STAFF:
Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)

Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE

Koyomi, your Japanese gamer science nerd. (Warm) - SEXED

SISTER FUCKING CARMINE, THE FUCKING FEMALE FUCKING ANGRY MARINE! (Neutral)
- Costume Option: Sexy Commissar
- Costume Add-on: Blood Splatter

Kristopher, formerly Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Distant)

Felicia, the cute catgirl (Warm) - SEXED

Jehanne, the paladin of Bahamut (Devoted) - SEXED

Alicia, the former Demon Queen of Lust, now in possession of Katherine's Love (Warm)

120 XP

Day 12 of 30

You have made a promise to Alicia to go to hell and get back her souls.

> "All right. I'll go to hell."
> "Nah, let's not go to hell after all."

WHAT DO?

fuck yes

Woot. There shall be dickings.

We need some more training before assaulting Hell. Can we spend some XP?

well, we're going to hell when we die anyways, might as well get the grand tour and some (more) experience with the place before we go

>>9865200

Absolutely.

You can now level up. You can only level up each stat once.

Athletics: 3 -> 4 40 XP
Affection: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Skill: 3 -> 4 40 XP
Cunning: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Luck: 2 -> 3 30 XP
Will: 2 -> 3 30 XP

RANDOM EVENT: 30 XP
RANDOM LOOT: 30 XP

Athletics + Skill. Those are the combat stats?
We want permanent boosts when possible.

>>9865216
Cunning needs to go up. We use it for everything.

>>9865240
Because we're lying, magnificent bastards.

>>9865237
>>9865240

Athletics is basically the combat stat for things like physical actions. Skill is the combat stat for anything that requires finesse. In roleplaying terms, however, Skill also encompasses Skill in maintaining a household.

>>9865261
Well, yeah. That's why we should increase it.

>>9865276
>>9865261
>>9865240

Seems like there is a consensus to raise Cunning to 3. This will leave you with 90 XP.

>>9865282
Let's raise athletics/skill. I assume athletics is melee, and skill is ranged.
Since we seem to prefer guns, skill seems a sound selection.
However, we plan on beating the butler in fisticuffs, for which athletics will be useful.

Athletics and Skill as well as the Cunning previously mentioned.

>>9865309

Raising Athletics and Skill will place you at 10 XP. Also, a 4 in a stat essentially means that you are world-class at it. Confirm?

>>9865326
World Class??
FUCK YES.

>>9865326
Well, I'll confirm, and hope others would agree with my decision.

Athletics, Skill, and Cunning.

max dem stats

>>9865326
confirm I guess

>>9865326
confirmed

>>9865326
>>9865347
>>9865350

Confirmed. You have finished levelling up.

-----
As we return to the sexy and weird world of Maid Quest after an extended absence, we find ourselves on the beach outside our mansion. The sun is setting in the distance, casting a scarlet tinge over the entire scene. As you stand there watching the tide wash in, you realize that, although the water is washing over your feet, your clothing is not getting wet. In fact, your feet are not sinking into the sand at all, and your body does not seem to interact with the water in any way, like a bad clipping error in a video game.

As you stand there, puzzling over this, you hear a shout from up the beach. Running down the beach, wearing a sundress and a large, pretty sun hat, is a young girl with long, black hair. She is barefoot, and she is shouting out to a young man wearing a slate grey suit with a thin tie standing on the pier looking out at the sunset.

"Maximillian!" she shouts. "Maximillian!"

The young man, presumably Maximillian, looks back at the girl and smiles. "Alicia!" he says, laughing, as the girl leaps into his arms and gives him an exuberant, happy hug. "When did you get here?"

>>9865450
>First Person
>Fades to third person
>Unrealistic
Oh shit, we're dreaming.

>>9865450
This happened in Alicia's palace. Roll to disbelieve.

>>9865450
Ooh, cutscene. Can we interact? Can the other 2 see us? What if we wave/call them? If no reaction... proceed to grope.

>>9865450

As you look closer, you can see that the girl is indeed Alicia. . . except that her eyes are brown, not violet, and her ears have no points on them. She is smiling happily as she gives the young man another exuberant embrace. "I just got here a little while ago," she says, grinning. "Guess what?"

"What?" Maximillian asks.

"We're here to stay! Grandpa says that we're moving here for good! He checked it out with the school and everything. . . isn't that great? Now we can see each other every day!"

For a brief moment, a troubled expression comes over the young man, then it is, just as quickly, gone. "That. . . that's fantastic," he says, his voice touched with false joy. "I'm. . . I'm really looking forward to seeing you some more."

"Max?" Alicia asks, softly. "What's wrong?"

Max opens his mouth to speak. "Alicia. . . this is NPR Morning News."

-----
You wake up in your room to the sound of the clock radio set to National Public Radio, the annoying, flat monotone drone of the morning anchor filling your ears. You reach over and slap the snooze button, then lay down and stare up at the ceiling of your palatial room.

You hear a soft "nyu," and turn to see Felicia curled up in bed with you. She is pawing playfully at your face, with an inquisitive, "Play nao?" look on her feline features.

>>9865450
lore check, what was our uncles name?

>>9865564
You know, I don't think I ever said, but let's clarify: it wasn't Maximilian.

>>9865558
motorboat her

>>9865558
Felicia really ruins our ability to fap every morning.

We need a better smexing stat. Commence smexing.

>>9865558

Playing... well, amuse her with a bit of string, I guess.

>>9865591
Utterly wrong. Felicia has become our right hand.

>>9865579
>>9865597
>>9865609
>>9865615

On a sudden impulse, you pull up the t-shirt she wears to bed, and bury your face between her small, but perky, breasts. With an exuberant "BPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" noise, you motorboat her vigorously.

Felicia yowls in surprise. Her tail puffs up and she leaps out of bed, but with your head under her t-shirt, she gets stuck, then winds up tumbling out of bed tangled up in bedsheets, myuuuing plaintively as she struggles to get out.

By the way, you now see that the t-shirt is the ONLY thing she wears to bed. Apparently she's not very fond of wearing panties, maybe it's hard to get them on over her tail.

>>9865615
Does our staff count as a part of us?
Because I'd be fine with this.

>>9865659
We JUST noticed this?

We didn't notice all the other times we had sex with her?

>>9865681
Well YOU noticed, but it occurred to me I hadn't made a POINT of this yet, so I thought that I would.

AND I CLOSE ALL MY OTHER TABS BECAUSE FUCK EXAMS WERE BORING

>>9865669
WE ARE ONE.


Begin tickling the kitty. Both of them.

oh god I've been reading this in the archives but this is the first time I've caught it live! YAY! You're the best.

>>9865700
Is that us, Alfred, and our meidos?

YESH!

>>9865700
If this is what I think it is. . .

-----
>>9865709

You pounce on the cat, tangled up in the bedsheets, and begin to tickle her mercilessly. She yowls and swipes at you, but it just tangles herself up even worse, and she winds up with her shirt hiked up to around her shoulder level and her arms immobilized in a pose not entirely unlike the attached lolcat pic.

>>9865771

show no mercy! Continue the tickling!

>>9865771
We have two hands. That means... we can tickle AND grope!

Tease into submission

Alternatively, wear our cat maid in our back to greet the inevitable breakfast event

>>9865818
Man, I half expected you to say RIP AND TEAR (her shirt).

>>9865771
now that she's pinned in places give her a kiss on the nose

then let out a dramatic evil laugh and say "now i have you right where i want you"

we really ought to talk to alicia and find out just how smart felicia is/find a way to allow her to talk

>>9865796
The tickling continues. It continues for quite a long time, as the kitty girl ineffectually struggles against you and tries to push you off, to no avail, both yowling and laughing in equal measure. . .

You are interrupted in your play by the sound of a throat being cleared, and a snarky, "If I'm interrupting anything, I can come back at a later time."

You look up from tickling your naked catgirl tangled up in bedsheets, and see a certain loli demoness sitting on a windowsill, giving you a sneering, sarcastic, superior look. She is wearing a white sundress, and as the morning breeze catches the light cloth, you have a sudden flashback to a half-remembered dream. . .

>>9865842
"Who's Maximilian?"

>>9865842
Tell her to join in, ask for possible breakfast, comment on how well she seems to carry her new flat body like she had previous practice

>>9865842
Stand up, awkwardly clear throat. "Nice dress."

>>9865892
This. Out of the blue, no warmup. Wipe that damn smirk off.

>>9865842

Ask her if he has an Intel for our upcoming op into hell. Since we obviously can't get SATINT, ELINT, or remote imaging. We need more HUMINT!

>>9865838
>>9865892
>>9865893
>>9865912

You stand up and clear your throat awkwardly. "Nice dress," you say.

"Thanks," Alicia sighs." She jumps down from the windowsill into the room and walks over to your breakfast table. You now see that she has a picnic basket with her, and she unpacks your breakfast from it: a simple, cold breakfast of muffins, a carafe of coffee, some fruit salad, and a half a grapefruit. In other words, the "Part of this Complete Breakfast" that doesn't include the sugary cartoon character cereal. "If you're intending to fuck, please, go right ahead," Alicia says. "We can discuss what we need to while you do it."

>>9865963

You sure? You could get in on this, you know...

fuck sleep, fuck class tomorrow, it's maidquest time, hell yesssssss

>>9865980
Seconded so hard.

>>9865980
this

>>9865963
Look at Felicia. If she's up to it, let her go for it. Otherwise, dismiss her.

>>9865998 here.

Fuck that. Let's go with >>9865980

>>9865963
Dismiss Felicia, fuck Alicia.
We need to power her up for our trip to hell, and how better to give energy to a daemon of lust?

Get Felicia on lap (this can be interpreted in some many ways ohgod), pet her while we start conversation

>>9865993
>>9865991
>>9865980
Something tells me she won't go for it...

But...
When she doesn't, "Oh? You'd rather do it with Max?"

>>9866011 here.
Seconding >>9866021 when she says no.

>>9865980
>>9865991
>>9865993

"You sure? You could get in on this, you know..." you say, smirking back.

"As hilarious as it would be to experience your inexpert fumblings between the sheets, I don't really feel like submitting myself to such a lousy time of it," the bitch-demoness says, as she pours herself a cup of tea with six lumps of sugar and practically as much cream as tea. "For instance, once one has tasted truly fine tea, the shit you get from the supermarket in little bags tastes exactly like that. Rat droppings, that is."

You wait until she's about to take a sip of her tea before asking, "Who's Maximilian?"

Your timing is perfect. Alicia spit-takes her tea across the room in a spray worthy of a garden hose. "Who. . . who the. . . I have no idea what you're talking about," she stammers.

>>9866067
your reaction suggests otherwise, but anyways

so what do you expect us to be dealing with on our little jaunt to hell?

>>9866067

Retcon: you say, "So. . . like Maximilian?" instead.

>>9866067
Is there anything in the contract about her having to always tell us the truth? Because if there is, tell her that either she tells us now, or we sex her up good.

Otherwise, differ to other anons.

>>9866087
also, pull felicia into your lap and start playing with her breasts while talking

>>9866067

Hit a nerve, have we?

>>9866067
"Really? Max would be so sad to hear that."

>>9866067

"Okay. Don't spit on my food, please. Or at least have the decency to do it while I'm not watching."

>>9866113
>>9866111
>>9866103
>>9866087

"So, hit a nerve, did we?" You pull Felicia into your lap as you sit at the breakfast table and idly cup the little catgirl's breasts from behind, fondling them playfully as she mews and wriggles in your lap, trying to break free. "Do remember that our contract states that you're not allowed to lie to me. . ."

"It also doesn't say I'm obliged to say anything," Alicia points out, "So I'll be truthful when I say I'd really rather not talk about it, thank you very much, especially when we have a jaunt to hell planned."

"Good point, you say, as you slide your hands down Felicia's body, petting her tummy. She myuuus and turns around in your lap to lick your face playfully, then you give her a kiss on the nose as Alicia rather pointedly spreads butter on a warm scone. "So, what can we expect down there?" you ask.

"The usual. Demons. Damned souls. Rains of brimstone and lakes of acid. Thousands of guys standing on their heads while waist-deep in shit. Lawyers. The usual things you find in hell. In our case, we shouldn't have too much trouble. We just gate in, grab the item, and get out like a bat out of. . . well, the usual place."

>>9866197

"Will we face..."

Shudder.

"Infernal Tax Auditors?"

>>9866197
"Any personal enemies that would notice you entering?"

>>9866197
"Murderers, child molesters, people who talk at the theater... Sounds like fun."

Bite into something.

"You know, Alicia, the more you tell me, the more I can help you. We don't need to be enemies."

>>9866197
"have any personal enemies that may now be squatting in your realm to gloat?"

"not trying to be irritating, but i like to be prepared"

fondle felicias ass

This anon agrees with >>9866259.
It's better to have all our maids appreciate us.

Also, fuck you OP, I have finals tomorrow.

>>9866197
"How close will we gate in to it? And how certain are you of that?"

>>9866259
>>9866248
>>9866244

"Murderers, child molesters, people who talk in the theatre, sounds. . . special," you quip. You pull a bagel out of the picnic basket and spread some cream cheese on it. "Any enemies that might hold a grudge?"

"Plenty," Alicia says. "I didn't exactly make friends down there in hell. But the thing is, when you're a demon in hell, you've also got enemies of your own to deal with. I don't figure anyone I'll meet will find it worth it to go after me. Not when they've got bigger things to worry about."

You take a bite of your bagel, then pour yourself a cup of coffee. "Well," you say, "the more you tell me, the more I can help you. We don't need to be enemies." You punctuate this last statement with a pat on Felicia's ass. She purrs and arches her back into your hand so you can cup her cheek better.

Alicia gives you a sad, sympathetic look, filled with pity. "Yes, we do," she says. "Anyway, we should gate in somewhere within a few meters of the object. And don't worry, it's not hard to find. . . so long as you bring a certain playing card with you."

You hold up the ace of spades that is her phylactery in one hand. "I figured you might say that. Don't think this will mean I'd let you have it back."

"Don't worry. . . you can hold onto it if you want. I won't even touch it, I just need it present as a focus." Alicia stretches out. "Anyway, is there anything you want to do before we go? Anyone?"

Also ask if it's normal that Kris seems to have fragmented memories of the mansion.

>>9866339
"Honestly? Every single one of my maids. But a man needs to prioritize."

>>9866339
I don't have the necessary verbal (or textual) charm to suggest specifics, but I suggest we attempt to get on better terms with Alicia.

Whatever it takes.

>>9866339
should probably finish up with felicia before we head off, don't want to leave her hanging, but after that i'm good to go

>>9866404
She's not the only one.
We do NOT want to enter hell with blue balls.

>>9866339

Suggesting picking up at LEAST Jehanne for support, if not her AND Carmine in case the op goes FUBAR. Which it will. They always do. Recommend taking a sword, as well. Also, >>9866347

>>9866339

Wait, didn't we give the Ace of Spades to Reginald??

>>9866432
Ask Alicia to throw us a tube of KY, and tell her we'll speak to her again in an hour or so.

>>9866365
>>9866387
>>9866347

"Honestly? Every single one of my maids. But I'll prioritize. Maybe I'll settle for just this one this morning. . ." you say, pulling Felicia close to you and sliding your hand down to fondle her pussy.

"Great," Alicia says. "While you do that, I'll make preparations." She empties out the rest of the picnic basket's contents onto the table, then puts the basket itself on the ground. Pulling out a piece of chalk, she begins to draw a magic circle on the hardwood floor around it.

"What are you doing?" you ask, as Felicia purrs happily and straddles your leg, rubbing her steadily moistening sex against your thigh.

"Making ready our conveyance."

"A handbasket?"

"How else would you expect us to get to hell?"

>>9866452
Yup, but as it occurred to me that you didn't have it yet, I decided that you'd gotten it back from him in preparing for this venture.

"Potato."

>>9866454
>We're going to Hell in a handbasket.
I see what you did there.

>>9866339
>Yes, we do.
"Why do I get the feeling that this isn't just about the grudge for destroying your palace and freeing the souls that served as your source of power?"

>>9866474

sounds fair. Now let's finish up with Felicia and get ready to GO BACK TO HELL

>>9866454
>Going to hell in a handbasket, literally.

>>9866499
we also need to bring a cd player with us

and play meatloaf: bat out of hell, back into hell

Love you, Goshujin.

Guys, are we hiring a new maid afterwards? Because we could leave Carmine with a retirement plan in Hell (Which is, punch things and keep safety just in case we make more enemies down there)

>>9866454
My god. Voltaire's "Hell in a Handbasket" came on JUST AS I GOT THE JOKE.

Surreal.

>>9866489
this

Okay, get Jehanne, Reginald, and Carmine ready for the trip, after sexing our cat.

Plan on leaving Carmine.

>>9866522
We just got Carmine the sexy commissar outfit, which gives her the sexy/ANGRY traits. It'd be shame to leave her in hell before we got the angry sex we unlocked.

>>9866577
Wait, why are we planning to leave Carmine? After we went through all the effort of getting her equipped with things that might let us sex her up, it seems like a waste.

We're not taking Reginald. He deserves a break, for once. Also, we're keeping Carmine. Stop trying to fuck over our maids, asshats. IT ONLY ENDS BADLY.

As fun as sexxing our catgirl in front of our demon loli might be, I don't think it's terribly endearing. Engage in heavy petting until she is satisfied then go get our hell contingent.

>>9866440

"Great," you say. You pick Felicia up off of the chair and carry her over to the bed. Bending her over the side of the bed, you reach down and begin to run a finger up her warm, wet folds, fingering her from behind as she mews, her tail swishing back and forth. "By the way, we should talk to Jehanne and Carmine. It might be good to have them along with us.

Alicia pauses in the middle of drawing her circle to give you a quizzical look. "So. . . you're thinking of taking a paladin to hell. . . ?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?" you ask.

"Well. . . let me think. Have you ever seen what happens to a piece of sugar when you drop it on an anthill? That's what demons tend to do when paladins show up in hell."

"I still think it would be good to have her there with us," you say, as you pull down your pants and start rubbing the tip of your cock against Felicia's pink, parting folds.

"Suit yourself," Alicia says. "You're the boss, after all."

"How about Carmine?"

"She might not be a bad choice, but if it's supposed to be a mission of subtlety, fast in fast, out, do you really think that she's going to be a good choice?"

"I guess maybe you've got a point," you admit, as you reach around Felicia and pinch her nipples, tweaking them expertly. You've had some practice of late.

stick it in the pooper. make alecia watch

>>9866634
Come on, just like that? At least use some lube or something.

Carmine had Blood Splatter too? Because then we have a Makai warlord waiting to happen

>>9866630
I suppose we could just take Reginald and perhaps Felicia if we can get Alicia to tell us how to change her into a giant jaguar thing.

>>9866634
>>9866630
She doesn't like pooper, see previous threads.
So no pooper. We are gentleman pervert.

>>9866642
make alecia provide the lube. Use tea. I dont care. Put it in the pooper

>>9866673
Ive been following these threads since day one. And I still say pooper

As long as she stays near us, Carmine shouldn't be a problem. Jehanne.... well, maybe that's worth a bit of reconsideration if what Alicia says is true. Though I'm not sure how trustworthy she is; I still think that she's playing us on some level, even if there are truths involved.

>>9866673
She'll have to learn to like it. Lube up.

We could take Samantha too, you know. We haven't been paying her much attention lately. Then again, Sam and Jehanne.

Still voting against sexxing Felicia right in front of a possible future interest here. Demon of lust or not, it would likely leave a bad impression.

I'll trust her on this one. Don't take the Pally.

Take Sam and Reg, for super-stealth high-precision team.

Make sure she realizes we're respecting her decision on this, for bonus points.

>>9866667
Wait, now I want t ask about the possibility of employing prinnies out of Hell, fuck.

Anyway, get on with things and talk to our maids and Reginald about the incursion. If we aren't taking him, then he can at least be support from DA CHOPPA

I'm starting to think "The War" was the War on Hell, given his knowledge of demon towers

>>9866710
>Still voting against sexxing Felicia right in front of a possible future interest here.
Seconding this.

>>9866699
We were in hell with Jehanne before. Wasn't all that bad at all.

>>9866717
i'm voting for it

because funny, and no worse than fapping right in front of new hires

>>9866729
Alicia was in charge of hell then. Presumably things are somewhat more chaotic now. Though this is perhaps a point which we should bring up to her, so that she can justify her point.

>>9866717
Unseconding. Alicia is a cold bitch.
Felicia is a warm catgirl who likes us.

There will be sexings.

>>9866741
Except new hires are neutral to us. Alicia is on poor terms already.

Going to have to disagree with you.

>>9866760

No, she's got Kats love from the change, (i.e. the point of this quest) so she's warm.

>>9866347
>>9866714
>>9866712
>>9866710
>>9866668

"How about Reginald? He might not be a bad choice. . ." You move your cock to the entrance of Felicia's ass, and you suddenly see her tail bristle up as she looks back over her shoulder at you in surprise.

"Reginald," Alicia mutters. "Reginald. Fucking Reginald. I guess you'll be wanting to take Samantha too."

"Why not?" you say, thinking better of it. Reaching into your bedside dresser, you pull out a tube of KY and begin lubing up Felicia's pooper. . . she relaxes at that, and even seems to enjoy it as your slick finger carefully lubricates her tight entrance. "It would be good to have them both along. They'd be a good, fast combat team. . ."

"Look, is it too much to heaven-blessed ask for just to do this one god-damned thing without that stuck up Brit ponce and his slut daughter getting involved?" Alicia snaps. The chalk she's using to make her magic circle breaks. "Seriously, how the hell big do you think this handbasket is? It can barely seat three."

>>9866760
This. She loaths us even while posessing Kats love. Things will become real nasty once she's rid of that if we keep antagonizing her.

>>9866782
So tsundere.

>>9866782
"Slut? Do you know something I don't?"

>>9866782
"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure yo- we, are safe."

>>9866782
sorry then, i'd just like to ensure we're all safe

if it only holds three, then how about just us three go? i'll grab my shotgun , and some sandwiches and we'll make a day of it

>>9866782
"All right, all right, we'll only bring Carmine. Along with us two, that makes three..."

As for Felicia, j-j-j-jam it in.

So us, Alicia and support...

Carmine with all her upgrades?

>>9866782
Fine then, the two of us can probably handle whatever's down there, if it's that important that it's just the two of us.

>>9866808
No, I think she just hates us for real.
The fact that we're screwing her familiar while discussing this sure as hell doen't help the mood either.

>>9866842

We have to bring carmine. We just HAVE TO.

>>9866782
Yeah, this is the biggest trap since trap came to trap town. She doesn't want us bringing ANY of our allies, into her old realm, while we have her phylactery? Suuuuuure.

Wow, we're entering into "uncaring villain continues to have sex despite conversation."

>>9866782
I'd consider bringing Felicia, since she IS Alicia's former familiar, but I'm not too sure she'd be all that happy with us bringing her considering what we're doing right now.

>>9866848
She's a lust demon. I don't think she cares that much about sex for sex's sake; it's only when we start attaching significant emotion to it that she'll care.

>>9866843
>just the two of us.
Is this Alicia's attempt at a "romantic" trip to hell, under the guise of a mission due to tsundere tendencies? No wonder she doesn't want anyone else to come along.

>>9866848
Not to mention she is probably seething with jealousy due to the stolen love sitting inside of her. Guys, we might be an asshole but we are a gentleman asshole still. Stop making the demon mad at us.

>>9866782
Just go with the two of us then.
It's our fuck up we're trying to fix in the first place.

>>9866871
You know, I never thought of it like that.

Yeah, we don't need anyone else. Have Reginald arm us to the teeth, then we should be good to go.

We're doing this Doom style.

But first, our catgirl needs some attention.

>>9866827

"Slut?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Isn't it obvious? The way that she's pressing herself up against you and being all flirty while pretending to be some innocent little thing that's so cool butter wouldn't melt in her snatch? That little vixen is a complete and total minx, and she's probably pounding her hairy clam right this moment thinking about your hot sausage pounding her in the cunt." She emphasizes that last word with a vicious stab of the chalk at the circle. "Those types are all the same. They act all innocent and straightforward, but they're the worst kind of schemers."

"Rather like a woman who claims to just be here for a maid job and then decides to try and steal her employer's soul?" You j-j-j-jam you cock into Felicia's tight ass, making her myuuuuuuuuuu in a combination of pain and pleasure as her tightness grips your cock in a near death-grip.

"Fuck you," Alicia growls.

>>9866884
>Stop making the demon mad at us.
words of wisdom

>>9866909
this

>>9866902
Man, that's a jealous demon.

>>9866909
this, but continue pooper

Okay, we going solo or with Carmine? I vote with, she at least has Hell wisdom, upgrades and the right attitude

Guys, guys, we STILL haven't had it contract'd that Alicia can't use magic without permission. This is just asking for trouble.

>>9866893
while I would aruge that it was her fuck up for messing with us, I cant help but think that its time to cunningly attempt to figure out if she is trying to trap us without allys, or if she wants alonetime with us.

>>9866902
Demanding immediate retcon.

>>9866902
Oh, fantastic. Well, we are already balls deep now and can't change that. Finish her up and go to hell with Alicia alone. Make it clear that we are doing this because of her tactical assessment and the fact we do have some trust in her and her abilities.

>>9866902
"is that an invitation?"

>>9866902
Can we roll cunning to detect if this is tsundere or if this is what she really believes?

UNDO NOW

>>9866902
"Let's say you're right and Samantha is covertly scheming to get me to have sex with her. So what? As it happens, I've wanted to get some of that since about five seconds after laying eyes on her. So her schemes come to fruition, I sleep with her, and everyone wins, right?"

>>9866902

Hypothesis: Maximillian was her old boyfriend, and was fucking a girl bvery much like her description of Sam on the side, hence his disquiet at Alicia moving close to him.

Therefore, she hates the fuck out of Sam's archetype because of that, and it's probably what sent her into a bitter spiral to make her become the demon queen of lust.

>>9866996
It is so blatantly tsundere, and we are doing someone in the same room with her. Right before we go into hell. With a demon. Who is jealous and mad at us.

Smart.

>>9866996

>Cunning: 12
>Alicia's Cunning: SECRET

As far as you can tell, she is being the most tsundere tsundere that ever tsundere'd. But she's also hiding something else.

Also, Cunning Check 2:

> Your Cunning: 18
> Alicia's Cunning: SECRET

Whatever is making her mad, it's not you fucking Felicia. She seriously doesn't seem to care about that at all.

>>9867032
gently ask her what's really wrong

>>9867032
I'm guessing she has a fuckton of cunning, which makes sense considering she was a powerful demon of lust. Time to start another investigation after we go through hell to find out what that is.

>>9867055

>assfucking Felicia

How is that going, by the way?

>>9867055
>>9867032

"would you just spill it already? I can't really do anything about something I'm not even really aware of."

>>9867032
>>9867055
So, what's the current plan for who we're bringing.

Just us and Alicia?
Also, I'm liking the "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you- we, are safe." that some anon suggested earlier, shoehorn that in, if you can.

>>9867064
second on that. Before we go into the mouth of hell, we need to know this. Might be wise to offhandedly mention the "should probly bind your magical spells for my safety. But I actually trust you, funny isent it?"

>>9867016
I don't think so. I think that perhaps she WAS a girl like Sam at one point and it is awakening bad feelings and memories.

someone thinks that we should be more direct with Alicia?

>>9867016
Or. OR. Alicia used to be very much like Sam, and has some amount of self-loathing resulting from the (assumed) betrayal Max dealt her. She doesn't like Sam because she sees all the personality traits she despised in herself (I think the psychological term is projection).

Or, y'know, I could be totally over-analyzing the poorly-veiled fap-fiction. Whichever, really.

>>9867094
Yeah, let's head down with just us and Alicia. We can tell Jehanne later that we didn't take her because didn't want her hurt/she seemed against it/some other bullshit.

>>9867081
>>9867075
>>9867064

>Affection 6
>Alicia's Affection Check: Secret

"Look, I'm just trying to. . . why don't you just spit it out? I mean, I want to keep you safe, but I can't do anything about something you won't tell me about. . . "

"Then DON'T!" Alicia snaps. "You think things are really that easy?"

You wind up frozen, balls-deep inside your catgirl, as Alicia walks over to you and gets right in your face, seemingly unconcerned that you're in the middle of butt-sexxing her former familiar right in front of you. "This. . . this is what I HATE about you. . ." she seethes. "The fact that you seem to think that. . . that. . . TALKING about everything will solve it. Or the fact that you think that you can solve EVERYTHING just because you're you. Well, here it is. Some problems, you can't solve. Sometimes, it's not about YOU. So why don't you finish up what you're doing while I put the breakfast dishes back in the kitchen to get washed up, all right? Because the more I'm here talking with you about this, the angrier I get."

And with that, she picks up the breakfast dishes and walks out, slamming the door behind her. You hear her stomping down the hallway and down the stairs as she takes the dishes back to the kitchen.

>>9867167

Agreed. We should follow Alicia's advice on this. We need her to realize that we want to trust her and her judgment.

>>9867177
>So why don't you finish up what you're doing
>frozen, balls-deep inside your catgirl
Well, this seems like solid advice.

>>9867177
Well that ended poorly. Finish on up and get ready to head into hell.

>>9867216
try to make it good for felicia, also cuddles till alicia gets back

>>9867177
bleh. Fine then. Let's finish up Felicia and go handle this situation. I'm sure plot development will give us a chance to act in a way more favorable than any more talking out problems.

Although I'm very surprised at getting called out for not being able to solve this by being us. Aren't we the main character? Bravo GM.

>>9867216
>>9867212

> Saving throw against boner-loss: 4+ on 1d6

rolled 6 = 6

>>9867246
I'm assuming you want us to roll on that.

>>9867177
>Some problems, you can't solve.
Shout after her: "Especially not if you don't even try and are content with just wallowing in self pity about them!"

>>9867177
Hmmm.

Seems that being in love again, even if via magic, has awakened some serious issues from the past.

Show Felicia the full extent of what we have learned, since this couldn't have been the most pleasant experience for her thus far. Then get ready to go solo with Alicia, grab a shotgun and our .38.

>>9867177
Hug her, just hug her. Tell her you are sorry and you will stop bothering her about it. Tell her that if she does want to talk to you about it she can do it when she is ready. Smile at her and thank her for the breakfast.

>>9867281
That would probably work if we weren't balls deep in a catgirl.

>>9867177
Leave Felicia, and find Alice.
Apologize, then...
"I talk just so I know what to do. I'm going to hell itself for you, helping you gain back your power. I'm taking your advice, and not following my own instinct.

I may a talk a lot, but talking isn't the end goal. I do, and I'll help with actions."

Finish up, we can talk all we want with her when we are on our mission.

>>9867243
Bullshit. We are us, and we are world class in two things and soon more. We have alien technology, have gone to other universes, and have won the hearts of no less than five sentient beings including: a demon, a paladin, a highly trained combat maid, a trap, and a catgirl.

If we can't solve it then it can't be solved.

Even then, we have a chance to do something about it to make it solvable.

All right, ignore that last post, doing a retcon while I take a poll.

Continue with Felicia, or abort? If you want to continue, you can.

>>9867177
Okay, we've got her talking a bit, even if it's about how much she hates us. That's good. The angrier she gets, the more it wraps around when we trigger the deredere side.

Let's prep for a solo adventure with Alicia, but let someone else in the house know what's going on. If we get betrayed or something bad happens, they can be ready to mount a rescue operation.

>>9867319
Abort.
Get good terms with Alicia.

fuck it, we're this far in we might as well.

then grab some guns. shotgun wouldn't be bad, although if we can manage a machine gun or something that'll probably be preferable.

>>9867319

we are going to hell... of course we should have a nice last fuck

>>9867319
abort

we can fuck the cat whenever, need to build actual interesting relationship with demonbitch

so far most stuff has been. . . . topical, and there's nothing wrong with that but whatever this is sounds interesting

>>9867319
Continue. We can speak to Alicia after she's calmed down a bit. Besides, Felicia has feelings too.

Do lots of rubbing; make her feel good.

>>9867319
continue

>>9867319
I say continue and try to make Felicia enjoy it. While I do want to talk with Alicia more, she's pissed at the moment and probably wouldn't respond well, and we'll have another chance to chat her up on our trip to hell.

>>9867319
Abort, we can make it up to her later but right mow we have a good chance to get some development with Alicia.

>>9867319
continue, talk during mission

>>9867356
>>9867342
>>9867325
Samefag?

>>9867366
Doubtful.

>>9867366

I'm
>>9867342
and none of the others, so, no

>>9867366
Nope, as one of those I can assure you I'm a different homosexual.

Always finish what you start, and soothe the person who suffered from the wrath you incurred even if it means takign extra time to do so.

Alicia is mad enough that going after her immediately will only antagonize her further. She can wait; if she thinks we can't do anything about the situation, the only way to prove her wrong is to prove her wrong. However, she should pay a price for interfering with Felicia's playtime when she was the one who encouraged it to happen.

I'm gonna have to go with abort. Some things are important.

>>9867366
As >>9867325, I can tell you I have samefagged a bit, but this is actually not one of these cases.

Also, I'll only do two posts, not three.

>>9867319
Leave latest post intact, continue with Felicia.

Let Alicia blow off some steam.

anons, i know this is a game... but you should think like the character.
why nobody seems to be worried about the hell trip?

>>9867404
we've never actually come close to losing a fight for 1

for another, shotguns loli demons and why the hell not?

>>9867404
its not like we've never been there before

Votes are:

Abort 3
Continue 6

In the interests of ending at a slightly reasonable (yeah right) time for those people who have finals. . .

-----
Although you're feeling subdued and slightly chastened by Alicia's outburst, you've got a job to do. . . and you do it. Maybe your thrusting isn't as vigorous as it could be, and maybe you don't last as long as usual, but in the end, Felicia seems to appreciate your efforts, and she does give you a sympathetic kiss on the nose when it's all over and she's sprawled out on the bed with cum leaking from her pooper.

"Want to come with us?" you ask, as you cuddle up with her in bed afterwards (it seems the least you could do, given how patient your catgirl is). "I mean. . ."

Felicia shakes her head. "Myu," she says, and she gives you a poke on the nose, then another kiss, before heading over to the bookshelf to go back into the secret passageway and head back to her room. You lay on the bed for a while staring up at the ceiling, reflecting on the situation.

>>9867404
We've been there before. WITHOUT weapons. We did okay.

>>9867404
What?
Also, we beat one of the leaders of hell before. Naked.

We will be fine.

>>9867404
been there, done that

>>9867404
Among other things we've got a demon and guns(hell, it's possible we're gonna be packing DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLES -- unlikely but possible)

>>9867422
Kiss Felicia before she leaves.

Sigh. Curse the world.

Then get up and take a shower.

>>9867424
>>9867421
>>9867420

i'm just saying that we are too self confident

>>9867449

That's pretty much our MO, you realize.

Tell Reginald to prepare us for hell, literally. Ask him and Jehanne to check on the handbasket should things go terribad, between them there should be enough hell and combat knowledge

>>9867449
We just know we're going to get utterly fucked over. So why not just wait calmly for the drop of the other shoe.

>>9867449
Getting through things we have no right to get through by using our supreme confidence, luck, and relying on our maids is how we operate.

>>9867457

Eeeeehhh. No. Alicia's pissed, she doesn't like those two, and having them go over and second-guess her ritual is just going to make matters worse.

>>9867476
agree

Moving on. . .

After Felicia leaves, you take a moment to take a shower, get dressed, and then GET TACTICAL.

You've finished dressing up like some Mall Ninja Swat Team Reject by the time that Alicia knocks on the door. When you open it, you get a bit of a surprise.

For one, she's not wearing the white sundress she was earlier. She's dressed a bit more like. . . well, take a look at the sidebar pic, but far more loli.

And yes, she does have horns, wings, and a tail now. It seems that blue and black are her colors.

If she notices you noticing her sudden change of costume, she doesn't seem to care, but heads over to the magic circle on the ground and gives you a glance over the shoulder. "Well?" she asks. "Are you coming?"

>>9867476
Agreed. Give Felicia a kiss, skidaddle to hell. To much time awastin', and it's only pissing our tsun-tsun succubus off.

>>9867499
third

>>9867476
compromise then. have them on standby should we need them, but only if we're about to get our asses kicked.

>>9867457
Naw, the main reason we're going back to hell is to fix our colossal fuck up with Kat, we'll need to do this with as little help as possible.

Kiss catgirl before she leaves.
Take a shower and get dressed.
Grab a pistol and shotgun, and plenty of ammo.
Also a CCW.

Ask paladin if she can give us a blessing or something to help us out.

>>9867500

Let's do this thing.

>>9867500
"A bit prematurely."

>>9867515
If paladins draw demons like ants to sugar than a paladin blessing will too.

Probably better to go as our corrupted perverted asshole self. We'll blend in.

>>9867500
double check to be sure you brought her phylactory

if so, climb aboard

>>9867528
haha, this

>>9867500

>"Then Let's"
>Put on sunglasses
>"Go to hell"

>>9867500
... So she looks like Etna? Hot damn.

"Yes..."

Dramatic gun cock.

"Let's go."

>>9867528
I confess, I laughed.

>>9867500

Did we make sure to bring Silver buckshot as well as normal, slugs, and FRAG-12 for our AA-12?

>>9867528
This, got to fulfill our quota of horrible puns.

>>9867515
herp derp slowpoke

Say, "Can't we save that til after we are done with this mission?"

>>9867533
>>9867528
>>9867522

"A bit prematurely," you quip.

Expecting another lashing sting or sardonic snap, you instead get a look of true mortification on Alicia's face, and in a small voice, she says, "You're right. I'm sorry. It wasn't fair what I did to Felicia. You two deserved to have your time together without me being a bitch."

". . . apology accepted," you say, but your spider sense is now tingling.

>>9867500
I didn't ever think cover pics would see use in my life

ok, then we are ready and the girl is no waiting
give a deep sigh and go on like a man
(and pray a bit cause we are going down)

>>9867530

The cosmology is going to have a total bitch of a time figuring out whether to send us to heaven or hell when we die, considering we alternate between pervert bastard and white knight almost form minute to minute.

>>9867563
No, take that back.
Don't say apology accepted, instead apologize in return.

>>9867563

Give her a quick hug.
"When you're ready."

>>9867563
retract apology accepted

"and I'm sorry for pushing the issue. I want to be sure that you understand that whether it's talking or something else I at least want to know if I can help, but I won't bring it up again if you don't want me to."

>>9867592
this

>>9867563
This.

This is not good.

All senses on high alert. Spot checks every ten meters. Roll to disbelieve every twenty.

>>9867563
>You're right. I'm sorry.
Take a moment to scoop our jaw up from the floor.
Did she just apologoze?

>>9867563

DOUBLE CHECK THE FOLLOWING -
AA-12 - Condition 1, full combat load with buckshot drum mag.
BA VEST - Full ammo load(Buckshot, slugs, FRAG-12, AND Silver)
K-pot
Phylactery is safe.
Sidearm available and loaded. Spare mags accessible.
ASS CANNON is READY.
Sword/Knife is still there.

>>9867606
Stop pointless talking, it's pissing her off. Our newly amazing Athletics checks will do the talking for us as we fight demons in HELL.

>>9867606
Well, let's head down with her for some alonetime. Guard up in every direction, however.

GO INTO HELL while we actually have her soft side with us

>>9867574

>>9867606

??
retcon incoming?

>>9867644
I'm not sure if we actually DO have her soft side right now.

Or if it exists.

Do we have our Magician Costume ready to put on?

Seems it would be nice to have magical abilities in hell.

>>9867605
>>9867581

Retracted. . .

". . . I'm sorry too," you say. "I shouldn't be so pushy all the time. It's just that. . ."

"Shut up and get in the circle," Alicia says. "And put one foot in the picnic basket."

Feeling a bit like an idiot, and more than a little miffed that Alicia won't let you apologize, you walk into the magic circle and put one foot into the wicker basket. Alicia closes her eyes and waves her hands around, reciting some magic words. A burst of flame appears around you, all along the chalk-drawn symbols, although the flames don't seem to scorch the wooden floor, or anything else they touch.

"Just one thing," Alicia says. "Promise me that if I tell you to do something, you'll do it right away, no questions. Hell is not a safe place. . . and you made me sign a damn pledge to keep you safe."

>>9867631
>>9867668
Yup and yup.

>>9867577
We troll. Even the god damned otherworld. It's how we roll.

>>9867669

Understood.

Once we're in hell, 360 scan of the area, make damn well sure the perimeter is secure.

>>9867669
"... I promise.

I trust you, Alicia."

>>9867669
Agree. Without qualifying or getting into some conversation or banter. Let's avoid pissing her off more.

>>9867669
hastily agree.

the LAST thing we need is for her to renege on the contract and let us die here.

>>9867669
As long as it doesn't get either one of us killed.

>>9867702
I'm like 99% certain we didn't make a contract that she has the freedom to rip to shreds at any point.

We had lawyers... and we're not that stupid are we?

>>9867696

Seconded.

>>9867696
thirded.

>>9867725
if we die, the contract is null since she won't have a master to answer to. so if she reneges on the contract and we die, she's off the hook.

the only way she gets ass-fucked is if she reneges and we manage to survive anyway.

>>9867696
This anon is a god among men.

>>9867702
>>9867699
>>9867696
>>9867713
>>9867725
>>9867727

"All right," you say. "I trust you."

Alicia blinks at that. . . and then, without another word, she snaps her fingers.

You're not sure whether it's that you're getting smaller, or the basket is getting HUEG, but suddenly, you're sitting inside the empty basket, and you're looking out above the edge of the loose wicker weave at your bedroom. You're trying to wrap your head around the weird distortions of perspective, and then there is a whoosh of wind, a burst of black light, and a stomach-churning tumbling sensation. . .

And then you're falling into darkness. There is the scent of sulfur and fire all around, and you are descending from on high into a deep chasm leading down into eternity. All around you are the screaming damned, and the leathery wingbeats of demons flying to and fro. . . none of them seem to pay you any mind as you descend through the clouds like Calvin and Hobbes in a cardboard box, some twisted fiendish amalgam of Bill Watterson and Heironymous Bosch. . .

>>9867765

I think the contract is powerful enough that she isn't physically capable of violating the contract. If she was a lot stronger, maybe, but not right now.

>>9867799

"They should put something like this in at disneyland"

>>9867799
We're on an express elevator to hell. Wooooooo!

>>9867799
Watch hallucinations absentmindedly, as if they're really not a big deal.

It's not like we're going to hell or anything.

>>9867874
oh, wait...

>>9867799
the fact that you realized the paralells to C&H makes you a god among DM's.

also

OONST OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST OONST

>>9867830
+5 Xp for Aliens Reference. Total is now 15.
-----
>>9867870
"They should put in a ride like this at Disneyland," you absently say, as a screaming soul floats by, being disemboweled by a demon with a rusty flensing knife.

"I've never been to Disneyland," Alicia admits.

>>9867870
Hang on, we're in for some chop.

>>9867929
wanna go when we get back?

>>9867929
"Well it might make a fun trip then. Course with the lines now it might be a little too familar to you."

>>9867929

"Really? We should plan a trip there, then. It's not like we'll have a money shortage in the future, at any rate."

>>9867929

Everyone should go at least once, we'll go when we get back.

>>9867963

It's like the Mecca Pilgrimage for captialists.

"Well, now we know where we're going after this."

>>9867963
>>9867961
>>9867960
>>9867947

"We should go when we get back," you say.

"I'd like that," Alicia replies, smiling.

>>9867986

Excellent. =D

>>9867986
>"We should go when we get back," you say.

>"I'd like that," Alicia replies, smiling.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

We just signed ours or Alicia's death warrant. No one says a line like that and lives! It's like saying, "I've only got one more week on the force until I retire." You just know something's gonna go down.

>>9867986
Victory.
>>9868021
I have the opposite sense, but I'm an optimist.

Damn, I sleep now.

Whatever you do, demon loli is our maid, and we can lol troll hell itself while we fight, use that fucking cunning

>>9868023
It seems to take a long time for the handbasket to descend to its destination, but in practice, it can't have been longer than an hour or two. . . in any case, you soon land none-too gently in the ruins of what used to be Alicia's tower.

"I thought it would be bigger," you say."The ruins, that is."

"It was," Alicia points out. "But it was mostly made up of damned souls fucking all the time. Remember that? So when it collapsed, all the demons stole them. So yeah, all that's left are the bricks and mortar. What little of it I used."

She walks through the blasted ruins under the eldritch sky, sifting through the rubble a bit forlornly, looking like a refugee from a war-torn country, or a disaster area, searching for some lost trinket in the ruins of her former life.

>>9868077
EYES SHARP

>>9868077

Don't watch HER, watch the GODDAMN PERIMETER. Check for movement and flashes off reflective objects. Keep AA-12 in low/ready.

>>9868037
and that's why we do everything in our power to make sure we both come home safe

in fact, as a start to that

"alicia, no matter what happens i order you to do your best to make sure we BOTH get home safe, even if it means failing the mission"

>>9868077
>She walks through the blasted ruins under the eldritch sky, sifting through the rubble a bit forlornly, looking like a refugee from a war-torn country

Well, you just triggered my hug instinct.
I'd suggest hugging her, and holding her politely while saying "I'm sorry."

Eyes and ears, people, eyes and ears.

>>9868108
Don't, it would be the perfect chance for anything that might lurk nearby to jump on both of us in one fell swoop.

>>9868108
Good idea.

Fuckawful timing.

>>9868077
>>9868095
Check our surroundings. In keeping with the Aliens reference, Stay Frosty.

>>9868104
Just make it an order for her to make sure we both get back safely.

>She walks through the blasted ruins under the eldritch sky, sifting through the rubble a bit forlornly, looking like a refugee from a war-torn country, or a disaster area, searching for some lost trinket in the ruins of her former life.
...pic related.

>>9868130
Bonding opportunity.

>>9868077
Keep an eye on the basket, since I presume we'll be going back in that.

So. . . do you want to focus on the bonding opportunity, or watch the perimeter?

>>9868166
just a brief perimeter glance while walking up towards her

>>9868166
Perimeter.

>>9868166

As much as I'd LOVE to bond, we're in HELL. Watch the perimeter, otherwise we're gonna end up the mother of all clusterfucks.

>>9868166
Bonding, we don't have a ton of chances for that.

Last I heard you could keep watch and talk at the same time.

>>9868166
Check perimeter, then move in for hug, then check again.

>>9868166
Watch the perimeter. If we manage to pick something off that goes for Alicia we can be badass AND have some bonding afterwards.

>>9868166
We should be able to do both. We're the goddamn Protagonist.

>>9868166
Let's try and do both, leaning towards the bonding.

Watch the perimeter.

Do both.
We're not some kind of eyes-closed-because-I'm-hugging retard.

>>9868267
In that case, if she objects, say something about being able to watch from both sides and reduce how much of us is exposed. Then hug her tighter.

I believe we may have started autosaging

Although it's hard, you manage to tear your eyes away from Alicia and keep an eye on the perimeter. It's a bit hard, because it's hell, and hell is filled with demons, but like the early borg, they don't seem to pay attention to you unless there's a need to.

"Are you okay?" you ask, after a bit, once you're satisfied that you're not about to be jumped by horrible demons. "I mean, this is. . ."

"I don't really want to hear that from the person who caused this in the first place," Alicia points out.

"Fair enough."

"I think I've found it. . . yeah, here it is," Alicia says. She brushes aside some of the rubble, revealing a flagstone slightly different from the others. She touches a rune carved into it, nearly covered in dust, and says a magic word.

The stone glows and slides aside, revealing a passage downwards into darkness. . .

>>9868322

Let her take point, we'll cover our six.

>>9868322
Still voting for an "I'm sorry."

>>9868344
But we're not sorry. We'd do it all again, if we had the option to undo it. Had to be done at the time.

>>9868344
Why should we be? It's not our fault she bit off more that she could chew.

>>9868311
>>9868309

>>9868374

>>9868361
Yes, I would do it again, because there was no alternative. However, that doesn't mean it was nice.
>>9868372
So do a lot of things, but if you destroy them utterly, there is an emotion called remorse that often fits.

And besides, we're trying to get on goods terms here, and those are some high-emotion words, heartfelt or not.