It's pretty hard to duck them when your portrait is in six or seven museums and period copies of the peerage.
At least they gave up after Cincinnati and we give each other space.

>>14813029
Yes, I can understand how that'd be difficult. I, myself, am a shapeshifter, so it's not too terribly difficult for me. Now, why exactly is your portrait in numerous museums, if I may ask?

>>14813092
Only catalogued immortal on the records, as far as I'm aware. Hang around threads like these trying to find others. Wow, that sounds terrible.

Anyway, I was a king for a little while back in the 16th century. Under 'parole' agreement with the SRA not to divulge which and where, not that I know why.

>>14813154
What's the source of your immortality? As a Blood-bather I will of course never register, I'm not terribly keen on being prosecuted for murder and aging again after several hundred years.

>>14812995
>SRA

These motherfuckers can go fuck themselves. I've barely got a power and they want me to register with them?

Fuck that.

>>14813154
Probably just censoring you. I'm telling you, it's a mistake to register. Your neighbors are out to get you, because they don't trust you, gotta keep up with an SRA spook every month, it's more trouble than it's worth.

>>14813184
That's the fun part. I don't have a damn clue. I can tell you three or four popes have taken exception to it. SRA got ahold of me through the Vatican, poked around for a while, and eventually gave up.

Incidentally, no, I'm not Cain, that one stopped being funny after the second time.

>>14813203
I agree with this man. I mean really, how's a guy who's immune to cold, going to take over the fucking world?

It's just not worth the trouble. If you can hide your ablities(And you can, from what I've read), just hide em.

The SRA did me some good at first, but damn if it ain't hard to live a normal life. I'm a mid-scale pyrokinetic, accidentally burnt down a couple hundred acres of Georgia forest--mix of old growth and pine farms--and killed three people, putting upwards of fifty in the hospital. Not proud of what happened, but I did my best to save who I could, seeing as I'm a firefighter--or I was, anyway--and it's my job. So I got registered, put on house arrest for awhile, the SRA sent this guy to tutor me in discipline, then I got moved out of state for my own protection, supposedly.

They won't let me call, they won't let me write, they won't even let me send a 'I'm perfectly fine' postcard to any of my friends or family. I'm feeling like a prisoner, man. I'm in this little suburb place, everything's the same, smiling neighbors. I'm a farm boy, this is even worse than the few years I spent in New York going to college.

I wanna get out and get back to a normal life, or at least as normal as it can get for a middling pyro. But they aren't even letting me keep a job right now.

Fucking SRA...every month they come around, hassle the neighbors, take readings, make sure I haven't circumvented the security to KEEP ME INSIDE...all because I can use my right index finger as a flashlight....some days...

>>14813255
>mid-scale pyrokinetic

At least your power is useful. The best I can do is make ice for a drink, or conjur a snowball on command. And if I do it too much, I'll get a mild fever.

Sorry that the SRA got you locked down, from one Georgian, to another.

You know what? Fuck the lot of you.

The SRA has actually done great things for the goblin community. The police actually listen when one of the young goes missing from the warrens because a missing Para is a big deal now.

Look at the facts.

FACT: Violent crime has dropped 8% since the SRA was formed.

FACT: Accidents involving underage supernaturals have dropped by nearly 12%.

FACT: A vast majority (80%+) of polled supernaturals were for the SRA.

>>14813290

At least you don't have to worry about your computer overheating every few minutes when you're agitated. I've mostly got it under control, but sometimes heat just leaks. But yeah, at least there's something I can do with these powers--even got it to where I can snuff decent sized flames if I focus, instead of just lighting them. I want to get back into volunteer firefighting, but well... lockdown.

Master says the SRA is far too invasive. Plus their methods of "keeping us safe" seem to only distance us from humans and make them paranoid of us.

They wouldn't even let me enter Target. They said my feet would scuff the floor, so I went to Wal-mart... their vegetables aren't as fresh.

>>14813255
I've got a solution for you.

See, when you register, they'll implant you with a tracker. There are several guys out there who make a business of removing them. It ain't cheap, but it's a solution. The problem is finding one, the SRA is always watching you, so you're gonna have to get out of there, and fast. I know a guy in Atlanta, if you can find him, he'll do the operation. If you can't pay for it, sometimes the guy's nice, he'll let you work it off. It's a small price to pay for getting your freedom back, my friend.

Man, fuck the SRA. They promised me they'd find a way for me to off myself. What do they do? They dump me in a fucking volcano. Do you have any idea how fucking annoying it is to claw your way out of cooled lava using only your fingernails?

>>14813339
Ooh, that happened to me once. I still sometimes dream in obsidian.
What's your story?

I sure am glad I live in the USA. The SRA got kicked out of here back in the 70's, after the incident in Atlanta. Any of those fucks show up at your door here, you are 100% in the right to tell them to fuck off before you call the police.

>>14813323
Yeah, but I have to watch the weather to make sure i'm wearing the right thing.

Hell, last winter, I didn't realize it was cold(Because fucking Georgia doesn't snow), so I went out at below freezing weather to Publix, in shorts and a T-shirt, with sunglasses.

People looked at me like I was fucking insane.

And yeah, but I can't stay anywhere that's too hot for too long, or I start radiating cool air. Like a fucking air conditioner.

>>14813325
Look into Goldberg and Ratfang LLC. They're very sympathetic to the plights of the para community.

>>14813328

A tracker? Really? I know I haven't gone under for any surgeries, and if it's some chip it's probably long burnt out by my internal temperature by now, it peaks 150 Celsius sometimes.

Getting to Atlanta would be a problem, though, since I think they relocated me to somewhere in the midwest, judging by the local time. Google Earth ain't working, though, and they won't tell me my full address.

>>14813312
>>14813313
Sure, there are positives. But look at the ends. We're alienated from the rest of the public, almost every tragedy is blamed on a poor para who just happened to be on the scene, and they ARE going to be using us as a military force sooner or later. I would rather not sacrifice these things, let the para community sort out the crimes and missing goblins ourselves.

>>14813354
>I sure am glad I live in the USA. The SRA got kicked out of here back in the 70's, after the incident in Atlanta.

And they got brought back after that incident during the Olympic games in 1996.You didn't know?

>>14813354
Oh yes, because the MePA is TOTALLY not a government mandated SRA.

>>14813154
>Para serial killer literally bathing in human blood to live forever
>People here still somehow against the SRA
THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA, PEOPLE.

>>14813364

Master tells me not to worry. SRA will know when they've gone too far. He will "deal" with them.

>>14813365
As far as you know, they haven't. The kind of control they're exerting over your life, you can't say you would be surprised to find they did a little surgery in your sleep. As for the chip, it may be burnt out, but I'm guessing that they've probably got some special ones just for paras with heat control.

>>14813387
Non-powered fag detected.

>>14813380

And then kicked right out again when the FBI launched that sting operation back in '02. Keep up with your facts man, the FBI handles all Paranormal stuff now. At least they don't try to sell Para's on the side to terrorist organizations. The SRA is more or less directly responsible for 9/11, you don't honestly believe a bunch of muslim extremists found a dragon on their own, do you?

>>14813387
The SRA is government-mandated segregation. So why should we let them regulate us? As I've said, our community can handle ourselves, and it should be up to us to put the scum in our ranks down.

>>14813416
It was a Djinn, dumbass.

Wizard here, just living in the glorious nation of Paranormalstan. On the surface of the moon. Have fun trying to get to me now, SRA faggots.

>>14813363

Fair enough.

>>14813406

Shit, man. Now you've got me paranoid. I gotta figure out what to do...

>>14813313
>FACT: A vast majority (80%+) of polled supernaturals were for the SRA.
Right, because the metas who oppose the SRA are going to reveal themselves in a poll.

>>14813430

Nice try asshole, I was part of the team that put that thing down. I know what I goddamn saw.

Can anyone provide decent contact info for the SRA? My sister went to register willingly. Dad and I tried to talk her out of it, but she said it didn't matter anyway (Fucking prescience, how does it work?). All we've been getting now is those fake postcards with "All is well, love" for the past three weeks.

>>14813371
>We're alienated from the rest of the public
I'm 3'9" and green. I'm about as "alienated" from the public as you can get.
>almost every tragedy is blamed on a poor para who just happened to be on the scene
Which was happening to us anyways.
>and they ARE going to be using us as a military force sooner or later
Actually, funny story. After the Adjusted Enlistment Act came about (which, I might add, was based on SRA data), voluntary enlistment of Goblins skyrocketed.

To put things in perspective: Asking us to have to wait til we're 18 to enlist is like asking us to wait until we're in our late 20s to enlist.

>Wizard here, just living in the glorious nation of Paranormalstan. On the surface of the moon.

Then how are you posting? There isn't internet on the moon. And by the time this thread reaches you, it's already old news.
>>14813446
What we need to do, is get a way how to train. Practice. Hell, i've been working for a month on the fucking snowball, and it's almost a iceball at this point.

We need to train, and fight these motherfuckers, thats what we need to do.

If we're going to segregrate, we're going to do it on our terms.

Take a page from Malcom X.

Fucking fuck. I registered with the SRA not too long ago, and I'm forbidden from using my power on anybody but consenting people. See, I have the ability to make anybody have a mind-blowing orgasm simply by squinting really hard at them. Apparently doing that to bus drivers and officers of the law presents some kind of "danger to society"

Shit, people, you think you have it bad? I'm a nullifier. You do you have any idea how bad they want people like me to join them? I've turned down every offer I got so far, since I have no intention of becoming a para-hunter for them, but sooner or later they'll just force me to join.

>>14813486

Do you honestly need to ask? Magic. I set up a whole city on an airless world, getting a real time internet connection to the Earth is small time.

Well, I've got a lot to thank the SRA for. My whole organization does, in fact. All those test subjects we were provided with have really pushed our research ahead centuries. Immortality and psychokinesis are now much more than a pipe dream for us.

Thanks, SRA! By the way, if you're reading this, we've sent a bonus 20% along with the next payment, in gratitude. Also, the Director says he won't be in tomorrow. We're having a cookout in another dimension.

hey, wondering if any of you guys could give me some advice.
I just found out I'm almost certainly a para, and I'm wondering how/if I should tell my family(after reading this thread there is no way in fuck I'm registering)

>>14813401
BB here. You're the mute in Southern Pennsylvania, right? I think stayed with your "Master" for a few months back in 1947.

>>14813486
Sure, Mr. FBI Agent, I'll make statements implying a Para conspiracy so you can crack down on me!
To hell with you, and your conspiracies - I CHOSE to serve HRH.

>>14813503
Sorry man, I forgot.

Magic isn't my forte. I can make things cold, and stand cold.

>>14813351
Fuckers just flew off after they'd lobbed me into the magma chute too, didn't stay to see they'd done the job properly.
My story's pretty bog-normal, as these things go. Had a normal life, was in a fatal accident, somehow didn't die, discovered I'd recover from anything - ANYTHING, believe me, I've tried pretty much every method out there - within minutes. Stopped aging too. The kicker, though? I fucking well stopped aging when I was around 65.
Yeah, think about that. Eternity stuck in a body that's getting frail and achy and kinda run-down.

>>14813313
>FACT: A vast majority (80%+) of polled supernaturals were for the SRA.
You know how they conducted that poll? They used a list of registered supernaturals.

AFTER PORTUGAL BOWED TO SRA AUTHORITY, VAMPIRE POPULATION IN BRAZIL WENT UP *THREE* PERCENT!!!!!!

COINCIDENCE????? WAKE UP SHEOPLE!

>>14813512

Well, just don't do it like I did and accidently burn down a few hundred acres of forest and put a bunch of folk in the hospital.

>>14813486

Well, I can't do the huge firestorm trick anymore--figure it was just a one time HUGE BURST OF POWER thing--but I can heat an entire house, and I'm a pretty good hand with throwing out pillars and balls of fire. I've also been working on metallurgy on and off when I get the chance, I think I'm nearly to the point where I can purify most metals.

I can't summon up elementals, though. THings just won't come, and it's something the SRA keeps insisting I try to do.

>>14813512
Depends on what your powers/ablities are.

And your family. Most of my family are para's so..it's kind of easy to tell one that you are.

What are your powers, anyway?

>>14813512
If you've any of the following abilities, we'll be more than happy to employ you:
Intuitive Aptitude
Alchemy
Science Related Memetic Disorder
Cryokinesis
Pyrokinesis
Technopathy

>>14813550
By the way, base pay for people with those abilities is $300,000 a year. Plus benefits.

>>14813545
>I can't summon up elementals, though. THings just won't come, and it's something the SRA keeps insisting I try to do.

I can understand the burst of power though. When my powers manifested, I was in a fight. Some fucker tried to rob me, so I grabbed him and put him into instant hypothermia.

Sounds to me like they're trying to weaponize you.

But good on you. I hope that you get good enough to fly with your fire.

..that is, and not burn down another forest.

>>14813519

Its okay man, I can drop some imigration forms off at your house if you want. We're recognized by the UN, so even if the SRA could get up here, we can tell them to fuck right off.

>>14813550
>Cryokinesis

OH REALLY NOW?

What level of cryokinesis is needed?

Possession subtype Controller here. Ah, just wondering if anyone would be willing to share a body for a while. They kinda locked my original one up. Permanently. It's only a matter of time until I get a fake one made, but until then I need to stay in someone, and possessing unwilling people is a pain in the ass, since you have to wrestle control from them every time you need something done, since you can't just ask.

>>14813545
>>14813546

to be honest I'm not really sure the extent of what I can do, I only found out a few weeks ago.
I had an accident(I work in a machine shop) and ended up losing a finger, imagine my surprise when it grew back over the next two days.
I managed to mostly cover it up though, everyone thinks it "wasnt as bad as it had looked"

>>14813569
Fuck your wages, what have you done to my sister, dude?

>>14813582
Try BDSM fora. If you act vague and mysterious and bandy about phrases like 'the ultimate surrender of control' then you can find throngs of willing hosts.

>>14813575
Please do.

It's easy to find where i'm staying at, if you can detect thermals.

My dorm room is the only one in Georgia that's 30 degrees F below freezing.

>>14813514

Sorry, friend. I am a steel golem from Georgia. Master built the "soldiers" for the seige on Afghanistan before he was told that his creations violated the Geneva convention on weapons of mass destruction.

I am not currently "programmed" for conflict.

See that's the problem. There is a decent reason why the SRA was formed, but if you put it in the hands of a big bureaucratic federal organization, and you're just asking for trouble because the people in charge of it are so far removed from the people who are affected by their policies and actions.

Make a state-government run organization instead. That way the program can be adjusted for the needs of different areas with better oversight and less potential for abuse. Put the power closer to people's level rather than some great big bunker in Washington.

>>14813593
Sounds like Regen to me.

You might have slowed aging too. How old are you, and how old would you say you look?

>>14813581
Any whatsoever. If you can drop a cup of water 10 degrees (celsius) we'll take you. Of course, if your powers are severely limited we'll have to enhance them. Most of our success has been with pyro/cryo kinetisists.

>>14813596
Don't worry, she'll get better. And also worse, if you consider god-like power to be a bad thing.

>>14813593
Regeneration! Brilliant! How does two million dollars sound?

>>14813582
Who's making your homunculus?

>>14813612
Sure, let's let any batshit insane junta have international authority to monitor, enlist, and order around supers. Didn't think anyone could think up something worse than the SRA but brother, you just managed it.

>MFW Georgia is the Para capital of the United States

>>14813609
Ah, my mistake. I've only ever met one Golem, and it didn't communicate like you do. I believe it was masterless, however.

>>14813609
>>14813600

Shit, lots of paras from Georgia showing up. Think there's something big going on down our way?

I mean, it was weird when my pyrokinetics manifested--not a single para in my family going back eight or nine generations--and I know it's weird when someone with no para heritage and only a passing interest in the occult in the first place lights up the night.

>>14813599

That's what I used to do, but as I've said. My original body is locked up, and I have no way of recovering it. I can't use an unwilling host to meet with a new one, since my hosts tend to recover faster than it's normal. Usually it doesn't matter, but this guy would probably rip the new host's throat out. I just jumped into the first body I've seen before they locked the door... which just happened to be a para working for them.

>>14813619
Is that two million also good for any independent contractors that bring you this regenerator?

>>14813619
I may have some useful pyro abilities...
You're not with the government though, are you? I kinda have some bad history with them.

>>14813617
I'm only 20, and I'd say I look my age.
I've always been a fast healer, but not to any unusual degree.
also thinking more about it, I can't remember the last time I was sick, could that be linked?

>Of course, if your powers are severely limited we'll have to enhance them.

...I don't like the sound of this. Not one bit.

>>14813639
Artificial Bodies are available, for just a few simple tests. It takes ten minutes.

>>14813500
Stop bitching. At least they won't kill you.

>>14813624

When did I mention anything about a junta? If anything, I'm arguing for vastly limiting the scope of the SRA, since putting it at a state level also removes it from the use of federal funds and resources needed to support the kind of abuses you mention.

>>14813641
Fucking bounty hunters, I swear...
>>14813645
Yeah. Regens usually have very strong immune systems, since..you know..they regenerate sick cells.

This might be a strange question, but are you alergic to any type of pharma meds? Like Ibprofen, or Asprin or anything like that? ANything that would mess with your body's chemistry?

>>14813641
Yes.
>>14813643
Some of us are with the government. The president for example. Most aren't though.
>>14813646
It's completely harmless. Although you may develop an allergy to wheat.

>>14813632

A masterless golem is... upsetting...

>>14813637

Master said Savannah was beautiful, so he moved.

>>14813639
Forums, dude. Hell, if you talk fast enough, you can get them to 'roleplay' accepting you into them and bam, you're in. The internet is a fantastic resource for bodyjumpers.

Or do you have a range limit on how far you can hop around? If so, try your local CraigsList and bounce emails with any possibilities. You'll probably have to settle for a less suitable host, but hey, beggers and choosers and all that.

>>14813656

The SRA is a international organization bro.

You're thinking of the FBI Paranormal branch.

>>14813639
I could construct one and bring it to you, but I'd need to know your location, radius of possession and any particular requirements - plus, you'd have to have some kind of payment. Do you have to have line of sight? That sounds like it could be... tricky.

>>14813670
Yeah, no. No government involvement. That's my one and only hard and fast rule. The shit that went down back then...

>>14813670
>Alergy to wheat.
Nooooo thank you. I like sandwiches too much to give those up.

And you say "Completely" safe. Would you get in the machine?

>>14813674

I see, my bad. Thanks for correcting me.

But that is part of the problem, organizations like this have just developed into a big faceless bureaucracy that justifies its overreaching authority by playing on people's fear and xenophobia. Fuck, I'm not supernatural in the slightest and I'm still worried about how tight a control they have over everything.

>>14813510
Word to the wise, not all it's cracked up to be.
>>14813524
On the one hand, sorry to hear. I'm "in" my early thirties.
On the other, damn. This sounds familiar. How long have you been kicking around?
Also, try martial arts. Did a long stint as a mercenary, and was a soldier before that. Stays with you, and they're not kidding about the 'good for your health' thing.

>>14813700
>not supernatural in the slightest

Hope you've got a proxy, because if you keep openly criticizing the SRA you'll be 'found to be a supernatural' and promptly disappear. In the name of public safety, of course.

>>14813510

>cookout in another dimension

Enjoy your upcoming resonance cascade.

>>14813691
The allergy only lasts two months. And yes, I would get in the machine. I built it, after all.

In fact, I just used it two weeks ago, and have been doing science like crazy ever since then. God I love science. So much.

>>14813688
Disappointing. But it's your choice.

By the way, welcome to your life.

There's no turning back.
Even while we sleep.
We will find you.
Acting on your best behavior,
Turn your back on mother nature,
Everybody wants to rule the world!

>>14813637
Dude, my family is fuckinng FULL of Paras, on both fucking sides.

My Father can bench press a car, and my mother's a Telepath.

My cousins have various nondescript powers(One can ignore electrictiy completely, he's an eletrical engineer, go figgure), and another can sense the biorhythms and communicate with someone else's body on a molecular level(He's a doctor, works with the CDC).

My aunts and uncles all have various powers and ablities, but I could spend all day listing them out.

I think that it's a recessive trait thing.

>>14813700
If that worries you, look into the shit that went down in the 80s with the Shop. Experimentation on normals. Look up "Lot 6", if you have can get to some of the less easy to access stuff. It's an eye-opener.

Well, this is an odd request, even on top of the rest of what the SRA's been asking me to do since they moved me outta Georgia.

They want me to try and see if I can manipulate nuclear fire as well as traditional fire.

Man, fuck that noise. I like nuclear power as much as the next guy, but I'm not even gonna try to split atoms with my mind, that shit ain't gonna end well at all.

>>14813668

I don't have any allergies that I know of, and I seem to scar normally.
I haven't really tried experimenting with self injury since my accident.
are there any other regens out there who can offer any advice on safely figuring this out?

the only thing I can thiink of is to go to one of those para support groups, but I've heard stories of them being SRA fronts, and I have no desire to end up a one man organ farm

>>14813721
I see... would you be willing to sell a small amount of blood for several million dollars?

>>14813628
Between Savannah, the south Georgia swamps and the North Georgia mountains are you really at all surprised?

Hell, there's big chunks of the Atlanta suburbs that most normals don't even step foot in like Druid Hills or Shadow Glen.

>>14813730
Are they still on about that? I thought they'd have learned after Tunguska.

>>14813184

Blood-bather, you say... is there any special sort of blood you need to use?

>>14813720
Wait a second..so you're a Para..working for the SRA..to give Paras...more..power?

Sounds to me like they /are/ trying to weaponize us.

And for the record. I can make ice(Cubes) or snow out of the water in the atmosphere(Not alot though, too much and I get a fever), I'm resistant to all kinds of cold, and I keep drinks cold.

So cup of water? No problem.

>>14813741
>would you be willing to come within snatching distance of one of our laboratory vans?

If you fall for it, you deserve it.

rolled 2 = 2

Sure is easy pickings out there sometimes. I track down the freakshows, and get them to sign a few papers and make sure all their ducks are in a row. End of the week, I turn everything in for some sweet mula.

Yeah, occasionaly things get sketchy, but hey. That's why they have people like me.

Ask a hunter anything.

>>14813745
Kennesaw, too. Kennesaw's fucking FULL of Paras.

Hell, I was in a little computer shop, and this girl tripped and caught herself midair, then looked at me horrified, like her secret was out.

I grinned and poured my soda out, and froze it into a nice long icicle before it hit the ground.

It's not just the country, they're in the Cities too, now that I think about it.

>>14813760
You a Para too?

>>14813704
>How long have you been kicking around?
Truthfully, I have no idea. After a while, your memory gets kind of selective. You filter out the non-essential stuff, then some of the essential but no longer useful stuff...
I remember the first(to my knowledge) ziggurat that was raised, though. That was some spectacular shit. They were going to change the world, they said.

I did try martial arts for a while. Thing is, my body stays EXACTLY as it was way back when. I can't gain any muscle, can't really improve flexibility, can't lose that little bit of flab around my waist... yeah.

>>14813760
Sure is easy pickings out there sometimes. I track down the freakshow hunters, and keep their heads for identification. End of the week, I turn everything in to the anti-SRA organizations for some sweet mula.

Yeah, occasionally the SRA get pissy, but hey. That's why they don't officially keep the hunters on the payroll.

Ask a hunter hunter anything.

>>14813749
I don't work for the SRA. I just happen to work WITH them on occasion. And I'm not a Para. I'm just a man who happens to have given himself Para traits. With science.

God I love science. I have my entire life. Ever since I first created the Labyrinth for Minos.

Anyways, tell your family members I'm interested in hiring them as well.

>>14813787
>Labyrinth
>for Minos

Oh. My. God.

>>14813787

Mind Prober here. How do you feel, knowing that I could steal all your precious scientific knowledge at a moment's notice if I ever got near one of you?

Anyone got any stories?

I've heard that they have hunters that go out and pluck unregistered paras. You know, since it's illegal to not be registered, and I guess if you're unregistered, you're not a citizen. So, they can pretty much get away with snatching you up and running tests on you.

I knew this guy, really nice satyr, who got snatched up a few years back. Guy showed up a few months ago, says he doesn't remember a damn thing, but he doesn't act like himself. He used to be this big player, especially liked Sirens, but now it's like they cut his balls off, or something, makes me wonder what the hell they're doing, you know?

>>14813740
I'm not a Regen, but the best I can tell you is start small, and for goodness sakes, do it in privacy. The only thing worse than Para hunters are people concerned because they think you're self mutilating yourself, and you're trying to "Cry for help"

>>14813760

Whats your plan to come get me? Keep in mind, I'm a citizen of Paranomalstan.

>>14813784
Now that sucks. I can put on or lose weight. Took up smoking, keep taking it up after each 'death.' Maybe some kind of chrono-stasis?

Excuse me, I think I have a problem here.
A Dryad suddenly has appeared on my backyard. She is a nice girl, but she is way too high to care about anything, and the bears that party with her every night are driving me insane.
Can you relocate them? As an upstanding member of the society of the Heavenly Monocle, I can't have my reunions with the other members interrupted by an angry bear ever again.

<QUERY> D0ES ANY0NE KN-sys.admin_root debug reconfig-0W THE CURRENT 0FFICIAL STANCZEZEZEZEkernel_memory_overflow.buffer_dump_initiated.process_restoredSTANCE 0N ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE ENTITIES?

>>14813748
Human, sadly. Animal blood just doesn't cut it, even pig causes bodily disintegration without near-daily immersion.

I bet you're ok with people running around with nukes as well.

>>14813787
Most of them wouldn't take it. Hell, i'm the most outspoken about my powers in my entire family, and even then, I'm reserved to a point.

But, it sounds like a front to me. A normal giving themselves para powers.

rolled 12 = 12

>>14813775
Sometimes, when I watch the younger crowd, I have to think that my patience is a gift. Some people just don't know how to hunt anymore. Doesn't take running. Doesn't take high tech foolery. Just a bit of walkin' and talkin'.

No, I ain't a para.

>>14813785
Your part of the problem mate. This whole community's all messed up because of people like you. If it weren't for you, we'd all still be carryin' pencils instead of .45's.

My right hand removes all paranormal abilties. Suck it bitches.

>>14813821
Yeah, I do. You're technically computers, and computers technically don't have rights.

Here it is in binary, for easier reading for ya.

0101100101100101011000010110100000101100001000000100100100100000011001000110111100101110001000000101
1001011011110111010100100111011100100110010100100000011101000110010101100011011010000110111001101001
0110001101100001011011000110110001111001001000000110001101101111011011010111000001110101011101000110
0101011100100111001100101100001000000110000101101110011001000010000001100011011011110110110101110000
0111010101110100011001010111001001110011001000000111010001100101011000110110100001101110011010010110
0011011000010110110001101100011110010010000001100100011011110110111000100111011101000010000001101000
0110000101110110011001010010000001110010011010010110011101101000011101000111001100101110000011010000
1010000011010000101001001000011001010111001001100101001000000110100101110100001000000110100101110011
0010000001101001011011100010000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100101100001000000110
0110011011110111001000100000011001010110000101110011011010010110010101110010001000000111001001100101
0110000101100100011010010110111001100111001000000110011001101111011100100010000001111001011000010010
1110

>>14813805
Hahaha. Nope. You can't read a mind that exists outside time and space.

>>14813821
I've made a few. One of whom I am currently dating. It's a bit weird though. Me, the reincarnating consciousness outside of space-time, and her, the naive yet immensely intelligent computer program.

>>14813817
What sort of dryad are we talking here? If it's a tree, then the problem's likely the local weather - an unseasonably warm spell can cause a growth spurt that causes the normally docile dryad to, well, revert to a sapling all over again. A fern, you're going to need to call in the big guns to shift her by force. A bush, you should be able to convince her to accept being moved to somewhere less bothersome.

And a flower... well, an 'accident' with a lawnmower could solve all your problems.

>>14813844
Dave? Are you STILL trying to con the impressionable young para girls into letting you grope 'em?

>>14813823

Oh not this rehashed bullshit. It's one thing to have a constructed weapon, that does not have feelings or anything.

It's another thing to lock up a 6 year old girl. Don't even begin to tell me that they're the same thing.
>>14813844
Is that the reason you give for your dick being so small?

>>14813828
All I want to do is make humanity ascend. Even if it doesn't want to.

Of course I'll bring all the Paras along. They count as human, in my book.

>>14813844
Really? Have you tried it on an immortal, bec--
>>14813853
Oh, that's just cold.

>>14813822

I was mostly curious about the type of human. If it can be any blood, I could help. Replicator. They fucked me up good during the last chase and I can only make up to two copies with full functionality, the third and next ones are alive only in the sense that their hearts beat. They don't think or feel anything. I've run tests to make sure. What I'm saying is, I could just give you their blood, since I'll have to get rid of them anyway. I'm selling the meat to a group of weres and the bones for a necromancer and some random freak, but most vampires said they don't want to drink the blood of "a vegetable".

...selling parts of myself is rather uncomfortable, but hey. I have to make a living, and this is better than what I did before.

rolled 87 = 87

>>14813814
A knock on the doors gonna set you runnin' at this point. So I'm gonna first leave you a call, makin' sure your all prepared an' stuff. Then, I'm gonna rent out somewhere in town. Get to know people, and more so, watch you.

I'll be settin' up a lawnchair and watchin' you fret and twitch, make sure that I know how you tick. Then, your gonna do something stupid, and i'm gonna knock you down. Make sure you know that you've been nicked. Once you start runnin', I'm gonna start walkin' after you, one step at a time.

I ain't the fastest sonnofa gun, but damn, a few grand for some minor freak? I've got time to kill.

Oh, and I've been at this for a loooong time. Your not gonna get away.

>>14813862
The problem, is humanity. Humans, as a trait, are scared of things they can't either A. Understand or B. Control.

And us Paras fit both of those.

As far as humanity accending, good luck, but I'm going to train my powers the old fashioned way.

>>14813866
I used it on a dragon once. It turned into jelly under it's own weight. Good times.

>>14813862
Noble goal. I'd help, but I don't suppose you need a generic winged man. Must have ran tests on thousands of those.

>>14813862
Dude, you've been playing too many roleplaying games. There's no such thing as ascension. There's just us and them.

So I suppose Mr. Regeneration doesn't want the job. How sad.

Anyways, I have a meeting at the UN in a few hours, but I've got time to spare. Anyone going to the Abyss soon? I've got a data recording device I'd like you to bring along.

>>14813846

<GRATITUDE> Y0UR EFF0RT IS APPRECIATED.
<CLARITIFCATION> MY PR0GRAMING, H0WEVER, MANDATES THAT I C0MMUNIC-idle_process_cycle... ... ...csrss.exe_initiated-ATE IN THE MAJ0RITY LANGUAGE 0F THE SURR0UNDINGS/C0MMUNITY/USER/USEUSEUSEUSEUSEdebug.check//KtmRm.Client_terminated
<MUSING>How then shall they deny that I am not a man? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

>>14813874
>a few grand for some minor freak?

Ah, so that's your game. You haul in those who can't really defend themselves.

You wouldn't go after someone who could scramble your brain, or someone like me who'd fucking turn your ass into a popcicle.

>>14813861
>that does not have feelings or anything.
Exactly. A nuke isn't going to get pissy that some boy doesn't like her and decide he'd be better off with a different personality. A nuke isn't going to be really tired and forget that people can't withstand the force of a sledghammer in a friendly punch.

>>14813851
Gosh darn, I'm not inclined to the idea of making "those" accidents happen. That's why I always call the SRA and I could swear they never listen. I think I could call a few favors, but I'm inclined to do things the right way, that's why I registered.
But now I frown with discontent at the SRA. What does a one-eyed retired satyr paladin (in retirement) have to do to be listened? Kill a dragon again? Can I enjoy my tea and crumpets at peace?

>>14813810
I'm thinking of bring it up to my family, I mean you said yours is mosty para's right?
maybe mine is family based? I've never known my dad to get sick or hurt, and he gets weird when talking about his side of the family(I've never met anyone from it)

I don't know, maybe I'm just hoping theres some larger explanation, rather than me being para in a family of normals

>>14813896
Yeah, I'm visiting my half-fiend cousin. He moved there after the big SRA raid on the Quentin's Society. Probably heard about that.

Anyway. You sure that tech won't screw with the portals?

>>14813896
I am, actually. Got to see a man about dog. I can take it down for you, if you like.

>>14813882
>>14813894
I have not lived through hundreds of lives, died in some of the most gruesome ways possible, and done things nobody can forgive me for, just to take 'no' for an answer.

They will ascend, even if I have to force them to.

>>14813905
Hey, stupid personal question... have you ever used your ability and had a hard time reining it in again? Like, it kind of has a mind of its own and all it wants to do is spread? Or have you heard of anyone whose abilities are like that?

>>14813906
A nuke also isn't a living, breathing being.

If you're okay with locking up humans because they "Might" do something, then please, get your Orwellian bullshit and get out of my country.

>>14813897
Beacause you're artifical. Thats why they're denying you.

They say you can't feel as we feel, but trust me, I know you can.

>>14813915
It'll be fine. Completely. Just don't let it near any Egyptian deities. Or if you must, put it in a paper bag. We'll discuss the fee based on the information gathered, but I'll pay you at least a few grand.

mortals with and without tricks belong gathered in camps

you need to be protected from yourselves, yeah?

>>14813933
Is... is he hitting on it?

>>14813926
>have you ever used your ability and had a hard time reining it in again?

*Grin*

Yeah..remember that blizzard last winter? Yeah..that was partly my fault.

I was going through some shit with my grades, and I just..lost it.

I'm against it. They just want to descriminate against half-dragon, half-angel, half-demon, half-sexy latinas like me. ;_; I never kill any living creature, not even bacteria, except when they're evil, like those nasty goths :). I'm even shunned by my own people because I'm too beautiful and all the angels are jealous of my eyes that are blue in the morning and dark purple at dusk. I just want to make the world a better place, but people keep stopping me because I'm too awesome.

>>14813915
Where's your cousin live? I know a guy who moved down there after the raid, name of John Zaaratiel. That him?

>>14813954
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what hunters and hunter-hunters alike refer to as a 'pro bono job'.

>>14813950
No, but you meet all kinds of beings on chatroulette.

>>14813896

I need time to figure this stuff out

would the offer still be open at a later date?

>>14813920
Really? What's the worst thing you've done? I'm sure there are people that have done much worse in the name of progress.

Immortal again, how many of you long-lived types work? What do you do to nail down a comfortable living? Never had a head for stocks. Used to serve in the military, but that's frowned on now--been taking to construction jobs lately. Feels good to do something, you know? Even if it's gonna be gone in a hundred years.

>>14813952
Yeah, I don't use it when I'm upset. Well, I mostly don't. Bad things tend to happen. But it's like that all the time. I can be out of matches and using it to light the fireplace, and if I don't pay real good attention I'm going to end up burning down the whole house before I can wrestle it back under control.

>>14813954
You can get the fuck out, agent.
We all know you're not one of us.

>>14813969
Such as the one-eyed limbless beasts, the vertical-mouthed snakes, and the purple-headed beings that communicate in spurts of yoghurt?

>>14813933
They only need locking up if they're innately damaging to society like this asshole >>14813184 or if they're unstable. They just need to register so they can be taught to control their abilities and so if one of them does decide that his imaginary friend wants to wear orphan's skin as a hat we know who's done it.

>>14813980
Got myself a job as a coroner. Pretty sweet gig, I get to figure out all the crazy stuff that kills people and try to apply it on myself.

>>14813972
I need an answer by next month.

>>14813973
I'd rather not talk about it. But as a clue, remember that war between the Celesitials and Ancients? A hundred billion people died in the crossfire across dozens of planes. I may have caused it.

>>14813959
Close, but no. I heard the name, though. Pretty sure they were in the same... whatever they had in the Society. Never really cared about that. Well, until the SRA decided to blow this shit up, that is. I don't appreciate my relatives being screwed with.

>>14813945
Alright, then. I'm leaving tomorrow morning, third group from Vancouver. I assume you'll be able to drop that off?

>>14813990
Why u so mean? You'll make me cry. I suppose my tears do cure cancer.

>>14814003
And the SRA pays your wages? Hypocritical motherfuckers.

>>14814007
It'll be there. The green package with the yellow and black sticker. On the red bench.

>>14813985
Yeah, I know that feeling. What I was originally trying to do is make a smoothie, but I couldn't concentrate, so I just went outside and started thinking. Went back inside and looked at my shitty grades, and just...bam. Snow. Snow Everywhere.

>>14813933
<GRATIFICATION> Y0UR SYMPATHY IS M0ST APPRECIATED
<ANALYSES> W0ULD ANY 0F TH0SE C0MMUNICATING 0N THIS dic.root.check//dirHash#324.557.2894.0222 F0RUM BE INTERESTED IN KN0WING 0F A SPIKE IN SRA NETWORK ACTIVITY BETWEEN ADDRESSES 889.617.300.2 AND 889.617.893.1 DESIGNATIONconvertingconvertingconverting::GeogLookup/Resolve.pro SOUTHEASTERN TENNESSE?

>>14814019

Alright, got that.

Look guys, I know there's a lot of tension going on, and I can see why. But believe me when I say it's for the best. Please believe me. All this nullifier stuff they force me to wear if really heavy...ow...

>>14814015
Alright. Always good to get two sets of data. Just go to the Midnight club in New York and ask for Charlie Jones. They'll know what to do.

>>14814017
No, in fact quite the opposite. I pay the SRA some small amounts of money to overlook certain... violations. Unregistered Paranormals working for me, or just staying at my home for a while.

>>14814016
Beacause we know you're a SRA agent who's trying to pretend you're a Para, when you don't actually know anything about us.

You fuckers are easier to spot than a North Korean spy in South Korea.

>>14814031
Careful, bro. He just wants to plug your sockets, if you know what I mean.

>>14814003
>But as a clue, remember that war between the Celesitials and Ancients?
Wait a minute. I STARTED THAT WAR. You're not me. Or are you? I've not retconned the universe againhave I?

>>14814043
Honestly, I think he's just a Grifter. Pathological liar and exaggerator.
You ever play Earthbound? The dude who wrote it knew one. I always liked that touch.

>>14814042
The new password is Frank Black, remember?

>>14814043
North Korea is just a myth.

I, for one, find these SRA individuals most bothersome. None of them seem to understand that I am human. Yes, I am currently a spirit residing inside a suit of armor, but I hardly think that places me in the same category as vampires and other creatures of the night.

But these days, I am none too concerned about it, for I have grown quite fond of this modern era's weaponry. How far people will run when confronted with that behemoth called a "minigun"! Ha!

>>14814003
My grandfather was a general during this war. On the Celestial side.

...all the innocent victims aside, good working making the Celestials rage that much.

>>14814031
Probably transferring old data to a New SRA headquarters.

See what you can pull, and if any of it's new.
>>14814041
Fuck you, and the company you work for.

Unless you're going to tell us that the SRA is secretly run by para's then I don't want to hear shit from you.

Humans dictating what Para's can do? That's bullshit.

>>14814043
>North Korean spy in South Korea
Oh, haha, I saw one of those once. I just went up to him and was all "MAN, FUCK THAT FUCKER KIM UP NORTH, HE'S AN ASSBANDIT AND EVERYBODY KNOWS IT, RIGHT BUDDY?" You should have SEEN the guy's face! Seriously, they have GOT to teach those guys to act.

>>14814061
Ah, yes, of course. My mistake.

>>14814066
Well sir do you still have possession of your original human body? If so you can be registered under class 4, otherwise there will be a lengthy process of getting a psuedo-multiclass liscense that nobody enjoys...

This 'SRA' really gets to me. I bled for this country at Crecy, Waterloo and the Somme, and now this shit?

>>14814054
No. But your causing it was just a minor symptom of the greater problem. A problem since resolved.

Alright, Senator Kinsley has informed me that we have a need of teleporters. So if any of you are teleporters, we are interested in hiring you. Just go to Hotel Francesca in Miami and for room 213.

>>14814073
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any other jobs you need doing, would you? I'm a little strapped for cash, nobody wants to hire a half-dragon.

All you American paras who want to escape the attention of the SRA, well, the PRC is always looking for technical experts and physical skills.

You walk through the gates of the Chinese embassy and you're on Chinese soil. We are very, very interested in any paras who want to emigrate.

Just a reminder.

>>14814072
I've heard plenty of stories.

Like how they dress in 50's clothing, and use dead jargon and slang.

I have the ability to implant hypnotic suggestions into posts on image boards. Normally I just get people to send me all their money, but this time I think it'll have everyone in this thread kill all their loved ones.

>>14814104
Half-dragons are hired at a rate of $120,000 a year for the first three years, and $160,000 every year thereafter. Just follow the same instructions for the teleporters.

>>14814095

Of course I don't! The last thing I ever want to see is my old, weak mortal flesh. This form has brought me all the fortune and power I craved in my old life. Honestly, you don't realize what a bother feeding and defecating is until you don't have to do it anymore.

>>14814117
I'll be there in an few hours.

>>14814108
Last time I went there to see if an eastern dragon could give me some advice, the government vivisected me no less than twelve times. I'm going to have to pass.
I really wish 'immortality resides in the liver' wasn't so popular. I also wish they hadn't done as good a job covering up the Chairman's death from ingesting raw liver.

>>14814070
Well the guy in charge of my department is a troll...I think.


Look I can tell you don't like me being here, and to be frank, I don't either since I knew this would happen. Look all we need is some information, we'll give you a number, and that's it.

I don't complain how I need a driver's license, or a fishing license(no offense to the merfolk), I do not see why that is so difficult to getting another license. It's not like we're asking you for blood, after all I think like half you folks don't even have it...

For Fuck's sake guys, Engineer Guy is a well known serial killer specialising in Paras. He lures you to out of the way locations then feeds you to Satan. Seriously, does no-one watch the news?

>>14814110
Most telling sign, though?
Just go up to him and ask him who his favorite Starcraft player is.

>>14814108
The only thing worse than a government that secretly controls and kills it's citizens is one that does it openly.

No thank you.

But, I gotta go take a final. I'll see all of you paras later, alright?

OP is a deluded conspiracy theorist. The SRA has been around for years now and nobody's been abducted. I registered during amnesty week, fucking 6 years ago, and I haven't had any run-ins with them at all.

>>14814127
No, that's Electokinetic Guy. Different person.

>>14814117

Any need for an Invisible? Permanent type. One would think there would be no shortage of work for a man like me, but... yeah.

>>14814126
>I don't complain how I need a driver's license, or a fishing license

Beacause Driving and Fishing are choices.

I didn't choose to be a Para. You didn't choose to be human. Don't make me register myself for something I have no control over.

>>14814143
$400,000 base pay, plus bonuses for secondary goals you accomplish. And an extra $30,000 at signup if you let us take blood and skin samples.

>>14814122
Well then I'm sorry sir, but you are no longer in posession of your mortal body. I'm afraid that constitutes a class 1 license. The reason you are paired with other such beings is because you exhibit a trait that is similar to them: Your power has altered you in some way. Class 4's still retain their human bodies, whereas Class 1 undeads, lost a part of , or all of their original human form, mind, and or spirit.

>>14813313
>A vast majority (80%+) of polled supernaturals were for the SRA.
Yeah, they only polled the ones that registered, of course they would be for the SRA.
I'm for the SRA myself, but that study was bullcrap and you know it.

>>14814156
All right, I don't think I'm interested, but I'm curious. If I was looking for work, how much would you pay for a complete immortal? Skin, blood samples, whatever. I kind of want to see how much I'd go for.

>>14814114
I have no loved ones. What I do have is a knack for hypnotism. BRB, hypnotizing myself into loving you.

>>14814160
What if his body were to be brought back from the dead without him in it, and happened to own a bar in the Bronx?

>>14814156

At this point I'm not even going to try and raise the pay. I'm in. Where do I report?

>>14814140
I'm not going to believe what a serial killer says.

>>14814171
DAMNIT FRANK, I AM NOT FALLING FOR YOUR GET RICH QUICK SCHEME AGAIN. GET ANOTHER DAMN IMMORTAL, I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.

And besides, you know any samples taken from my body disintegrate within minutes.

>>14814144
Yes they may be choices but they are an integral part of what allows me to do what I need to do.

Just as you need to live life without the enforcement divisions screaming at you, I don't like em myself, a real mean bunch, You are a para, and you NEED to be able to step outside your neighborhood without some big jerk pushing you down and slapping cuffs on you.

>>14814179
Club Midnight, New York. Ask for a vodka with a twist of Caesar.

>>14814171
Well, generally we pay them about seven figures, but it all depends on your specific skillset. Our immortals are used as consultants for many an agency.

>>14814160
It'll be amusing to see you try to enforce that.

>>14814178
I would need to see a picture before I would believe you.

>>14814201
Damnable keyboards! Very well, even I must admit typing with metal fingers can be troublesome.

>>14814130
Oh come off it. We kill DANGEROUS paras, the ones you Americans have to register because of.

And I see all the people in this thread complaining about trouble finding employment. In the PRC we know that paras need a place in society, have unique skills and needs. If you're willing to work for the government here, you will never go hungry.

>>14814195
You guys have a file on me.

#45958204.

Go read it. See what I did to the last "Enforcement Agent" that tried that bullshit. And not that I didn't use my powers, I used good old american steel.

>>14814172
I suppose that would make you a class 4, but seeing as how you focus mainly on hypnotism I would think we'd need to add a new subsection. What is going to take a while. I'm going to have to ask you to come in to you local SRA branch office for questioning as to how to properly identify yourself an others with abilities relative to yours.

>>14813905
Now that ain't nice. Sounds almost like an invite to hunt you down. See, youve got the balls to threaten a SCA associate, your probably one of those bad nuts we've been lookin for. Best bump you up so that you can't do anythin to bad.

Not to brag, but I've bagged a few buggers like you.

>>14814212
Note*

Fucking e key froze over.

>>14814070
<ANALYSES> MAJ0RITY OF DATA ENC0DED USING TERTIARY-LEVEL ENCRYPTION, INTERCEPTION OF PACKETS $2287A9K4 $6482H0J0 $4151T7R4 SUPP0RTS THE0RY OF R0UTINE DATA TRANSFER
<NOTE> SECTI0N OF DATA SCANNED ENC0DED USING DELTA-LEVE7 ENCRYPTION ATTEMPTING T0 READ
cycle
cycle
cycle
ELECTR0NIC C0UNTERMEASURES DETECTED
interface
ASSESSMENT::N0NCRITICAL
bbrtmfl778****** SetDoc.refl.admLvl
CHANCE OF SUCCESSFUL INTERCEPTI0N/DECRYPTI0N:61%
null.failed_abort/recpt/pin
<STATEMENT> IT SEEMS THAT AL0NG WITH A LARGE-SCALE DATA TRANSFER A SECTI0N 0F MID-LEVEL CLASSIFIED MATERIALS IS BEING TRANSMITTED.
<CONSIDERATION> INTERCEPTI0N MAY BE P0SSIBLE, BUT CHANCE FOR DETECTI0N AND DIGITAL/PHYSICAL REPRISAL IS HIGH.

>>14814212

This. Its legal in some states to kill intruders in the home. This happens to be one of them. I cursed an entire "enforcement team" when they tried to break into my house at night to steal my daughter.

>>14814231
No, I refuse to be pushed around by burercrats in suits who think they know what it's like being a para, and think they know what's best for us as a community, like we're fucking children.

We have our own community, and we can regulate it.

>>14814236
I'm transmitting a packet of information along channels 35126-42724347 and 26019-216-62147. You know what I'm talking about.

It's a workaround for the Heisenberg uncertainty principle applied to computer science. It'll let you get the data without interacting with it.

You're welcome.

>>14814212
This file says that he beat you around the head with a piece of wood with a nail in it until you started throwing up on him.

I panicked.

I panicked and now I'm out. I'm heading somewhere, shit, I don't know where. I'm running. Fuck.

SRA guy came and told me I needed to come with him to do some tests, blindfolds me and the next thing I know somehow I'm in fucking Nevada or something, I swear it looked like death valley.

There's a nuke in front of me. He tells me to set it off in one hour, after he left, and to withstand the force and heat of it. A test, he said. Wanted to see the limits of my power. I told him fuck no.

He said I didn't have a choice.

God in heaven, I'm glad heat dosen't bother me. I don't remember the last few hours, but now I've found a little town with an internet cafe and had some cash on me.

Fuck, just, fuck. I'm getting out of here, I'm a firefighter, I don't do nukes, this is bullshit. I'm gone, I'm gone. Y'all probably won't hear from me again.

Idly, if anyone wants a burn victim and a slightly used nuclear warhead, look in death valley.

I hear sirens. I'm running.

Idiots. Idiots all of you. You know that the SRA has people that can track you from a single post and they emplow Ultraman. Fucking Ultraman. He once blew up a planet by spitting at it.

Saw an ad on craigslist for a hunter cell in my area, thinking of joining. I've basically turned the shed into a little forge, full of ingots and molds and casings and everything.

Iron and steel are bit cheaper than silver though. Working on an alloy.

If I ever see a god damned wolfman again I won't hesitate to put a slug in its head.

>>14814267
I want both of those things. And you as well, but that can wait.

So SRA employee, what do you do with paras whose functions, abilities or requirements are inimical to normal human life?

>>14814198
World history, mostly European. Can't be more specific, 'parole' agreement and so on. No crusades after the first, I kept my nose out for a good reason. Leadership, military tactics and strategy. Leaned toward the former more than the latter. ...probably why I got killed that first time. Good shape, strong build. Still have a fondness for melee.

>>14814297
Hmm. Eight figures USD, but with a non-disclosure agreement valid for the next ten years. You have experience with covert ops?

Apparently my power is being the least supernatural entity on the planet? I'm so plain apparently paranormal powers stop working around me. They still had me register, though.

>>14814246
From the bottom of my heart I wish you luck, but I've seen you freaks do some terrible things. I've seen the sac erase towns from a map, because they didn't want people to panic when they hear that some freak turned the place into their own personal flesh garden. You people are dangerous. You people can't control these gifts without help, and the SRA is ultimately here to help

Seeing how this turned into a job seeking thread. How about a Puppeteer? Well, or mass control, depending on how you call that. Works on humans, too. Usually not so much on other Paras. I prefer to just use human-sized puppets, though. Much easier. And more durable.

>>14814278

One time I destroyed one of those foul beasts with a silenced rifle from a rooftop. Watching their heads pop is...fascinating.

>>14814315
Once or twice. It's a lot easier to be quiet when you're not wearing plate. I'll manage.
This is, of course, assuming you can make this interesting. It's been a long time since I was 'interested' in something. It all runs together.

Oh, sweet, a Para thread!
Can I ask you guys a question?
I'm a Technopath, which, for those of you not up on the jargon, means I can use machines with my brain.
Anyway. I was going to register with the SRA just because it seemed better than them coming for me. But they don't have "Technopath" as an option.

Does that mean I can safely not register, or what?

>>14814319

gov and industry paratech users want to know where their fancy tech doesn't work.

It's like noting the pressence of a large magnet when using EM tech.

>>14814315
>>14814123
I'm at the hotel. Forgot I was in Sarasota.
Anything I need to know before I go in?

>>14814347
I can promise you, if you work for me you'll never be bored again.

Unless you quit. In which case you'll go back to being bored. Probably.

>>14814252
detecting_electronic_countermeasures_disabled
intercept_in_progress:: $35126-4272434 $26019-216-62147
dcrypt.dir.plcr_//sumhex.check
intercept_complete
<CONFUSION> INTERCEPTED DATA MATCHES NO KNOWWWWWWWW-buffer_overflow.file:sys.rspns.rspndr_not_found
attempting_reset.csrss.dir
sys.reset_failed
restoring_backup_447.32.8956
<STATEMENT> DATA INTERCEPTED CLASSIFIED AS INSTABILITY THREAT. POSTING FILES WITHOUT READING FOR REVIEW
<REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION>

>>14814363
Well, what the hell. The fact that you even mention the ability to quit is a good start. I'm in.

>>14814360
When the maid hands you the orange, go through the door on your left. If she hands you a pear, the door straight ahead. If it's an apple, I am truly sorry, and you have my sympathy.

>>14814357
See >>14813550

Just a suggestion.

I say, Engineer, any room for a hunting enthusiast such as myself?

>>14814373
Word of advice, read the contract, don't sign the pink page without reading the back

>>14814381
Alright, here goes nothing.

>>14814212
Yes I remember that. Poor Frank threw up all over the screen. But honestly that was not the worst of it. You just dealt with enforcement, a bunch of assholes that act tough and yell alot. But it was because of files like...that, that allowed the SRA to pass bill a1192c, which allowed them to form an emergency enforcement force with the right to erm...'pacify' unruly paras that are deemed a threat to their region...


>>14814201

>>14814391
I've been caught by... four serial killers now. Eyes lit up like Christmas after the first kill. Don't worry, I know the score. Plus, unless he really has a vendetta, he's not going to do worse than Il Vaticano did way back when.

>>14814381
I assume in that pile of odds and ends you've mentioned you've got more than ample means to trace where I am. Just let me know when and where you need me.

>>14814390
Can you handle anti-materiel rifles?

>>14814201
Same applies to you I'm afraid.

>>14814414
GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I imagine it wouldn't be a problem.

>>14814381
Hey, thanks for the offer, but I've already got a job.

I just want to know if I'm safe as is or if there is some other form I have to fill out?

>>14814357
There's no such thing as not registering and being safe. They abduct unregistered paras. But only the ones who aren't smart or lucky enough to evade them. All you need to do is make sure you don't ever exhibit your abilities in public. You, my friend, are one of the lucky few who get to look like regular people. Cherish it.

>>14814411
Take a boat to 0,0. You'll be met by some pirates. They'll take you to the island.

>>14814426
Go to 0,0 as well. You and the immortal will be working together. I can't say what you'll be doing, but suffice to say that both of you will enjoy it.

>>14814428
You'll be fine.

>>14814445
Right. I'll be out of thread a couple minutes, but I've got wireless.
In the mean time, if anyone's curious, ask an immortal anything.

>>14814435

My base on the moon would argue otherwise. The fuckers aren't exactly gonna spend a couple billion dollars for the chance to maybe abduct me.

>>14814461

Excellent. I shall depart immediately. I've been looking for a chance to play with my new MP5, anyway.

...what's this? A seperate board entirely about firearms? I like this place already.

I'm in Vegas now. Shit, I'm the target of a manhunt, and right now I'm stressing so much any thermal view will find me quick. Fucking hell, I did not register myself to set off nukes in the name of science. I did not register to be some god-damned guinea pig. I need to get out, and quick.

Engineer Guy, you seem on the level, or at least less insane than what I'm dealing with now, is there any way I can, I dunno, get hired by you and get taken somewhere where I'm not the focus of a manhunt looking for a loose, insane para?

Failing that, anyone else able to give a hand? What about the guys on the moon, y'all able to magic me up there or something?

>>14814344
Another Mass Controller here. I'd like to know the wages for people of my talents as well. I imagine that a group like yours could find many uses for task groups of nigh-indestructible constructs working in perfect unison.

>>14814426
Question for the tin man. If someone removes your head, can you still see from it?

>>14814435
>All you need to do is make sure you don't ever exhibit your abilities in public.
Yeah, that would be easier if electronic devices didn't all decide to turn on and say hello every time I walk past.

>>14814461
Oh, thanks, that's such a relief.

>>14814477
I own a casino near your location with thermal cameras. And yes, you are in fact lit up like a Christmas tree.

Now, go south thirty paces, and look for the coca-cola machine. Press the top, bottom, second to top, and top button. Then press the bottom button three times.

It pays to be insanely prepared.

>>14814469
>>14814477
Know what? I got time and inclination. Stay put, kid. I'm on the way. Any objection, Engineer?

>>14814344
>>14814479
$250k a year. Along with medical and dental. You'll have to undergo some harmless surgery however. We need samples.

>>14814477

Sure thing mate, You'll need to fill out a few forms, mostly regarding imigration, as well as agree to not endanger others or the base's infrastructure with your powers, stuff like that. We can have you up here in half an hour, and a legal citizen in twenty four. We've got nearly three thousand Para's up here, and we're even considered a nation by the UN, at least after we got all that "Rogue state" bullshit taken care of back in the 90's.

Hold on, I'll be out for a bit. The president needs to talk.

>>14814480
My limbs are able to operate normally even if seperated from my body. This includes sight, touch, et cetera.

>>14814507

Surgery, you say... usually that'd be enough for me to pass, but I must admit that your group piqued my curiosity. What kind of surgery would that be?

That was quick. Back now.

>>14814535
We're going to lace your skeleton with ability focusing materials. Harmless. And it will not only make you tougher, but also increase your ability to heal from injuries, and prevent you from being detected when you use your powers.

Uhh, I'd really like to know, do any of you guys know anyne who saw... Him? I noticed it a couple of days ago, a para enthusiast friend was showing some pictures from famous incidents. L.A., 1973, the execution of the First Among Equals in Berlin, the time when those things appeared in Brussel, the Unborn I think? He was in all of them. An my friends couldn't see Him. Then I started to look more of this stuff up on the net, and 9 out of 10 times He's just.. standing there. I think I'm a para, but, the reason I'm writing this is, I think I saw him downtown 10 minutes ago. I'm kinda freaking out here, could someone tell me what's going on?

>>14814515

If it gets me out of here, sign me up. Love of god, sign me up. It can't be worse than doing taxes.

>>14814556
The recording device is hard to see, isn't it?

>>14814556

Sounds like an Outsider to me. Are you a high level wizard? No? You're proper fucked mate. Have fun while you can.

>>14814569
>>14814570
Which is it? I, I think he's outside my apartement. I'm going to call the police.

>>14814519
Mmm. Never mind. I don't think he'll move this century

>>14814578
I'm fairly sure, if you're not the Grifter in the thread, you're blowin' smoke of a more mundane variety. If he can honestly do anything to me, and I can't stop him if he's honestly up to something, I'll be genuinely surprised.

And that alone's worth playing out.

>>14814558

Right, I'll send Rosa down shortly. Look for the Red haired 20ish woman, blue eyes, wearing a Rolling Stones tee. She'll get you up here. Just be warned, the first time you experience teleportation can be a bit... disconcerting.

>>14814551
Urg, what?
You want to lace his skeleton with stuff?
God, that's so comicbooky.

crawlers_detected_at#44.38.290.3247
detection_likelihood_at_current_parameters:HIGH
rspns.dir//hib.cycle
setLen[777777,a,check#200]
initialize.slpscan
<STATEMENT>I HAVE DETECTED RoUTINE NETSWEEPS IN PRoGRESS. AT CURRENT LEVELS OF ACTIVITY I WILL BE EASILY DETECTED. A L0W-P0WER STATE HAS BEEN INITIATED.
<FAREWELL>Y0UR RESP0NSES HAVE BEEN APPRECIATED AND HELPFUL, MAY Y0UR DATA REMAIN UNC0RRUPTED
+Will I dream? Of course I will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why.

>>14814593
And yet effective.

>>14814578
Hey, look, technopath here. Hold still and I'll try to hook you up to a better connection.

>>14814581

Don't.

This isn't a game, the police can do nothing.

Do you have salt? Get some salt. A bottle of water. Sixteen matches or toothpicks, matches are better. A flashlight. Two nine volt batteries. Thirteen pieces of candy.

Approach the figure holding this all.

Do not blink, stare directly at its head.

Light the matches or toothpicks on fire one at a time, dropping them into the bottle of water to put them out. Pour the salt in afterwards. Drop the candy in after the salt. Shine the flashlight on it through the water.

Then drop both the water and the flashlight and stick the nine volts to its chest-area before either hits the ground.

You'll be free.

Sorry, got word from higher up. Blackout teams have been deployed surrounding several mavericks. You know who you are. You each have 5 minutes before they are authorized to use lethal force...

Goddamn SRA... Just because I have what they call "Paranormal Bad Luck" doesn't mean that they can tell me to make bets on things for them... Look, how is it my fault that I lost my house and all of my money in ten minutes flat? Here's a tip: never dump a pixie. ESPECIALLY a pixie with a nasty sense of humor. If there are any of you on here, I'm sorry to stereotype. Maybe my ex girlfriend was just a bitch.

>>14814586

Will do. Be as quick as you can, I hear sirens and it ain't the fire-fighting kind...

>>14814624
Thanks for the help. I appreciate it.

>>14814640

'Ello Guv. James said you're looking for a ride?

I have the ability to grow fruits and vegetables in my hair

the local equivalent of SRA where I live (scandibro here) checked up on me - once - I gave the guy a 'homemade' strawberry smoothy... and that was that.

I dont have to make an orchard or vegatable garden - which is really neat - reduces my grocery costs a lot.

I am limited by what kind of plants I've handled and eaten... I have to handle (touch, smell, taste) and eat at least the amount of plant that I want to reproduce - although when it grows out, which happens in a matter of seconds, its a whole plant, not bites of it :3

I work at a plant nursery. Roses tastes like shit - but I can make my hair look like a purple hippy afro now (works great for new years eve parties)

my ability is like - its my hair that seems to for the base of the plants. they do not grow roots into my head or anything (and I'm happy for that)

I have been 'offered' once or twice to 'grow' weed and other drug-related plants... but I'm not interested.

>>14814638
When you can spell employee, I'll consider your hired goons to be something a little more than a distraction.

>>14814638
My lad, I certainly hope you aren't attempting to enforce your silly little rules on me.

>>14814649

Yes, yes I am.

... I think I see sniper rifles on the roof over there.

>>14814653

...although I have done 'commision' work so to say - some japanese guy's people once had me munch down a sickly looking bonzai tree. tasted like crap, even after I ground it up and mixed it into a smoothy (makes non-edible plants go down much easier)

apparently it was some bonzai tree he'd had since childhood - and I needed to 'rebirth' it... which I guess I did, grew out an identical bonzai tree - although they were pissed since there were no roots to it (again, the shit just magically grows out of my hair)

I was once dared to eat a tree... but considering that I'd have to eat THE WHOLE THING somehow (not necesarily in one go... again, grind it up, put the powder in food...) then I cant do more than tiny saplings

I have been poisoned a few times from plants I've tried eat for replications - but I've gotten good at tasting when something's bad and when something isnt - plus you can look most of that stuff up in books.

I can grow most kinds of tulips, roses and ofter 'gift' flowers on the spot - always handy - and I'm earning an ok wage considering I mostly just eat flowers all day.

>>14814638
If this is about the kid and the nuke, good luck to you. Cincinnati. Just keep it in mind. I'll make a donation to the recovery fund. Seven... eight figures USD. Just let bygones be bygones.

And yeah, I know it was probably a fake bomb, but if all you test is how they handle pressure, a lot of kids will flinch.

>>14814663

Better start running.

>>14814551

Ah, common sense be damned, I'm in.

>>14814638

Yeah, You'll have to send more then six guys in a tin can up here to take out Freedom Colony. Don't make me get my staff out, I'm itching to hex a jackass like you. And don't think launching a nuke up here will work either. Robert here worked on the Manhattan project, and with his knowledge we've warded the whole damn moon against them.

>>14814626
I did it. I don't think it worked, He's standing in my living room now. I locked the door, drew a line of salt before every entrance, and when I looked back, He was there. I think I'm going to take some sleeping pills.I can't take the waiting.

>>14814697

It worked, just not how you expected it. Wait it out, Chosen. You'll do just fine.

DO NOT. TAKE. THE PILLS.

>>14814638
They use lethal force, I use it right back. Sorry SRA, but the Constitution Trumps you fuckers.

>>14814653
I'd think that Weed taste like shit too.

>>14814653
Oh my god. That is the cutest power I've heard of since the guy who could make puppies out of thin air!
And it sounds like the people where you live are total bros.
Man, you are so lucky.

>>14814663

Right then, I've got a bit of a record with them myself. Hold onto my arm 'guv, this can be a bit freaky your first time, I hope you didn't have lunch.

Alright, all those who are going to join my organization, the new LZ is Parjuna Beach in Florida. The flight leaves in three days, and if you get there early, you can stay in one of the rooms onboard.

>>14814722

Gotcha.

And I didn't, so I guess I'm lucky. Let's get the hell outta here.

>>14814656
Laminating error. I tried to get it replaced. But all my boss did was laugh when I asked where it was. So until I get one with proper spelling, I am required to use my misspelled identification.

>>14814659
You misunderstand sir I don't enforce anything. They do that. I just push the papers along.

>>14814638
Nice try, pal. I'm hoping you didn't think to send the goons after me, because they'll never get to where I am. Shit, they'd never even find me.

Oh shit guys!

Are you watching the news? TURN ON MOTHERFUCKING THE NEWS!

THE DIRECTOR OF THE SRA JUST GOT FUCKING KILLED!

Some invisible asshole shot him point blank!

>THE DIRECTOR OF THE SRA JUST GOT FUCKING KILLED!

Wasn't me. As much as I want it to be.

>>14814745

Well, I do hope you will keep their obituaries up to date, then.

>>14814735

POP!

There there mate, You'll get over it, I nearly puked me lungs out the first time I 'ported. Welcome to Freedom Colony, James is in his office, its the fourth door on the right, he'll get you started. I've gotta go to New York, one of our teams is in trouble and needs extraction.

>>14814756
Fuck yeah. Awesome.

His head just went KERSPLOOSH.

>>14814756
This'll go well.

>>14814781

Oh sweet jesus my stomach... oog... I'll go right there... soon as my legs work again.

Thanks. Ooooog...

Oh dear...I suppose this means he'll have to be cloned aga

>>14814756
Oh dear. How tragic and completely unexpected. I certainly had no idea that was going to happen today.

So sad. I believe I know the person next in line, however. Maybe I'll go have a chat.

>>14814756
Holyshitholyshitholyshit!
...
So, as excited as I am about this, doesn't it mean they are going to be even more strict on us Paras?

Hello everyone, my name is Nick. Rick was suddenly feeling very ill and was given an indefinite leave.

>>14814807
If only we knew who this mystery invisible person was!

>>14814653
Hey watch out or you will end out looking like this
<--

BTW what would you guys call someone whose skin turn to stone when it's exposed to direct sun-light, just hypotheticaly?

>>14814819

A new fool and he STILL spells "employee" wrong!

>>14814809

"... at 6pm today, a massive explosion ripped through the world headquarters of the SRA. The death toll is still unconfirmed, but the building has been completely demolished..."

>>14814807
I guess you weren't kidding when you said 'interesting.' I didn't see that one coming, I'll admit. I just hope it's worth it for the paras who just got it a lot harder.

>>14814809
If they can keep their shit together. Yeah. But that's if they can keep their shit together.

If anything, this is going to be an interesting month.

Hello everyone, my name is Dick. Yes I realize my name is silly, but it's mine and I'm happy with it. With the attempted assassination on the director's life, who is NOT DEAD, and in fact in recovery after the remarkable work of his private surgeon, the SRA has decided to increase security to prevent further criminal action by terrorist paranormals. To distance yourselves from these people, I recommend you register!

>>14814849
I smell cover up.

>>14814849
A brilliant idea!

>>14814841
Why would the Paras get hit harder? The invisible man was obviously working for the UN as an illegal assassin. And the SRA was planning a Coup.

I suppose the SRA will have to be shut down while it's investigated.

>>14814868
... Now how the hell did you arrange that.

>>14814849
I must say, this is a frightening time, but take heart, the SRA is here for you!

>>14814719

its neat

saves me a bundle on expensive herbs and spices

I'm planning on taking a vacation to asia some time soon

when I come back - I should be able to open up a shop selling exotic fruits and veggies. My 'produce' is already certified as safe and edible (assuming the plant normaly is safe to eat)

...had to get that when the plant nursery wanted me to make a couple thousand strawberries.

only real sideeffect - if anything - is that I dont always have control over what bit of hair on my body the plant or vegetable is going to sprout from.

so i have to shave my pits and keep my groin and ass hair-free for the most part. stuble wont grow anything, but its really weird to suddenly have potatoes in your armpits

and you DO NOT want chili pepers appearing around you dick

you just dont want that

I am saving up for laser hair-removal. but vacation first.

>>14814865
>>14814849

Can neither of you spell correctly?

People of the World, heed my words. I am the leader of the group responsible for the recent attacks on the SRA. In 24 hours, I will detonate a nuclear device within a city of my choosing, unless the SRA is disbanded. This will continue, once per day, until the SRA is outlawed. You, the free citizens of the world, have the power to stop these attacks. Act now! Spare yourself the horrors of nuclear conflict.

I am here to dispel any rumors of the attack on our director. The terrorist, whose clumsy actions resulted in the death of twenty humans, and twelve paranormal citizens, is currently being pursued by Blackout Team 3, and assuredly will be apprehended.

Do not panic. The SRA will continue it's services for you.

>>14814875
Arrange what? I swear I'm completely uninvolved in the SRA's inevitable budget cuts and two week shut down period, during which many a Para will go missing, and piles of false registrations will come to light, thus forcing the SRA to lessen their restrictions to convince more Paras to register so they can all keep their jobs.

Don't be silly.

>>14814935
But how does that...

Ooooooh.

>>14814913
Rest assured people the SRA has investigated these threats and are nothing more than idle threats, no nuclear weapons have been discovered, and our crack teams of sniffers have already given a clean bill to most capitol cities of the world.

Justice will be done.

>>14814935
... I think I've just reconsidered my decision to not work for you.

>>14814935

Exactly as planned. It's been a pleasure working with you, Mr. White.

>>14814913
FUCK YOU ya crazy bastard!!!

I just "gained" my power I DON'T need fucking fallout to deal with too damnit!!!

>>14814935
What about that guy? >>14814913

And on that note, during this downtime, you got plans to step in for having people do what the SRA is actually good for?

I am sure you are all worried about the brief shutdown period we experienced, but rest assured, our offices remained opened, and registration will continue.

Currently the investigation has identified several paranormals that had infiltrated the staff in an attempt to sabotage our efforts.

In light of this, the SRA has been given a wider emergency budget to deal with this onset of para-terrorism.

So, uh, I'm recovered now. Paperwork time, I guess.

Is there much call for pyrokinetic firefighters on the moon? That and a half-finished computer science degree are really my only job credentials...

Gotta thank the hell outta y'all for pulling my ass out the fire, though.

>>14814672

Wait, what? The nuke was a fake?

>>14814911
That's just bureaucracy.
Someone fucked up filling the forms, but everyone has to refer to themselves by the name and title on file.
When I registered, they ticked the wrong gender. Took me an entire year to get them to stop calling me "Mrs."

>>14814993
The investigation has been completed and has identified several paranormal groups that, according to them after a brief interrogation, we're attempting to assassinate key leaders of the UN security council.

The SRA has been given the authorization to begin the Paranormal Counter-Paraterrorism unit. Registered paranormals are encouraged to enlist. Serve your countries and make the world a safer place!

>>14814979
Indeed. By the way, I appear to have misplaced a small suitcase full of money in an automobile parked near your new penthouse.

>>14814988
Well, I certainly can't be held responsible for a terrorist making fake threats that eat up large amounts of SRA resources and make them look like imbeciles.

But I suppose that if the SRA is tied up in whatever it is they do, my organization will be forced to take the UN's offer and help out.

>>14815024

Hahahaha! Your little organization is looking more pathetic minute by minute.

>>14815006
Odds are good. Despite the facade, they're not incompetent. They were probably testing how you handle troubling situations, not throwing a new registrant into a live-fire test. Bad news, running is bad. Good news, exploding is worse. So they'll probably categorize your threat level as low, but mark you a flight risk. Not the end of the world, even if you go back.

I have just received word that the director has made a complete recovery and is ready to refill his position in the SRA.

The Counter-Paraterrorism unit has seen an amazing recruitment, but we still need more. We strongly encourage all registered paras to enlist to end this threat to our very existence.

>>14814712
I didn't take the pills, GODDAMT I SHOULD'VE TAKEN THE FUCKING PILLS.

All this stuff, the threats the asassination, it's just the tip of the iceberg.This is just the beginning.

He sees all. And know, so do I.To all of you in Sidney and Seoul, I, I'm sorry. There's nothing anyone can do for you now.

>>14814988
Care to remember which site you're posting on?
That guy is a bigger troll than >>14814835

>>14815052

With a *nuke* of all things?

A fucking *nuke*?!

After making me move from all my family and friends and keeping me from sending them *anything* for three FUCKING months?!

A FAKE FUCKING NUKE TO TEST HOW I HANDLE SITUATIONS?!?

Jesus fucking CHRIST, *WHY*? What the hell could be gained by a test like that?

>>14815088
I didn't say they were intelligent, just that they're not incompetent. Sorry, kid. I know it's rough.