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    • File : 1305598742.png-(9 KB, 538x391, 1305596337843.png)
    9 KB Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:19 No.14951880  
    This item is the new symbol for your superhero costume.
    What is your superhero name and how do you fight crime?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:19 No.14951886
    Whoops, meant to post this at /co/. Please ignore
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:21 No.14951905
    It's a water bottle.

    I am The Bold Bottler, whose primary superpower is sodomizing foes with water bottles.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:21 No.14951908
    I'm playing giant comfy chair man in my next m&m game
    >> Alpharius 05/16/11(Mon)22:22 No.14951921
    A Zoidberg action figure my younger brother sent me for Christmas.

    Yay?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:22 No.14951929
    >>14951908
    sorry, forgot to mention that I beat people into submission with my yard sale chair of justice and thrift
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951933
    WALLET MAN.
    ...
    No thats stupid.
    [spoilers don't work on /tg/]Alfred, what would be a better name? Bats? Might be cool.[/derp]
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951936
    >>14951921

    I'm useful again! Hooray for Zoidberg!
    >> Golem 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951939
    Computer Monitor Golem? I show music videos?
    >> Library Lass 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951944
    A bookshelf.
    How appropriate.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951946
    The arrow is pointing to my second monitor.

    I am The Monitor. I watch everything, and record it on my computer.

    So nothing changes, except I wear a slightly gayer costume.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:23 No.14951950
    it is an open doorway

    I have the power to teleport anywhere in the world as long as I have an open door at both ends of the transport.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:24 No.14951954
    I'm apparently the Super Scratcher, able to take more abuse than any cat can deal...
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:24 No.14951956
    YES!!!1 Bob's Big Boy Bobblehead.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:24 No.14951957
         File1305599077.jpg-(150 KB, 375x500, Flying Spag.jpg)
    150 KB
    A bowl of pasta.

    I am a godly champion.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:25 No.14951963
    One of my computer speakers.

    mitebcool
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:25 No.14951967
    An empty packet of McCoy's and a can of cherry coke?

    Uh....not sure how that would work.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:25 No.14951972
    A speaker.

    I AM DECIBEL, THE UNPARALLELED MASTER OF SOUND!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:26 No.14951982
    If I'm not mistaken there's a d20 superhero game.
    This could still be board-relevant.

    Anyways I have my Cell Phone. My power involves radio waves and their use for sabotage. I shall be called...Adam.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:26 No.14951984
    UNPAID BIll MAN!

    i fight crime through the mail!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:26 No.14951990
    >>14951972
    You should be a female superhero named Decibelle.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:26 No.14951991
         File1305599207.png-(141 KB, 476x234, uncultured swine.png)
    141 KB
    >>14951933
    ...
    Get the fuck out.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:27 No.14951999
    It's Dr. Pepper.

    I'm Doctor Pepper. I fight crime with pepper-spray and defibrillator-tasers.
    My powers include swaying neutral parties to my side (Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?) and jinxing my enemies (what's the worst that could happen?)
    Above all, I'm best when I can keep my head cool and take it slow, but I'm as bubbly as any other sodahero.

    I could have done worsr.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:27 No.14952003
    roll of blue scotchtape

    >feelsbadman.jpg
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:27 No.14952007
    ...Crowbar man. Or Coffee cup man. The first is probably more likely to strike fear into the hearts of evildoers.

    ...I guess I fight crime by hitting it with a Crowbar? that's probably pretty effective, actually.
    >> Look at my massive !JohnsonY5g 05/16/11(Mon)22:28 No.14952008
    It's a keyboard.

    FUCK YEAH I GET TO PLAY JEM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20BZID081Vk
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:28 No.14952009
    The Judge

    I hammer crime with my gavel of justice and legal comprehension
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:28 No.14952012
    >>14951999

    don't forget you can dispense sound medical advice. you are a doctor.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:28 No.14952019
    A bookcase? God damn it.

    >Name?
    The bookworm.

    >Power?
    The ability to literally bore people to death.
    >> Look at my massive !JohnsonY5g 05/16/11(Mon)22:29 No.14952021
    >>14952009

    I had a player pitch the same character with the name "Judge Mental" because he loves puns. Man, I hate that guy.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:29 No.14952025
    >>14952007
    Crowbars are smalltime.

    Leave this adventure to...

    THE BOTTLER
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:30 No.14952034
    >>14951999

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quZriO55wGk
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:30 No.14952039
    A Wacom tablet.

    I am TABULA RASA. My ability is for my drawn creations to come to life. It's a shame that I am a really shitty artist.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:31 No.14952047
    A Monitor

    I Have the Power to Monitorate Every Camera and TV in the World.

    I'm The WATCHER
    >> Look at my massive !JohnsonY5g 05/16/11(Mon)22:31 No.14952050
    >>14951982

    Why would you be playing an inferior d20 superhero game when you can be playing one of the zillion other superior superhero games?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:33 No.14952065
    >eyes football

    DON'T MESS WITH FOOTBALL
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:33 No.14952068
    >>14951936
    oh god, how I read that in his voice...
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:34 No.14952076
         File1305599672.jpg-(77 KB, 400x615, SuperPro 1.jpg)
    77 KB
    >>14952065
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:35 No.14952079
    My knee.
    I knee people into submission.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:35 No.14952084
    I AM WALL MAN.
    I FIGHT CRIME BY IMPRISONING CRIMINALS.
    ON THE SPOT.
    WITH WALLS.
    THAT I SUMMON OUT OF THIN FUCKING AIR
    'CAUSE I'M FUCKING WALL MAN
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:36 No.14952097
    >>14952047
    Perverted Super Hero?
    >> Technomancer 05/16/11(Mon)22:37 No.14952104
    electronic-hardawre-dedicated shelf.

    just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:38 No.14952118
         File1305599895.jpg-(89 KB, 400x722, a.jpg)
    89 KB
    >>14952097
    You know it.

    High five!
    >> Ånönymøüs dê Bērgérãç-Flëūr !RZND91lf7s 05/16/11(Mon)22:38 No.14952126
    Venetian Blind Lord! I blind people with the power of canals! My power only works on a boat in a small, manmade waterway.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:40 No.14952160
    >>14951880
    It...it's the wall of my room dude.

    I...I am...

    THE WHITE WALL.
    I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I DO.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:41 No.14952174
         File1305600080.jpg-(12 KB, 456x410, 1259049013042.jpg)
    12 KB
    A ceiling fan?

    I'm not sure how to go about this...
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:43 No.14952209
    >>14952174
    For your ceiling fan to be what that arrow in the OP is pointing at, are you sitting in a chair bolted to the wall?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:43 No.14952213
         File1305600234.jpg-(30 KB, 600x600, 08766395000_20100324080304349.jpg)
    30 KB
    >This item is the new symbol for your superhero costume.

    Huh. I guess I'll be rocking the Captain Amazing corporate sponsorship strategy. Still, this might work out better than I first expected...

    >Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:45 No.14952228
    >>14952209

    No I'm laying sideways on my bed with my laptop.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:45 No.14952230
    >>14952209

    obviously he is laying down with a monitor mounted on his ceiling
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:46 No.14952255
    A gun.

    I AM GUN MAN! RUN, EVILDOERS! RUN FROM MY BULLETS OF JUSTICE!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:47 No.14952259
    >>14952213

    you'd think so but after a few years of people asking you to do something EXTREEEEME you will just want to take a nice quiet walk through the park
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:47 No.14952267
    >A spoon

    I am Herr Löffel, the beer-swilling German hero of justice who carries an inexhaustible supply of spoons to be used as projectiles and whatever else a spoon is good for.

    Why German? Because Löffel sounds way funnier than spoon.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:48 No.14952273
    >>14952255

    go back to bed Frank Castle. you are not fooling anyone.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:48 No.14952277
    >>14952213
    I'm surprised this wasn't an early Image comic.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:49 No.14952289
    It's a megaman action figure, I guess I become megaman and cannabilize robots for the abilities they have, also my arm is a gun. I think i'm gonna be quite alright with this, even if I can't find robot powers to take.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:50 No.14952304
    >Boy Scout water bottle

    I AM MAN SCOUT!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:51 No.14952313
    >>14951905
    >>14952304
    A NEW DYNAMIC DUO IS BORN
    >> Pax !uGYNBMPzOs 05/16/11(Mon)22:51 No.14952317
    ... my rinse-water cup, unwashed since 2009.

    I am the Dirty Cup? (thats got to be some sort of, innuendo)
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:52 No.14952326
    >Discworld Novel
    I am Terry Pratchettman?
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:52 No.14952329
    A bottle of Ibuprofen...I AM THE PAINKILLER
    FASTER THAN A BULLET!
    TERRIFYING SPEED!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:53 No.14952332
    My furry wall pinup? Okay.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:54 No.14952344
    I am THE TELEPHONE

    With the power to project my voice and hear perfectly from long distances away I am a master of information-gathering and distribution, invaluable to any crime-fighting group.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)22:56 No.14952372
    A poster of Spiderman. I am...

    NERD MAN
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:00 No.14952405
    >>14951880
    a box cutter knife i use for modeling. i guess ill sneak into villeins homes while they fight real heroes and cut up some of there shit. So when they come home depressed from losing they find all there shit fucked up
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:01 No.14952420
    Thank god you've arrived, Terry Pratchettman!

    The real Mr. Pratchet...he...he... His disease is catching up to him...

    We...we need you to continue writing Discworld! That doesn't suck like Dune after Herber Sr. died!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:04 No.14952451
    >>14952405
    MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM

    "What the hell happened to all our stuff?"

    "Not cool, Super heroes, not cool..."

    "SOLOMAN GRUNDY'S PATHFINDER BOOKS RUINED!"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:04 No.14952459
    I am THE WALL

    I guess this makes me a large, middle-aged black woman with more political pull than most national leaders.

    Welp, time to implant bombs in a bunch of convicted felons and make them run black ops to advance my own interests.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:06 No.14952472
         File1305601592.png-(21 KB, 539x450, Bec Noir dwi.png)
    21 KB
    I am THE LARP BAGGER!!

    I distribute all sorts of pebbles and old beef jerkey to my allies to keep their morale up.
    When going on the offensive, I use my sick rubber dagger to give some nasty burn wounds. Excellent torture technique.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:07 No.14952478
    >a porcelain flower in the shape of a tea cup

    I don't know what to do with this.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:08 No.14952491
    >Canned Air

    Prepare to be blown away by pressurized justice, villainous scum!
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/16/11(Mon)23:08 No.14952495
    >A medical book about human anatomy I borrowed from a friend
    ...I'll go work in a hospital.
    >> Odvar 05/16/11(Mon)23:09 No.14952501
         File1305601758.jpg-(17 KB, 300x360, 1296337566997.jpg)
    17 KB
    >>14952326
    which one is it? If it's one of the Watch novles you could make a good case to be Sam Vimes, who I'm pretty sure could beat up Batman.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:10 No.14952510
    A giant fucking beer mug.

    I am Drunk Man.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:11 No.14952526
    >Pitch Black Mountain Dew bottle

    OH
    FUCK
    THE
    HELL
    YES
    >> Tech Heretic !E1yyNEjdEc 05/16/11(Mon)23:13 No.14952557
    An etch a sketch.

    I am the Etcher, fighting crime with armies of Graphite Golems created out of thin air to suite any possible need.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:13 No.14952559
    >>14951880
    > copy of red faction
    I guess I GET A SLEDGEHAMMER!
    I am hammer man (no affiliation to Hammer Man of Dr Horrible fame)
    I go to the bad guys place and use the sledge hammer to KNOCK THEIR HOUSE DOWN
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:14 No.14952561
    >GRAB THAT
    >Getting hug from girlfriend, arrow is totally pointing at her butt.
    >Disreguard thread, acquire butt.

    I approve of this thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:19 No.14952623
    >32 inch old CRT TV

    I am 3R, wearing high tech trash and assembling my tools from scraps and dumped appliances. My body armor resembles a bulky TV, my explosives are enclosed in soda cans, my tazer arm looks like a toaster, my air cannon is totally jury rigged and you wouldn't believe how much does my body parkour.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:30 No.14952766
         File1305603051.gif-(186 KB, 574x900, DietMtDewCan.gif)
    186 KB
    >>14952526

    MY BROTHER!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:34 No.14952817
         File1305603299.jpg-(774 KB, 1600x1200, flcl_08.jpg)
    774 KB
    >>14951939

    Oh ye of little imagination.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:35 No.14952822
    Milk Coffee Avenger

    None sleepiness will be tolerated.
    On the edge between darkness of caffeine and pure light of lactose, I shall stand strong, my beige cape fly on the harsh morning wind.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:36 No.14952834
    >>14952623
    This:
    >>14952817
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:36 No.14952842
    This looks like a job for mechanical pencil man! Time to write wrongs and fill people with lead!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:38 No.14952868
    I... am... MASON-JAR-FULL-OF-WEED-MAN!

    "Dude... robbing banks is so uncool. Here, come hit this shit."
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:39 No.14952878
    >>14952842
    Another Punisher clone.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:40 No.14952902
    >>14952878
    seeing as my item is mass produced and sold in bundles yeah that's ok since it's a bic.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:42 No.14952912
    >>14952623
    >>14952817
    >>14952834

    >My HUD is a TV
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:42 No.14952922
    ...my right knee?

    I guess I can always knee someone in the gut.

    Cap Knee to the rescue!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:43 No.14952923
    PS3 Controller.

    I get the powere of Viewful Joe, sweet.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:47 No.14952974
    Box of 1000 toothpicks.
    One thousand sharp wooden spikes.

    None evil could hide between teeth of big cities and tusks of high mountains. None rotten meat of vileness cold escape my justice.

    I hunt vampires at night and fight for mouth hygiene it day.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:49 No.14952990
         File1305604154.jpg-(21 KB, 300x300, interweave-knits-winter-20101.jpg)
    21 KB
    Interweave Knits magazine....

    A super hero that uses kniting needles and yarn?

    Knitman? Spin-a-Yarn?

    "I will knit you a sweater you criminal! For Justice!"
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:49 No.14952997
    >>14951880

    My taskbar? I have it set to the left of my laptop.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:50 No.14953010
         File1305604257.jpg-(68 KB, 500x374, tumblr_lhmgsoIIW61qbqth1o1_500.jpg)
    68 KB
    >>14952974
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:51 No.14953012
         File1305604276.jpg-(20 KB, 400x388, feelsbadman.jpg)
    20 KB
    >blank wall
    "Nothing too special boy, reporting in."
    >> personalitysucks 05/16/11(Mon)23:53 No.14953031
    Astroglide.

    I... fly in from outer space. Yeah.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:54 No.14953045
         File1305604451.jpg-(18 KB, 400x293, lamp.jpg)
    18 KB
    Lamp.

    I blind them with my love for lamp.
    I love lamp.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:55 No.14953063
    My GF. Guess I'll rip her skin off and wear it around.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:56 No.14953069
    >Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion
    I am the Moisturizer!

    Delivering evil into the soft, supple hands of Justice! And copious amounts of lubrication and slippery floors.
    >> I Like Beer 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953082
    A bottle of bock beer.

    I am Bock Boy, fighting boredom and loneliness with the power of really tasty beer!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953092
    >>14952997
    WINDOWS MAN, AWAAAAAAAAAY!
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:58 No.14953100
    I am Cellphone man, and I fight crime by calling or texting criminals at strategic times when they are braking the law to draw attention to them.
    >> Anonymous 05/16/11(Mon)23:59 No.14953108
    >>14953031
    You're an alien with the power to negate friction.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:01 No.14953122
    >>14951880
    hardrive
    dunno
    eidetic memory
    encyclopedic knowledge
    some sort of support character i guess
    with lots of porn
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:02 No.14953129
    Apparently I'm HEB original cola man.

    .....I mean HEB ORIGINAL COLA MAN!!!!!

    Here to save humanity from the evils of high fructose corn syrup!

    sugar loves you citizen, you should love sugar back.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:02 No.14953135
         File1305604971.jpg-(28 KB, 250x375, Ram_(comics).jpg)
    28 KB
    >>14953122
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:05 No.14953156
    Window blinds.

    Uhh.... The Venetian, with the power to render myself invisible if I am behind an object?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:05 No.14953161
    1 unsolved rubiks cube

    I shall stump villany with my mathematical precision and SCIENCE!
    >> personalitysucks 05/17/11(Tue)00:06 No.14953164
    >>14953108

    Indeed.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:06 No.14953167
    My other, shorter computer screen. I tried to scroll up so the arrow would be pointing at the Monty Python plush bunny, but i was just a bit short.
    >> Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ 05/17/11(Tue)00:06 No.14953171
    SUNKIST MAN!
    I SHALL TURN YOU TONGUE ORANGE FOR JUSTICE!

    >Our tongues are orange, SUNKIST MAN! We will never commit a crime until it wears off!

    NOW ONTO MY NEXT VICTORY OVER CRIME!
    AWAAAAAAY!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:08 No.14953186
    >box of space marines.
    I AM 10 GODDAMN SPACE MARINES MAN!
    I HAVE THE POWER OF EXTERMINATING HERESY AND XENOS WHEREVER I FIND THEM!!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:09 No.14953200
         File1305605370.jpg-(23 KB, 250x176, Bulmers Coffin pos NEW.jpg)
    23 KB
    Call me Bulmers! Bulmers Original!

    My mutated kidneys act as distillery and make pure cider if I eat a lot of apples.
    >> Anomynous 05/17/11(Tue)00:12 No.14953223
         File1305605528.jpg-(325 KB, 686x825, Val_Hallen_by_D_MAC.jpg)
    325 KB
    A guitar amp?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:13 No.14953241
    The printer?

    I'm honestly out of ideas.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:15 No.14953259
    >>14953241
    You're just a regular printer, until you run out of toner/ink.. Then you Hulk the fuck out.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:16 No.14953272
    A pillow.

    Pillow man with the power to make all blows around him as soft as being hit with a fluffy pillow
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:17 No.14953281
    >A black man next to me

    hmm...

    A mild mannered white male who, when taking off his glasses and removing his shirt becomes

    BLACK DYNAMITE
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:18 No.14953295
    >>14953281
    DYNO-MITE

    DYNO-MITE
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:19 No.14953305
         File1305605965.jpg-(11 KB, 234x322, alscream.jpg)
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    >>14951886

    It's taken a life of it's own!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:20 No.14953312
    A bottle of scotch.

    I'm more than fine with that.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:20 No.14953313
    >>14953012
    >>14952160
    >>14952084

    FOUR WALLS ASSEMBLE, WE HAVE AN INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM ROOF!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:21 No.14953325
         File1305606072.jpg-(99 KB, 685x385, black_dynamite_2009_685x385.jpg)
    99 KB
    >>14953295
    Fiendish Dr. Woo! YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:21 No.14953332
    >>14953313
    seee
    >>14952174
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:22 No.14953340
    >>14953313
    Roof here! Why is my monitor on its side! I suspect the meddling of... FLOOR.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:22 No.14953343
    >>14953312
    I just broke that bottle of scotch because it was empty and it's been a while since I've chucked a bottle at my roommate.

    Bottle of Jameson it is!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:22 No.14953345
    "Walls, the Floor has come into possession of a superweapon. You must stop him before he uses it to take over the world!"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:23 No.14953351
         File1305606214.jpg-(119 KB, 1280x960, 1.jpg)
    119 KB
    A horse? Surprisingly normal.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:25 No.14953366
    >>14953343
    By day a simple alcoholic named Scott Jameson, but by night I whip the dog shit out of villains with a glass bottle.

    The Nigger Knifer.

    (Old racists call broken bottles "nigger knives," most crime is committed by niggers, so on so forth.)
    >> Nothing too Special Boy 05/17/11(Tue)00:25 No.14953368
    >>14953345
    On it chief, to the Wallmobile!
    >> Black Dynamite 05/17/11(Tue)00:29 No.14953417
         File1305606568.jpg-(97 KB, 600x372, Black Dynamite.jpg)
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    >>14953366
    Oh no this whitey didn't

    Black Dynamite doesn't take no racism from fools like you!

    CHECK YOSELF!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:33 No.14953456
    >>14953417
    The Nigger Knifer doesn't fear Black Dynamite!

    I will have his pimp cane for my own!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:38 No.14953499
    Iphone... so I'm Steve Jobs?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:40 No.14953514
    >>14953456
    My bad, I was thinking of Dolemite.

    Please refer back to the alcoholic part.

    Anyway, instead of a pimp cane I have to worry about Black Karate.
    >> That One Guy 05/17/11(Tue)00:43 No.14953534
    >>14952213

    I had a can of diet cola.

    I am your nemesis, the Caffiend! I shall drain the world of it's energy to fuel my own, slowing down society to a halt and allowing an easy take over.

    Your extreme moves are no match for me!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)00:46 No.14953559
         File1305607587.jpg-(24 KB, 540x540, armsmaster.jpg-720x540.jpg)
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    My 3-light steel lamp stand.

    What, am I Jax now?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:13 No.14953785
    Tis a door.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:29 No.14953915
         File1305610156.jpg-(13 KB, 200x176, Astroglide.jpg)
    13 KB
    This is the best super power ever.
    >> Neo Odin 05/17/11(Tue)01:36 No.14953974
    Stone Donut necklace. What the deuce am I supposed to do wi...MIGHTY STONE POWER GO!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:39 No.14953996
         File1305610774.jpg-(34 KB, 300x300, The Tick Season 2.jpg)
    34 KB
    Weird. I guess I'm The Tick.


    Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:40 No.14954004
    I am the Pumicer. I will show evil just how abrasive I can be.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:41 No.14954011
    The Brown Drape
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:41 No.14954018
    I'm curled around my laptop on my bed, so that arrow just pointed at my dong.

    ...huh.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:43 No.14954044
    >>14954018
    The Phallic Manace

    Sticking it to crime
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:50 No.14954092
    >>14954018
    You're Buck Naked!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:54 No.14954129
    My cell.

    THE PHONALIZER

    CALLING THE POLICE WHENEVER HE SEES A CRIME.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)01:57 No.14954148
    I am Fantaman! Protector of tangerine soft drinks made with real fruit and of JUSTICE!

    Lots of bottle heroes. might as well make a Bottle Brigade.
    >> Frenchpressman 05/17/11(Tue)02:20 No.14954364
    I am Frenchpressman! I fight crime with delicious coffee, tea, and herbal blends!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:20 No.14954366
    A couple units of assault Blood Angels. There's no way this could end badly.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:25 No.14954422
         File1305613549.jpg-(10 KB, 200x300, american-frank-s-red-hot-sauce(...).jpg)
    10 KB
    RedHotMan! ...Not gay!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:27 No.14954440
         File1305613631.jpg-(43 KB, 500x500, 51MuzxlhYXL._SS500_.jpg)
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    I am... STEAMPUNK II!

    Son of the original Steampunk, assembled into my new from by 23 mad scientists, I fight my foes from my Cavorite-powered zeppelin!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:28 No.14954457
    Absolutely nothing.

    Technically I just grabbed air, but since that's completely transparent my costume has no insignia on it.

    I am Nietzsche-man.
    Slayer of gods.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 05/17/11(Tue)02:31 No.14954480
    "That" is a stack of Magic and WoW TCG cards, with a cube of red & black D6s (with gold pips). I guess I've got a color scheme, but I have no real idea for the rest of it.
    >> navycrypto !f3R0h5hKwQ 05/17/11(Tue)02:32 No.14954490
    my hand with a cigarette in it, fuck yeah
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:46 No.14954621
    It's pointing to my dice bag. I AM THE DUNGEON MASTER, CAPABLE OF SPINNING FALSE REALITIES TO TRAP VILLAINS IN WHILE DELIVERING PUNISHMENT IN THEM FAR WORSE THAN MY FRAIL BODY CAN METE OUT IN REALITY.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:49 No.14954647
    I am Dr. Router.
    I fight criminal organisations by disrupting their communications using my assorted variety of gadgets and then beating the criminals one by one. I'm also the mastermind of our superhero group.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)02:57 No.14954695
    Pointing towards my sig sauer handgun... Not exactly a 'superpower' more of an equalizer.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)03:32 No.14954987
         File1305617553.jpg-(14 KB, 200x234, 50354_37502627417_1682_n.jpg)
    14 KB
    Conscription letter from the Finnish Defence Forces.
    I'm The Conscript, armed with a 7.62 Assault rifle and a trench knife, I shoot and stab evildoers. My transportation is a APC with a deployable bicycle. I can dig a foxhole in seconds. My utility harness and backpack holds everything from mines to a toothbrush.
    >> Bragd 05/17/11(Tue)03:38 No.14955023
    a white stapler.
    >> JARMES 05/17/11(Tue)03:40 No.14955029
    Necron Monolith Man!

    I can't die, but also I am not very useful. I am very good when people decide they want to shoot me.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)03:49 No.14955074
         File1305618540.jpg-(288 KB, 1280x960, Desktop.jpg)
    288 KB
    FEAR ME! I AM THE MAN BAT! I'M TO CUTE TO DO MUCH, BUT BY GOD I TRY!
    >> MostlyPuritan 05/17/11(Tue)03:51 No.14955084
    ... pointing at my sister.

    > We are stuck in a tiny beach house room together.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)03:53 No.14955101
    >dirty fingerless glove

    Hoboman, Hoboman.
    Does the things that hobos can.
    >> White/Will 3954-6304-9251 !!tTf1/Hu3dWr 05/17/11(Tue)03:54 No.14955102
    The Chairman,
    Exedcutive Justice!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)03:57 No.14955130
    >>14954987
    HA! They don't give you a knife in FDF, and unless you're headed to a base with a mechanized infantry company, have full riding a shitty truck everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:10 No.14955217
    >can of Coke Zero

    BEHOLD! For I am ZERO! Though I have form, I lack substance: you cannot touch me!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:26 No.14955301
         File1305620762.jpg-(83 KB, 880x289, 13254135135135135.jpg)
    83 KB
    >>14955130
    I know that everyone won't get those, but they shouldn't be impossible to get for a superhero.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:29 No.14955321
    >>14955301
    I suppose.
    Anyways, have a good... morning.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:32 No.14955337
    >>14955102
    “Have a seat, bitch."
    “You’ve been sentenced to get the chair, motherfucker!”
    “You wants the committee asshole, then you best meet with the chair!”
    “Anybody else want to donate blood to Chair-ity?”
    “There’s some dessert! With a Chair-y on top!”
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:33 No.14955343
         File1305621223.jpg-(11 KB, 246x205, images..jpg)
    11 KB
    >how do you fight crime?
    Like this.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:35 No.14955350
    Headphones.

    >Name
    I'll be... Headphone. I suck with hero names.

    >Superpower
    The ability to project incredibly loud sounds. They can only be blasted at one person at a time though.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:36 No.14955351
    Behold for the Buffalo enters. Storer of much knowledge (and music and videos and porn)
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:36 No.14955356
    Its aiming towards the wall.
    Since that basically counts as nothing, I'll take what the nearest object to it is. A tuba. I shall become Tubaman.
    Yes, I like this. I always wanted to use it as a weapon.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:39 No.14955372
    Guess that makes my The Monitor. Probably no good in a fight, but the ability to see out of any screen connected to an electronic device could prove very useful indeed.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:40 No.14955374
         File1305621613.jpg-(240 KB, 1280x1024, 1213000010209.jpg)
    240 KB
    >>14951880
    >item?
    It's a speaker.
    >Superhero name?
    I can't think of one, but check out these dubs.
    >how do you fight crime?
    pic related.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:40 No.14955375
         File1305621621.jpg-(31 KB, 420x283, LionTamerSonyJPEG-large.jpg)
    31 KB
    >commercial sized container of Deli-Cat Catfood

    I am The Lion Tamer. All felines love and protect me, and I have the power to make my foes smell and taste exceedingly appetizing to any nearby.
    Still can't control the bloody things though. Pompous little mongrels they are.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:41 No.14955384
    filing cabinet man

    with the express power of shooting files and being really fucking heavy. I use this heaviness to my advantage as an undaunted swinging momentum of righteous fury. As well as my physical 'prowess' I submit myself to retaining a vast array of knowledge that stretches far and wide.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:46 No.14955410
    >>14955374
    >I can't think of one, but check out these dubs.
    You fail twice over.
    You failed to obtain doubles, and you failed to see your true name:
    THE WOBBLE-MASTER!
    Your sick beats and supreme bass power allows you to destroy all that stands in your way, and the streets themselves dance to the sonic waves of the DUBSTEP.
    >WUBWUBWUWUB-WUB-WUB-WUUUUUB
    >the ground undulate as a miniature earthquake shakes the nearby biuldings, glass shattering while anything smaller directly nearby becomes distorted by the waves with horrendous cracks and screeches; Humans run amok with their hands not to their ears, but their teeth as they rattle painfully against each other, their inner ear completely disrupted.
    You like?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:48 No.14955423
    an empty Hello Panda box with its top cut out and filled with dead batteries and a doll made of leftover pant cloth sticking out of it.

    Battery Panda with Voodoo Powers?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:54 No.14955460
    SAN BENEDETTO

    I spray mountain fresh mineral water at criminals and make them cower beneath the might of millions of tiny bubbles.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)04:58 No.14955495
    >>14955423
    >hello panda
    those things are awesome
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:33 No.14956206
    >>A gun
    I shoot baddies with a fucking air rifle
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:38 No.14956221
    Xbox Hugh!
    Microsoft-funded Iron Man style hero?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:40 No.14956227
    a cushion.

    cushion man, he smothers bad guys
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:40 No.14956228
    >>14956206

    Reminds me of this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPg_fj_SK_E
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:42 No.14956231
    >Red plastic cup

    FRATMAN

    FIGHTING CRIME WITH SICK GNARLY TACKLES
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:44 No.14956237
    Subwoofer... I make loud throbbing noises that render the villians senseless.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:44 No.14956238
         File1305632676.jpg-(80 KB, 407x405, 1304064777291.jpg)
    80 KB
    >Oldspice

    I...
    I am the greatest superhero ever!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:46 No.14956245
         File1305632764.jpg-(32 KB, 500x373, you are being monitored.jpg)
    32 KB
    The Monitor!

    Pic very related.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:46 No.14956248
    Jimi hendrix poster.
    I am the pyshadelic, Fighting crime with guitars and afro's.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:47 No.14956251
    I have become...

    HAM AND PRINGLE SANDWICH MAN
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:52 No.14956263
    A metronome.
    I am Click Ticker. I can alter the flow of time and annoy the fuck out of criminals with rhythmic ticking.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:53 No.14956267
    My sister

    I AM THE SISCON MAN
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:53 No.14956268
    >>14956238
    I know this will get you to reply with even more diamond pics, but you should stop trying while you can, you can get banned for diamond pics around here.
    Also, It seems /tg/ doesnt think their are funny, I saw like one person on here that actually posted them besides you and that thread died
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:56 No.14956276
    >My DM kit and dice
    "You successfully intimidate the lone citizen you pursued into a dark alleyway, but the victory is short lived. A mysterious stranger has entered the equation and stands before the only exit, he stares you down, and makes it clear it is in your best interests to let your innocent victim go, what do you do?"

    "FUCK OFF PSYCHO THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

    "Very well, roll for initiative!"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:56 No.14956278
    >>14956268
    That's because we enjoy text-based Old Spice jokes.

    Also, I am Water Bottle Guy. I have a metal water bottle. You can have some if you're thirsty, the metal bottle keeps it nice and chilly.

    I fight the crime of thirst. And I guess I can hit muggers over the head with it.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)07:59 No.14956283
    I am cup-of-tea man!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:05 No.14956304
    a glass...

    i am now glassman cutting people and throwing any glass objects at criminals, dealing pointy and sharp justice to all villans.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:06 No.14956316
    >>14956304
    Your one weakness is that jaw of yours though.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:11 No.14956336
    its a pen.

    uhm....

    DONT WORRY CITIZEN, FOR PENMAN IS GOING TO DRAW THE LINE!

    My ability is to stab people in the eyes with pens.
    And write mean letters to them and write their parents about their bad behavior.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:13 No.14956348
    >>14956336
    Well at least you're mightier than sword man
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:16 No.14956359
    BEHOLD I AM CANCELLED DEBIT CARD MAN

    I WILL CHIP YOU ARMOUR AND PIN YOU DOWN

    DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:16 No.14956363
    My Master Grade RX-178 Mk. II?

    I am Mk. II, and I suppose I fight crime with beam sabers and angst.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:19 No.14956372
    A white transforming Ravage USB stick.

    I am the hero that external storage deserves.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:19 No.14956373
    I am digital alarm clock man I can make the most annoying sound known to man
    *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH* *ANGUH*
    Go ahead an press the snooze button I shall only resume in 5 minuets
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:20 No.14956377
    >>14956363
    Holy shit, I have the same thing next to me.

    Unless you're an AEUGfag.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:32 No.14956424
    >>14956359
    Made me lol.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:33 No.14956426
         File1305635598.jpg-(62 KB, 700x525, Out of order.jpg)
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    emergency kill switch

    I'm The Blackout
    I shut things down - electricity, cars, even weapons
    < -- my costume
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)08:49 No.14956511
    >3D glasses

    I'm THE MAN FROM THE THIRD DIMENSION!

    WATCH AS I APPEAR CLOSER TO YOU THAN I REALLY AM!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)09:45 No.14956762
    >>14956511

    i lol'd
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)09:51 No.14956785
    Its my Magic deck.

    I am The Planeswalker. I can summon monsters from the aether and cast sweet spells by thinking about various landmarks around the multiverse. fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)09:54 No.14956796
    >>14956785
    but wouldnt all your mana lands getting confiscated by the state as their land? leaving your forests cut down, your island poluted, your plains built upon, your mountains mined out and your swamps dried out to grow soja?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)09:56 No.14956807
    A pair of dumbells I got like four days ago but haven't touched yet.
    Go Slouchman!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:02 No.14956835
    >>14956511
    Wouldn't that be Captain Rear View Mirror?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:04 No.14956850
    Forests would become Wastelands
    Island would become Polluted Delta,
    The cities that spring up on the plains would become like the ones on Ravnica or City of Brass or even Mercedia.
    Mountains would be mined out to become Strip Mine or Gemstone Mine.
    Swamps will stay swampy even while being farmed, elese they will become plains or any number of dual colour cards.

    Mana will always be there friend. The Planeswalker is not so easily defetated.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:05 No.14956855
    >>14956850
    Unless I get attacked by a bird with a sword. Then I am fucked.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:08 No.14956877
         File1305641327.jpg-(36 KB, 600x177, 0244311.jpg)
    36 KB
    BEHOLD,

    The new hero has arisen.
    LUMINATOR is his name.
    Champion of light and color.
    Defender of blinkyness.

    I'll fight crime with my supercolored shiny ink gun and my explosive highlighters.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:13 No.14956904
    A small lego star wars stardestroyer.
    I guess I can enlarge it at will and transform it into other crazy lego stuff.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:15 No.14956916
         File1305641753.jpg-(31 KB, 450x450, beermug.jpg)
    31 KB
    ... WIN
    >> The Wall Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:27 No.14956994
         File1305642443.jpg-(78 KB, 415x353, thewall.jpg)
    78 KB
    You fools, you have turned me into The Wall, the most powerful and indestructible of all supervillains and also a world class tennis player.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:29 No.14957012
    >>14956994
    >tennis player
    >baseball field
    Yeeeeeaaaah, sure you are.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:30 No.14957025
    spray adhesive.

    great, I'm now Paste-Pot Pete.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:31 No.14957026
    Senior SALSA! is here and he is extra hot
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:34 No.14957046
    A R2D2 repair operation game... I the power to build and repair machines by taking and putting again small plastic pieces inside it?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:35 No.14957050
    A lego minifig. I'm ok with this.

    Lego Man, builder of justice.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:37 No.14957058
         File1305643041.jpg-(25 KB, 260x350, smokes.jpg)
    25 KB
    i give people cancer with second hand smoke.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:39 No.14957072
    >>14957058
    >native american (99.9% are dead)
    >tobacco (causes death)
    You're like extra-concentrated death, Deathman.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:42 No.14957087
    A small "grey alien" figurine within a test-tube of slime.

    The Theorist! I bring to light the conspiracy theories that da Gummint wants to keep hidden! Kennedy Assassination - Moon Landing - Cold War's True Purpose - Ancient Astronauts, all fall within my realm!

    ((Also, I'm frakkin' nuts.))
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:45 No.14957108
    My paycheck and a pile of work.
    SALARYMAN! Defeating evil by boring them with piles and piles of burocratic and meaningless work!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:45 No.14957109
    It's a door.
    "Bewere the Gate Keeper.
    He controls the dimensions so he can jump anywhare in seconds!!!"
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)10:46 No.14957117
    ... Dressers are heavy...
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:07 No.14957210
    a pile of papaer for my printer


    PAPERMAN! FEEL THE CUT EVILDOER!


    You think you can escape ME? ME!?!?

    PLANEFOLD!! AHAHAHA YOU CANNOT RUN FROM MY PURE WHITENESS!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:10 No.14957237
    FRZNCLD frozen beverage cup from Chevron. It has a penguin wearing sunglasses for a mascot.

    I am Frzncld The Vowelless.
    Ice powers, tuxeudo, penguin sidekick. Let's fukken do this!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:11 No.14957239
    I am Apple Juice man! Fear my Vitamin C of justice!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:13 No.14957261
    Vodka bottle
    I am the Drunken Boxer
    My powers are strengthened by the amount of vodka I consume... but it comes at a price!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:16 No.14957278
    The thing immediately to my left is a pair of Kamina sunglasses.


    Yes.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:26 No.14957371
    >>14951880
    My Sisters tits?

    I don't think she'll be happy about that.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:26 No.14957373
    >> Dirty glass bowl

    So.. how does I do hero?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:27 No.14957376
    >>14957371
    I will be.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:27 No.14957384
    >>14957261
    Vodka super hero has nothing on the whiskey super hero from earlier.

    Because vodka is for women.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:31 No.14957417
    >>14957384
    Women and poor people.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:31 No.14957418
    A military surplus backpack that holds so much, I mistake it for a bag of holding sometimes.
    This could be fun...
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:31 No.14957419
         File1305646282.jpg-(946 KB, 1712x2560, IMAG0245.jpg)
    946 KB
    Uhm.. does this mean I am Optimus Prime now?
    >> Gemakai !dX/jJ5K/mA 05/17/11(Tue)11:33 No.14957432
    Yogurt Man? With the power to cover his enemies in delicious yogurt?

    This sounds like a bad sexual innuendo waiting to happen.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:37 No.14957458
    It's a bong.

    ...super-what now?
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros 05/17/11(Tue)11:38 No.14957465
    >>14951880

    A... russian flag?

    Commissar/Captain/Comrade Russia, I guess?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:38 No.14957466
    I am the Head-set Hero,
    I use my head set to communicate with a wide network of neckbeards to assist me in crime fighting. I can also use it to listen to soothing music while battling the forces of evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:41 No.14957486
    Well, I just grabbed my girlfriend's ass. I'm thinking that this is going to make a pretty shitty superhero.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:42 No.14957495
         File1305646957.jpg-(184 KB, 662x1019, Sinestro_Corps_Panel.jpg)
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    I saw this thread in /b/ yesterday, I will post, but I will spice it up - Reverse-o style-o

    I am Sinstro, I fight crime by scaring them too shitless to comit any crimes. What is the item?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:46 No.14957527
    Some sort of sticky cream you put on your face to apply fake beards. I'm one of those pussy superheroes who doesn't really fight crime because I find it a greater cause to fight bad self-esteem by granting people, men and women, mighty beards.
    I am Captain Revered Beard.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:48 No.14957539
    >>14957527
    >Some sort of sticky cream you put on your face to apply fake beards.

    Okay, I'll bite, why do you have something like that? Furthermore, why beside your monitor?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:56 No.14957585
    >>14957539
    Dressed up as an old man for school once. Bought alot of it if I ever want to dress up as something like that again.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)11:59 No.14957600
    So, once again deciding to take my laptop and lay on the bed instead of at my desk screws me over as I am now
    CLOSET MAN! THE PROTECTOR OF HOMOSEXUALS! THE PURVEYOR OF SEXUAL FREEDOM!
    Well, I guess it's better than "Picture of my girlfriend"-man or "glass full of juice"-man.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:03 No.14957634
         File1305648200.jpg-(10 KB, 176x227, wheat_thins2..jpg)
    10 KB
    I am a champion of the snack cracker enterprise.

    I'm also healthy, and free of trans fats.

    This is better than I had expected.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:05 No.14957646
         File1305648317.jpg-(33 KB, 500x500, charge AL 830663.jpg)
    33 KB
    I am Leatherman!

    Always with the right tool for the occasion!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:05 No.14957648
    I am The Blue Curtain.

    I lurk in the lairs of evil-doers and clash with the carpets.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:09 No.14957676
    A photocopy of a county's committee meeting notes from 1911

    I am... The Archivist. The dude who makes all those superhero villain museums you see in secret hideouts.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:11 No.14957691
    >>14957646
    And your sidekick Twink?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:18 No.14957754
    I am... Samuel Adams by day. By night, I don my ram-head mask and call myself the DoubleBock! Black goat of Vengeance, black goat of Fury! I shall be stern with the meek, gruff with the insecure, intolerant of the malign!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:32 No.14957844
    >>14952990
    Actually, I'm pretty sure you'll turn out as a famous villain.

    I mean, how else do you explain the name, Scarf Ace?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:35 No.14957866
    >I see my graphing calculator

    I AM THE...TEXAS INSTRUMENT
    I AM A PRODUCTION-LINE CYBORG WITH SUPER-HUMAN CALCULATION ABILITY
    SILVER EDITION

    but i am easily outclassed by later, stronger models
    Fuck you TI-89.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:37 No.14957881
    This day I shall become...

    THE STAPLER!

    VIllains shall fear my pointy metal bits OF JUSTICE
    >> Aluminum !8lUUUUUuuU 05/17/11(Tue)12:39 No.14957894
    >>14957866
    >implying that the 83 silver edition is older than the 89
    Seriously, look it up. I was surprised too.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:40 No.14957895
    Torrent-Man!

    I...uh...illegally download movies! And I talk like a pirate!
    >> !iN.MY.aRMs 05/17/11(Tue)12:40 No.14957896
    awww PastaSaladMan
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:40 No.14957899
    The case I put my glasses in... I got nothing.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:42 No.14957909
         File1305650538.jpg-(66 KB, 476x354, 150160.jpg)
    66 KB
    self healing cutting mat based powers, tough skin, fast healing...

    I'm okay with this
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:52 No.14957981
    Speakerman I would convert my enemies to the good side by making them listen to good miusic
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:52 No.14957985
    pills
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)12:59 No.14958053
    A dvd boxset of Pale Rider, The Outlaw Josey Wales and Unforgiven.

    I guess that makes me The Clint Eastwood. I shoot criminals in an unnecessarily showy, but impressive, fashion.
    >> Ahab 05/17/11(Tue)13:34 No.14958345
    >>14951880
    I AM BEER MAN
    FEAR ME AS I BREAK THROUGH YOUR FRONT WINDOW AND EAT YOUR LEFTOVERS
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)13:35 No.14958355
    A penis.

    ...a penis. Hey, still better than most of Marvel's ideas.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)13:41 No.14958399
         File1305654069.jpg-(9 KB, 200x150, 1305499601001.jpg)
    9 KB
    Another browser window, with another image board.
    Downloading counts as grabbing, right?

    I am now THE LITTLE GIRL!
    (seriously, I'm not even sure who this is...)
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)13:43 No.14958415
         File1305654193.jpg-(53 KB, 400x400, dslitecarcharge.jpg)
    53 KB
    A charger...

    With my powers over electricity I do not fight crime. I rob stores and steal high tech gadgets to sell or keep for personal use... until I get caught.

    No regrets.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)13:45 No.14958434
    So I guess that makes me BLANKET MAN, comforter of the innocent and warmer of hearts in the coldest of days.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)13:50 No.14958463
    I AM DAYQUIL MAN

    FEAR MY POWERS OF WAKEFULNESS
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)13:57 No.14958517
    my calculus notebook

    i will fight crime with SCIENCE AND EQUATIONS!
    >> Optiluiz 05/17/11(Tue)14:01 No.14958549
    Empty wall man?
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:08 No.14958623
    A folder full of teaching resources for GCSE level physics.

    My superhero name is The teacher, I fight crime by allowing criminals to have a better understanding of the world around them.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:14 No.14958659
         File1305656048.jpg-(23 KB, 400x299, 1989-sweden-rare-1000-kronor-a(...).jpg)
    23 KB
    >my framed 1000 kronor bills
    I am money man
    I throw money at the problem until it disappears
    I destabilize the economy
    [nospoilersontg]I am a Super Villain[/nospoilersontg]
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:14 No.14958662
    A mg with Spock on it.

    Well fuck...

    Logical Beverage Man, AWAY!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:15 No.14958670
    >bag of crackers

    I am THE CRACKER, the whitest superhero ever. I fight crime by organizing charity events meant to improve education and living conditions in ghettos. During these charity events, I do my best to be "cool" and to connect with youths "in terms they understand," but despite my good intentions I usually just come across as incompetent and mildly racist.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:22 No.14958726
    >>14958659
    As super villain about to turn obsolete, the old 1000SEK bill probably doesn't have long left to live. A lot of them are already being sorted out for incineration regardless of condition (while normally only worn out bills go to the furnace).
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:35 No.14958838
    Uh.... that would be a female classmate.

    I... am.... MOLESTERMAN!
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)14:37 No.14958856
    Eight Legged Freaks DVD.

    Something spiderish, except nastier and creepier.
    >> Anonymous 05/17/11(Tue)17:11 No.14960321
    >dirty dishes

    ughh..

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