I have an entire bucket of the guys, plus extra gift packs and a tank.
no tans, though.
thanks for the nostalgia.
:DDDDDDD

>>9823368
Tannies?
Not on my WATCH!

They're fucking chargin' us! Take 'em out, private!

Sir! We've come under heavey fire! It's a counter attack! NEED REINFORCEMENTS NOW OR OUR LINE WILL BE BROKEN!

>>9823400
Second squad is en route, soldier! Take the fight to the tan bastards!

Pew pew pew pew!

Erm, excuze me proffeshure, but one lasht ting.

I notished you wash playin army men at th'time right before th'murda. Any explenashion?

FUCK YEAH MINIHAMMER! KILL THE FURRIES! PURGE THE FAGS, MURDER THE WEEABOOS

Here's something cool: Among the guys who wander around Disney World, there's at least two Greenies and a Tan.

>>9823459
That was not the direction of this thread.

Anyway, HOLD THIS COMMAND POST, PRIVATE!

On a separate note, did anyone else have a little shit sibling or friend that would cheat with army men, saying they were made of metal and shit? Hated that.

BEHOLD SOLDIERS

THE ULTIMATE WEAPON ARRIVES

>>9823509

NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

>>9823481
no, but i did play tan and when u bought army packs green always had a tank and like 5x as many men so when my bin was full, green was shit load more then tan so my friend agreed my guys were all hardcore units when we played to keep the game fair

>>9823509
GET THAT ORDINANCE TO THE FRONTLINE! WE'LL SHOW THEM TANS WHO RUNS THIS SHOW!

i'd line em up in the hallway and knock em down with marbles. Seems kinds basic now. Then again I wan a kid from the 70's

>>9823509

"Orbital Strike online, awaiting firing coordinates!"

>>9823533
Oh hot damn.

>>9823530
I had a buddy that tried to bullshit me every time we played army men. He'd say his dudes had lasers and super body armor and shit, even though we had the same guys.

Pistol dudes and bayonet dudes were the hardest of the hardcore.

>>9823539
"Coordinates received, Orbital Strike station set into position, awaiting firing command!"

They're bringing in reinforcements! Hit em with the machine-gun!

Now, brave blues! Flank them both!

>>9823592
Blues? We've got dirty blue rats fightin' us! Pull back and regroup at the rally point!

>>9823592

you can't do that. Blue is for civilian law enforcement, not open war.

>>9823592

We have you blue bastards now! Comrades, charge! Anyone attempting to retreat will be shot!

>>9823613
We've had it up to our plastic teeth with you rich bastards and your lackeys! The people are fighting back for themselves!

GENERAL WE HAVE A PROBLEM

SOME OF THE SOLDIERS THEY...well they...

Send in the next wave! Come on, private, get into the goddamn fight!

Big man, reporting in. Where do you need 20 rounds of awesome?

>>9823533

I thought that said "$125" at first. Inconfuckingceivable. Then I realized this isn't a Games Workshop product and is in fact only one dollar.

THE HORROR

>>9823665
CHICKEN BOMB! CHICKEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB!

We can't hold them all of them, men. The president has given the order. Use of the weapon is authorised. You know the protocol, and may God forgive us our sins.

>>9823678
Good god, man.

COMMANDER SOME OF THE SOLDIERS!

WE FOUND THEM TO THE SOUTH...COVERED IN SOME SUBSTANCE...WE THINK ITS CHOCOLATE

I always wanted Battlefield 2, but with Plastic Army Men.

Or Day of Defeat Source, to a lesser extent.

I JUST WANT A GAME LIKE THEM USING PLASTIC ARMY MEN.

check fire, check fire!

green on green!

green on Grreeeeeeurbleburlle

The snipers are giving us cover! Lead the charge, private!

>>9823678
My God...

>>9823698
Oh god damn, is the young child awake?! Fall back men! Back to the bucket! Leave the dead and dying, full retreat!

>>9823655
All I can think of about the guys on the left: JAZZ HANDS

>>9823721
NO SIR, IT'S THE TANS, THEY DISCOVERED THE KIDS HIDDEN CANDY BAR STASH

>>9823719
OH GOD, THE HORROR

Also: I never knew about the Purple Army or the White Army until this day.

I WAS, however, always taught about the Green, Tan, Blue and Red armies.

No time to read this thread, but at least two army men rules systems have been developed on /tg/. They might be in the archives.

Flamethrower's here Sarge!

Time to show those tan scum what we're made of!

>>9823733
Damnit! Then we'll fall back and set up an ambush in the bathroom doorway down the hall!

GREENS, IT'S THE TANS, GET THOSE FUCKERS CHAAAAARGE!

Let's see them fight ALL OF US!

>>9823749
By God. They're... some sort of tan/gray amalgam!

Zey are fighting. Just akording to ze plan, mein commandant.

>>9823782
Thats disgusting...who could be so sick to mix tan with green

>>9823783
Oh god, now there's BLACK Army Men?

I always thought Tan incorporated the German forces.

>>9823783
Private, scouts report black army movement to the far north! Take a squad and flush em out, gauge their strength!

CROOOOMMMMMM

>>9823809
Oh what the fuck.

>>9823809
Aliens? I didn't sign up for this shit, I'm outta here!

Sarge, reports from Squad Q, THERES A WORLD OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR!

Look at that suave little motherfucker, commanding his forces with confidence and skill. He's gonna grow up to be a tactical genius.

>>9823841
Impossible! Send an expeditionary force to set up an HQ out there! We might be out of this hellhole yet, boys!

>>9823845
>He's gonna grow up to be a tactical genius.
>He's gonna grow up to lead a coup in South America.

FTFY.

Greeting Green Ones!

The paratroopers are here, boys! Looks like they have polio or something, but any help is good!

>>9823863
Careful Sarge, there are Things out there

Sarge, this is the Silver Army Commander speaking. As per your instructions, we've engaged the Tan soldiers.

God speed and good luck.

Resupply convo is here Sarge!

>>9823920
And it looks like they brought some new toys

>>9823911
Thank God for you boys! Hold em off and cover our retreat while we set up a defense back at the bucket! Take some armor to help!

Private, have you gotten any info on the blacks?

In the grim darkness of the toy box, there is only war using WWII technology perpetually.

>>9823932
>>9823920
Grabs some fresh mags, boys! And get that damn artillery set up! We've got tan positions marked on the map, shell the shit out of 'em!

>>9823939
Eh you Green Ones seem to need help, may we offer our assistance eh?

>>9823959
Any help will do! This is our final assault against the tans, they must not live to see the next dawn, God damnit! Give 'em hell you... fucked up... things.

>>9823509
Once, I tried to melt one of my green guys.

I only managed to get the helmet, and it melted into what looked like a beret. Suddenly: instant leader

>>9823932
Oh god why I did lol

Vee are under attack from ze Zilver Army. Vee need reinforcements immediately, or this alliance is over Blue!

>>9823939
I tried Sarge... tell Josie I tried...

What the hell?! Unknown forces moving in on our position! Stay sharp!

>>9823987
PRIVATE! NO! Fuckin' tan monkeys!

>>9823983
They're on the back foot! Silver, flank 'em now!

>>9823983
Deploy the reserves!

>>9824005
Begin diplomatic actions! Get 'em on our side and we can wipe out the tans!

>>9823983
Tan leader. We hear you loud and clear. Prepare your camps, we will be there soon.

A group of tan occultists have been working for the last seven years to end the war in a way that will mean indisputable victory for the tans. through trial and error experimentation and countless rituals they have summoned...

Bark

Too long have the greens oppressed us into the dark corner of the toybox. Boys, we have till dawn to take the bucket. It's all or nothing; now or never. Set up snipers on the closet shelf, and machine gun posts to keep those reinforcements from flanking us. Look into negotiations with the black, red, silver and gold factions. God speed men.

>>9824025
Aw hell sarge, I can't do diplomacy! All I can do is hold this gun in an aiming posture! It's how I was molded! Shit!

>>9824032
>>9824021
We're gonna need a lot more men.

Get that artillery ready to blow the crap outta the blue position! Try to collapse the stairs to the basement, they'll be trapped!

>>9824058
Don't listen to his lies, men! The tans have sapped resources from the rest of us for too long! We need to show 'em who's boss right now!

Reinforce the garrisons in the southwest edge of the kitchen! Keep those fuckin' counter-tops clear for our big guns!

guys, can we make official /tg/ army men rules?

Toys... toys never change.

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Ze war, ze chaos! Eet eez muzik to mein ears!

>>9824108
see
>>9823742

>>9824108
the only wargame I would ever play..

Sarge theres a transmission coming through the radio!

We hear word of long range howitzers being brought in by rail. Soon enough our sabatours wil cut their supply lines. Stay under cover men, and move the command center to under the desk. Use geurilla tactics.

>>9824134
There's also an "official" wargame based on green army men. The name escapes me at the moment.

>>9824100

S... sarge! We found something! Checking inside now...oh no... no no no...

Sarge, we found D Company. What's left of them, anyways. Those tan motherfuckers will pay.

>>9824139
GET TO THE FUCKIN' OFFICE, DOUBLE TIME!

CORPORAL, YOU GRAB THIRD PLATOON AND PROTECT THOSE FUCKING RAILS! DON'T FUCK IT UP!

>>9824100
Sarge! The Pink Army That was reinforcing out left flank has betrayed us during an assault by the Tan! We're falling back!

Attention Greens....you boys seem to be some trouble bzzzzzzt....were coming in to help bzzzt!

For some reason I want to play a modded hearts of iron with all the resources and equipment replaced.

You'd need plastic for infantry, tanks, etc. Maybe electricity, too.

Hrrmm.

>>9824164
>Pink Army

First the reds and blues now this shit? What the hell? Who the fuck are the pinks? What happened to Grays, Tans and Greens?

>>9824148
I see you have met "Das Meltor"

Many fine weapons will be molded from the plastic of your brothers. Surrender now, or suffer their same fate.

>>9824164
No... those fuckin' spineless scumbag rat fucks! I didn't wanna have to this but...

It's time to bring in the dinosaurs

>>9824172
Hello boys.

Time to turn the tide of this war!

>>9824187
Don't worry Sarge, we'll handle the Tan bastards in the kitchen. Rangers, HO!

>>9824187
You piece of shit! I'll rip your plastic tan heart right out!

>>9824193
ALRIGHT YOU YELLOW FUCKERS LETS SHOW THESE TAN, BLUE, PINK AND WHATEVER COLOR BASTARDS WHOS BOSS!

>>9824193
>>9824198
Time to stick it to those tan motherfuckers!

>>9824190
>>9824198
Ha ha ha! You will never beat our Helicopters with those things!

Open up negotiations with the lego men. Allow them to build massive lego cities in places the green soldiers used to own. Also promise them a position of power in the new household order. And remember to thank the pink topps for such a good job. Their reward is waiting in the dining room.

>>9824211
MOVE MOVE MOVE, WE WANT THIS BATHROOM UNDER LEGO CONTROL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

Man, I hated how most of the vehicles weren't to scale with the army men. I fucking cherished my properly sized tanks and jeeps.

>>9824217
Ha ha, that bird's going down.

GREEN THREAT DETECTED.
EXTERMINATING.

>>9824217
SHOW TIME CUNTS!

>>9824218
Damn!

Attention noble legomen! The tans are not to be trusted! They simply wish to see the patriotic and glorious Green Republic done away with so that their brutal despotism may spread through the house! Long have we been the bastion against their evil schemes, and in our final hour we need your help!

Sarge! We're wrapping up the pink in this sector, the war should be done in no time.

>>9824248
ENGAGE ROBOTIC THREAT!

This shit needs archived NOW!

I love you so much, /tg/.

>>9824266
PROBABILITY OF MISSION FAILURE: ZERO PERCENT.
THE TIME OF TAN HAS ARRIVED

>>9824262
It's a fuckin' bloodbath but... damn I'm proud of you boys!

The rest of Able and Dog company will be regrouping with you in about four minu- ARGH

I'm.. I'm fuckin' hit!

Dear Legion Lego men. It is important you realise there is no right or wrong in war. No winner and loser. Only who is left. The greens may preach a story of righteousness, but they are guilty of all the things they claim us to be. Join us, and together, we will rule the household with an empire that will last a million suns. Only this way will you achieve a power stronger than anyone could ever imagine.

Sir! I saw something land on the TV! It didn't look like one of ours. Hell, it didn't look like one of theirs either. I think there may be a new party present...

>>9824258
>>9824218
Tom give me the damn radio!
Hey Paul there talkin to us!
What, oh hey there plastic dudes, um our general isn't here right now, hes kinda out building...yeah hes building a dinosaur helicopter outside the base.
Um we can speak for him though, we kinda like the green guys more so we guess we'll help them.
Holy cow, Tom, the general put wheels and orange transparent chainsaw on that thing!
Sweet!

>>9824301
I hacked one of their machines, Sarge! Nothing plastic about this baby - it's ALL METAL.

>>9824330
>>9824309
Damn it Sarge don't die on me! We need to hook you up to this machine!

I'm bleedin' out! MEDIC! MEDIIIIIIIIC!

Go on without me boys... war doesn't wait for a washed up old soldier like myself. I'm damn proud of all of you, though.

HOW DO I CONTROL THIS SHIT!
Shoulda read the instruction manual Grant
OH SHUT UP, I THINK WE RAN OVER SOME TAN GUYS

Dammit i dont like the looks of this...

Commander! Deploy the reserve brigades! And it's time to use...the weapon of ultimate destruction....

>>9824348
You're tellin' me you can put me IN one of those damn things? Oh man, I can't die just yet!

Attention Green Army. We are not your enemy. Surrender to us now, and we will provide you proper shelter, first-aid, and plastic.

We are not your enemy, your selfish leaders who waste your lives are. Join us, and together we will stop this plasticshed.

>>9824352
Target down. Cover me while I escape.

>>9824363
>Realizing Legos are basically Americans

Jesus christ

HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IM DOING RIGHT NOW HAHAHAHA

>>9824372
Don't listen to 'em, boys! They're playing on your battle-fatigue! A good hot meal and an armistice sounds good to me too, but we can't trust these bastards! They'll stab you all in the back!

>>9824368
Sure can! There might be some slight disfigurement.

they call me the Rustler...goin on a mission behind enemy lines, to rustle up as many high rankin greens as I can...

>>9824387
Oh it's ON, boy.

>>9824402
Oh you best be sending that thing against the tans now.

Let this tiny plastic heresy be purged!

>>9824420

Shit! I've been spotted!

>>9824404
Their will is bending and breaking! Fellow Pinks, today, we shall rise up and take our proper place in the toy box! No longer shall we be ridiculed, for today we shall take our proper place at the HEAD of toy box. Destroy these inferior Greens, and may the Molder watch over you all!

>>9824428
It's sad, really, that this looks like it has better balance than the actual model.

>>9824420
Hey Green's whatsup man hahaha, just letting you know we got that bathroom under Lego control and were pretty much taking over the backyard and the pool, so don't worry about those places, got troops heading in to the kitchen now!


HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T THINK THAT COULD BLOW UP HAHAHAHA

This is the best thread on 4chan right now.
Fuck.. tomorrow when I go out, I'll run by the dollar store and pick up army men for the sake of this thread.

FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>9824446
And what of the tans! You're pawns to them, they'll do away with you at their earliest convenience! Help us, and we can establish a multilateral treaty organization based on mutual respect and trust! Also, whacky donut wednesday!

>>9824443
Eat lead you bitch!

Seems like it's time for us to take care of shit around here, step aside faggots.

Sarge, the Lego men...there kinda scaring some of the troops, yeah there destroying Tans and shit but...they act like they just got out of an insanity ward, i mean they take their machines apart in the middle of battle and build crazier shit!

>>9824489

Fuck fuck fuck!

Hold together boys, our scientits are superior and our better technology will win us the war!

>>9824463
You're all goddamn heroes, Lego General. God bless all of you blocky sumbitches.

Alright, mount up and lock n' load boys, this is it! Get some machinegunners on top of the couch! Move the mortar teams to the west of the lazyboy!

Fuck, watch for snipers on top of the television and on the mantle!

HAHAHAHA STUPID ASS TANS, IF YOU WANT TO RULE THE POOL YOU NEED TO CONTROL MORE FUCKING BOATS!

>>9824518

>>9824489
Oh, don't worry Sarge. We even have a plan for them, too.

At this very moment, we are mopping up those sorry Tans. We shall be the sole rulers of the Toybox, or there will be no rulers at all!

>>9824518
DIE!

>>9824513
We need 'em, deal with it!

They don't realise there's only one way in and out of the living room. HAHA this is going better than expected corpral! Soon the green high command will be shattered by our massive elite sniper encampment.

>>9824564
You traitorous bastards don't have any honor! You trade allegiances like it's nothing! Well, you've made yourselves a terrible foe this day, boys! 'Cause after we wipe out the tans, we'll be looking for you!

HIT EM WHILE THEY'RE DISTRACTED, MEN!

Toy SOldiers, its FPS's grandpa, not the old war vet in wheel chair grandpa, the kickass old motorcycle grandpa

Alright boys, not enough stuff is being blown up or wrecked, lets get every god damn block in the bedroom into action and ram some multicolored abominations up their plastic asses!

>>9824568

Gah! Suck the.. fattest part of my... ass, greeny...

>>9824571
About that general!

>>9824571
Get the fuckin' howitzers and other artillery up and shell the fuck out of the coordinates we've laid out for you! Concentrate on the television, framed pictures on the mantle, and the ledge of the big bay window! Move, move, move!

HEY PINK FAGS
TANS

GUESS WHAT WE HAVE FOR YOUR ASSHOLES!?

>>9824618
That's for almost killin' me before I got to single-handedly kill the tan general you little shit!

Hey guys, Lego from another galaxy here, we decided to drop in and lend you Tans a hand, do with this what you will, may the force be with you.

>>9824622
YOU IMBECILES!

CANT YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?

TRY TO TAME THAT BEAST, IF ALL ELSE FAILS, and get the mortars on their artillery for christ sakes. The Tan high command is expecting more from you, sargent.

>>9824658
OH YOU SHIT CUNTS

We're gaining ground! Move the MGs up along the cleared-out bay window! Cover the vents, don't let 'em escape!

Move the mortar crews up! Charlie company, sweep to the left and catch 'em in a pincer! Dog company, take the right! Able, you're with me, we're headed for the tan base behind the TV! LET'S MOVE, PEOPLE!

>>9824658
FUCKING FASCISTS

>>9824594
We trade alliances because, for too long, we have been ridiculed and put down. We were lower than those Blues that sell themselves to the highest bidder.

BUT NO LONGER. Our scientists have been developing weapons using the "joint" research with the Tans for some time now. With our new weapons, we are guaranteed respect and admiration!

G..General, another beast has stepped out from the portal...

WHAT THE FUCK

WHY ARE WE USING SWORDS AND SHIT

HAHAHA THIS IS AWESOME

>>9824693
Pink, if you show some backbone and help us with the assault, we can guarantee that you will get the respect you've had coming to you! Don't sacrifice your morals for petty vengeance, we fight for a higher purpose!

Quarrelsome insects, I will put an end to your silly dispute by order of Palpatine of the Galactic Republic, may the force have mercy on your souls.

Sargent, put that little gift from the galactic lego to good use. Push em back to the kitchen.

Pink, you're word doesn't mean much now but we need ya more than ever right now. Deploy what you have immediatly.

>>9824693
So the Pinks think they can match Legos when it comes to horrible creations

WELL THINK AGAIN CUNT SACKS

Someone archive this shit, now!

I speak to any of the Tan Command who will listen. We, the Decepticons, find this to be a most opportune moment for both parties to propose an alliance in dealing with these troublesome green worms, our mutual foe. Pretty win win, yeeesss?

Hey boys! I'm so disproportionate I don't even menstruate. How sexy is THAT?

>>9824711
Cavalry? Shit's outdated, boy. Better have something a little fierce- OH MY GOD it impaled Nichols! You CUNTS! YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!

>>9824736
IM SORRY, WERE YOU TRYING TO USE THAT BULLSHIT FOR SOMETHING?

CAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU WILL BE.

>>9824743
We, the Tan high command accept this alliance under these harsh times. A mutual territory split after the war will be made up. For now, attack at will, commander.

>>9824729
>>9824736
Artillery, focus fire on the big testicle! Send in the bombers! DROP THE FUCKING BOMB IF YOU HAVE TO, JUST GET IT OUT OF THE SKY!

>>9824743
Another fucking robot. You tans ain't got the guts to fight man-to-man!

>>9824729
I got this shit

>>9824781

Very well then! Decepticons, attack!

I love the dudes with there shirts open holding M60s with a magazine hanging from it.

Those were my FAVORITE.

>>9824800
You green animals havn't got the testicular mass to fight on your own. Without the legos, you'd be eating pillow feathers.

>>9824736
>>9824726
Sarge, you have a way with words. We will join you, but only under the conditions that we are given PRIME territory in the Toy Box.

>>9824801
fuck you rich fag

>>9824784
YOUUU MOTHERFUUUCKERRRS

Alright boys, I need a crack team of the meanest, greenest badasses to ever enlist. We're going a mission even top Green brass don't know about.

We're going right into the tan base.

Intel says there's some tunnels made by these bigass bugs that leads right under the TV and into the tan general's room. If we kill him, we win this!

>>9824824
Of course! Lend me your best men, so that we can drive a stake through their tan hearts!

>>9824824
The Toy Box disintegrated while reentering the atmosphere after saving human spaceflight. You'll have to wait until they finish building the Toy Box 2.

HEY SARGE, WEVE GOT THESE TAN BITCHES UNDER SIEGE NEAR THE TV, THE LITTLE WIMPS ARE BARLEY PUTTING UP A FIGHT

>>9824836
You need these dudes:
>>9824816


They were bigger than the average soldier

shirt open

muscly

bullets

>>9824836

Ready to win the war, sir!

>>9824836
Green you say? You got it

>>9824856
Sarge, we can lend you one of the WoMDs we've developed while under tutelage of the Tan Scientists.

You incompetant fools! I give you the best eqipment in the war and the Tan lines are STILL falling back! Take after the decepticons, and KILL SOME GREEN SHIT! FUCK!

Alright men, rally on me! Lego General, keep fighting the good fight and distract 'em with the big guns! Able, Dog, and Charlie companies keep holding your ground! Pink, give 'em hell wherever you can! Silver, tie up their air support and all that!

Alright, into the breach.

...We're undetected so far, about three minutes until we hit the base.

Mein fu-err, my general! The super soldier project has born fruit!

muscly fruit!

>>9824912
War's over boys! Get ready to make sweet move to the missus!

>>9824902
Shoot that man, he's a fucking spy.


...Okay we're in the base now.

>>9824936
EXCELLANT WORK! DEPLOY IT WE HAVE NO TIME!

>>9824936
My god! He's 10 times the size of man!

>>9824951

Going somewhere?

>>9824918
Deploy it!


There you are, general!

>>9824973
FOCUS FIRE ON THE BIG BOTS!

...I'll deal with the tan general myself.

ja! ja! Vatch as he crushes ze pitiful little greens!

>>9824992
Are you suggesting you can get past the top scientist of the Tan regime, little man?

>>9824992
So we meet at last...there is something you must know...I wish you could have found out sooner, but before we fight, you must know...

Sarge, I am your father...

>>9824974
>Modern army men

GET OUT OF HERE

YOU RUIN THE CLASSIC GAMES

>>9825005
Lego General, watch out for those things!


Eat lead, Tan scum!

Tan, we are sending reinforcements.

With love, Blue Commander

>>9825005

Hahahhaa yes! Save some for me!

HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SOLDIER

ALRIGHT HERES THE PLAN, PUT WHEELS ON THE BATTLESHIP AND RAM THAT SHIT INTO THE GIANT

>>9825023
Oh bullshit you fucker, just die already!

>>9824936
HAH, that's the tan's secret project?

ha and ha

get a load of this

Yeah, that's right, this is THE solid snake, the genetically engineered clone of the greatest soldier to ever live HIMSELF, what have you Tans got now?

>>9825040
I was wondering when id have a chance to use these fuckers

>>9825055
Surprise, fucker!

AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT!

>>9825021
FUCK, ANOTHER LACKEY! I NEED SOME BUFF MACHINEGUN DUDES WITH OPEN SHIRTS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

>>9825057
>ALRIGHT HERES THE PLAN, PUT WHEELS ON THE BATTLESHIP AND RAM THAT SHIT INTO THE GIANT
Military genius

>>9825097
I'm glad he's on our side.

*cough cough*

ugh, I....oh god, the pain, i....

you can *cough* can kill me, but you...can never kil...kill the ta-an army.....ugh *dies*

ALRIGHT GUYS LETS FUCK THIS SHIT UP

SEND IN THE ROBOTS

>>9825079
If I could find a shit ton of those guys i'd totally make an awesome Historical wargame with Lego.

GENERAL TAN WE HAVE ARRIVED,

ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT AWAITING YOUR LASER DESIGNATION!

HELLO SARGE, WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE IN NEED OF SOME REINFORCEMENT. WE ARE SENDING YOU SOME OF OUR BEST MEN FROM THE LITTLE BROTHER'S ROOM, THEY ARE UNDER YOURS TO COMMAND.

>>9825085

THE AUTOBOOOOOOOOTS?! THERE'S ONLY ONE THING WE CAN DOOO! WE MUST WITHDRAW!

HAHAHAHA LOOK AT THE BLUES SCREAMING

>>9825119
HA! He's dead, boys! Mop up the rest of these fuckers, I have a corpse to hang from the flagpole!

>>9825119
It appears the day is lost!

Come to me, my giant soldiers. It is time to leave and gather our strength.

OK TIME TO TEAR SOME SHIT UP PERSONALLY

IM SORRY TANS, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ROBOT FISTS IN YOUR FACE

>>9825141
General Tan is dead. It is time I reveal my TRUE nature...

I knew taking charge of the tan army would be the best way to take control of the house. It's time, my tan brothers to rise, and TAKE OUR TRUE GLORY MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>9825171
Pink! Don't let them escape! Cut them down and exact your vengeance upon the tans that once sneered at you!

>>9825170

Not so fast! You thought you disposed of me, like you did my little bro, you were dead wrong. Today I avenge Tan Sniper!

This is Captain Baha of the Imperial Guard, we are coming in hot-and-fast.
Look to the skies boyo's, because you will soon see it filled with the sight of a thousand Blackhawk's in the air.

>>9825192
Oh god what

>>9825192
This is orbital bombardment ship NE-2353, we await laser target designation, we don't care as long as we still get paid.

And then everyone was Mr. Potato Head.

>>9825171
WHAT, YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE CHOICE?

ALRIGHT BRING THE SHIPS DOWN AND BOMBARD THESE CUNTS

>>9825206
Boy, it's fuckin' war! Don't be an idiot, and just lay down your rifle. The war's over, son, I've killed enough kids to last me a damned lifetime.

But if you must kill this old warrior... then I'll have to at least put up a fight.

>>9825212
you heard me asshole, Tan Gneral was a pawn all along. I am the true mastermind. And I am well away from battle. As we speak I reorganize my forces. While your men are weary and tired, the Tan Alliance are nevver gonna give you up, and never gonna let you down. So prepare to taste my potatoey fists.

Glad we didn't have to unleash these abominations on the Tans, no man, nor friend nor foe, deserves this kind of destruction, god would never forgive us, jesus christ, I can't even look at them.

>>9825261
OH THE GREENS MAY BE TIRED CUNT FUCKER

BUT THE YELLOW FURRY IS STILL IN FULL THROTTLE

>>9825261
I've got a nice warm stick of butter with your name on it, fuckface! The greens have plenty of fresh-faced recruits and battle-ready veterans that are itchin' to take a shot at some tans! Meanwhile, we've created a strong coalition of armies more than capable of wiping you out!

>>9825272
Keep them prepared soldier, it looks like this shit isn't over yet.

This is orbital bombardment ship NE-2353 We await laser target designation, We do not care who's side we are on as long as we are payed IN FULL sufficient reactive isotopes to jump clear of the system after the battle is over.

WE ARE HERE TO FIGHT FOR THE TAN--Oh... oh right. They're all dead, huh? Well then...

>>9825272
WHAT >>9825261

OH FUCK MORALITY, YOU POTATO TAN CUNTS ARE GETTING IT NOW, SEE YOU IN HELL MOTHERFUCKERS

Sir! Enormous objects appeared on our side(Green Army). Appear to be giant containers for some new troopers!

>>9825306
W-We can't kill him Sarge! We blow his arms off! We blow his freaking eyes out! HE JUST PUTS THEM BACK IN AGAIN!

Dont let my cute fixation fool you. I am a bloodthirsty warmonger at heart. We still have men willing to fight, in fact, i suggest you send a counter attack to the bathroom right now, and attempt to "flush" us out. HAHAHAHAHA

>>9825315
LISTEN HERE CUNT WAFFLES THIS IS LEGO GENERAL GENUS H CUBE, IF YOU DON'T TURN YOUR ASSES AROUND AND GO BACK TO WHATEVER STAR SYSTEM YOU CAME FROM IM BRINGING IN THE LEGO FUCKING SPACE FLEET

>>9823809
Holy fuck, I had one of those guys, only in white!

Mr Potato head.....what are you doing

This is A-Squadron, first platoon, we are entering the area.
Be advised hostile forces, we are on a search-and-destroy mission. Attempts to engage us will be met in kind.

>>9825351
SIR DO NOT BE HASTY SIR, IF YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT PAYMENT WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.

WE DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FUEL TO CURRENTLY JUMP CLEAR OF THIS SYSTEM.

>>9825315
can't let you do that star, uh, ship

>>9825335
Relax green boy, those are some special troops I have prepared.

The assault is ready, and proceeding virtually unchallenged, sir. We will continue to rendez-vous point Lima.

Our imperial lego allies grow stronger..

>>9825382
LAND ON MARS THEN BOYS THE LEGO TROOPS HAVE A HUGE BASE THERE AND WE'LL FUEL YOUR ASS UP

Green Army. Direct us, we are your blade.

Now that the main Tan Army is routed, and their general killed. It is time to start dividing the power and Toy Box.

Here is what I suggest.

THOUGH THE TAN EMPIRE HAS COLLAPSED THERE IS STILL PLASTIC TO SHRED! GAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHA! RIP AND TEAR, MY BROTHER HOUNDS, RIP AND TEAR! THE GREATEST OF FEAAAAASTS!

>>9825416
and seconds later the whole army collapses

>>9825414
Pink requires a bigger portion of power, as part of our wartime agreement. The tans? They get nothing. They want war, we'll give them war.

>>9825442

FUCK! SOMEONE TWIRL US AGAIN! WE NEED SUPPORT!

>>9825412
Now remember, you and your race made a deal with us, help out the greens and we'll give you full Lego citizenship and rights

>>9825455
GET THAT SHIT SPINNING, BOYS.

Also, DAMNIT CONRAD, TIE YER FUCKIN' LACES!

>>9825414
WHAT? How DARE you suggest something like that? We REFUSE to again be at the bottom of power. You think of us as Equals only to silver, and inferior to all others? We shall NEVER accept this peace!

>>9825453
And what about the legos! We saved your asses from the fire!

>>9825410
Sir if you can give us a laser designation we can give you a precision orbital strike then be on our way, think of it as payment.

FIRE CONTROL TO FULL ALERT

AWAITING TARGET DESIGNATION.

>>9825416
GREENS, PREPARE THE RUBIKS TIME BOMBS, THESE BEYBLADE JAPS CAN'T POSSIBLY TEAR THROUGH THESE BEHEMOTHS

TAN ARMY. YOU WEAK IMBECILES. I WILL JOIN YOU, AND SHOW YOU MAXIMUM POWER.

>>9825459
>>9825412
We can spare to fall back, assess our current troop strength and supplies, and decide our campaign against the Tan insurgency.

>>9825483
Hmmmmmm

HEY GREEN, YA GOT ANYPLACE YOU NEED ORBITALLY FUCKED UP?

It's not the tan in the fight that counts, its the fight in the tan!

>>9825475
I've been promoted, boys!

Pink, I informed the treaty organization that the current plan for balancing powers is unacceptable. Bear with us.

>>9825459
Understood. We have infiltrated enemy spacecraft, and are preparing to sabotage.

>>9825483
WHY is it that you mercenaries are so desperate for cash, FUCK

if you want to do us a favor, perform an orbital strike on Idaho, the homeland of the potato, you will receive payment in full not long from now, care of the greens

>>9825537
Yeah this will work.

>>9825516
Do you see anywhere tan? There.

>Meanwhile, in suburbia
OH MY GOD!

>>9825455

I SWEAR TO THE GREAT PLASTIC MOLD I WILL RIP YOU ALL LIMB FROM LIMB ONCE I REGAIN MY MOMENTUM!

Guardsmen here
FOR THE EMPRA!

It's time I go back into hiding. The Green menialcal tyrants have control of the house. With only a few loose clusters of tan left, we must concede. BUT IT IS NOT ALL FOR NOTHING!

There is another household down the street, I will raise an army one house at a time. and I WILL be back.

Alright boys, we've regrouped and our current plan is to use the termite-tunnels to sneak through the floorboards into the basement where the remaining tans are. We may face blue resistance mixed with fuckin' decepticons and shit, so be on the lookout.

Full bionicle force deployed, initiating takeover of >>9825315 ship

>>9825598
You can have any household you please, tan bastards. This one belongs to the greens and their allies, and we are content to leave it that way. We don't fight for conquest, we fight for justice! (and the thrill of it)

I regret to inform you Tans (not really) that I will now be unleashing our ultimate weapon, in hopes of finally obliterating all of you off-color brown motherfuckers, what it holds nobody knows, but be prepared for the worst.

GREEN BACKDROP

ZOOM IN ON RIGHT EYE

FLIP CAP BACKWARDS

ZOOM OUT

GO POKEBALL

It's only a matter of time before the legos are cheated out on the new treaty, and a new war breaks out. By then, we will have gained enough strength to once again rule the husehold. Green Colonal,

I bid you farewell
The next time I shall meet you
Will be down in hell

>>9825537
Target is large enough to not need specific target designation.

LASERS SET FOR FULL THERMAL SPECTRUM

ORBITAL STRIKE FIRE!

GOOD LUCK LEGO AND GREEN FORCES

We will land at mars for reactive isotopes and prepare to jump out of the system.

>Image reply max

DAMN

The Tans started this damn war so they should pay every damn cent of the reparation money, screw capacity to pay! The pinks are no damn better!

We have written up a possible conclusion that may be accepted, however it seems I can't upload the chart

>>9825653
The Greens protect their allies. We would not consider cheating the Legomen out of any territory or resources they desire, as it was their help in our time of need that won us the day.

You should try not being a cunt sometime, Potato-Head, you make a lot more friends that way.

Gentlemen, it would appear our war-machines have been rendered useless.
I suggest we draw-up possible plans for a SECOND WAR.
Tan V. Green, PART TWO!

>>9825682
>>9825671
WOULD A NEW THREAD BE SUFFICIENT?

>>9825682
Same here Diplomat. But I fear that the Pink's likeliness to rebel will lead their diplomacy in their future. Don't give them too much power.

>>9825651
GO... jigglypuff?

WHAT? I WAS TOLD THAT... JESUS

never trust a tojo

>>9825705

>>9825702
>>9825674
Though we must not forget the treachery of the Pinks, they helped us when the chips were down. I have seen pink soldiers with hearts of the hardest plastic fight with valor above and beyond what many think possible of a toy, so I feel we should be lenient with them.