>>13908115

The Chaos Space Marines are derived from George: once allies of good (as much as the Imperium can be called "good," but the pre-HH Imperium legitimately was good to its citizens), and George? His last name is "Costanza," an ITALIAN surname. Italy was an ally of Nazi Germany, the same Nazis that inspired much of the Imperium's imagery, but an Italy that "repented" of its mistake and joined Germany's enemies. In addition, consider this: George is mistaken for a Communist and goes along with the ploy, much as Chaos Space Marines pretend to be real Space Marines on planets with denizens who don't know any better. Finally, realize that Chaos has four gods. Khorne is derived from George; recall that Elaine thinks George would win in a fight against Jerry because his fighting style would involve low blows, "crotch stuff," anything he needs to do to spill blood. Blood. For the Blood God. Tzeentch is derived from George in how George is the character most likely to plan: recall the episode in which he decides to do everything he'd normally do backward, and it all works out for him, or the time he engineered a complicated phone message ploy to prevent his girlfriend from dumping him. Nurgle is also George's creation: he is sickening to look upon; Elaine once mentions that women are attracted to good heads of hair, and if George lacks any one trait, it is hair. Finally, Slaanesh? What needs be said of how a man who looks out only for his own interests inspires Slaanesh? Recall that George could not help himself during The Contest, he *had* to masturbate. He cannot help himself. It is who he is: George *is* masturbation.

The Orkz are taken from Kramer, I hope I don't need to explain the specifics.

>>13908118

You may think Jerry is an odd-one-out. There are only three "proper" chaotic factions in 40K, with the Tyranids as mostly animals and the Necrons as the resident "evil" race of order. But Jerry is the most important, and subtle, of all. What is the Imperium's single greatest threat? The Dark Eldar, for all their horror, are too small in number to do anything. The Orkz are too disorganized; they can cause trouble, but pose no real danger to the Imperium in the end. Even the Forces of Chaos in the Eye of Terror rarely penetrate past Cadia. And the Imperium's other obvious enemies are on the side of order or neutral. The Imperium's greatest threat is from *within*. From the collaborator. From the Imperial citizen who does nothing when he knows heretics and xenos are around. From the citizen who thinks a local chaos cult's danger is just "blown of proportion, they're really good enough people." The one who might even try to befriend the enemies of Man, not because he hates the Imperium, but because he honestly thinks the danger is overstated. A military large and strong enough can protect its civilians from any obvious outside threat. It is Jerry who is ultimately most likely to bring about the fall of the Imperium.

It is Jerry who is the Imperium's ultimate enemy.

...

...

...

In the Emperor's Name, what have I just read?

This is literally the dumbest thing I have read all day.

IT'S A THREAD ABOUT NOTHING!!!

Who's Newman's in this scenario?

This is the best thing.

>mfw this thread.

Buwhaaa?

>>13908262

The Inquisition.
Oppressive, vindictive, servant of a vile and incredibly militant bureaucracy ("I'm not just a Postmaster. I'm a General. And it's a General's job to BY GOD GET THINGS DONE"), flawed in far too many ways to count, greedy and selfish and petty, but always, ALWAYS *NECESSARY* for either the system or the machinations of the characters, and a bulwark which constantly serves to maintain the status quo. The Inquisition is the enemy of the heretic, George, and the xenos witch Elaine, in their own limited ways, but it is Jerry that he most afflicts, and, interestingly, it is with Jerry that his pacts and plans most often force him to work beside.

Kramer is easy enough for Newman's purposes, a dumb brute who merely need be pointed in the direction of a good waaaaugh, just as the Inquisition can, has, and WILL use Blood Axes and other Ork mercenaries for their own purposes, but fate, duty, and destiny tie him to Jerry.

How many times has it been that Newman has forced Jerry's cooperation, and how many times has it been Newman who restored and maintained the status quo? How often have the characters, despite loathing Newman, found themselves in need of services only he could, or would, provide?

>>13908369

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE

>>13908115
The Malazan Book About Nothing

>>13908369

If Newman is the Inquisition, why does he spend so little time interacting with George, the Chaos Space Marines?

Then who is the good of Mankind? The representative of the Emperor?

>>13908505

Because when Chaos Space Marines are on stage it's generally time for the Red Army to get directly involved, not the subtler ways of the glorious People's Department of the Interior.

>>13908115
>Nothing defines them quite like their cruelty in sex.

Proposal fails here; Dark Eldar do not have an especially heavy focus on sex or sexual sadism. There are a few hints within the Codex, specifically Duke Sliscus, but that's all. It can be assumed it's part of their repetior when it comes to breaking and torturing people psychologically, but there's nothing to suggest that it's any more favoured than any other method. Furthermore, not everything to do with them is sexualised; one only has to look at the Haemonculi and their servants, were sex and gender are completely absent. Grotesques are lobotomized monsters with no thoughts other than for violence, and Wracks are completely subservient to the tasks of their masters. The only elements of the Dark Eldar with an obsessive focus on beauty and sexuality are the Wych cults.

>>13908522
>the good of Mankind?

Who is the representative of the Necrons then?
Of course the soup nazi would be the Tyranids. (NO BIOMASS FOR YOU)

>>13908522
>Then who is the good of mankind?
That was covered earlier.
"the citizen who thinks a local chaos cult's danger is just "blown of proportion, they're really good enough people." The one who might even try to befriend the enemies of Man, not because he hates the Imperium, but because he honestly thinks the danger is overstated."
Generosity. Charity. Goodwill. Faith in good and brotherhood. Basic justice and common decency.
>The representative of the Emperor?
Newman.

>>13908579
So the good of mankind are actually heretics?

>>13908588
Yes, which is why they have always had the monopolies on hope, love, tolerance, and rock and roll.

Thank god we have Gregor Eisenhorn to root the Jerrys' out, and put them down.

>>13908579
>>13908577
Somehow I see Newman as the Necrons. Everyone hates them.

>>13908621

I'm not sure that Elrond of Rivendell can find ALL the soft spots in an underbelly as vast as the Imperium's.

>>13908668

Necrons don't ally with anyone but Blood Angels.
Everyone hates the Inquisition too, they just work with them sometimes.

>>13908674

Oh yes he can.

>>13908549

The Dark Eldar field scantily clad women dressed "This doesn't even have words in real life to describe it" as standard units with crazy bondage whips.