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03/10/11(Thu)16:10 No.14198193>>14197937
And by saying that, you've said everything that needs to.
She was strong, in every way. Too strong, maybe. But she loved life. We could have coddled her, padded everything. We could have minimized the risk of her death but we would have also minimized the fullness of her life. She was happy, always smiling. I'm going to miss that the most; her smile, her face when she pulled herself up on the pvc pipe frame I built for her, her face a signboard saying "daddy! look at me! I did it!"
I just want people to know that even in the worst times, good things happen. I've literally lived through my worst nightmare. I had to give CPR to my baby girl, even though I knew she was too gone to save. Because thats what you do, you do EVERYTHING you can, so you have no regrets. Her last breath is literally inside me. Her strength is a part of me. When I feel empty, like a familiar who's wizard has died, I think of her, and how her strength came in some part from me, and how its a part of me now.
And then I feel her strength in me. And I feel invincible. I can turn to the world and say COME AT ME BRO, because from this point on, I know that NOTHING can hurt me worse than loosing her.
I do miss her tho. I understand the supervillain motivation now, all too clearly. But that isn't what she would want. When she fell down and bonked her head, if it only hurt a little she smiled, like she was glad to feel something, to experience a new feeling. If it hurt a lot, she cried it out, then moved on.
Let that be the lesson, /tg/. Whether learned from our warforged rescue digger, or my daughter: Never give up, keep moving forward. |