By not being friends with assholes.

so he doesn't understand how buying and selling works? cool story, bro.

why would lack of magicial items explain gold circulation?

Also, DM fait that "Merchants screw you" is pretty damn easy to see.

Tell that annoying fuck that it's your goddamn setting and camels are worth whatever you want.

Also
>it doesn't cost money to assemble a camel

This made me lol

Tell him DMs word is law and if he doesn't like it then GTFO.

Why are you playing with such a toolbag? Have some self respect.

See, that probably took a few minutes longer than just smacking him in the face with a DMG and going NO! BAD PLAYER! in an authoritative voice.

Hammers. A whole bag of 'em. Bludgeon this asshole with one.

OP, I would have been far more nefarious.
Sell them for 200 gold apiece.
Have them be diseased, because I'll bet all money they didn't run heal checks on them before selling them.
Some wealthy dude realizes he has been swindled for a considerable sum.
REVENGE IS GO, THANK THE META GAMER FOLKS.

Glad to see you guys see reason.
I did a combination of these:
>>9560366
>>9560371
>>9560365

I'm not sure what it was. He got a bitchy over pretend currency and finally gave in when he realized that the entire group saw him for what he was.
AN IMMATURE BRAT
This has hopefully taught him a valuable lesson in what it is the DM does and what it is the player does

>>9560328
200 gold is for new camels. You're selling used camels. Problem solved!

...Oh god, that sentence sounds weird to me.

>>9560474

Hey, Can I buy a used camel from you?

>>9560474
Would you like to know why it sounds weird?
Because I never in my entire life thought I would hear the word USED referring to a camel.
It can also be construed to mean something vaguely sexual

>>9560474
COME TO CRAZY HASSAN'S USED CAMEL EMPORIUM, WHERE WE SUPPLY THE FINEST IN USED CAMELS! BARELY USED AND WITH HUNDREDS OF MILES LEFT IN THEM, THESE ANIMALS WILL GET YOU THERE AND BACK FOR A THIRD OF THE WATER YOU'D SPEND ON A HORSE!

COME TO CRAZY HASSAN'S CAMEL EMPORIUM, LOCATED OFF THE MERCHANT'S BAZAAR IN DOWNTOWN BAGHDAD. LOOK FOR THE CRAAAAAAAAAZY CAMEL SIGN!

>>9560474
I giggled.

>>9560328
Op, if I had a player like that, I'd just torch his sheet and tell him politely to leave. We don't deal with that shit when I'm DMing.
I had a very similar problem. We had a "that guy" in our group who was becoming more and more of a problem. He tried to tell me that the rules in the rulebook were there for a reason and I didn't have the authority to overrule them.
I just told him to gtfo of my house and that was the end of that. From that day forward, every time he tried to raise a stir it was as simple as "gtfo" and my problems were solved.
If it takes place at your house, just do that next time. Consider ignoring him your warning

>>9560531
This will be put into my current campaign.

Regardless of the fact that they're dicking around a temperate/cold area.

>it doesn't cost money to assemble a camel
Actually, in a sense it does if you raise them yourself because you have to pay to feed and house them (this aint dwarf fortress), but yeah you're still in the right here.

>>9560531
>>9560474
>>9560497
I love you guys so fucking much

>>9560556
snow camels.

>>9560554
I don't know, if the DM just starts making up rules because he feels Rule 0 is the ultimate "JUST BECAUSE" button, I'm going to be upset. If you are going to change rules and shit, tell me before we even start playing, if it's a plot point reason, I'll hand-wave it. Money in this case is fine, because thats just business.

>>9560587
Well that's why he's crazy!

>>9560624
It all started with a rule about 5 foot steps. 5 foot steps for fuckssake. I told them beforehand about it too! I think I was perfectly with in my rights to banish him from my house.

>>9560664
If you change a rule before game and let everyone know you are perfectly in your right as a DM to be upset, because you aren't playing magical tea party with with rules of the game.

>>9560587
You mean, like alpacas?

>>9560664
Bro, don't worry about it. You did fine. Some people are just dickbags about things like this, and D&D attracts them like flies.

>>9560679
exactly! It was fuckin' Insane!

>>9560328
>>9560624
It's dangerous to not be sensitive to the value of currency

>>9560474
>200 gold is for trained camels. You're selling wild camels. Problem solved!
fix'd for serious.

>>9560328

For a start they aren't riding animals. Training a camel to accept a rider is a bitch, these probably haven't been trained.

Ergo 20-50 golds

>>9560694
Fuck that. Crazy Hassan decided after getting kicked out of the desert that he would make his own desert. With blackjack, and hookers.

The only thing is that this desert has a lot less sand, and a lot more cold. But no matter, his faithful brood of camels are stubborn enough to manage.

I have a player who obsessively searches EVERYTHING. Like if they're in a burning building collapsing around them? Let's search for treasure! If they're being chased out of town by an angry mob? Fuck that, let's loot some houses!

>>9560786
I would recommend a liberal use of mimics and those handy little creatures that look like bags of holding, but actually eat what ever you put in to them.
Also, make sure searching during events bites him/her in the ass.

>so, in conclusion: ITT problem players, and how you deal with them.
Not at all, because I just tell them to leave

>>9560843

Bag of Devouring

OP, if your guy visits /tg/, just screen cap this thread and give it to him. Shit, even if he doesn't go on /tg/ do that. So long as he realizes what a forum is, he'll realize how much of a cunt bag everyone believes him to be.

>just because the book values them at 200 gold doesn't mean that anyone will necissarily be willing to pay that much for them. also i said "YOU [your characters] appraise their value to be between 20-50 gold". not being expert camel appraisers, you might have been off a bit.

>>9560843
Yeah, that was my general reaction. He just has metagaming problems in general, though.

>>9560786
Let's look for treasure!

>>9560328
>The book says camels are worth 200 gold!
>What the fuck are you doing using a custom setting, that's not in a book!

Pictures of Crazy Hassan?

This story is bullshit. No edition of DnD sells camels for 200gp

>>9560944
Not CA-RAAAAAAAAAAAZY enough.

>>9560956
I know, he told me they were "riding animals" and told me that the 3.5 players handbook said that a riding animal was usually sold for 200 gold. Look it up yourself, I know it got shoved in my face a few times today.

>>9560956
probably equating with heavy horse which is 200gp in 3.5 PHB

>>9560944

>>9560877
>metagaming

Punish it. Severely. It sucks all of the fun out of things if allowed to fester.

>>9560868
DO THIS NOW.

HEY! hey meta-gamer guy! YOU SUCK BALLS

>>9560994
Oh, the first major instance of it got them banned for life from the most major city in the world. Hopefully that'll help it sink in.

>>9561014
oh? do tell.

I probably would've been more interested in fucking the camels than selling them...

>>9560993
Ironically, facial coverings would be MORE practical in the cold weather. He's being a good samaritan!

THAT'S CRAZY HASSAN FOR YA!

>>9561042

You do realize that the sun hates you?

cover your face.

>>9560944

>>9561005
I am, and I'm loving it

>>9560991
A (trained) camel should actually be better than a heavy horse.

>>9561034
see >>9560474

Also, I do not think its a coincidence your post ended in 34.

>>9561032
Basically, they got kicked out of a tavern for semi-legitimate reasons (setting-wise), then decided to light the tavern on fire and stick around afterwards (butthurt-wise). Mind you, people were in this tavern, and promptly went outside the tavern. I gave them a lot of opportunities to get the fuck out of that situation, which they didn't take because they wanted the XP or something (I don't remember the rationale, they were derping around). Shit started piling up when said metagamer decided to break into a few shops, while said angry mob was watching them. This was the point where another party member decided it would be a good idea to start a second fire as a distraction. Shit went downhill from there, and I let them get out, but they're never going to be able to get back into that city because of the number of people who got very clear views of them.

>>9561139
Oh boy, sounds like my group

>>9561192
These were also not anywhere near the first arsons performed in that city.

>>9561200
Now it sounds exactly like my group

>>9561217
By any chance, do you meet with your group Thursday nights?

>>9561139
sounds like you need a new party

Crazy Hassan wasn't always crazy. Hell, he didn't have that name till he settled down.

Crazy Hassan used to be an adventurer of great repute and skill; sadly, his economic skills were beyond abyssmal. Case in point, having a Used Camel Emporium in a Temperate/Mountain area.

When people started calling him Crazy Hassan, he took it not as an insult, but wore the name as a badge of honor, adding it to his business's name.

Why does he still persist in selling those camels? In reality, he doesn't; he just likes the ornery beasts. However, being known as the crazy man selling camels in the snow is better than being the crazy man who owns an inordinate amount of camels in the snow.

>>9561233
Fuck, /co/ fag here. Who is the one on the far left? Captain Marvel. There isn't anything identifiable.

>>9561285
Good pic, but I'm not sure it's crazy enough yet

>>9561355
my money's on aquaman

>>9561285
This is quickly becoming one of my all time favorite /tg/ characters.

>>9561358
Sadly, I have nothing crazy enough for Crazy Hassan ;_;

WE MUST HAVE A DRAWFAG DRAW HASSAN, HIS CAMELS, AND HIS CRAAAAAAAZY CAMEL SIGN.

>>9561358

I have something of Crazy Hassan's brother.

>>9561507
Crazy, but not enthusiastic enough

And his other brother.

>>9561561
>Brother

I've got some news for you.

>>9561561
...That's a female <_<

>>9561569
Man, in some universes, non-fat males have tits. Don't be weird about it.

>>9561561

>brother
Cool story, bro.

>>9561575
>>9561569
Crazy Hassan and his brother don't talk much since his brother came back from the Magical Surgeon's office.

>>9561569
The gods work in mysterious ways.

>>9561561

Fuck. I was only looking at the thumbnail. Here's his real brother.

>>9561616
Second verse, same as the first~

>>9561616
In fact, Hassan's older brother was inspired to undergo the change due to an estranged Uncle.

(in other words, that is ALSO a female).

>>9561616
You're pretty bad at this, bro.

>>9561628

(I know, I was making fun of my mistake that time.)

Okay, in all seriousness, here's his brother.

Simpsons did it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oD0TSIDoEp4

>>9561651
Now you're just ruining Crazy Hassan.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

>>9561662
>This is a Commercial that we did for a church play about the life of Jesus.

How does a Jewish lady factor into that?

>>9561651
We get it, you fucked up, shut up about it.

>OP: I have an asshole in my group
...
>so this guy has a used camel shop in the middle of the taiga

never change, /tg/

I wanted to write about one player that wanted to convince the GM that he has an NPC that, quote, 'the GM knows nothing about', but Crazy Hassan is better than that.

Once again;

WE MUST HAVE DRAWFAGS FOR CRAZY HASSAN

>>9561718
nono tell us this story

>>9561718
Nothing's preventing both from happening at once.

>>9561718
Until we get more Hassan writefaggotry/drawfaggotry, stories will suffice!

>>9561675

Jesus was a jew.

and also, that's a jersey accent, bro.

>>9561794
I suppose you're right. Nonetheless, though, it's hard not to conflate the two.

>>9561817

That's because a fuck ton of Jews are East Coast Jews, and so have east coast area accents.

Crazy Hassan once tried selling Riding Crocodiles. That didn't work out so well.

>>9561899
Crocodiles are mean too, but a different kind of mean. The lose-a-hand kind. Customers weren't too happy about that, and Hassan wasn't crazy enough to ignore his cash intake.

I played with Edward once.

>>9561951
I'm sorry.

>>9561915
Crazy Hassan is crazy, not stupid.

I imagine Crazy Hassan is just overly exuberant upon meeting new people, and is always FAR too eager to tell people the wonders of riding Camels.

I have heard about this Edward fellow for a long time but never really cared, what did he/ does he do?

on an airplane players bring heavy weapons plane crashes in the first round of combat

>>9561718
>convince the GM that he has an NPC that, quote, 'the GM knows nothing about'
No no no, I want to hear THIS.

>>9561971
Think of everything that comes to mind when the term "raging faggot" is put forth. That.

>>9561976
Indeed.

>>9561976
Thirded, please go on.

>>9561976
fourthed

>>9561748
the guy claimed to have 15+ years of experience in playing RPGs, and yet posessed literally no imagination and made no actions - he'd just follow you around and do what you tell him to. Like a dog, only less cuddly and useful, and more often confused by vacuum cleaners. Each of his chars was the same [i'm a badass blah blah blah they've killed all emotions in me yadda yadda i have a chopper and a huge revolver. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. We're having a gritty city campaign? A powerplay type thing? We're in fucking Columbia? It's obviously a non-combat campaign? He's a bum with a gun.]

So this one time he created his character again This time it was the corporations - they killed his emotions when they oppressed the oppressed, so he fought back and killed, quote, 'a couple CEOs from NY.' By himself. In Cyberpunk2020, where you have minigun turrets popping from the ceiling to guard the watercooler in your average corporate office. And then he went on how he has important and potent connections somewhere and the GM knows nothing about them. After my GM explained that there is nothing the GM doesn't know about he replied with 'but that's my character concept!' and went on bitching for half an hour about it. Finally he folded, right after he stopped being funny and pissed everybody off. So right at the beginning of the first session my GM had him have a crash with a Hummer. He went more or less unscathed from it, the bike was trashed. I'm sure it was pure coincidence.

That felt like a fucking therapy session. Unfortunately i have more stories.

>>9561976
While we wait for this story (if it's coming) MORE CRAZY HASSAN!

>>9562056
POST MOAR STORIES

>>9562056
TELL THE STORIES!

>>9561233
Who's the guy on the left? The other ones are fairly obvious, but him not so much.

I met Crazy Hassan halfway through a dungeon once. No idea how he got there. He claimed that camels can teleport if you ask them nicely, but that sounds crazy to me. On the plus side, it turns out he also sells healing potions, which was nice.

>>9562106
Delicious Crazy Hassan stories. I must have more.

>>9562056
By all means, tell more.

>>9562106
inb4 HEY THERE, STRANGER. WHAT YA BUYIN'?

>>9562099
aqua man i believe he has an "A" on his chest

>>9562147

>>9562106
I decided to climb a mountain once. After a few weeks of grueling toil, I reach the top, and who's there? It's motherfucking Crazy Hassan. He says something about trying to breed his camels with the local goats to toughen them up, but apparently his camels were tougher already. Then he gets on his personal camel and barrels the fuck down the mountainside, hollering the entire way. I think his camel pissed on the absolute peak, too.

>>9562067

So I sent my idiot brother to town the other day to buy a cow. Only problem? He passes Crazy Hassan's on the way into town. The moron came back two hours later with a camel, painted white with black spots. Praise Pelor I didn't send him after a dozen chickens...

>>9562150
There's nothing "aquatic" about him though. Probably is Aquaman, it just makes no fucking sense.

>>9562175
On the plus side, he's probably more useful.

>>9562175

>Aquaman
>No fucking sense

Sounds about right.

>>9562164

Fuck, now I've saved that so I can request a fantasy version of the RE4 merchant from the next drawfag thread.

>>9562197
Just take out the ammo and replace it with small knives and poison phials. Problem solved.

>>9562189
>>9562181
>>9562175
I think the chainmail is meant to resemble the normal texture (i guess it's supposed to be like fish scales?) that his suit always had

>>9562214
Then WHY THE FUCK doesn't he just have scalemail?

>>9562214
I think we should stat up those characters and make a quest thread.

>>9562220
the real question here is why batman has a lethal weapon and spiked gloves

>>9562181
on the downside he doesn't have his awesome hook hand

>>9562247
You can't see his left hand. I leave it to your imagination.

>>9562240
Maybe it's a blunt edged sword? Batman has a plethora of sharp weapons in his inventory, so why is it an issue? See Batarang.

>>9562267
I think the issue with it is batman doesn't kill... and he hates guns in modern continuity

>>9562286
Probably because he didn't expect people to be analyzing it worth a damn.

Ok, so this time we were playing as a small band joining a pirate crew in Ipswich [Still CP2020. It's all CP2020, fortunately we didn't invite him to our WFRP games].

This time the military killed his emotions by forcing him to exterminate a village for some reason, and he deserted. So he was hiding in a city with a major military base. I wish i was making this shit up.

It all happened on an irc channel. We were between sessions, it was rather late [about 10-11 pm when we begun], we were supposed to have a short chat and receive some info from the main NPC to save time, but it went on into a full in-char, um, 'party'. Or however you call interaction between chars that are getting to know each other while getting plastered both in-char as irl. There was an irc log and it was fucking funny, but i can't find it.

Anyway, after about 2 hours of muckin about [and almost performing suicide by rejecting a huge mug of rum offered by our heavily bipolar captain] he finally decided to start with his angsty weltshmertzy shit. He got up and started walking 'like he was an ACPA suit', aka 'drunk robot dance'. What he wanted to do and what he wrote disregarding us was: get up, go out, howl and shoot into the air, go away like the lone, wounded soul he was. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand then the magic happened.

As i said, he disregarded the channel. My mate stood up and intercepted him saying 'whoa hombre, hit the toilet, listen to the big ear, reboot, and get back to drinking.' So we made him go to the john, where he howled in pain and shot the hand dryer dead. That was the last straw [the captain sort of shot the bar to order rum before, and we were looking for trouble in general] that broke the camel's back and we had a huge bar brawl with some irish guys that were having a wake a couple tables from us.

I love my group.

I usually only have to tell the player "do you think you can do a better job?" whenever I'm running a game, usually followed by "cause I've got a bitchin' char I've been wanting to try out" this usually causes them to reconsider taking over the position of DM, as I create chars that are interesting and use unfamiliar rules of the core book (like charging...I mean who the fuck ever charges?). after which I explain that the rules are guidelines, it even says this in the rule books...usually it ends peacefully, I've only had to tell one group to get out and that was when they threw a hissy fit over me not allowing them to get rid of a legendary item whose reputaion was " I will bring doom and misery to the owner and anyone close to them" it wasn't even true just a legend...but no shopkeep would take it and if they had done the quest to find the orignal owner they each would have gotten a new weapon any why...

What I read: /tg/ thread
What I expected: bitching about bad players in gaming groups
What I got: CRAZY HASSAN'S USED CAMELS

>>9562220
I think it's an attempt to tie his given name (arthur) into the whole 'knight/king' look. All in all, I would have left him out. Throw in Green Arrow, Mister Terrific, Hawkman, Hawk girl, Captain Atom, or any of the other A or B listers, but not a d-list like Aquaman.

>>9560694

Crazy Hassan worked better when he wasn't LOLRANDUMB CAMELS EVERYWHERE. He's just a slightly misguided soul who really likes camels and would love nothing more than to sell them for a living. Unfortunately, his poor judgement means he ends up trying to sell them in less than optimal locations.

>>9562365
obviously has not seen how much of a bad ass he is in the DCAU

>>9562056
>they killed his emotions when they oppressed the oppressed

V for Vendetta.

>>9562306
>This time the military killed his emotions by forcing him to exterminate a village for some reason

Spriggan, one of the Rambos, a half dozen Steven Seagal movies...

Has this chucklefuck had an original thought in his life?

>>9562365
Aquaman's a founding member. Besides, people who keep saying he's d-list obviously haven't paid much attention to the fuckwin modern Aquaman. I would have just played up the scale thing and given him his hook hand or at least some kind of hook weapon.

Crazy Hassan is now a must-have in every campaign.

>>9562397
give him his trident

>>9562412
That works too.

Some say he bleeds camels. All we know is, he's called Crazy Hassan.

>>9562391
I have a problem with a member of our group. Granted, he doesn't always remake the same character, but he always makes a character from a TV show or movie that he has seen recently. We played an exalted campaign, he played Jackie Chan's Monkey king. In a campaign he's playing with another group, he's doing Puss N Boots from shrek. It's really kind of grating how a creative writing major has NO imagination.

This is the portrait he gave for one of his motorcycle-driving badass vigilantes.

>>9562397
You're right. I haven'y been paying attention. So, what did they retcon to make him not a worthless chump?

Some crazy pseudo-Arab should appear and scream that now when they stole his camels they have to marry his ugly daughter.

>>9562437
Well I know that Crazy Hassan is not to be messed with. A group of players I had tried to rob Crazy Hassan. I tried to warn them not to, but they wouldn't listen. Long story short, Crazy Hassan had 5 new camels for sale the next day.

>>9562495
/r/-ing Crazy Hassan creepy writefaggotry

NOW

>>9562482
he cut off his hand to save his son. he let his brother die because he (his brother) tried to kill him and his son and just picked up the his (aquaman's) trident

>>9562443

Enh, makes sense. All the best stories are stolen. He's just not very good at it.

>>9562452

Soooo he's gayer than two guys blowing three guys?

>>9562411

Your inquisitor has located a man spreading heresy on a planet by selling used camels. Find him and dispatch of his business.

>>9562506
>>9562495
As a little bit of added irony, I made the next group these guys rolled up start with recently purchased camels. They don't know it, but they all came from Crazy Hassan and each one got their old character. They treat their camels like shit.

>>9562482
Well, imagine a dude who has to live under pressure that would kill a regular person. Now imagine him ruling a country that's constantly shit on by the entire fucking surface world. He's kind of pissed about that.

Modern Aquaman is (or rather, was, seeing as how he's gone down in awesome lately) essentially male Wonder Woman, only a lot more pragmatic. If saving Atlantis meant capping a few bitches, he's up for it. Also, god help you if you mention the fish-talking.

I once met a man who lived as a hermit in a cave not to far up a mountain path. He was dressed from head to toe in animal hides. He simply stared at me as I walked closer to him, the pelts not hiding those beady eyes that felt like they were about to pop out of his weathered face. I was afraid he was going to jump me as I passed by, and my fears were not without merit. Loud clangs and streams of brightly colored parchment spewed from the cave as he hurled his body toward me.


This crazed man, who I realized up close was wearing a camel suit, suddenly bared all of his uneven teeth at me in a crooked smile, shouted in my face: "WELCOME TO CRAZY HASSAN'S USED CAMEL EMPORIUM!"

CRAZY HASSAN is voiced by HANK ISHTAR

>>9562583
Who the fuck is Hank Ishtar?

>>9561233

>Superman a barbarian
>Not a Paladin
>Batman neither Monk nor Ranger

>>9562644
Superman is the strongest, and barbarians, thanks to Conan, are portrayed as the most powerful warriors.

Batman is entirely appropriate because he's the Dark Knight. I don't even know how you'd think Monk is appropriate.

>>9562680
batmans back story is trained by various martial artists and monks

>>9562583

I keep hwipping and hwipping until they stop moving

>>9562680

Paladins can have a strength score, you know. Superman is meant to be the "boy scout" of the group, with the simple but pure code of morality. He's the icon the others are meant to hold themselves up to.

Batman's a "Knight" in the sense that he defends his people, but his methods (martial arts, stealth, sneak attacks) make me think some Monk/Rogue multiclass, maybe some Urban Ranger.

>>9562695
Yes, and his amazing array of martial arts techniques involves a single fist to the face.

This thread should be archived for Crazy Hassan.

>>9562716

Batman's palm does make you quiver.

>>9562716
the writers are lazy but still batman was trained by monks and martial artists

>>9562644
Those are their characters. You can tell who is actually playing a character, and who is just trying to create a clone of themselves in game. Supes appears to actually be a decent roleplayer, as he breaks from who he is outside the game. Batman.... Just decided to play a Dark Knight.

>>9562566
OK, I an see the standpoint, but when compared to other supers like Captain Atom, a man of living radiation contained in an alien metal skin, or animal man, capable of channeling the natural abilities of any and every living thing on the planet, mere toughness, strength and swim speed are just kinda.... meh.

>>9562507
OK, so he's willing to sacrifice backstabbing bastards who threaten his loved ones. I'll admit, amputating his own hand was pretty hard-core. The rest isn't that big a deal when compared to other supers of the same setting.

>>9562741

With antici-

>>9562757
Well, no shit. Superman is strong, tough and flies. Wonder Woman does the same. Martian Manhunter is telepathic Superman. Flash is really, really fast. Of the core members, Green Lantern is the only one with creative powers.

>>9562767
Is the rain to blame?

pation

>>9563211
that looks shopped i can tell by some of the pixels and from having seen many shops in my time

>>9563233
Correct! Crazy Hassan is indeed shop! You want buy camal now?

>>9563248
Fucking loled.

>>9563248
COME SEE CRAAAAAAAAAZY HASSAN'S TRAVELLING MERCHANTS!

HOW DO THEY FIT THE USE CAMELS UNDER THEIR ROBES, AT SUCH LOW LOW PRICES?

WE DON'T KNOW!

>>9563248
Well done good sir

>>9560328

First Rule: The GM (DM/ST/SL) are always right.
Second Rule: See the first rule.

The GM, not the rulebook. It's not a book about absolute laws of physics, it's just a book of suggestions. The GM is always right.

Camels for sale!
This one owned by a little old man who only drove it to mosque on Sundays.
Just had its knees replaced.

came for nightmare player stories, stayed for Crazy Hassan.

Never change /tg/

someone archive this

Hey more Crazy Hassan stories. I need inspiration.

Dont let this die, i just got here!

POST MOAR CRAZY HASSAN

>>9563641
On the first part of the journey,
I was looking at all the life.
There were plants and birds. and rocks and things,
There was sand and hills and rings.
The first thing I met, was a guy named Hassan,
And his camels, which were used.
The heat was hot, and the ground was dry,
But the air was full of sound.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name,
It felt good to be out of the rain.
In the desert you can remember your name,
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain.
La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la
La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la

Work in progress. Some input would be nice.

>>9563719
Portrait is like millions of camels living in taiga, strong and crazy.

>>9563719
I imagined him with worse teeth and looking happier. He looks more like "Buy camels or I'll starve!" Than "BUY CAMEL. CAMELS ARE AWESOME. TWICE AS CUTE AS HORSE AND SHIT SMELL LESS"

rule 0: GM is right
by extension, if the book says something else, then the GM decided to make a house rule

in short, don't play with jackasses

>>9563778
agreed hassan is crazy like a guy trying to sell camel not homeless guy who will drug and rape you

Update!

>>9563778
>>9563821

This is good, already working on it.

It was evening and the Lord Star had long since fallen into the desert sand, obscuring the land in an eerie twilight, where the misleading mirages of the day became the terrifying moving shadows of the night.

Lieutenant Caldwell spat into the sand, the act causing his companion to holler in protest.

He grunted. 'It was filled with 'baccy, you'd not have liked it.' He then proceeded to stuff another large piece of tar black gum into his mouth.

The pair might not have had enough water to last the night but Caldwell had enough tobacco gum to satisfy the entire royal army.

Jane sighed and brushed down her clothes. 'Next time we stock up lieutenant, I would appreciate it if you spent more time looking for water and less time looking for gum.'

Caldwell gave her a dangerous look, the dust and blood that covered his bright red army uniform doing nothing to help the blood thirsty impression he was giving off.

After a few tense moments he grunted and walked away, the act indicative of Caldwell's long standing and well practiced routine of Interacting with the Fairer Species.

They began walking up a large sand dune. Jane faltered and Caldwell had to climb down to help her up. The first few times she fell were hard but after a further few futile attempts it was clear that she was too tired to go on.

'If only we had horses!' She cried in dismay, her last attempt to climb the slope seeing both her and the army lieutenant tumbling into the dust. She adopted the traditional Stiff Upper Lip but even Caldwell could see she was suffering.

He spent the next few moments considering what he would say to his companion whose usual cold facade was now broken by some prodigious lip quivering.

He cleared his voice before declaring sagely, 'I hear Camels are better.'

>>9563858
put sunglasses on the camel

>>9563858
A tent or something in the background would make him look more legit.

Think use car lot.

I love you /tg/

>>9563860

A sudden desert wind picked up from nowhere and the pair were pushed down the slope, their hard work reduced to nothing as the blinding gale deposited them at the bottom of the steep mound.

As the gale began to subside, the two detected a distinctly unpleasant scent. Caldwell sniffed the air with great intent.

Caldwell muttered 'Smells like-'

'CAAAAMEL?'

The two screamed as a rough disheveled desert native shoved himself in their face, his row of crooked teeth shining brighter than the moon above.

They lay there shocked, half hidden by the sand that pooled around them.

The man reared over them like a titan of stink, a giant monument of smell and general unpleasantness. Jane swore that the robe he was wearing had fur on it.

The Putrid Paragon that towered over them backed off, much to their relief.

'I must sorry say,' The Stranger continued, his voice now exceedingly calm. 'the though of camels...'

He breathed in deep, closing his eyes before exhaling again with a disturbingly sensual shiver. '...excites me.'

>>9560328
My players basically listen to everything I say without argument. While this makes playing with them extremely simple, it also means they're relatively lacking in creativity. They're getting better though.

>>9563924
>'I must sorry say,' The Stranger continued, his voice now exceedingly calm. 'the though of camels...'

>He breathed in deep, closing his eyes before exhaling again with a disturbingly sensual shiver. '...excites me.'

oh god what

>>9563924
>>9563860
HAHAHA Yes I like!

Lofwyr doesn't do much for Saeder Krupp when my players are around. He follows them. When they do something stupid, a glint of gold might be in the sky. Or a strange humanoid with a funky aura is lounging about. Eventually, they just turn a corner to find a full sized, pissed off Great Dragon looking at them. Hungry.

(Sometimes, they get kidnapped and wake up with a counter in their AR. Everytime they start doing something dumb, it counts down. When it reaches 0, they get eaten.)

>>9563892
legit doesn't seem like it would fit with a crazy guy who sells camels

Alright, tent, some vaguely visible sunglasses.

I am currently running a desert campaign.

You bet your happy motherfucking ass I am bringing in Crazy Hassan.

>>9564005

You make it sound like he's desert exclusive...

>>9563924

The stranger continued, seizing upon his unresponsive audience the only way he knew how, by extending both hands.

'But you not here to talk Hassan and what about Hassan like!' He said, his voice now picking up in tempo and excitement again. 'You here to talk Camels!'

He reached down with both hands and with a surprisingly strong yank that didn't fit his disheveled frame, lifted both Travelers off their feet. As Jane and Caldwell came to their feet they were greeted by the horrible winking eye of Hassan. Jane was sure that the gesture was supposed to confer a sense of amiable trustwortiness, something Hassan's gesture contained almost none of. It was more like a terrifying spasm than a friendly wink.

'And Hassan well good know Camels! Come see!' He declared before leading the stunned companions into a herd of camels that had appeared behind him.

He walked past the camels at a blurring fast pace and both travelers stumbled to keep up.

'This one called Sand Step! Very fast, no good for you. This one Binky! Old owner, like bones and skin! This one Lucky, oh yes, she very fine!'

This one he stopped at, taking Caldwell's hand and placing it forcefully on the Camels hind parts. The Camel turned and gave Caldwell a dirty look.

Hassan winked his horrible wink again. 'So fine she blow mind!' He nudged Caldwell conspiratorially. 'Eh! Eh!'

Oh Crazy Hassan you so crazy

>>9563993
epic image is epic

>>9564033

But Hassan, again incredibly well versed in the Empire's dislike for open debate of sexuality, spotted Jane's look of amused distaste.

'But maybe I give you alone time with Camel later, yes?'

Hassan let go of both their hands. 'Come, many to see!'

He pushed deeper into the throng of camels. Caldwell and Jane instinctively followed. As they struggled to keep track of Hassan's spindly brown legs as he weaved through the crowd, tossing insults and compliments on surrounding camels as he passed, Jane nudged Caldwell.

'Around here, the people speak of the desert nomads,'

She spoke in bursts, Hassan's rapid twisting and turning not leaving her time to talk properly,

'who rescue those in need and take care of those without hope. In turn the desert nomads speak of a Desert Spirit.'

Hassan took a wild left turn into the pack. The two followed.

'A living thing, which takes care of them as they do the city people. Some say it manifests as a sudden spring of water, bubbling to the desert surface. Others, as clouds that cover the sky when the sun is at its fiercest.'

She eyed Hassan carefully.

'But I knew one Nomad, who spoke of how he had lost his camel, trapped and far away from home. He was close to exhaustion and, in his state, was ready to curse the Spirit of the Sand. But just as he was about to curse it in proper, having just damned the camel that had given way under him, a mysterious stranger arrived and supplied him with a new camel.'

The two not really watching where they were going ran smack dab into Hassan, who had stopped. They rebounded off him. Caldwell grunted and thought, it was like running into-

'Tough Camel Hide, yes, I that get alot.' Hassan grinned.

I'm reserving myself a Crazy Hassan story during the gold rush in Alaska, featuring used POLAR CAMELS. I'll come to it when my work irl is done.

>>9564132

Caldwell grunted again, not realizing that he had spoken aloud.

Hassan laughed. 'It not worry, my wife tell me that all time!'

He winked that horrible wink.

'But then, she just jealous of my camels! Come! See!'

Hassan had somehow managed to lead them through the dense pack, out into a clearing, where two camels supped water from a desert oasis.

'This one, I name, Desert Wind.' He said fondly, patting one of the camels reverently on the side. It seemed to approve. Hassan smiled. 'And this one, it's beautiful sister, Tireless Step.' The other camel hardly looked up and Hassan laughed. 'This one, ignore. Too used to compliment.'

He patted them both fondly. 'Sad to see go.' He said quietly.

Caldwell and Jane shuffled their feet awkwardly in what they felt was an intrusion into a terribly intimate situation.

'But at least, to good owners!' Hassan continued, his voice raising in volume and good cheer. 'Come, they yours!'

With that, he pressed two well crafted leather reigns into the hands of the pair.

Jane spoke first.

'But, we haven't even given you anything!' She almost protested.

Hassan laughed.

'No! No money! I hear phrase, phrase from foreign dealer. He said, I so crazy, I slash prices so low! Something like that,'

Hassan winked at her.

'I say, I so crazy, I have NO prices!' Hassan clapped his hands in celebration of his own apparent triumph. Jane could only watch him in awe.

Hassan began to lead the camels away, on foot.

'You tell others! You show them fine Camels! You let them know, CRAZY HASSAN HAS BEST CAMELS AND BEST PRICES!'

Now in colour...

Stick with snow, or go desert?

>>9564253
I'd like to see desert

>>9564253
Snow is fine. That enhances the crazy

>>9564253
Is that camel imitating the DAT ASS image?

>>9564337
Why yes! Yes he is.

>>9561355
surely not the aquaman symbol on his chestplate. "/co/fag"

>>9564337

Yes.

>>9564406
>>9564253
this is brilliant

"See this? Good camel! Only used by old lady to go market! All leather exterior!"

me thinks, /tg/ has a new addition to their mascots.

/tg/ is still producing, I see.

Okay, I'm too tired (lazy) to continue for now. Don't let Hassan and his camels be forgotten /tg/.

Make sure you always have a proper reliable mount, and company for the night. ALL IN ONE PACKAGE! ONE CHEEEEAAAAP PACKAGE!

I wanted to write a short pieces of Crazy Hassan taking his camels underwater (with the aid of about 20 decanters of endless air or some such) to try and sell them to merfolk.

But now I feel it is not only unnatural but unjust to speak of him being anywhere but the desert of his birth or the tundra of his new home.

>>9564579

Hassan goes where business goes, if merfolk have no camels. He goes down the depths to sell them used camels at reasonable prices.

If the dark overlord has no camels, he goes to the black citadel and sells him used camels at reasonable prices.

They called him crazy trying to sell used camels in the underdark, but the spiderqueen's crazy for used camels!

WHOS CRAZY NOW?!

>>9564573
Live long and prosper.

>>9564696
Crazy Hassan that's who

>>9564579

Oh, no. That works, far too well.

Crazy Hassan reminds me of Dibbler.

>>9564696

THERE IS NO CAMEL TOO USED!

CAMEL TRADE IN! BRING IN OLD CAMEL AND HASSAN EXCHANGE IT TO CAMEL OF EQUAL, LESSER OR GREATER VALUE!

ONE HUMP!
TWO HUMP!
ONE HUMP!
TWO HUMP!
ONE HUMP!
TWO HUMP!

YOU ALWAYS LEAVE WITH TWO HUMP AND BIG SMILES!

crazy hassan's origin must be archived

>>9564854
if this isn't archived the most important part of all of us dies today

Thread has only been requested twice...

>>9564876
its been archived for a few hours now but it has no votes

>archived
suptg fools

>>9564892
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9560328/

1. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html
2. ctrl+f "hassan"
3. vote for thread, button on right

>>9564186
The freezing wind howled relentlessly through the valley, and Zac was already chilled to the bones. He had wanted to search for gold in the upper regions of Alaska, as the town-near gold mines were already exhausted. Now he was alone with his four huskies, probably fifty miles from the next outpost, and he could feel that he wouldn’t make it any longer. He knew that there had to be gold here, but even if he found it, he wouldn’t be able to bring it back home. Suddenly, the cold wasn’t that cold anymore, his vision blurred and he could feel his limbs going numb.
As he looked around, he saw his huskies yelping desperately, even to them, the cold was unbearable. There was no shelter in sight, and Zac prepared to freeze to death in this merciless blizzard, slowly falling unconscious. His last sight was his huskies dropping to the frozen ground, eyes closed and silent.

A dizzy feeling rose to his head as Zac opened his eyes, feeling strangely comfortable and warm. Was he already in heaven? There, in the flickering light of a campfire, he could make out a human shape coming closer towards him. He tried to sit upright and instantly fell down as he felt the pain piercing through his body, but he was able to remain conscious.
“WELCOME, GOOD FRIEND! I AM CRAZY HASSAD AND I SELL BEST USED POLAR CAMELS IN WORLD!”

Might take a bit longer to write this story because English isn't my first language, but we have time...

>>9564696

>>9565035
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

YESSSSSSSSS

>>9561192
As does it sound like mine.

I mean, honestly. The wizard runs past the paladin (Who happens to be the tank) to loot corpses when THERE ARE STILL UPWARDS OF SEVEN ENEMIES LEFT.

>>9565030
Sorry for naming him Hassad, it is now fixed.

Abruptly, Zac bolted upwards and literally stood in his bed. With a weak voice, he answered: “Um... hello, good sir. My name is Zacharias Lebinsky.”
“HELLO, ZACHABINSKY! NOW YOU COME AND LOOK AT POLAR CAMELS! I MAKE GOOD PRICE! DEAD DOGS FOR CAMELS! HURRY, TIME TO MAKE BUSINESS!”
Zac took a closer look at the strange person yelling at him. He had a normal physique, a huge black beard and piercing eyes that shot a piercing glance at him. He was clad in white animal hide of an origin Zac couldn’t make out... but wait, what was this about ‘polar camels’?
The man who referred to himself as Crazy Hassan dragged him out of the bed, and only then Zac realised that he was in a huge tent.
“NOW PUT ON CLOTHES TO COME OUT AND LOOK AT POLAR CAMELS!” Hassan shouted, a frightening grin on his face that exposed his beaming teeth.
Baffled, Zac did as he was told, slowly putting on a thick white fur coat and following Crazy Hassan out of the tent. It was still cold out there, but the fur gave him comfortable warmth.
As he saw the snow-white camels, his jaw dropped. Crazy Hassan hadn’t lied. He had POLAR CAMELS! Then he noticed that the camels were feasting on his dead huskies.
“NOW WE SHALL LOOK FOR GOOD POLAR CAMELS FOR YOU!” Crazy Hassan shouted and dragged Zac along with him, towards a majestic, huge polar camel that had a slightly blue touch in his white fur.
“WHERE HUSKIES DIE, POLAR CAMELS JUST GO ON! LOOK AT THIS ONE, FRIEND! NAME IS GUILLICAMEL! VERY GOOD, VERY STRONG! BUT MUST ACCEPT AS SPIRITUAL LIEGE TO RIDE ON IT!”

tell him he can have the money. then he is attacked by the local crime element for making a public deal that netted him 2400 gold. he is captured, forcing the other PC's to rescue him, and possibly allowing him to rescue himself, mini adventure out of the way, they get bonus xp and bonus money, and everyone had a little extra fun. sound good?

>>9565210
The camel snorted arrogantly at Zac, its head held up high. Zac grimaced and followed Crazy Hassan to the next pair of polar camels that looked very similar, but then also very different. It seemed like they were fighting each other for no apparent reason.
“FOURCAMEL AND THREEFIVECAMEL, VERY GOOD POLAR CAMELS! VERY KIND! MUCH FUN TO RIDE IT, BUT FIGHTING! DO NOT RIDE BOTH TOGETHER! FORMER USERS COULDN’T DECIDE WHICH ONE BETTER!”
Zac raised an eyebrow but remained silent; Crazy Hassan was already stroking the next polar camel.
It had purple fur on its head and its many teeth were sharp and threatening, but at the same time it looked really adorable. On its back were several markings, probably of former owners.
“CAMELTIST, IS CUTE, NOT? VERY NICE POLAR CAMEL! HAD BAD OWNER, POOR CAMEL! TREAT NICELY, YES? VERY GOOD PRICE, WILL NEVER DIE!”
Zac stroked the polar camel, a strange bacon odour filled his nostrils and he immediately liked the animal. How could such a... thing be so adorable?
Crazy Hassan nodded pleased and stroked his beard, then he winked at Zac.
With a low voice, he said: “and now, crazy hassan shows very clever polar camel.”
He lifted his turban and to Zac’s bewilderment, a massive polar camel with a green cloak jumped down. It smoked a big cigar and grinned knowingly.
“IT’S URSARCAMEL! TACTICAL GENIUS, IT IS! VERY CLEVER! VERY GOOD! GOOD PRICE!” Crazy Hassan shouted euphorically.
Suddenly, Zac thought that he had heard the wind howling “CREEEEEEEEEED!”, but this was ridiculous, so he quickly dismissed the thought.

By the way, is anyone even reading this?

>>9565448
I am.

>>9565448
I know I am. For some reason, I thought that the crossing of the streams of memes would be bad... But Guillicamel made me spit coffee all over the place, so it's all good.

>>9565448
as am i.

>>9565448
anyone who isn't is missing out

Fucking yes. The next time I DM, it will be desert land. They party will need the help of camels to get where ever they need to go. And Crazy Hassan will be there to "help" them. On a percentile roll, there's a chance that one of the camels he sells them is actually his two dwarf assistants in a camel suit. And at the first opportunity, when the party is resting, they leave to return to Hassan to repeat the ruse again.
And it shall be glorious!
Also, anyone want to stat him as an NPC?

>>9565448
Crazy Hassan leaned close to Zac and grinned insanely. But despite this closeness, he shouted at him in his selling voice: “NOW, FRIEND! WHAT POLAR CAMEL DO YOU DESIRE? VERY GOOD PRICE, YES? WILL GIVE YOU CAMEL FOR MEAT OF DEAD DOGS! MUST MAKE DEAL, YES? YOU WILL FIND GOLD, CRAZY HASSAN GIVES CAMELS! THEN WE MAKE PROFIT!!!”
He danced around Zac and let out cries of joys – or at least it looked like that, maybe he wanted to bait polar bears for his polar camels.
Not that Zac had another choice, but actually, it seemed like a good plan to him. So he said: “Well, seems like a good plan to me.”
Crazy Hassan jumped and shouted jubilantly: “WE MAKE DEAL! VERY GOOD! USED POLAR CAMELS ARE BEST CAMELS! HURRY, BIG PROFIT AWAITS US! NOW, TO MAKE DEAL, YOU SHALL RIDE TO TOWN, MAKE CONTRACT! TAKE MY PERSONAL USED POLAR CAMEL!”
He opened a huge cage and a wild used yellow polar camel with red spots dashed out. Unimpressed, Crazy Hassan took its harness and pulled strongly.
“NOW, NOW, YOU’RE AN ANGRY CAMEL, CAMELTOE! BUT I LIKE YOU!”
He looked at Zac and grinned again. “IT’S CAMELTOE, MY FAVOURITE USED POLAR CAMEL! VERY STRONG, VERY GOOD! WE RIDE TO CITY TO MAKE CONTRACT! HURRY, MUST MAKE PROFIT!”
Zac couldn’t help but smiling at the strange man with his strange steed, but he followed Crazy Hassan to Cameltoe.
Together, they rode with the used polar camels to the city, only sometimes Cameltoe dashed together with Guillicamel towards some beings Crazy Hassan referred to as ‘Word Bears’, while the yellow polar camel neighed something like: “FUCKING HERETICS! DIE, TRAITOROUS SCUM! FUCK!”
But in the end, they reached the city relatively unscathed, only Fourcamel and Threefivecamel couldn’t end their quarrel.

>>9565741

As Zacharias Lebinsky looked back at the story years later, he was sure that meeting Crazy Hassan was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He wondered if the old man had finally realized his dream of selling used submarine camels to merfolk, but he was sure that there was no one who could refuse an offer from this man.

To be continued... sorry for the abrupt ending, I have to do some things irl now...
Any comments on my work? Constructive criticism is welcome!

>>9565681

Level 1 Human Expert

SkillFocus: Camel

last group i had our DM let them try shit like that. but he always made sure that if there would be a "rocks fall X dies" moment so that whichever fag was causing trouble got the idea eventually either from wising up or getting their character killed by us from losing us something worthwhile

>>9564253
Maruader Mansson earns +4 internets!

GUIZ I SCRATCHED OUT SUM WORDS IN A BOOK AND WROTE "YOU HAVE TO BUY ALL MY STUFF" IN IT DO YOU THINK IF I BRING A BUNCH OF STUFF TO A SHOP AND SHOW THEM WHAT THE BOOK SAYS THEY'LL DO IT?

>>9565918

Only if there's a mention of Crazy Hassan and his Used Camel Emporium

>>9560786
>I have a player who thinks he's playing Final Fantasy

ftfy

>>9565681
>Also, anyone want to stat him as an NPC?

>implying Hassan might be struck in combat or have to make a roll for any relevant check

You might as well try to stat the wind, anon.

Rhuule was afraid. For the first time in her life, no less. As she ran through the T'mal desert, her mind was dominated by two things - running and breathing. The sun was scorching hot, but that didn't really bother her - the desert was her home.

The whole ordeal could've been avoided, of course. When that crazy bastard set up a shop, nobody really paid attention. This morning, however, everyone found out they should.

He was riding his camel furiously and was slowly catching up after them. He had a crazy expression on his face and a net in his arm. Rhuule was, fortunately, not the slowest runner, but the guy was obviously nuts. He might not have the brain power needed to determine he should catch the slowest one.

Her suspicion were true - the lunatic was speeding up past her brother and after her. She didn't know why he picked her - truth be told, she didn't care. The sound of a thrown net, however, told her something completely different.

She stumbled and fell on the ground. The rest of them sped away, and the maniac stopped as well. He was grinning widely. He tied a rope around her neck and tied the other end to his camel. Then he said: "Another fine specimen for Hassan's Slightly Used Camel Emporium!"

>>9566529
does this mean creepy Hassan story is a go?

>>9566545

>There is no macro to express your face when you realise the camel hasn't been used...

>Yet

>>9566573
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>9566496
It's an NPC. Someone, somewhere, is going to try to kill it.

>>9566573
>you realise the camel hasn't been used...

>Yet

.....

>>9566605

Then they will learn that it is not possible. Hassan is one of the elementary forces of the universe - the crazy merchant.

>>9566605

Kill? Crazy Hassan? Oh please...

>>9566654
WITH A FINE SLIGHTLY-USED CAMEL FROM CRAZY HASSAN'S USED CAMEL EMPORIUM, THAT'S HOW!

>>9566668
And then they will, quite rightly, call bullshit and leave.

OP, you are in the right. Tell this guy to get in line or gtfo.

>>9566654
depends on the system

if magic is involved then explain its fantasy and isnt supposed to make sense

also
>ItsmagicIdonthavetoexplainshit.jpg

>>9566668

Crazy Hassan is like the Discworld style Luggage salesman and L-space.

>>9566674

Well, it's their fault for messing with Crazy Hassan.

>>9566693
Hassan is a universal singularity

I would have had a pickpocket steal the extra money from him.

>>9566704
If you're going to include him in the game, the players won't know anything about him except you're going into a lot of detail about this one fucker and his camels. If he gets his camels by Polymorphing other beings, as shown up-thread, and he 'uses' them the way that's also implied upthread, that makes a very solid Evil Force, which is what PCs are meant to be killing.

>>9566654
>How do I convince a person very sensitive to criticism and will always blame something going wrong on anyone but himself to not be so harsh and calm down?

You tell him he gets to play an inconsequential NPC (maybe a pet or the hapless party mascot) until he learns how to be a big boy.

>>9566738
you attempt to pickpocket hassan.
whatever you roll, fail or success,
you accidentally attempt to pickpocket a camel off of Hassan

>>9566743
BBEG without the players knowing its him?

he has an outlet in every major nowhere, the shop attendants in these outlets are always a pair of unamused looking dwarves in different halves of a pantomime camel costume

>>9566750
>"Fine, but I'm gonna kill him off as soon as possible."

dohohoho

Good luck with that one, anon.

>>9566792
>bitchy player who has no business trying to have fun

>Hes going to be the fucking DM!

>my face

>>9566743
come on, we all know Hassan is chaotic neutral

>>9565681
HASSAN WILL TRADE YOU A 12 STR FOR AN 18 DEX!

Hassan has a 13, 16, and an 18 in charisma, but no con score.

>>9566858
>Remorseless grind of logic in a fantasy superhero game

Why are you letting this guy be the GM again?

Serious question. Is it just because you're meeting in his house, or does he have you all over a barrel in some other way?

This game doesn't sound like it will be very fun.

I actually ran into Crazy Hassan in one of my games.
He shouted non-sequiturs constantly, and sold me a "sleeping cocoon" while I was playing a character that doesn't sleep.

I left his shop confused, slightly poorer, with two sleeping cocoons and a 'coonskin cap.

<- Crazy Hassan

>>9567293

>index.php.jpg

wtfamireading.iso.mp3.rar.doc.exe

crazy hussein stabbed my baby!

>>9566529
hoping this isnt the end of this story, desperately hoping

>>9567595

The only possible conitinuation for that story is rape. You don't want to read that.

>>9567361
>It's just a leftover from a php-based image archive, bro.

Like how sometimes websites will prompt your computer to save an image as an html document.

Quit being a bitch GM, OP. Tell your players to STFU and and go kill sand orcs for loot.

Also tell them "200gp is for well fed, broken and TRAINED camels"

And sold by camel herders who hold the rights to sell them at market. No market rights? That's a fine/fee/penalty. Don't forget too make them pay a premium price for the market space where they try to sell their camels(as the local merchants don't know them)

And it's not like it'll be an instant sell either. They have to pay for a corral for them to be in, food, water ect.

What if one of the camels is sick? or old? Who in the group has animal handleing 'camel'?

Don't just take it from some shitty PC. Be a GM, start nailing uppity PC's with all the overlooked details.

Come on, /tg/, we can't let Crazy Hassan die that fast...

>>9568682

He lives on in sup/tg/, at least.

Still, where else might Crazy Hassan ply his wares?

>>9569403
To centaurs. I can imagine him trying to make up the mechanics for it.

>>9568682
That is not dead which can eternal sell camels

There is only one direction Crazy Hassan can go. He has sold camels at every end of the world: from deserts to desserts ("ICE CREAM CAMELS!!"), from highest mountain to the depths of the sea, so the only place left to go is up. Into space.

"YOUR CAMEL IS THE CAMEL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!!!"

THIS is Crazy Hassan's younger brother

>>9567632
i beg to differ

>>9570933
I beg to continue.

I'm out of here, but this needs to be continued. Do it.