I Wish they were dead.

Now it's nap time!

make the bitch fight himself to the death

I... I... I TURN HIM INTO A FROG!!

>>15077415

this, only while he is nailed to the sky

Nothing. Not yet. Not when they're expecting it.

That would be too easy. Too quick. Too kind.

>>15077415
FUCKING WATER TEMPLE

YOU SHALLNOT PISS!

(Flesh to stone on their respective urinary tracts)

what could've pissed me off? i'm a wizard
i can solve shit in seconds
and kill the person in another second, it's not like it takes that much work.

turn his blood into bees
BEEEEEEES!

Forgive him. Violence gets us nowhere.

>>15077392
Why punish just him? Allow him to have children and allow those to have children of his own, and let your wrath fall on each successive generation.

It's a mirror right? Cry moar.

Locate City bomb focused on his home town. Finger of Death on everyone he cares for. Kill him, Create Greater Undead to turn him into some form of sentient undead, cut his head off, put head in jar, keep jar in my study.

Put him to sleep..
Draw penises all over his body with a magic marker.

>>15077483
>>15077494
ITT: Wizards are dicks. Sometimes on an epic scale, sometimes on a drunken teenager level. But regardless, dicks.

Make him immortal, replace his blood with slow acting acid, his piss with sand and his shit with caltrops. I also give him eternal explosive diarrhea. Then I teleport him to the plane of always stubbing your toe on furniture.

I would first invite him over for a salad.

I would make a really delicious salad. I'm talking tossed with multiple types of lettice, some feta cheese, strawberry vinegrette, ground peppercorn, nine options for dressing, the whole works.

I would offer him the fork. I have enchanted this fork. It is a vorpal fork. It has a one in twenty chance to decapitate someone.

Then I watch him pick up the fork, spear a forkful of the greatest salad ever made, and then bring that fork up to his mouth.

"What's with all the plastic wrap on the furniture?" he asks.

"Oh nothing. Just there to prevent messes. Why don't you have another bite?"

>>15077524
I think
>>15077483
Goes a little bit beyond just 'dickish', but I am sure there is more jackassery to be wrung from that.

I cast shapechange, take on the form of an imposing, preferably clawed, creature, and enjoy the simple pleasure of ripping him to shreds.

>>15077705
That's great. You're great.

It would depend entirely upon just what the individual did to piss me off. The crime must fit the punishment, after all.

For example, the person in front of my just struck my youngest daughter?

I reduce his entire bloodline to ash, and bury him alive in the ashes, where he can remain alive, awake, and aware for the rest of eternity.

You know, justice.

>>15077392

I'd give him a ring that would send him to the plane of positive energy whenever he would near death, and then plane shift him back where he was right before he explodes with positive energy.

I'd then send him to the plane of negative energy.

i would forgive him because thats what Jesus(Wiz20/Clr20/Barb10) would do

>>15077771
Wizard justice is more fun than standard justice, apparently.

I would use mindrape on his friends and family, lock him in a room with them, and then have them all call him bad names!


Then eat him while he's still alive or something.

Cast desiguse self, so I now seem to everyone to be him. Bang his woman till she's carrying my child, Then ruin him, and ensure the local law enforcement is after him. Then while he's in jail pending trial I cast dominate person on his woman, and make sure she is mine, or my slave either works.

Have her break his heart into a thousand pieces, as this should lead him to suicide. This should be perfect revenge.

>>15077851
Oh, then I would soul gem or steal his soul before he died and teleport him into a giant's ass.

That'll teach him for cutting in line.

I place a curse on one of his joints, such that it will cause extreme pain randomly when moved, such that it has about a 1 in 20 chance or so at causing pain upon being moved. Every time it causes pain, the curse will spread to the two nearest joints as well, but will be twice as likely to be triggered, until it moves to all his joints, and even the slightest vibration that enters his body will cause his entire being to be wracked with the most terrible pain known to mankind. However, this pain does no actual damage to his body, yet nothing can ease the pain, no medications, nothing. And on top of that, there is another curse that makes him immortal,so he cannot kill himself nor be mercy killed by someone else.

i crash land on that mother fuckers face in this thing and so utterly destroy them that they are wiped out of existence of the past future BAMF!!!

>>A man cuts in line
>>I make him watch as I murder his family
>>Then I make sure no one remembers his name
>>Then I make him undead so he can live forever with the memories
>>Justice. For that man was a raging dick.

tell him that i will write him a very disapproving letter, but it will explain how to atone for his personal slight against me

actually do it, but put an exploding rune near the end of the letter. then wait for the post

then ask him if he read my letter the next time i see him. inquire if he really did if he lies. then threaten his life directly until he reads it

Beat his ass.

you've robbed me of 20 games of galaga, I'm gonna hatefuck the crowd with magic

I make him immortal. Then I teleport him into a sensory deprivation tank on the Negative Energy Plane, with nothing to do for all eternity, except read the Twilight Series I so helpfully provided.

Polymorph them into a monster and use Geas to kill everyone they love. If he doesn't love anyone then just bind his body however possible and use summons to rape them to death.

>>15077889
Wizard justice: Pay evil unto dickery.

I like it.

Locate City Bomb.

ALL IN A 200 MILE RADIUS MUST SUFFER FOR HIS CRIME.

Baleful Polymorph.

Polymorph him into a human who's aorta empties into his lungs. Quick death, but lots of discomfort.

>>15077910
>>Nothing to read for all eternity but Twilight
YOU. UNFORGIVABLE. MONSTER.

>>15077851
>>15077869
>>15077889
Wizards sometimes have startlingly similar ideas of justice I suppose.

>>15077392
>What do you do?
See pic.

hold person
gental repose
forever

>>15077910
Then he could just fap himself to sleep, then wake up and do it again, and so on...
Also, people here sure are twisted. I'll bet you have huge guro folders hidden somewhere.

>>15077936
Absolute power makes all those little frustrations opportunities for elaborate, evil revenge. Power corrupts, yadda yadda

>>15077954
I just assume he was a real jerk to me. Like, what would you do with godlike power if someone, I don't know, cut in line or made fun of your wizardly beard? Have you no WIZARDLY HONOR?

Level 10 enchantment from book of vile darkness in 3rd ed, Mindrape
Rewrite him as an adoring fan that would die for me, ask him to die for me.

>>15077924
Alternate:
Grab him, then teleport 400 feet into the air. Let him go, then dim-door back to the ground.

Alternate: Planeshift him to the elemental plane of...I dont know, broken glass or something. Or maybe one of those exploding head planes.

Alternate: Summon Swarm: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Alternate: Summon a bioplasm that invades his body through his mouth, insinuates itself into his lungs and digestive tract, then starts to expand until he ruptures internally.

I'm a green/blue mage.

>>15077392
I magic all the legged furniture in his home to be missing exactly .3cm from one of their legs.
His furniture will eternally wobble, or he will be moderately inconvenienced it finding something to prop them up with.

Then, I will sneak into his home with magic, and lick all his food.

Then, I will put milk into his cereal box (in the bag), then put the cereal into the milk carton (if its plastic and translucent/transparent, this plan is being rethought). When he wakes up, he will pour sour milk into cold cereal.

Then, I will go fill out some sweepstakes raffles using his home and contact information, so that he will be further moderately inconvenienced every day by spam advertisement mail.

Then, I will plant a seed of doubt in his mind that he likes men.

Then I will make all the carbonated drinks he loves lose their carbonation enough so that they aren't truly flat, but are not carbonated "enough" either.

Then, I am going to take his aluminum foil and plastic wrap rolls, unfurl them to their ends, crumple them, then roll them back up.
He will never have non-crinkled aluminum foil or plastic wrap until he either uses up the vandalized ones, or wastes his money by discarding them and buying new ones.

>>15077988
Red mage: BURN HIS ASS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
White Mage: PURGE HIM OF ALL IMPURITIES, UP TO AND INCLUDING HIS LIFE!
Black mage: Suck his life out and use it to fuel your own

>>15077936
There's probably an ancient codex of Wizard Justice. Wizards do not, as has been speculated, lack a sense of right and wrong; they merely operate on an esoteric concept of legality that we mundane folk cannot comprehend. If they deviate from these old laws, they lose their power.

It's all standard practice.

>>15077705
ABSOLUTE CUNT! The worst part is, the fork probably phases thorough the salad!

>>15077854
I don't think I've been corrupted by power that much...

I offer some tea, as I am not a brute.

We discuss our problems in my magical borg cube, playing videogame and traveling through time

Rape him to death, eat his flesh, and sew his skin into my clothing.
And if he's really lucky, I'll do it in that order.

I will then make a 1mm-diameter hole in all his alcoholic drinks so that they will slowly go bad, and the hole will be too small to normally notice.

Then, I will replace his vehicle's break pads with used, screechy ones.

Then I will switch his shoes around so that he's further inconvenienced by wasting time in the morning putting his feet into the wrong shoes, realizing it, then doing it correctly.

Then I will find every clock and timepiece in his home, and make it so that they are all off by up to two minutes, plus or minus.

Then I will use his commode and not put the toilet seat up, but then wipe away all of my escaped urine but a few tiny drops. These drops will dry into obvious and disgusting, tiny, yellow spots that will be disgusting to clean, knowing they are not his.

>>15078036
Presumably this victim was seen jaywalking.

I create a finite demiplane called "The Dentist's Waiting-Room."

The walls are beige. The carpet is taupe and just a bit too thick. The chairs have ratty red upholstery and are weirdly itchy. It smells, just on the edge of perception, of hand sanitizer, chloroform, and dried vomit. People are always getting in to see the dentist just ahead of you even if you were there over three hours before them. A frazzled fat woman is clutching a sticky baby, not even caring when he's wailing his head off or throwing his used lolipops at you. Whenever you tap on the glass to ask what's going on or to see the nurse, they tell you they'll be right with you if you'll sit down for five minutes. A television is in one of the corners, playing on endless loop a film of a chimpanzee being taught proper oral hygiene, and the volume is just a little bit too loud, but there's a piece of paper attached to the bottom of the screen asking you to please not touch the controls. If you want to read anything, there's always the November 1997 issue of Time Magazine. The only exit is through to the linked demiplane "The Dentist's Chair".

I trap the person responsible for pissing me off in this demiplane for all eternity.

flesh to stone on his fucking eyeballs

>>15077870
Alright, new punishment. I turn his appendix and one of his kidneys into cats, which immediately burst out of his body violently. These cats are immortal,and his organs regrow immediately. However, they will continue to randomly turn into cats again and burst from his body. For all eternity. Also, the cats hate him.

I create a golem or something or raise the undead one at a time and I order it to just follow him around everywhere he goes. Absolutely no harm, but it will watch him while he sleeps, eats, or whatever else. If it's destroyed, I'll create a new one. If he dies, I'll have him resurrected.

Then, I will magic all his belts to be slightly too tight, so that when he goes to dress for work, he will not only find that all his belts are now uncomfortable, but he will also assume he has gained weight.

And then, I will plant crabgrass on his lawn, so that it colonizes it, and won't get removed unless e specifically targets it and whatever patches it has spread to.

Polymorph said person into a baby

Hold Person

nope im not gonna finish this so ANON YOU DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS!

>>15078087
You MONSTER

CRAB GRASS IS SUCH A BITCH

SUCH. A. BITCH.

I create a golem, turn it into a perfect copy of his one true love, and fuck the shit out of it while he watches.

Then, I will magic acne upon him that breaks out when he is more stressed than normal.

Then, I will dull all the knives in his kitchen when he is eating steak.

Then I will hang around him at another time of day, humming and/or singing a popular song, which will get will get stuck in his head enough that he is driven slightly to find out the song's name and lyrics so that he can satisfy his interest.

And then I will give his children energy drinks when they should be studying and doing their homework.

And with those same children, I will pique their interest in sexual education, then pass them off to their father for the awkward explanation.

And then I will smudge all his windows and mirrors with finger grease.

"Ah, the hero of legend!"

"Are you talking to me?"

"Yes the hero of legend! The invincible hero that was foretold! With power over the elements! Strength to move mountains!"

He's doubtful at first. But when he sarcastically throws a limp punch at the nearest boulder it explodes with him bearing nary a scratch. He rises into the air, held aloft by what can only be his force of will. Wherever he points, objects melt or crumple. He drives a dagger into his chest only to have the metal shatter against his skin.

"Now you must go invincible hero! The dragon's cave is miles to the east! This is your destiny, a destiny foretold of the first of many heroic exploits!" Then I watch him fight a dragon when my spells wear off.

If male, I use a Persisted Reverse Gender on the guy that pissed me off, then I use a Persisted Orgasmic Vibrations on him. Then I leave him alone in his own home.

If female, I do the same thing.

whynot.jpg

>>15078146
how do i go about pissing you off?

>>15078117
"Hey dad, what's a rim job?"
"Uh..."
"The creepy guy with the beard and pink bathrobe outside my window told me to tell you gave him one"

Then, I will wait until he is masturbating and/or having sexual intercourse. At which point I will magically create a situation in which he must be drawn away from his pleasure for at least 10 minutes and must be resolved immediately, so that he cannot achieve orgasm and that he will be miffed that he was interrupted.

And in the Summer, I will leave his windows open, so that his home becomes humid and hot.

I will then offer to buy him a beer, but bring him an off-brand one that I say that I recommend (but secretly don't).

Then I will improperly wash all his used silverware, so that there are soap spots on them.

Then I will magically weaken the fabric of all his socks just enough so that when he pulls them on too quickly, they create a hole at the seams. These holes will be very inconveniencing over time.

When he is gone, I will teleport into his room and masturbate. When he returns, he will find his room humid, and smell spent semen and sweat.

Then, I will make sure every day that the daily paper which he receives hits the mud or puddles so that they are wet and annoying to both pick up and read.

Then, I will accompany him on the bus and sit next to him so that the cannot enjoy sitting alone and be slightly cramped. I will also not try and keep my space to a certain degree, and will act like my legs and elbows touching his does not bother me. This will make him very annoyed about his personal space, but be too polite to say anything about it.

>>15078166
Jaywalking, cutting in line, use of 'like' as a preposition, chewing gum too loudly, and liking shitty things tends to annoy wizards.

>>15078166
Talking in theaters for one. Also chewing loudly or with your mouth open. The latter seriously bugs me. Like *seriously* bugs me.

>>15078036
win

>>15078192
>>15078177
IIT: Get nowhere near wizards, as they are mighty and swift to wrath.

>>15078204
And amazingly petty.

I make it so that the only thing he can sustain himself on is other people's hats.

>>15078212
You would curse him to being a tf2 addict?

Then, I will come into his home one day, and ask to use the bathroom "because it is an emergency." There, I will have diarrhea and when I exit and thank him, he will be inconvenienced with a smelly bathroom for a certain amount of time.

Then, I will put a small amount of tap water into his distilled and bottled water, instantly removing their heavy-free quality.

Then, I will offer to fold all his clothing, but then do it badly, so that when he takes his clothing out for the day, he finds that they are slightly wrinkled.

Then I will magic myself invisible and follow him around and silently pass gas. He will eternally wonder who is silently farting near him, causing him to get annoyed from the smell.

And then I will teleport into his home while he is gone and switch around all his toilet paper rolls from the orientation he normally favors.

>>15078220
>>No sense of right and wrong.

I will curse him so that his ice always clumps at the bottom of his glass with the last of his drink, so that when he tilts it far enough to drink that last little bit, all the ice falls to the mouth of the glass and splashes his drink all over his face and shirt.

And then I will remove all of the bleach and laundry detergent from his city.

>>15078198
Wizards have a sense of right and wrong.

We are simply not obligated to follow it.

It's a she.
Why?
Two words: Womb Dagger.

>The person responsible is standing before you.
Kill them using as few spell slots as possible.

After all, I'm going to be pissed off beyond all reason at least 7 more times before bedtime.

Then I will remove all his bookmarks from his books (dogears included), so that he no longer can quickly find his favorite or last parts he read.

Then I will paint a single small portion of his home, and/or mow a small portion of his lawn. These will force him to repaint his house and mow his lawn so that the jobs are even.

Then, just before he wakes, I will hide his keys, and given the right setting, hide his TV remote in places in plain view, but not places where he normally puts them, so that he will not think to look there.

Then I will fake being a customer who was displeased with his service at his place of employment, earning a lecture from his manager-figure.

>>15078176

>>15078270
I do really like you.
Please do go on.

>>15078270
You really have nothing better to do with your time other than slightly annoy this fellow, do you?

I assume that this will somewhere along the line come to a head

>>15077475
A generation curse - poor, venereal diseases, ugly, stupid.. and make it so a kernal of his consciousness is embedded into each new generation, so once he's dead he can never rest and knows what has has done to his line.

Then I will shave his balls during a timestop, making the hair regrowth process itchy and so that he will have the urge to scratch his balls in public.

Then, I will replace his salt with magic salty salt that is too salty when placed on food.

Then I will use magic to have a "nigger" person of color hired at his workplace, so that he will have to deal with a constantly loud and noisy person that not only causes racial guilt and unwarranted insults that he will have to deal with, but also causes him to look badly on another race of innocent people because of the example of one person.

>>15078294
give him Huntington's Disease. It's genetic, and gets worse each generation.

I twist his mind so that he cannot be sexually aroused at all. His mind will be barren, devoid of any arousing thoughts, that he cannot find himself able to achieve an erect penis with medicine, magic, or even the hottest of the PlayOrc magazines. Nothing will bring him relief, not even furiously masturbating a flaccid penis.

However, there is a second part to this spell. Whenever he becomes tired and is requiring of sleep, he becomes almost painfully erect, far past the point in which he cannot sleep. Whenever he attempts to relieve these feelings, however, he sadly returns to his sheer impotence. He will eternally suffer between a constant flux of being completely and utterly unable to sexually satisfy himself, and an equally tormenting lack of sleep.

I am a wizard. My magic is mighty, and my will indomitable. With my power the very warp and weave of reality is at my beck and call, and woe unto those who dare anger me, for they will no naught but hell.

"I wish you were angry, instead of me."

Picture happens. Lose a chunk of experience. Go home. Tell my familiar that being Lawful Good is very fulfilling.

Cry in the dark.

I will enchant his toaster to burn every piece of bread he puts into it.

>>15077902

Don't you have to do something big to piss off a wizard? Like kill his familiar, or destroy his castle?

>>15078292
If you are a level 20 wizard, with god-like abilities to do whatever you want to a person, for very long expanses of time, without relent, a human lifetime of innumerable small, unstoppable annoyances will not be a significant price to pay to wreak havoc on someone you hate.

Like you.

I cast reduce person targeting his lungs and bladder.

>>15078346

>>15078344
>>He thinks high level wizards are reasonable, logical people with a measure of restraint over their tempers

>>15078346
I imagine petty squabbles between level 20 wizards quickly spiral out of control into century long pissing matches, with no possible end in sight as both parties are far too amused to stop pissing off the other.

At least in theory that's what would happen

To finish things, I will invisibly stalk him and find out the dirty/disgusting but otherwise harmless bad habits he has, then reveal them to his co-workers and peers. Then I will curse him so that everyone who can see him knows telepathically when he last did those habits.

Then I will gently molest him in an uncomfortable manner which he does not like and that makes him feel bad, disappear, and continue to do it when he is in states of stress and slight emotional instability.

>>15078384
That is how the Myth, Inc series kicked off, so I can dig it.

I piss a little in his coffee. Every day.
There will be no end to the salty, off-tasting morning coffee.

>>15078386
You are just a bad person.

...

Do go on.

>>15078407
I think it's finished.
And I know to never piss off wizards.
Jesus christ this is horrifying and hilarious.

>>15078384
Theoretically they could literally have century-long pissing matches just to try and spite each other.

>>15078450
Wizards: Trolls trolling trolls?

>>15078392
I FUCKING LOOOVE THE MYTH SERIES!!!

>>15078440
Wizards possess both nigh infinite time as well as near infinite power. It's the perfect shitstorm waiting to happen at any given moment.

I kill him with whatever finally drops him should his transgressions warrant it. No torture, or defiling of the corpse, hell, disintegrate if I have it and I'm not going to be using it soon.

Because I did not spend gods know how many years learning how to make physics and thermodynamics weep to get some holier-than-thou wizard hunter and his sect on my ass because I went off and tortured someone. Sure, I could probably slay a couple, but spells run out.

And really? At that point, I'm researching epic spells. I get to make stuff named after me that will result in shock and awe for all watching the display.

Unless, of course, I'm dealing with a pedophile.

Then I paralyze him and make him piss boiling oil.

I teleport OUT of the game and paint 1's over the 20's on all of his player's d20s.

>>15078459
so after a while wizards just become Djinn?

Turn his skin into beef jerky.

>>15078128
Tangentially related

ITT Wizards = dicks

I will curse his ears so that every musical note he hears sounds slightly out-of-tune.

>>15078476
summon swarm toothless chihuahua

>>15078517
And then, and THEN, I continue the curse to make him NEVER hear the last note of a scale.

I make his dearest loved one punch him square in the nads as hard as they can and call it even.

Oh, and I give the punch puppet a castle or something. Subverting someone's free will without tipping is just plain rude.

>Get pissed
>Blood pressure rises
>Pounding headache begins
>Contingency spell Programmed Illusion activates

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Upm9LnuCBUM&feature=player_detailpage#t=85s

>Not even angry anymore

I enchant all of his pants' zippers to always be down, or to fall open after 30 seconds of being zipped.

>>15077705
haha

>>15077771
Dude. Creepy. If someone I knew wrote this, I'd be a little uncomfortable around them from then on.

Make the person he love or care the most about fight him.
inb4hereversethisbythepoweroflove

That spell from Book of Vile Darkness that makes the enemy immortal, in constant pain and unable to move in any way.

I get the fuck over it. I can rewrite the laws of physics in 6 seconds, why the fuck would I be pissed?

He raped your son.

SInce I'm a muscle wizard, I strangle him. My grapple bonus is absurd.

>>15078736
sorry, forgot
>>15078710
this is why

I cast Abyssal Fury.

I cast a charm spell that makes him like whatever edition of D&D his friends hate.

>make him immortal
>paralize his body for all eternity
>fill his pants with spiders
>seal pants

>>15078736
>>15078756
>Implying my contingency spell (fireball) didn't go off. Also implying I hadn't turned my son into a sow.

The closer you approach true godhood, the less you would be inclined to act. Assuming you apply your ever increasing omnipotence to bolster your ever increasing omniscience, you'd have recreated, experienced, and acted out and infinitude of scenarios with perfect clarity.

You know exactly how you would exact revenge. And have experienced his scintillating moans of pain and suffering. Before you even exacted revenge.

It is at that moment you would overcome the final hurdle into omnipotence, and then realize that all possible worlds of all possible states have been experienced.

Welcome to the world of Anti-Troll. You have graduated from 4chan.

>>15078793
you did turn your kid into a pig, but a pig is fine too

>>15078820
>Implying I didn't charge this man to rape my now piggy son.
>Implying I actually had time to make babies instead of ruining my country's industry/ economy with wall of iron + fabricate.

First i'd give him a phobia of spiders.
Then i'd make him immortal.
Then i'd paralize his whole body, he can still feel, he's still conscious.
Then i summon a big, black box, full of spiders.
I put him in the box.
I shoot the box into Jupiter where i know no one, will ever, ever find it.

That's for eating my last sushi roll you treasonous motherfucker.

>>15078846
That shit was centuries ago. You've had plenty of fucking time to buy the world and everyone on it. But this motherfucker raped your only "legitimate" son.

>>15078908
That.

Mother. (ok, son)

FUCKER!

I cast suggestion on the guy, and suggest he never have sex again.

>>15078944
and thus began the adventures of the man with no penis

redirect bladder to eyelids

I beat him to death with a stick.
Because when you're that mad, only physically beating him with a stick will do.

>>15077988
Just inspired a sort of fucked up idea. Here goes.

Flesh To Stone.
Stone to Mud.
Summon Swarm, bees or spiders...either is fine.
Instruct swarm to implant itself in the poor mud chap.

Craft(Sculpting) to make sure everything is in the right place, ya know except for the swarm of insects.
Mud back to Stone
Stone back to flesh.

Congratulations sir you are now FULL OF BEES!

Pic Related- Normal bees just aren't mean enough, lets do giant Asian hornets instead.

Make him immortal like me, but with the physical strength of a decrepit 90 year old all days of the week but one. Which day is random, and lasts 24 hours from when he wakes up. Watch him closely for any signs of rebellion. If he does not conceive children in ten years make a sexy and nubile woman rape him, and then force her to carry the child to term, and despise him. Give her minor insanity, shadows at the edge of her vision and voices whispering if she listens closely, that sort of thing. Drive her steadily more insane, until when she has finally given birth to the child, you give her a scalpel, and she, believing it to be evil, flays it alive and slowly kills it. She then kills herself. Force him to watch this but make him unable to let her on to my plans or interfere. Repeat, increasing the age the child is slaughtered at by one day for the first 1095 iterations, 1 week for the next 810 iterations, and one month from then on. Trap the tormented souls for my plans. Visit sporadically, witnessing the first iteration from conception to death, and then rolling dice from then on to see when I will visit and for how long, unless I have very pressing matters.

Pic related. Only I leave him alive.

This is, of course, the default answer.

Obtain the necessary components for symbols of Pain and Fear. Paralyze the person. Etch the symbols as tattoes up each of his hands. Permanency is cast on both. Irresistable dance is cast with permanency. Three wishes are made: The first grants the victim immortality and preserves his mind against insanity. The second transmutes his flesh into adamantium, rendering him immobile and unbreakable, trapped forever in own skin. The third wish binds him forever in his state, preventing him from every being saved.

He is now an unbreakable statue, conscious for all eternity. He is in unbearable pain and is terrified at all times, but he cannot die, be physically ill, or slip into the sweet release of madness. He feels the maddening compulsion to dance, but cannot move, instead tortured endlessly by his need to caper.

He will remain this way even after the universe ends, a monument of suffering.

>>15079339
>>15079308
familicide mind

If they wear glasses, magic a single, permanent fingerprint on them. When he goes to clean it off it will look like it's gone, but when he puts them on again the print will still be there.

>>15077392
Permanent hold person.
Let him starve to death or do long satisfying days of waterboarding.
Or give the enemy to the elves as a gift as a rape toy.

Let him know that I'm going to end him at some point.

Then grant him unending life and walk away.

He'll spend the rest of eternity fearing a sudden and abrupt end.

I will make him my slave who beats up his own friends and familly members while serving me with warm tea.

Maybe I can forgive him.

>>15080540
But don't expect mercy like that when you killed someone.

>>15080367
You sick motherfucker.

>>15078486
That is the best thing I have read in weeks.

>>15080570
ARRRGH I HATE YOU.

Firstly, if he doesn't already have bad eyesight, I give him bad eyesight. Not so bad that he can't see at all, just so that he needs glasses to read.

In fact, I do that retroactively, so that he always needed glasses to read. That saves me from having to conjure up glasses for him.

Then, I magically kill everyone on Earth besides him and me. He gets to escape the apocalypse inside his comfortable basement full of food, supplies and all of his favourite books, which I conjured up for him.

Then, when he sits down in his comfortable armchair to read a book, his glasses fall off and break, thus preventing him from reading his books!

>>15077392
No need for level 9 spells.

Flesh to stone on his arms
Stoneshape so his arms are 2 inches too short to reach his ass
Stone to Flesh
Curse him so that his ass will never stop itching

>>15080633
Or just polymorph other to shorten his arms and then Monster Summoning 1 (fleas) in his ass followed by a permanency.

I stab him with a sword.

First I kill a cow, hold person on him, put him in the cow so his head is coming out of it's ass, stitch it up, animate dead on the cow and have it fallow me forever. Buttstocks.

Grant him Immortality and invincibility, then curse him with quadriplegia.

Drink a potion of Calm Emotions.
Chillax. Think it through logically.
Have a beer with the guy and see what's up.

Bitch, please! I'm a sorcerer; I've got the inborn talent to make what's left of your life hell. Namely Solipism. You're one failed Will save away from thinking you're the only person left in the world...forever. Then I hit you with a casting of Flensing when the anger wells up, just to see you cry at the heavens as to why your skin is peeling off.

When I think you've finally had enough (which will probably be quite a while), I start Polymorphing you down one step at a time, to keep the change permanent, until you are cursed to be my new underwear, forever feeling, smelling, and all-around sensing my magical crotch on your being.

After a bit of that, I start improvising.

Gender bender.
Rape.
More rape until pregant.
Enforced marriage because most medieval societies are dicks like that.
Be a total Irish husband.

Cast Flay living. Then resurrect him and walk away.

Make him the only person who can see or hear me, then just follow him around and talk loudly over other who he speaks with about how he wronged me.

>>15077705
This is the greatest thing I have ever read

summon red hot metal wires to wrap around the crown of his head, and then his neck, and then his fingers. I cause these wires to tighten, and then (except for the neck wire) pull off, peeling away the skin. The wire on his neck then extends to the floor, and pulls him down onto his knees before me. i tell him to kiss my wizardy boots, and let him go if he does, not removing the neck wire as a reminder which also acts to alert me to his presence in the future. If he does not kiss my boots, then I cast a chilling spell to lower to body temperature to just tolerable limits. Then I cast a spell to bend his spine backwards, permanently and painfully, and then I invert his knees. Acid splash to the face, and then I remove his ears, tongue, nose, and eyes if the acid didn't already erode them away. I create a spell to permanently damage his stomach lining, so that he can only eat very little. If I have special sigil or trademark, and brand it onto his forehead using a hot steam spell, and then I let him go to serve as an example to others, with his mutilated face, bent-backwards spine, and inverted knees. Don't fuck with this wizard.

use magic to more or less turn mim into a statue that can think and feel, them go to a major city and using magic and gold to build/modify the sewers so that mr.douche will for ever be drowning in shit. after setting his house on fire.

>>15077705
I'm surprised no one called him out that Vorpal can only be used on a slashing weapon. Fork is piercing.

I paralyze him and then I draw silly shit, like really juvenile stuff. I'm a dumbass, poo head, dickless wonder, maybe draw a few piles of shit on him. And then I make it so that it can't be removed.
There's no revenge like petty juvenile revenge.

>>15077392
I charm them so they profusely apologize and try everything in their power to undo what has pissed me off.
Killing him doesn't gain you anything, unless you use his soul for anything, but you can always do that later. Unless he uses his own soul to undo his wrongdoings.

I put on my robe and wizard hat, and use my non-inconsequential lvl 20 attack bonus to kick the everloving shit out of him with my staff and boots.

Magic is no substitute for the feeling that comes with beating the shit out of your enemy /manually/

Either this...

>>15081482
he uses a spork with keen edges

>>15081597
...or this

I cast a permanent curse that makes it so that his reflection will always insult him and do grimaches at him, and nobody else can see it.

Pull an Agent Smith. Delete his mind and create a copy of mine in its place. The one thing that makes me maddest is idiocy. If he doesn't want to act at least half as smart as me, I will force him to BE as smart as me.

I foresee session of FATAL consisting of him and his doppelganger

How about a little ethereal copy of me, the wizard, that hangs around him and comments on all the stuff he does? Unsure if he should be the only one who can see it or not.
Hey, maybe making the little thing hang around him but have it comment on what other does would be even better. Everyone would avoid him.

Transform myself into a woman, and have sex with him.

Roundhouse him in the prick.

I would first disguise myself as that guy. Perfect copy right down to the name tag on my shirt.

Then I would seek an audience with the king during audience day.

When the king leaned down and said "What dispute can the king settle on behalf of his vassals?" I throw a pie in his face.

"Now you're a king with pie on your face! Pie all over you!"

Then escape.

>>15081482
I think there's an enchantment called Impaling that's essentially vorpal for piercing (I do know there's Impact for bludgeoning, though).

I guess that salad's just so damn good that he keeps putting it in his mouth faster and faster until a fork explodes out the back of his skull.

Pic feels related, somehow.

I conjure a dire, fiendish Pelican to nest upon his head. It is uncomfortable, shits all over him and everywhere he goes, makes horrible pelican noises, snaps at people who get close, snatches away items and food, and will occasionally fly around and mess up the place. When the Pelican dies from old age, I'll consider all forgiven.

>>15081482
Dude, vorpal can be used on piercing or slashing :P

>>15085593

My proof

>>15078386
>>15078346
>>15078314
>>15078270
>>15078225
>>15078176
>>15078117
>>15078087
>>15078052
>>15077994
>>15077392

This man is DEDICATED.

If he ever has to say the words "I am not a demon" he can only speak them in abyssal.