>Designed with the intention of being a moron
>GW Board

>What'sthedifference.jpg

Huh.

Character even has a British accent.

okay, then who's GLaDOS?

Space Combat, Space Combat, 40k's gotta have Space Combat.

Space Combat.

>>14970964
oh, nevermind, the C'tans are gonna get potato'ed.

Alright, alright, I've been reading some Machiavello, and it looks like Nicholai had some good ideas for dealing with the, uh, competition, as it were. Something about foxes and lions, if I remember correctly.

It's decided! We'll corner the furry market!

"They say the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff... of robots; all of them robots. They say at night you can still hear the screams... of their replicas; all of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they're screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way."

oh god... what have you done.
JOHNSON!!!

>>14970964
Activision.

hello there, name's Mat!

Loving this thread.

Wha? Hello, what's this? I-. Hm. You're not me! Or, maybe, you - no, no, that can't be - -I'm- me.

You must be some kind of strange imposter... sphere. That's right. That works. You're an -imposter-. Here to... impost... me. Here to soil my good name. You know, the name, I've built up, with all of its positive and admirable qualities. Th- That one.

You are quite handsome though. Have to admit it: you are a handsome devil.

So, ah... what were we talking about again? Games? Why games? And a workshop? What do we make? I mean, that kind of sounds like, um, -work-.

Well, it looks like what people want are more Marines, so I've shifted another...three, no four production lines over to them. People want Marines, right?

Oh, and I've been looking at the personnel rosters. Do we really need so many model designers? Better move a few over to Administration. Cheaper that way.

This company business really isn't that hard once you get the hang on it, is it?

>>14970998

Fact: the Matt-Sphere will never write good fluff.

Rolling BS...

You're in line of sight...

Good game...

Sweeping advance...

>>14971018
Owww yeah, marines! Marines everywhere! Man, I love these guys, full of good ol' mussels and grit! There's gotta be a holiday for it! Better than the Games' Day! Marines' Day!

Happy Marines' Day, neckbeard!

>>14971024
Yanno who cares about fluff coherence? Exactly no-one!

THe cores playing a game of DnD.

Someone make it happen.

>>14971065
Imma Barbarian!

Wait, can barbarians have guns?

Cave S. Goto?

>>14971016
Okay, -just- got the memo - they delivered it at a paper airplane. I, uh, I don't understand -why- they would do that. But they did. They totally did. It officially came this way. As an airplane.

So apparently I -am- in charge of this Game workshop now. Um... reading it through... I am supposed to... Well. Honestly I don't even know. This note just says "U r incharg". I have this suspicion that that's not even spelled right. "U R" - sounds wrong to me.

SPACE? EVERYONE LIKES SPACE. SPACE MARINES. SPACE ORKS. SPACE ELVES. SPACE EMPIRE. WITH SKULLS. IN SPACE. SHIPS IN SPACE. MARINES IN SHIPS IN SPACE. I LIKE SPACE? DO YOU LIKE SPACE? SPACE WITH SKULLS AND PAULDRONS. IN SPACE.

Cave Jervis Johnson

>>14971082
>>implying adventure core would not be a bard to get with the ladies

>>14971062
But Rick likes the ladies!

>>14971065

I sneak attack the king when he's not looking!

>>14971065
okay, so:
Wheatley: worst DM ever
Rick: MY NAME IS HUGE!
Fact core: Min-maxing rules-obsessed faggot who complains about the setting and the DMing all the time
Space Core: the equivalent of the rp-derailing furfag, except with space.

>>14971120
Alright, guys. I found this system, and I think we'll have fun with it. Lots of rules, and art. You guys like that sort of thing, right? Bit of a funny name, though. FATAL, or something like that. Let's start!

>>14971097
So games, games, games. Um. I don't really know any of those. Wait, is Dragons and Dungeons a game? I've been playing that. And "Portal" - that one was good. So, our workshop should... should make -those- then. Dragons, Dungeons, and Portals. Oh! Oh wait! Here's a little man! Hello little- oh, you don't talk. You're... you're plastic! Oh good, here I thought the smell-... the humans had gotten -smaller-. Or I'd gotten bigger.

So we make these little men then? Out of plastic? And metal? Seems like a waste of metal... Can we use something else? Like... um... cake? Little cake men? I'm sure humans would want those. No? What about- Hm? Resin? Is that those chewy chocolate candy things? Brilliant! Kids love those, right? We'll make them out of that. Little Resin-Men. Kids'll eat that right up. Mm. Resin. That's what humans say, right? "Mm"?

This job is -easy-, wow. I've only been here an hour and already got our workshop making candy for the humans.

>>14971110
Barbardian.

>>14971120

Who are you saying would be the DM, now?

>>14971138
>yfw you realize that this is completely true and explains everything about GW.

>>14971143
Bardarian.

>>14971065
I love it! I'll see if I can whip something up in a semi-organized fashion at some point. Rather than, y'know, in another "Bitch About GW"-started thread.

>>14971162
So GLADOS is bitter about Chell over the last game she derailed by getting out of the deathtrap? And she's a killer GM?

>>14971120

Nah, GLaDOS would be the killer GM, Wheatly would be the guy pushing the worst ideas ever and trying to get the group to play the worst possible games. Possibly a perpetually falling paladin, if any of his characters survive past their first session.

>>14971189
And Wheatley takes over as GM briefly, ruining GLADOS's well planned, if lethal, campaign, killing off the NPCs, and denying that he's a bad GM or railroading. (Though GLADOS did it herself too, if more smoothly...)

>>14971162

I have a new test for you. You probably won't appreciate how much work I put into it. That's alright, though, I'll still enjoy watching you all die. It's called the Tomb of Horrors.

>>14971162
that's another game, there.

GLaDOS: player-killing douchebag GM
knowledge core: like the fact core, but less dickish, more like the autistic newbie who doesn't understand what RPing means and thinks body count=score
anger core: chaotic retard, no quality RP, gets killed all the time
Morality core: Lawful supid, doesn't do shit, gets killed as well
Curiosity core: best player ever.

>>14971205
So the original game ended after Chell got pissed at GLADOS's attempt to kill her character with an inescapable deathtrap, killed the other characters, then killed the BBEG GLADOS made, thereby single-handedly ending the SCIENCE campaign? Oh, and she never got the cake loot GLADOS kept on promising.

>>14971205
So you could say it...went off the rails?

>>14971220

Nah, tabletop is what they do after Chell is gone. Portal wasn't the game they were playing. Because GLaDOS herself as a DM is infinitely more terrifying than just a DM playing an AI.

>>14971220
so, you're a gamer lady, huh? we don't see your kind around pretty often. I guess you're new at this Roleplaying thing, right? just watch and learn, I'll cover your pretty ass if things get messy.

Rick confirmed for foreveralone neckbeard.

Cave Johnson here. I can't tell you how many investors say to me, "Cave, my gaming group is a pack of furfag lickin' Mary Sue weeaboo neckbeards." Do I understand what that means? No. Do I give a good goddamn either way? Hell no! Science isn't about understanding things, it's about making what I want to happen, happen! Same thing with gaming.

So, me and the boys in the back (who will not take credit for this if they want to keep their jobs) have built the perfect replacement for your squishy little players: Game cores!

That's right, these freaky little eyeballs provide a GM with everything he needs to have a night in. Ya got your blabby one, your pretentious one, your sleazy, and your crazy one. Hell, he's kinda cute! Why did you ever play with humans in the first place, smart guy? All they do is lie around and get cancer.

I mean, these guys might GIVE you cancer, but what are you blubberin' about? Not like your lives were all that great even without the tumors.

I'm Cave Johnson, we're done here.

"You see an elven door, however it is too small for someone of your... generous...ness. You could break it though, you're pretty good at breaking things. You proved that with my last campaign even after I worked so hard to make it perfect."

>>14971251
read that aloud in may manly voice, but the resemblance almost creeped me out

>>14971205

Curiosity core:
>plays a kender
>amazingly, not as annoying as kleptomaniac cutefest kender
>still a kender
>betterthanexpectedbutstillakender.jpg

>>14971205
I must argue against your claim of GLaDOS being a player-killing GM; Her puzzles aren't actually -that- deadly, if you remember, most of the downright deathtraps in the game were ran by Wheatley. GLaDOS didn't really want you to die, she would rather see you suffer through an extended period of time.

>>14971202

"Hey, guys! I thought we could use a new race I thought up today!"
"Are they from space?"
"um. No, not really, But they're special, they're sort of twice as good as the normal ones!"

"Right so you ah, roll to climb these um, stairs here.
Oh a 20? Right I guess you ah launch yourself up with such momentum that you smash into the wall and die. I think that's how it works, I mean you are only a *human* after all right?"

>>14971283

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of the deadly neurotoxin.

>>14971205
Dark Heresy edition:
GLaDOS: Dark Heresy GM done right.
knowledge core: Techpriest; doesn't know 40k half as well as they think they do, and insist they're right. Obsessive about very odd things, like boltguns and grox.
anger core: Feral world assassin. Shouts KILL and snarls a lot.
Morality core: The one who tries applying real world ethics to 40k; gets killed by GLADOS for trying to stop the Inquisitor from doing what she wants.
Curiosity core: Void-born adept. Tends to rush in and blurt things at the worst times.

>>14971289
oh god no!

the original turrets are so cute! this thing is like a zombified baby penguin!

>>14971251
Wait is this for Chell or Gabe

>>14971283
They kinda were, those pits of deadly gas/ sludge, the turrets etc...
However
>>14971296
That was only when you were killing her.
So that was more self defence

>>14971296
"Wow, I really didn't think you would fall for that. I actually had a much better trap up ahead because I was sure you'd get past this one. If I'd known it would be this easy I would've just disguised several orcs as a barkeep."

>>14971296
Deadly? I think you forgot to mention that the "deadly" was in -massive- sarcasm quotes. Seriously, I could take a bath in this stuff, put it on my cereal, rub it straight into my eyes. It isn't deadly at all.

>>14971309
bonus if the curiosity core is a psyker. One of my players plays it like this. If his character were a girl, it'd be adorable (his character is inspired by Lucy from Elfen Lied, dammit!) but since it's male, it's just freaking funny.

Dude did hide in garbage for two hours to escape the bad guys.

I say the kenders would be the turrets.

>>14971392
Kenders would be so much better if you played them as turrets. Cute, compact, apologetic killing machines that will ask you politely to come out and apologize after stabbing you to death.

>>14971402
sure, but doesn't work with them. There's no real equivalent.

DEM TURRETS HNNNG!

>>14971392

If you imagine that the curiosity orb could move and pick things up, it'd be a kender. Tiny attention span, child like curiosity, the obsessive need to look at the next thing it notices. If it saw a closed bag it would be driven to extremes to rummage through it, then get distracted by a butterfly going past.

I'm not really a D&D fan, but would turrets work as some sort of golem construct? They will stay exactly where they are placed forever, perfectly content, until they are required to "dispense product".

>>14971519
Curiosity sphere in a clockwork version of the testing robot bodies?

GLaDOS: DM, obviously.
Wheatley: Her little half-brother who looks up to her and wants to play the game but has no clue how to play (but she lets him because Mom and Dad, who made them both, say she has to play nice).
Space Core: Excitable guy who never talks about anything but his favourite setting. Gets lost in describing things.
Adventure Core: Foreveralone Neckbeard
Fact Core: Rules lawyer
Chell: GLaDOS's sister, the only one who can consistently beat GLaDOS's dungeons, something that causes GLaDOS to hate-crush on her.

>>14971720
Chell: Daughter of GLADOS's mother's best friend.

>>14971761

I like it. That works even better.

Damnit, I'm sketching this.

GLADOS wears yellow sunglasses, then? Gladys? Maybe Gladys Johnson?

>>14970952
>mon visage quand

Unfortunately, if it actually happened, the only real change would be that it'd be called Wheately Workshop or Games Wheately.

>>14971720

"You walk into a dark hallway. The path is obscured."

"I shine a torch."

"You can't make out what's down there."

"Magical darkness huh?"

*rolls dice*

"Alright. I throw one of the goblins down there and see if he makes a noise."

"... you throw the goblin. He screams and then is suddenly silenced."

"Sphere of Annihilation in Dark Tunnel trick? Really?"

"I hate you."

"You're thrown forwards on the conveyor belt. The deadly flames jump ever higher, licking at your heels. You di-"

"I use the portal device on the plate."

"What?"

"The plate, up there, that you mentioned in the room description."

"Um..."

"I use it, and drop onto the railing. The one that was 'far above me and out of reach'"

"Um...wait, don't do that! Come back! You're supposed to die!"

>>14971784

Makani makes excellent human portal bots.
http://browse.deviantart.com/?order=9&q=by%3Amakani+GLaDOS

The artist works for Valve now, did the recent Team Fortress comic, and designed the announcer. This Glados is based on her design


>>14971943
I just tried to upload that!

>>14971720

Atlas and P-body - Pair of goofballs who GLADOS likes to DM for since they constantly get killed. They're lazy however so she just lets them re-use the same character again and again.

This picture....why boner..why?

>>14971943

... Well, fuck, that makes my job ten times easier.

I'm staring at these little blocked out figures going "What sort of hairstyle would Wheatley have?" and "Do I go with smooth angles or sharp ones for GLaDOS?"

Fuck, Wheatley even looks like GLaDOS's annoying little brother in that image.

... For the record, I am so very much not of this person's level of quality. Hot damn.

>40k
>portal
Brace yourself for this

KAVE JONSON 'ERE Iz BEN TALKIN TA MA BRAIN BOYZ 'N DEYZ SEYZ DAT DIS 'ERE MEK Iz KALLD DA SHOOTA SHOOTA. NO 'OLD UNTA YER TEEFZ FER NAW TILLZ I SEYZ WUT IT DOEZ. "ERE AT SHUTTA FINGY LAB'TORYZ WE LIKZ TA KRUMP TESTS GUD, EN DIS ERE DEVICE DOEZ JUST DAT. MOST SHOOTAZ JUST SHOOT SHOOTY FINGZ BUT DA SHOOTA SHOTA SHOOTZ MOR SHOOTAZ SO YOU CEN KRUMP FINGZ EXTRA FAST. 'HOUGH MA BRAIN BOYZ IZ STILL WERKIN OUT DA KINKZ 'N WOT NOT, SO IF DURIN DA TEST DA SHOOTA KRUMPZ YA, JUST WAIT IN THE SHUTTA FINGY ENREECHMENT FEER 'N A BRAIN BOY 'ILL BE GERE TA KRUMP YAZ MOR! YU SQUIGGY GIT YAZ NOT ORKY ENOUGH TA NOT GET KRUMPED BY SEYENCE? YUZ A GROT DATS WOT
KAVE JONSON WER DUN 'ERE

>>14972026

There's this tumblr too. Well worth checking out.
http://ren-ne-rei.tumblr.com/tagged/portal_2


Atlas & Peabody!

>>14972026
on the upside, I'm sure your art could be worse than it is.

Oh. Uh, alright. Apparently, players. Our customers. Customers. Custo-Oh right yes, Our players aren't too happy, not very chuffed, satisfied, with one of the Employees. Matthew Ward. Warrrd. Warrrrrrd.

Anyway, I reassigned him! I looked over the money intake, big room o' gold. Loads of it! And I saw that one of the ventures, Warhammer Fantasy, isn't making as much gold! Just a trickle, like a stream of water next to Warhamemr Fortythousands unsteady river!

So, he's back there now and Gav Thrope, funny name, anyway, he asked if he could have Matthews job.

This things easy, I reckon a smelly human could do this! Not half as well of course, but they'd manage.

>Portal 2 'bots playing D&D
Oh, that sounds like a really funny thing. I bet that would be really funny.
>Turn them all into humans
What? Bu- Huh? Why? WHY?

>>14972101
Hands.

>>14972101
Why not both? I can just imagine a ring of turrets...

All Kender party?

>>14972069
a gun. That makes big holes. not portals, regular holes.

>>14972101

I think it was more imagining them as players of D&D at this point. Nothing to stop it being both though.

This guy mainly plays on IRC, for instance.

>>14972117
human turrets yeah!

the only one that kinda works.

>>14971943
>boy bands? hot dogs?

and PONIIIIIES!

>>14972117
So, broken turrets are halflings?

>>14972160
Chell seems more interested in puzzles. (And a bit of nature)

>>14972164
kinda. They sound like inbred retarded rednecks.

>>14972179
oh, gnomes then

>>14972178
yeah, brain-damaged like a fox!

>>14972195
Maybe it's a running joke with the new group? GLADOS keeps on snubbing Chell?

>>14972083

Yeah, I suppose it definitely could.

Here's a blue pencil sketch. Anyone got any suggestions for what the Adventure Sphere should be saying? If anything.

Kitten chesse!!!

>>14972272

For the record, just taking a second glance, GLaDOS's hand is not warped, it's just hidden behind the GLaDOS model. Won't look like that in the final.

>>14972272
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmgdtuufi7c&feature=related

"So you're fighting that guy?"

>>14972272
Shouldnt Glados have a DM screen?

>>14972357

She's not DMing by that point; Wheatley hijacked the game.

That said, I should really give him one, shouldn't I?

>>14972367
Think so.

>>14972367
Maybe change Adventure's shirt to something more...adventure-y? I got the impression he was more of a "I'm an action hero" boaster type than anything.

Like it so far, though. Maybe have the Fact sphere too?

>>14972387
>Fact: The probability of Chell passing that test was 31.4159265%

>>14972387

I can try and fit them in, sure. Currently started to do the black lines and refine it a bit.

I'm open to slogans for the Adventure Sphere's shirt.

>>14972405
Fact: the first dice was a golf ball with numbers painted on each dimple.

>>14972433
I'm with Stupid?

>>14972433

http://www.threadless.com/submission/340567/Rick_The_Adventure_Sphere?streetteam=jstruan

Recursion!

well this is all well and good, but i think we're missing two very important characters here

Weighted Companion Cube
And the god of thermobaric lemons, the late great CAVE JOHNSON

>>14972637
>Weighted Companion Cube

what do you think Chell's d6 looks like? Honestly

>>14972644

>>14972667
want them NOW

Here's a roughly black penciled one. Need to go over and thicken some of the lines up.

Also, I realized midway in that I'd fucked up on GLaDOS's head big time, which is why she is the faceless woman.

Eep! Sorry, folks. I gotta go.

Some more lines blacked, but I'm afraid this is where I must call it quits for the moment.

Love it! The Aperture logo was a nice touch.

Aaaand I'm back.

Added a little colour. GLaDOS now has a face.

Think this is it for this drawing.

... Y'know, there's some serious potential for a story here.

>>14973409
Yesssssss

>>14973409
Shouldn't, the space-core kid have yellow eyes, though?

Still, I love it!

>>14973409
fookin awesome man

>>14973409
>story
We did it with 40k, we can do it with Portal.

>>14973742
Cave Johnson was their dad. He died a few years back, but left hundreds of recordings of himself in an attempt to "stay in his children's lives". Yeah, he was that kind of parent. He got his kids into the scifi/fantasy thing, though.

>>14973770

GLaDOS was his wife, but was in a major accident and had to be rebuilt using medical SCIENCE!
She's never been the same since, and her kids are the only thing keeping her sane.
Although shes never had much patience for her oldest Chell....

>>14973579
Yellow sunglasses.

I spat my drink, OP. Good show.

>>14973786
>>14973770
GLADOS works better really as Cave's daughter, who idolizes her absent father and doesn't really like her distant mother...Maybe Caroline was Cave's nickname for her, Gladys?

REBUILT WITH SCIENCE is cool but too close to the original.

Chell's just the daughter of a family friend.

>>14973786
Personally, I think GLaDOS should be younger. Have Caroline as the mom, currently in a coma/rehab/chemotherapy/something, GLaDOS now keeps the family in order. Chell is their next door neighbor, and GLaDOS's best friend.

>>14973843
Caroline was Gladys' mother. In some ways, they're a lot alike. Other ways... not so much. Spitting image of her mom, though.

>>14973853
>>14973874
mothermind

>>14973853
>GLaDOS's best friend

Nope.jpg

Daughter of her distant mother's best friend, yes. But GLADOS won't have better than a love-hate relationship with Chell.

>>14973950
Oh, it is love-hate. Their differences and similarities are both attractive and repulsive.

Fr'instance, Chell's father (Doug Rattmann) is out of the picture, too, under different circumstances. He's not dead, he's institutionalized. His mind never came back together after that OD. Too bad, he was also an avid game-player himself.

They don't really LIKE each other, but they understand each other. Sometimes it's nice to talk to someone who really gets you.

>>14973950

rivalry perhaps? GLaDOS keeps making harder and harder games and Chell breezes through them
Whetley gets jealous and starts trying to run his own broken ass campaign with ridiculous NPCs and no overall structure.
GLaDOS and Chell get over their rivalry and beat Wheatleys campaign, allowing GLaDOS to take over again and start running games for her new friends, atlas and peabody

>>14974026
They love their hate. And their hate is each other.
It's perfect. Possibly also sexy, if you're a sick robosexual.

>>14971138
>Hm? Resin?
>Is that those chewy chocolate candy things?
>Brilliant! Kids love those, right?
>We'll make them out of that. Little Resin-Men.
I love you Wheatley.

>>14974341
Wheatley is our chocolatey fa/tg/uy Omissiah

>>14974026

>Ratman as Chell's father and game player, who later went crazy and did drawings of the game in his lucid moments.

... Damn, wish I'd thought of that when I'd started writing...

Also, in case anyone's not seen it yet....

>>14973713

>>14974551
Chell Ratman actually has a nice ring to it, in a weird way.

>>14971943
>>14972160
Did this disturb anyone else like it did me?
>there are BOY BANDS down there in the pit
>oh, and they haven't seen a woman in AGES

Wheatley, what makes you think Chell desires gangrape from a mob of boy band members who have been living in a pit for ages as you describe?

>>14974692
He IS a moron, after all. He probably thought it was a good idea at the time.

>>14974692
Programed to be stupid, remember.

>>14974711
>>14974726
>>14974692
Wait, wait, I get it now.
Wheatley IS a neckbeard.
Hence, he believes, as Chell is, yes, in fact, a woman, that she desires penises.
Lots of them.
Like all women apparently do.
Wheatley confirmed for socially inept bro.

>>14974759
Well, that falls under "bad ideas that will never work"...

Hence why he's perfect GW staff material.

>>14974692
>>>14971943

i have known women who might go for it

>>14974759
CLAP
CLAP
CLAP
Oh look. My slow clap processor made it into that thing. So we have that.

>>14979854

>>14979864
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BQFD89V8
And I'm off.

And while you're saging, this thread is still alive.

I'm in love with this thread.

>>14980980
Why don't you marry it if you love it so much? WELL I WON'T LET YOU.