bump

He doesn't brush and has horrible yellow teeth.

>>13666692

Does he have greasy hair?

>>13666709
>>13666692
inb4 Luke.

>our THAT GUY hunches over. He doesn't walk upright or even sit upright. When he's at the table, his chin is only a few inches from its surface. Before you say, "Maybe he has a medical condition," he doesn't. He's just too lazy.

Do you really care about this? Why don't you just let people hunch like they want?

The That Guy in my previous group would separate his table from the rest of us, so he would sit about two meters away from the rest of us in the room.

>>13666723
>The That Guy in my previous group would separate his table from the rest of us, so he would sit about two meters away from the rest of us in the room.

. . . What? Why?
Are you lepers or something?

My fucking brother man. Every fuckin' time we try to get him into our group for a game of Puerto Rico or Civ, he always go "uuuuuh I dunnoooooo... I gueeeeeeesssss" Then when he isn't winning its like, he thinks the guy in 1st place is like the fucking biggest dick in the world and takes it so personally. I was playing the egyptians in the Civ board game, and I had like 4 wonders and a bunch of techs. Suddenly his asshole is making such passive agressive motions at me "Hey mark (not me), can you pass me a culture token?" I try to do it for him to be a cool guy, suddenly, "I ASKED MARK TO DO IT". So naturally I raised and army to camp outside his capital while I used cards from my culture track movements to blow up anything he tried to make.

>>13666723

Sloucher detected.

Plays WoW on her laptop when it's not her turn in combat.

There's so much other stuff I could list, but I won't. I'm just glad I'm running the games now instead of her boyfriend.

>>13666757
... i am sloucher actually.

I am also, and i'm not even kidding, an actual mouth-breather.

Thankfully, my days of thatguying is over. Now i'm just a creepy, yet proficient, GM

I think one of my players might be That Guy.
He sat playing some open source Tycoon game when we tried D&D and stormed out after I had trouble with the rules when we tried Shadowrun.

Oddly enough he's okay with playing nWoD. When he bothers to turn up.

>When he's at the table, his chin is only a few inches from its surface.

Small fry. When thinking about tactics or a puzzle, I rest my chin on the table and mumble to myself.

>You see a man running towards you, you immediately recognize him as the man you lost track of earlier in the goblincity, he has your lich ruby in hand and is looking back worriedly. Suddenly an arrow strikes him in the back and he tumbles forward and dies lying face down.
>"YES, TAKE THAT MEN! Tell me the archer was a woman!"
>"....What."

I don't know if it's passive aggressiveness or whatever, but if anyone tries to raise something against him, he kind of drops it if you're persistent enough. Then after for however long, he brings up snide comments in passing, acting like you're not even in the room.

Frankly I don't give a shit and a half because that's me, but when it carries into the game and he tries to kill you for something that occurred outside of the game, then it's a bit annoying.

>>13666819

No, THAT GUY does that all the time. He doesn't do it while he's thinking, because he doesn't really think. He feels, emotes, then tries to dominate the conversation with his feelings. The whole slouching thing is just annoying, because he looks like a petulant child while he's doing it.

Plus, he breathes really loudly, and when you're eating with him odds are he's breathing over your food.

I'm in a polarized group where theres more THAT guys than there are decent players.

One guy always wants to play at Denny's and complains hes hungry/thirsty regardless of food available unless we're at Denny's where the group isn't very comfortable playing.

Then we go to Denny's one player is uncomfortable enough to request a separate table where he then plays his PSP at a good distance.

Then our only female is a feminist type and she refuses to do anything womanly, like bathe, and is only interested in the game when the spotlight is on her, otherwise she doesn't pay attention and texts constantly.

Our DM is soft spoken and then likes to interupt his own campaign with silly shit our characters do. "Suddenly everyone is disco dancing!"

>>13666875
You just have a personal tiff with THAT GUY so you bring up irrelevant ad homenim to make him look worse.

>>13666900
>Suddenly everyone is disco dancing!

mfw

>>13666900
>a polarized group where theres more THAT guys than there are decent players
Why haven't you left yet, again?

/tg/ newfag, who exactly is THAT GUY?

I understand he's annoying, but how exactly does he qualify for "blight upon my table"? What should I be looking for in my Players?

tl;dr typical THAT GUY behavior.

>>13666962
Have you ever had a guy so unpleasant in your group that you could refer to him by a single irritating trait and have your group recognise who you're talking about?

You know, him. THAT guy.

>>13666962
It just that one guy everyone dislikes but is still there.
What exactly they do to earn the title differs from case to case.
Here, read the Luke, plagueson of nurgle threads for one of the most extreme examples ever.
[spoiler]ready a bath[/spoiler][lolspoilerson/tg/]
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=luke

>>13666991
Alright, I gotcha. I have one, too. He texts all the time, which wouldn't bother me so much if he'd have the courtesy to put it on Silent.

I want to know what makes these people such socially inept fucktards. I mean, I'm a huge nerd, but at least I practice common courtesy and social protocol. My first gaming group back in high school was pretty much just normal gamer-types who just wanted to hack some monsters up. Then later I branch out to other groups and it just goes downhill and I get more and more frustrated by the people I meet due to their complete disregard for courtesy and being socially retarded.

Shit like blurting out random shit when you're trying to hold a normal conversation, refusing to bathe or wear decent clothing, pathologically lying, ect ect...

She takes any slight against her character as you hating her personally. My slightly bigoted dwarf didn't like the idea of working with an all-human mercenary group, and said the idea was idiotic, She took it as me calling her stupid. When she was going through a "my parents are dead" spheal, my same character got annoyed because he had just two games ago seen his son die on the battlefield. So he snapped at her. Again, this means I hate her.

>>13666962
If you don't know who that guy is, then you are that guy.

>>13667044
>She took it as me calling her stupid.

>>13667037
Could be anything from lack of upbringing (in perticularly single children seem to have this) to actual mental disabilities.

>>13667044

>she wants to fuck

>>13667103

Go back to /r9- oh, wait...

Bump.

BBBUUUMMMPPP

The first That Guy in my old D&D group was a pain in the ass. He would bring his preggo girlfriend, and make out with her when it wasn't his turn. I brought my girlfriend with me, but she would actually play, and we didn't force the rest of the table to watch us make out. Only at break time, outside.

He would also make crude anti-Christian and anti-Semetic jokes, knowing that half of our group was Christian and the DM was Jewish. We asked him to stop, but all he did was make his jokes more subtle and passive aggressive. He would also sneak up behind me and hump me, saying, "Rape!" In a high pitched noise.

The second That Guy wasn't as bad as the first. But if anything didn't go his way, he would sulk around and yell at people if they tried to calm him down or make him feel better. It was always the first That Guy that made him get like this. He would also quote movies and games so much, that it got so damn annoying. Not just Monty Python or Lord of the Rings. He would quote PeeWee's playhouse, Family Guy, Star Wars, Naruto, Legend of Zelda, Avatar, Avatar the last Airbender, and a shit ton more.

The third That Guy was not as bad as either of them, unless he was in one of his "moments." He claimed that he was an Aspie, but we knew better. He said that his aspergers made him much smarter than anyone in the whole school, but it also made him lazy as hell, which he used as an excuse as to why he had shitty grades in school. He also had a huge crush on ALL of the girl players in our group. He would ogle them all the time, including my girlfriend, which pissed me off.

When That Guy numbers 2 and 3 weren't being asses, they were fun to play with and good friends. Number 1 was never fun to play with.

>>13666996

... My god...

I mean, I'm no clean freak - my room is in bad need of a vacuum cleaner - but I shave, shower, brush my teeth and wash my clothes whenever I can. I'm already ugly and overweight, so I don't want to offend more than two senses at the same time. It's difficult to imagine someone who can possibly maintain any kind of social connection with others, if they're that fucking disgusting.

Damn.

>>13667397
>He claimed that he was an Aspie, but we knew better. He said that his aspergers made him much smarter than anyone in the whole school, but it also made him lazy as hell, which he used as an excuse as to why he had shitty grades in school.

I don't know exactly how to describe how unpleasant that is for me to read. Communication is an important part of assigning a person any task, and an environment that assaults the student psychologically without reprieve can have a negative impact on grades. However, laziness is at best a bad hypothesis for the cause of this impact, and can even be an attempt at avoiding responsibility.

>>13667397

> He claimed that he was an Aspie, but we knew better. He said that his aspergers made him much smarter than anyone in the whole school, but it also made him lazy as hell, which he used as an excuse as to why he had shitty grades in school.

ALL OF MY HATE

>>13667589
>>13667525

Aspies are about having good grades DESPITE being lazy. All my hate.

>>13667589
That's not very much hate.

A guy I used to play with believed he visited the plane of dragons when he slept, and that his deceased first pet cat had reincarnated as his dog, and he could see his cat's soul in the dog's eyes. He also always laughed at every joke and said every sentence at maximum volume, made the shittest jokes and kept trying to get as close to the girlfriend of one of our players as possible all the time.

The final straw was when his friends made him have a massive clearout and cleanup of his house, and our DM and his wife looked after that guy's new kitten in the meantime. It went from malnourished and mangey to healthy and not freaking out from human contact over the three weeks they had it. Then he came over to take it back to his home and it was dead within ten days. We never invited him again, and I believe he's banned from owning animals now.

I'm not even going to mention what he was like in game, save that we also had a player who invented arrows that caused those hit by them to shit themselves to death, and he was far better. First groups, eh?

>>13667688
>player who invented arrows that caused those hit by them to shit themselves to death
awesome

>He said that his aspergers made him much smarter than anyone in the whole school, but it also made him lazy as hell, which he used as an excuse as to why he had shitty grades in school.

That's me, except for the shitty grades, and the whole "telling people" thing. I've got mediocre grades, and I don't tell people about it. And there are a few people(3 that I know personally, possibly more that I don't know in my 4k student school) that are just as smart, if not smarter than me.

>>13667708
NEWFAG DETECTED!

>>13666996
Good lord, this made me gag.

Sadly, I've lived with a guy who could give Luke a run for his money. Perhaps not quite so unhygenic, but a raging alcoholic to make up for it.
Pic related, it's his cat Smokey Joe. Very sweet, very old, didn't deserve such a shitbag of an owner. Tim never bought cat food, luckily I have a cat of my own and just fed them both. According to the other roommate, before I moved in Smokey Joe lived off of Kraft cheese. At one point, Smokey Joe developed an ear infection. Tim couldn't afford a vet despite having endless money for malt liquor, cigarettes, Magic cards, and weed. Smokey Joe's infection grew into a seeping hole in the side of his head. I took his cat to my vet, he got pissed off about his privacy being invaded or something and knocked over my bookcase.

I could tell more stories. Interested, /tg/?

>>13665323
>THAT GUY hunches over. He doesn't walk upright or even sit upright. When he's at the table, his chin is only a few inches from its surface. Before you say, "Maybe he has a medical condition,"
No, I was going to ask how his sitting posture affects you.

>>13667860
Sure.

>>13667876

Sure is sloucher in here.

>>13667525
>>13667397
I'm not an aspie bout sounds like me.

I absolutely refused to do school work at home. So I made hundreds on test and zeroes on homework, or whatever I managed to rig up in ten minutes before class started, either by speeding my ass off through the book or copying another paper.

>>13667948

No, it's more like if I state that I dislike Hannah Montana music, and then you passionately demand to know how Miley Cyrus is hurting me by playing her music, then I can logically conclude that you feel some emotional connection to Hannah Montana, most probably because you listen to that music.

>>13667860
Okay.
The apartment was a 4 bedroom flat, in a neighborhood that's midway between the university and the ghetto. I was a student looking for a cheap room, the other roommate was a bit of a hipster but cool. She and Tim had lived there for six months already.
The first month I lived there was uneventful. Hipster Roommate and I were both in school and working, so we weren't home much. Tim was always in his room, and his door was always closed. There was also a faint odor of cat, nearly hidden by the incredibly strong odor of cigarettes.

TBC

>>13668067

>>13668067
After I'd lived there for about two months, I started to notice things. First, Tim gradually stopped buying food and began swiping food from my roommate and myself. Then came the beer cans, mountains of beer cans. The cat smell became stronger, overpowering the smell of cigarettes.

Three months in, we got a letter from the landlord. Were paying him individually and he hadn't gotten as much as a dollar from Tim. We had a week to pay his back rent or face eviction.
It was hard, but we managed to scrape it together. Tim had gone off somewhere, presumably skipped town when he'd heard about the back rent. When he came back, Hipster Roommate yelled at him. He said he didn't have money, but his brother would pay her.

What he didn't mention was that he meant, his brother would be moving in. Tim continued to not pay rent, his brother payed 1/3 of our rent for both of them. The smell began to take on a tinge of sour beer, and the filth began to invade the living room. Bowls of food left out for days, ashtrays overflowing onto furniture, and of course malt liquor cans everywhere.

Tim and his brother were just alike. The brother slept on the couch, drank constantly, spent ungodly amounts of money on weed, and never showered. Tim, to his credit, did bathe. I know because he used my shampoo, my razors, my towels, etc. Neither one of them owned a toothbrush as far as I know.

Tim liked to borrow my books, and when he returned them, the pages would be stuck together with god only knows what kind of substances. He'd also take dishes into his room, collect them there until there were no more dishes in the house, then drop every single moldy dish into the sink for someone else to wash.

At some point, Tim came by some cash of his own. He owed Hipster Roommate about $2,000 and me $750. Instead of paying us back, he bought a TV, a drum machine and two laptops, all of which he'd have blaring noise until 4am.

>>13668366

I've always found cases like this interesting:

What prevented you from
1) Kicking him out
2) Telling him to pay up
3) Telling him to stop swiping your shit
4) Telling him to stop being a slob

Was he intimidating?
Did the ordors and such not bother you?
Are you so beta you can be walked all over?

>>13668366

I'm ashamed to say that I gave up on cleaning up after him. I was never home except to sleep, and I got sick of coming home and cleaning up after slobs. So I just stayed in my room. I think Hipster Roommate had the same idea. One day Tim or his brother spilled a can of Olde English 800 on the living room floor. It sat there for weeks, drying into a fetid sticky spot and collecting cigarette ashes.

After a while, Tim's brother moved on. At least Tim's rent was paid during that time. Hipster Roommate and I cleaned up the living room; we had to throw out the couch he'd slept on because it stank of body odor and was covered in cigarette burns.

So with the brother gone, Tim went back to not paying rent. We got another letter from the landlord, and Hipster Roommate and I finally decided to kick Tim out.

Tim's parents came and picked up some of his stuff- a dresser, the TV and computers, the cat. Tim begged and cried for them to take him in; but they refused. So Tim said he was going to check himself into the county mental hospital. The parents left. After a while, Tim left. He took nothing with him, and that was the last I saw of him.

Next: The horrors of Tim's room.

>>13668512

>Next: The horrors of Tim's room.

DUN DUN DUN!

>>13668562

Forgot the picture...

>"Hey, can I take a quick look at your PHB? I need to look something up."

Later, it turns out he didn't actually need to look anything up. Just browsing, he was. Browsing with snacks.

>>13668676

>>13668511
At the time, I was a full time student with a full time job. I left the house at 7 am for class and got home from work at around midnight. There were weeks at a time when I never saw either roommate. Also by never being at home, I wasn't really affected by the mess until the brother took over the living room, by which point I was so busy I just didn't have time to care.

As for the money, that was mainly Hipster Roommate's problem. The only time I covered him was when we were in danger of being evicted. Hipster didn't want to kick him out when his brother was living with us, because she had some vain hope of getting paid back.

I did yell at him for swiping food and befouling my books, and he stopped that.

Anyway, Tim's room.

>>13668723
that shit doesn't work and you know it

>>13668807
>Implying I eat cheetos

I just like that comic

>>13668807
I want to see a video of you failing to pick up a cheeto with two sticks.

>>13668823
>>13668848
I have become what I hate most. I just hate seeing that comic all the time. Let us now please return to the story, already in progress.

Had a TFG at my wargames club. Myself and the others in the same newguy influx called him
Scary Bloke. We later learned that the existing regulars called him Scary Richard. (for that was his name)

As you can see, he left a strong impression on people.

Amongst his other bizarre traits, he insisted on having crudely painted skulls on all his personal belongings, had a permanent wild-eyed expression, suffered from traditional TFG hygiene issues, made sound effects at the table and tended to throw dead models, was obsessed with mind-war, liked to crack 'jokes' about exotic ways of killing people that had beaten him while they were in the room, etc.

Sad thing is, for all that he was weird as fuck he wasn't actually a bad person. Knew the rules but didn't rules lawyer, was a good sportsman and had a painted army for every 40K faction

>>13668723
Exactly what I was thinking

>says "lol" at the end of every sentence
>pronounced /lɑl/

I want to throttle him sometimes.

>>13668933
such people exist?

>>13668942

Yes.

I'd only ever met any of them on online video games, but this guy joined our group last month, making him the first guy I've met in person that does it.

>>13668891
In hindsight, scary richard wasn't TFG at all - he was just wierd.

TFG was a dude called Dave. Later to become Fuckwit Dave. Fuckwit Dave would constantly have an illegal armylist ("who doesn't have an illegal armylist?"), would constantly cheat, would "mis-remember" rules in the most convenient way possible, would have a tantrum when this was pointed out, would invariably deploy terrain in the most biased way imaginable whenever he could get away with it.

Thing is, he would do it in front of people that were waiting to correct him so we could never figure out for sure if he was just stupid and hated being corrected or if he was a compulsive cheat.

Submitted three illegal army lists in turn for a tournament, each of increasingly subtle illegality. Had a massive tantrum after the list was returned to him to be corrected for the third time.

>>13668953
>>13668933
I've met a couple. Makes me want to slap them unconscious.

>>13668512
I took a day off work to clean the room because I knew I'd need it. Hipster roommate picked up dust masks and rubber gloves. We put on our protective gear and tried to open the door. It opened about a foot and stuck. Luckily, both of us were skinny enough to squeeze through. Immediately, we were hit by a literally eye watering stench. If you marinated a dirty ashtray in malt liquor vomit and garbage water, then strained it through a dirty gym sock into a jockstrap, it would smell exactly like that room. I failed my fort save and doubled over gagging; she had the presence of mind to fling open the windows.

We let it air out while we fortified ourselves with whiskey. After about an hour, we were able to try again.

Garbage was mounded up to about knee height at the walls, with a trail from the bed to the computer to the door. Mostly it was old food wrappers, some with the food still inside. We cleaned out three trash bags of that alone. Apparently, Tim didn't know what an ashtray was as every bit of furniture was covered in cigarette butts and burns where he'd stubbed out cigarettes. The floor was indescribably sticky.

After we threw out the wrappers and trash, there were six large trash bags of dirty clothes. And not just average, behind on laundry dirty clothes. There were piles that were covered in flies and maggots. Many piles were stuck together from spilled food or other filth. Like everything else, there were cigarette butts and ashes mixed into the piles.

Behind the headboard. Oh god. Apparently he'd stuffed every fap tissue back there and forgotten it. The smell was beyond anything I've experienced before or since. We had to take another whiskey break.

Next: What lay beyond the filth.

>>13668942
I used to game with 2 cousins who were obsessed with 4chan in the worst way possible.

"LOL have you heard about the newest MEEM? Have you heard of TROLLFACE? DO YOU THINK IT'S GOOD?"

I kept insisting the only good thing they could do was to shut the fuck up.

It was brutal because we talked in our native non-eng language and they kept pronouncing things in this weird mix of both languages.

I don't keep up with them anymore but I think they grew out of it.

>>13668982

My brother was the same way.

Whenever he did anything that pissed me off, he'd always screech "You mad? You mad?"

He never really had anything to say when I said "yes".

>>13668989
HOLY FUCK, ARE YOU ME?

My brother had this phase when he forgot all words except "you" and "jelly".

My group doesn't have any disruptive players. We all GM different games for each other, there's a strict no-texting rule at the table, and we pitch our campaigns with content warnings. The worst we get is the one guy who gets a little excited and shouts everything.

picture unrelated

>>13668970

>>13668970
wow.
sounds like you're lucky the house didn't burn down, what with having a living fire hazard inhabiting it.

>>13669026
Whatchu talkin' 'bout?
All the gases released by that bio-hazard is an EXPLOSION hazard, not a FIRE hazard. Silly anon

>>13668998
>>13668989
I just realized that's like half of /tg/'s population.

It made me sad.

>>13669044

no no no no no no no no

keep pushing back the realization and delude yourself into thinking the percentage is much lower

>>13669044
My brother goes on /a/ all the time. He plays sport regularly and works at a fast food restaurant where pretty much all the girls he works with fancy the pants off him, and he prefers to stay in and either browse /a/ or play JRPGs and Gears 2. It's really depressing.

Bumping for the rest of the story.

>>13669143
this

i desire a conclusion

>>13669099

>Gears 2

I can see why.

>DM for group
>Tell them I'm running a low magic campaign
>They all roll up transgendered characters
>Plot derailed by characters trying to marry each other and thats all they want to roleplay
>went better than I expected

>>13668970
waiting...

>>13669226
Jesus Christ, I'd find a new group.

>>13668970

>>13668970
I'm just going to type the bizzare stuff we found in list form.
-'80s stereos, '90s laptops, portable CD players, a printer, a VCR, a broken TV and other electronic bits. All wired together into something completely incomprehensible.
-4 drivers licenses, a bunch of checkbooks, and a few credit cards. All in different names, none belonging to him.
-Bullets, but no guns.
-Knives and swords, about 40 in all. Some fairly impressive hunting knives, mostly decorative otaku shit.
-A photo album that was all photos of the same girl. Some real photos, most stuff printed out from facebook or myspace.
-Craptons of weed, which we figured was too toxic to smoke.
-VHS tapes labelled "Lesbian movies" which weren't porn, but weepy chick flicks about lesbians coming to terms with things.
-Prescription bottles with a wide variety of names on them. Nothing that a drug addict would want, mostly antibiotics.
-Five pairs of very expensive binoculars
-Remember in 1997 when they had the 20th anniversery Star Wars pepsi cans? He had a bunch of these, complete with ten year old Pepsi.
-A notebook full of electronic diagrams that made no sense, with notes about stuff like real lightsabers and robot brains.
-empty women's purses.
-Musical instruments. A clarinet, a trombone, the drum machine I mentioned before, two trumpets. Nothing in playable condition but the drum machine.
-A box that was like a gift box for a necklace, with a braid of human hair in it. Not like creepy murder victim hair though, more like a creepy keepsake of a kid's first haircut.

>>13669267
>Remember in 1997 when they had the 20th anniversery Star Wars pepsi cans? He had a bunch of these, complete with ten year old Pepsi.

oh god I don't know why I find that so funny. I'm crying

>>13669267

>read Luke: Plagueson of Nurgle
>I'm actually stuck at home sick right now coughing up phlegm
>reading is "enhanced" in this way
>mfw

>>13669267
That is just fucking creepy...

My DM has often misconceptions about the world and history, when I point them out he then seems to mould his point of view to mine and exclusively ask me about stuff. This makes me supremely uncomfortable. Feel like telling him to grow a spine.

>>13669267

That just... that's not even merely gross, that's stuff that makes me wonder. Crazy machinations, robot brains, SCIENCE? Stalker equipment, purses, the lock of hair...

Thank you kind poster. You have stirred up some feeling in me. You have a good day now, and possibly post more of how this ended.

>>13669267

Hahaaha what the fuck?

>>13669267

>Remember in 1997 when they had the 20th anniversery Star Wars pepsi cans? He had a bunch of these, complete with ten year old Pepsi.

This doesn't creep me out or gross me out so much as make me wonder what ten-year-old Pepsi tastes like. Does it go bad in the can?

Is SCIENCE in order here? Should I get a can of Pepsi, mark it somehow, and wait ten years to open and drink it?

>>13669267
You defeated an otyugh and got a decent treasure hoard.

What? You don't like that an otyugh's treasure is infectious?

MAN UP, THIS IS 2E BITCH!

>>13669267

No words, no macros, not even a final destination.

>>13669267

>-'80s stereos, '90s laptops, portable CD players, a printer, a VCR, a broken TV and other electronic bits. All wired together into something completely incomprehensible.
>-A photo album that was all photos of the same girl. Some real photos, most stuff printed out from facebook or myspace.
>-VHS tapes labelled "Lesbian movies" which weren't porn, but weepy chick flicks about lesbians coming to terms with things.
>-Five pairs of very expensive binoculars
>-A notebook full of electronic diagrams that made no sense, with notes about stuff like real lightsabers and robot brains.
>-A box that was like a gift box for a necklace, with a braid of human hair in it. Not like creepy murder victim hair though, more like a creepy keepsake of a kid's first haircut.

Dude he was building a fucking cyborg, a lesbian cyborg.

>>13669332
With all the shit they put in it, I'd imagine it's just like very flat pepsi. I've drunk some stuff before that was like a year out of date and it was fine (though I only found out afterwards)

Using a trip code to post overdone thead topics is the epitome of being That Guy

>>13669332
If alive afterwards, post results.
Then again, pepsi (or any form of cola) is mostly chemicals anyway, so really, how much more toxic can it become?

>>13669267
Oh, and I forgot to mention this before.
The reason his room smelled like cat is that before I moved in with my fancy pet care notions like cat food and a litter box, he just let his cat piss and crap where it wanted, which apparently was mostly in a pile of clothes in the closet.

As soon as I moved in, Smokey Joe moved into my room and stayed there. I guess he was just relived to be able to use a cat box and sleep on a bed instead of a pile of trash. I think the little bit of proper food and cleanliness is all that was keeping that poor old cat alive.

>>13669340
hahahaha

>>13669346
Missingno covers this, missingno covers everything

>>13669362
Fund it.

>>13669362

>>13669367
That poor cat. I feel bad for him.

>>13669267
What the hell was he building?

>>13669267

Massimo does not approve.

>>13668970
How people can live like that is beyond me.

>>13669362
You forgot the knives and swords. Damn, that'll be one dangerous lesbian cyborg.

>>13669362
>a lesbian cyborg.
A lesbian cyborg with a lightsaber.

Tim sufferer, what happened to the house afterwards? I assume you didn't try to rent out the room again.

>>13669362

>>13669367

Hey, at least he moved out before he killed you and the hipster to use your flesh and organs for his lesbian cyborg.

I'm going to confess, I'm something of a slob. I'm 6'1", weigh 183 lbs, and have books and stuff stacked everywhere in my room. It's hard to walk through, though I manage to keep an aisle clear for well-traveled routes.

But I always make sure that any food matter, any human biological products, anything that could possibly go bad does not stay there for 24 hours.

If possible, I get rid of the matter as soon as I'm done with it.

My room is messy the same way a library after an earthquake is messy, but I cannot fathom how one could possibly endure living in the conditions described in this thread.

My condolences to anyone who has dealt with any of this.

>>13669508
There's a difference between dirt and clutter. What you're describing sounds like clutter, and that's completely okay. Hell, uncluttered rooms just look cold, sterile and lifeless IMO.

I'll be honest, I used to eat at my pc all the time and my floor under it used to be encrusted with food but damn, I don't think I've even been at that extreme of dirtiness

>>13669479

In a BAD END alternate universe;

the guy kills off both hipster and poster, tears off their flesh in the bathroom, slaps it crudely onto a metal skeleton made of laptops and stereos, held together by unspeakable fluids, but OH HORROR, THE THING DOESN'T WANT TO BE ALIVE, "WHAT HAVE YOU MADE ME AS?!?", IT SHRIEKS, and slices off that guy's arm off, keeps chopping away until only gore remains, then draws a vertical line across it's body and ends it's short, horrible existence.

Weeks later, police find several chopped up bodies, one with serious burns and the remains of what was once a home entertainment system. Also anniversary edition cola cans.

This is where the UA campaign begins.

>>13669455
I feel bad about it, but we actually did rent it out. There were four months left on the lease and we couldn't afford the place with just two people. We scrubbed the floor and walls, replaced the bed, sprayed about 5 cans of febreze and air deodorizer into the place, and kept the windows open. We ended up subletting it to an older lady who was an elementary school teacher. The showing went something like...
>Lady: It kind of smells in here...
>Me: Our last roommate was a smoker.
>Hipster roommate: We'll have it aired out before you move in.
>Lady: Oh. Well, I can live with that, I guess.
And then we felt like really terrible people for a while.

Luckily there was no carpet to deal with de-stinking, and amazingly enough, no bugs except for flies.

>>13669508
>complaining about being 183lbs

Hi. I'm 6'2 and weight 300-320lbs. For some reason I'm still human shaped (although I'm rounded a bit in the middle), but still.

I would KILL to be 183 lbs.

>>13669549

Or a DtF campaign if you really hate your WoD players.

>>13669528

Well, I also haven't vacuumed in far too long, so it's like a library that endured an earthquake and then was sealed off from the outside world for 10 years. VERY dusty. Still, the only organic matter that spends any meaningful amount of time here is paper (and myself, obviously).

It is EXCESSIVELY cluttered, but otherwise it's pretty good.

I really should do something about all this clutter. Been chipping away at it occasionally, but it's too much to do all in one day.

I'll have to do it by summer, though.

>>13669549
Could the old pepsi inside the cans be used as blood for this abomination?

>>13669332

No idea if Pepsi will go bad, but the soda slowly eats at the aluminum can. If in 10 years it hasn't eaten through enough to make a hole then you still don't wanna drink it cause it'll be full of aluminum, which along with probably not tasting so hot could have some bad side-effects

>>13669549
Very yes.

>>13669549

>implying the abomination wasn't complete and didn't escape into the wild

>>13669594

Or fuel...

This thread should be archived

The people who will come after us need to know lest they make the same mistakes.

I'm that guy only insofar as that, I suppress my powerlevel masterfully, while deriding people who don't.

Like, I'm the biggest animu moe fag ever, with wall to ceiling of my room lined with posters of little girls, shelves full of statues and figures, racks of CD's OSTs and games (mostly H-games), and all other manner of terrible things in between. Also full body hugpillows.

As well, I'm pretty big on the video games and /tg/ related stuff with a 40k army and card collections and shit.


However, outside of my room, I'm the most normal and likely uninteresting person you'd ever meet, and never have anything to do with anything nerdy. I'm actually pretty popular socially speaking.

So when I see someone talking about nerd related stuff, I do the most that I possibly can to make fun of them, and make them feel like shit. It makes everyone laugh, and I get everyone else in on it too, so it's like a crowd of us picking on the nerds.

I may be a horrible person but the way I see it, if someone as pathetic as me can hide that whole aspect of their life, then so can other people.

>>13669561

Well, I was 175 last week, and I fluctuate between 185 and 175 depending on my diet in the past couple weeks, what I'm wearing when I weigh myself, etc.

Used to be just over 200, slimmed down to 175 in 2008, been hovering within 5 lbs of 180 ever since.

Here's my secret: I have no driver's license and I'm too proud to ask people for rides. I want to get somewhere, I'm walking. If I need to be there in a hurry, I bike. If it's too far to walk or bike, I snag a bus.

I'm able to eat fast food something like 2-4 times a week and stay within 5 lbs of 180 just because I have to walk all the way over there to do it.

Also helps that most places worth going (whether for food or anything else) are roughly a mile away.

>>13669637
Some people don't see the need to hide like you do. You're just a coward.

>>13669549
I like it.

>>13669654

Or I'm just hardcore awesome.

Loadsa friends and popularity, and could be rolling in the bitches, if I weren't more attracted to mai waifu.

Really, it's not hard.

>>13669628
Taken care of, for posterities sake.

Least we forget.

>>13669654
damn right he is

>>13669675
>>13669637

Hahaha, assburger much? You're pretty much the definition of human scum.

>>13669595

Too bad we make cans out of aluminum and not silver.

Because if the cans were silver, you could drink the 10 year old pepsi and become a smurf.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13665323/
done

>>13669603
Even now, it seeks to form a tearful-yet-ultimately-happy relationship with some unsuspecting woman...

>Friend since middle school is interested in playing another campaign with me
>My first campaign went on for two years and was only started so I could save everyone from our then THAT GUY DM
>Although I was new to DMing I did fairly well, I still look back at some stuff I planned/did/threw at the party and cringe, but everyone had a fun time.
>Friend shows up for character creation high.
>Friend shows up late for the first session high, distracts from the game.
>Friend shows up at the second session high, once again distracts from the game.
>Friend shows up drunk and vomits inside my house. We all decide to just go out for dinner once he's feeling better.
>Friend no shows the rest of the games.
>I call up and ask him if he's coming for the first few times.
>He always responds with "I had something planned."
>Friend calls me to "Hang out" randomly one day.
>He really just needs someone with a drivers license so he can pick up his weed.
>Tell him no.
>He flips the fuck out.
>Leave.
>He no shows every session, I don't call him to ask why.
>He calls me asking what happened with the game.
>I told him it's every other Saturday.
>"Oh, ok."
>He no shows.
>He calls me asking if the game is still going.
>"Yes, it has been going for a few months now. I told you it's every other Saturday."
>"You've been playing without me!?"
>"Yes."
>"WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?"
>He hangs up and shows up at my house later to yell at me.
>I tell him to fuck off and close the door on him.
>We haven't talked since.

Iain'tevenmad.jpg

>>13669637

Other people are no hypocrites or cowards like you.

>>13669675
Yeah yeah, Broseph, you're alpha as fuck, etc.,etc. Yawn.

>>13669637
>>13669675

Sadly, you are also a horrible human being. Good luck living with that knowledge.

>>13669707

That woman... COULD BE YOU!

>>13669695

Hey, at least I'm a productive member of society.

Not saying that nerds aren't, just that you can't deny that there are nerds who brood over relationships and jobs and their lives.

I used to be like that in high school, but got thrown out by my parents. Now I've got a job and a life, and support my own disgusting addictions.

All I'm saying is that, there's nothing wrong with having nerd interests or being a nerd. Just don't mix them with your normal life, and expect to not draw scorn or negative attention.

There's a time and a place for everything, just recognize it.

>>13669707

>>13669764
Nice of you to let out the part where you initiate the ridicule of other people to protect the fragile shell separating the real you from the world

>>13669764

Obviously, but that's not the point.

>>13669769

>>13669794

Well what is?

>>13669784

Someone has to let them know the breaks.

And it's not like we drive them off and they go commit suicide. I get in touch with them after to lend a hand. Some don't accept, but some do.

Breaking the mold, one overtly outward weeaboo/nerd at a time.

>>13669709

Beware those who fall prey to substance abuse. They may seem to be chill bros, but you cannot depend on them for anything. I had an IRC DM who admitted to coming up with game ideas while high (and actually RUNNING THE GAME while high). That proved fantastically awful.

The other one was honestly heartbreaking, because this dude had been my friend since elementary school, and we were running Star Wars Saga Edition. I never kicked him out or anything, mainly because the game fell apart before I could, but he was constantly spacing out or texting or being texted at the table, didn't seem to know the rules or care enough to learn them, only showed up half the time at best, and just in general was barely aware of what was going on. Substances he used at the time: tobacco, marijuana, alcohol (the amounts grew more copious with each passing month), MDMA, and LSD (rarely). This was in high school, by the way.

I am certain he continues to use several of these even now, despite having run into trouble with the law over them numerous times. He's a great guy, but I don't accept rides from him and I just generally try to avoid handing him any responsibility whatsoever.

Our That Guy smells bad and eats with his mouth open.
SHLOP, SHLOP, SHLOP, SHLOP, SHLOP.
This on top of the usual That Guy behavior: second guessing everyone, arguing with the DM, etc, etc.

That guy.
Let's just call him DJ
jesus christ

Met him back in high school, through a mutual friend.
Now I didn't think he was that bad of an idividual at first. Freakishly tall, and fat boot, his voice sounds like a megaphone, and he constantly smells like urine and sweat. Sleeps through most of his classes. Plays MtG and WoW. Talks incessently about anime, in a kind of creepy way.

Made the mistake of going to his house once. Mind you, he lives in an appartment in the ghetto, where mexicans have chickens in their houses, and the roads are pretty much dirt.
And yet, despite the wild animals in other units, his house was the dirtiest one of them all.
I didn't know Mayonaise was sold by the gallon until I went to his house.
The carpet was so dirty, his cats blended into it, the only light came from computer monitors, there was cat shit in both the sink and the shower, mold in the laundry machine, the kitchen looked like a biodome, and there was a big black sweat stain on his bed from where he sat all day playing computer.
Mind you his house was so dirty, when I had to take a shit, I opted to wipe my own ass with my undershirt than touch his toilet paper.

>>13669833

>Well what is?

That you're a cowardly hypocrite that's way waaaay worse than them, you're pathetic. Just being a productive member of society doesn't make you a good person.

>>13669884
I am 90% sure he's just trolling. They're the sort of comments that are just bound to evoke a negative reaction from people, be it anger or disgust.

>>13669833
8/10, good troll, but not rage inducing, knocking 2 points off

I constantly fear I'm that guy or just a retard that should stay out of role playing to improve the hobby. I've messed up a few games mostly through timing issues and other shit but never really in game. Always feel like an awkward mess fumbling over shit not trying to piss anyone off which usually seems to piss them off so I try not to overthink and piss them off which just leaves me going in a cycle of inverting and just saying shit as it comes to my head. I don't seem to mess up anything in character but that's less of an issue.

>>13669898

I like your image dumps and you call me a troll? Pic related.

>>13669884

To the majority of society, I'm actually not worse than them at all. Some might even say I'm better.

I think it's fucked up, but it's just the way things are. You can fight it, or go along with it.

>>13669876

>Mind you his house was so dirty, when I had to take a shit, I opted to wipe my own ass with my undershirt than touch his toilet paper.

I... what?

Tell us more.

>>13669876

>>13669637
What you're basically doing is perpetuating that 80s view of ostracisation (how is that not a word, my spellcheck says it isn't yet I'm sure it is) and bullying.

You want everyone outside of their personal lives to be exactly the same, and only talk about something you personally deem acceptable. Probably something like sports. You're trying to make the socially acceptable unacceptable, by picking on people who openly express a liking for anime or videogames or something like that. Newsflash: It's okay to openly like those things.

Good god, you're like a Jock version of the Borg. I'm hating you on no less than two levels.

>>13669845
OP of the high friend story here.

Yeah, since high school about half of my friends where I'm from turned to substance abuse. I'm not exactly broken up over it, but the guy was a great friend before he started down that road. I also ended up finding out some time later that he'd show up high to my first game then brag about it to his drug buddies. If he'd throw me under the bus by asking me to transport drugs for him though, I really feel I'm better off without him...

Not to mention my game has been pretty fuckwin since I grew a spine and booted all the bad players.

>>13669925

You could simply ignore them.

>>13669925

>To the majority of society, I'm actually not worse than them at all. Some might even say I'm better.

Oooh but you are and that's the thing, they have nothing to lose because everyone knows what they are how they are, they however have a lot of gain, you on the other hand has everything to lose and nothing to gain because the moment your little facade is discovered everything will fall apart, at least sociologically speaking.

>>13669833
>Breaking the mold, one overtly outward weeaboo/nerd at a time.
That's gonna go well until you meet the one nerd that has the aggression levels to whoop your ass for trying to start shit with him/her/it in public.
But then, I guess that'd be a lesson needing to be learned in and of itself.

>>13669898
I think you're right.

>>13669925
>and you call me a troll?

For my own sanity, I'd rather believe someone is just trying to make people angry on the internet, than believe they'd be so disgustingly smug, arrogant, and self-righteous as to try and force people into changing their lives with mean-spirited bullying tactics.

>>13669954

Oh shit you're right...

Though, I never have anyone over to my room anyway, so it's not so much a risk.

>>13669949

>80's

Things are still like that today.

>in 1997
>with ten year old Pepsi.
Don't tell me we are in 2007 again. I slided into another wormhole?! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
I had meet several THAT GUYs in my days, the most dangerous one was a 2,10 meters tall mastodon called Oscar. TBC

DJ... god damn that guy.

The day after I spent and afternoon at his house, I woke up sick, and during class, I got sent to the nurse for literally vomiting/hacking up and stringy black liquid.

Let's just say I never went back to his house until he moved. But still, playing any sort of game with his is unpleasant at best.
If he rolls up a slightly bad character or draws a hand he doesn't like, he pouts, and he's inconciveably bad at everything he does.

For instance, his first experience with DnD consisted of him playing some sort of samurai fighter anime thing that proceeded to piss of the GM so badly he got bit by a piece of cheese and died.
But that didn't end his shinanigans. Oh no.

>>13669833
ahhh
A productive member of society.
Why does that matter? Why would you WANT that. Sure it can happen, but why do you WISH to be a useful little cog? Why do you take PRIDE in it? Why would you look down on someone who has better shit to do?

Also
What are you helping those guys with? Fitting in? Acting like everyone else and stuff? Because beign a normalfag is so great and awesome? You are just beign a horrible hypocrite and a coward.
You arent popular, that fake thing you carry around is.

Also, why are your habits disgusting? Because someone else told you they were?

>>13669925

I swear you sound and act like a woman.

>>13669994
Or... the story took place in 2007... I mean the time differential between 1997 and 2007 doesn't change no matter the year
Really
Do the math, then do it 10 years from now. Still 10 years between the two. Freaky but true

>>13669991
>Things are still like that today.

Not really dude. Not in my area or perhaps my county, but I'm pretty sure it's the same in general everywhere. Even in Secondary School I never got flak for it. Even from the huge kids who liked sports and MW2.

It may be like the 80s in YOUR area, but that's because you're making it like that. You're maintaining it by singling out people and turning everyone against them. And yet you don't even realise.

Jock Borg.

>>13669999
>The day after I spent and afternoon at his house, I woke up sick, and during class, I got sent to the nurse for literally vomiting/hacking up and stringy black liquid.

>>13670015

See, everyone so far has voiced reasonable opinions and rebuttals, but your thread just reeks of bias.

>>13669968

Well I do it with a crowd so there's no danger of that.

My group's That Guy is always trying to be evil. That wouldn't be a problem, except that he's the only evil character. THAT wouldn't be a problem,except for that he makes a really, horrendously shitty villain.

He never does ANYTHING right. He tries to do really cool things like use Molotov Cocktails-- But hits a party member in the face. IN THE FACE. He tries to kill and rob a Sorcerer who is not above killing anyone who fucks with him, and also happens to be 10 levels higher than them. The sorcerer, needless to say, stomps him.

This guy then always tries to make some grandiose evil plan happen, ALWAYS including at least 3 planes of existence ending. He's very, very unoriginal. This guy just ends up making a laughing stock out of himself and it slows down storyline progression by a lot.

Another That Guy is actually a lady. She constantly texts, and doesn't pay attention to anything in the game, not even her own health.

>Okay, M, you're unconcious.
What?! WHY?!
>Because that troll was hitting you. A lot. And you didn't do anything.
That's bullshit!
>...

She also doesn't feel the need to do anything during combat. She played a shaman, and as a gag I offered her the chance to roll a d20 to see if she would enter a trance from her drugs if the die landed 20.

>M, your turn!
Okay... I'm gonna smoke a joint. lol. (rolls 5)
Oh, okay. No trance. I'm done.
>... What? Not even going to attack or heal S? S is negative over there...
Oh, he can handle it.

mfw I kicked her out permanently.

>>13669999

Keep it coming bro, i want to learn more about DJ.

>>13669999

>proceeded to piss of the GM so badly he got bit by a piece of cheese and died.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT CHEESE BRO

>>13670042

Dude everyone's like that here.

So yes, I guess we live in different places.

>>13669990

You act like I'm an oddity or something.

>>13670053

>Well I do it with a crowd so there's no danger of that.

>because people never punch anyone in the middle of a crowd
>ever

Animooted picture related, it's your future.

>>13669845

I had a friend die from substance abuse last year. I understand how it feels watching someone you've known for a long time fall apart.

>>13670109

>Not a crowd
>High school
>Thrown at
>Fat kid does the punching

Even I don't have to worry about that. I love that gif though.

Read philosophy, work hard, be a nice guy, and be very intelligent.

That is what pisses me off about that guy. Because if he's intel;ligent, reasonably happy, and pretty cool, HE SHOULDN'T BE TRYING TO INFLICT TPK'S FOR THE FUCKING HELL OF IT. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE GETS ONE OF THE CHAOTIC STUPID PLAYERS - NOT PCS BUT PLAYERS - TO HELP HIM.

Seriously, if they think my game is boring, they should probably tell me so. It's not like I'm not willing to talk.

>>13669332
>>13669595
It doesn't go bad. It ferments. After about 2-3 years the contents have seperated. After 10 years, you have some crazy sugar beer going on in there. That shit will get you seriously fucked up. The added beauty of the can is that its a sealed environment, an so it remains carbonated to some extent.

Not that I have any experience of finding a drink 3-10 year old pepsi and dr. pepper cans or anything.

>>13670042

Guys, like 3 years ago, in high school, the fucking captain of the football team was my DM, and we was a pretty chill guy, and nobody cared that he played dnd. Of course, he could've pretended he didn't, and lied to his team and so on, he's not even the biggest guy on the team either, so he didn't get away with being a nerd because he could beat people up.

>>13669994
I had the disgrace of meet Oscar in my late teenage years. He was older than I but his mental age was pretty much lower than my age in that time.
Somehow, and perhaps because my teenage hood was a complete mess thanks to my parents personal war, one day decided to establish something similar to friendship with Oscar.
Back in those days I used to think everybody deserved a chance in every aspect of life, even the social ones, so I was there, trying to save that poor lonely soul...how deadly wrong I was.
Oscar lived with his parents on his late 20s, his father was an amoral man who owned an agency dedicated to buy embargoed houses and his mother was a submissive over protective woman obsessed with New Age, his sister was the incarnation of the otaku hambeast. His bedroom could be consider a cross between Chernobyl, a ComiCon dump and some scenario from the movie 7 but the case is not that...the thing is Oscar owned an arms license.
No matter where, no matter what, the motherfucker always carried a gun, a commando knife and a Pepsi bottle (a big one with a spiral drinking straw of his own invention attached to them all the time).
The main problem is when worlds collided and one day Oscar discovered I had a gaming group. TBC

>>13670154

Allen.

Fucking. Allen.

Joined a M:tG club at school. He let me borrow some of his decks so I could get started. I caught on fast since I had some experience in middle school. After a month I was beating him, so he got pissy and said "get your own cards". At this point I actually did have some cards of my own, and with some help from others in the group I was able to make a semi-decent deck. Though it wasn't as good as his, so he ended up stomping me and going "see, you're not hot shit after all" and making a general ass of himself.

Another time we were doing a 4-player free-for-all game, and he was the first out due to a shitty hand. The rest of the game he was like "Oh, there's a rule that if everybody chips in a total of 20 points you can bring somebody back!" and he kept going on and on about this rule, not realizing "hey, we just beat you, we don't want you back in!" He got pissy and we had to quit early.

One time he invited me to go see a movie with him and his friends. Go to his house, there's a broken bong on the floor, everything reeks, it's a fucking mess, and there's magic cards on the floor everywhere. I start organizing the cards in hopes that at least it would make it less of a shit-pile. I was afraid to sit down anywhere, and could barely breathe the whole time. We leave, I get a breath of fresh air, and enter the hell that is his car.

The car is worse. It's the same smell of cigarettes, weed, and fermenting... something magnified tenfold. and there's no AC. And the windows don't open. Halfway there I yell at him to pull over, get out, and hurl all over the highway, barely making it out of the car. Needless to say I never went to Allen's place or took up an offer to drive somewhere with him again.

>>13670154
>experience in finding and drinking

It may have effected me more than I thought.

>>13670053
Troll harder, lah.

>>13669551
Fuck Tim. No one cares about Tim. Tim can go fucking die. (you and hipster roommate seem nice, though)
What the people really want to know is:
How did this all turn out for Smokey Joe?

>>13670359
He did say the little guy is his and is doing better.

>>13669845
BC fag here, I can vouch for this. Fucking potheads and drunks are useless and never do anything they say.

>>13670242
Still being a kid, I didn't know how to manage the situation (in fact, I wanted to kick Oscar out of my life but was impossible, I feared the damn man child could try to harm me if I tried after his own mother told me he had a serious mental disorder which wasn't real retardation but was linked to his immaturity and antisocial behavior).
So, even knowing the apocalyptic effect Oscar was having on my social life, I dared to present him to my game pals. The introduction already was disastrous as Oscar started to joke with his morbid humor, a prologue to the horrors to come.
That night I was the GM and I was directing a home brew setting which mixed 1920s era culture with high fantasy (I was heavily inspired by Fritz Lang Metropolis and the anime movie with the same name), As soon as I start to describe the setting, Oscar began to point the sources of the setting as well as annoy the other players about the influences behind their characters creations (almost I forget to mention but Oscar had a unhealthy obsession towards the comic book character Lobo and Dark Schneider, the main protagonist of the manga Bastard) just for start an argument about how awesome his character was because it was "inspired" by the greatest characters in comic book history.
TBC

>>13670414

>waiting patiently

This threads are always comedy gold.

>>13666996
Ah, now that takes me back. I'd just about managed to suppress those memories from last time. Oddly, perhaps, they've put me in the mood to put fingers to keyboard once again.

Allow me to regale you once again, with the tale of my people.

CASE STUDY 6; Being a case study of Luke concerning relationships.

Before I get knee deep in stinking prose though, a warning; the case study is a little out of contet unless you've read the previous threads (linked above). Hopefully, you're sitting comfortably, on something soft.

Allow me to take you back to the end of my first year of University, and the beginning of my second. At that time, I'd had the fortune (or rather misfortune, as it turned out later) to have fallen in love with a beautiful lady - a young woman who would merit her own thread were I the kind of man to be vindictive about this sort of thing. Around the same time, Sirk had fallen in with a girlfriend of his own (who he lives with today, and further congratulations to him in all of his ex-patriotic glory!)

This coming-of-age, of course, had attracted the ire of Luke - currently only slightly mossy - who found his assertations of being a world famous counterstrike player (before the tournament organisers found out he's been using a noclips hack and removed him from all of their records) falling on deaf, and slightly dreamy ears. Being a braggart by nature and would-be master of the one up, he needed to find a way of bringing the group's attention back to him.

And so Catherine was born.

>>13670359
>>13670377

Actually I said Tim's parents came and took the cat away. I just cared for Smokey Joe during the time I lived in the apartment. While he was in my care he went from being a ratty bag of bones with a rotting infection on the side of his head to a reasonably healthy cat with a healing infection, and all I had to do was get him a $50 vet visit and $10 of antibiotics and dewormer, give him a clean place to sleep and cat food instead of kraft cheese and garbage.

He was around 15 years old then, so he's probably not alive anymore. But Tim's parents seemed like decent people, in fact they seemed to care for the cat more than they did for Tim. So I'm sure Smokey Joe lived out his remaining days well cared for

>>13670377
Oh, well alright then. Sorry, didn't catch that part the first time.
Good end.

>>13670414
Oscar began to annoy the fuck of my players until someone dared to tell him what he really thought about his character."Pollo", a guy who had less common sense than a ork in a Waagh! and which had the tendency to get cocky with those he shouldn't be, dared not only to tell Oscar his character sucked but also how retarded and Mary Sue both Dark Schneider and Lobo where.
Suddenly, the commando knife, which only I was aware of it presence a part of Oscar himself, stabbed the table, piercing the character sheet of "Pollo". Everybody was shocked, "Pollo" almost started to cry and he even pissed on his pants making a mess of the chair where he was sitting.
TBC

>>13670514

Oh. My. God. I can see it in my MIND.

>>13670480
oh shi..

>>13670514

HAHAHAHAHAHA

>>13669367
>>13669267
>MFW
But, seriously, how do people put up with shit like this? It can't be THAT hard to kick someone out of an apartment.

>>13670480

She was first brought up during one of our weekly all-night DnD sessions; one of my games, I believe. The party had just emerged victorious from an encounter with some bandits in which Nairda's pet weasel had attached itself to the leader's face whilst Sirk exploded his crotch. Being fairly new to PnP gaming, we had entered the awkward lull in action where I scrambled to work out how much experience the weasel got, and how much the bandit's swords were worth. Happy silence filled the table, as the friend known as Raki chomped down on his pizza.

"Oh guys, did I tell you? I spoke to Catherine today!"

Confusion reigned. Raki made an inquisitive eating sound.

"She's my girlfriend in Japan!"

He flashed a grin at the table. Either the information or the beige colour of his dentures forced Raki's pizza to rise to the occasion; I'm not sure which. Nevertheless at this stage of our relationship with Luke, we were inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. An eyebrow was duly raised, and I resolved to hand out loot. "So, the weasel levels up to level 3, and you get 6 swords, which are worth abou-"

"She's a supermodel, I'm surprised you guys haven't herd of her." He butted in, forfeiting his share of the loot.

Nevertheless, I decided to skim over the comment witha "that's nice Luke." and continue, hoping the comments would prove to be as unlikely as my ambitions of becoming a gold medallist at gymcana. Unfortunately, she made another mention in the following night's game. And two more the night after.

It was two weeks later, whilst I was working on my solid state physics when Luke broke the chain lock on my room to deliver me a request.

>>13670514
The only person who reacted to Oscar behavior, which face in that moment could match Jack Torrance under the influence of a Wyrm spirit, was Juan the owner of the specialist shop where we usually played not only pen and paper RPGs but also TCGs.
Being Juan a veteran metalhead and almost as huge as Oscar, he kicked him out of the store (Oscar even put some resistance as he didn't had a chance to recover the knife, which was still in the table) and told him never come back under menace of call the police and tell them what happened that day (Juan had a cam in his store, mostly for control the guys in the minis section of his store, so everything was recorded in a VHS now lost somewhere).
That event finally allowed me to get rid of Oscar as I really snapped from the intimidation vicious circle I was stuck in. TBC

Theme characters that hit you over the head with their theme. Yes, I get that he's a steampunk mad doctor, that doesn't mean you have to bother me every five minutes with his goggles or his thinly veild victorian racism.

>>13670636
Wait, dentures?
Did he get his green teeth pulled? Or do the beige dentures just fill in the spaces? Do I even want to know?

ITT: people I want to see on Hoarders.

Especially Tim:
>>13668970
>>13669267

and DJ:
>>13669876

>>13670636
"I want an in-character romance subplot", he lisped, half swiping my notes off my desk. If I hadn't been 19 years old and insecure at the time, I would have asked him to leave then and there - but the day was hot and his smell overpowering. Roleplay at our games was... lacking somewhat, and I was eager to get some more character interaction going on, so I made one of the first critical mistakes of my adulthood. I humoured him.

"Sure," said I, salvaging my homework from his greasy mitts. "What did you have in mind?"

And that was the first time I ever saw Luke's Book. An A4 hardback notepad, unremarkable the first time I saw it (although I'd see it too many times over the proceeding years). He opened it up to show me a picture of what he wanted his interest to look like.

It was Dizzy, from Guilty Gear. Next to her, in his chicken-scratch, I could make out the name "Catherine". The sinking feeling in my stomach grew a little, but I was desperate to get him out of my room so I could breathe properly, and perhaps also shower. Inexperienced as I was, I made my second critical mistake of thee affair.

"I'll see what I can do."

At least it got rid of him. I made sure to enter her character as a beaurocrat working for the party's employer in the next session, and made up a sideplot involving her having to audit their performance.

>>13670701
>Do I even want to know?
If the last two and a half thread learned me anything.
You don't.

>>13670762
I imagine Luke as a greater daemon of Nurgle in your stories. Like how the models look.

>>13670762
As I was about to give the introduction to her character (I'd statted her as a level 1 adept, for what it's worth), Luke cleared his throat with a sound akin to a drain clearing itself of old bathwater. In the moment of abject horror this created, he launched into his gurgling description of what she looked like. I'll spare you most of the details, but suffice it to say that he lingered most on the breasts, crotch, rear and clothing, describing the picture from his book - he had it open in front of him - and stopping to breath slightly more heavily after certain details had been divulged.

I lost a lot of respect that day, and looking back on it, I can see why. In an effort to get the game out of the black pit of wierdness that it had just fallen into, I corrected him on the clothing (she wore a plain uniform - he moaned slightly, I'm sure of it) and attempted to move on.

The party moved through wooded areas for a few days, with Luke slipping me notes on how he was watching her the whole time, especially when she was either asleep, bathing or going to the loo. I could feel my deadpan beginning to crack, but I coped, resolving to kill her off in the next encounter. Dire bears.

>>13670639
However, "Pollo", humiliated, wanted to get revenge on him. San Juan was close (for you who aren't spaniards, San Juan pretty much matches the 4th of July as being a celebration where fireworks are the main protagonist) so the fireworks stores where open and was easy, back then, buy really huge ones for a teen.
I don't know how it exactly when but seems "Pollo" and other two of his friends, Roca and Carlos, decided to fuck up with Oscar the next day. Seems they almost spend all a morning following him, accord to the information I shared with them about his habits. Seems "Pollo" had the wonderful idea of toss a "Trueno" or a "Gato" (a type of very big and very noisy firework which can be very harmful if it's not manipulated correctly) against Oscar when he was inside of a bank office electronic cashier area. He tossed two of them, one exploding near to the feet of Oscar, almost hurting him and the other against the main door of the bank office, which at a time was closed, making the silent alarm get activated.
The hilarious thing is Oscar was carrying his gun and that bank office electronic cashier area was situated on a upper level respect the street. So instead of go down the stairs, he jumps them, the gun drops to the floor as he lands while a police car near the area approaches as the bank office camera records all this.
For what Oscar's mother told me years later, Oscar weapons license expired when the cops asked him explanations and the video didn't even shows who toss the fireworks or even how these explode inside the bank office (also his lawyer was incredible bad).
For what I know, Oscar spend three years in jail for all that.

>>13670871
Dire Bears. Yes. The best way to deal with people who give problems.
Also When Your BBEG calls for a plague of Dire Bears.... RUN for it.

>>13670900
Wow, Oscar was a douche, bu having him imprisoned?

Poor show

>>13670871

> Dire bears

Dantalaeon approves +20

>>13670900

YES

>>13670924
>plague of Dire Bears
>I'm so sick of all these boils, man! Hey, wait a minute, this lump's movinOHFUCKGARAHBFHABHSDBGJHG

>>13670900
That was a horrible thing for them to do.

>>13670871

The idea was to have the bears jump the party and have one of them maul the beaurorat and drag the body away to eat - no evidence of my mistake would be left in the game world. Alas, the dice gods have never been kind to me (and with this amount of bad luck I begin to wonder if I was Adolf Hitler in a previous life, or at least Benito Mussolini) and a series of lucky crits and bad rols on my part left her prone and unconcious, but not dead at the end of the combat.

Emphasis on prone. Luke was the first to make it over to her, and the room waited with the same awed look that a cow gives an oncoming freight train.

"I bend over her, taking note of her muddy uniform... *wheeze* and then lift her up onto my shoulders, accidentally smearing some of the dirt on my clothes."

He looked up from his faraway glazed stare at his book, licked his lips quickly and then glared at us all incredulously. "What? Have you guys never seen good roleplaying before?"

The game was called for the night, as we all quickly made excuses of fatigue, workload and back rot and fled to our rooms.

Being an early riser, I was first into the kitchen that morning. His book was still on the table, open at the page he'd shown me.

It wasn't just a picture of "Catherine" any more, it was a work in progress.

>>13670931
Carrying a concealed weapon while not having a license is illegal.

>>13670900
>>13670982

Show me a police officer that wouldn't fuck out over a minority with a weapon in front of a bank sounding a silent alarm.

>>13670964
Yeah....
They explode out a grow fast...

>>13670931
In Spain weapon regulations is a very serious thing. If you forget to have all your papers in condition you are really fucked. Also, seems his own parents back stabbed him as they where pretty much tired of their son plus he already had some previous encounters with the law (related mostly to aggressions and at least one sexual assault).
However, "Pollo" and friends where lucky, if the gun didn't drop or the cops didn't appeared, perhaps the story would had a more tragic end.

>>13671021

Being Hispanic in Spain does not make you an ethnic minority, dude.

>>13671072
having a civilian gun-license in europe on the other hand.

>>13671100

I have no idea what you are trying to say to me.

>>13670956

I'm taking that gif, thanks!

>>13670970

Over the two sessions he had been plotting and stalking the mythalogical creature known as Catherine, he had been modifying the picture. Far from the trace that it was initially, he had started changing it to suit whatever was going through his head. The chest of the picture had been rubbed out, replaced instead with his own mockup of bare breasts - huge deformed lumps with accentuated nipples. The clothing of the original picture - revealing in its best case - was now very crudely crotchless, and hairy. He had obviously attempted to draw thick makeup on the face and enlarge her lips, giving the overall effect of a very strange deviant clown. He had also begun to colour it in.

Brown stains, all over the image. I closed the book, lest my growing horror consume me. Instantly, I recoiled; the cover of the book was almost imperceptibly damp. Not wanting to risk confrontation over throwing the book away and not willing to risk that the dampness was condensation, I left it on the table and went to scrub my hands raw.

When I saw Luke the next day, he was very quick to impress upon me how much he'd enjoyed the game yesterday evening and how he'd thought about where it was going all night as well - he couldn't wait for the next session.

I never ran that game again, nor any game for a long time. We did see the book again a few times, but I never had the strength to look inside it a second time; Sirk informs me that it was a horrific experience.

He steals my food.

I'll just be sitting there, and I when I turn, one of my tacos is GONE.

It really gets annoying.

>>13671116
You are a strong person. I'd have fucking killed him before the weeks end.

>>13671116

You have made me feel emotion. That deserves payment.

>>13671185
That crosses the fucking line.
You need to deal with that shit.

>>13671190
>>13671220

A few years of that, we endured. It was not the most pleasent of experiences, what with the other things going on. Ah, but those be tales for another time, perhaps. Safe to say, the saga of Luke isn't over yet - I still have more stories of woe and horror (and I'm trying to make them a readable experience as well, since writing might actually get me out of the life I'm leading at the moment if I can get good enough)

Polite sage for not being about Luke

>>13671116
Your story seems a bit contrived , not sure if believe.

Lets just put it this way.
We have a fucking pact to never let our that guy find out about Baccano so he wont ruin it for us forever.

To put it in perspective, he ruined Bayonetta and Vanquish for a DMC fanboy. I eventually saved him and got him to enjoy them, but god damn he can ruin anything.

>>13671237
One time he even stole a whole pizza.

I had to order more.

>>13671279

Any feelings that I might have fabricated any of it are probably due to the story coming out of the context of thee previous Luke threads; I'll admit, it's a little disjointed here, but it's a THAT GUY thread and I felt the urge to do some moaning. It eases my shrivelled soul.

I just read all of the Luke stories.

>my face will remain like this until I have had a healthy dose of alcohol and prayed to the Emperor

>>13671378
Tonight, you'll dream reenactments of the sex saga of Luke. The part where he lays you down by the fire, the bodies of flies hissing in the air as their bodies are burned. He blankets your face in a foul, rotten kiss. His lips envelop your entire face and slobber his acidic saliva all over you, you an taste the dead cells and the odor of absolute rot as he grins down at you. His green teeth wriggling lightly in their loose gums as his slimey and brown tongue wriggles against them.

>>13671408

Oh Emperor of Mankind,
Send Your gaze to me with benevolence.
Watch over Your servant and soldier,
And protect me from peril.

>>13671323
Dude... Not contrived at all. I am scared by similarities to someone I know...

>>13666900
>Our DM is soft spoken and then likes to interupt his own campaign with silly shit our characters do. "Suddenly everyone is disco dancing!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

In the group I'm currently in, we almost have two That Guys. Only one is a bad enough offender to piss off just about everybody.

I'm the only girl in the group, and we meet up in a small apartment that five guys live in. I don't mind the mess, because it's managable enough to walk about in and you can easily find a clean dish most of the time. However. Most of the guys are pretty chill. Except for That Guy.
He:
> Is a chain pot smoker, and never opens a fucking window
> Has an OMGORIGINALNOSTEAL fighter/sorcerer character that doesn't use his spells ever.
> Said character runs up to anything that looks like it may be a threat, no matter how important they are to the plot or how many levels higher than us they may be.
> Is constantly ditching us for making pot sales, usually at his room while we're playing.
> When not selling his goods, he's usually fucking his gf of the week.
> Even when he doesn't have anything planned, he still fucking ditches.
> Never cleans a damned thing, we've given up and just kick his stuff back into his room.
> Never puts down for food, we've stopped feeding him abotu a month ago.
> We've killed off his character twice now, he throws a fit and DM writes his character back in to shut him up. In a month, the rest of the guys are moving. Guess who's not coming with.

Our other guy, I'll refer to him as Billy, isn't half as bad. He's just a bit of a slob. Boy rarely showers, even more rarely washes his greasy-ass hair. Dirty clothes everywhere, and he lives in a sort of "loft" area off of the living room. His shit is EVERYWHERE in the main area of the apartment. I mean...shit. He picks up his trash when we complain at least, and he pays for his share.

rolled 5, 5, 5, 1 = 16

Our That Guy stopped playing DnD but we got him to play a game of EVE board game. The results were hilarious.

I played with That Guy, his brother, and another friend. That Guy ended up attacking his brother and soon that small conflict turned into a Gettysburg with both sides building 20+ stack armies. Meanwhile That Guy's brother, me, and the other friend were glancing at each other and at the board; the brother had purposefully left himself open to be flanked and had several defenseless resources open to attack. That Guy, in his stagnant, unstimulated mind, did not see it.

That Guy decided to stop building armies and attack. Unfortunately for That Guy his brother is a bit more tactical minded and was hording tactics cards and used them to stop or divert the attacks from That Guy. That Guy grew so mad he literally pushed himself back away from the table, messing up the whole board. The last straw was when my friend pointed out the routes that he could have taken to flank and beat his brother. He clammed up, pulled his hoodie over his head and emo quit.

Now this is a kid who believes that he is entitled to sit on his ass all day and his parents have to pay for everything. He believes everything in his life should be on easy/baby mode and there should be nothing that challenges him mentally in his life.

That guy in our group buys horrible anime and forces us to watch them to laugh at them. Problem is, they're so bad, there's nothing really funny about them.

He spams the same unfunny jokes IRL that he's made up. He'll continue this until you tell him to stop or you'll kill him.

He ruins every campaign by playing only Chaotic Random.

He's actually very smart, but constantly devolves into the mentality of a 12 year old. If anything outside of college requires a bit of work, he'll either half ass it, or won't be able to figure it out.

If he weren't my best friend since we were 3, I'd probably have nothing to do with him. Seriously, he's like a foil to pretty much everything I do, with the exception that he plays tabletop and some vidya.

Archive this shit, plz

>>13671796
see
>>13669700

Our 'Guy' is a thoroughbred powergamer. Seems to ignore all concepts of character development or tact. The rest of us think he may be autistic or something, because he can't take a hint from anybody, ever, and all he seems to do is make OP characters and play LoL. This guy will drop by for a bowl and stay for NINE hours unless you explicitly tell him get the fuck out. Texts us all the damn time. His latest fuckery involves his trying to play some huge goddamn cheese character in our upcoming Kobold campaign, which was supposed to be wacky and low-power.

AND THAT MOTHERFUCKING LIP
CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, JESUS

>>13669695
>>13669675
>>13669637

...why do I think this is the same person?

Clearly, pot smokers are all THAT GUY

>>13669906

Here is probably the best thing to do if you are afraid of being "That Guy"

lurk moar

Just chill at the table, roll dice, and roleplay when it comes up (try to be a silent character in the first place).

My That Guy thought cancer is contagious.
My That Guy was unemployed won $21,000 at the casino and walked around with it in his pocket for two weeks. told everyone loudly how much he won and whipped out a wad of cash the likes of which i only see in rap videos to pay for McDonalds. Then left it in his trailer on his next outing to the casino and came back in the middle of being robbed. Got a brass knuckle sucker punch in the forehead. required stitches. He refused to put it in the bank cause he thought that that was how the IRS would find it despite having given the casino his name address and soc # when he cashed out.

My That guy makes me rage so hard.

>>13669332
>This doesn't creep me out or gross me out so much as make me wonder what ten-year-old Pepsi tastes like. Does it go bad in the can?

No need to wait, anon!
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/bj/bjtries

Brad Jones: Drinking horrible ungodly outdated drinks for your amusement!

Spoilers: it goes a bit flat.