"What is this?"

Ask for Bueno guy's autograph

I'd hit it of course. !

Look away from the mirror in disgust.

>>15110649
>"What is this?"

As soon as you open your mouth, you are startled by the sound of your own voice, now a high-pitched squeak.

You manage to get out a "what" before the creature grasping your thighs opens its maw and begins to speak. The smell is pungent: a raw mix of Funyuns and shame.

"I suppose you are quite confused, young lady. But first, let us get acquainted: I am ogre, and you are...?"

>>15110682
"I am /x/-tan"

>>15110682
Shadow

>>15110690
>"/x/-tan"

You tell ogre you are "/x/-tan".

ogre is now uncomfortably close.

Come on, OP, it's not like it takes you so much time.

murder mode activate

>See thread
>Realize this is a real person with real feelings
>Feel like shit because /tg/ is a cruel bastard

Thanks /tg/... real proud to be a part of this board...

>>15110715
"Omigodomigod! are you a real ogre? A real one?"

>>15110722
>Realize this is a real person with real feelings
So? It's never stopped us before. Sorry we hold standards.

HATERS GONNA HATE, AND YOU CAN'T STOP US

>>15110682
>young lady

wonder vigorously as to why I am now female and resign to the fact that I might have to put up with lots of rape in the following days.

unless I'm a convincing trap who's convinced mr. ogre that I'm female. In that case, other options will have to be taken.

>>15110639
I can just imagine OP pic wheezing, "Hey DM... can I make my PC a loli catgirl?"

Roll for initiative.
I can't believe this hasn't been said yet.

>>15110737
It's too late, /tg/ you are now the sweet, underwear-clad, rainbow-socked paranoid little girl.

>>15110750
No, /tg/, YOU are the neckbeard ogres

>and then the PC was /x/-tan.

>>15110716
YES.

pic related, I have that model and I've finally decided how I'm going to paint it.

It shall be /x/-tan, my lovable psyker.

>>15110730
>ask about "feelings"

ogre laughs in contempt. He tells you he has abandoned all feelings for the pleasures of the flesh...but that is a long story. He yawns, indicating his obvious boredom with your query.

>>15110722
>ask about being a real ogre

ogre, spelt withe a lower-cased "o", claims to have eaten the flesh of children before. If that doesn't make him an ogre, he wants to know what would.

>>15110716
Also, you realize you look like this girl.

aww fuck it, i'll get my tablet

i'm unemployed ayway

I get raped. I enjoy it because I am a pervert.

well it looks like the ogre won't be raping my delicious paranoid vagina since he isn't interested.

but he's not going to eat me is he? I hope he doesn't know that little girls taste nice

>>15110785
Hug him and say "I knew it! I knew that ogres did real!"

better befriend him, right? I'm sure that deep down, he still has a ronery heart.

I cast magic missile at the darkness that is the ogre's soulless eyes

>>15110803
better put on your tinfoil panties, right?
>>15110793
you, draw this.

>>15110817
>tinfoil parties

huehuehuehue 7/10

bump

>>15110806
>>15110806
>"I knew it! I knew that ogres did real!"
>did real

I know /x/-tan is a bit damaged and all but seriously?

>>15110894
silly fa/tg/uy, doesn't know about how ghosts don't real.
It's something of a meme on /x/. It follows the theme of being deliberately wrong in a specific way, often to mock those that are wrong in similar ways but not on purpose. This is one of the oldest kinds of internet humour.

>>15110894
"trolls don't real"

>>15110917
>>15110913
oh

oh goddamit

"huuuh, /tg/, do I really have to wear these? That looks weird on me..."

>>15110935
yes you do

yes you do sugar apples

>>15110785
Do we have a ritual blade or something similar?
As believers in the paranormal, we should have something like that.

>>15110954
...
Xeno "sugar apples" O'Failcron.
I'm totally keeping this.

IS OP GONNA DELIVAR?

This.

It is you.

Assign yourself some stats before ogre gets frisky.

>>15111011
Stats for which system?

>>15111025
I do believe we also need a class

>>15111035
>>15111025
unpsecified

BE CREATIVE

ogre leers at you. Better hurry.

>>15111040
minmax ho!

minimal stats everywhere except agility and magic gubbins.

>>15111040
uh, can we roll barbarian?

>>15111040
Oh, that's easy then... Arcane swordsage.

stat priority:
Str
Int
Dex
Con
Cha
Wis

>>15111040
Ok... So DH.

Bf 25
Ws 20
Str 22
T 25
Int 35
Per 34
WP 30
Fel 27

30 is defined as human average.
20 is crap.

You hand him your stat sheet. He glares with the contempt of a seasoned VtM GM.

>>15111077
Don't know what these are, so ogre will interpret for you.

Class:
>Barbarian


Abilities:
>Muscularity - 22
>Agility - 18
>Testosterone - 25
>Charisma - 6


Feats:
>Magic Gubbins
>Arcane Swordsagery

>>15111112
-4 str /x/-tan? dammit!
yeah, hug him anyway.

>>15111112
T is for Toughness...

>>15111121
Attempt to slash his throat.

Unfortunately, your
>magic gubbins
weigh you down and lower your agility score to another arbitrary number.

>>15111133
no, ask to see his char sheet first.

>>15111149
oh, then just hug him with your magic gubbinz instead of just your arms.

>>15111152
>>15111133

You ask to see ogre's character sheet, thinking about slashing his fat throat.

He tells you he has no character sheet, and he quickly compares himself to the Lady of Sigil.

He laughs at your foolishness.

You feel like a fool.

He laughs more.

>what do?

>>15111185
Laugh with him and hug him, dammit.

Do we have any any armaments or anything at all? Like, do we even possess an inventory?

what powers do her magic gubbinz have?

>>15111189
You attempt to laugh with him but he silences you.

"Listen here....Stan was it? Yes. We all go through such changes as we enter the land of the Golden Star. For instance, I became an ogre. And you are...well."

>What ask?

>>15111233
>A Sergal.

>>15111233
a faiiiiiry

>>15111233

Your bane

>>15111233
"Will you force yourself upon me? Or are you straight?"

Make him think about it.

>>15111221
You check your inventory.

Error 404.

Actually, you seem to be missing something.

>>15111252

...I'm fine with this.
Either that, or a true Fae. Just to fuck around.

...or if we want to fuck around with him, let's pull out "Great wyrm Gold Dragon".

>>15111279
oh shit my pen is missing? damn, it was pretty fun to play with too.

>>15111279
But how can she pee if she's got no ding-dong?

right, fairy.

also, what are her magic titty powers?

I wonder why this shit has made its way onto /tg/

Yes report window captcha "justice! trifilau"

Why am I wearing capris?

BADWRONGFUN

>>15111301
you're not, you're wearing these:
>>15110935

>>15111252

You tell him you are a fairy.

"Well if you weren't one before you got here..."

>>15111264
>"Will you force yourself upon me? Or are you straight?"

He responds that he is an ogresexual.

>>15111301
>capris

For some raisin, you are no longer wearing capris.

So, you are now this:

Fairy Barbarian
with
>Magic Gubbins
>Useless stats
>nothing in inventory

>WAT DOE?

>>15111279
use your muscularity to punch him in the face.

>>15111336
hug him and go on ADVENTURE!

>>15111336
chuck those stick on the floor at the ogre

>>15111336
get a wand

a fairy without a wand is like an ogre without it's club

>>15111369
But you're also a barbarian, so you can use a club as your wand.

>>15111369
I like where this is going.

>>15111362
Upon closer inspection, you discover they are crudely drawn lines on the concrete floor.

You discover:
>pubic hair
>nondescript bug
>magic marker [?/? charges remaining]

>>15110639
My first thought to that picture was "Are you going to eat me?"

>>15111379
club-wands would be harder to find, I think

>>15111379
I see.
So we grab his "club" and cast a fireball to his face.

>RC Cola

I find and kill whoever forced me to drink that putrid swill.

>>15111390
get magic marker, draw yourself a penis

>>15111390
Draw a wand. See if it becomes real through the power of belief.

>>15111408
or rather dat ass.

>>15111390
eat the bug

fairies do that, I think.

>>15111390
Wield pen as a wand.
Pun pubic hair back in panties.
throw bug at the ogre.

throw pubic hair,
put pen in panties,
wield the bug

this.

>>15111417
nonsense, bugs are fairies' friends.

>>15111408
You draw a penis...ahh shit.

All those wasted art classes. The shitty magic marker manifests the crude penis as a unicorn horn.

[?/? charges remaining]

>>15111463
Alright. Don't panic.
Draw a sword onto the wall.#
That should be easier.

>>15111463
he's got too much grease, you can't stab him efficiently.

Let him mount you and go to ADVENTURE!

>>15111463
HORN THE OGRE! HORN HIM IN THE FACE!

>>15111463

Great now I'm Soraka, I get to be useless...

...WAIT cast 'starcall' lower his magic resist!

>>15111421
You throw the bug at ogre.

He catches it in his maw and feasts.

>>15111489
opting for the sword option

ADVENTURE TIME

>>15111521
wed just end up getting sucked into his massive anus

>>15111529
Still an adventure!

Come on now, we all knew we were using the FATAL ruleset as soon as we saw OP.

>>15111529

not if we draw a saddle.

>>15111478
He would surely crush thee!

>>15111486
>>15111488
Stop trying to hurt poor ogre. ;_;

>>15111474
You do thusly!

A...sword falls out of the wall.

It's made of wood. Shitty wood.

But hot damn! If you look at it the right way, it's sorta frightening.

providing adventure music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt-g2hB6zTc

>>15111545
program doesn't change, this can't do shit against him, we have to ally our forces and go kill goblins and loot epic +4Ch tinfoil panties

what if she's got to pee?

Quickly, I look to acquire a pair of pants, and a clever blouse. Search the room!

>>15111623
No, it's /x/-tan. /x/-tan cannot wear anything over her panties, or it disintegrate.

>>15111529
>>15111538
>>15111521

TALLY HOOOOOOO!!!!

>>15111647
FUCK YEAH, INTO GLORY RIDE!

NOW GO FIND ENEMIES TO SLAY!

>>15111657
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQegUdNC0-A

>>15111643

ah, I still say we try, if not pants then at least some shoes, and something for orge as well!

>>15111671
THERE IS NO TIME FOR THIS!

WE GOTTA LOOT AND KILL

LOOT, LOOT, LOOT AND KILL!

>>15111681
just a friendly reminder... Killing unsually happens before looting, not afterwards ...

>>15111681

Luck favors the prepared,

>>15111688
so let's go for impractical armor.

>>15111671
Unfortunately, neither of you has any shoes available.

>>15111657
You are eager for blood, but first you must choose a route.

Ogre describes the surroundings to you.

To the west lies the scarrryyyyy ocean
To the north lie the scarrrrryyyy mountains with scary faces
To the east lies the not-so-scary mushroom forest
To the south lies the Tenochticlan Desert, land of the marauders

>>15111700

Armor? I just don't want to get cold, or end up with glass in my feet!

>>15111703
shrooms

>>15111713

yes, to the forest, villainy abounds.

>>15111732
and tentacled fungus monsters

>>15111737

Fungus?

A yeast infestation you say!

...I apologies.

>>15111752
>>15111737
>>15111732
>>15111713

To the forest it is! And what an adventure you will have.

The mushroom forest, land of the myconid necromancers, realm of the mind spores. You tingle with excitement. ogre snores in his saddle.

But that's all for tonight kids! Tune in tomorrow at 1AM EST for the next exciting episode of DRAGONBALL Z.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT9t3FGdFEI

>>15111803
Imma archive this shit

One last thing.

>>15111825
dem gubbinz

I know how this ends. And you know what I think? I think we need to build a space helicopter.

>>15111861

how the fuck did i fail to see that?

Throw My Poke'ball, I Just Caught A wild Snorlax

/tg/, I fucking love you.