over them

>>15591091
You tune your vox unit to all channels and precede to speak. You inform all marines and heretics aboard the ship that you just raped a dead daemonette trio.

Most of the men have a mix of disgusted and awkward tones as they "congratulate" you. Except the Slaaneshi followers, who whoop and cheer, and one Khornaet who says "HAHA SERVES THOSE FUCKING BITCHES RIGHT!'

What now, glorious Warmaster/playa?

rolled 37 = 37

>>15591190
Put on that Talon of Horus.

rolled 66 = 66

>>15591190
Stroll through the ship. Collect respect knuckles from the Slaanesh dudes.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15591190
Call Ahriman, invite him to Crusade.

>>15591222
>66
Fuck year.

>>15591185
wow Khorne blesses this destruction
>>15591222
and apparently all of the hubbub has piqued slaaneshes interest

>>15591222
You exit the throneroom (but not before burning the corpses) and take a walk through the ship halls. As you do, various Slaaneshi cultists and astartes walk up to and give you high fives or bro-fists. You soon have a gang of Slaaneshi warriors following you, making offers to have their "rear armour penetrated" by you.

What now, Warmaster?

rolled 85 = 85

>>15591329
Call for a hardcore party.

rolled 46 = 46

Ask Eliphas if hes done with the flyers

If he's not done, yell at him
If he is done, yell at him

Also check if your arms are still there

rolled 4 = 4

>>15591329
Kill them all.

rolled 91 = 91

Check to see if we caught an STD; at this rate, we might be able to unite three gods together in one act of debauchery!

rolled 95 = 95

Call the other champions.

rolled 60 = 60

>>15591329
TAP THEM LIKE THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD.

>>15591385
You decide that it's about time you rallied the other champions to your cause. Their compliance will be necessary for the Crusade to succeed.

Which champion of Chaos do you call for first?

rolled 13 = 13

>>15591442
Kharn.

rolled 53 = 53

>>15591442
Does Doombreed count as a champion?

rolled 15 = 15

>>15591442

Doomrider.

>free bokings

Indeed captcha.

Kharn

rolled 64 = 64

>>15591442
Alpharius

rolled 20 = 20

>>15591509

Don't you mean Omegon?

rolled 74 = 74

Ahriman.

rolled 48 = 48

Angron, or if hes busy raging or being banished Khârn

Also send an invite to Calgar for shits and giggles, include one of the daemonettes faces in it and a selfdrawn dickbutt

rolled 4 = 4

KHARN

rolled 89 = 89

Kharn, I hear he's a pretty cool guy.

rolled 43 = 43

Ahriman.

>>15591517
You decide to call up Ahriman first. You gather forth your sorcerers and soon establish a connect with the Thousand Sons Champion.

"Ah Abaddon. What is it you wish you speak to me about? Nothing important or of value, I assume. Do you need my consul? Did you forget where your arms are and require me to find them again?"

rolled 38 = 38

>>15591600

Steal Ahrimans arms through psychic link

rolled 62 = 62

Fools! If you summon Kharn first he'll have time to get bored! the same goes for Doomrider though he'll probably get distracted instead.

Summon Typhus first.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15591600
Give him the finger with metal arm.

rolled 81 = 81

>>15591600
"we're doing another crusade might pass by the eldar black libary...wait you know where my original arms are?"

rolled 57 = 57

>>15591600
Give him our ass as a peace offering. Tell him he can tap that if he joins our cause.

>>15591600
Insult Ahriman, call him a no-pants willyknicker.
Then inform him of your recent escapades, and tell him you're on Cadia.

Serves that nerd right.

rolled 31 = 31

>>15591643
Bah, roll fail.

rolled 89 = 89

"You know where my actual arms are? Why the fuck have you not informed me of this?!" then shout "CREEEEEEED!"

>>15591626
"Oh how innovative you are Abaddon. Truly, Chaos' greatest warmaster is a pinnacle of creativity." he says "And perhaps I do know where you arms are, but what was that you said about the Black Library? Let's talk about that..."

rolled 59 = 59

That's not why I'm calling, Ahriman.
Get your dustbins together, we're going to cadia!

rolled 41 = 41

>>15591672
Offer him your Slaaneshi bros as thralls in exchange for his allegiance.

rolled 7 = 7

"Tell me where my arms are or I have Planet Killer fire on the Black Library."

rolled 32 = 32

"If you don't shut up you'll see the black EYEbary! Now get your ass here"

Also let one of your astropaths send a letter to Calgar saying that you have a crush on him

rolled 57 = 57

>>15591672
Oh, we will, we will. But first, the location of my arms.

rolled 91 = 91

"Look, arms are nice and all, but do you know what I really would like? MY FUCKING ARMS! Get to it Skippy, where are they?!

>>15591707
"Yeah? Why the fuck should I bother? You're just going to screw up again because your an incompetent idiot and lose your entire armada to one Cadian general and his flashlight-armed easy-break soldiers."

>>15591748
Their stuck up slannishes butthole.

>>15590031
I suggest Abbadon commands his mighty legion to assault the Holy Terra and destroy the Empra.

CMOOONNN BIG MONEY

>>15591801
Damnit, dice y u no roll.

rolled 25 = 25

Ah, capital D. Case-sensitivity bullshit be damned, I want to destroy the Holy Terra.

rolled 24 = 24

>>15591774
"Yeah? Well fuck you too, buddy!"
Then hang up on his ass.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15591774
We're going back in time to Tanith. Going to take all the wood and PROFIT! All proceeds will go to Chaos, of course.

>>15591830
>99
>Ahriman
>time travel

rolled 29 = 29

>>15591774
"Because I'm the fucking Warmaster you better listen to me or I have the Alpha legion place you paralyzed in the Chapel of an Ultramarines Vessel where you have to endure their shit for the rest of your life"

rolled 80 = 80

>>15591774
Okay Ahriman, we all know you're still buttangry about what happened at Fenris. I have fancy new arms, I can take on anyone!

rolled 64 = 64

>>15591830
We will then disguise ourselves and build all the worlds out of the wood.
THEN WE SHALL REIGN CHAOS ON THE SECOND STORY OF ALL THOSE BUILDINGS!

>>15591830

rolled 8 = 8

>>15591891
We will go at twilight, the most evil and unholy hour of the cycle.

"Time travel?" Ahriman appears intrigued by your offer "Hm...yes, if enough sorcery was sued to bend the warp properly...You have a deal Abaddon. When will we begin our trip through time?"

rolled 96 = 96

>>15591891

NOW

rolled 21 = 21

>>15591903
Right now...Unless you're a pussy.

rolled 83 = 83

Where did OP's post go?

We will go at twilight, the most evil and unholy hour of the cycle.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15591891

"JUST AS SOON AS I CAN FIND THIS FOPPISH CUNT CALLED THE CHIRURGEON OR SOME SHIT"

>>15591909

Bro fucking fist

rolled 42 = 42

>>15591891
"Thirty five minutes ago."

rolled 59 = 59

>>15591909
Here can I change my text to >>15591920?

rolled 55 = 55

>>15591903
Once we gather more champions of the Ruinous Powers.

rolled 32 = 32

We must gather the others, we will make the universe a desolate waste for chaos to frolic through.

>>15591909
Ahriman nods. "Very well. I shall prepare my cabal to twist the warp. The process will be extremely difficult and must be done without any flaw."

Ahriman breaks off the psychic link. Suddenly Eliphas comes in over the vox.

"Uh...Lord Abaddon? We don't have enough paper to produce 10 trillion flyers."

rolled 38 = 38

>>15591973
"Oh, don't worry. Soon we'll have enough wood to make all the paper we'll need."

>>15591973
Call Kharn and send him to skullfuck Eliphas before meeting up for the Crusade.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15591973
We will soon, Babe. Just give it "time".

rolled 96 = 96

Skin people, use their skin as paper

Also bring me a feather, I got plans with Ahriman

rolled 54 = 54

>>15591982
THIS

>>15591986
You can hear Eliphas shouting "ALRIGHT BROTHERS, YOU HEARD THE BOSS! SKIN THE SLAVES AND WRITE ON THEIR SKIN! And very well Abaddon, I will send a serf with a feather shortly."

Eliphas turns off his vox. Your sorcerers ask if you wish to call any other champion.

rolled 43 = 43

>>15592011
Yes.
Kharn.

rolled 17 = 17

>>15592011
SSSSSIIIINNNNDDDRRRRIIIII.

Or Chaos Dinobot Incarnate.

rolled 36 = 36

Rolling Sindri and Bale again.

rolled 35 = 35

>>15592011
Call them all! We're going to throw a party, the likes of which the universe has never seen! There will even be party favors.

rolled 87 = 87

SINDRI AND BALE GO.

rolled 59 = 59

We are only getting Kharn. Sindri and Bale's invitations got lost in the warp.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15592063
My 87 says otherwise.

rolled 43 = 43

>>15592068
They got lost, dammit!

>>15592058
You want to call Sindri and Bale, but your sorcerers remind you that both of them are dead.

rolled 27 = 27

Fine, they got their invitations, but would rather not go.

rolled 10 = 10

>>15592079
Typhus

rolled 73 = 73

>>15592079
They were brought back from the warp to receive their invitations obviously.

Actually, because Sindri ascended to Daemonhood, he can't technically be killed, his essence would just be scattered in the void.

Sindri's back baby. Bale is optional.

i'M diggin' this quest so hard my mechadendrites are stiff.

rolled 44 = 44

Lucius the Eternal. Compare necrophilia experiences.

>>15592104
Remembering that Sindri is a daemon, you ask one of the sorcerers to try and form a link with him.

You eventually managed to contact Sindri's essence in the warp, although almost all the sorcerers in the room are dead.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MORTAL?"

rolled 44 = 44

Kharn, we are going back in TIME! He could face the ultimate challange, KILLING HIMSELF IN COMBAT!

rolled 13 = 13

>>15592146
We want to party like it's the 21st millennium!

rolled 28 = 28

>>15592146
"Don't you refer to me as mortal! I am the greatest champion of Chaos since the Primarchs themselves!"

rolled 29 = 29

>>15592146
Tell him to possess your last sorcerer.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15592146
Tell him to ask that again...in his sexy voice.

>>15592219
>99

This is gonna be goood!

>>15592219

rolled 52 = 52

>>15592219
DEAR GOD THIS THREAD

>>15592219
Tzeentch blesses your words as they are spoken, and so the daemon's essence listens and obeys.

Sindri speaks, his tone low and seductive. "What do you want from me, mortal?" he asks. His voice sounds like Slaaneshi dick massaging your ears.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15592282

PUNCH HIM IN THE SNOUT TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY.

rolled 75 = 75

>>15592282
"Black Crusade. You coming, bro?"

rolled 89 = 89

>>15592282
Sacrifice a sorcerer to bring him back to life.
Or something.

1d100
open a chaos storm on or next to earth, invade

rolled 45 = 45

>>15592282
Tell him you want to tongue punch his fart box. And if he's still able, go back in time with you to do bad, bad things.

rolled 13 = 13

>>15592282
I'm gathering the most powerful of Chaos Champions on yet another Black Crusade. However, this time things are different. Ahzek Ahriman is tearing a whole in time as we speak and we shall claim Tanith in the name of the ruinous powers.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15592317
THIS

rolled 37 = 37

>>15592353
Dear God.

>>15592306
Wishing to bring the daemon Sindri out of the warp you decide to sacrifice one of your few remaining sorcerers. You point towards one of the psykers and order the other sorcerers to bind him in place.

How do you now bring Sindri back from the warp?

rolled 92 = 92

>>15592358

PULL HIM THROUGH YOURSELF.

rolled 76 = 76

>>15592358
DAEMONHOST

rolled 11 = 11

>>15592364
I cannot contain the badassery.

rolled 40 = 40

>>15592364
FUCK YES!

rolled 43 = 43

>>15592358
Bending over and feeling the Warp overtaking you, of course.

>>15592364
You forget about the sacrifice and decide to rip Sindri out of the warp yourself. You push your arm into the tear in the immaterium and clench onto the daemon.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET GO!" Sindri yells and sends a psycic blast across your arm.

You can see the metal of your arm twisting and bits breaking off from it as you try to pull the daemon out.

What do you do now?

rolled 63 = 63

>>15592439
Jump into the warp and beat his ass.

rolled 23 = 23

>>15592439

STAY THE COURSE, PRY THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT. HORUS WOULD BE PROUD.

"SSSSSSSSSSINDRIIIIIIIIIIIIII"

rolled 79 = 79

>>15592439
Use the other arm.

rolled 48 = 48

>>15592454
BRILLIANT!

rolled 39 = 39

>>15592464
>>15592454
>>15592450
>>15592449

>>15592454
You switch arms, quickly grabbing onto the daemon with one then pulling the other out from the warp. Sindri is getting closer now, but your warp-exposed arm is being damaged, it's metal ripping and peeling slowly.

"LET ME GO YOU FOOL! " Sindri shouts "I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

rolled 8 = 8

>>15592510
My boner says otherwise. Get on my dick, sweet thang.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15592510
Bring the other arm back.
Punch him in the face with it.
The drag his ass out.

rolled 5 = 5

>>15592510

THAT ARM BETTER START PEELING FASTER, BECAUSE THIS RAPETRAIN HAS NO BRAKES.

Just pull the fucker out. We'll bop him one once we'redone.

rolled 46 = 46

>>15592510
Poke your head through the warp and attempt to drag him in with your mouth.

rolled 89 = 89

>>15592525
This roll was blessed. It must come to pass.

rolled 8 = 8

>>15592525
Wow. Tzeentch really like Abaddon.

>>15592525
Suddenly you feel the powers of Tzeentch bless you and fill your body. Your damaged arm becomes is brimming with warp energy.

You bring it around, swinging it straight into the immaterium tear. The metal fist goes through straight through and smashes into Sindri. A burst of burning energy slams into him and he screams.

With your other arm your pull the daemon's essence out of the tear and dragged it into the materium. A daemonlike wisp now stands before you.

rolled 57 = 57

>>15592585
Tell him to get into the binded sorcerer's body.

Like a boss.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15592585

Infuse it with your RIGHT ARM.

>>15592525
>>15592473
>>15592450
the combination of all these post..

I'm lolling so hard.

>an average day in the eye of terror

>>15592593
oh jesus what does this even mean.

rolled 74 = 74

>>15592593

How do I roll?

>>15592610
Type: Dice+(insert number of dice here)d(insert dice sides here)

rolled 94 = 94

>>15592610
dice+1d100 into email field.

rolled 84 = 84

>>15592593

>>15592593
You grasp the daemon soul with your metal arm, still having of Tzeentch's power within it. You order the sorcerers to bind the daemon to your arm.

The comply, and Sindri's essence is quickly infused into your bionic arm. You feel the warp overtaking it, it is a good feeling.

"WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!" Sindri shouts

rolled 32 = 32

>>15592655

"YOU ARE MINE."

Kill the nearest motherfucker with you fearsome tool.

rolled 73 = 73

>>15592655
Call in a team of Dark Mechanicus to repair your bionic arms.

rolled 93 = 93

>>15592655
"It's time to fap Sindri."

We use the arm.

>>15592655
Blow kiss to Sindri and proceed with summoning champions. We want Lucius to roll with us through time.

>>15592655
"I... Don't... know..."

hopefully this will help in our time travel shenanigans

rolled 42 = 42

>>15592680

>>15592680
i think slaanesh AND tzeentch are enjoying this.

no wonder abaddon is still commander, the 4 must really enjoy his antics.

rolled 59 = 59

SUDDENLY GAV THE OGRYN SHOWS UP AND FUCKS ALL YOUR SHIT UP, FOR THE EMPRAH

rolled 64 = 64

Abbadon and Ahrimans Excellent Adventure.

Time to time travel.

Did OP beb?

;_;

rolled 92 = 92

>>15592680
I hope he's just waiting for a (more) serious answer then this to beat 93

you guys are making my fucking day

rolled 57 = 57

>>15592966
on that note
>>15592655
Say that we're using him to give us powers and that we can destroy him at any time because its a bionic arm

rolled 99 = 99

Brofist a Slaaneshi. In the chest.

rolled 35 = 35

Call in some Dark Mechanicus so that the damage done to the mecha-arms is repaired.

rolled 51 = 51

Go back to your quarters and equip the Talon of Horus.

>>15592680
(sorry I was gone, needed to have dinner though)

You remove the armoured codpiece from your terminator suit.

"WHAT ARE YO DOING?!" Sindri shouts "WHAT'S HAPPENING? NO! OH GODS, NO! STOP! NOOOOOOOO!!!"

After a while you are finished and put you codpiece back on. Sindri's soul is now forever scared. If a daemon-possessed bionic arm was capable of crying this would be the time it would. Slaanesh, however, is extremely pleased by this action.

The sorcerers meanwhile have been backing away from you as you committed your heresy and are hiding in the corners.

What do you do?

OP had a heart attack doing coke with Doomrider

>>15593049
>DOUBLE HERESY

I'M ARCHIVING THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15590031/

>>15592997
>>15592525
>>15592219
>>15591830
Tzeentch clearly approves of this quest.

rolled 82 = 82

>>15593049

Using the Sindri-Infused Claw, wave your great arm through the air and tear open a portal to the Tallarn of the past then and there.

rolled 100 = 100

Blow kiss to Sindri and proceed with summoning champions. We want Lucius to roll with us through time with Ahriman.

rolled 92 = 92

>>15593049
Call in Dark Mechanicus to repair what was done to your Bionic Arms. Sindri put up a nasty fight.

>>15592680

This is the best day ever.

rolled 47 = 47

>>15593085
THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN WRITTEN!

>>15593085
Raising your possessed arm to your mouth, you place a kiss on Sidnri, then blowing between his metallic fingertips. The bound daemon let out a psychic scream.

You get the terrified sorcerer back together and have them form a link with another champion, this time Lucius. Soon the psychic bond is established.

"Greetings Abaddon." the swordsman of Slaanesh says "What is it you call me for?"

rolled 15 = 15

>>15593169
"You. Me. Here. Now."

rolled 3 = 3

>>15593169

"I JUST DRAGGED SINDRI OUT OF THE WARP BY MYSELF AND STUCK HIM IN ONE OF MY ARMS. TERRIBLE THINGS HAVE BEEN DONE SINCE THEN. SLAANESH IS PLEASED."

"GETTING TO THE POINT, I WANT YOU TO COME FUCK THE GALAXY WITH THE OTHER CHAMPIONS. FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE."

>>15593169
Cocain and time travel.

rolled 94 = 94

>>15593169
Chat with him a bit about painting nails and then strike the Black Crusade topic. Invite him to join timespace voyage.

THIS THREAD THIS FUCKING THREAD OMYGOD I'M IN STITCHES AND TEARS

CONTINUE! I AM ENTERTAINED

rolled 75 = 75

>>15593169

IT'S CRUSADE TIME, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND LET'S GO.

rolled 12 = 12

>>15593213
Man, not having a good day. noko+dice works, right?

>>15593214
You noticing that Lucius has painted all the nails on his left hand. Flattered by you noticing, the two of you have a little chat about painting nails and thanks to Lucius you learn some interesting nail colouring techniques.

Once you're done you invite him to join you on your Black Time Travel Crusade. "Very well, Abaddon. I shall look forward to this venture."

Lucius ends the link. The sorcerers ask if there's any more champions you wish to rally.

rolled 65 = 65

>>15593296
Typhus.

rolled 75 = 75

Posting in a fucking legendary thread.

You guys make Abbadon badass enough to fuck the Emperor in the ass. Twice daily.

>>15593296
Also, we wish to call for Typhus,threatening him to do the very same thing we did to Sindri to HIM if he won't assault our new Black Crusade

rolled 23 = 23

>>15593296
Get Typhus, call him a fat fuck

rolled 24 = 24

>>15593310
AND kharn! We have a Slaneeshi on board, a Tzeentchian under "chains". We need a Nurglite and a Khornate (who's a pretty cool guy) and then we'll have full undivided goodness! If they dont' get along, we tell them "team up this once to fuck up the Imperium, you KNOW you want to. after that, we can all have a battle royale!" or somesuch, I can't brain today.

>>15593333

* assist, that is. Can't have Nurgle hampering with our Crusade,can we?

rolled 54 = 54

>>15593296
"Such badassery cannot go without Kharn."
Call the sorcerers out from hiding and instruct them to get the Betrayer on the line.

we need fabulous bile! ignite the clone forges we need more grunts

rolled 7 = 7

>>15593296
we must get nurgles blessing, he is the only god that hasn't blessed us yet.

contact typhus perhaps we this will please nurgle

>You are Ezekyle Abaddon.

Abaddon's first name is Easy Kyle?

>>15593333
You have the sorcerers form a link with Typhus. The psychic bond is quickly established with the Herald of Nurgle.

"What do you want, Abaddon?" spoke the bloated warrior, his voice rasping "I was in the middle of feeding my kitties."

>>15593385
Yes.

rolled 44 = 44

Drink some space poison because you have already honoured Tzeentch with your scheming, honored Khorne by killing the Daemonettes, and honored Slaanesh in ways I do not wish to remember. Then call Typhus.

rolled 80 = 80

>>15593399

Compliment the man on his lovely choice of feline companions and inform him of the BLACK CRUSADE,

rolled 97 = 97

>>15593399
"I have forced demons into my arms, JOIN US IN OUR CRUSADE AGAINST TIME ITSELF"

rolled 31 = 31

>>15593399

Ask him if he wishes to spread Nurgle's plague... THROUGH TIME ITSELF! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

rolled 5 = 5

>>15593399

WE'RE GOING BACK IN TIME TO START A BLACK CRUSADE. BRING YOUR KITTIES.

rolled 61 = 61

>>15593296
Get Typhus on line, invite him offering timespacetwisteriperiumassfuck and don't forget to invite Nurglette.

>>puringi fections indeed captcha

rolled 34 = 34

>>15593399

Tell him you're rolling through time itself with Ahriman, Eliphas, Sindri and Lucius, ask him if he wants to come to spread Nurgle's disease thru time

rolled 100 = 100

>>15593399
"Cats suck, dogs are better."

Invite him to our time-picnic.

rolled 41 = 41

>>15593455

TZEENTCH HAS SPOKEN!

>>15593455

OH SHIT TYRONE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

>>15593399

"Typhus..there are more kittens in the universe than those you possess - and they NEED your help.

They all are caged, tortured and often enough eaten by the inhabitants of the puny Imperium, babarians, that can neither see the beauty in an Abscess, nor in a playfull small cat.

Do YOU want them to suffer,Typhus?
Can't YOU hear their desperate pleads for help to Grandfather Nurgle?

Aid my on my dark crusade, and I shall forge a planet which will look equal to the gardens of Nurgle, a place for kittens and all other childrens of the Grandpather to play and relax in seas of pus and vomit."

rolled 97 = 97

>>15593455
LIKE A BOSS

rolled 44 = 44

>>15593455

THE BANNER OF THIS BLACK CRUSADE MUST HAVE CERBERUS ON IT!

>>15593455
Typhus is insulted by your statement. "How DARE you! Kitties are the cutest and fuzziest and nicest, not like those mean dogs who just bark and try to bite me." he says "If you want me to join you on yet another Crusade then you'll have to take what you said about kitties back."

>>15593489

[[Coffeine needed]]

rolled 1 = 1

>>15593499

Let out a long sigh and proceed to compliment the man on his feline companions, then reiterate the need for more glorious champions on this SPACEQUEST.

rolled 35 = 35

>>15593499

Tell him to go fuck himself.

Revive Araghast the Pillager.

rolled 58 = 58

"I tore a Daemon Prince out of the Warp and bound him to my arm alone. If you refuse I shall personally slay you."

rolled 71 = 71

>>15593499
"Man ,fuck kitties, come with me to the picnic and I will make sure you get,like, a PLANET with felines."

rolled 24 = 24

>>15593499

"Typhus, if there was a dog that'd willingly bite your pus-encrusted arse, I would be calling it instead of you."

rolled 2 = 2

>>15593499

Tell him to deal with it, you're the great despoiler and you just forced a demon into your hand with your bare darth vader like mechanical hands, then used it to masturbate.

He will join the Black Crusade, or you will murder his kittens

rolled 59 = 59

>>15593499

PERHAPS YOUR KITTENS CAN PROVE THEMSELVES IN WAR?

rolled 24 = 24

>>15593499
Tell him to man the fuck up, and join the fucking crusade.

plus kitties are old and busted, Ponies are superior. Nurgle wills it.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15593499
Tell you what. You come with me and I'll let my Hereteks build you a little robot-kitty infused with Sindris soul. How about that?

rolled 29 = 29

>>15593499
>No
Proceed to tear open the warp and pull his fat, putrid ass through. Then force him to crusade. Have Sindri-arm inform him of what will happen if he does not.

rolled 72 = 72

>>15593499

Tell him to deal with it, and that if he doesn't come you're going to kill his cats and get Ulkair instead to representate Nurgle.

rolled 58 = 58

>>15593532
Yeah, humiliate that poor guy further, why don't you?

...still bump-rolling for that

rolled 42 = 42

>>15593499

Tell him that kitten care A LOT about personal hygiene and thus strictly oppose both Grandfather Nurgle and Chaos himself.

Also tell him that they are secret agents of the Imperium which have deceived him all along and call him bad names behind his back.

Promise to allow him to kill every kitten in the galaxy.

rolled 95 = 95

>>15593499
Tell him to get over it, we're going to the cat-post capital of the universe.

rolled 100 = 100

>>15593499

Tell him that if he doesn't come with you you're going to kill the cats.

rolled 63 = 63

>>15593499
>kittes
"YOU ARE NOT TYPHUS, GET ME THE REAL ONE ON THE WARP-PHONE!"

rolled 98 = 98

>>15593548
>>15593549

FUCK YES TZEENTCH

>>15593549

You..you mean bastard! (Tzeentch is pleased)

rolled 6 = 6

>>15593549
Dammit, why you gotta beat my roll by freaking 5?!

rolled 66 = 66

>>15593549

YES

>>15593521
At the promise of a kitty planet the Herald nods. "Very well then." he says somberly "I shall join you on your time picnic crusade. My plague ships shall arrive shortly."

After Typhus breaks the link another is formed. Ahriman contacts you.

"Abaddon, my cabal has been readied and my ships are nearby. I can begin the warp bending necessary for time travel whenever you wish." he says

rolled 59 = 59

>>15593499
Use Sindri-arm to bitch slap him across warp until he comes with us.

rolled 39 = 39

Bind him to our other arm, then wash that arm twice a day forever!

rolled 89 = 89

>>15593579

>not taking the highest roll

Cat loving fagget!

Tell Ahriman to wait, you still have to get Doomrider, Doombreed, Kharn and revive Araghast the Pillager

>>15593579
How long will it take?

We have to contact Kharn, it'd be a shame to leave such a swell guy out of this party

rolled 71 = 71

Before you leave, contact Pertuabo. You gonna need weapons, and a Daemon Primarch on your side wouldn't hurt too.

>>15593539
>>15593548
>>15593549
Hmm, I outta check the thread before posting next time.

rolled 30 = 30

>>15593579

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARNE."

rolled 65 = 65

>>15593598
rolling

rolled 64 = 64

>>15593579

Command him to wait, you still have more fags to call.

rolled 57 = 57

>>15593579
WE MUST GET A KHORNETTE

GET SOMEONE THATS NEAR US

rolled 47 = 47

You still have to call Angron, Kharn, revive Araghast, call Doombreed and Doomrider, tell Ahriman to sit his ass down and wait for further orders.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15593579

Ask him how far back or foward in time we can go.

rolled 8 = 8

Tell Ahriman that Typhus likes cats, proceed to mock the Herald with Ahriman as you and Ahriman bot enjoy the company of canines.

rolled 4 = 4

>>15593579
"Almost all of the champions have gathered but there is still someone, who remembers to write me post cards I will not go without." Get Kharn on the line.

>>15593595
You tell Ahriman that the Crusade will not begin yet, as you still have champions to rally.

He breaks the psychic link and your sorcerers ask who to call next.

rolled 99 = 99

Ahriman will have to wait, you still have Khran and others to call for the TIME CRUSADE

rolled 72 = 72

>>15593649

You must call Doombreed, Genghis Khan must come to the crusade! And Doomrider! Oh shit and Kharn! And Angron!

But first you gotta revive Araghast the Pillager, you need him to boss your servants around and call them lickspitles!

rolled 56 = 56

>>15593654

Fuckin' Tzeentch has spoken. Fucker's got plans.

rolled 69 = 69

Summon khornettes, Kharn and get ur ass to Ahriman.

rolled 30 = 30

>>15593649

Tell them to get Khârn on the line, no matter how much it costs. Also, look for a nice skull Khârn possibly has not in his collection yet.

>>15593654
>Kharn
>99

WHAT

rolled 10 = 10

Call Genghis Khan first, i mean, Doombreed, Araghast's revival can wait.

rolled 7 = 7

>>15593690

Deal with it

>>15593654

YES

rolled 84 = 84

Kharn is a fagget, has he killed 2 space marien chapters single handily? No, call Doombreed.

rolled 98 = 98

Tell your sorcerers to get you an army of Jokaero.

THEN call Kharn.

THEN call Doombreed.

Wow, 300+ posts already?

rolled 65 = 65

>>15593733

>98

FUCK, where's a 100 when you need it?

>>15593733
Your sorcerers give you blank stares as you give your order. "Um...really?"

>>15593768

Wth, the guy for Khârn had Khorne's blessing...bawww

>>15593768

THERE'S A 99 UP THERE MAN

A 99

FOR KHARN

rolled 31 = 31

>>15593768
OP
>>15593654

rolled 78 = 78

>>15593768
>>15593782


IT'S TOO LATE!

RALLY THE JOKAERO!

rolled 46 = 46

>>15593775

Casually answer " Yes, really".

To make things a little bit more interesting, you also call in a battaillon of Iron Warriors to "aid" the Jokaero whenever they don't feel like it.

rolled 33 = 33

>>15593768

"I HAVE SPOKEN SORCERER! RALLY THE JOKAERO! AND WHILE YOU DO THAT, CALL KHARN!"

"YOU THERE! Call Eliphas, and tell HIM to call Doombreed"

Bitch please, the Warmaster can multitask.

>>15593775
>>15593782
>>15593787
(I thought that was in response to the previous thing...but whatever)

You decide to call for Kharn. The sorcerers attempt to form a psychic link with the champion.

However, nothing happens. The sorcerers can't locate Kharn from where he was last reportedly at.

One of the sorcerers looks worried. "Hmm...this is odd." he says "Why can't we-"

Suddenly, the metal wall behind the sorcerer bursts open and a red ceramiteclad warrior jumps out, chainaxe swinging through the air. He decapitates the sorcerer.

"DON'T WORRY ABADDON!" Kharn shouts "I'LL SAVE YOU!"

rolled 83 = 83

>>15593851
Brofist him, like a boss.

rolled 29 = 29

>>15593851
"Save me from what?"

rolled 45 = 45

>>15593851

HOLD ON KHARN! I NEED THE SORCERERS TO CALL OTHER FAGS AND RALLY MY JOKAERO!

Don't worry, i'll get Eliphas to bring some Tzeentchian cultists up here for you to cut up! You in on the Black Crusade?

You know what, this thread is autosagging so I'mma go make a new one and post linkage here.

rolled 28 = 28

>>15593851

Tell him to hold his horses, he just killed one of your phones.

Ask him if he's in on the Black Crusade.

rolled 99 = 99

>>15593775

Mightily brofist Khârn which the Sindri arm (hopefully hurting him while doing so), tell him to not kill the sorcerers (for now) because you currently still needs these faggots.

Also, tell him of your TIME CRUSADE and how he could battle himself if he'd join.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15590031/
ARCHIVE IS HERE

>>15593949
GET OVER HERE