>He was beaten by teddy bears with sticks and stones

>>9825000
Those were just scout troopers, they hadn't received the jeanseed yet

All my friends died that day. I was on leave. I haven't slept in months; every time I close my eyes, I see their faces. If I was there, maybe I could have changed something.

i'm from alderaan

eat a dick

I was held back a year at the Academy, because I failed Accident Avoidance 305. If I'd passed, I'd have been on the Death Star with all 3,552 of my friends and comrades in what should have been my graduating class.

I should have been there.

It should have been me.

I... I was just a day laborer, moving and unloading the shuttles that went up there and helping out all those fresh-faced recruits that were drafted into the army. They payed me well and so my family could survive. With it gone... I can't feed my children anymore. We lost so many jobs when the Death Star blew up. Damn those Rebels, DAMN THEM! Friggin' Insurgents.

It was 27 years ago man! Unless you're talking about the first one, in which case it was 33 years ago.

Let it go man. Let it go.

>>9825000
Fun thing to consider about those teddy bears.

They were gonna eat Luke.

Notice how they're using Stormtrooper helmets for drums?

Luke takes another bite and grins, knowing that if he says a word, he's next...

>>9825044
>>9825028
Stop blaming yourselves. You're experiencing survivor's guilt. It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.

Those were the droids I was looking for.
I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry.

>>9825104
/thread.

>>9825104
It's okay. You're just one man. Those Jedi, they do... things. They make you forget. You couldn't have done anything else.

>>9825082
It's just that I was going into Turbolaser Targetting with an emphasis on Fighter Defense. All my instructors said I could have hit a Tach from orbit with a hand blaster.

If I'd been there...A million souls, man. A million souls and if I'd been there...I've run the simulations. Every time, I save the Star.

I could have saved them...

>>9825150
That kind of mind control is exactly why the Emperor had to take them out.

Imagine hundreds of those terrorists running around, man. I mean, even if they could just control minds...but they can do other stuff, too.

I mean, I've got a friend who served on the Executor. The stories he tells when he gets drunk...

Anyone that served the Empire deserved the death they got.

I still remember where I was the day the Death Star was destroyed. I was patrolling on Byss, as usual. Then I hear over my comlink that it's been obliterated. My brother was on there.

>>9825183
You've gotta remember, man. They had Jedi. Like >>9825150 said, they do...things. Even with your accuracy, they would've made you miss.

>>9825252
Me, I was interrogating some Rebel scum. Someone rushed in and told me. Next thing I knew, I was beating the Reb's brains into the tiles. I'm still on psychiatric leave.

>>9825240
>Just because some Imperial activities might hurt some nonhumans, all Imperials deserve to die.

Man, that's exactly the kind of crap the Separatists were saying back in my Dad's day.

...I saw a Rodian raise a gun to a smuggler in a bar

The smuggler shot him in retaliation

Why would they do that? The galaxy is a terrible place...

>>9825240
Go suck Thrawn's dick.

>>9825352
What are you talking about? That Rodian shot at him first!

>>9825366
>>9825352
Guys, guys. We're all good Imperial subjects here. Let's agree that both of them are assholes.

Half the people I had ever gotten close to and known were on the Death Star when it was destroyed. I was going to be serving as a guard for some detainees on the station, but due to a random mix-up with the flight plans, I ended up serving in the ground assault at Endor.

Those fucking bears. I still hear their shrieks at night. The faces of my friends torment me in my sleep. I should've died with them... I... I wish those fucking bears had just killed me there on Endor.

>>9825366

As much as I want to sympathize with the people who died in the Death Star's destruction, it's difficult to do so when it was meant to destroy entire planets. It was already used to destroy Alderaan, which had several billion people on it, and I don't think it would have been the last.

>>9825352
I know what you mean.

I was part of a team sent to shut down some Tibanna smuggling on Bespin.

Before I knew it, a bunch of Rebels with a Jedi in tow stormed the place, shot dozens of our people, and set a goddamn Wookiee loose. I heard they kidnapped the administrator, too.

Blando or something.

Poor guy.

My life for the Empire!

Everyone I've ever known died that day. And Hoth. Fucking Hoth. Those speeders destroyed the AT-AT I was in. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm not so lucky that I broke my spine and was burned over 75% of my body.

The Imperials deserved to die. The real tragedy is the contracted labor. Should a man die just for trying to give his family a living?

It was... it was the voices, man! The voice in my head! It wouldn't let me stop! I had to... Don't you SEE?! I had to do it.
Just like Baker's Canyon. I had to do it. Just like back home.

...So many deaths...

>>9825366
>That Rodian shot at him first!

I actually have a friend who claims to be a diehard Star Wars fan, yet has never seen the original version of 4, 5, and 6.

He doesn't believe that Han shot first. Sometimes I try to troll him by saying Han shot first, but he counters by "forgetting" that I explained it to him already.

>>9825415
Yeah, as if Alderaan wasn't well-known as a serious Rebel base. I mean, sure, the remaining Alderaanians go on about being a peaceful people without weapons, but have you ever looked at the specs for one of their freighters?

Those fucking things can fight off a Star Destroyer for like, 20 minutes. They call the things "Blockade Runners" for fuck's sake.

Are you going to look me in the eye and say a million loyal Imperials deserved to die because a bunch of Headphone-Heads lost their weapons depot planet? HUH?

YOU THINK SOME FUCKING ALDERAANIAN IS WORTH MY FUCKING COUSIN'S LIFE?!

The Emperor was power mad, if damn near any of the moffs had taken control the empire would have seen some semblance of reason and been an effective peacekeeping force.

>>9825502

Yes, yes, I do.

1 to 1 ratio.

>>9825502
Its quite reasonable to attack enemy territory. On the other hand, corvettes are made by corellians.

Why were those rebels fighting to restore the republic? The thing was a corrupt, beurocratic clusterfuck under the control of the major corporations. I mean the trade federation invades a planet and what did the senate do? Ask for a committee. And when all the corporations didn't get their way, how did they act? By dragging the galaxy to war. Fuck the republic. And fuck those Jedi as well. How many wars has the galaxy had to deal with over those fanatics having a disagreement with some sith assholes?

Sun Crusher.

>>9824964
Death Star crew complement total: 1,179,293

Alderaan population total: 1,097,000,000

Fuck you, asshole.

I had just got my zero-G assault training and was en-route when it happened. Maybe I could have changed something. That what we were there for.

>>9825507
You mean like Grand Moff Tarkin, the guy who invented the Death Star?

He seems REAL STABLE. The only guy with the balls and gusto needed to hold the empire together with the Emperor dead was fucking Pellaeon, who is forever a badass.

>>9825567
Nearly 1 imperial dead for every 1000 rebel traitors dead. Very nice.

>>9825485
>I actually have a friend who claims to be a diehard Star Wars fan, yet has never seen the original version of 4, 5, and 6.
a single tear rolls down my cheek

>>9825502
There were two billion people on the planet. Do you really think that all of them were involved with the rebellion? Or that all of those lives were worthless? The Death Star was a terrible idea and should never have been made. It was only one of many terrible things about the war that forced good people to kill each other.

>>9825557
The New Republic was even worse. I was so happy when Thrawn came to power.

I could really use a bounty hunter now

>>9825587
Guys, let's not get into this again.

That's all they think of us, you know? These young mercenary hotshots. They just see old men squabbling about lost battles. By the Force, if they could have seen us in our prime...

>>9825615
Plus the taxes. How much money do think it took to make one of those things, much less two?

How many programs got cut to fund that waste of space?

>>9825523
>>9825538
FUCK YOU, MAN!

It's that kind of rebel sympathysing shit that keeps us from sending a goddamn World Devastator to Sullust right now and wiping out those rebel scum right fucking now.

Galaxy Gun

The only good thing about Alderaan being destroyed is that there was probably some Imperial troops there at the time.

I wish I could bring Vader back to life so that I could kill him again, slowly. And then again. He can never die too many times.

>>9825621
And then some asshole kills him. The one chance to stabilize the galaxy and get things in order before those vong nutjobs arrive and someone kills him.

Never give up! I didn't cut and run like some of you spineless traitors, I joined up with the nearest Imperial remnant holding

THE EMPIRE IS FOREVER

>>9825675
Don't talk that way about our commander! Vader might have been a little impersonal, but he was a great man! If he wasn't good enough to win the war, then nobody was!

Damnit! Vader was a damn war hero! He brought down the damn jedi those fanatics continuously brought the fucking galaxy into war.

>>9825621
Every time I go to a bar where I know some former rebel terrorists hang out I always ask them how they like living in the new republic they helped create. Not a single one of them has ever said a thing back to me.

>>9825715
>>9825710
THEN HE BETRAYED THE EMPIRE AND ALL HE'D WORKED FOR FOR SOME WHINY SNOT-NOSED KID! I WISH I COULD KILL VADER A MILLION TIMES AS HORRIBLY AS POSSIBLE.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9824964/

Archive'd

>>9825766
You weren't there! NOBODY WAS THERE! That's lies, damn it! Lies and slander! Those damn rebels weren't content with just beating us, they had to ruin our greatest hero too. Ignore the rebel propaganda! Remember Vader as he truly was!

>>9825389
I mean, I'm as proud an imperial subject as anyone but...it's just too damn bad that Tarkin was on the thing when it blew, because he deserved to be court martialed an executed for the shit he pulled.

>>9825766
That's a lie! Vader was seen being viciously killed by is supposed son by removing his rebreather! Who would do that! All these goddamn rebels are barbaric fuckers and need to die for what they've done to the Empire.

>>9825766
There's not a shred of evidence for that except the word of some Jedi Rebel Witchdoctor.

By all accounts from the Imperial Guard, Vader defended the Emperor from a goddamn lightsaber assassination attempt mere minutes before the place went critical.

He was goddamn hero, and I refuse to accept these lies that he was that Skywalker fuck's father.

>>9825502
those are CORELLIAN corvettes, troll

>>9825710
Then why do Vader's subordinates tend to mysteriously disappear?

>>9825615
>>9825567
>>9825565
>>9825538
>>9825523

>>9825872
All of those "mysterious disappearance" were actually documented Rebels. Each one was a traitor!

Someone post the Wall!

The Death Star was an inside job. I guess Vader just HAPPENED to be in his TIE at the time and the Emperor just HAPPENED to not be there. It was all a hoax to make the Rebels look bad.

>>9825872
The man was intense, I'll give you that, but name one person more devoted to the Cause.

I hear he personally executed dozens of Jedi Traitors in their filthy Temple.

>>9825878

DAMMIT I FORGOT TO NAMEFAG FOR THE 1 to 1 RATIO.

Non-roleplay post:

Do we ever actually see any examples of the Empire oppressing people? I mean sure, Palpy says something like "I have abolished the Senate" but who gives a shit? Do you really think the occupants of the Empire's planets ever saw any benefit from the actions of their Senator? I KNOW they didn't in the Old Republic.

>>9825894

LORD VADER WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED IF NOT FOR THE SUPERIOR ARMOR OF HIS TIE FIGHTER. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, SUKA!

>>9825905
The Empire was the best thing to happen to the galaxy. Period.

>>9825905
Go find anything involving the Noghri.

>>9825905
The biggest stuff is the documented Humans First policy, not that that would bother your average /tg/ HUMANITY FUCK YEAH fag.

>>9825897
Yeah? Well, I heard the Jedi were trained from childhood in their temple.

>>9825905
The EU is ridden with the Empire oppressing people. That said, I agree that the Senate was probably fucking useless, but so is the one in the US. Heads would still roll if Obama somehow abolished the Senate.

>>9825927
I have. If anything they seem to really like Vader at least.

>>9825947
Man, I heard more than that. Those sick Jedi fucks deserved to die.

>>9825947
So they brainwashed kids?

Is that what you're saying?

Sounds like that cult needed to be shut down. Fucking kidnappers.

>>9825013

>jeanseed

don't you mean Geneseed :v

>>9825894
It's true. The ISB had the faulty exhaust port installed, then leaked the schematics to the rebels. It's all a conspiracy, man.

Oops, shit, dropped my deathstick...

>>9825905
I'm actually trying to think of something but I'm drawing a blank. I know something from the expanded universe has an example.

Though I'm certain that this entire post has made my argument look like a joke.

But seriously how many wars has the galaxy had to deal with because of the sith and jedi? You'd think that sooner or later someone would get tired of being used as a pawn and start researching a way to kill off both for good.

I was on Dewback patrol on Tatooine at the time. X'hasa, my dewback, is dead now, but she got to kill a lot of Rebels. I made sure of it.

>>9825936
I'll give you that, but Thrawn's very existence is testament to the fact that the Empire still had a measure of a meritocracy in place.

>>9825974
The Conspiracy nuts would have you believe that the Emperor was a Sith Lord, but don't believe that shit. The Emperor converted the last Sith (Vader) to his cause and did his damnedest to exterminate all those Separatist Jedi.

What a man.

>>9826014

pretty sure that people would know that the Emps was there as a Sithi Poo.

>>9825960
>>9825965
And where are these presumably brainwashed children now? While the Empire was around, only two Jedi were known to exist. One was already an old man, and the other wasn't even from the temple.

I was a Field Trooper back then. The one time my men needed me, I wasn't there. Stupid! Useless!

>>9825954
Did you also read what the empire did to their people? And, more specifically, to their planet?

>>9826014
Actually I was being serious in a non roleplay post. I really do wonder why people still put up with all the shit the Jedi and sith cause.

>>9825984
Which is why Thrawn, having won his position, was sent off into the fucking distance where he wouldn't trouble proper, human Imperial Admirals.

Fucking speciesists. I just wanted to serve my Empire, but you can't go anywhere as a Kel Dor in this galaxy unless you know somebody.

I told them to fix that god damn exhaust pipe... it cost the life of my brother..... God damn Rebel scum

>>9826030
Order 66. My father was one of the clone troopers there. It needed to be done and they should be commended for it.

Sith Lords?

Those guys from the legends who sucked the life out of whole planets and ripped stars apart with only their minds?

I'm pretty sure if the Emperor was one of those, that whole "Rebellion" thing would have ended differently.

>>9825974
See that's the thing, even if you kill all of them off, force powers are a natural talent of almost all organisms in the Star Wars universe. It's like trying to kill off people who have a knack for planning military operations in our world. Might make wars less likely, but you can't get rid of an inborn talent.

>>9826048
The New Empire accepted many aliens. What about that? And how about the damn T'Syriél?

>>9826029
Actually, the established policy in EU is that Palps was only known as a Sith by the folks who were involved in his personal business...specifically, his Imperial Guard, Vader, and a few trusted advisors.

A few Moffs had suspicions, but the Empire at large was completely unaware.

The Rebellion, of course, was founded by a bunch of people who knew, so it was more well-understood there.

>>9826042

The same reason why people put up with other religious nuts: they have the power.

In Star Wars they have literal power.

>>9825502
The ship was Corellian just so you know, hell most imperial senators were probably in better ships.

>>9826066
You're the son of a clone?! They were even more of an abomination than the damned Jedi!

>>9826078
Except that it's accepted to be a genetic trait.

If you kill off all the Force-users in a couple of generations, you kill off the gene.

Listen guys, I love the Empire, and I'm grateful to the Emperor for getting rid of that shithole we called the Republic but let's not deny that the guy did approve of all those superweapons that proved to be a massive waste of everything. It would have been better if the Empire used all those resources and money for more productive purposes.

>>9826095
The New Empire is awesome. Emperor Fel is a hero, and let's not even get into Admiral Pellaeon.

I was Vader's umpteenth secret apprentice, and yet another one who had the ability to outpace the Emperor in power. NOW I HAVE NOTHING. ONLY EXTREME UNTUTORED FORCE STRENGTH AND THIS RED LIGHTSABER THAT PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO KILL ME FOR.

What should I do with my life?

>>9826153
And let's also not forget that those white lightsabers the Imperial Knights use are sexy as fuck.

I was just an ISB man.
Kell...
Kell brought his family to see the station he was working in. Oh Force, I was in the last escape pod when I saw them. That girl's crying face still haunts me.

RRRRRGGGggGGHHRRrllll RRrrrRRRrrRRRRRRRRRRRRR rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRR!

>>9826189
OH SHIT HE'S GONE MAD! SOMEONE TASE HIM!

>>9826128
And you call the Empire bigots.

>>9826165
lol, gotta love the Star Wars EU.

>>9825905
These guys.
>>9825240


Ok Slavery for many non-vital non-human species.
Lots of death camp type things too.

There is no greater sacrifice.

Never forget.

>>9826211
There's a difference between "The EU" and "The EU George Lucas approves of."

>>9826189
No, I dont think it's your smell. People ignore your posts out of ignorance. Post casually.

...

>>9826189
Don't make me drop another fucking moon on you.

>>9826234
No, there is no difference. Both are complete shit with only a few good gems.

>>9826234
Lucas is on record as saying that the EU is a parallel universe.

In his mind, none of that is real. No Mandalorians, no Sith Empires, no Massasi temples or Noghri.

Just what is specifically shown in the movies.

I was a jumptrooper on the Death Star. People were screaming for help, people that I knew, that I'd laughed with, drank with. And I just... I just frew away. Every day, that blaster pistol looks better and better. Better and better.
Tell them I'm sorry. Tell them I wish I could take it back.

a..aliens? in my empire?

I was a janitor on the Death Star. Those plans? That Bothan? I don't regret it. He gave me a good price.

>>9826271
Lucas is also on record for saying "Midi-Chlorians." He lost all cred after that.

>>9826271
Also known as "Shit" or "Movies he was unhappy with because they were turned around by way better writers."

>>9826298
>>9826301
I'm just saying, man.

The entire thing is his property, legally speaking.

>>9826322
Legally speaking, the moon belongs to the united nations. Are we going to let those fucks have all that delicious helium-3?

>>9826297
I will find you and end you. That is my vow. I was a commando in the 808th and you are a dead man.

>>9826165
Wait. So not only did I LOSE EVERYTHING, but I never really existed?

Well shit. I'm going to go throw some star destroyers at kindergarteners then.

The only thing the Imperials did that ticked off a few people was, A.) Exist, B.) Made Humanity #1

Crime was down, murder was down, if you weren't a Jedi scum or harboring Jedi scum chances are most imperials would be nice to you. The Emperor wasn't racist, if he was he'd wouldn't allow the numerous aliens, droids...etc. working for him as Moffs or other officials.

Rebel alliance just wanted to go back to smuggling drugs, and getting away with anything and everything because the Republic was just as corrupt. Damn hippies.

>>9826322
We need to get somebody made a judge just so they can deny his IP next time someone has it brought to court.

Or better yet have them thrown in for rape.

>>9826297
...

...


GET HIM!

>>9826360
Emps was racist and sexist. If you had the balls you could advance, but it was an utter bastard. Other than that, it was more the constant oppression. But yes, crime and stuff was down.

>>9826360
Don't forget
C.) Build and employ weapons of mass destruction on a planetary scale, designed by a race they subjugated and brainwashed [Poor Omwati]

>>9826360
So what you're saying is, Palpatine really DID make the trains run on time.

The space trains.

Do those exist? They should.

>>9826360
Exept for the Corps that either got nationalized over nothing or had the Imps kill off natives so they could take whatever they wanted from the wreckage, and it was pretty much completely at random.

>>9826389
Ahem.

>>9826396
The Serin shuttle service.

>>9826396

Go and read Peter F Hamilton's "Pandora's Star" and "Judas Unchained". It's a two book series about a commonwealth where most transport (prior to events of the book that force them to develop spaceflight) is trains running through wormholes between worlds. Choochoo.

>>9826422
Man, did you used to play Star Wars muds too? I forget the name run by.. Trelar, I think it was? And the one prior that. Those were awesome. I played a Sith a few times. MAIM BURN KILL SLA- what? I'm roleplaying. Being a teenager was cool.

Wait, this explains so much.

That's awesome. I am in favor of space-based public transportation.

Fucking Hoth Man,

Shits Cold as fuck and will freeze your balls together, but you know what. Luckiest Posting in my carrier.

Hoth Survival Rate; 76%
Deathstar Survival Rate 0%

They tell us, their fighting for a nobel cause, but really its one master or another. Jedi , Sith, they make out their enemies, but its an Old Boy's Club and no Regular people are invited.

Don't tell me that a king or an aristocrat senator is some magical improvement over emperor. The World's going to shit and at least palpatine had the balls to try to fix something rather than watching it swirl around the hole.

>>9826360
ohacro waoowoc wohoworcrooowhwo wwoorcrrwoao aoacwo churhshhurrraaoahoowh ooww aoacwo ohooooorahwoc rawhwa scoowh oaraanrascrarcahc?! ah ohahanan oaooscwo oohoworc aoacworcwo rarcwo rcahak oowwww rooohurc rarcscc!

>>9826455
Good times.

I was the head of the Rebel Alliance and then the Kuat Drive Yards for a while.

Until some asshat started saying KDY should secede from the Empire, and the Empire killed me just in case. Fuck that guy.

Also:
Play as slicer.
trollface.jpg
Slicebank.

>>9826416
Go eat a bag of dicks...WHILE BEING EATEN BY A ROOM FULL OF BEEEEEEES!

>>9826489
What my furry friend here said is:

"Why does everyone forget the subjugation of the Wookies and Mon Calamari?! I will come over there are rip off your arms!"

Oh, my!

>>9826489
Look we told you already George doesn't like it when Chewie goes off to visit relatives.

>>9826535
This guy isn't the first. You wouldn't believe the shit I get for what amounts to being a good engineer.

>>9826549
See, that's exactly the kind of thing a Primitive would say.

Those savages can't even SPEAK Imperial Basic!

Fucking eight-foot-tall monsters. Why should we let them into our society?

As for those Catfish, I've got a Quarren friend who tells me they don't even cook their food.

>>9826587
Neither do the humans from Tokyon 9.

>>9826579
Who STILL needs to steal ideas from children.

>>9826389
Alderaan was a criminal world, it was home to the criminal Bail Organa and the rest the Organa clan. They were all rebel sympathizers.

>>9826609
They also say shit like this. Seriously, what?

>>9826271

Fuck off Darkstar

>>9826654
?

I'm just saying, this is what George Lucas says. Personally, I think it'd be awesome to do a cold boot of the whole EU. Start over from scratch, and do things differently (for example, have Leia actually realize her Force potential after Endor, like Luke said she would. She's supposed to be as strong as he is, and he promised to train her!).

I think it has the potential to be awesome.

>>9826549
I'll admit, that was pretty bad, but the Emperor himself didn't have any hand in it. Neither he nor Vader were speciesists--the Emperor chose a nohuman as one of his Grand Admirals, for crying out loud, and Vader was famous for his relations with primitive cultures like the Noghri, no matter how new Rebel propaganda has twisted their relationship.

Thrawn wasn't posted to the Far Reaches to keep him out of sight. He was BORN in the Far Reaches; it was the best place for him to defend. Especially since that was the best place for him to build up in preparation for the Vong.

I'll be if the Emperor hadn't been so distracted by the insurgency, he would have had the slavery problem dealt with in days. Tarkin was the slaver; the Emperor wasn't.

This is what makes Akbar so tragic. He turned from an honest, loyal soldier with potential into the lynchpin of Rebel tactics, and all because Tarkin took him as a slave, rather than an assistant. If Tarkin had taken him on as as assistant, instead of being a racist fucktard--or if he'd had the chance to attend Officer Academy he deserved--things could have been way different. He might have been a second Thrawn.

Instead, he became a monster.

>>9826360

Humans are only one race in a big, big, big galaxy, a race with no special built-in evolutionary advantages like night vision or claws or whatnot.

Just imagine if, say, the inhabitants of some random South Pacific island bullshitted their way into the Presidency, all positions of power in the U.S. military, Congress was abolished, and when the people of Manhattan staged a peaceful protest, the city was nuked into radioactive glass.

Damn those South Pacifickers. Damn their eyes.

Personally I think Star Wars is at its best if you only consider the very first film canon.

>>9826609
Oh wait, I get it now. This is about that Gooey-zux girl who whoever she was, right?

Look, let's just get this straight. I don't know her. I never MET her. I'm an engineer, not a scientist. I don't HAVE "Ideas". They tell me "Tell us how we can build this" and I fucking do it, ok? Stop acting like I'm something I'm not. The Theory isn't my JOB.

>>9826689
She willfully avoids it, she partially rejects the force and this is why she is weak in it, I think it fits the character.

I think we're all missing the point: by all accounts, until his "Master" came out of the woodwork, Skywalker was on the fast-track to joining the Imperial Academy.

This man only joined the Rebellion because a crazy mind-controlling old man promised him riches and pussy.

>>9826707
I know. Everyone always forgets the T'Syriél stormtroopers, who were very effective.

>>9826775
Sucks you had to work for the Hutts afterward. They've got a pretty terrible reputation.

You should have dropped the oversized "Death Star" thing, and shifted focus towards smaller, lower-power superlasers for capital ship combat.

>>9826801
The sick thing is, he totally got it.

I mean, have you SEEN Mara Jade? Mroww.

>>9826801
He even said he didn't like the empire, it was just a way off that rock. Several of his friends who had passed through there turned traitor anyway.

>>9826801
Shit, you hand me magic powers and a laser sword and I'll go overturn the government too.

>>9826801
He was a whiny little bitch, anyways. At least the old man's dead.

>>9826770

No.

Star Wars sucks, except for the first film, from 1:12:18 to 1:12:25. Everything else is dead to me forever. Non-canon.

Damn that Lucas fellow anyway for producing such shit every time he tries to do anything ever (except those 7 seconds, those were okay).

>>9826779
So did Luke.

I think any reasonable sovereign, upon being told by somebody she's personally witnessed performing miracles that she could do these same miracles, would submit to training.

If she was even half the woman she claimed to be (and looking at her family, it makes more sense for her to be that devoted than some farmer from buttfuck nowhere), she'd have taken Luke up on the training.

>>9826817

She's dead, Jim.

>>9826801
Don't you mean A SEPARATIST AND TRAITOR.

Vader confirmed it himself. My uncle told me--he was on the command board for the engineering staff, and heard from Vader that said old man was Obiwan Kenobi.

Traitorous bastard. I dunno how the Separatists got to him, but they sure got him good.

>>9826804
They were grunts, the equivalent of Ogryn and the species they were recruited them hated the.

>>9826845
Big deal. He had unrestricted access to that ass for YEARS.

Do you know what I'd do for that?


Anything short of betraying the Empire. Because I'm not some sickfuck traitor.

>>9826819
Psh.

Watch the movie again. He's extra excited.

And his friends only turned traitor because somebody blew up Wedge's family...before the movie...which didn't deter him from wanting to join the Empire.

>>9826817
The Emperor likely tapped that. Just saying.

>>9826882
She only fell for him because of Stockholm Syndrome, anyway. Asshole killed the Emperor. Her boss, and father figure.

Considering how many "traitors" there are around, perhaps the Empire deserved something of what it got?

>>9826891
It's good to be the King.

Trioculous here. Thrawn's a pussy.

>>9826891
Jabba would've if he could've.

>>9826906
"If one man considers the rest of the universe traitors, doesn't that make him wrong?"

True, except for when the man is the EMPEROR!

>>9826890
He met wedge on Yavin it was the Darklighters who were the ones I referred too.

Hutts have this horrible reputation

but really, I'd rather work for them than most others.

Sure their gonna try to weasle you, and if you cross them their gonna kill you, but thats just the name of the game.

Hutts pay, and that's more than you can say for a bothan or rodian or most other miserable alien trash in the universe.

>>9826891
I think she was established as the only one he DIDN'T tap.

>>9826948
How are you still alive, Fett?!

>>9826961
Pssh, bullshit. You're telling me that all those years, he didn't hit it, even once? Sure, sure.

Why on earth was Jabba attracted to Leia anyway?

Hutts are hermaphrodites who reproduce like earthworms.

>>9826947
Except that even on film, he greets Wedge as an old friend.

The others, his buddies (the "friends have gone" Aunt Beru talked about) all joined when the Empire killed Wedge's folks.

>>9826981
'Cause my backpack's got jets.

>>9826981
You see, the Sarlacc isn't so much a monster as a really long, low-budget amusement park.

>>9826981
Fett tricked the Sarlacc to squeeze his jetpack which activated it allowing him to escape.

>>9826990
Hutts are sick fucks, especially Jabba. Man, the stories I could tell you.

>>9826997
Yeah really, I mean... that thing can't even close it's mouth. I'm amazed they don't use it as a waste dump.

>>9826990
>Why was a powerhungry gangster sexually excited over holding a princess from a doomed planet, perhaps the last of her kind, captive in his collection?

Really?

>>9826990
Not even enormous earthworms can resist 80s Carrie Fisher.

>>9826990
>>9827003
You sure its that, and not just an attempt to dehumanize and humiliate her? The guy was pretty pissed.

Plus, it was entertainment for the rest of the staff.

>>9827018
There are tons of humans man.

And how exactly is Leia a princess? She has no royal ancestry, adopted or otherwise.

>>9827023
He really seemed to enjoy it. That, and what he did to Solo.

>>9827034
She was a dictator on oh-so-peaceful Alderaan.

>>9826993
I think that you are confusing wedge with Biggs,

>>9825947

I can't take him, he's jedi.

They train from child.

>>9827034
Bail Organa was technically part of the Alderaanian royal family. Unfortunately for him, the Alderaanian royal family had been essentially kicked-out-of-the-government centuries ago.

>>9827035
I never really got that. I understand that gangsters tend to be upset when people betray them, and Solo was a little huffy when the two last met, but before that, he was a pretty good resource. And he had a pretty good reason for dumbing cargo at the time.

He really just needed to pay Jabba back for it.

>>9827058
>Gus Treta station never existed

Heh.

That's why I prefer the Sith. When the Jedi were in power, what did they accomplish? Also, you know, aesthetics. I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that one time, he [MESSAGE REDACTED FOR THE GOOD OF THE FEL EMPIRE]

>>9827022

He wanted to shove his tongue in her ass, I think that's fairly obvious.

>>9827035
>>9827023
>>9827022
>>9826990
He was all turned on by having the Last Alderaanian in his collection, having a Princess in his collection, and having a Rebel Asset in his collection.

All three in one person?

That's like having an Adventure Comics #1 in mint condition (none of these are known to exist) that's in a plastic case, which is duct-taped to a similarly vacuum-sealed original copy of the Magna Carta (I think 9 of these are known to exist), which is similarly duct-taped to another vacuum-sealed original copy of the Declaration of Independence (I think we've got 1 of these left).

>>9827195
Nice analogy there.

I remember when I first heard about the Death Star, officer training. I lurched out and chocked the rebel prisoner.... four rooms away.

Vader took me into his secret adept training after that, And when we lost the war, I was told to adapt to that bastard Luke's ways. And it's true.

It's a cult, no free though, no anything, I was told to have no desires, no needs. Who can lvie lik that, save a secret army? I hated them, so I left. To this day after all thats happened I still laugh at them, brainwashed the way they are, and wonder what good I could have done serving the emperor.

The Vong had the right plan, Ill tell you that.

>>9827260
Well, those are 3 rare-ass things on ONE planet.

Leia was 3 rare-ass things in an entire fucking galaxy.

>>9825974
I hear legends that some old crone tried to destroy "the Force" once, but some laser-sword wielding punk, /as always/, came by and fucked that all to hell.

>>9827310
That is an admirable goal. More people should follow in his footsteps.

>>9827271
Everyone misses the Empire. The entire Rebellion was a big scheme to get Princess Cunt her crown back.

Ah, one more bad thing about the Empire: No HoloNet. Fuckers kept it for themselves.

Best thread on /tg/ right now.

>>9827381
In a time of war, some sacrifices have to be made.

Trust me, I was in the Service. We weren't exactly watching Jawa Eye for the Tall Guy.

>>9827381
Yeah they only let systems tap in to update planetary networks once every 30 standard days.

>>9827381
The Republic fucking tracked it. The HoloNet would have been brought back if, you know, we weren't fighting Rebels.

>>9827477
Endor! Oh shit, I can see them! Stay back, stay back! They're killing everyone oh force help me I'm going to die oh force oh force oh force

>>9827518
Do not cry out to that Jedi superstition!

Jedi myths can't save you!

>>9824964

Lord Vader created a memorial from his own pay.

That's why he lived in that fucking iso-chamber for so long. He truly cared about each and every one of his troopers.

>>9827518
WE'RE SOLVING THIS PROBLEM THE NAVY WAY

>>9827531
You're with them, aren't you? Shitshitshit I swear I'll shoot stop screaming stop

>>9825779
Reminder:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9824964/

Vote: The Empire demands it!

>>9826961

Does that mean that Big Dark E pegged Vader?

You are now imagining Ian McDiarmid and James Earl Jones fucking.

>>9827572
GET IT TOGETHER, MAN!

Would Lord Vader put up with this kind of sniveling?

I hear he cut off his own son's HAND for the glory of the Empire! What the HELL do YOU have on that?!

Those rebels are crazy. Why don't they just go with the system.

>>9827590

;_;

.......my dad's name is on that wall.

So is my brother's.

>>9827574
Careful it isn't up to date.

>>9827565
Stormtroopers do the dyin'. Navy just does the flyin'.

>>9827611
You come from a family of Imperial Heroes.

Honor them.

Don't disgrace their names by submitting to Rebel Propaganda or Jedi Superstition. Stand firm with them.

>>9827595
What? Why am I holding my old rifle? What's going on? Who's this little girl?

>>9827611
My wife has her name on that wall. First in her class on the fast track officer programme.

...Oh it hurts so much...

>>9827619
Is there a way to make it update?

>>9827621
Where's that image of the various branches of the armed forces talking about how they feel about things sucking?

>>9827565
Wouldn't that destroy the Generator?

>>9827621

I'm doing my part!

>>9827619
How do you update it?

>>9827657
http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/empire_one/

I'm here to help.

>>9827676
It updates automatically every hour.

>>9827682
And is large enough that in the next three weeks, it's going to collapse and form a singularity.

liquor kills the pain

>>9827682
>currently has fewer votes than "gritty magic girls" and every single Frost Giantess thread.

>>9827680
I remember those old commercials. Me and NT-28493 would laugh and laugh when they came on. I'm so sorry, 28493. I had no choice. I couldn't save you, you were too badly burned.

>>9827682
It hasn't updated.

>>9827641

I know man. After my father and brother died I signed up. Now I fly an interceptor.

We all need to do our part in memory of the fallen and in service to the galaxy.

>>9827762
Ever archived before? No? Be quiet.

If you want to force it to update you can re-archive it, but it does indeed automatically update by the hour.

>>9827796
Hey, he's just asking a question.

Let's be civilized. We're not Wookiees or anything.

>248 posts and 26 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

I love you, /tg/.

>>9827836
I am so proud to have started the thread.

>>9827853
I LOVE YOU, ANON!

I didn't know so many were on /tg/. Thanks, guys. You've really helped me. If I can ever eat solid food again, I'll buy you a beer.

I was assigned at Junction CXV-89672. The commsystem told us that there was a prisoner escape, so we grabbed our blasters.

What were the chances of them coming through there?

The bastard shot CF-54871. Shot him right in the chest.

I'll never forget his scream. That horrible, horrible scream.

Now I seem to hear it everywhere: Kill Bill. Pirates of the Caribbean. Lost. A Goofy Movie.

>>9827950
>CF-54871

Fuck, I knew that guy.

We used to call him Wilhelm. Some kind of family name or something.

He was on the fucking Death Star?

I...I had no idea.

>>9825034

/thread

>>9828023
I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I believe something awesome has happened.

>>9828023
Fuck that guy. BAWWW, my rebel-sympathizing hippie world got destroyed because we were harboring thousands of goddamn traitors!

About trying to end all the Jedi vs Sith bullshit: Jacen Solo basically tried that, and look where it got him....

>>9828107

So fucking what? Are we supposed to check every planet for Jedi and sith artifacts to make sure none of them survive to inspire people?

Every time they resurface they build a bunch of fancy Laser swords and some holocrons and get them scattered around. Every time someone finds an artifact they resurface. You'd need to completely destroy several inhabited worlds, and root through every world with any sort of history to find every single sith Dagger or something.

>>9828172
Maybe its already happened.
Maybe they were... successful

>>9828184
... fuck man. It does say "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away."

Fuck ...

>>9828172
Exactly. We can't expect to win a straight-up, balls-out war of extermination.

We have to win the hearts and minds of the Empire, and convince them that the galaxy is better off without sad devotion to ancient religions. We need to show them we can build a better universe without hokey religions or ancient weapons.

>>9828227
Really? That's not hard. Just remind everyone of all the problems the jedi caused.

>>9828250
I hear the Trade Federation fiasco only turned violent after the Jedi showed up.

>>9828211
Think about it man, fucking think about it

>>9828250

Well there were all those children taken from their homes to be trained to enforce the governments will. Don't talk about parents consent because one incident from HoloNet News shows the Jedi don't give a damn about that. It's the whole reason the Zesion Sha have refused to join the Jedi multiple times.

>>9828250
Let's not forget our historical vids.

The Jedi left the Republic high and dry during the Mandalorian Wars 4,000 years ago.

Or that the Jedi didn't really seem committed to the whole "freedom of sentients" thing. They didn't follow up on the Gungans. They did kind of practice slavery and enslave a whole species to manual labor, treating them as animals.

>>9828297
And let's not also forget that all of the Jedi that did want to do something were forbidden from helping. What the fuck happened to all that talk about helping people? Fuck the jedi. Seriously. Fuck them. I'm a historian and I'm not kidding or exaggerating when I say that every major conflict that this galaxy has had to deal with was because of some jedi that went nuts because his/her master couldn't teach them how to properly control themselves.

Now we can't exterminate them. But can we make some device that makes them powerless?

>>9824964
I never wanted to join the Empire, but I'll never forgive those Rebel bastards for what they did.

>>9828385
Ysalamiri. Study them.

>>9828411
Really? I know some people who would love to know about this thing.

>>9828431
It's like a sloth but even lazier. Projects a bubble where force effects cannot exist.

More people unironically support the empire in this thread than you think gentle lurker.

>>9826948
The Chiss would make great business partners, unfortunalty they're also heavily lacking in humility.

to all you Imperial Fags:

HAHA, YOU LOST TO A BUNCH OF TEDDY BEARS

>>9828850
>>HAHA, YOU LOST TO A BUNCH OF TEDDY BEARS

Oh gee, Rebel Propaganda. So believable.

>>9828850
HAHA Rebels, you drafted a bunch of tribalist teddy bears to fight your battles for you.

I honestly can't wait for Lucas to die or allow for more freedom regarding his setting. That way maybe the view that the Jedi are a bunch of pretentious, stuck up, assholes like the one taken in KOTOR 2 will become more mainstream. I mean when you look at the setting you realize that this is basically what they are.

The problem I have with KOTOR is that it wanks the gray jedi shit pretty hard. LOOK HOW EDGY OUR ANTIHEROES ARE. Not everything has to be all morally gray all the time you know. There's nothing wrong with the default heroic fantasy, black and white view portrayed in the original trilogy.

Wait are there really people unironically supporting the empire?

Jesus Christ you fucking nerds they were space nazi's. Genocide was a matter of policy. Not attempted genocide, but literally wiping out entire species.

>>9828983
explain how this wasn't the case in the prequels

Literally everything that happened was only because the jedi were inflexible pricks. They were even told what was happening by Dooku.

>>9829041
This is a board the constantly has HUMANITY, FUCK YEAH threads. This shouldn't be a surprise.

Personally I just hate the jedi.

>>9828850
Hey man, I lost my brother at the Battle of Endor.

>>9829041
Nazis tried to wipe out human races, the Empire was HUMANITY FUCK YEAR. Nothing wrong with eliminating alien threats, especially considering Palpatine campaigned on fearmongering about invasion from extragalactic aliens, which turned out to be true.

>>9829028
The only gray Jedi that gets any credence at all in those games is Jolee, and he's only gray in relation to crazy-puritan-strawman Bastila.

The other gray Jedi is Kreia, who ends up being the big bad who tried to murder the Force.

You're not even allowed to go gray in the first one. You HAVE to choose good or evil.

>>9829055
I know but I constantly hope that it's people being silly, not the many proto-fascists that unironically think that judge dredd is a good guy, or that the 40k imperium is anything but the most severe distopia possible.

>>9829041
>unironically
because you totally have the ability, with your magic internet senses, to tell if we're fucking around or not

>>9829070
Maybe that's why the anon posed it as a question.
u mad?

>>9829050
The movies portrayed them in a positive light despite this. My main problem with the jedi is that they are always portrayed in a positive light no matter what. One thing I liked about KOTOR 2 so much was that it basically said "You know, you guys aren't all perfect, and maybe you should start taking some responsibility for so many of your members turning into nutcases." Hell the game practically said that the jedi's philosophy was partially responsible.

>>9829060
Yes there is you fucking freak.
If sapience/sentience was discovered in other beings the concept of 'humanity' and all the innate rights and social mores we have have would be applicable.

>>9829064
Eh. I suppose I mean the focus on grey morality in general. I'm so tired of the I AM EVIL BUT ONLY SO TO OUT-EVIL AN EVILER EVIL shit. Original star wars was a heroic fantasy setting with GOOD GUYS and BAD GUYS, and as I'm a change fearing neckbeard, deviations from that philosophy irritate me.

>>9829050
I once more propose that Mace Windu fell to the Dark Side.

He proposed that the Jedi take control of the entire Republic, then (on evidence from somebody he outright said he didn't trust) he tried to overthrow the government. When the Supreme Chancellor was unarmed on his back against a windowframe, with a Jedi next to him explaining that the Code specifically forbade murdering unarmed prisoners, he tried to strike the prisoner down (whether he was right in thinking the prisoner was still a threat or not, he HAD NO EVIDENCE).

>>9829060
I think it's mostly due to how the republic and jedi were portrayed in the prequels. In the original trilogy we here told about how great, democratic, and wonder the Jedi and Republic were. Then we got to actually see them and both are far from it.

>>9829120

Mace Windu did fall to the Dark Side. Of Coruscant's pavement.

>>9829104
In the first game, the gray morality was actually really Good, just gray in comparison, again, with the strawman Bastila, who was ULTIMATE LG PALADIN.

In the second game, being a gray Jedi was a trick to get you to murder the Force and become a Sith.

That's...not really supportive...

>>9829094
historically humanity has trouble applying equal rights and stuff to others based on matters of skin colors, genitalia, and what gender we wish to fuck. Do you really think that we'd straight up be buddy buddy with an alien race, with a likely inhuman culture?

Unless by social mores you meant discrimination and racism (prominent social forces, both historically and today). Then yeah, they'd likely be applied.

>>9829120

He was also prone to fits of rage. If he didn't fall, he at least walked right up to the line and spat over it.

>>9829124
>The original trilogy was NOSTALGIA GOGGLES for the Old Republic.

>>9829120
He was more "grey" than dark. He saw that the senate was under Palpatine's control, and that to deal with the threat he had to kill him. It was war, and when it came to the Jedi's most hated enemy, arresting him wasn't an option. Better cut off the head of the snake, before it bites you.

>>9828107

Yeah. He tried to become a Sith to save the galaxy. Look where that got him. He fell to the dark side, went nuts, killed his aunt (seriously, his uncle is the most powerful Force user who ever lived or will live throughout history, and he thought killing that man's wife was a GOOD IDEA?!), became almost universally reviled, and on top of that lost everything (the love of his life, his daughter, the respect he had for past actions, his sanity...).

>>9829278
>Not a Dark Jedi
>The entire Order 66 justification was that the Jedi were going to overthrow the government and run it themselves
>Mace Windu suggested that they Jedi kill the Supreme Chancellor, overthrow the government, and run it themselves
>Mace Windu was the personification of Sidious' rhetoric against the Jedi

Yeah...So...

>>9829465
The Jedi and the Rebellion upset the balance of power in the galaxy opening the door for external threats to multiply.

The Empire had it been allowed to remain, would have repulsed the advances of the Vong far less painfully than the New Republic.

ITT; Jedi Impatience doomed the galaxy. Not just in the Vong wa,r but the civil war that errupted later as a result of Jacen Solo's corruption during his captivity with the Vong.

So, this thread.

Best Star Wars thread, or Worst Star Wars thread?