>>15092844
The chapter has a strong Moorish/Islamic theme.

The chapter has no chapter master but is instead governed by a council of the most revered members of each company.

The chapter places a special emphasis on learning, knowledge, technology, and medecine

Battle Brothers carry scimitars/falchions.

The marines believe in helping others and being progressive but are also quite arrogant.

Ibn prefix - Librarians/Techmarines/Apothecaries
Cataphract/Furusiyya - Biker Marines
Janissary - Tactical Marines
Junaid - Scout/Neophyte
Chief Librarian - Vizier
Captains - Emir
Terminators- Sepahii (Sepah singular?)

>>15092848

The planet the Brotherhood rules over is not unified in its worship of the Emperor. The marines encourage conversion to worshipping the God Emperor by secretly supplying factions (kingdoms?/caliphates?) that worship the Emperor with better technology.

The chapter has one of the gauntlets of the Primarch, Ferrus Manus in it’s possession, it is undetermined whether or not they know that the gauntlet belonged to the Primarch.

There is a Christianity-like Tzeentch (or Nurgle?) cult on the planet.
Possibly some Slaanesh worship among the nobles.
Possible Alpha Legion Presence

The Inquisition/an Inquisitor dislikes the Brotherhood because they have some odd views about the Emperor and their unwillingness to destroy non-Chaos heretics.

The Brotherhood does not differentiate between the Emperor and the Omnissiah or any of the Emperor’s other forms.

The chapter may have knowledge of the Void Dragon, they’ve cut all ties with Mars and the Mechanicus.

“Jackknife Crick” a notable dissenter it is undecided whether he works for Chaos or if his goals fall more in line with Inquisitors who have taken an interest in the Brotherhood

Name of the chapter’s fortress monastery: The Casbah

The marines pray to the Kuub, a structure inside The Casbah that houses the Gauntlet of Ferrus Manus

Oh hello OP, I've made one too today. You want me to delete mine? It was your thread so it's your call.

>>15092857
The chapter once had close ties to the AdMech but came to revile the Omnissiah-Emperor division. Like their progenitor the Iron Hands, the Brotherhood believes that the flesh is weak, but while the Iron hands believes in replacing flesh with metal, the Brotherhood believes in making the flesh stronger. The chapter once had strong ties with the Legio Bioligis and came up with many medical techniques to improve combat effectiveness. The chapter works to improve these techniques.

Before fighting at night the battle brothers take a vow to remove their helmets if they are still fighting when dawn comes. Removing their helmets leaves the space marines almost blind in daylight.

The battle brothers also carry a drug called “agga” (seruroid hetume injection) that improves their abilities in battle, they usually only take it if they are fighting in daylight with no helmet or are in dire circumstances. The drug dulls physical sensations like pain, but sharpens the mind, giving the marines preternatural focus and reflexes that seem to border on precognition. High doses of the drug can keep a marine alive and fighting well after they should be dead, at least until the drug wears off. Unfortunately this focus causes the marines to block out what’s happening around them. A marine might continue to fight and not notice all his battle brothers are dead. An apothecary designed the drug but it was a Sepah (terminator) who made it legendary. The drug gave the Sepah incredible fighting ability but made him an ineffective leader.

>>15092879
The “emperors champion” (needs a cool name) is a warrior who on the eve of battle is given the best equipment and is pumped full of combat drugs, making him a nearly unstoppable force on the battlefield. The champion rarely survives the battle, because if the enemy doesn’t kill him, the drugs usually do.
The chapter only has a very limited supply of dreadnoughts, and only entombs victorious champions immediately after battle so that the combat drugs don’t wear off, leaving the marine to die of shock. The chapter gives special reverence to dreadnoughts because they only wake for battle. An existence even the most hardened marine fears.

>>15092861
How much have you guys come up with? If it's not much, post it here so we can get all the information in one place. If you guys have a lot of new info I'll move to your thread.

>>15092904
Pretty much nothing, I'll just copy what was in my OP post minus the OP stuff.
We need more information on battle tactics, here's what I propose:
- Obviously large use of drop pods, that's part of their thing.
- High proportion of apothecaries and tech priests, all about the science
- Have quite a few bike units
- Small about of dreadnoughts, highly venerated
- Standard marines armed traditionally with bolter and chainsword
- Marines of importance have a powerfist or powergauntlet as they may call it.
-Special rule to reflect their use of agga, their combat drug, in times of dire need?
We also need to decide on a colour scheme, here's some already made proposals.
Unsure of Chapter symbol still, although all proposals have a moon (crescent or full) that is either behind the gauntlet or placed in it's grasp, a gauntlet and a steel chain circling around the gauntlet.
We also need some work on the notable figures of the chapter. The Chapter's hero, who slew a daemon priest and was captain of a first company, is unfluffed. Also needed are other notable figures, naming should have some Islamic/Moor basis. I suggest Jibril as the name of the Chapter's hero, the greatest angel in Islam.

Oh! Also an awesome idea came to mind.

So we've an Islam based Chapter, right? Created for a Crusade?

We base the Crusade after the third Crusade, Saladin's conquest of Jeruselam.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Crusade

One thing I've noticed about the chapter is that it's got a lot of options for what codex it uses.
If you wanted to represent the bikers you could use the Dark Angels codex or the Vanilla Space Marines codex. If you want to represent the effects of the combat drugs and the drop pods, you could use the Black Templars or Blood Angels codices.

>>15092848
>>15092949

I'd like a mixture of theese two.

Btw, Constantinople fell to the Ottomans on this very day, in 1453.

>>15093031
Then we shall tribute this thread to them.

Actually what's the planet and moon called? We never came up with the names for those things.

I think the moon should be called Jannah - it's the word for paradise but it's obscure enough that it isn't hitting you over the head.

Now what shall the planet be called?Andalus seems like a cool planet name, reference to Al-Andalus.

>The chapter's enemy is a group of Chaos Space Marines (The Glistening Host?)
Well those guys have a thread up at the moment. We should probably have a see if they want the chapter to interlock or not.

>>15092916
That sounds like a good combat doctrine to use, hit and run tactics. Bikers with chainsword and bolters, drop pods, apothecaries and AdMech and all terminators and elite units have powergauntlets.

>>15093091
It could be really cool as The Glistering Host is working alot with christian angel motifs.

>>15093130
Maybe the chapter assaults with drop pods and uses the bikers to attack elements of the enemy force that are trying to escape?

>>15093148
Aw fuck yeah then. Frickin' perfect. Maybe they used to occupy the planet for a brief period, maybe back when they were loyalist?
>>15093163
Yeah, sounds pretty good to me. This seems like a workable army, we just need some heroic figures. Eventually we'll set out the divisions like the Emperor's Nightmares have.

>>15093148
They are Slaanesh, right? Well our Chapter Hero did slay a daemon prince. Perhaps it was a Slaanesh daemon prince, arisen from their ranks?

I also like the idea that when they were loyalist it was their homeworld. Fits with the Iberia theme.

I think we should clear up something about their origins and the relations with their predecessor.

Seeing as they have the gauntlet of Ferrus I think they should know that that's their origin. However the records have been lost and the Iron Hands reject the accusation that they are their originators due to their beliefs on the lack of dividing up the Emperor into figures such as the Omnisiah.

Also seeing as their relationships with the AdMech aren't the best but they are very much pro-science, how do we justify their tech-priest numbers?

>>15093278
We have a Daemon Prince that appeares as a great angel whose skin is covered in eyeless faces. And Daemon Princes can't truly be killed right? They come back from the warp after a while?

Another idea would be that the two chapters were working together to liberate the planet from an invading slaaneshi force. When they succeeded, the planet was given to the glistening host. Later when the chapter fell, the Brotherhood booted them out and made the planet their own.

The daemon prince could have been killed during the initial liberation.

>>15092879


Before fighting at night the battle brothers take a vow to remove their helmets if they are still fighting when dawn comes. Removing their helmets leaves the space marines almost blind in daylight.


Why would they do that? Not only are they killing themselves for failure, they are ensuring that they would fail their mission. I like the idea, but it should be reworked.

How about: For every full day of fighting, a marine takes Agga (or whatever we named the combat drug). As the battle goes on, more and more marines fall to the drug, taking with them far more enemies then they normally would. In doing so, they are able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, but at a cost so high few other chapters would consider it.

>>15093334
Yep, that's how it works if I remember correctly. It is possible to kill the weaker ones, but we can just go with banish.

>>15093358
The idea was that the chapter has a weird sense of honor and they have exceptional night vision so they want to give the enemy a "fair" fight.

I like your idea a lot though.

>>15093358
That works too. We were just using the daylight thing because we've yet to think of another way to insert the fact that they have really good eyesight at night but poor eyesight in the dark. We don't want to go the sneaky route because it doesn't seem to fit.

Their rite of passage should be that they are left in scorching desert o survive. Untill they find or kill or do something. Wandering nearly blind in a great desert.

Personally I don't think we need the Alpha Legion presence, we've already enough Chaos to go around at the moment.

The Glistening Host guys suggest that the Slaanesh cult be linked to a figure of their's Chapter's history. I think this is a pretty good idea because Iberia was famous for being one of the most hedonistic places in Europe. So much poetry and music.

I wonder if we can mix the Slaanesh cult and have it also replace the Christian Chaos cult going around so there's only one, which makes sense for a Chapter's homeworld. Their chapter does seem to have a Christian basis, how do we make Slaanesh analogous for Christianity?

>>15093458
Maybe the aspirants are blinded in some way to reflect how handicapped the marines are without their helmets. The trial would be to survive alone in the desert for six months, blind. Or they are blinded and then told to hunt some sort of great beast. Or in the tradition of medieval tournaments, the aspirants are blinded and then have to fight each other.

>>15093472
Being a peasant on a medieval desert planet is a pretty rough life, Slaanesh offers respite and salvation in the form of physical pleasure. Nobles would turn to Slaanesh because he/she/it offers greater depths of hedonism.

>>15093489
Blinded combat would work nicely with the "Eye to eye" flaw (while being deliciously ironic)

>>15093511
Jesus turned water into wine right? Well maybe a Slaanesh cultist (Jackknife Crick) turns water into wine. The wine corrupts people and brings them under the influence of Slaanesh.

>>15093489
>>15093458
Whichever we choose I think we should add an additional initiation ritual: A Gauntlet.

A gauntlet is when you run between two rows of warriors who attempt to strike you as you run past.

Since these are Space Marines we should make this a very extreme gauntlet. It is almost a mile long, the warriors attempting to strike you are plentiful and will attempt to strike you in various way, often by surprise. Additionally while most of them are common warriors some are very skilled and the common warriors are pumped full of drugs to make it challenging.

>>15093531
Ha, I like that. It's a nice little joke. Possibly put it in as a reference to indicate Christian basis.

Let's see... how about one of the ritual they do is extreme sadism practices in hospitals? Reference to how bad at medicine things were.

>>15093537
I could actually see the Gauntlet being part of the "welcome to the team" ritual. Once they passed the initiation rites and are accepted as brothers..they get the shit kicked out of them.

Tried a new scheme with an Islam green. Looks alright, I think.

>>15093621
I like this idea, before the winners of the tournament get to start having implants added to them, they have to run a gauntlet of all battle brothers currently stationed at the Casbah. At the end are a group of Apothecaries waiting to heal them and start giving them their first implants.

>>15093489
>>15093458
Ooh, let's call it the Jahannam desert. And they have to cross one side to the next with their vision impaired.

Oh and Agga? Well they came up with a drug that does the reverse. Instead of making you more resilient to pain, it heightens it. It's called Zaqqum.

And after you've done all of that... there's the fucking gauntlet, where you have to avoid skilled warriors trying to chop you to pieces.

Additional idea: You have a gauntlet locked onto one of your hands. It's heavy, so it weighs you down. You also have a metal gauntlet pressing on your flesh in the desert.

So I think we should get the details of our Chapter's hero down. I like the name of Jibril, I also like the idea that he slew the Glistening Hoist's angel daemon which makes his name very suitable.

Perhaps we should get more details on the daemon. They've came up with a very good fluff that Andalus was once the Blood Dragon's (former name of the Chapter) and they set up a scheme of opulence to calm the black rage. This led to a Slaanesh cult and their eventual down fall.

The Brotherhood and the Grey Knights were called in to take 'em down. While the Glistening Hoist has moved on because the effects of their corruption still affect their homeworld as a persistent problem the Brotherhood is pissed as fuck.

>>15093906

This could lead to the Brotherhood having a very uncharitable view on nobles and their excesses. I think it could also mean that they'd lead a very simple, monastic life. Kind of like Sufi mystics.

I think we need to get a colour scheme decided properly, it's going to be a pain to post all of the different ones.

>>15093929
I think instead of nobles let's extend it. The Chapter knows it is their duty to protect humanity but think they are too easily lead astray from the Emperor's light by the pleasures of this universe. Quite cold and emotionless, much like the Iron Hands.

Also should we try and represent the five pillars of Islam? We've already got Shahada. Ritualized prayers, five times a day? Fasting rituals are common in Marine chapters, we can put that in too and it also goes with the "Fuck you, Slaanesh". Zakat; charity, aiding the planet progress and stuff.

Hajj; Pilgramage, could be part of the initiation ritual.

>>15093929
Speaking of Sufis, maybe the "Emperor's Champion" could be called a Dervish?

>>15094017
Possibly, although I think that suits a Chaplain. Maybe the title of the Chaplain on a council?

Is there an Islamic equivalent of a berserker?

>>15093937
Personally I think it should be out of these three:
>>15093657
>>15092848
>>15092844

The blue trim of the other two doesn't really fit. The last one has a direct link to Islamic basis but might be going overboard. The middle one has quite a deserty feel. The first one looks very nice, I think.

>>15094070
The closest thing would be the hashishins, assassins who worked themselves into a frenzy with the drug hashish.

>>15094143

Speaking of which: Assassin's Creed-inspired Scouts, yay or nay?

I see the Scouts of this chapter as a special brotherhood. Through their covert operations, the Chapter influences the fate of their homeworld.

>>15094163
The scouts are called junaieds, it means "young fighter". The chapter's main form of influence on their home world is through providing factions that worship the Emperor better technology.

>>15094202

And assassinating rival faction leaders. Right? Right?

>>15094210
That kind of runs against the knight theme we had going, these guys are willing to basically blind themselves in the middle of battle because HONOR DEMANDS IT.

>>15094272
I think we can try to fit assassins with knights.

When it comes to battle, it's got to be honourable.

However when it's not battle, you're allowed to be a little sneaky. Let's remember that the Islamic world doesn't quite have the same codes of conduct as your usual knights.

So battle = honour but not-battle = stabby stabby time.

Scouts are allowed to assassinate in non-battle situations but they can't do the sneaky stuff during battle.

This also helps fit with the "we can see awesomely in the dark" thing going on.

I wonder, is there someway we can justify the desert feudal world having longer nights than days or being dark? Is it possible to have a dark desert world?

I think we should get some of the crunch sorted out, is there anyone who's good at crunch?

The Glistening Horde may have been to the planet to deal with a Khorne insurgency.

Now you see, this works very well for the Iberia theme. Very, very well.

Why was Iberia so easily conquered? Because everyone was killing one another. Khorne wars everywhere.

Christianity basis? Very easy with Khorne. DRINK THIS BLOOD, BECAUSE IT IS BLOOD. EAT THIS FLESH, BECAUSE IT IS FLESH. RAAAAGH. Put some references from the more bloody Bible chapters and voila. What do you think? Too many christian based chaos cults?

>>15094587
Andalus is a powder keg ready to explode, Imperial religion conflicts with the local ones, and the pseudo-Christianity Chaos cults are trying to fuck everyone over, even each other.

I wonder, can we fit Djinns? Like a form of Tzeentch corruption?

I worry that this world may be getting a little too corrupt. Although maybe that could be part of the Chapter's thing?
>Why did we get a world so fucked up
>Shut it, we're not destroying it. WE SHALL PREVAIL

The chapter does seem to be very stubborn after all.

>>15094616
Of note though was that under Muslim rule the Jews were treated a lot better than under Chaos rule?

Maybe the native, non-Chaos, religion can reflect this? Under Chaos, they were getting slaughtered. Under the Imperium they are ignored and just tithed more and supplies given to good Imperial worshippers.

>>15094680
Yeah I like that idea, maybe the crusading Brotherhood and Blood Dragons arivved just in time to stop some sort of chaos group from slaughtering the populace?

Also I just had an idea, since Andalus was a non-imperium world, maybe the Brotherhood ignored orders from the AdMech to go to a nearby world to search for some tech relics but instead decided to team up with the Blood Dragons to try to save Andalus? This would explain the break in relations with the AdMech.

>>15094708
That seems like a good idea.

However that sort of "Fuck you, AdMech" can come from two source: Number one, they don't like the whole Omnisiah differentiation. Number two that sort of actions seems to indicate a past. Maybe the Blood Dragons and the Brotherhood fought in the crusade the Brotherhood was made for together?

>>15094109
I just saw the Glistening Horde and this thread side by side and the first one, the one in the OP looks too much like theirs. I think the choice is between:
>>15093657
>>15092848
Not sure which, though. Green or brown, green or brown...

>>15094708

I reckon Andalus was in the throes of Khornate warlords when the crusade reached it. These warrlords were fighting amongst themselves. There was a world war going on. When the crusade arrived, many of the Khornates quickly united against the Astartes as the common enemy. The Blood Dragons were embroiled in heavy fighting from the start, the local warlords having inferior technology but superior knowledge of the terrain and numerical advantage. Pressed hard, they called the Gauntlet for help.

So who's on the council?
Leader of the Terminator squad
A Dreadnought, since they venerate them
Head Apothecary
Head Tech Priest (we still need to establish how they get tech priests with poor AdMech relations)
Head Librarian (Chapter has a more open policy on access to lore, more a managing deal there's only a few librarians)

Who else?

Alright, here's my take on the color scheme. The gray is there to sort of conjure up the image of a knight, the orange is there because I remember the Moorish flag in medieval 2 total war being orange. This particular marine has his left gauntlet painted red to show he's a veteran.

>>15094799
Goddammit.
Here.

>>15094789
That sounds pretty cool.

but let's not make it too unifying. Let's say many hordes unified, but they were still separated. This is more like the conquering of Iberia, while some nations unified there were still divisions which enabled them to be defeated.

>>15094810
I kinda like, i'd prefer a silver gauntlet though
Maybe som green details for a subtle muslim tie?

>>15094792
From my understanding, the dreadnoughts are venerated because they lead such a tortured existence because of the combat drugs they're had to take and how they only wake them up for battle.

>>15094810
I like this scheme. I like it a lot.

However can we try it with just one hand coloured, the silver one? The red glove doesn't look right. Other than, I say we go with this.

it is also reminiscent of the Iron Hands scheme, which is cool.

Possibly different squads have different gauntlet colours? That'd be cool.

>>15094833
I meant one gauntlet being like the rest of the armor and one being silver. Just to clarify

>>15094838
Sure.

>>15094792
I like the idea that there is five members on the council. Five pillars of Islam and all that.

>>15094853
Yes this looks a lot better.

I say we go with this. Adding some green sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure where it could be put that'd look good. This is simple but effective.

>>15094836
>>15094862
Alright so five members, but using a dreadnought doesn't work. Who'll be the fifth?

>>15094876
How about a randomly selected battle brother? To be sort of a voice of reason?

There was earlier talk about excentric tabards, how 'bout some green and orange tabard on theese bad boys?

>>15094898
That sounds like a good idea.
>>15094899
Maybe. I dunno if a green tabbard would look good though with that scheme.

Here's one with the area where the chapter emblem would be in green. Maybe the chapter emblem could have a green background?

>>15094940
Eh, I don't think it quite works. However it might be because it's a light shade of green. Let's try a darker shade.

>>15094956
Actually, looking at it again, it kind of works. Not sure. Still try with a darker shade.

rolled 98 = 98

>>15094940
Prehapd having the whole left arm going in green, ending in a silver gauntlet? Don't know just throwing it out there

>>15094940
>>15094956
>>15094975
I'm not too happy with the green either.

>>15095014
That looks better.

Now for a symbol... silver gauntlet holding a similar orange crescent moon in a sort of (_) arrangement, like one of those curved dagger things? Maybe the moon's that colour?

>>15094853
I prefer the scheme without the green. The green, while a cool reference, just doesn't fit. This is simple but elegant.

Also I had a thought about the fifth member of the council. Is Jibril still alive? Maybe he could be the fifth member.

Also we need to fluff up Jibril, him being the hero and all.

>>15095256

I think Jibril should be a dreadnought if he's still alive.

>>15095326
YES

THIS

Someone needs to archive this thread.

>>15095326
The noble hero of the Brotherhood, now a fearsome completely fixated dreadnought? Fuck. Yes.

Also he has the biggest powerfist fucking ever.

I kind of like the idea that Jibris was all about the power fists. And he fisticuffed the daemon he killed to death, but was mortally wounded. he was then put into a dreadnought so even in death he could fisticuff.
>>15095383
We've still plenty of room for posts, we can archive it later.

Hey guys, quick thought: What resembles a gauntlet more, a power fist or a lighting claw? I think maybe we should swap the use of power fists with lightning claws.

So I'm thinking of doing some writefaggotry for Jibril. I'll be honest and say I'm not very good but I think the chapter deserves some. So let's try and get an outline for his deed:
Captain of the first company, I'm assuming he wore terminator armour. Dual lightning claws? That'd be pretty cool.

He slays a daemon prince, correct? One from the Glistening Horde. And he appears as a skinless angel. When should this encounter be and where? Is there any other details for the daemon prince?

i don't know if this is allowed, but i got an image of jibril with a silver powerfist on his right arm and a chainsword in his left -and he's wearing a jump pack.

also, regarding dread jibril, perhaps he can be a venerable dreadnought, or a siege dreadnought with a seismic hammer.

>>15095546
Someone from the Glistering Host thread suggested they commit a raid on Andalus leading to a combat between the prince and Jibril. The captain defending the homeworld and demoralising the Host into leaving the planet seems like a fairly heroic deed, at the expense of his body. Not sure about the daemon, ask them about it.

>>15094853
i really like this; it's muted without being a copy of the raven guard or black templars, but i think it could use a little color. how about making the chest and upper arms dark green (leave the eagle and lower torso the same color as now), and extending the silver gauntlet to the elbow like in >>15093657

for squad / role identification, we could maybe color the left hand elbow in primary colors; red, blue, green...

perhaps the tabards can also follow role identification ... although, the problem with this is that a tabard would get torn up pretty fast in close range combat.

also, since black and gold is a classic color combination, and it's very middle eastern to have decorative writings all over, i imagine that veterans could be honored by having arabic looking cursive script written on their armor in gold.


>>15093657
this scheme i like as well; i really like the colors (reminds me of the doom eagles, who i think have an awesome look) and i think the chapter symbol would look good in yellow on the left hand pauldron.

>>15095739
100000 hours in mspaint, with veteran script, squad/role identification pattern and upward pointing boots (very middle-eastern, and great for delivering an armor breaking boot to the crotch)

>>15095722
An artefact giant silver powerfist might be cool with a chainsword. Maybe the first company of the Brotherhood is a vanguard terminator squad, so he has a jumpack. Actually he sounds pretty awesome.

I AM GOING TO FLY AT YOU, PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AND THEN CHOP YOU UP.

Also Venerable dreadnought is a given.

>>15095778
I think it should be restricted to the pauldrons. It looks great on the pauldrons.

>>15095778
I think Anon was right when he said the silver gauntlet should be extended on this one. I think this is the best scheme and the runes should be restricted to the pauldrons, but it might look better if the gauntlet were bigger.

i kinda like the idea that the more veteran a marine becomes, the more gold script he accrues on his armor. it's certainly a unique look.

the problem with limiting the script to the pauldrons is that they're supposed to be replacable and ablative; the gold script ought to be a unique blessing or catechism, that i don't think should be limited to a -relatively- impermanent piece of armor.

one more thing: maybe this >>15093657 could be the scheme for the emperors champion, and this >>15095778 (plus the changes mentioned here >>15095739 ) be the scheme for the rest of the chapter.

the silver and green scheme is rather busy, and would be perfect for distracting the aim of foes as the marine whirls and charges.

the high contrast between the different segments of armor would create dizzying, flashing shapes as the marine moves, and i imagine that as a result, it would be much more difficult for an opponent to pinpoint the ideal place to shoot at.

-also, i just think it would look awesome with a big, silver powersword, the same color as his gauntlet, which should be brighter than the rest of the silver on the armor.

one final thing; i think the dark part of the pauldrons would look better if they were black, with insignia enscribed in bright orange-yellow or gold.

>>15096390
>>15096390
oh yeah, and that's just me playing with the design some more... i think i went a little overboard with the pattern

>>15096390
Good point. It's just that while the gold script looks cool in some areas, in others it does not. This is just my personal opinion but places I do not think it works is:
-Helmet
-Chest piece
-Cod piece

The Emperor's Champion having a special outfit seems like a good idea, I'm fine with that. The dark pauldrons may look better too.

Maybe the Emperor's Champion should be called a Maalik. It's the name of an angel who guards and runs hell, which is what they'd bring to their enemy.

I like the idea that they are given a special sword too. How about a special flaming one?

Gonna start writefagging now. Quick bump to make sure the thread doesn't die.

>>15096848

I think Maalik shouldn't be a title, but more of a name. If you take up the mantle of the Emperor's Champion you are henceforth referred to as Maalik, you have no rank, no identity other than Maalik.

rolled 87 = 87

>>15095734
>Not sure about the daemon, ask them about it.

Last time I checked, we were either going with a skinless angel (my personal favoite) or an angel who's white skin was covered in eye-less faces.

where do you get the information to create your own chapter (like gene stock, records, flaws etc)?

Alright, done the story. It's not very good and I'm tired as fuck so it's probably got plenty of flaws, but I gave it a shot.

Emir Jibril of the Sepahii, First Company of the Brotherhood of the Gauntlet, knelt in prayer and complete silence before the Arsh, a statue of the Emperor on the Golden Throne located in the Chapel of the Casbah. The Arsh was situated so when faced a Marine would also be facing the Kuub. Emir Jibril knelt in silence and utter concentration, he was to become one with the Emperor’s divine will and in preparation to do so he prayed with his armour in immaculate condition and weapons fully prepared, for how could he be one with the Emperor if he was not as vigilant and worthy as he can be? His armour was that of the veteran vanguard equipped with jump pack, the order of the First Company of his chapter, it was composed of a dark grey with orange details. On his arm was a finely crafted power fist, it’s construction of the highest quality. It was a large and powerful silver artefact, it was shined to gleam perfectly, and on it were inscribed prayers and oaths to the Emperor, Jibril’s other arm held a chainsword pressed down to the floor in reverence before the Arsh. The silence was total for the Emir to submerge himself in his reverence, Jannah always held a beauty of tranquillity to compensate for its lack of life.

>>15100818
While deep in his prayer he was interrupted as the large solid metal Chapel doors swung open and the foot falls of another Marine in armour enter. Jibril did not need to turn from his prayer to identify who it was as Jibril knew the footfall’s of this Marine well enough to identify him from that. It was Vizier Katibin, who held the honoured position as Chief Keeper of Lore. Jibril also did not need to inquire as to the nature of the interruption as a Brother would only interfere with the prayers of another for one reason, if there was a dire danger that needed to be dealt with however Jibril asked anyway to ascertain the nature of the threat.
“Why do you come to me, Katibin?” Jibril’s voice was even, his eyes still closed under his helmet but he was no longer in a deeply concentrated state of prayer.
“Andalus is in peril” Vizier Katibin’s tone was cold and serious, aspects that were common among marines of the chapter, albeit a trait Jibril himself did not share, and his tone remained so as he continued “You are needed on the surface of the planet, Emir Jibril”
Jibril rose from his kneeling state and turned to face the vizier, the chainsword in his hand still facing downward.
“Cultists?” Jibril inquired quickly
“No” Vizier replied accompanied with a shake of his head as he continued in a more serious and grievous tone “The Glistening Host.”

>>15100827
(Bugger, should have spaced it out while posting. Whoops)

Jibril’s grip on his chainsword grew drastically, so much so he had to apply restraint in the fear he might do damage to a holy instrument of the Emperor. Such anger was not characteristic of his Chapter but he felt a strong surge of it at the mention of the reviled enemy, to hear them able to attack so quickly and without warning nearly overcame him. Their atrocities were well recorded in the history of Andalus, how they were the source of a strill lingering corruption of hedonism and great foulness. Their numbers had slain many of the Chapter and their name was reviled. He managed to take control of himself and was able to bark one quick question; “How?”

The Vizier too found some emotional impact from the situation as he took time for his response “It would appear the enemy is extremely cunning. They took aboard a pirate vessel, one with a very extensive stealth system. They landed in the Xaras desert and were able to travel to the capital of Al-Moor. We only just heard of their arrival, it would appear the slaughter in the city is… extensive”

Jibril took a moment of silence to take in the information before he responded.

“Let us make haste then, Brother. It would be ungracious of us to leave our visitors waiting” Jibril told the Vizier as he marched outside of the Chapel to the ships where he would board one and enter a drop pod. There was work to be done.

>>15100839
Jibril felt a shake in the Drop Pod as he sat with his head facing downwards and realized it had been released from the ship and was entering the atmosphere. It would not be long before it reached the surface. Accompanying him in the drop pod were men of his First Company, exemplars of the virtues of the Brotherhood of the Gauntlet and staunch servants of the Emperor. He knew his men well and could feel the tension that ran through them, the thought of a world under their protection under attack so easily disturbing their usual level headed attitude. It would be a long journey to the planet. Jibril raised his head and began to speak.

“Who are we?” Jibril asked aloud, the attention of his company soon drawn to him as he continued “We are the Brotherhood of the Gauntlet”

There was a pause of silence, broken only by the sounds of the drop pods descending down the atmosphere.

“Who are we?” Jibril asked again and continued after a pause to let his men pay further attention “We are Space Marines, the Angels of Death”

“Who are we?” Jibril repeated, his voice rising this time as he once again continued “We are instruments of the Emperor’s will”
Jibril took a pause to look at his Brothers and found them enraptured in his words, he knew he must continue.

>>15100853
“Who are we? We are the guardians of the Emperor’s chosen. We are the harbingers of doom to the Emperor’s enemies. We are his will. We are his grasp. We are his unending might, the burning light of mankind that rejects all darkness that threatens it. We are Brothers.” At the last sentence for emphasis Jibril rose to stand. He took pause to observe each of his Brothers face before continuing again. In the background the sound of the drop pod’s descent grew louder and louder as it soon approached the ground.

“Tell me, do you know who we are?” Jibril asked his company, shouting so his voice may be overheard over the fall of the drop pod.

“Yes, Emir!” roared the response of the company.

“Then show me!” Jibril yelled as he raised his power fist in the air and as validation of his words the drop pod came crashing down to the ground as the thunderous boom of the Emperor’s fury.

>>15100860
The marines of the Brotherhood descended onto the city of Al-Moor like the fists of the Emperor himself, tactically deployed throughout the city. Each squadron has their orders to most effectively deal with the threat, reconnaissance had shown that a noble Slaanesh cult within the city arose and took arms with the Glistening Host as soon as they arrived. Jibril’s orders were to deal with a high destructive force indicated in a temple to the Emperor, reported to have many sighting of blood shed although the source was unknown, he was to be accompanied with only a small segment of five other veteran marines to deal with the threat as there was much ground to reclaim in the city.
The city itself could be seen as a tribute to the dark forces the traitors serve for it was as the forces they served; Chaos. Flames ran throughout the city, blood soaked the walls and ground, swirling in patterns as if placed there by a maddened painter. Jibril would not let anger overtake him from the disgrace the traitors had brought to this world once again, he was determined to serve his chapter and remove this foul taint. He signalled his small squadron to follow him as he took haste and headed for the temple located in the centre of the madness struck city utilizing the jump packs with the great need his duty brought about him.

>>15100864
He and his squadron were halfway when they got first sight of the enemy, a cluster of ten marines from the Glistening Host gathered in an alleyway only a short distance away. Their armour was white, although not to the eye from a distance so stained and coated with blood it was, and a garish gold a symbol of the opulence that damned them on this world in the first place, their equipment were foul chaos tainted bolters. They appeared to be smothering blood of the fallen citizens of Al-Moore in a ritualized fashion, a symbol of Slaanesh smeared in blood on a wall. Jibril recognized one corpse as an Arbite captain, one who had helped in a raid on a Slaanesh cult. He remembered him as a kind and gentle man, the thought forced Jibril to calm himself lest he act too rash.

Jibril and his squadron refused to avoid this atrocity. Priming themselves for battle they charged at the traitors, filled with a righteous battle fury and the hope for the element of surprise. Unfortunately the traitors were not as entranced by their rituals as they appeared and noticed the attack, they turned upon the loyalist bolters in hand letting out a yell of anticipation as they shot ferociously at the fast approaching Jibril and his squadron. Jibril noticed the marksmanship of the traitors proved sufficient to fell one of his Brothers, the traitor who accomplished it letting out a cackle as he succeeded but the gap between loyalist and traitor was soon closing. Jibril noticed one traitor had far more abundance chaotic runes and seemed large than the others, this Marine was aiming primarily at him and begun to shout at Jibril.

>>15100877
“Yesssss, come! Come! Come Loyalist scum, let your blood rain above me, let it dance and make sweet music as it sprays itself in wonderful ordainment! Let its red hue paint me in worship to the Dark Prince of Pleasure, let it be a wonderful tribu-” The Chaos Marine was interrupted as Jibril closed the distance between them with a start from his jump pack, flying in the air while taking some bolter wounds at his side, and grasped the helmet of the traitor in his silver powerglove as he soared in the air. With one fell squeeze the traitor’s head burst, staining the gleaming silver of the power fist with a deep dark red.

“Traitors talk too much” Jibril muttered darkly to himself as he landed on the ground, the traitor’s headless body slumping and falling behind him.

Likewise other members of Jibril’s squad dispatched of the traitors in the proceeding melee although yet another of his Brothers fell to the traitor’s bolter as the traitor collided with him in the air, throwing him to the ground and let loose a stream of his bolter direct through the loyalist’s helmet, covering the traitor even more with blood. The traitor let out a cry of ecstasy as the loyalist blood coated him, this cry was silenced as Jibril beheaded him with a fell swoop of his chain sword which ripped the cry from his throat as it tore through his helmet and flesh. Jibril and his Brother took a moment to commemorate their fallen Brothers as they then proceeded to approach the temple.

>>15100884
When the marines reached the temple a small moment was taken to evaluate its status. The central dome of the temple was a crater, a gaping hole in the roof. One of the two front pillars of the temple, upon which were situated aquilas, had fallen into a mighty rubble, inscribed deeply into both pillars was the mark of Slaanesh and the aquilas had been smashed to the ground. A flight of steps lead to the temple and they were of significant size, down them ran a stream of blood that collected into a large pool of blood at the bottom of the steps as if the traitors has set out a welcoming for the marines. The marines quickly arose to the entrance and swung the doors open.

>>15100891
The temple was once a large ornate hall, filled with pictures commemorating the glory of the Emperor and the Imperium, filled with priests working in His Name. Now it was blood painted tribute to sadism, the corpses and organs of priests used to decorate an intricate pattern on the floor, their blood used to paint the walls with an eldritch unknowable language that hurt they eyes to rest upon. In the centre resided a man, an angel. He was twice the size of Jibril with large black wings behind him. His skin was an ivory white and he had long flowing black hair as dark as the deepest abyss behind him and at first it appeared he was wearing some light robe that left his ivory arms free but under further concentration Jibril realised it was a robe weaved from multiple corpses, flayed and stitched together seamlessly with their eyes pleading of an unending agony. Under further inspection the mouth moved slowly in a low monotonous wail, ever-present no matter what background noise. Its features were androgynous, perfectly formed, alluring and most of all perfectly symmetrical, not a feature out of line. Its hands had dark, large and sharp nails that gleamed to the eye. The creature looked deep into Jibril, as if it saw past his armour and was looking at him as if he were bare before the universe. Jibril knew it for what it was, a daemon prince, a foul servant of its Chaos god, an enemy of the Imperium and a scourge upon his Chapter. Its mouth opened slowly, angled in a condescending smile like a cat finding a hapless mouse.

>>15100896
“Why what do I have here? Some new toys to play with? Oh my, the Dark Prince has given me his blessing today. Come, little men. How shall we play? Shall we dance? Oh what fun we shall have” The Daemon’s voice was as soft as velvet, a purr that melted into the ears are wrapped the mind in its coil, alluring and seductive to the core. But the Marines of the Brotherhood held firm in their faith and did not waver.

“Silence, foul daemon. Your filth shall stain this place no longer! We shall cleanse you from this place in the name of our Chapter, the Imperium and the most venerated Emperor!” Jibril rallied as he held his chainsword aloft and pointed it in the direction of the daemon. The daemon stared at him as if pondering his existence and then threw back its head in laughter. The laughter of the daemon echoed an unknowable malevolence and resonated an aura of fear, but the Brotherhood stood firm.

>>15100907
“Silence! For the Emperor!” Jibril let out as he and his three remaining brother rushed at the daemon prince, charging with all their zeal and might. The daemon refuse to aquisit to the marine’s demands and continued its terrible laughter, as the marines assailed forward it outstretched it arms. The fingers of the daemon suddenly grew at a terrible rate, one that even the augmented eyes of the marines could not keep up with. In a flash one of Jibril’s Brothers was impaled by a finger, the pointed nails as sharp and powerful as any dagger. The squadron halted their charge, forced to dodge an unending barrage of tendril like fingers which swayed like whips, constantly growing with additional joints. Jibril sliced an oncoming tendril in half with his chainsword by ducking under its thrust and slashing at the flesh, but a new point with a dark nail arises from the newly formed stump and the cycle begun anew. The marines were forced to calculated dodging to avoid the finger’s fatal tip, one marine attempted a desperate charge at the daemon, thrusting his weapons desperately at it. A mouth of the daemon’s skin robe opens and an elongated tongue grasps the marine’s leg, forcing him to falter and the prone marine is soon impaled multiple times by the tendrils of the daemon, which lets out a laughter of glee as the blood sprays along its tendrils.

>>15100911
In what appears to be cowardice the other Brother begins to retreat, a sight that drew the daemon’s amusement and interest however Jibril feared not for he knew his Brothers were loyal to the end. One hand’s worth of fingers follows the fleeing marine across the hall as Jibril makes slow but steady progress approaching the daemon as he dodged the other tendrils, unfortunately one tendril impaled the fleeing Marine in the arm to the wall at the elbow, his legs were then also similarly painfully impaled by other tendrils. In the remaining free arm the marine holds a chainsword which in a last ditch attempt to serve as a distraction it throws at the daemon’s head, it is an accurate throw but the daemon’s neck bend a complete 180 degrees to avoid a collision with its face, It bends it’s neck back forward again to reveal only an unnaturally large smile as a tendril finally approached the decoy marine and impaled his heart, blood gushing on the floor of the hall from the wound through the armour.

>>15100926
Jibril however had finally been able to make enough progress to make a horizontal slash as he make a drastic charge utilizing his jump pack towards the daemon, slicing a wound in its torso. The smile of the daemon quickly fades into a scowl as all the mouths on its robe let out a scream, the wound does not hamper its assault however and Jibril is grasped by the tendrils of the daemon and thrown to the other side of the hall. The force of the daemon’s throw does extensive damage to even the marine’s augmented physiology, sending wild surges of pain throughout his body, and Jibril finds his strength fading. He knows that he may well falter in this battle but he knows even more certainly that the daemon cannot be allowed to live, so he takes the only resort left to him. An emergency injection of agga is initiated, the pain fades from his mind and his mind becomes monotonous. Only the battle exists. Time appears to slow to Jibril as he rises from his injuries and charges once again at the daemon, no other function but the current combat in his mind.

>>15100938
The daemon has a sneer etched on its face as it lashes out its tendrils at Jibril however the marine is able to avoid them with extensive agility and grace, gaining remarkable ground against the daemon. As Jibril is mere meters away the daemon transforms one of its arm into one large fleshy tendril with a sharp shiny point much like it’s fingernails. With a swift powerful blow it impales Jibril mid-torso and lets out a screech of pleasure as large chunks of gore covers itself. The daemon lifts its impaled foe upwards so as to gaze at its enemy’s visage and witness its agonizing death. However, much to even the daemon’s surprise, Jibril grasps the impaling arm and pulls himself along it to be within grasping range of the daemon where he then grasp the daemons neck in an unnaturally strong vice grip, blood exuding from where he places his hold, in his other hand he lifts up his chainsword and points it downward to in between the daemon’s perfectly symmetrically parted eyes.

“Feel death’s grasp!” Jibril cries out as with all his strength he simultaneously squeezes his grip on the daemon’s neck and impales its face with his chainsword, tearing it’s perfectly modelled face with righteous fury. The daemon lets out a death screech from all of its mouths, a deafening and bone chilling wail as it is banished from the matterium and as its corpse topples to the ground. Jibril’s impaled body rests atop it, the agga’s effect wading as he seeps into a deep darkness.

>>15100942
Jibril’s body was able to be recovered and due to the advance apothecary techniques of the chapter he was able to be placed into a dreadnought. His death blow to the daemon demoralised the raiding Glistening Host, forcing them to flee and saving Andalus, his name is praised throughout the planet and admired throughout the Chapter.

Jibril was allowed to continue to serve in his new form. As a guardian of the Emperor’s chosen. As a harbinger of doom to the Emperor’s enemies. As a burning light for mankind. As a brother of the Brotherhood of the Gauntlet.

(Alright, done now. Not very good, but gave it my best and half of it's written while very tired.)

>>15100957
Eh, it's alright. Not great but not exactly especially terrible, I think this can be used as the history of the Chapter's hero.

rolled 70 = 70

>>15100957
>>15100942
>>15100938
>>15100926
>>15100911
>>15100907
>>15100896
>>15100891
>>15100884
>>15100877
>>15100864
>>15100860
>>15100853
>>15100839
>>15100827
>>15100818

I like it, not entirely sure on how you portraited the Host, abit to "Mohahaha evil" than what I imagined but I really like The Gauntlet side of it all. I say go with it.

>>15102286
Yeah, I'm sorry about that. There was a gap between the Brotherhood half and the Horde half. I was sleepier for the Horde half and Mwahahaha dialogue came easier.

I'm sleepier now actually but damn sleep problems are still keeping me up.

I've an idea for a quick fix for it though: put a preface on it that it's a recorded account from the gauntlet, gives it bias so the really cheesy villain stuff can be written off as the brotherhood trying to villify them as much as they can.

>>15098665
>>15096848
This, this I like. And The Maliik should defenitly use a flaming sword. Because it's awesome.

>>15102398
I think it was mentioned previously that the "Champion" or Maliik now has a very different paint scheme from the rest of the marines.

Also there's a lot of new fluff that needs to be added to the wiki now.

Have we decided on a battle-cry yet?

>>15103824
Nope, not really. Hmm how about "We shall prevail"? Bit bland but it gets the whole stubborn thing across.

been playing with the scheme a bit more. none of this is permanent and of course y'all have a say as to what stays and what goes.

<-- this here is the default scheme, upon which squad designations are added.

i imagine this red striped scheme would look good on tac marines.

if you don't like the gold... well just pretend it's not there, or edit it out. i like it, and i think it adds a unique touch to this chapter.

this scheme could be for... idunno, veterans, asm, sword brethren, vanguard and sternguard are all available choices...

i'm not sure what to do with the blue, but i personally like a quasi quartered scheme; i think it looks relatively unique.

>>15105113

>>15105113
threw a knarloc green collar on this one for the hell of it. i think it looks nice.

>>15105034
This is a great scheme. I want this scheme.


>>15105067
This pattern is actually really cool, I'd prepher this over the quasi quarted one.

>>15105132
speaking of which, here's a 'blank' gauntlet janissary with a green collar

blank with green collar and green belt

mentors style, with a red elbow pad to indicate tac designation.

by the way, i'm imagining all of these with some kind of red, green or blue pattern on the right hand shoulder pauldron

>>15105168
i think it would look really cool if different squad types had different patterns.

here's a... really crappy version of how i'm imagining the icon.

...actually that doesn't even look right, but what the hell, i'm posting it here to get the ball rolling.

>>15105243
If the glove formed a fist it would look better but that is basicly how I imagined it aswell.

>>15093657
>>15105034
>>15095778
>>15105067
>>15105096
>>15105113
>>15105118
>>15105132
>>15105209
now that i think of it, perhaps different roles could be indicated by different colors, and the squad designation could be indicated by a unique pattern.

or, perhaps each individual marine could have a different pattern.

>>15105034
Awesome.
>>15105243
Awesome.

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Now my input would be I've always imagined the crescent moon to be the other way around - archive upwards so it looks like the gauntlet is holding it like those weird crescent blade thing.

Also an idea came to me. You know what's an advantage of an Islam basis? We have a fuckload of prayers to use as Imperial litanies. here's an Imperial Al-Fatihah:

In the name of Emperor, the most beneficent, the most merciful
All appreciation, gratefulness and thankfulness are to Him alone, Emperor of Mankind
The most beneficent, the most merciful
The possessor of Man's soul and fate
You we worship, and you we seek help
Direct all of us to your will
The way of those on whom you have bestowed your grace, not the way of those who have earned your wrath, nor of the heretic blinded to your light.

Holy shit, this thread's still up? Damn. Well I've had some sleep and I've read though my contribution >>15100818 and I can honestly say I'm not very proud of it. Do you guys want to keep it or discard it, because someone might be able to do the Chapter's hero more justice that I did not to mention the Glistering Host.

The Emperor is supreme and I am his warrior

(a play on "God is supreme and Muhammed was his profet)

>>15105455
god, that sounded terrible but you get what I'm going with here.

>>15105347

I liked the drop pod speech ("SHOW THEM WHO WE ARE") is awesome, but the Host parts did feel kind of disjointed. Rather than discard it completely, feel free to edit the story and improve on it. I'd hate to see it go to waste, it has good bits.

>>15105312
the first half is good, although i'd change the word 'possesser' to 'determinant.' i believe this chapter worships the living emperor -that is, the man and the set of ideals he represented when he was alive.

>>15105347
lol; that happens. i wrote some crap about agga last night that i cringe at now. i think if this stuff is posted onto a wiki, better writers than us can come in and edit our words.

>>15105455
in a chapter where dreadnoughts are helmed by agga soaked champions, i think it's a bit presumptuous for any marine to claim he is a warrior. how about:

''the emperor is supreme and i am his humble servant"

-it sets the tone for any nearby citizenry who are wondering who or what the hell just dropped out of the sky

>>15105574
"Humble servant" works way better, yeah.

>>15105530
So many of these things.

SO MANY.

Soon shall we cast terror into the hearts of the heretics!
Think not of those who are slain in Emperor's way as dead. Nay, they live, finding their sustenance in the presence of the Lord of Man.
Those who believe fight in the cause of the Emperor, and those who reject his Creed fight in the cause of evil: So fight ye against the friends of Chaos: feeble indeed is the cunning of Chaos
Taste ye then of the (punishment): for those who resist the Emperor, is the penalty of his wrath

>>15105561
Alright, I'll review it later. Shall we put it on the wiki temporarily? I think i'll try and revise it when the Host guys get some more fluff written, get a better feel of their characterisation. I kind of fixated on the "they like the feel of blood on them" thing.

>>15105574
I dunno. While that does go with the slight PROGRESS! angle of the chapter, it also kind of clashes with the whole Omnisiah thing and the "Fuck you AdMech, this is a stupid differentiation".

It's also easier for the Islam elements to come into play if they actually worship the Emperor.

>>15105574
also, there's a fun little dichotomy between 'humble servant' and being clad in proud colors, while shouting loudly and ripping things to pieces :p

>>15105663
'go do it, champ'

i haven't been following the glittering host thread at all, and now i'm curious; what legion are they descended from? and why slaanesh?

i thought about contributing some stuff about a quasi-christianity themed chaos legion, but in the end i couldn't decide between the different chaos gods. in the end, i think if they were a word bearers legacy legion, we could have the most fun exploiting parallels between each of the four gods and the different versions and tendencies of christianity that have occured throughout history. -hell, you could even have different sects of the same legion fighting with each other over which aspect of chaos is more holy.

-speaking of which, now we have got to create an athiest analog in 40k; the brewing shitstorm demands it!

>>15105729
i like the heretical touch of not worshipping the golden throne, but that's just my personal taste. come to think of it, maybe that's TOO heretical.

>>15105758
To keep it short (and greentext'd)
>Blood Angel successor called Blood Dragon
>About to fall to Khorne, they turned to Slaanesh
>Instead of Red Thirst and Black rage they now feel bliss, happiness and extacy.
>Are very thankfull for this, praise The Dark Prince and thank him for his gifts
>Mutaded skin that allows them to absorb blood, this ofcourse feel awesome.
>Heavy on the Angelic theme, prehaps as a taunt towards their Blood Angel heritage.

>>15105758
They have a thread here, >>15094060, I'm sure they can explain them better than I can.

They come from the Blood Angels, they fell to Slaanesh to avoid succumbing to the Black Rage. I believe this is the relationship we've established so far, might need to double check with them:
>Brotherhood and Host were bros and did a crusade together against teh Orkz, Host called the Blood Dragons back then
>Blood Dragons find Andalus, the now brotherhood world.
>Full of multi factioned christian inspired Khorne cults and a Jewish inspired non-Chaos cult
>Khorne cults unify somewhat
>Blood Dragons need help
>Brotherhood happen to be in the sector, doing wok for adMech. Abandon quest to help bros, AdMech pissed.
>Blood Dragons do most heavy lifting, they get world
>Run it in a manner of MAXIMUM OPULENCE, believing living in a civilised way will hold off the black rage
>Leads to nobles getting corrupted by Slaanesh cult and their eventual corruption
>Brotherhood feel slightly responsbile, try to deal with it
>Fail, call for Inquisitorial help
>Blood Dragons driven off, now Host
>Inq now more suspicious of the Brotherhood due to close connections
>Remnants of Slaanesh cult fuck up planet, Brotherhood hates them so much

And yeah there was other stuff. but they have a sort of Christian angel theme going.

>>15105863
huh. i would never have suspected it could go in that direction, but that's the beauty of group thinking, lol!

>>15100818
some notes on the jibril story:
-if the gauntlet knights' fortress monastary were called a 'land casbah' (as opposed to an orbital one), that could be a subtle hint as to the origins of the chapter; the iron hands call theirs a 'land behemoth'
-...also, casbah needs to be bastardized a bit. perhaps 'kasbarh'?
-i think it'd be good if we added 'we are his janissaries' (loyalists) before 'we are brothers'
-'al-moor' seems a bit too obvious; how about 'al-mar'?
-'andalus' also seems a bit obvious; how about 'anderluus'?

>>15105928
Bad writefag here, noted. I think you're right on all account but Andalus, I like the name. It's kind of obscure and it's got a very planet like ring to it.

>>15105928
I disagree with the name changing stuff. Especially for the Casbah. Part of this chapter's fluff is that they're quite different from their progenitor. Besides, they don't need a mobile fortress like a land behemoth on an airless moon.

Not to mention the Brotherhood needs to be able to rock the Casbah!

So guys I was thinking of a battle cry and it occurred to me: What's the most well known Islamic battle cry, ancient and part of the faith. Allahu Ackbar, Allah is Great.

Also on the names things, I like the home worlds name. The moor reference could be disguised. The main casbah, the one the Marines stay on, should be in space however the large temple could be called the "Land Casbah" colloquially as a reference. And I like the Janisarries bit too.

The Chapter does have an extremely strong reverence for the Emperor. Perhaps their battle cry is simply The Emperor is Great? Or something similar. The use of great in english doesn't quite have the same feel. The Emperor is Mighty? The Emperor is Power? Something along those lines. What do you think?

>>15106355
Put it in High Gothic, maybe? Imperator est Valde.

>>15106355
'revere the mighty emperor' has a nice ring to it... but that's not a good analogue at all.

in the first thread, someone suggested a phrase that begins with 'antarrah, cataphracti...' under the supposition that 'antarrah' means great.

the wiki page indicates that 'antarah' is the name of an arabic hero (-and by the way, we've got to find a way to use the awesome name 'shaddad'), but supposing it also does means 'great,' 'antarrah cataphracti' is a good catchphrase for regarding the 'cataphracts,' which are champions entombed in dreadnoughts.

>>15106406
that sounds good. not very arabic, but still good!

>>15106563
"the emperor is righteous; revere the mighty emperor!"

>>15106586
>>15106406
I think I prefer the high gothic. It's quick, snappy. Something that could be yelled out by brother marines in the heat of battle. It lacks an arabic sound but it's a more direct link to the line Allah is Great.

I'm getting pretty tired, is someone going to update the wiki with all the new stuff? I might do it in the morning if nobody does it while I sleep.

>>15105928
>>15105928
one more thing. lets change the name 'jibril' to 'jibraeil,' which has a more angelic feel.

amazingly, jibril translates into gabriel. i can't think of anything witty to say to that, but hum, that's interesting.

if there's anyone who speaks arabic reading; how would 'gabriel angelos' sound translated into arabic?

>>15106213
>>15106355
i like the idea of referring to the moon based fortress monastary as the 'land casbah' because that suggests there is another one hidden somewhere.

-the thing about the iron hands is, there are many separate groups with their own land behemoths. perhaps more than one of these groups split off to form the brotherhood of the gauntlet.

also, this chapter is already _very_ different from their progenitors; it's still in the air whether or not they know who their progenitor chapter is, so i like leaving little clues that hint at who they might be.

I don't think we should take out all the Moorish references and/or try to disguise them, it detracts from the flavor of the chapter.

>>15106695
Yeah, Jibril is the Islamin name of Gabriel. Gabriel, not Michael, is the strongest angel in Islam.

Another version of Jibril is Jibraaiyl, is that more angely? It's still the Islamic name for the angel.

>>15106791
no one is suggesting to take them out, but i don't think we should beat people over the head with the fact that these are specifically arabic/islamic/moorish/middle-eastern inspired.

>>15106820
that sounds cool. the main reason i opted to change the name is because i don't want it to be too obvious. -and also, imo, 'jibril' doesn't sound as cool as 'jibraeil' or 'Jibraaiyl.'

>>15106859
you know what, i take back what i said about the name jibril; the phrase, 'antarrah jibril' (presuming antarrah means great) sounds great. in fact, the word 'antarrah' just sounds fantastic as an honorary.

janissary> 'antarrah, jibril! with your guidance, we will surely win!'
dread jibril> 'YES, THE ENEMY SHALL BE GROUND TO DUST BENEATH MY ARMORED BOOT... COME WITH ME BROTHER, AND WE SHALL SING THE SONGS OF VICTORY AS THE ENEMY FALLS TO THEIR DEATHS ...'

>>15107021
Antarah means "heroic" but the meaning comes across.

Alright guys, so I've been tooling around with some color schemes for the Emperor's Champion, or Maalik, as I believe we are now calling them.

I went with black and gold because I figured that like one anon suggested previously they could have arabesque calligraphy on their armor. The calligraphy would be in gold so it would match the trim. Every one of the marines' great deeds would be written on his armor in calligraphy, this would take the place of purity seals.

>>15107164
He looks very much the business.

Also I approve our chapter's heroes being referred to as Antarahs. Perhaps all Dreads are called Antarahs?

>>15107164
that black is a little... too black. but i like where you're going. perhaps that can be the color of the chapter masters, as the emperor's champion is here: >>15093657

also, perhaps the chapter masters should be called 'maaliks,' and the emperor's champion a 'delil,' to take after these guys: http://translate.google.com/translate?js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=
1&sl=de&tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fde.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FDeli_%2528Soldat%2529

>>15107243
the dreadnoughts are called 'cataphracts' -the direct translation meaning 'enclosed,' and the colloquial meaning being 'knight.' perhaps antarrah could refer to the venerable dreadnoughts, although i like it as a general honorific.

>>15107304
my thinking is, a maalik is a 'guardian' of hell; the word connotes judgement and protection, which befits a chapter master. the emperor's champion is more a 'bringer' of hell.

-by the way, i'm imagining the silver armor of the emperors champion would be adorned with 2-tone silver and black (or super-dark green) feathers, and wing motifs, to hearken to the delil. if i were good with photoshop, i'd draw for y'all my imaginings. as it is, i'm left to describing my thoughts.

-actually, the whole thing about that silver and black-green armor is that it's glinting and glimmering, so much so that it's distracting and difficult to discern.

that kinda gels with the name of the chapter's enemies, the glimmering host. perhaps there could be some connection between the name of the chaos chapter and the glimmering delil, such as an omen: 'the chapters ills will finally be sated when they are visited by the glimmering host.'

captcha: computer sposso

>>15107472
>>15107472
"-although the black rage threatens to consume the Blood Dragons, the chapters' ills will finally meet their End when they are visited by the Glistening Host."

it ties in quite well with the whole 'return of jeeeezus' and 'the end of days' thing, and the fact that christians and muslims actually worship the same god, but many of them don't know it.

-not to say that the emperor's champion is the emperor, but a prophet of the emperor? absolutely.

How about referring to the Emperor's Champion as "Azrael", the angel of death in the Islamic religion. Seeing as how the Emperor's Champions are drugged out of their fucking minds and they usually wind up dying in a blaze of glory while bringing death to their foes, I think it fits. Also, when a battle brother become the Emperor's Champion, he forfeits his name, he's called Azrael, it's less of a job title, more of a tradition.

>>15107560
i like that!

my instinct is to shorten it to 'azra,' so there is no confusion with the 'azrael' of the dark angels.

'the azra jibril...' it's got a nice ring to it!

>>15107587
Totally forgot about him!
What if I tacked on an Arabic/Biblical sounding suffix?
How about Azraiah?
Azraheem?
Azraif?
Azraius?
Azrabdul?

Also, the founder of the chapter should be Abraham.

>>15107659
those all sound good!

"the asrabdul, jibril..." <- this one sounds appropriately arabic.
'the azraius jibril...' <- this sounds more prototypical 40k
'the asraif jibril...' -<- this looks like it could be mispronounced
'the asraheem jibril...' <- this also sounds arabic; reminds me of the term 'broheim'

speaking of which, maybe instead of calling each other 'brother,' these marines could refer to each other as 'broheim' -which is actually german, if the urban dictionary can be trusted, but it sounds foreign enough.


on a side note: i have a big problem with calling the airless rock on which the fortress monastary resides 'jannah,' if that word indeed means 'paradise.'

how can an airless rock be paradise? or is this more of that ironic name... or does it hearken to a metaphorical 'paradise' that one reaches upon unity with the emperor's teachings?

we need to flesh out the moon more. what are its atrributes, how much is the land being utilized, what is being stored on the fortress monastary there...

captcha: term storcv

>>15107783
I think one idea was that the indigenous religion, which was supposed to be based on Judaism, believed that the moon was heaven.

>>15107783
hey, i got an idea -and maybe it's a dumb one, but here goes...

since the chapter is ruled by a council of five, how about if we split the chapter five ways -much like their progenitor chapter is split (it's another clue, and not _too_ obvious, i think)-, and each of them regard the emperors champion by a different name; that way, all five names can be used.

having the chapter divided five ways would also explain why they take such a distant view upon their recruiting world; each chapter master is reluctant to cast judgement upon the world, lest he step on another chapter masters toes...

...and it's difficult to convene the council, because all five ... caravans (?) ... of the chapter are constantly on crusade, which is the reason why they were founded in the first place.

...and perhaps this is another function of the quub, and perhaps the soulstone like device actually IS a soulstone -but the living silhatar don't know it-, that lets the marines communicate with each other across tremendous distances - and one marine must first make the journey down to the quub, as this function must be activated locally.

>>15107783
>>15107659
>>15107587
>>15107560
Alright, so I did a little more research, and the angel of death in Islam is actually called Malak al-Maut. We can just shorten that to Malak!